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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Blogging

  • Through it All, I Blog

    Through it All, I Blog

    writer, blog, through it all I blog

    I blog, therefore I am

    Through it all, I blog. There is honor and integrity in a blogger who writes in real time, through the pain and the joy, in the face of the most uncomfortable times in her life. This is the blogging standard that I have set for myself since I began blogging. If you are afraid to hit the publish button, you know that you are being true to yourself. Because, lets face it, there is nothing quite as scary as telling the world your deepest, darkest secrets or exposing your weaknesses only to have those very experiences thrown back in your face and used as a weapon against you.

    When you are raw and vulnerable, this is when you are at your best. This is when you are genuine. This is when you are relate-able and real. This is when you are your most human. If I wanted sunshine and rainbows blown up my ass, I would read fairy tales. I read blogs. Don’t get me wrong, fairy tales have there place but honest, raw, gut wrenching flawed life is what gets me through the days. I have blogged through some of the worst days of my life. This is where I find support and genuine connections. Who can find a connection if it’s draped in superficiality and bullshit?

    I am afraid of perfection. I certainly don’t know it well. It is out of my depth. Quite frankly, if you are always rainbows and unicorns I feel like you are not being honest with yourself and you are definitely not being honest with me. I want understanding and commiseration, not judgment and aloofness. I want to see a part of myself in you and I want to recognize you in me. I want to connect not be talked at. I want to be talked to and more important, I want to be listened to.

    I blog because I am a writer.

    I survive experiences by writing them down and wading through the thick of it. I use those same experiences to look back and get perspective. I use my words to get to know myself on a deeper level. My words help me to expose myself in a way that I may otherwise be too afraid to share. My words can scream words that my mouth is too terrified to whisper. The judgment and condemnation of my words is not immediate. I don’t have to see your face or disapproval. I can just tell my story to the world and hope that somewhere, someone else can relate. Every thought I have may not be earth shattering, whose is? But my words may be just the thing that is so relate-able that it saves someone else who’s suffering. My words are a life preserver. Someday they may comfort my children when my voice can no longer speak to them.

    Writing is as crucial to my survival as breathing. Writing is my safe place. Writing has saved my life. Without it, all the feelings of helplessness, anger, vulnerability, sadness and confusion would’ve eaten me alive. Writing, for me, is about more than words on paper and never about writing just what others want to hear. Anyone who has ever read my blog can attest to that. Sometimes my truth is so brutally honest that I offend myself. I cringe, I blog my truth and hit publish anyway.

    Why do you blog?

    Through it all, I blog

     

     

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  • Anatomy of a Mommy Blogger

    Anatomy of a Mommy Blogger

     

    Throat Punch Thursday,mommy blogger

    Mommy Blogger Means Mommy who Blogs

    When did Mommy Blogger become a bad word? The other day, I was accused  by one of my readers at another site I write for ( not you ladies, you rock), who apparently doesn’t know me like you all do, of sitting around in my robe all day and thinking up these “ridiculous” articles. I wish! I believe the article was one in which I compared “real” (meaning those of us who are not celebrities. Not meaning to imply that Beyoncé is not a “real” mom because obviously if she has a baby and is taking care of it, she is “real” not imaginary.) Well, apparently Beyoncé reads that website because someone certainly attacked me for that remark and the only person who I can think of that should get that defensive about Beyoncé would be Beyoncé herself or her mama.

    Then it hit me, this is what people think of mommy bloggers. They think we sit around in our pajamas all day, eating bon bons and pecking away at the keyboard while we ignore our kids and live in perpetual squalor. It is no wonder, women writers are so afraid of that title. I assure you that I do not fit any of the stereotypes that people think of when they think of “mommy blogger”. In fact, I’m pretty sure most mommy bloggers don’t.

    mommy blogger, blogging, motherhood, blog, social media

    This illusion of a mommy blogger is not feasible if you think about it because by the very definition of “mommy blogger” we have children, have given birth and/or are pregnant. This does not allow much time for sitting on our asses and eating bon bons though I wish it did. I have never eaten or seen a bon bon in my life because I have kids. Bon bons would never last in my house. As soon as I would try to put one in my mouth some little person would be in my ear asking for a bite and just as suddenly in my mouth snatching it away.

    If anything, a Mommy blogger should be defined as a wonder woman like creature who has given birth, is raising children, has the balls and presumably some talent to write about it openly. I also happen to live like a functioning yet severely affected ADHD patient.

    [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”] You can grab your own Proud Mommy Blogger button under the “about” tab.

    A Mommy Blogger is a Multitasker Extraordinare

    I sit down to write during naps.Five minutes in someone usually yells out for me. I walk past a toy in the hallway and pick it up. Then I walk into the bedroom to be told that little Suzy needs a drink of water. I grab her hamper and carry the clothes to the laundry room and start the washer. While the washer is filling, I walk to the cupboard to grab a cup. I fill the cup and then I wash the few dishes that are in the sink. I load the washer, walk back to the child’s bedroom and hand her the water. She asks for a tissue. I walk into the bathroom to grab a tissue. Clean the sink and make it free of toothpaste. I pick up the wet towels from this morning. I walk back across the hall, hand Suzy a tissue, give her a kiss and walk towards the laundry room. Out the corner of my eye, I see that the living room coffee table is covered in puzzles and coloring books and the cushions need to be fluffed. I take the laundry to the laundry room. As I walk through the kitchen towards the living room, I see that there are crumbs from breakfast on the table. I grab the sponge and begin to wipe the table. My phone dings. I have a text message from my husband. I call the insurance company to ask about a statement. While I listen to musak, I fluff pillows and put away puzzles. The living room is tidy. I take the pillow the girls drug from my bedroom back to my bed. Musak continues. I notice I still need to fix my bed. I fluff the comforter and realize there are loveys in my bed. More musak. I finish fluffing my pillows and straightening my bed then I walk across the hall to put the lovey on my youngest daughters shelf. Musak is still playing. She stirs and I have to stop what I am doing and soothe her back to sleep. Tip toeing out of the room, the musak suddenly stops and a very loud insurance agent yells, “Mary Jane Magilicutty, How may I help you?” Startled, I run out of the room. 20 minutes later, I am done being transferred, pressing one and explaining to this agent the extent of my stress incontinence. I am about to lose my mind. I walk to my desk to continue writing my article that I started an hour ago when the kids first went down for their nap. Shit! I forgot I need a cup of coffee. I walk to the coffee maker and begin the process of making a cup. I can’t find the creamer. I go in search of the creamer. It’s at the very back of the refrigerator behind the apple juice, organic milk and leftovers. I finally get to it and the apple juice, whose lid was apparently not closed, falls out of the refrigerator and spills on the ground. 20 minutes and a lot of cussing later I am headed back to my desk with tepid coffee after mopping up the juice. I walk over to my desk, sit down and type one sentence and a little one walks up to me and tells me they are awake. Breathe. Wait. Repeat. That, my friends, is the day in the life of a Mommy blogger.

    This is my day, every day. I work in 5-minute increments and then I stay up until the wee hours of the night to make up the difference. Bon bons? I can barely sneak in a minute to eat a piece of stale cold toast. So don’t tell me that Beyoncé does more than me before 8 am because I am still asleep and then I sit in my robe all day. Hey fuck you! I run circles around Beyoncé. She has a team of people to do what she does. I am a team of one for most of the day. It’s just short people, who I can barely understand, and me. Being a Mommy blogger means I not only do all the Mommy duties of my day, I throw in researching, writing and thinking up interesting things to say.Well, things to say. Do you have any idea how hard that is when I have a raging case of Mommy brain, 2 little ones in my ear talking about everything that has ever happened to them and anyone they know and trying to remember birthdays, anniversaries, appointments, meetings and deadlines?

    It’s hard but I do it because I LOVE it. I love my girls, I love my husband, I love my job and I want it all. Am I exhausted? Yes. Do I say some things that are irreverent? Yes, I am too tired to over think it. Do I make mistakes? Hell, yeah. Do I feel mental? Yes. So throat punch to anyone who thinks mommy bloggers sit around in their robes all day.  Now, pass the fucking bon bons, I’m hungry, exhausted and I have a deadline and I’ve only got 5 minutes before the kids wake up again.

    What do you think when you hear the word Mommy blogger?

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  • Online Persona ~ Perception or Deception?

    Online Persona ~ Perception or Deception?

    online persona

    Online Persona; Who’s Really Behind the Screen?

    Online Persona~ What does that even mean? What does your online persona say about you? Does online persona mean that we are not who we say we are? Does it mean that we are like the great and powerful Oz and we sit behind the cloak of our computer screens and pretend to be someone or something that we are not? Or is online persona simply a version of ourselves that we feel safer sharing with the world at large? For me, my online persona is ME…magnified.  You can ask anyone who has met me in real life, I am just as loud and opinionated in real life as I am on the internet but I am also as caring and loving.

    Of course, I am also quiet and subdued when you first meet me. After all, I am a lady not some rodeo circus clown just spouting silliness to make the world laugh. I am also very passionate and I love my friends and family in a big way. The way I love my readers on here in a big way. You, boys and girls, are my tribe. You know most of my deepest and darkest secrets and you’ve seen me at my best and worst. Hell, you know things about me that not even some of the people who know me in real life know about me. I feel safe with you. This is one of the great things about blogging; my online village.

    Online Persona; Who are We Really?

    Then again there is a not so great part and that is the part where a writer can be taken out of context, misinterpreted or scrutinized. One post taken out of context can seem barbaric to a first time reader but if you knew me, you’d know that it was just vulnerability ( because I feel safe enough with you to be myself transparently). Writing online is like moving into a community, meeting your neighbors and making friends. You grow together, you know one another’s stories and you support one another.

    But if you write at a new venue or someone comes to your blog for the first time, you are the new guy again. Of course, if they have found your blog, they are technically in your house. If they found you at a new venue, it’s something different  entirely. You’ve just moved into an entirely different part of the online universe, some place across the online world and nobody knows you. If you go in and act like you own the place with your bold and loud antics, you may turn some off. After all, these new neighbors haven’t had years to find you endearing. To them, you may be like damn sandpaper. Really loud and obnoxious sandpaper. You might be taken out of context. Hell, when you speak to them about Throat Punching, they may take offense and not know that you are trying to right the wrongs in the universe. They may think that you are a judgmental asshole because you are new and they don’t know you. Keep that in mind the next time you read a new blogger, maybe they are not so bad. Maybe you’ve only taken them out of context or they were having a bad day. Remember a blog post is just a snippet, a moment out of a lifetime.

    What do you do? You want to be yourself and be transparent but you also don’t want people to want to lynch you for being taken out of context. How do you make your online persona reflect the person you truly are without leaving yourself open to being attacked for being YOURSELF?

    What do you want your online persona to say about you?

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  • Protecting Your Privacy Online

    Protecting Your Privacy Online

    Privacy

    Online Privacy, what’s enough?

    Privacy Please. Blogging is very personal. When I started blogging, it was 1) to exercise my writing muscles 2) to keep a memory book of my children growing up and this time in our life. I never even took privacy into consideration. I just assumed I was writing, on my computer, and that was where it was staying…like writing in my diary as a teenager, but without the paper.

    I took the online name Truthful Mommy because I knew I wanted to be honest and by operating under a pseudonym, I could do that with a bit more ease. I wasn’t really too concerned about what I was going to write as much as I was concerned about who might find me by using my birth name; high school friends, people who hate me, people I know in real life who don’t know me as well as they might if they read my blog. People who were in Junior League with me, or on the school board or some of the Mom’s groups I was involved in at the time. I didn’t really want to hand them my diary.

    I wanted the freedom to express myself and the safety of a space where I could be true to the process. I didn’t want to be censored because, honestly, censoring your journals is lying to yourself about your history.Besides, doesn’t old age muddle the truth enough as it is; sundowners is a bitch and I know I won’t remember everything exactly as it happened when I’m 87. I didn’t want my children to one day read a lie. I wanted to be able one day to give them access to my blog and let them know that we have all been there. I wanted that connection. I want them to know that we are united as women and as mothers and I understand everything they are going through. I wasn’t thinking of privacy.

    I write honestly, irreverently and occasionally in a very raw manner. I find that, to this day still, I only want people that I don’t know in real life at all or that I know in real life but VERY well to read my blog. All the acquaintances and people I know from school, church, the local moms groups…I don’t want them to ever find me online. Ever. Father would be quite disappointed to know just how bad my potty mouth is. Yet, I started using my real name because I wanted to start working as a freelance writer and it just seemed more professional.

    My community grew from a handful of family members and friends in the last couple of years to an audience that is growing by the day upwards of 50,000+ if you include my blog page views, subscribers, GFC, Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest, Aiming Low, Smart Mom Style and the Stir.

    How much of your privacy are you willing to forfeit?

    I still write uncensored. I have to. This is my mission. My blog is called The TRUTH about Motherhood not I’m going to blow sunshine and unicorns up your ass about Motherhood. My honesty has gotten me some trolls to be sure. Not everyone will agree with me, nor do I expect or want them to. Variety is the spice of life and I like life spicy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that seeing my numbers rise, getting the feedback and having received my fair share of hate mail, it has made me rethink some things.

    For example, do you use your children’s photos in your blog? I used to have the pages of my blog filled with my girls’ photos and then I realized that when people don’t like what you say, they will take shots to hurt you wherever that might be. I can’t take that chance. So, there are seldom ever any recent photos of my girls on my blog anymore. It had to become, at least a little bit, about protecting the family on the web.

    I used to use names of people that I knew (I know, this is blogging 101 but I had no idea). I don’t do that anymore. I’ve never used my husband’s name, nor talked about the place I work. I don’t talk about where I live. You’ll never catch me on Foursquare because I don’t want to give people a road map to come stab me.

    I’m just wondering, what do you do to maintain your privacy online? It feels so personal that sometimes you forget that you are talking to the entire world and you never really know who’s listening. It could be someone who will give you the next greatest opportunity of your life or it could be the next Ted Bundy.

    We really never know who is sitting behind the screen talking to us because we are all anonymous online. Next time you tweet, update your status on FB or write a blog post, just remember that your boss could be reading it. Your mortal enemy could be reading it. Your best friend. The mean mom from yoga class. The guy whose heart you broke in 9th grade. Your priest could be reading it.

    Why did you start blogging? How much of yourself are you willing to give away? Where do you draw the line in what you publish? How do you protect your privacy online.

    I will talk more about ways to protect your privacy online in a follow up post about blogging.

    Privacy, how many of us have any?

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  • How much to charge for a Sponsored Post & Why YOU Need a Media Kit

    How much to charge for a Sponsored Post & Why YOU Need a Media Kit

    How much to charge for a sponsored post? That is the question all bloggers struggle with, even lose sleep over. No one wants to be shortchanged or work for free. I know I don’t but how much to charge for a sponsored post is a hard question to answer.

    I could ask you to first ask yourself, what do you think your talent is worth? How about your time? Time away from your family? Your social media influence? Your community?

    Are you a wordsmith whose words cast a magical spell over your readers? Are you a humorist who can make people laugh at and enjoy reading about absolutely any topic? Do your words tug at heartstrings and illicit empathy and understanding, camaraderie? Are you a salesman who can weave a web of silk and turn any piece of shit into shinola with your turn of phrase? Or are you a press release regurgitator? It’s no matter; there is a place for all of us.

    I read an article last week by Cecily Kellogg on MomCrunch that enlightened me and shed some light on the age old question, how much to charge for a sponsored post?
    This is the simple formula that she came up with. I say simple because when I read it I thought to myself, wow that makes sense. But not simple in the fact that I would have ever figured it out had it not been for Cecily’s generosity in posting the piece.

    Here it is.

    How much to charge for a sponsored post:

    Algorithm                                                                                                    Example
    Number of total Monthly page views                                                    100,000
    (Add to that) Your total Number of Twitter Followers                      10,000 = 110,000
    (Divide that total by)Your Google Page Rank                                      3 = 37,778
    (Multiply that total by .01)                                                                       37,778 * .01 = 378
    Divide the entire total by 2                                                                       378/2

    = How much to charge for a sponsored post                                                 $189.00

    **If your Google page rank is higher than 5, this algorithm will not work out in your favor. I personally decided that when calculating my rate of how much to charge for a sponsored post, I would skip the multiply by .01 step. If this were the case in the example, the pay for the blogger would be about $380 per sponsored post rather than  the $189. I think if you have 100,000 page views per month and 10,000 Twitter followers, you would charge somewhere around of $200- $300 per post. The more influential the blogger, the more you can charge for a sponsored post.

    In my case, I now charge between $100-$300 per sponsored post. Add to that another $50-$100 for a widget in the sidebar, per month. My rates of how much to charge for a sponsored post have recently gone up. Of course, this all depends on my relationship with the brand. These are all things to consider when deciding whether or not to even take a sponsored post.

    I can’t tell you what I would charge for text links because I simply refuse to do them. I feel it will litter my blog and make it a commercial. I hate commercials. That is my philosophy for my own blog.

    I also don’t let companies post press releases on my blog for pay. I can’t be a billboard or I would probably lose my readers. I can’t take that gamble. I’ve been building my reputation and this blog for almost 3 years; I can’t just give away my relationship with my community. It’s priceless.

    Never ever work with a brand that you don’t genuinely support. If you are a vegetarian, don’t take a sponsored post from the National Pork board. Your readers will figure out that you are selling them a product that you, yourself, would not use and you will lose any and all integrity that you had. You will lose your authenticity. You cannot get that back. Keep that in mind.

    Something else, in my opinion, that all bloggers absolutely need to be equipped with is a media kit. If you ever want to justify your rates, solicit sponsorships, or just demonstrate to brands why they should work with you over any of a million other bloggers, you need a media kit. It lists your stats and a quick blog bio in a handy easy to access format. Your media kit is your online business card and resume.

    Start by making sure that you have a Google Analytics account and, my personal recommendation, a statcounter.com account. This was a piece of invaluable piece of advice given to me by blogging diva, Jessica Gottlieb and she should know.I listened. I’m glad I did. I suggest that you do the same. Armed with your stats, you can make an awesome media kit to wow even the most selective brands. I have compiled a very comprehensive how to write a media kit for your blog post that I urge you to take advantage of now.

    Lifting the Veil on Making Money in Blogging is a collaborative effort among several bloggers that aims to address questions surrounding the monetizing issue in an attempt to shed some light on what is often treated as a very taboo aspect of blogging; it seems everyone wonders how to do it, yet no one really talks about it. Until now. There are as many ways to earn money blogging as to blog so check out the other bloggers participating in Lifting the Veil On Making Money In Blogging:

    Check these amazing posts out. This is a great group of generous bloggers, who have learned a lot along the way. We just want to help other bloggers learn to navigate the monetization of their blog and demystify some of the biggest secrets of blogging. Hope this post helps you know how much to charge for a sponsored post and how to write a media kit.

    How much to charge for a sponsored post

  • How to Write a Media Kit for your Blog

    How to Write a Media Kit for your Blog

    What Do You want Your Media Kit to Say about You?

    media kit, how to write a media kit

    How to write Media Kit for your Blog ~ We all want to know where to begin when writing our media kit but it’s one of those secrets of the trade that no one wants to share. On the rare occasion that someone actually gives you feedback, it’s cryptic and vague. I am here to decode it for you.I figured since I already spilled the beans on how to write a Mommy blog and how to navigate Twitter, the next logical step is how to write a media kit for your blog. Above is a screenshot of my current media kit. There are two pages in total. This is page one.I came up with my media kit by doing lots of research on the internet, consulting other ( more experienced) bloggers to look it over and having those people who actually receive sponsorship proposals to give me their honest feedback. I hope this post is helpful to you. If it is, don’t be stingy pass it on to your fellow bloggers and leave me a comment with any questions or suggestions that you might have.

    •  Contact information. For the love of God, make it easy for companies to contact you via your media kit, your blog, etc. If you don’t, do not be surprised when no one contacts you. You can’t pitch companies to work with you or to sponsor you to conferences if you are not even professional enough to make yourself easily accessible on your blog and media kit. They want to know that if they need to reach you, they can. Make it easy. Be accessible.
    • Your blog the Brand. Your blog is a representation of you. Your media kit should reflect your blog’s brand. What message are you trying to send? I would advise using the same color scheme and graphics that emphasize your brand. If someone is familiar with your blog, there should be no mistaking that your media kit is for your blog. I even include a screen shot of my blog within my media kit. Same color scheme, same theme across the board…blog, media kit, business cards, Facebook landing page, Twitter background.
    •  The Right Pitch. An elevator pitch is a short, concise explanation of what you do. What is your blog about? The TRUTH about Motherhood is  a brutally honest, laugh out loud funny, raw account of navigating this new lifestyle that we Mommies find ourselves drowning in after having children. It’s what happens after the “They all live happily ever after” takes place.

    Your Media Kit is Your Online Introduction

    •  What’s Your niche? What’s a Niche? Where do you fit into the grand scheme of your niche? Ask not what the company can do for you but what your blog can do for the company. After you’ve stated your elevator pitch, you can now give an explanation of your blog’s niche (Mommy Blog) , why you are an important part of that niche ( I’ve spent the past three years blogging, building my brand and growing my community), and why you are a good fit with a potential vendor or PR representative ( because I am well respected and known. I am trusted and people know me via my blog. I’m more than a nameless face behind a computer. I have laughed and cried with my community. We’ve consoled one another,cheered one another on and helped one another through difficult wins and losses. We are friends). This is the place to sell your brand. What makes you a better fit than the next blogger? What can you do that is unique?
    • Statistics. When discussing traffic statistics, include the following; total monthly page views, uniques, feed subscribers, new visitors, pages per visit and time on site. I also include my social media reach. This includes my Twitter followers, Klout score ( though after they reconfigured the algorithm, Klout has killed everyone’s score), Facebook Friends/ Fans, Google Page rank and Alexa Traffic. Definitely include your social media reach because even if you only have 300 blog followers but you have 10,000 Twitter followers or 3000 Facebook fans, your reach is far wider than you might think. If you have it, provide a link to your portfolio so potential partners can see that you are diverse and that you reach is even greater. Don’t hide your light under a bushel. Be loud and proud but not obnoxious.
    • Just how influential are you, really? If you don’t feel like your statistics are as high as you would like them to be, focus on your influence and how you reach a specific audience. Include your demographics, especially if your key demographic reflects that of the company you are trying to work with. Your influence isn’t just online. Do you have a large circle of people who you influence in real life? Are you active at your child’s school? Church? The Junior League? Any social groups? Also include awards you’ve received that are relevant to your influence. This exemplifies your reach. Mention it.
    • Advertising Guidelines and Pricing. I don’t put cost information in my media kit but rather have them contact me directly for more information. If you are going to provide specifics, I recommend; What sizes of advertising will you offer (e.g., 125×125, 120×600)? How much does each size ad cost for a week? A month? A year? Will you give discounts for clients who book advertising over several months time? I also provide a laundry list of different ways that we can work together; i.e.

    media kit

    If this was helpful, please share it and since GFC is abandoning us Wordpress blogs in March please consider subscribing via RSS or email.Give the company no excuse to not work with you. Make yourself available and irresistible. If you only have one chance to make a first impression and everyone judges a book by it’s cover, let your media kit be the right cover on the book of your blog.

    Let Your Media Kit Make a Statement

  • When Internet Trolls Attack

    When Internet Trolls Attack

    internet trolls

    Internet Trolls

    Subhuman creatures who post inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (more…)

  • The Howard Hughes of Blogging

    The Howard Hughes of Blogging

    Blogging~ I started blogging because I am a writer, or so I fancy myself to be anyways. I started blogging because I was told that it was the thing to do to build my online presence; to build a portfolio and to network. Instead, blogging has become friends, support, social media, cheerleaders and camaraderie. Blogging has become so much more than I could have expected but in the end, the goal is to be a writer. Blogging was supposed to be the gateway drug to a regular column somewhere,online or in print, I didn’t care; a book about nothing; a way to make a living doing something that I love, sharing my soul. My goal in blogging is to be seen as a writer, not a journalist (I’m no journalist) but perhaps a storyteller who tells a story that is relate-able and thought provoking. Blogging was supposed to parlay into something more.

    blogging

    Blogging the first step

    I know everyone says, there’s no money in blogging unless you are either 1) a huge famous blogger 2) you are selling your space for advertising 3) you are selling your soul for sponsored posts (let’s be clear, there is nothing wrong with sponsored posts if you believe in the product, I love to share a good product. And we all need to eat. I just can’t do ONLY sponsored posts.) but I wanted to be the exception and be a writer. I wanted to bloggy style leap frog my way into the writing world.  I guess it’s the difference between working on a sitcom and starring in Les Miserable on Broadway. It’s all how you look at it. I love blogging but I love Broadway. I think that I’ve done pretty good with figuring out this blogging stuff. It’s been over 2 years and people tell me that my content is good. I want to believe them but then I realize, maybe, they are just blowing smoke up my ass. It’s not unheard of. You know unicorns and rainbows and all that? Of course it’s nice to hear nice things said about yourself but if what you’re doing is not working and no one gives you any constructive criticism how can you fix the problem. You won’t. You will stay stagnant. I don’t want sunshine and unicorns blown up my ass, I want the truth.I want to move forward.

    I see my friends getting writing jobs. I am thrilled for them. I really am. Hell, I’ve even put people in touch with other bloggers to do jobs that I think they would be a good fit for. Why not? What goes around comes around , right? I love helping my fellow bloggers find success. Of course, I’d like to reach some of my goals too. But I feel like I’m treading water and I don’t know the next step. I find amazing opportunities and then they never come to fruition. It’s frustrating. Initial contact only to never have my response email not responded to, lofty promises that always fall flat, and potential writing jobs that never materialize.Maybe the problem is that I want to be paid but I can’t be bought. I know many of you have been there, or are there right this moment. I find myself sometimes wondering if it’s worth it. The time away from my girls, the lack of sleep, the time away from my husband…I feel ,on some days, that my blog is a metaphorical money pit and the currency is my soul. I’m constantly putting into it but I’m not really getting any substantial return. I feel like every opportunity is forced and I have to push and claw my way into it, just to be considered. All of these vote for me popularity contests, how do they gauge what kind of writer/blogger you really are if the person who annoys people the most for votes is the one who wins. That means they should rename the contest to most annoying blogger, right? The bigger your blogging numbers, the more opportunities that you will be provided, right? Traffic costs time. You have to dedicate a good amount of time socializing and how are you supposed to be a good Mommy blogger, if you are not being a good Mommy? They say content is king, but if that is true and if people are being honest with me about my content…then shouldn’t I be further along?

    Blogging my way

    I’m nowhere. I’m nobody. I’m a woman behind a computer screen giving away bits of my soul but maybe that’s not enough. Maybe I’m not confident enough or maybe I’m overconfident. Who knows? Blogging is a field that is a mystery cloaked in secrecy and hidden by competition, for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some AMAZING bloggers who have given me great advice. Genuinely wonderful women who freely answer any and all of my countless questions about blogging, without them, I would be lost. You know who you are. I won’t name names for fear that your Twitter inboxs will blow up. But I need honesty. This is your chance, I want HONEST feedback. What do you really think about The TRUTH about Motherhood?

    Have you ever felt this way? Like everyone else has it figured out but you? Like everyone else is getting the opportunities but you? Like everyone else is doing it better than you are? I know that it takes hard work and that people earn their opportunities. I just want to know what I need to do to prove myself. Can’t wait to hear your feedback, criticisms and commiseration. What did you do to push past the plateau? Have you made the leap from blogger to published and paid writer? Any advice? I feel like I am becoming the Howard Hughes of blogging over here alone with my kookie ideas and reclusivity, minus the money… of course!

     Blogging; when’s enough , enough?

  • #BBCCHI~I went to Bloggy Boot Camp Chicago and All I got was Everything

    #BBCCHI~I went to Bloggy Boot Camp Chicago and All I got was Everything

    This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending Bloggy Boot Camp in Chicago. I was really excited to go but then when Friday afternoon came around, I was a little nervous about leaving the girls for the weekend. Granted, I was leaving them with their father, my husband of 12 years, and their grandparents but it’s been just the 3 of us 24/7 for the past year and a half. I’ve only left them over night once, for less than 24 hours. It was hard. This was harder.

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    Bloggy Boot Camp, www.motherhoodthetruth.com
    Who could leave these two cuties in good conscience?

    As I kissed their little faces and they hugged my neck, like it was the last time they’d ever see me, my heart began to break and my eyes began to fill with tears. We parted ways at the school. I drove in one direction. The Big Guy and my girls drove in the opposite. I’m not going to lie, it took everything in my being to not turn around.I drove slowly, my head spinning with things that I needed to call and tell my husband and I cried silently beneath my giant sunglasses. I called my husband to remind him to be patient and kind in my absence; to be understanding and extra attentive. I reminded him to make sure they ate fruits and vegetables with their meals ( I wouldn’t want them to develop a case of scurvy while I was gone, would I?). I reminded him to kiss them goodnight for me and tell them that I love them ( I wouldn’t want them to forget how very much they meant to me, would I?) I told him to make sure they did something fun together and to make sure that they didn’t miss me too much. ( Or was I afraid they would miss me too little?) My husband “yes, yes”d me and assured me that they would all be alive and well when I returned. I was satisfied…sorta. Until my 4 year old Skyped me late that night to watch her cry herself to sleep.Saddest.Thing.EVER!

    Bloggy Boot Camp Here I Come

    Saturday, I headed into the city. I was a little nervous because I wasn’t sure what to expect and it was my very first blogging conference. Almost immediately, I spotted a friendly face in Alexandra  @GDRPEmpress who, by the way, is as kind and gracious in person as she is on Twitter. It’s not a persona, she is the real deal genuine article. We exchanged hugs and sighs of relief. She then introduced me to Tracy @Chimomwriter who is not only a talented writer, but is friendly, kind and felt like an old friend after only a few minutes of talking to her. The sessions were great. I found comfort in the validation of the choices that I have made thus far with my blog, which is always fabulous to hear. I was also given a lot to think about as to where I wanted my blog to go, what I wanted my brand to be and who I am as a blogger. All in all, it was a wonderful conference put on by the @SITSGirls. I would recommend it to anyone who blogs. It’s intimate, professional and fosters networking and sharing of ideas. I could feel the sisterhood in the support. It was amazing. It all culminated in great conversation, crazy photo booth pics and a delicious wine tasting sponsored by Mirassou. Can I just say I LOVE their Pinot Grigio.

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    #BBCCHI,bloggy boot camp
    This is what it was all about..connecting with other women who share your bliss. L=@TruthfulMommy @ChimomWriter @GDRPempress R= @TruthfulMommy @(My lil sister) @TheNextMartha @GDRPEmpress @ChiMomWriter = A WHOLE LOT OF AWESOME BEING HAD BY ALL! XO

    Bloggy Boot Camp Rocked

    After all was said and done, I had left my girls with a heavy heart but thanks to Bloggy Boot Camp I had some much needed time to focus on me and I got to meet a lot of really wonderful, passionate women in the process. As I drove home on Sunday, I was in a hurry to hold my little girls in my arms. I made the three hour drive in about two and a half (Shhh, don’t tell my husband). I was greeted in the drive by two of the cutest little girls a Mommy could ever want ( in matching outfits, no less). As they screamed my name “MOMMY!!!” and ran to wrap their little arms around my neck and cover me in kisses, I knew the best part of going away was coming home.They led me into the house, where streamers and balloons were hung, a poster saying “Welgum Home MOME!”, my favorite dinner on the stove and a cake with a giant heart on it awaited me. The Big Guy gave me a kiss and although it was nice to have the quiet moments alone in Chicago, I wanted to marinate in the happy chaos that is my everyday.

    Bloggy Boot Camp Chicago #BBCCHI

     

    *This post property of The TRUTH about Motherhood[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Blog Plagiarism~How to prevent it,How to find it & How to STOP it!

    Blog Plagiarism~How to prevent it,How to find it & How to STOP it!

    Many of you are aware that over the past two weeks, I have experienced an onslaught of blog plagiarism. The plagiarists have been using my blog as their own personal idea bank. Some have stolen my mission, my title and now a direct copy of my post. Don’t these people know there is only one Truthful Mommy and one real The TRUTH about Motherhood and that’s me! Sunday, the plagiarist hack broke my bloggy back and I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my source for bloggy support, understanding and wisdom…Twitter and my readers.  It has to be said, social media can really rock your world in unexpected ways. Within minutes, many of you had sent me helpful sites, legal letters to demand that the infringer take down my material, letters to the plagiarist’s host and even the latest in plagiarism laws. You people amaze me so much that I feel I need to take all the great information that I received and share it to help my fellow bloggers from falling victim to such heinous crimes!

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    Blog plagiarism, plagiarism, internet plagiarism, research, plagiarized
    Photo Credit Chris Lamphear

    Prevent Plagiarism

    There is no way to truly prevent plagiarism. My blog is clearly marked with a copyright. I also have the BlogProtector plugin that doesn’t allow people to copy and paste my content. Though, obviously that doesn’t stop them from rewriting it verbatim on their own site. But as you all know, where there is a will there is always a way. I believe this in every aspect of my life and so why wouldn’t there be a way to get around this. These unscrupulous plagiarists see your challenge and raise you a cheap imitation or a verbatim copy. Scoundrels, they obviously have no talent of their own to speak of so they set to stealing the intellectual property of those of us who do. The best thing you can do is be proactive, become familiar with the Copyright Act and register your blog/trademark title with the United States Copyright office. As a blogger, it would be particularly beneficial to be familiar with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).

    How to know if you’re a victim of Plagiarism

    There are a whole slew of Wordpress plugins available to help keep you informed as to whether or not you are being plagiarized. There are different software programs available that can check to see if copy is redundant on the internet and in effect let you know if your intellectual property is being used by someone else. A couple free plagiarism checker sites that I found were www.Copyscape.com , Google Alerts and www.Duplichecker.com. You can also purchase Plagiarism Detector software, which I hear is good but I have not personally tried it ( obviously) but would like to have something that could tell me in real time when someone has copied my content rather than stumbling onto it or having it ping-back because the moron plagiarist copied it with an internal link to one of your older posts ( mental midget). Which actually could be a low cost way to catch thieves, internal links to your older posts WILL ping-back and you will catch the perpetrator.So check your spam comments. If you want to do it the hard way, you can always individually Google common phrases in your posts and it will lead you to any duplicates.

    How to Stop Plagiarism

    Well, personally, I’d love to stop a plagiarist by stringing them up and beating them like a pinata ( but you already knew that, right?) Since we can’t do that, here are a few things we can do to clean up the mess. Under DMCA ( I told you to familiarize yourself with it) you can issue an immediate take down notice.  This is good because under the law, the hosting ISP ( according to Black Star Rising, you can find the infringing Web site’s hosting ISP through a “who is” search at sites like Domain Tools or Whois.net) of the infringing plagiarist, while not liable for the plagiarism itself is responsible to remove the material from the site after proper notice has been given. An immediate take down notice would be this notice. For an excellent example of the take down notice check out Black Star Rising. You can also send a legal notice to the plagiarist and ask them to remove the copyrighted material and threaten legal action.

    This course of action was suggested by one of my readers ..

    “If you produce the content, you own it and deserve any and all commercial benefits deriving therefrom. (I’m writing a story on this for one of my clients right now so I’m all up to date and ready for a fight with content pirates.)

    If that ( the immediate take down notice) doesn’t work, you can always go their advertisers or ad syndication network to let them know that their ads are appearing on the site of a content pirate. That can make them skedaddle fast.

    You can also take the licensing approach as in: “Hey, how awesome that you are finding value in my content! I noticed we don’t have a license agreement in place so here’s one for you to sign, along with an invoice for $$$ for your use of my content.” Who knows, you may even get a new revenue stream out of it. “

    I think she is brilliant!

    Other courses of action? If you know of any other please let me know. And if you think this can help any of your blogger friends, please share it. I think most of us are pretty trusting and there is so little known about how to stop these plagiarists, we need to be armed with all the relevant information that we can get hold of. Thanks for all the help, support and advice. Do me a solid, if you see my work on anyone else’s site, let me know. I’ll bring the bat and we can all celebrate by taking whacks at that damn plagiarism pinata![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]