The TRUTH About Motherhood

Author: Deborah Cruz

How to be Happy this Valentine’s Day; No Date Needed
Happy Valentine’s Day!
This isn’t my usual gushy Valentine’s Day post that I write about the Big Guy. We are celebrating tomorrow night thanks to a couple of awesome grandparents who are keeping the girls overnight. I’m sure there’s a gushy post coming but this is not it. Nope today, I have been crazy busy with volunteer work, Halloween parties and making 60 homemade Valentine’s Day cards for my daughters’ classmates because obviously, Pinterest has ruined my children but this is how my day started. Which was the perfect way to start my day just because, he always knows the right thing to say. I Love this man so much. He loves me like no one else can. (**OK, that may have been a little bit gushy. Sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve been up to my eyeballs in hearts all day.) Then,over breakfast, the girls and I did a mass name signing to half made, homemade Valentine’s Day cards for their classes. We were under a time crunch for sure but I refused to let this steal my joy. We giggled and laughed through the whole hurried, chaotic ordeal. With only minutes to spare we loaded into the SUV and started our new morning ritual…listening to “Happy” by Pharrell from door to door. Yes, we dance all the way there. It’s impossible to be in a bad mood when listening to it. Seriously, it’s not possible, especially not when you see the two people you love most in the world , in the rearview mirror, off the hook car dancing and singing at the top of their lungs, “Because.I’m.Happy!!!
I dropped them off but had to come right back for 4 hours of volunteer work at the school. I was in desperate need of coffee, if I was going to keep up my new found “Happy” attitude. So I headed to Starbucks, courtesy of a surprise “Just because” gift card I received. Those are always awesome! I ordered my coffee. I was so excited for Starbucks because I have cut way back on my Starbucks consumption. I, honestly, don’t remember the last time I bought one. I get to the window to pay with my gift card in hand and the happiest barista I’ve ever met tells me to enjoy my Valentine’s Day because the woman in front of me paid for my coffee. I was so stunned by an actual random act of kindness, because I’ve never been the recipient end, that I forgot to pay for the person behind me but I will rectify that on my next visit. What is it about pay it forward Starbucks that makes it taste so damn good? YUMMMM!@ I went to school in such a great mood and did my volunteer work with a giant smile and a happy attitude. I was passing out compliments and smiles like they were condoms at a frat party. I was giving them to everybody I made eye contact with. Not even cutting out and addressing 60 handmade cards and running a class party on a skeleton crew. Then this happened. My 3rd Grader repurposed one of her homemade Valentine’s Day cards to say “If parents were flowers….I’d pick you!” while her sister gave me an “I LOVE YOU!” eraser and then there was the homemade “Owl be Your Valentine!” Swoon. Damn, I am happy. My house is dirty, my hair is in a ponytail, the laundry needs to be folded but I am loved and really, when you’ve got these many people who love you so damn much…. what else do you need? Now, go commit obscene amounts of random acts of kindness and make someone smile because believe me, that simple act can change someone’s entire day. So, I hope your Valentine’s Day is filled with love and every day after that too. Now, go get Happy!
Happy Valentine’s Day!

2014/02/14
Ladies, If You Don’t Want to Get Raped then Stop Getting Shit faced!
Did you know that date rape is just a figment of womens’ imaginations? Apparently, the Wall Street Journal’s, James Taranto, is still fighting the good fight in the “war on men”. Taranto feels that the world is on a rampage to criminalize male sexuality. And it seems that Mr. Taranto has found an unlikely ally in Whoopi Goldberg.
James Taranto wrote an article earlier this week titled Drunkenness and Doublestandards in which he compared rape to a drunk driving collision.
What is called the problem of “sexual assault” on campus is in large part a problem of reckless alcohol consumption, by men and women alike. (Based on our reporting, the same is true in the military, at least in the enlisted and company-grade officer ranks.)

Which points to a limitation of the drunk-driving analogy. If two drunk drivers are in a collision, one doesn’t determine fault on the basis of demographic details such as each driver’s sex. But when two drunken college students “collide,” the male one is almost always presumed to be at fault. His diminished capacity owing to alcohol is not a mitigating factor, but her diminished capacity is an aggravating factor for him.
Whoopi Goldberg apparently agrees because her response to the article was,
“if you don’t want this kind of attention, don’t get poop-faced. Do not get poop-faced. Do not become so drunk you don’t know what is happening.”
Way to go Whoopi! Nothing like placing the blame on the victims of date rape on national television. That’s a classy move. What’s next? Will she be standing shoulder to shoulder with Woody Allen as they cast disparaging remarks and throw stones at Dylan Farrow for being too damn milk drunk at age 7?
Look, I’ve read Mr. Taranto’s articles and this man is ridiculous to think that the men of the world need protection from the women. It’s a man’s world. It always has been. The vaginas are just living it. We have to fight tooth and nail just to be considered equal and we are still fighting to keep politicians out of our reproductive business. He quotes state troopers to support his theory,
“For the most part, they’re boys who had too much to drink and have done something stupid. When we show up to question them, you can see the terror in their eyes.”
As if that’s an excuse. They are filled with terror because they have been caught, not because they are sorry that they forced themselves on a woman in an act of rape. I wonder if the terror in their eyes looks anything like the terror in their victim’s eyes that were too drunk to fight off their rapist’s advances. Because, hey Whoopi, even when men and women are stone cold sober, pushing a man off you is a difficult task. Most men are stronger than most women, that is a fucking fact.
Taranto even goes so far to support a theory that suggests that bystanders should take culpability and intervene in all potential rape situations by “spilling a drink on the guy, turning on a light turning off the music or grabbing the perpetrator in a conga line to divert his attention.” Of course, if anyone sees a rape in process they should try to stop it but he makes it seem like college men are toddlers who need to be protected from themselves by others. No, I don’t think so. Having a dick doesn’t make you disabled.
What the Fuck? So obviously, according to Taranto, men rape because no one stops them and women drink. According to Whoopi Goldberg, if a woman doesn’t want to get raped she should just not drink so damn much. So, is it only rape if the victim can pass a breathalyzer test? Why not just take a bat to the assholes head if you catch him trying to force himself on a woman, any woman…”shit faced” or not.
Hey, Whoopi, we don’t blame victims for being raped. It doesn’t matter if she was shit faced, she needed a second haircut to wear her skirt, her lips were red and her tits were being served up like Sunday dinner. Will she attract negative attention? Probably. Does she deserve to be raped? NO!
Should women and men control their alcohol consumption? Yes. Reckless alcohol consumption can land you in compromising situations. You might wake up wondering what the hell you did the night before. You might be remorseful. But there is a universal rule that we all know and accept, men need expressed consent to have sexual intercourse with women. If no consent is given, it’s sexual assault. If a woman says, No, I don’t want to, I don’t fell like it, I have a headache, take me home or is not coherent or capable enough to say “yeah baby, let’s do it”, then do not pass go. Get up, go to the bathroom and take care of yourself or go home but do not put your penis in the vagina or you may face rape charges. Men know this. This is not new information.
Whoopi and Mr. Taranto you keep fighting the good fight to stand up against the “war on men”. Me, I’ll be over here standing up for all the shitfaced victims that you don’t think are really victims. I’ll be fighting in the real war, the war on women.
Rape is rape, assholes!
2014/02/13
Shhhh, I’ve Got a Secret
I am thrilled to announce that I have partnered with Lionlock as a brand ambassador.
This makes me happy because not only do I get to share my love of a great and very useful product with you but they even pay me to do it. What? It’s like getting paid to eat chocolate without the calories.
I know many of you, like me, work, play and live online and for security reasons you probably have 25 different passwords. Me, I have so many passwords that I have passwords scribbled all over the place in my office in notebooks, on napkins, up my arm and none of it is really effective because if I misplace the password source, I have to try seemingly endless combinations of letters and numbers, some with capitalization and one even requires a “symbol”. What? Yeah, that account may be lost to me forever. It’s like when you hide all the scissors in the house from the kids only to realize you can never find them again. Yes, just like that and my mommy brain apparently doesn’t remember where I hide scissors, passwords or locker combinations.
So you are probably wondering what is this Lionlock she is rambling on about?
Lionlock is a password management tool for small businesses, teams and parents who live their lives online and honestly, these days, who doesn’t? LionLock can securely store all kinds of protected information, including but not limited to passwords, website logins, bank accounts and credit card details. They refer to this information as “secrets” because it should be protected. Each account or password is it’s own separate secret. For example, your bank account information is one secret. Your 7 CMS logins are each their own secrets. Your five email account passwords are each their own secret. Now, unfortunately, Lionlock can’t help you at all with those misplaced scissors.
LionLock encrypts and stores all of your Secrets using AES-256 which is the same level of encryption the government uses for Top Secret documents. It’s like having your own personal secret service trained ninja assistant who keeps all of your online secrets in “the vault”. Only Lionlock’s vault can’t be plied open with vodka.
Lionlock’s vault stores all your information in one secure place that you can access from your work computer, home computer or any of your mobile devices. This is great for small businesses because a staggering 60% of small businesses suffer a cyber attack or major data loss in the first six months of operations. But it’s also great for me because when my mommy brain fails me, I know that my Lionlock account wont!
If you want to share your secrets with team members or your husband, you can decide to grant them access. If you change your mind, access denied. Change your Lionlock access password and that’s it. You only have to change one password. It’s that simple.
I am very excited about having the Lionlock password management tool in my online arsenal and getting to work as an ambassador for a product that I genuinely think is awesome. I think it’s perfect for everyone who has multiple accounts online.
Now that I’ve told you all about Lionlock, I’d love to invite you to our #Lionlock Twitter Party on Tuesday, February 25th at 6:00 PM PST/ 9:00 PM EST! We’ll be giving away prizes and having great conversation.
**Lionlock Twitter Party Alert**
WHAT: #Lionlock Twitter Party
WHEN: TUESDAY, February 25TH, 2014 FROM 6-7 PM PST/ 9-10 EST
HASHTAG TO USE WHEN TWEETING IT UP: #Lionlock
WHO TO FOLLOW: @TRUTHFULMOMMY @Lizz_Porter AND @LIONLOCKDC (SPONSOR) >
PRIZES: Four $25 Visa Gift Cards and one grand prize $50 Visa Gift Card
RSVP: PLEASE RSVP BELOW.
Join in the #Lionlock party for fun conversation and a chance to win some great prizes!
Please RSVP with your twitter name and link to qualify for a chance to win prizes during the #LIONLOCK Twitter Party.

Photo Credit: Ellen von Unwerth
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own.
2014/02/12
Selfies, Sleeping Babies & the Decline of Civilization
Selfies, photos of babies and babies with pets have officially over saturated social media.
I know this post will probably not get me any friends and I am honestly not trying to be an asshole. I am a sucker for a cute baby photo as much as the next person but honestly, is anyone else getting tired of seeing babies (other than their own) sleeping? I currently have over 100,000 photos that I have taken of my girls since they were born. I took them for my own enjoyment. Sure they are adorable but you don’t want to see every photo of my daughters, every moment captured. I mean its babies in baskets, babies with puppies, babies with daddies, babies with other babies and babies as part of art while they sleep. Babies with painted on mustaches, wearing fedoras and roller skates. Gatsby baby sipping an old fashioned and astronaut baby planting a flag on the moon while baby Mike Tyson and baby Evander Holyfield chew on one another’s ears.
When my kids are asleep, especially when they were asleep as babies, there was no way in the world I was going to be using them as props with animals or amidst the backdrop of a cityscape or flying through space or taming a lion or whatever the hell else they are doing these days. Also, where are you guys finding the time?
The more I look at these adorable photos done by Sioin Queenie Liao, I am reconsidering babies as art because OMG, my ovaries are twitching from the cute
Are these only children? Do you have a nanny? Is this your job? When my kids were babies and slept, I let them sleep because an overtired baby or child woken out of a nap before it ran its course was certainly not worth a photo op! My sanity is worth more than a potentially viral photo op. I always let sleeping babies lie.Sure, I think the photos are awesome but I don’t want to see every.single.one. you take. When did this happen? Do we keep nothing for ourselves anymore?
And the selfies? Holy fuck am I sick of the close up, Zoolander faces, #nakedselfies in the shower, at the gym, in the bathroom, in the ER getting stitches, giving birth breastfeeding and ass wiping. Is there nothing sacred anymore? Look I enjoy a good fly on the wall moment as much as everybody else too but suddenly, it’s just too damned much. People, pump your social media brakes. You’re telling us all too much. If a picture’s worth a thousand words than you just told me what a raging douche bag you are, in 15 languages, 67 different ways.
Credit: Instagram & Danielle Lloyd
Selfies have their place. We’ve all taken them. Hell, as moms we are the photographers in most cases so, sure, we have to slip a selfie in here and there just to commemorate that we are here. That we lived. That’s fine. I’ve taken selfies. We all need avatar photos for FB and Twitter, etc but for grown ups to be taking selfies every day or in some cases multiple times a day, you might have an addiction. Take as many selfies as you want for your private collection but I don’t think the entire world needs to see you chew your food, kiss your kid’s booboo, your outfit of the hour or how your eye make-up looks and we certainly don’t need to see you in the shower with your baby, your backside or your stomach after eating; those are moments that you should keep and cherish for yourself. Nobody needs to see your post-coital selfie unless you are a hooker for hire.
Looks like just like with food, we all need to learn some social media selfie portion control; everything in moderation my friends. Take as many selfies and kitschy, cute and creative photos of your children and your pets as you like but how about we exercise some self-control and and only upload a chosen few to FB and Twitter. If you must photo dump to satiate some need to document every image, why not keep it to Instagram?
P.S. NONE of this applies to newborns. Bring on the newborn photos, I can look at them all day:) Just don’t pair them with the family pet or use them as a prop in an elaborate creative purge every hour on the hour.
What are your thoughts of this time we live in of constant selfies, sleeping babies and their exciting lives with their pets?

Photo credit: If you can’t get enough of these cute kid photos, check out Sioin Queenie Liao slideshow on Today Moms bit I’ll never budge on selfies.
2014/02/11
Who are the Real Moms & Who are the Online Imposters?
Something bizarre happened this weekend, someone pretended to be me; leaving me to wonder who the real moms online are and who are the online imposters?
This is the first time I’ve ever been aware of anyone doing this where I was involved. Someone pretended to be me online. I don’t mean they copied my posts and swiped my words, it went beyond that. Unfortunately, I have become used to the plagiarism after 5 years of blogging and I’ve learned how to stop it. I’ve never had someone actually try to pass themselves off as me…the person.
It was brought to my attention that someone had actually created a fake account using my name and photo. I have an imposter pretending to be me online. Imagine my surprise when I see a comment supposedly left by me, only it wasn’t. I do not like being forced to take responsibility for words that I didn’t actually write. God knows that I write enough things to get me in trouble all on my own. Anyways, it left me feeling decidedly vulnerable and violated. Someone had invaded my privacy on a very personal level. It made me begin to question everything.
I’ve put a lot of trust in you, Internet. I know that you are not infallible. I forget that the Internet is not just filled with a whole bunch of moms reaching out for friendship and support. The Internet is full of weirdos; pedophiles, imposters and single white females just waiting for the chance to prey on some poor unsuspecting schmuck. Do we really know anyone?
I feel like from now on, every time I write I should be asking myself Who are the real “moms” & who are the online imposters?
Who are harmless crazy cat ladies sitting in their one room apartments playing with their 10 Reborn baby dolls? Who are the 300-pound, balding perverts who live in their mom’s basement and touch themselves while reading about your children losing a tooth or crying from a booboo? Who are the single white females who sit in their home alone reading about every detail of your pregnancy while doing a little legwork and soon knows where you live and when your baby is due? The crazy lady who wants a baby so badly that she’s willing to befriend you and then cut you open like a fish and take your baby?
We never know who we are talking to; in person or in real life. The guy you worked with at Arby’s could turn out to be a pedophile 20 years later. The guy you went to prom with could secretly dress up like a woman and write erotica. The mom you’ve been sharing every detail about your life with online could really be some man in Brooklyn who has no kids and gets his rocks off reading about yours.
This past weekend has left me with two thoughts; people are really bat shit crazy. I don’t mean crazy like you and I and in need of some sleep and Xanax. I mean off the reserve, scary and dangerous crazy. People who pretend to be others online are creepy on a very deep level. Two, I don’t know if this space is really one that I want to be a part of anymore.
I used to be so naïve and I thought people who wrote about rainbows and unicorns all the time were trying to hide something out of a need to protect themselves from criticism but now, I realize that the lack of transparency was probably born out of an innate need to protect themselves from actual crazy people who can steal every detail of your life and make it their own but I don’t know if I can blog in any other way than with complete openness. One imposter has lied so much that she has convinced herself that the person whose life she’s stolen is the imposter and she will fight anyone who says otherwise. I find that to be very frightening because obviously the lines between fantasy and reality have been blurred so badly that she no longer recognizes which is which.
When I think of the personal stories and photos that I have shared on this blog, it makes me cringe to think what could be done with all of it in the wrong hands. It’s also made me reassess what I want this space to be. I’m not sure the pros outweigh the cons anymore. I just want to write and connect with other moms. I am nobody special, the other bloggers who have had imposter accounts made in their names and my friend who is literally having someone steal her life, we are just moms trying to connect to one another and somewhere in all of that, we’ve let an imposter infiltrate our community but what is the alternative? From behind the screen, do any of us really know who the online imposters are or who we are really talking to?
Can you tell the difference between the online imposters and the “real” moms online?
2014/02/10
Just Add Disney
To make my girls happy is easy, just add Disney.February is halfway done and I can feel March coming a little too quickly. My daughter is turning 9. 9!! I’ve been really busy trying to plan a great surprise destination spring break for the girls but I don’t want to sweep the birthday under the rug, even though it is just 2 short weeks before spring break. I want it to be special but not outrageously priced. Bella is completely happy with a small party. She’s had extravagant parties every year since she was born. She had asked to take a few of her girlfriends bowling and out for pizza and we were perfectly happy to do that but now life has presented us with a theme; Disney!
It just so happens that Bella has only asked for two things for her birthday; American Girl of the year, Isabelle, and the Disney Pocahontas dress up outfit. The surprise spring break destination is Disney World. Shhhh! Don’t tell the girls. I was also selected to host a Disney Side party, which the girls are thrilled about sharing with their friends and today, I partnered with Feld Entertainment and Disney On Ice and I will be taking the girls to see Disney On Ice Princesses and Heroes!
It’s all the breathtaking ice-skating of Disney on Ice with all the princesses and heroes that my little girls love so much. Not just one or two of the princesses but all of our favorites, Ariel as she yearns to explore the world above the waves and Prince Eric breaks Ursula’s slithering spell to reclaim his one true love. See Prince Philip defeat the evil Maleficent as she transforms herself into a fire-breathing dragon in a race against time to rescue Sleeping Beauty’sAurora. Be there to discover a whole new world with Jasmine and Aladdin. And, watch in awe as the dreams of Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, Rapunzel and Tiana
Our spring is most definitely themed by Disney and I can’t wait to give my girls all these little Disney surprises. They have no idea any of this is in the works, with the exception of the #DisneySide party. I can’t wait to see their faces.
You can get your own tickets for a discounted price of $3 off all performances except opening night by going here and using the promo code MICKEY.

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post but I am being provided tickets to the show for review purposes.
2014/02/07
In Honor of the 2014 Sochi Olympics
The Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics started last night and I couldn’t think of a better way to commemorate the event than by sharing this amazing video of 1000’s of Kentucky State High School Choir singers singing the American Anthem on the Balcony of the Hyatt Louisville. I only wish I could have seen it in person. As it is, my heart swelled with patriotism and for a few short minutes I forgot about all the bad in the world this week. This is super cool.
In case you missed it earlier this week, I tackled the #SpeakAmerican debacle. If you are in the mood for something less controversial, I gave you the low down on how to make some mommy friends ( because Lord knows, we all need them) and if you want a giggle ( because we all do) I wrote about Old Wives Tales of Pregnancy like wearing red panties during an eclipse to protect your unborn baby or if you are in the mood for a good cry, I wrote this about loss on HuffPo.
2014/02/07
What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Can you believe it? Only 9 more days until the world explodes with expressions and overt gestures of love. Oh, I love LOVE.
When I was in my early 20’s Valentine’s Day was all about having a guy to shower me with some gift that I could show off to my girlfriends to show that “he loves me! HE really loves me!” ( because obviously, you know, i was too young and dumb to know what that even meant.) I know because he bought me this (insert cheesy item) 75% of piece of jewelry, bouquet of roses ( which I detest and remind me of a funeral), took me out to dinner, brought me a bouquet of Twizzlers, sent me cheap chocolates or bought cheap Champagne, even cheaper lingerie and tore up some of the cheap roses he bought me all over the bed. Yes, those are the things that impress you when you are 21/22-years-old. It was more about the show of showering me with love than the actual act of loving me because at 21, what did any of us know about real, true to God, honest, unconditional love? Not much. Not me anyways. Then I grew up.
Now, Valentine’s Day is not about things because there is nothing that can replace the unconditional love and support that I have received from the Big Guy all these 17 years. We have grown up together. We have built a family. Built a life. He is my home and my soft place to land when the world has beaten me to a bloody pulp and I am his. He has given me everything I never knew I always wanted and he has made me a better person, just by loving me so damn deeply and unconditionally. He’s made me not afraid to try because I know if I fail, he will be there to love me harder for having tried.He knows that I love him even when I want the rest of the world to fall away.
What women really want for Valentine’s Day
As you can see by this infographic, most women don’t want roses, flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Roses and flowers wither and die. Once you eat chocolates they are gone. What most of us want it not to be told that you love us on Valentine’s Day but to be shown that you love us every single day of our lives. Love is something a person wants to feel; to know. It doesn’t need to be shouted from the highest mountain top, it only needs to be whispered with sincerity into our ear; to be felt in your embrace or your kiss.
The best give my husband has ever given me, aside from his unconditional love, our children and a certain diamond ring, is the one he gives me every Mother’s Day and Valentine’s day, a day off of life; a day of relaxation with no responsibilities. It sounds simple, I know but by him taking responsibility off my shoulders is more than just a day to relax and indulge in pampering myself, it is about acknowledging that he loves me enough to pay attention to what I really need; time to myself to just be.
Sometimes relaxing is watching a movie in bed with no interruptions, taking a hot bubble bath with the door locked or escaping and unwinding by creating a real pamper session at home with indulgent body care or foot care products by myself. Just knowing that I have the freedom and time to do those things that I took for granted before I had children is now a luxury.
The thing I want most this Valentine’s Day is to spend it with my husband, just being a couple. I know he loves me, every day of the year, but I’d like to spend this Valentine’s Day by sending the girls to spend the night at Grandma’s house, spending some time pampering myself, giving the Big Guy time to do something he enjoys before having a quiet, grown up dinner together and at the end of the day just falling into the arms of the man I love and talking about nothing and everything without interruption. That sounds like the perfect Valentine’s Day to me.
What is your idea of the perfect Valentine’s Day?

Disclosure: The infographic about what Women really want for Valentine’s Day was provided as part of a brand collaboration.

2014/02/05
Love Your Body the Way Your Mother Loved Your Baby Feet
Love your body is the message that we must teach our daughters.
Love your body like your mother loved your baby feet. I had something else planned to write about today but then I listened to one of my favorite songs by Mary Lambert, Body Love. It spoke to me and, if you are a woman, it will probably speak to you too. If you are a man, it can give you some insight into a woman’s mind, especially one who finds herself to be perpetually imperfect. Like so many of us do. I want to teach my girls to love themselves as much as I loved their baby feet and that they are worth more than the size of their ass or what lies between their legs or what they look like or a number on a scale. You.Are.Beautiful!
i know girls who are trying to fit into the social norm
like squeezing into last year’s prom dress
i know girls who are low rise, mac eyeshadow, and binge drinking
i know girls that wonder if they’re a disaster and sexy enough to fit in
i know girls who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin,
playing russian roulette with death
it’s never easy to accept that our bodies are fallible and flawed
but when do we draw the line?
when the knife hits the skin?
isn’t it the same thing as purging
because we’re so obsessed with death?
some women just have more guts than others
the funny thing is women like us don’t shoot
we swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue
still proceeding to put on make-up
still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive
we might as well be buried with our shoes and handbags and scarves,
girls
we flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark into our skin
i know how to split my wrists like a battlefield too,
but the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies

our bodies deserve more than to be war-torn and collateral
offering this fuckdom as a pathetic means to say,
“i only know how to exist when i’m wanted!”
girls like us are hardly ever wanted, you know?
we’re used up and we’re sad
and drunk and perpetually waiting by the phone
for someone to pick up and tell us that we did good
well, you did good
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
my body is home
my body is home
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
so try this:
take your hands over your bumpy lovebody naked
and remember the first time you touched someone
with the sole purpose of learning all of them,
touched them because the light was pretty on them
and the dust in the sunlight danced the way your heart did

touch yourself with a purpose
your body is the most beautiful royal
fathers and uncles are not claiming your knife anymore
are not your razor, no,
put the sharpness back
lay your hands flat and feel the surface of scarred skin
i once touched a tree with charred limbs
the stump was still breathing but the tops were just ashy remains
i wonder what it’s like to come back from that
because sometimes i feel forest fires erupting from my wrists
and the smoke signals sent out are the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen

love your body the way your mother loved your baby feet
and brother arm-wrapping shoulders, and remember, this is important:
you are worth more than who you fuck
you are worth more than a waistline
you are worth more than beer bottles displayed like drunken artifacts
you are worth more than any naked body could proclaim in the shadows
more than a man’s whim
or your father’s mistake
you are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4
you are no less valuable as a 32a than a 36c
your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood,
it is wisdom
you are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out,
reborn
I am not here yet. But I want to be.
Do you love your body?
2014/02/04
Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl Ad Brings out the Ugly in America
If you were honestly offended by the Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad, do us both a favor and unfriend or unfollow me now. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
I don’t get it. Anyone offended by a commercial conveying the idea of our America as a melting pot of many different cultures, races and religions, is offended by my very existence so do us both a favor and take your racism and bigotry and go away. I don’t want you here.
When I saw the Coke commercial I thought it was beautiful for a couple different reasons. One, it was reminiscent of the Hilltop Coke commercial I grew up watching and two; it shows the United States as a Utopia where everyone lives in peace, harmony and unity; bound by love and acceptance.
The hilltop Coke commercial was the one with all the young people on a hilltop in Italy singing about furnishing the world with love and buying one another a Coke. It was beautiful. It was about togetherness and acceptance and world peace and free love and oh, yeah, Coke. The commercial was all in English but the people were distinctly different from all over the world. I don’t remember the survivalists and Aryan nation being up in arms then.
This year’s Coke Super Bowl ad was the exact same thing 43 years later. You’d think evolution would have made this commercial less controversial. Coca-Cola is an international product. The United States is a melting pot of many different races, religions and cultures. We are a country of tolerance. Unfortunately, Coke overestimated the American people because apparently we are not beautiful at all. After last night’s reaction to America the Beautiful, in fact, I would say we are downright ugly.
I am a product of that melting pot. I am Mexican, Spanish, English, French, Italian, Irish and Cherokee. I am proud to be all those things. I am proud to be a part of a country that allowed this to happen. I am proud to be able to experience the entire world from my home state of Indiana. I love experiencing different cultures and people. I like being able to introduce my daughters to different people and cultures, races, religions, languages and foods. Isn’t that what makes this country great? Who wants to live in a vanilla world?
Last night’s commercial was world peace. What every single fucking Miss America has wished for since the beginning of Miss America. It was evolution through tolerance; it was a better world than reality allows for…apparently. I am appalled at the social media attack on the Coke commercial and if you were part of it, quite frankly, we can’t be friends because I have apparently, evolved past where you are or may ever get to be.
The Coca-Cola commercial was a testament to the tolerance and beauty of the United States and anyone who is against that or too stupid to understand that the United States is made up of more than just Anglo-Americans, maybe Coke should rethink their opinion of Americans not the other way around.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, unless you are a Native American…you too are a foreigner. English is not the language of the original natives, but you don’t hear me complaining about you. I’d like to buy the world a Coke and a smile because life is too short for all this hatred. Underneath it all, the color of our skin, the language we speak, the food we eat, the ethnicity we originated from, the God we worship, all that aside, we are all just humans trying to survive this world.
What did you think of the Coca-Cola America the Beautiful commercial?
2014/02/03