The TRUTH About Motherhood

Author: Deborah Cruz

Would You Go on a Game Show During Labor?
Disclosure: This is a compensated post written by me on behalf of TLC and Labor Games, however, all opinions and birth stories are my own.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking of my journey into motherhood. It probably has something to do with May 1^st just passing, my youngest just celebrating her first communion and about to turn 8-years-old in a couple of weeks and Mother’s Day. I’ve had babies on the brain and been a little nostalgic for that new baby smell. Quick someone have a baby and let me hold it. I’ll give it back, I promise. I just need a little something to take the edge off and soothe these twitchy ovaries.
Mother’s Day is right around the corner. There are lists everywhere for the perfect gift to get your mother whether she is high tech or high style but what about the brand new mother? I’m talking the mother who is giving birth? Sure push presents are nice but what if you could earn cash, prizes and all things new baby to help you ease into motherhood just by answering a few questions during labor? Would you do it? Well, there is a brand new game show on TLC premiering tomorrow, May 6, at 10 p.m. EST called, Labor Games.
The premise of the game show is that the host and a small crew show up right in the middle of your labor (during the height of it) to ask you questions and if you answer correctly, you can win prizes and cash including a $10,000 college scholarship for your new baby. Sounds intriguing, right?
I won’t lie; I spent most of the day of both my inducements bored silly. In fact, I remember specifically watching Jerry Springer and rolling my eyes in complete boredom right before all the real fun began in my first labor. When I say fun that would be referring to my completely unmedicated transition labor that came on fast and furious and hit me like a freight train.
The same labor caused me to consider jumping out of the window to stop the pain and left me looking akin to Linda Blair in The Exorcist. You know how some people ugly cry? Well, I am supremely ugly when in labor. My face tells the whole story and from the video, it was a scary trip.
For some reason, I kept refusing to use my breathing techniques, as if I was going to develop an immunity to them or use them all up. On my first labor, knowing nothing about what was going to happen, I refused to get an epidural until I was in full transition labor but by the time the anesthesiologist could get out of surgery and to me, I was fully dilated. From centimeters 7-10, you would not have wanted to ask me any questions because all of the answers would have been the same and they wouldn’t have been appropriate for polite society to hear.
But those first 7 hours of my labor, I would have definitely welcomed the opportunity for some entertainment and some cash because babies cost a lot of money. Of course, we’ll never know because I will not be having any more babies but how much fun will it be to watch this game show, right?
I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see how this all plays out. I’ll be watching. Will you?
Labor Games Sneak Peek Weds 5/6 10p/9c on TLC.
2015/05/05
The Ultimate Buddig Monte Cristo Recipe
You know how they say if you love something put a ring on it? Well, if you love a sandwich you should make a recipe and enter it into the Buddig taste Challenge.
Have you ever eaten something that from the first moment you put it into your mouth, you knew it would be an instant favorite? That is how I feel about the Monte Cristo sandwich. Have you ever had one? They are delicious.
I know it’s a weird combination to deep-fry a ham and turkey sandwich and then dip it in jam but it works and it better than works; it’s an amazing burst of warm, gooey, comforting goodness. It’s like a hug from your mother. In fact, the recipe that I came up with reminds me of my mother’s famous grilled cheese.
I don’t know how she does it or what makes it so good but it tastes better than any other grilled cheese I’ve ever had, ever. I think it has something with the love that is used when she makes it. At least that is what I am telling myself.
My favorite sandwich is the Monte Cristo. It was one of those sandwiches that I never would have thought to eat. In fact, until I saw it on a menu, I had never even heard of it.
Yes, deep-fried everything is awesome but there is something special about this sandwich and I loved it so much that I put my own spin on it and made it even better, I think. I kicked up the sweet and amplified the savory with robust cheeses and hearty Buddig meats.
This is the recipe for 1 sandwich but I quarter it and split with between my girls. It is definitely a 2-person sandwich.
Ingredients:
3 slices of sturdy white bread
3 slices of Buddig Smoked Ham
3 slices of Buddig Oven Roasted Turkey Breasts
1 Slice of thick sliced sharp cheddar cheese
1 slice of thick sliced Swiss cheese
Batter:
1 egg
1-cup whole milk
½ teaspoon of salt
¼ teaspoon of nutmeg
1 teaspoon of brown sugar
1 ¼ cup of all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
Vegetable oil
Powdered Sugar
Raspberry Preserves, strawberry or red currant jam.
Instructions for prepping the Sandwich:
1. Take one piece of bread, place turkey slices and Swiss cheese.
2. Then add another piece of bread.
3. Add ham and cheddar cheese.
4. Add last piece of bread.
5. Wrap tightly in saran wrap and place in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
Instructions to make batter:
1. Beat egg in a bowl.
2. Add milk and blend.
3. Add salt, brown sugar, flour, nutmeg and baking powder.
4. Blend all ingredients until completely smooth.
Instructions to complete Monte Cristo:
- Heat vegetable oil in deep fryer or skillet until 180 degrees Celsius.
- Gently remove sandwich from saran wrap.
- Gingerly dip sandwich into the batter mixture being careful to cover all the sides and surface area of the sandwich but not over soaking it.
- Gently battered sandwich into hot oil and fry until golden brown.
- Remove from hot oil and place on a rack to cool for a couple minutes.
- Quarter the sandwich and then dust with powdered sugar.
- Serve with Raspberry preserves, Strawberry or red currant jam for dipping.
I think this sandwich is amazing and I hope you will give it a try and let me know what you think. I’m one of 8 bloggers entered in the Buddig Taste Challenge, I would love it if you liked the recipe if you would vote for me. Simply go here click through until you see Deborah Cruz and give me a vote, if you want. I’d appreciate it.
You can vote once per day through May 31^st. The grand prize is a $1,000 Gift Card and a meet & greet with the Buddig Family. Every 25^th voter will receive a Buddig $1.00 off coupon.
Disclosure: I was invited to enter the Buddig Taste challenge but the recipe and my love for the Monte Cristo is all my own.
2015/05/04
Black on the Inside

It just happened. I just drove past the parking lot of my OB/GYN on the way to take my oldest to get a “purple” tooth looked at. It seems innocuous enough but I’m reminded of the last time I let my mind believe that nothing was wrong. It almost shattered me.
The place where I went to my car, all alone, after seeing the ultrasound that showed my perfect baby’s heart no longer beating. It’s the parking lot where I lost all of my humanity and I roared and sobbed in such a primal way that I was unrecognizable as human. I died a little that day. Something like that changes you forever.
The same parking lot that faces the hospital where I had to go that terrible morning when it happened. The place where time and space were suspended so slowly that I could audibly hear my heart breaking. I remember the entire thing felt like a heavy fog. I remember being angry that this was happening to me. I remember mourning what was being taken. I remember sitting there, silently praying that I wouldn’t wake up. The pain was all consuming. It hurt to breathe and facing my 4-year-old who so badly wanted a younger sibling, the same one whose tiny heart ached congruent with mine,was too much to bear. I was a broken failure and I felt every bit of it.
I just passed that place and I found myself driving, once again on a beautiful spring day feeling removed from my body. I’m trying to hold it together because my 10-year-old is next to me, excited to be in the front seat on this rare occasion. She’s excited about everything. She has no idea that I’m dying, right here beside her. Pushing down feelings, swallowing lumps and afraid to blink…ever again .
Oh no, the lump is growing. I hope I can keep it hidden from her, from everyone.This week. I dread it every year. But I didn’t expect this. I had no intention of driving by this building today, or ever if possible. The only thing that could make this moment worse is if that damn Christina Perri song, A Thousand Years, started playing like it did in those wee hours of the morning 3 years ago as we drove in deafening silence to the hospital to have our baby removed from my body, extracted from our existence. I hate that fucking song now.
But I’m here now. Headed for the dentist office to inquire about a little girl’s purple tooth when all I want to do is go home and cry until all the tears are gone. But they’ll never be gone because they replenish anew, whenever they are needed.
All I want to do is cry. I feel small and overwhelmed and utterly alone. I do talk to the Big Guy when I feel these small hurts getting too big for me to keep inside. He tries to empathize but the truth is even though we both lost something that day, I am the one who lost a physical part of myself. I am the one whose body failed. I am the one who had the extraction. I am the one who can never forgive myself.
The truth is 3 years later, he knows that this day is hard especially for me but it doesn’t effect him in the same way it does me and that makes me reluctant to talk to him or anyone about it. I feel like I have to whisper it so that the words are out but no one hears because if they do, I’ll get the look you give a child whose dog died and they want to talk about it…again. You feel pity and sadness for their pain but inside you only wish they’d stop bringing it up because it makes you uncomfortable.
The hardest part aside from feeling so alone in all of this is that while today is the day I grieve, tomorrow is my daughter’s first communion and the next is my husband’s 40th birthday. All I want to do is crawl into bed and stay still, shut the world out but instead I have to push my feelings down, put on a smile and entertain all weekend. I have to be happy for the people I love the most, the day after I feel sad for the one I lost.
2015/05/01
Looking for a New Laptop?
Are you in the market for a new laptop? I am. Have you ever considered the new AMD FX APU-HP Envy Laptop?
As a blogger, I spend a majority of my day working on my laptop so I need one that is up for the challenge. I won’t lie; I am a known Apple devotee because you know what they say, “Once you go Mac, you never go back” but my needs are not necessarily the needs of the Big Guy or my girls.
I use my laptop for social media, blogging and editing photos. I’ve been living in Mac world for so long that everything else just feels awkward to me. Not saying that I would never change, I have an open mind.
My husband and the girls use the computer more for playing games, doing homework and watching YouTube videos, which makes them, prime candidates to use the new AMD FX APU-HP Envy Laptop. The HP Envy Laptop is for users who are passionate about technology and PC gaming because this laptop provides extreme performance of AMD’s most powerful mobile processer and delivers an exceptional Gaming and Entertainment experience.
The HP Envy TouchSmart 15.6” touch screen laptop makes multitasking a breeze so you can spend more quality time with your family creating memories. I like to use YouTube videos in the kitchen for easy to follow instructions because I need the visuals. My girls have a knack for coming in and switching it to a Meghan Trainor video for impromptu kitchen dance parties. The HP Envy would be perfect for that.
The Quick AMD FX series processor is great for streaming movies or videos and provides great video quality for gaming or catching up on your favorite Netflix series after the kids go to bed. Cuddle up with your favorite late night treat (your husband, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or both) and binge away.
When you are looking for a notebook, the AMD FX Special Edition APU will provide you with unbelievable performance, gaming, graphics and productivity. If you want a good laptop with top of the line graphics at an affordable price, the HP Envy TouchSmart would certainly be worth looking into.
When making your purchase at Best Buy free shipping is available on orders $35 and up and store pick-up is free. Also, you can pick up your order in as little as 45 minutes.
What’s the most important feature you look for when investing in a new laptop?
Disclaimer: The reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free but all opinions are my own.
2015/04/30
How to Save Money For the Things that Matter Most in Your Life
I was compensated with a payment by JG Media and Sprint to write this blog post. However, the views expressed in this post are my own.
Have you ever wished that your cellphone bill were cheaper? Daily, right? I know that I do. It’s not as bad as the cable bill but it’s pretty bad. I have loads of other things that I could be doing with that money, like paying off those grad school loans that I’ll probably being paying until I die. If you could cut your rate plan in half wouldn’t you?
I have kids so that means tuitions, ballet, cheer, soccer, violin, a mortgage and more organic, grass-fed groceries than I ever anticipated. It’s expensive being a parent. I’ve learned to live on a budget. When I think of what I pay for my cellphone, it feels indulgent and I feel guilty. It’s like I’m being hijacked and my connection to civilization is being held hostage by my cellphone provider. Don’t they know that my iPhone is my connection to the outside world?
If you handle a lot of money and need to count large amounts of money, the best option is to use a money counting machine to ensure that the amount is correct.
I love my service at my current provider but the bill is getting out of hand, like I could sponsor 6 or 7 kids a month through Save the Children outrageous. I’d love to find a way to still get great service without the hefty price tag. I won’t lie, I’ve considered switching providers several times. I’m just too busy to spend the hour on the phone or the face time checking out providers. I guess I’ve unwillingly conceded to pay.
Sprint is currently running a promotion that allows customers to easily and conveniently figure out financially if it’s worth the switch before you take the leap. There are three easy ways to find out how much you can save by switching to Sprint:
#1-If you are a Verizon or AT&T customer; there is a special promotion to cut your monthly wireless bill by switching to Sprint. Current AT&T and Verizon customers can upload their wireless bill online.
#2 Visit any Sprint store to find out how to cut your monthly wireless bill—and it’s easy to make an appointment on the website
#3 Call 866-866-7509!
It was so easy to find out how much I could save on my rate plan. I chose option #1, simply answered a couple questions, uploaded a pdf of my current bill and bada bing, bada bang they told me almost instantly that I can save $876 a year! That’s having my cake and eating it too. Plus, Sprint will pay all of the switching fees. I can still have the service I’ve become accustomed to but have that extra cash to put towards something fun for the family or maybe a spa weekend for myself.
Speaking of doing something nice for yourself, Mother’s Day is right around the corner and Sprint and JG Media are hosting a #CutYourBillSweeps Mother’s Day Sweepstakes. The grand prize is a $500 Amazon gift card. What would you do nice for yourself if you had an extra $500 to spend?
To enter the Mother’s Day sweepstakes simply post a picture or video on Twitter of what you would do with the money you would save by cutting your monthly rate plan. Use the hashtag #cutyourbillsweeps and include either the @Sprint or @Sprintlatino handles in the tweet.
The winner will be announced during a Twitter party next Wednesday, May 6^th, at 6pm pacific 9pm eastern. You don’t have to be there to win but it sure would be a lot more fun. Plus, 3 more $100 Amazon gift cards will be given away during the party to winning entrants of the #CutYourBillSweeps.
Hope to see you there. What are you waiting for? Go see how much you can save by switching to Sprint today!
Let Sprint show you how to save money for the things that matter most in your life.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2015/04/29
The Blogger Crisis
I’m Debi and I’m an old school blogger. I started blogging 6 years ago ( well, it will be on May 7th). I’ve seen blogging change a lot.
I’ve noticed a definite trend in blogging lately.I’m seeing blogger “midlife” (of the blog) crisis happening almost daily. Everything that is old is new again. Or at least this is what I’ve seen happening; quit blogging, start a new blog and then make a come back….when you never really left. I’m kind of missing the days of self contrived press releases about being lost in the dessert and rescued by your childhood boy scout leader.
I guess “quitting blogging” is a euphemism for “2 week hiatus” and “new blog” is what’s “on trend” these days. I’m not making light of the desire to quit blogging or feeling like you have stayed past your expiration date, the struggle is real, y’all. And of course it’s easier to start a shiny new blog than to try to restore the old one. That’s expensive and a lot of work.
Hell, I understand wanting a do over. Man, I started my blog way back before I knew bupkis about SEO. When I started blogging, I had one objective and that was to write. I wanted to share my stories with other moms so they knew they weren’t alone in this craziness that is motherhood (because, it is CRAZYTown all the way.)
Then I made friends and built a community because I loved what I was doing. I was making connections by being me. Sure my photos were not professional caliber and I didn’t know shit about what sizes to use and this was way before Instagram, Vine or Pinterest existed.
It was me blogging alone at night after the babies went to sleep and in between constant wakings. Co-sleeping was simultaneously awesome and killing me( especially the random head-butts it the middle of the night). I didn’t sleep a lot in those days but I craved the human interaction that blogging brought into my solitude life of new motherhood. You guys kept me company for two entire years while my husband lived out of state for work. You ladies (and gentlemen) saved my sanity and probably my life. YOU made it all tolerable and I survived.
Back then, I used Twitter like a phone and those 140 characters were my battle cry to whoever would listen. It was my mom 911. I made so many amazing connections; personal and business. There were no concerns of tweeting out links. Hell, I never even considered it. That was absolutely shitting where you ate. I would never text my IRL friends my links 3x plus a day and I would certainly never talk over their tweets or hijack their hashtags for my own benefit. In my defense, I’m not an asshole nor did I know what the heck a hashtag was.
Facebook was for sharing my posts, if I remembered but mostly it was for connecting to my readers. It wasn’t me virtually shouting ,”Look at me! Read what I wrote! Validate me!” It was, “Hey, so-and-so did the baby sleep through the night? How is the potty training going? Hey, you, if you need me, I’m here!” It was fun. It meant something. It was something I looked forward to. It was definitely not bugging strangers to play Farm games, JAMBERRY and poking people. HOW RUDE! I took social media and applied all the rules of real life to it and it was a beautiful thing. It worked.
People commented. We had conversations. I commented. I cared. You cared. We were invested.I craved to know their stories; their real stories. They felt safe enough to say something more than, “True.” I devoured the struggles and the triumphs. When I commented, I felt that it meant something to the person on the receiving end other than just traffic. It felt like community and friendship.
Then money came into it. Money is good and getting paid to do what you love is probably the best job that you can get. For a long time, I was naïve. I still didn’t notice traffic like I should. Hell, I didn’t even know how to check my traffic until Jessica told me to put Statcounter on my site. I had Google Analytics but I had no idea how to use it.
Then more money came and more jobs! Oh the writing jobs. I couldn’t turn any down. I just couldn’t believe someone would pay me to do this. I got to stay home with my girls, write about it and get paid. What??????
More jobs came. Then traffic goals became a thing. My free time was no longer free and soon, I felt like in order to be a good blogger I was becoming a shitty mom and that brought guilt. I decided I couldn’t live with myself in that state. My priority is to be the best mom I can be to my girls and wife to my husband but I want to be fulfilled personally too and it shouldn’t all have to be exclusive. I want to be happy.
By this point, I depend on my money. More money, more problems and all that shite. I found myself having less and less time for conversations and engagement. I started scheduling social and realizing that all of those amazing women that had gotten me through the lean years began to fall through the cracks. I still craved the conversations, the connections; the friendship. I missed every single one of you.
Then I became one of those assholes who checked her numbers constantly. I tweeted links a lot. I shared links on Facebook, Instagram and Google+. I pinned my posts and shared to Tumbler and even Linkedin on occasion. To be fair, I’ve always shared other people’s stuff too but I just didn’t get to read and comment like I wanted to. I shared it so that I could come back to it. My intentions were good.
I was writing everywhere and I began to feel like the Truthful Mommy train was over saturating the market. I’m sure you all got sick of me and I know that you knew that you could find me anywhere so why bother coming to read me on my actual website. It was too much.
I lost touch with many of you because I had so many deadlines and not enough hours in the day. It wasn’t fun anymore, it was a job. I was working really hard to build something but I’m not quite sure what it was that I was trying to build. I lost myself in the middle of my journey.
I’m not quitting my blog to reinvent myself. I’m addicted. I’ve been doing some face-lifting. Last fall, I changed the website. It’s not The TRUTH about Motherhood anymore…it is now simply just The TRUTH (because it’s not been just about motherhood for a very long time) I’ve learned that I need to organize so that I can actually spend quality time really engaging again. I’ve realized there is no shame in admitting that my blog needs some work done under the hood. I also know that some things are worth the price, this is one of them.
I’m going to pass on the Blogger Midlife crisis. I like my husband a lot, I need to give my girls more of my time this summer and I want to keep focusing on my health journey. I want to get back to writing because I love it. I want to have conversations with you. I want to surround myself with my tribe and I want us to grow together. I want my posts to be to the point where sometimes you’ll read 1355 word post and not mind because it meant something. I want us all to get lost in our stories. Who’s with me?
Disclosure: SEO was not considered once while writing this post. This post will never go viral because people don’t share like they used to. I don’t care because I enjoyed “talking” to you this morning. Let’s do it again soon.

2015/04/28
My Mom, My Hero
This is a compensated post written by me in partnership with Hallmark but my opinions and love expressed for my mom in this post are all mine.
Saying, “I love you” to my mom is second nature to me, like breathing, in the same way that I say it to my daughters, my husband and all the people who mean so very much to me. I don’t think about it. I feel it and I say it. But I’ve never stopped to think about what it means to “love” a parent. It’s just the way it has always been. They give us birth and we love them forever, the same way my daughters love me.
So, I thought about it. Really thought about it. What does my mom mean to me? My mom gave birth to me. She chose to have me, when she was in a situation that she very well could have chosen not to. She chose the hard path because she loved me before she ever met me. I never understood that love until I had my own children. A mother’s love is like no other kind of love because it runs deep and it is never-ending, unwavering and truly unconditional. I get that now.
My mom means everything to me. I take that for granted sometimes. I know that. She’s always been very quiet and humble and I’m loud and a little rough around the edges. When I was younger, I mistook her quiet demeanor for weakness but really; it was fierce strength because sometimes the hardest thing to do is to hold your tongue, especially when you want to shout at the world.
I was a difficult teen. I was angry at the world and my mother took the brunt of my anger. While I was raging and shutting her out, she was strong. She never made me feel small or unheard. She heard me. She may not have liked what I was saying or doing but I always knew that no matter what I did, she would be there when I needed her and she always has been. I was never afraid to go after what I wanted in life because I always knew that if things didn’t work out, she’d still be there to love me and support me.
Because of her, I learned how to be me. We are complete opposites even still to this day but somewhere between my yelling and her silence, there is peace and finally, we are both being heard. She still calls me her little girl and that’s fine to me because to her I will always be that little girl. The same way she will always be “mommy” to me.
What does my mom mean to me?
She means hope for better things. She is living proof that we can survive anything. She is unconditional and forever and without her, I wouldn’t be me. In my darkest moments, my mom has always known when to hold me and when to let me go and regardless if it was what she wanted, she always gave me what I needed because that’s what being a mother is all about.
My mom inspires me to be better, to push myself and always encourages me to follow my heart. She never loses faith in me and no matter how many times I stumble in life, she’s there, carefully watching and waiting while I pick myself back up. She may be quiet and reserved but she is the reason that I am bold. She gave me the strength and support to do that. My mom is everything to me.
It’s ironic that in a world where people share every fleeting thought that comes into their head sometimes we have difficulty saying the most important things to the people who mean the most to us. Hallmark helps us truly connect with those who mean the most to us. Hallmark can help you put your heart to paper.
What does your mom mean to you?
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2015/04/27
Why I Admire Bruce Jenner
I watched the Bruce Jenner and Diane Sawyer interview on Friday night.
I was surprisingly moved. I was sure I would be making Kardashian jokes but his message touched me because when your insides don’t match your outsides, life is hell. Haven’t we all had those days, maybe even those years. But imagine having to do it for your entire life? It must have been torture. Living a lie and hiding the real you from those that you love the most.
I admit, I mocked Bruce Jenner when I heard the rumors of him transitioning into a woman but it was because I didn’t understand his story. I’d never heard it. If just assumed that Kris had finally emasculated him one too many times and Bruce said, “Fuck it. Just cut “them” off I don’t want them anymore!” Then I heard him tell his story.
Bruce Jenner’s insides don’t match his outsides and they never have. This is something I know a little bit about. Over the years , I’ve spent a lot of years trying to hide who I am on the inside from people on the outside. Not for the same reasons as Bruce but sometimes I’d be so damn, unfoundedly moody that I was afraid of what people would do if they ever saw the real me. This part I totally get.
When I heard Bruce admit that he had told his previous wives of his lifelong feeling of living in the wrong body and had even began transitioning back in the 80s, before he met and fell in love with Kris, all I felt for this man was compassion and sadness. He was desperate to make his insides match his outsides. Don’t we all deserve to feel comfortable in our own skin? God, do I get that. But like most women, Kris ignored his warnings and thought she could change him even though he was in the middle of transitioning. He was serious about becoming the real him…her.
Bruce put off becoming who he really was because he loved Kris and when more children came along, he felt he owed it to them, as their dad, to be their “dad”. Bruce always put himself last and it almost killed him. He felt hopeless and desperate. There was even a moment after he told his family and decided to go for it that the paparazzi ridiculed him so badly that he went home from a would-be surgery appointment and instead considered just ending it all. The feeling of loneliness and utter desperation must have been overwhelming.
Finally, probably at the worst possible time because there was a giant glaring Kardashian spotlight on him, he took the leap of faith and decided that he needed to become who he truly is before he dies. He needed to become the woman he’s always been on the inside. He decided to take all the pain and consequences to become himself.
I’ll say it. I was wrong. Bruce Jenner is a brave, strong and amazing person. He loves his family so much that he always puts his own happiness on the back burner. If that doesn’t scream “woman” I don’t know what does. His interview with Diane Sawyer has forever altered the way I’ll think about Bruce Jenner. I don’t think of him as less of a man because of his courageous transition. I think of him as more of a person and I can’t wait to see what the real Bruce, happy and free to be completely herself, looks like and does with this second chance.
The bottom line is that we all have parts of us that we keep just for ourselves. I don’t think anyone’s insides match their outsides all the time but I think we at least deserve to feel comfortable in the skin we live in some of the time. Every day shouldn’t be a bad day that we have to face alone.
What do you think of Bruce Jenner and his transition?

2015/04/27
We’re Not Bad People, but We Did a Bad Thing
I’ve got a new addiction and it’s called Bloodline. I know that I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam and it’s actually my “job” to watch Netflix. I’m living the dream, people. Who are we kidding? I’d be doing it anyways but this way when the Big Guy gives me a hard time about watching a whole season of House of Cards, Derek, Orange is the New Black, BBC Shameless, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt or my new favorite, Bloodline (to mention a few) I can say, “ Hey, leave me alone, I’m working over here!”
Speaking of my favorite new show, Bloodline, what would you do if your brother killed someone? Would you call the police or help him hide the body? How many times have you been in a position in your life where you thought to yourself, the things we do for family! Well, that’s the premise the new Netflix hit Bloodline is built upon. It is full of great writing, complex characters and it is a thriller in the best kind of way!
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to get invested in the show or the family the show follows, the Rayburns, because I hadn’t heard much about it. I mean it’s about a seemingly middle class family who happen to live in the paradise that is the Florida Keys. What could be that enthralling about middle class perfection, right?
Wrong. One episode and I was hooked. This family has skeletons piled upon skeletons in every single closet and each is hiding their closet from the other. Perfect parents? No such things. Good upstanding citizens? Nope, not even the sheriff or the lawyer in the family. Nothing is what it seems. There is something about high suspense and family drama (especially when it’s not my own) that pulls me and keeps me invested.
I got so hooked, I binge watched the entire season in a week. I stayed up way past my bedtime every night because I had to know what was happening to these complicated, “normal” people who had such a crazy past that it had to eventually come to the surface, no matter how hard they all tried to pretend it never happened.
Have you watched it yet? What are you waiting for? I finished the season. Now, I’m patiently waiting for May’s new releases. I’ll tell you more about that soon.
What’s your favorite Netflix show to binge watch?
Have you watched Bloodline?
2015/04/26
Vi and Va Hit the Mark with my Little Latinas ( Giveaway)
This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Vi and Va Dolls and Latina Bloggers Connect.
You all know how skeptical I get about ethnic dolls. It seems that most times, the manufacturer either over shoots the mark and we end up with something like the Mexico Barbie fiasco with a cartoon representation of an entire race or no real effort is made at all and we end up with the same Barbie only with brown hair. This is also not acceptable. There has to be a happy medium.
There is a new Latino culture inspired fashion doll line for little girls, Vi and Va (Viva!).
They are sold exclusively at Target so I am assuming since most of us spent at least $80 twice a week in that joint, we’ve all seen them. I was provided one of each doll for review purposes.
Viviana (Vi) and Valentina (Va) are teenaged sisters. The other two dolls in the series are Felicia and Roxxi who are not just friends, but family. All four of the girls are related. The purpose of the line is to help young Latina girls embrace their heritage while showcasing the diversity in the Latino culture and celebrating family bonds. This is what the press release tells us.
Here is what I think. My girls took the dolls out of the boxes and immediately loved them because of the diversity in how they looked. You see, my girls understand that not all Latinas look alike. We come in all shapes and sizes (like the rest of the population). For example, my sister is 5’2″ has jet black, very curly hair, green eyes and beautiful olive skin. I am 5’7″, have dark brown, wavy hair, light brown eyes with flecks of green, very fair skin with freckles. My daughters have blue eyes, one has straight and the other has wavy, blonde hair and both are very fair-skinned. We are all proud Latinas and I was happy to see a doll that looked sort of like all of us.
I know that some people were offended by the fact that the dolls came with a boom box, an art easel, a baking tin and a guitar. I get it. I was offended that the Mexico Barbie had papers but I can’t be offended by what the Vi and Va dolls have because, in my house, we do all of these things.
Both my girls and I have guitars. Both girls have an art easel and regularly can be found walking from room to room with a sketchpad in their arms. Both of my girls have been in ballet since they were 2-years-old and you’d better believe that while we don’t have a time machine so we can’t get our hands on a boom box, my girls can’t pass up an opportunity to dance if music is playing on Pandora. And if I’m really being honest, my 10-year-old loves to cook. This not something I forced on her. My husband is quite the chef and she enjoys cooking with him. I’m not offended by the accessories, at all.
The dolls come dressed in bright, vibrant colored clothing with bold patterns and prints. You know, just like most teens (Latino or otherwise) are wearing these days. In fact, when I asked my 7-year-old about the dolls this is what she had to say, “I like them because they look like me and Bella and they dress like us. I only wish that they switched the things they do because I am the artist and Bella likes to cook!” What can I say, I think if making all little Latina girls feel “Latina” was the point, they hit the mark, at least for my girls because when you don’t look stereotypically “Latina” sometimes its hard to feel included.
My girls have been playing with them non-stop since they opened them. I really think they feel special because there is a “Latina doll” with blonde hair (like them) but she’s Latina. That might not make sense to you if you are not Latina, but if you are you know exactly what I’m taking about.
They only had two small complaints. First, they are annoyed that the 1 million Barbie outfits they own, won’t fit the Vi and Va girls. They are built different than Barbie; shorter and curvier. Secondly, the doll’s feet are weird. What can I say, I am not a fan of feet on anyone but there should be a warning for small children, “Do not be alarmed, the tiny toes are there, you just can barely see them.” Other than that, my girls really like the dolls.
Look, these dolls are not supposed to take the place of human role models. It’s just a very small step to making our littlest Latinas feel like they belong, are represented and help them to be proud of their culture. I think Vi and Va does that wonderfully.
As for role models, well, that’s my job so I’m not too worried that just because a doll happens to have a baking pan, my daughter might begin to believe that she is supposed to be barefoot and in the kitchen. I want my daughters to know that they can be and do anything they want, no matter what they look like, where they are from or what others think of them. I want my girls to know that if they are willing to work for it, there is nothing they can’t do.
If you like the Vi and Va line and would like to find out more about what’s going on with these diverse, modern Latinas you can find them on the website, Facebook and Twitter.
I’m giving one lucky reader a Vi and Va Birthday Celebration Doll Pack.
What? A Quincinera and a Sweet 16 party in the same year? If you think your little girl would enjoy this set, please enter to win via rafflecopter below.
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This is sponsored post in collaboration with Vi and Va Dolls and Latina Bloggers Connect. However, all opinions expressed are my own.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
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2015/04/24