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Flupocalypse

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Flupocalypse

This is as good as it gets at pick up during flupocalypse 2012

While we’ve all been waiting patiently to see whether or not the Mayans were right and we are on the brink of an apocalypse come December 21, my household has come under fire early in it’s own apocalypse of sorts; Flupocalypse 2012.

It’s been a long time since I have had the true, honest to goodness flu. Sure, I have had bouts of the 24 hour stomach variety and God knows I’ve experienced my fair share of head colds and sinus infections. Hell, I am the poster child for sinus infections. I am an ENT’s wet dream. But the flu, that is a beast of another variety.

The Big Guy and Gabs were home sick all of last week. I mean in the bed, couldn’t move, wouldn’t eat, looking like they were as close to miserable as they could get. I tended to them both and there were a lot of late nights taking temperatures and getting vomited on. There were a couple nights there where Gabs had me awake almost constantly between her coughing, temperature taking and blowing her nose and administering meds and giving cuddles and there is wherein my fatal mistake was made. I neglected myself and by Friday morning, I was bed ridden.

I am not joking. I am like a bull, you can’t keep me down. I don’t take naps or lay in bed unless it is the middle of the night but Friday morning, I was done. I had a fever of 103 for almost 3 days, which may not seem very high but I normally run about 96 degrees so it was fairly high for me.My throat felt like razor blades were run down the back of it and I was coughing up phlegm by the buckets. I was severely congested, I lost my voice, my head hurt form sinus pressure. I was vomiting from drainage and worst of all, my skin hurt for even my clothes to touch me. I was in excruciating pain from head to toe. The only salvation I found was ibuprofen, gallons of water, Mucinex and Wal-Flu ( apparently they took theraflu off the shelves) whatever it was, it worked. I’ll be honest, I was in so much pain I would have drank monkey piss if it made me feel better.Thank heavens it didn’t come to that.

Finally, this morning ( Tuesday) 5 days after the flupocalypse descended upon me, I can finally sit upright. Of course, I got a little too overexcited this morning and thought maybe I should eat something, seeing as how I have lost 7 pounds in the past 5 days. I drank a glass of orange juice. Yes, I do realize in retrospect that this was not a good idea because almost immediately after swallowing it I was doubled over in the fetal position for the next 15 minutes trying to recover. It was liking throwing acid onto an open wound. It was stupid and I don’t recommend it. Back to crackers and broth.

Anyways, I am on the mend I just wanted to let y’all know why I have been missing in action over the past few days. Thankfully, I think Flupocalypse has lifted with the exception of a little congestion and a hoarse voice and I’m still a little weak, probably from the forced starvation. Now, if I can just survive past December 21, 2012.

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Taylor Swift’s We are never getting back together song is one of my favorites right now so, of course, I had to completely make an ass of myself and sing it for you. Okay folks, I keep saying that I am going to do more vlogs.The problem is that I hate the way that I sound on video and my lip does this crazy nervous thing. Think drunk Billy Idol. Anyways, I also do not lie or like to break promises and I Love to make you guys laugh. So a promise is a promise and I am making more videos starting with this one today.

You guys have been awesome this year. Your support and love over the last few months has meant the world to me. You gave me a place to wade through my feelings and process them without feeling like I was wasting your time or boring you, which by the way, I am perfectly aware that some of you were thinking, ” Jeez O’Pete change the record lady.” That is perfectly okay. I’ve changed the record..for now. It was just one of those things that I had to completely live through before I could move past it. Anyways, enough about my crappy year.

It has also been filled with blessings and that too has everything to do with the people that I surround myself with; you included. Thank you for being my sounding board, my confidant and partners in commiseration and love. Who knew the internet was so freaking awesome.

Anyways, in gratitude in love, I have made this vlog and I hope it makes you smile. I plan on doing loads more. I  just need to find a better camera to shoot on, so if you have any suggestions, share them in the comments. I don’t particularly like the thought of looking like the lovechild of an albino uni-bomber and a drunk Billy Idol. The things I do for you.

Oh and by the way, no yoga pants were harmed in the making of this vlog but we are most certainly on a break, Ross and Rachel style. We’re seeing other people.I’m eyeballing some bell bottom jeans and I may just send the pants to England to help Princess Kate until she gets back on her feet. Poor kid.

P.S. I would totally not be mad at you if you want to subscribe to my Youtube channel, it has been severely neglected. Poor little bastard.

What do you think of my We are never Getting Back together parody?

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