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summer colds

If you would have asked me a mere 3 years ago if the daily splash in our pool would substitute for a nightly bath, I would have answered a resounding “HELL NO!” Followed by, “That is disgusting! Mom’s who do that are lazy and gross!”
Fast forward to a second child, a raging case of Mommy brain that sometimes feels like a slight case of sun-downers and I’d say, “Maybe?” “It’s better than nothing, right?” “Chlorine is in bleach and bleach is a cleaning agent,ergo the girls are sorta clean, right?”

First, let me start by admitting, I know that it’s gross! Also, let me say that I know this is no substitute for a bath. But sometimes, on those long tiring days of summer,when all time, space and reality is out of whack…it is what it is! Before, I would have reacted like a mad woman, yelling and screeching while overtired, wanting to be playing outside ( damn you long days) children fought the bath like a cat about to be drowned. Oh but I would have won the battle, probably much weaker from the wear. But I am a bigger woman these days, I’d much rather just admit defeat and own up to the fact that some night, like tonight..I wasn’t sure what day I last gave the girls an actual bath. I’m pretty sure it was Saturday Morning before our road trip,so they are due but it will have to wait until tomorrow morning before our next road trip. You didn’t think I was going to take them to my in laws dirty, did you? Geez, what am I some kind of “bad” Mother? Don’t judge me and don’t tell me that your kids have never substituted a day in the pool for a 20 minute splash in the bathtub! That being said, obviously a splash in any organic  body of water is not acceptable. My rule is if fish, or anything else, procreate , defecate, masturbate and urinate in it…it doesn’t count as a substitute. That would be why public pools do not count! EWWW!
What are your thoughts? Have your kiddies ever missed a bath or , ahem, two during swimsuit season? I’m not perfect, but I fight the good fight! Happy Mothering!

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It’s been one of those weeks. The girls have both been sick for a week, I am sick, my husband comes home this weekend and he is getting sick. Everybody feels like crap, we stay in our jams, there’s barfing, coughing up lungs, spitting ( oh yeah..so ladylike), fevers galore, me putting the girls in luke warm baths to bring down fevers ( any idea what that’s like? Its like bathing a cat!) and thermometers sticking out of every orifice in the house. It’s basically been a three ring sick circus and I’ve been designated the damn ring master of Germapalooza. Just for the record, its no fun being the ring master when you feel like shit. Summer sickness? What is that? At least when I am sick in the winter, I feel like the malaise is confined to my body; my person. In the summertime, with the heat, I feel like the entire universe is conspiring to kill me. It is horrendous.Couple that with having to watch more poor babies be sick, the helplessness that comes with that in itself; I feel absolutely miserable! You all know how badly I felt this week, I mean Monday I called my  own Mommy for help. (She didn’t come but that’s another story altogether).Here, I am walking around in a fever induced delirium trying to force fluids and keep track of meds for my girls, charting temps, rationing toast,and wiping noses and asses…all week long…all while trying not to pass out myself. Is that even safe? Fortunately for me, a family who is sick and ailing together..naps together. Ahh, naps, you sweet , sweet bastards you helped me survive this week.
Amidst all of this bubonic bliss, I couldn’t help but take a little inventory of my house and myself. Brilliant , right? I look in the mirror and see the crypt keeper with bed head, eye boogers and fever blisters. Pretty , right? What’s more pathetic is I look at my usually adorable kids and the poor babies, they look like..well, the crypt keepers children. Worse than that, I do care but I am too sick and tired to do anything about it. So, I put the kids on the sofas and we lie there in our ugly silence , sipping tepid water, wiping our noses and watching Netflix! Then , my crazy little over active brain takes over. It’s been known to do that. I’m a thinker, sometimes I wish I could just be vacuous…blissfully vacuous!
In true Mommy fashion, I decided that every morning before I started feeling my worst, I would make an attempt to clean my house. As a general rule, I have been working until I feel faint from the cold meds. (I learned that lesson the hard way while trying to place some decor above the kitchen cabinets. I turned around so quickly on the chair that I got dizzy and lost footing. Thank God I caught myself, the hospital would have locked my girls and I away for good if we came into the emergency room looking the way we did.) After almost falling and or collapsing for the third time, I decided to give myself over to the disease and accept that sometimes we just need to take off our Mommy Super woman cape and say,” To hell with it, I need a nap!” Because in the end, who cares what we look like or the house looks like when we are sick..we’re sick. What is important is that we take care of ourselves so that we can get well…and take care of our sick husbands! At least that’s what I’ve been told!Happy and Healthy Mothering!

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