The TRUTH About Motherhood

Tag: Sponsored

The Time of My Life Dirty Dancing Live On Stage
Have you watched Dirty Dancing the movie? Who hasn’t, right? But did you know that there is a Dirty Dancing Broadway tour? I think it’s pretty obvious to anyone who knows me that our family is theater lovers. There is nothing quite as spectacular as a live production.
The original is one of the quintessential movies of my generation. There was something about the Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Garner dynamic that was so unbelievable but at the same time exactly what every teen girl/woman secretly hoped for; that they’d get the hot guy not just because he wanted to throw her in the back of his car and have his way with her but because he fell in love with her personality and that made her the most beautiful girl in the world. Doesn’t every woman want to be sexy but respected?
Just in case you are not familiar with the story, here is the premise for Dirty Dancing:
The story takes place in the summer of 1963, 17-year-old Frances “Baby” Houseman is about to learn some major life lessons and a thing or two about dancing. On holiday in New York’s Catskill Mountains with her older sister and parents, ‘Baby’ shows little interest in the resort activities and instead discovers her own entertainment when she stumbles upon the staff quarters when an all-night dance party is in full swing.
Mesmerized by the raunchy dance moves and the pounding rhythms, ‘Baby’ can’t wait to be part of the scene, especially when she catches sight of Johnny Castle the resort dance instructor. ‘Baby’s’ life is about to change forever as she is thrown in at the deep end as Johnny’s leading lady both on-stage and off with breathtaking consequences.
These two fiercely independent young spirits from different worlds come together in what will be the most challenging and triumphant summer of their lives. It will be the “time of their lives”.
Even if you never saw Dirty Dancing, you can tell that the story is everything.
Dirty Dancing is an iconic love story on steroids with the best.soundtrack.ever! Honestly, Dirty Dancing was my best friend’s favorite movie and every time you spent the night (which was basically every weekend of our adolescents) we watched this movie.
I watch all of the movies from the 80’s with my daughters and its just as much fun now as when I watched them with my best friend back when I was a tween. So, imagine my delight when I found out that not only is there a live Broadway tour of Dirty Dancing but it is touring and coming to a theater near me (and probably you too!)
You heard me right! Dirty Dancing is back!
Exploding with heart-pounding music, breathtaking emotion, and sensationally sexy dancing. It’s been seen by millions worldwide and features 35 hit songs, including “Hungry Eyes, “Hey Baby”, “Do You Love Me?” and the the infamous, “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.”
We’re taking our girls to see it and we can’t wait! I have read amazing reviews and I can’t wait to see how they bring the story to life on stage in live theater. I’ll make sure to share my review with you after we see it so you can get the skinny on whether or not you should go see it in a city near you.
If you’ve seen Dirty Dancing on stage or even if you haven’t, I’d love to hear your thoughts on a stage adaptation.

Disclosure: I was provided tickets to experience Dirty Dancing on stage but all opinions and genuine love of theater are my own.
2017/04/18
Tips for Happy and Healthy Kids
This post reflects a compensated editorial partnership with Voices for Healthy Kids, a joint initiative of the American Heart Association and Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
When I was growing up, kids were encouraged to play outside. It was the most natural thing to see children outside playing; climbing trees, riding bikes, playing tag, kickball, or just running. Neighborhood parks were our favorite place to be.
Of course, when I was growing up there wasn’t the Internet. There were no laptops, iPads, kindles or Google. There were computers but they were big and bulky and not everyone had access to them. If you wanted to know what the name of that guy was who did the voice of that character in your favorite movie, you couldn’t Google it, you had to get up off your butt, go to the library and check the encyclopedias, the papers and the magazines. It was a whole big thing so why not just go swimming with your friends?
These days, kids are becoming tech savvy at a lot younger age. The Internet is commonplace and as we evolve technologically, we seem to be doing a lot more sitting and a lot less moving. Kids are not playing outside like they used to. Physical education is being phased out. Recess is becoming viewed as an obsolete dinosaur because who needs fresh air and playing on jungle gyms when you can play a video game about being outside and playing on jungle gyms?
We’re supposed to be moving forward but in a way, I feel we are moving backwards. Just because we have the Internet to answer every question we can ever dream of that doesn’t mean that we should stop moving, just because we can.
I believe our children’s physical health and well-being is just as important as their intellect, maybe more so because we only have one body and once that body is damaged, it’s hard to repair that. Research shows kids need 60 minutes of physical activity per day and PE programs can help get them there so why not teach our kids at a very young age to cherish their bodies and physical well-being.
It’s our job as parents to ensure that our little ones are healthy, and for me that includes advocating for physical education and more recess. In a world where it is getting easier and easier to do everything from the touch of a button, it’s important that we instill in our children not only the importance of physical activity, but the habit of moving. We need to model that behavior from a very early age. Heaven knows it’s easier to hand our kids the phone to play than to stop what we are doing and engage them physically, but we have to make the time and find the energy to just do it.
Childhood obesity is not only “a thing” in our society but it is commonplace. We live in a world where super-sized everything is the norm, and it is cheaper to buy junk food than it is to buy healthy food. Did you realize only 4% of elementary schools, 8% of middle schools, and 2% of high schools provide daily PE or its equivalent for the entire school year?
Kids don’t get time to just play anymore. Everything is scheduled and those schedules are packed. In my family, 6 days a week, my girls have extracurricular activities. It just so happens that their activities are physical, but there is very little time for free play and not all kids have these kinds of rigorous physical schedules. This is one of the reasons they don’t spend a lot of time on their devices. A healthy body fosters a healthy mind and increases academic performance. That’s a good thing, in my opinion.
I try to fill our summers with activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming and playing outside. The girls like to spend a lot of time on the trampoline, slack line and zip line and luckily for us, they are not that into being on the computer unless it’s for homework. They’ve not discovered Minecraft or video games yet.
I’m always advocating for more recess and additional days of physical education because those days are important, not only for our children’s physical well-being but their mental well-being too. PE addresses the needs of the whole child, positively impacting their physical, mental, and emotional health. Physical education also seems to have a positive impact on children’s self-confidence because when you feel more physically fit, you feel stronger and more confident.
We encourage our girls to embrace physical activity and to strive to be their healthiest. The Voices for Healthy Kids initiative aims to foster a national conversation about the need to ensure quality physical education as a part of every child’s education.
Throughout 2017, they’re aiming to deliberately and consistently insert the need for expanded PE into the national dialogue to push for changes in the states and communities where change is most needed and where clear opportunities exist.
Under ESSA (the federal education law), all states must develop a comprehensive plan to ensure all students receive a fair, equitable, and high-quality education. Unlike previous federal education law, ESSA includes physical education (PE) and health as part of a “well-rounded curriculum” this means that for the first time ever, health and PE have access to significant federal funding!
But here’s the caveat: inclusion of health and PE in ESSA is not a mandate. We need to advocate for daily PE to be included as a core component in ESSA plans so that money can be accessed for PE. If PE is not included in the plan, it won’t have access to funding. 95% of parents with children under the age of 18 think PE should be part of the school curriculum for all students K-12. I agree. Children need PE, as often as possible.
Do you know if your kids are getting enough PE? Protect PE by joining the PE Action Team at www.voicesforhealthykids.org/PE
2017/04/12
The Freelancer’s Guide to Keeping More of Your Money
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Intuit QuickBooks and #WeAllGrow Latina Network. The opinions and text are all mine.
Are you self-employed? In today’s digital world, more and more people are working as freelancers, contractors and quite frequently, remotely. Brick and mortar businesses are quickly becoming obsolete dinosaurs. With the Internet, many jobs can be done online from anywhere in the world.
It’s not like when our parents were starting their families. Moms don’t have to stay home with kids (unless they want to) and dads don’t have to leave the house for a traditional 9-5 corporate job because now, almost everything we can do in an office, we can do from home, and it costs less overhead for the company. Not to mention, it’s a savings for the employee because you’ve eliminated the cost of gas, lunch and even a car.
The fact is that today many of us do work from home and with contract work and freelancer gigs, that freedom, has a price. we have to figure out the logistics of the accounting; not only doing the work but filing the invoices, following up for payment, keeping track of receipts and, on top of all of that, we have to make sure that we are setting aside the right amount for taxes. It’s a lot a work but totally worth it to be your own boss.
With a lot of hard work, dedication and a great accounting software, being your own boss doesn’t have to be a dream; it can be a reality. Honestly, who doesn’t want to be their own boss? But you have to take yourself and your business seriously. Just because you are not working in an office, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be professional.
Since I am self-employed and I make most of my income freelancing, keeping track of invoices and receipts for business costs is an absolute nightmare. My secret weapon is good accounting software. Intuit QuickBooks is a game changer when it comes to keeping track of your hard-earned money whether you are self-employed or just want to be in control of your finances.
Why Intuit QuickBooks, you ask? Let me count the ways.
• The Intuit QuickBooks Resource Center has free resources for starting, running and growing your business which is awesome when you are trying to manage running the financial aspect of a growing business.
• There are in depth guides, free tools, helpful articles, and even videos to help you succeed.
• The Intuit QuickBooks Resource center is not just for small/medium businesses, but also the self-employed, freelancers, creatives, like myself.
• And one of my personal favorite resources is A Woman’s One Stop Resource for Starting and Financing a business.
Intuit QuickBooks Resource Center features or articles that can definitely be helpful to you.
a. Free self-employment tax calculator for self-employed people to figure out how much they need to pay for self-employment tax. This is an important one, you do not want that surprise when doing your taxes. Believe me.
b. Article on 10 tax deductions every freelancer needs to know:
c. Users that use the automatic mileage tracking feature can save an average of $7,393 in tax deductions each year.
d. There is also a paycheck calculator for employers to figure out how much to pay their employees.
e. Free income statement (profit and loss statement) template, example, and guide.
If that isn’t enough to convince you that maybe Intuit QuickBooks is something your business needs, here are some quick facts about Intuit QuickBooks to make your life as a freelancer so much easier.
1. Intuit QuickBooks is the #1 accounting solution for small businesses.
2. Intuit QuickBooks users save an average of 11 hours per month.
3. Intuit QuickBooks users find on average $4,350 at tax time by linking expenses and receipts on their phone.
4. Customers agree that Intuit QuickBooks gives them peace of mind their books are accurate.
5. Customers are more efficient and productive with Intuit QuickBooks.
6. Intuit QuickBooks Online customers find an average of $4340 at tax time by linking expenses and receipts on their phone.
You work so hard for your money, shouldn’t it be easier to keep track of it? For more information visit Intuit QuickBooks on Facebook and on Instagram.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Intuit QuickBooks and #WeAllGrow Latina Network. The opinions and text are all mine.

2017/03/14
Talking to Kids about Money
The talk, the “money talk”, that is it’s just about as frightening as the sex talk with your kid and just as important because if you get it wrong, the consequences can be dire so talking to your kids about money is very important. In fact, a major study conducted by Chase and Center for Research on Consumer Financial Decision Making at the University of Colorado discovered that Boomers put more value in having the “money talk” with their kids than “the talk” about “the birds and the bees”.
Talking to kids about money is that important!
As far as I’m concerned, especially since my children are of the snowflake generation and they believe life is fair and they get everything they want just for the simple fact that they exist, it’s never too early to start talking to kids about saving money, being financially savvy with their futures and planning for the future. And as everyone knows, knowing is half the battle. How can we expect our children to make good financial decisions if we don’t talk to them about it? As uncomfortable as talking to your kids about money may seem, it is necessary to boost financial confidence and preparedness in our children.
I grew up very blue collar. We did not have a lot of extra money. There were no grand vacations and elaborate luxuries. Our family lived on a budget and we knew it. Everything we had, for the most part, was a necessity. Luxuries for when you were old enough to get a job, work hard and pay for it yourself. Which is what we did. But we were taught from a very early age to save our money because we didn’t know when we would get more. There was no allowance for us.
Luckily, our girls have never personally known what it feels like to be poor or go without. But I’m not sure that is a good thing either. I think we’ve created a false sense of security. They have everything they need and most of what they want and they’ve never had to go without. This makes me feel happy that we can provide this ideal childhood for our girls but on the other hand, I feel like I am doing a major disservice to them because am I really teaching them to live in the real world? I don’t think so.
This is exactly why we should be talking to kids about money.
So, the Big Guy and I have put into place an allowance system. The girls do chores to earn their allowances. It’s $20 a month and it is theirs to do with as they please. We cover the necessities but if the girls want an ice cream cone and I had no intention of buying ice cream or if they want a Chapstick and they already have 3 or a new shirt and they absolutely don’t need one, they have to buy it themselves.
We explained savings and interest and the value of saving for something that you really want versus buying everything you see. Impulse buying is a fleeting feeling of fulfillment. There is no way you are going to enjoy that giant stuffed animal as much as you will love having the money to spend on vacation on something special. But the only way to teach them is to ultimately let them make their own decisions.
In the beginning, I won’t lie, they just spent money like it grew on trees, like it wasn’t real because they hadn’t earned it. Believe me, I understand this concept because I did the same thing in college with my credit cards they were handing out in the quad. It wasn’t “real money” so I just spent it like it was monopoly money. I’d pay it back “someday”. BAD IDEA!
Lately, I’m noticing the girls are shopping much more carefully. They are putting stuff back. They are asking themselves, do I need this? Do I really even want it? Is it worth all the cleaning I did to earn it? More often than not, the answer is no. I’m seeing a trend of saving for bigger things. They are loving the freedom that having their own money comes with. For instance, they know that if they want to buy ice cream, they can whenever they want. But they now ask themselves, is today the day I really want the ice cream?
Talking to kids about money is actually be working.
Now, not all Hispanic families grow up poor but a lot of us are direct descendants of immigrants and when you make a move like that, to an entirely different country, you learn a little something about the importance of saving money and the value of a dollar. A recent study showed that Hispanics started saving for retirement at age 27 vs. age 31 for the general population. Also, Hispanics are more likely to spend on ‘things’ over ‘experiences’, while Americans would equally spend on the two (60% vs. 50% general population). Things are tangible expressions of financial wealth, whereas experiences are not.
However, this is not true for me and my immediate family. I definitely believe that experiences are priceless. For example, for me, travel and showing my children the world and other cultures is more important than having all the coolest things. Of course, that is coming from a perspective of privilege because we do have all the things we want now.

That same study showed that Hispanics are especially open with their kids about money. I think this goes back to the fact that, most of us, have at one point not so long ago struggled financially. It might not have happened to us directly but it happened to a family member who is still alive and able to serve as a cautionary tale of struggle.
I think these all have a lot to do with the focus Latinos put on family. We are very open with our children and the first person we turn to in a crisis or for advice is our family; brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles and grandparents before we would ever go to a professional because a family member is always going to have the best intentions for you.
Chase understands the importance of learning more about each generation’s financial habits, which aids them in providing even more sound financial advice. The findings from the study reinforce the importance of having open and honest conversations about finances, no matter where you are in your life.
How open are you with your children about money? How important do you think talking to kids about money is?
To learn more about the study and follow the Generational Money Talks series, please visit Chase.com/LaCharla.
How are you talking to kids about money and teaching your children the value of money and saving for the things that matter the most?
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Chase and #WeAllGrow Latina Network. The opinions and text are all mine.
2017/03/08
How to Feel Sexy After Having a Baby
Disclosure: This is a compensated post written in collaboration with Lubrigyn but all opinions about how to feel sexy after having a baby are my own.
I’ve had pregnancy and babies on the brain lately because, any day now, we are expecting a brand spanking new baby nephew. The business of making and growing babies is a miracle. It also happens to be a lot of hard work but, as all of you know, totally worth it. The thing is when you are 40 weeks pregnant, you are usually too exhausted and feeling way too much like your body is a foreign territory to feel sexy.
Sure, we all do that last round of “get this baby outta me” sex but there is nothing sexy about it for us. It is 100% functional. There is a goal, get that baby out. It’s the same reason why we walk miles and eat pineapple by the buckets in that last week. It’s us, trying to deliver an eviction notice to our beloved little miracles. Sure, we want to meet them but also, we want to see our feet. It’s all hands on deck desperate times, desperate measures. I won’t lie, by week 39 of baby girl number 2, I was ready to go full on succubus on the Big Guy.
But I had no idea of how to feel sexy after having a baby.
You promise yourself that after that baby comes, 6 weeks, and boom! It’s on like Donkey Kong. You just know that you’ll be feeling extra sexy once that giant belly is out of the way and you are still rocking those “I just had a baby” breasts but that’s not how it works. That’s not how any of that works.
Aside from the fact that it is impossible to feel sexy when you are sleeping in 2 hour increments and are hearing phantom crying, even when that newborn is asleep, you’ll find that being covered in your baby’s spit up, no matter how much you love them, does not help you get your groove back. Plus, your mind is just not that into it: when you have an adorable munchkin suckling your breasts non-stop, it’s hard to see them as sexual.
The reality is that your body went through profound changes during pregnancy. That doesn’t all just go back to normal as soon as the baby comes out. Sex is one of those things that changes. In fact, 83 percent of female participants in a recent study said they experienced sexual problems in the first 12 weeks after their first delivery.
One of the most common issues is postpartum vaginal dryness. It is very common and a natural condition. We’ve all been there. Many new moms find that vaginal dryness makes sex uncomfortable or even painful. Who wants to deal with that, right? Fortunately, there are steps you can take to ease the vaginal dryness situation and get your sex life back on track.
Vaginal dryness is opposite of how to feel sexy after having a baby.
Let me explain, I know you probably know this from 9^th grade sex ed, but bear with me… The hormones estrogen and progesterone are produced in your ovaries and are what trigger puberty, breast development and menstruation. These hormones are also responsible for the buildup of lining in your uterus during your menstrual cycle. If you do not become pregnant during your cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels drop and the uterine lining is shed during your period. Life goes on as normal.
Estrogen and progesterone levels increase while you’re pregnant because instead of shedding your uterine lining, it develops into a placenta. The placenta also produces estrogen and progesterone, which is crucial to the health and development of your baby during pregnancy, so you are living in the world of estrogen and progesterone abundance.
However, estrogen and progesterone levels drop drastically almost immediately after you give birth because you just shed the mother of all linings. Hormone levels return to their pre-pregnancy levels within 24 hours of giving birth. Your body’s estrogen level can drop even further while breastfeeding because estrogen can interfere with milk production. These are all your body’s way of keeping your baby healthy, but all that missing estrogen can cause vaginal dryness.
Estrogen is absolutely vital to sexual arousal because it boosts the flow of blood to the genitals and increases vaginal lubrication. And every woman knows, that sex without arousal and lack of vaginal lubrication is pretty terrible. I like to see it similar to trying to swallow a mouth full of crackers with no water. No one wants that, right?
This lack of estrogen is also what’s responsible for many of the symptoms women have during menopause, including hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness so that’s something to look forward to, right? But seriously, it doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to and shouldn’t be suffering. Women deserve great sex too.
“Be mindful of your intimate health as you get older. As estrogen levels decline, so does your intimate skin become more delicate. Lubrigyn Cleansing Lotion provides rich hydration and is free from harsh, potentially irritating ingredients contained in other soaps and body washes.” – Dr. Alyssa Dweck
There are a couple things you can do. You can power through, if you are the rub some dirt on it kind of gal, which I am not. I am not a fan of pain, in any way, shape or form. Not even in the name of sex. A little hair pulling and lip biting I can do… but sandpaper vagina? I’ll pass.
So what does all this vaginal dryness mean for you? Well, the tissue of your vagina may become thinner, less elastic and more prone to injury. Your vagina can become inflamed, which may cause burning and itching. Intercourse can be painful and can even cause vaginal bleeding. Now, I don’t know about you but when I gave birth, I felt like I had a nuclear bomb go off in my vagina, so no, I didn’t really relish the idea of further damage.
The good news is these symptoms are not permanent and should disappear when you stop breastfeeding, when your estrogen levels return to normal. But no woman should be physically punished for breastfeeding, and stopping breastfeeding should not be the answer to the problem. We shouldn’t have to choose one or the other. We deserve to feed our babies and be able to have good sex.
What can you do to figure out how to feel sexy after having a baby?
I’m here to tell you that you can have a stellar sex life, despite postpartum vaginal dryness. The following are tips to help:
- Avoid harsh soaps and body washes in favor of a hydrating formula like Lubrigyn Cleansing Lotion. Today, more women than ever are taking charge of their vaginal hygiene and comfort with Italy’s #1 choice in feminine care. pH-balanced and made with botanical ingredients, this rich, silky formula soothes, protects and moisturizes the delicate skin of the vaginal area. It’s an all-in-one intimate wash that will keep you clean, confident and comfortable all day. It contains hyaluronic acid and elastin which is an effective synergy to alleviate vaginal dryness. Lubrigyn cleanses gently with natural oils without irritating lather or harmful ingredients, it has non-lathering with deodorizing properties. Lubrigyn can also be used in the shower or simply applied with a tissue, making it convenient for use at home, while traveling or on the go.
“There are easy ways to alleviate postnatal vulvar dryness and irritation. My patients love Lubrigyn Cleansing Lotion because it cleanses, moisturizes and lubricates so you feel refreshed and hydrated throughout the day.” – Dr. Michael Krychman
- Talk to your doctor about prescription options
- Use a lubricant when you’re having sex.
- Drink water. Keep your body well hydrated.
- Avoid douches and personal hygiene sprays.
- Last, but certainly not least, increase foreplay and try different techniques and positions. Seriously, talk to your partner. He doesn’t want it to be painful for you. He wants you to enjoy it too.
How to feel sexy after having a baby is a tricky situation, what did you do to get your groove back?
2017/03/02
The Sisterhood of Motherhood
The sisterhood of motherhood, isn’t it a beautiful thing? Seriously, without it where would we be? My mom friends, that unbreakable sisterhood of motherhood, is what got me through those early days of motherhood. They were my tether to sanity.
When I first became a mom, it was the single most amazing and simultaneously most isolating thing that had ever happened to me. There is just something about bringing life into the world that takes a woman and elevates her expectations of the world. My first decision was to stay huddled in our home, safely away from any and all germs, until I absolutely had to leave the house; six weeks later for my check up.
Immediately, I began to hold everything to a higher standard, including myself. My mission in life became to not break the baby; the perfect, amazing, beautiful creature whom I had just brought into the world. It’s a lot of pressure.
Motherhood gives you a new perspective of the world; more insight, more tolerance, more love and bravery like you’ve never known before.
Suddenly, I was fully aware that I was the keeper of this miracle. She was given to us perfect and any defects from here on out, was strictly on us. I was responsible for what kind of human being this sweet smelling, cooing, and loving little soul would become. It was overwhelming.
My first responsibility was to my child but once we left our bubble and went out into the real world, I realized that there are a million different ways to be a mom and how could I know for sure that my way was the best way? Keep the baby alive. That was my mantra.
Those first few years of motherhood felt like a constant “do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?” situation.
Only the ramifications were much worse than a simple explosion, I could ruin an entire human being’s life by making the wrong choice.
Okay, who thought it was a good idea to let me leave the hospital with this baby? I want to see some credentials because, clearly, they had no idea what they were doing giving a baby to me. Breathe!
I didn’t get much sleep in those days. It took a lot of time and effort doing the best I could and even more time comparing myself to other moms, not because I thought I was right but because I was sure I was doing it wrong.
By the time we started Kindermusik classes at 9-months, because a mom at the pediatrician’s office gave me a crazed look when I told her that my baby wasn’t taking any classes, I couldn’t get enough of what other mother’s had to say about the subject of motherhood. I wanted to be the best that I could be for my daughter so I was open to anything but there were so many conflicting parenting techniques. Every mom I met seemed to have a handle on parenting her child and still I felt like I was floundering, now more than ever.
Every other mom seemed to be better at motherhood than I was in those days.
I took mental checklists in those days. Breastfed. Check. Tried to anyways. Had problems producing and used an SNS to help. Check. Drank all the Fenugreek. Failed miserably. Check. Formula. Check. Bad mom. Double Check.
I used disposable diapers. Check. Never used a binky but she could not be parted from her lovie. (Still can’t.)Check. Co-slept. Check. Never stopped. Double check. Rolled over at 3-months. Check. Rolled right off the bed. Double Check. Bad mom. Check. Sat up at 5-months. Check. Started crawling at 7-months. Check. Crawled backwards. Check minus. Started talking at 6-months. Check. Started walking at 10-months. Check. Never wanted to leave my side. Check. Frequently woke up during the night while teething and demanded the Wiggles. Double check. I let her because the crying at 3 a.m. was killing me. Bad mom. Check again.
But every mom I met seemed to do everything just a little bit better with a little more ease and looked a lot better doing it. I met several moms who went back to work and had amazing careers and parenting seemed effortless while I, on the other hand, was completely overwhelmed, always tired and looked the part. The only thing I knew was that I adored my daughter and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to be the best parent possible to her. Really, I think that is how every mother feels.
Motherhood is hard, no matter who you are.

We’re just scared to let the other mothers know that we don’t know everything, it’s not all easy and some parts we don’t like or even understand. We pretend it’s easy because we don’t want to be labeled the “bad mom” the one who doesn’t know what she’s doing or worse, the one who is breaking her perfect child. It’s our biggest fear.
I’d like to think in times of true need, we would all rush to one another’s rescue. As I’ve moved past the new mother stage to the mom of elementary school aged children, I realized the truth and that was that we are all exactly the same. We’re all just trying to do our best and it’s hard for all of us at times. Some parts are easy for others and some parts are harder but in the end we all just really love our babies more than we know how to handle. We all just need to give one another a break because if we helped one another out rather than compared ourselves or judged each other, we’d all be happier and better moms. You’re not alone. We all make mistakes. Just keep loving your baby and doing your best.
When is a time that you felt at the end of your mommy rope and another mom came in with a kind word or action and made your day better?
05142015
This post about motherhood is sponsored by Similac. I was compensated for this post but all opinions are my own.
2017/03/01
Once a Cheater, Always a cheater
Are you a cheater? Have you ever told the person that you love the most a lie to satisfy your own id? I think most of us have, right? At first you think, who’s it going to hurt. Don’t ask; don’t tell. More like take the junk to the grave. If you’re going to cheat, the least you can do is keep it to yourself. Telling your partner that you’ve cheated is not going to help them at all. You did the crime, now do the time. Live with your guilt.
You see, this is why the Big Guy and I can’t ever do the Netflix and chill thing. He is all about the chill part but not about the Netflix binge part. I’m a closer. I like to pick my show and then binge it to the end. I am nothing if not committed to finishing my shows. So sometimes, I have to cheat.
He knows I do it. We don’t discuss it. It’s not a big deal. We are open about it. I am just not built to be a once-in-awhile show watcher. We’ve actually just given up trying because it’s just too frustrating and someone always gets hurt so we’ve decided it’s just easier if he does him and I do me.
For example, we started watching One Day at a Time Together but he likes to savor the moments and draw out the season. I am more of a wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am! Kind of a gal so he falls asleep and I watch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. Needless to say, I finished the series in a weekend and he still hasn’t caught up. It really was THAT good.
Then there was A Series of Unfortunate Events that we just couldn’t agree on a time to watch it so I watched it with the girls and he watched it while we were at ballet. We all agreed that the show was definitely cheat worthy because we all loved it.
But then there are shows like the Santa Clarita Diet that we all must watch together. It’s the kind of show that brings us back together and reminds us of why we fell in love in the first place, because we just get each other completely.
I’d definitely hide a body for him and I’m pretty sure he’d do just about anything in his power to keep me from turning into a zombie. I mean, I’m pretty difficult just when I’m hangry. I’d never cheat on him by watching the Santa Clarita Diet alone.

But then again, I won’t lie, when House of Cards returns this May, I won’t even pretend that I’m not doing it. The simple fact is that I will be cheating my way through it within a weekend. But don’t feel too bad for the Big Guy, I’ll be doing the Netflixing but we’ll be doing the chillin’ together. He’s the only one I ever want to Netflix and Chill with. I mean come on, I’m a show cheater not a real one.
What Netflix show can you not help but cheating and watching ahead on? Come on you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone.
Disclosure: This post was not compensated though I am a member of the Stream Team. All opinions and binge watching habits are my own.
2017/02/26
Gabriela McBride American Girl of the Year 2017 Giveaway
My girls are growing up fast. Faster than I could have ever imagined back when they were learning to crawl backwards and walk then talk. Everything used to feel like it took an eternity. Now, everything is so fast. Now, I’m the one saying, “Wait up! Stop this train. I want to get off.”
The girls are no longer toddlers and preschoolers but elementary aged girls headed straight for that awkward in-between age. You know that time where kids look like puppies with overgrown paws? You know they are going to eventually grow into themselves but they still have that dang baby face that you just want to smother them with kisses. That is until they roll their eyes at you. I swear I spend a lot of time talking about rolling eyeballs on this blog lately. My mom used to wish a daughter “just like” me on me when I was a teen. Now, I get it. I’ll have two.
Anyways, in a lot of ways they are growing up. They can do a lot of stuff on their own. Heck, I even let them play outside in the yard with no supervision these days. (why yes, I am a recovering helicopter mom.) They have their own phones and they can have real conversations about the world but, in many ways, they are still my babies.
I love seeing them develop into the kind of people they are going to be someday. I see interests and issues that they love and support. They are thinkers and doers and that makes me proud. One loves to write and the other draw. One loves to dance and the other do gymnastics. They are similar but so different. Their personalities are really emerging at this age and it’s a beautiful thing to watch. I feel like one day I will be able to say, I was there when.
One minute they are making music.lys and the next they are playing with American Girl dolls. One minute they are telling me, “No mom, I can do it myself.” And the next, they are coming in hot for mommy time. Hey, I’ll take it. I’m not complaining. I know these moments are fleeting. Yes, even the eye rolls. I’m sure one day, I will even miss those.
So, I really appreciate it when there are toys that they can play with and love but at the same time love and learn from. It’s rare that you find that because toys these days are either strictly for flexing the brain or completely pointless other than wasting your money and maybe giving your kids a few hours of entertainment. Yes, I realize those smiles are priceless.
I’ve always been a fan of dolls. Maybe because I’m a girl. Maybe because I have girls or maybe I just like the idea of a toy that teaches a child to be nurturing and compassionate; a “toy” that teaches your child to care for something else. It’s even more so when it is relateable to the child. Shared physical traits or, in the case of American Girl dolls which have their own backstory, shared interests and books to elaborate on that kinship.
This year’s American Girl of the Year is Gabriela McBride. Gabriela (the doll) is a quiet and creative girl growing up in a family of artists. In her story, Gabriela struggles with stuttering, but uses the power of poetry to find her voice and gain the confidence to make a difference in her community. I can relate to this because I was a clutterer and writing has always been my way of expressing myself.
The first book Gabriela, hits shelves in January and tells the story of a quiet and creative girl growing up in a family of artists. Gabriela inherited a love of the arts from her parents, especially her mother, but spoken word poetry is becoming her own passion. Although Gabriela often finds herself in a battle with her own words because of her stuttering, she discovers that her poetry, filled with wit and honesty, helps her speech flow more easily and gives her the confidence to find her voice to help save her beloved community arts center from being torn down.
As many of you know, I have my own Gabi who also happens to be a creative. She dances and loves to scribble on her drawing pad or in her journal and when she’s not doing that, she is making music.lys. You see, my Gabi is also a quiet girl who is an old soul. She is very observant and loves anything artistic and animals, more than just about anything else. She’s quite shy when around new people but through music.ly, she has opened up by being able to express herself without someone looking directly at her and she has been blossoming. Her music.lys are pretty hilarious. I just love seeing her enjoy herself and double bonus when she and her sister do them together because that means they are not bickering, as they so often do lately.

The 18”Gabriela doll has curly dark-brown hair and warm brown eyes. The first thing my daughters said when they saw her was, “Look mama, she looks like you!” It’s true, we both have some pretty awesome curly hair and warm chocolate eyes. Only, I wish I was a dancer.
My Gabi fell in love with Gabriela McBride the moment she saw her. She loves that Gabriela is musically inclined and has cool accessories that she can use further personalize her experience to Gabriela like the performance case and the creative studio.
The performance case has everything Gabriela needs to set a performance or mix music. The case includes a laptop with a retractable cord for her drum pad and microphone, as well as 3 reversible and interchangeable screens. The drum pad can be plugged into the computer for sound mixing and comes with drumsticks. The case also includes a stylish pair of stylish rhinestone headphones so she can tune everybody out and prepare for a performance.
Gabriela loves nothing more than to dance, create and dream in the studio at her community center, much like my Gabriella and her beloved ballet studio. The creative studio comes with a metal barre that’s perfect for practicing moves from her ballet board and a reversible backdrop with the interior and exterior of the studio. It also comes with a water bottle, because every dancer needs to stay hydrated and a soft yellow towel because every dancer knows after a hard class, you sweat. Your tiny dancer or future YouTube, music.ly or funimate star will adore these add-ons for Gabriela.
Additional Gabriela products and books will be available starting this spring and, for the first time ever, the Girl of the Year collection will be available for a full 12 months and beyond!
To connect both boys and girls with Gabby’s inspiring message, American Girl is partnering with Scholastic, the world’s largest publisher and distributor of children’s books and leader in comprehensive educational materials, to create and distribute Express Yourself, a custom curriculum program that teaches 3^rd-5^th grade students how to use poetry as a tool for self-expression. The free materials will be available on www.scholastic.com starting March 1, 2017, and include teacher lessons and corresponding classroom activities, a poetry poster, plus parent tips and learning ideas to do at home. In addition, to celebrate National Poetry Month, the program also features a poetry contest for students that will run throughout the month of April. The Express Yourself program will encourage all students to find their creative voices and share their own personal stories, while building confidence along the way.
To learn more about Gabriela and the Girl of the Year^™ line, go to americangirl.com, Facebook at facebook.com/americangirl, Twitter at twitter.com/american_girl, Pinterest at pinterest.com/agofficial, and American Girl’s Instagram page at instagram.com/americangirlbrand.
I was provided a doll for review by American Girl and they are letting me give one away to one lucky reader. Just leave a comment on who your favorite American Girl doll is and why below in the comments section and enter via the rafflecopter entry.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2017/02/21
Tips to Live Longer that I Learned from Almost Dying
Ever think you might want to live longer than the national average life expectancy? It’s 79 years old, by the way. That doesn’t work for me. I’m aiming for 103. Life goals people. I want to live longer, bolder and fiercer. I want every moment to be packed full of living.
There are very few things that can get me to change my entire life. My children are the reason I want to live longer but other than that, I’m a creature of habit and not all of those habits are good ones. I mean, I’m not smoking crack or anything but I’ve been known to say (on more than one occasion) that I’d rather work out for 3 hours than give up my carbs and I meant it, every single time.
The thing is sometimes those things are taken out of your hands and your only option is to give up the proverbial carbs, or in my case, the literal carbs. That’s what happened to me. Can you say morbidly obese, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetic and anemic? Yeah, that will make you change your, “I’d rather workout for 3 hours than give up my carbs” mantra really quick. I thought I was special.
It reminded me that time is fleeting and I want to live longer… a lot longer.
Well, not really special but I thought, it can wait. Like you, I’ve always been the kind of mom who puts my kids first sometimes to my own detriment. It’s just I want them to fondly remember me as the best.mom.ever.
I don’t pretend that we are friends. They hate my guts sometimes because I am “so mean” because I make them do things like eat vegetables and get their homework done. There will be plenty of time for bonding like friends when they are grown. Right now, my mission is to love them, keep them safe and raise good human beings so sometimes I have to be unpopular. Eye rolls be damned. Besides, I know they love me because they hug me while they are rolling their eyes.
Anyways, back to me, because I am embracing this new “selfish mom” era of motherhood. I had an incident recently, that I truly thought was a heart attack. Went to the doctor with 187/107 blood pressure. Was literally freaking out. Suddenly, no carbs in exchange for my not-quite midlife sounded pretty damn good. I was beyond bargaining and was begging the universe to let me have another chance.
Are you there God, it’s me Deborah and I’m going to need to live longer!
Well, after lots of tests, I found out that I did not have a heart attack. Thank Goodness. But everything else I’d feared was right there in my chart confirming my suspicions, I had been ignoring my own health for way too long.
Eating cold food on the run or late at night after everyone else is taken care of is not good for you. Never taking the time to work out to lose the baby weight (for 11 years) because you are too busy rushing kids to their sports, definitely not good for you. Never looking at labels because you know what’s good for you, surprisingly not good for you. Eating out…so terrible for you. But I live in the real world and I want to keep doing so. So, I’m changing all of my bad habits with the hope of being able to live longer.
Here’s how I am making little changes that will help me live longer and be healthier.
Shaking my bootie
I’ve started at the bare bones. I’m moving. No, not across the country to a weight loss commune. I’m moving my body, morbidly obese as it may be. I, like you, don’t have a lot of extra time in my day so I am designating 30-45 minutes a day where I dance all over my house with the music blaring. I know I dance like Sam Rockwell but I don’t care I am moving. It makes me happy and it feels good.
A couple other things, I’ve gotten myself a Lotus desk stand so that I will no longer be sitting all day. In fact, I’ll probably be dancing at my desk. I’m probably dancing right now. The Lotus™ Sit-Stand Workstation features Smooth Lift Technology™ to keep your workstation stable and make changing positions from sitting to standing effortless. Lotus is an easy to use, adjustable and worry free setup engineered with the durability to transition working positions throughout the day. Numerous studies have confirmed that sitting for prolonged periods of time is harmful to your health.
Another thing, I’m walking. Why sit or stand when you can walk. Park further away, take the stairs, just do it.
Writing stuff down
Also, like I told my mother (who was not amused at all) thanks to my past history with eating disorders, I am a dynamite list maker and a pretty damn restrictor. I’ve channeled that into something good, I am logging all of my food into my phone and then I am keeping an actual list of all the calories, carbs, saturated fat, cholesterol, sodium and fiber that I am getting. Sounds daunting right? You know what’s even more daunting, being dead. Missing my girls grow up, so lists it is!
Making better choices
I am making informed decisions about what I put into my body. I have my guidelines and I am following them. I do believe everything in moderation so if I can fit what I am craving within the parameters of what I am allowed to have on that day, then I have it. I’m eating cleaner with lots more fresh fruits and veggies, no red meat, lots of lean meat and being very aware of the dairy I put into my body and only eating whole grains. Yes, it is an adjustment. My family is ready to murder me in my sleep for all the sneaky veggies that I’ve been feeding them. My daughter was not amused when she found out that her popcorn chicken was actually baked cauliflower with honey garlic sauce. She thought it was amazing until her sister ratted me out.
Letting it Go
Last but not least, I am letting stuff go. I am a long-time, Type-A perfectionist. I have doctor verified control issues but I am like a dog with a bone when it comes to issues that bother me. I can’t let anything go. I’m a fighter but with that comes stress and worry, which are two pointless emotions. They serve no purpose other than to make your situation worse so I’m stepping back, counting to 10 and recognizing my limits. If kids don’t get their homework done, I can’t stay up until 3 a.m. finishing. If the house can’t be perfect, so be it. I can’t make everyone happy. If you are someone who stresses me out, I’m probably not going to be answering the phone or interacting anytime soon.
I want to surround myself with positivity. That’s it. I want to live and I want to be healthy so I have to make it happen. I have to be selfish so that I can be around to be a good wife and mother. My dreams will never come true if I’m dead so I am embracing my new lifestyle.
It’s only been 11 days but I’ve lost 11 pounds and I feel better than I have in ages. This change is not only good for my mind and body, it’s good for my soul. I can see things more clearly when my mind is still and I can focus. So this is me becoming the best version of myself.
Since beginning this journey, I have found a lot of great family-friendly healthy recipes and discovered new and exciting ways to be active at home, with your family or by yourself and I will be sharing them all here along the way. It’s not as hard as I thought, with the right motivation.
What are you doing to live longer so that you can see your little ones grow up and you can grow old with your special someone?
2017/02/14
Sing. Dance. Laugh. Repeat!
This post is sponsored by DreamWorks. All opinions about Trolls are my own.
Does your family have a designated “family fun night”? Friday is our happy, relax, “no homework and we get to sleep in the next morning,” get your happy on night. The only thing we need for a successful family night is for our family (with the occasional cameos of our favorite friends) to be together. We’re simple and it doesn’t take a lot to make us happy on Friday nights. Usually, footie pajamas, good food, a movie and some music are just what the occasion calls for. We are big fans of the spontaneous dance party. We have no shame in our family night game. Sing. Dance. Laugh. Repeat!
We usually like to keep the movie light and happy, something we can all enjoy without anyone ending up in mommy’s bed. We’ve been waiting for DreamWorks’ Trolls to come out on DVD and Blu-ray since we saw it in the theater. Trolls have had a special place in my heart since I was a child and the movie did not disappoint. It has a catchy soundtrack that’s so much fun to sing-a-long with. I should know because we’ve been singing along with it in the car for weeks. The characters in the film are vibrant and fun enough to keep even the most discerning little ones entertained and the themes are perfect for a family fun night; no Trolls left behind and family is everything. After all, being with the people we love really is where our happy place originates.
But the real key to a good “family fun night” – besides the movie of course – are the snacks. We don’t want anything too serious or labor-intensive, after all, it is Friday! At our house, once we’re all in our favorite jumper jammies, we like to put some music on and dance around while we wait for our pizza to arrive because everybody loves pizza. You know us, we’re cooler than a pack of peppermints.
Next, while we’re still dancing and usually by this time laughing our heads off at one another because some of us have moves and some of us…not so much, I like to throw together some snacks. Our favorites are a simple fruit tray and a veggie tray because not only are they good for you, they are easy to make and fun to dip. Also, since we are about to see a movie we need snacks like iced animal crackers, Cheez-its and popcorn. You would be astonished at how easy it is to assemble this small feast and how happy it makes all of us.
Once we’ve all got our bellies sufficiently filled, then we settle in with fuzzy blankets on the sectional and start the feature film. Depending on how long it takes the girls to get the table cleared off, there may or not be time for yet another family fun night spontaneous party. I must say this is infinitely more fun when your children’s friends are also spending the night. There is something special about 8-11-year-old girls on sugar that kicks family fun night up about 20 notches. Sing. Dance. Laugh. Repeat!
If you are looking for “family fun night” games, I suggest these, sure-to-make-everyone-in-the-house-happy activities. I promise everyone will be smiling, except for maybe the kid who gets a dog food jelly bean or the one who draws the ingredients blue popsicle and salami for her smoothie challenge, but even then our kids were smiling. 1) Bean boozled 2) the Smoothie Challenge 3) Pie in the face. And if you are looking for the perfect “family fun night” movie to watch, look no further.
DreamWorks’ Trolls Party Edition on Blu-ray and DVD, with the Party Mode bonus feature is available to own on Feb. 7th, DreamWorks’ Trolls Party Edition includes a never-before-seen sing-along, dance-along “Party Mode.” It’s packed with fun, colorful extras perfect for your family movie night!
Bonus, loads of your favorite actors/ actresses make an appearance in Troll form. Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, James Cordon, Zooey Deschanel and, my family’s favorite songstress, Gwen Stefani just to name a few. It’s like the perfect Carpool Karaoke cast. And did I mention some of the Trolls poop cupcakes and glitter. I mean, c’mon, what more can you want from a feel good family movie? Sing. Dance. Laugh. Repeat!
2017/02/01