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Birth, Pregnancy,labor,dleivery, birth

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Birth, Pregnancy,labor,dleivery, birth

Photo By Rubberball Productions/ Getty Images

Birth~ The only thing anyone ever tells you about birth is “It’s such a blessing” (which it is) and you forget about the pain of childbirth as soon as you hold your beautiful newborn baby in your arms , which I hate to be the bearer of bad news, is a complete (Did I mention complete) and absolute, bold faced lie. Unless an anvil fell on your head immediately after giving birth

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Who’s the spin doctor for Motherhood? Seriously, who was it who decided to tell us that when we get pregnant we ‘glow ‘ and ‘ never look more beautiful’ ?Did I really , could I really, have been so naive to believe that harboring a fugitive parasite in my body for 10 months could make me beautiful. Saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.You’d think someone with a 147 IQ would have known better. Let’s be honest , when I was pregnant , I felt nauseaus, bloated , fat, ugly, unlike myself , grouchy, mean, horny , hateful, hungry , tired and like I had to pee a lot. But not once , do I ever remember feeling beautiful or glowing . I guess if they told us the truth the species would die out . I guess it’s not all so bad, I did go back for seconds. Pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson now, though . Happy Mothering, may it be all it’s cracked up to be.

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

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birth, labor, contractions, bringing home baby

I will never forget the moment the nurse came into my hospital room and said, ” OK, as soon as we can get you a wheelchair, you guys can go home.”

She shared a warm, heartfelt smile with the three of us, this new little family of ours. My heart sank, my stomach turned, and my eyes immediately welled up with tears. I was frightened and overwhelmed, excited and ecstatic but I felt like I was going to vomit.

I looked at my, obviously, just as freaked out husband and I whispered, ” Are they really going to let us go home with her?” I knew the answer.

I had been planning on this moment since the moment I knew I was pregnant. But amongst all the anticipation, I had forgotten that, in the end, this tiny, perfect newborn baby was going home with us.

I thought to myself, “My God, what will we do with her? She is so tiny”

In my head, I just knew, she was so perfect. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for messing her up. They make you take a test and get a license to drive a car but no test, no license, no qualifications for taking care of a baby. It really is insane.

At that moment, as we were staring at this tiny little piece of perfection strapped into the giant, all engulfing car seat, scared witless, the nurse came in with the wheelchair. I exhaustedly sat down in the wheel chair and embraced my new life. A baby had changed everything.

I realized that this was truly the first day of the rest of my life. Absolutely everything that I had known up to that point was completely irrelevant in my life and I didn’t care. As they placed my beautiful, little miracle into my lap, our eyes locked and her gaze held me. I fell in love, deeper then anything I have ever known to that point. In that millisecond, I became an extra in my own life and she is the star…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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loss of a pregnancy, miscarriage, pregnancy, birth, the first pregnancy

That brings us to the gloriousness of pregnancy. Well, for me, pregnancy was pretty glorious. I only gained 18 lbs. with my pregnancies (of course I started out on the chunky side), mild all day sickness with my first, I had an ass for the 1st time in my life (not so bad), boobs got a little bigger, no hemorrhoids, no excess gas, still loved sex, still slept on my belly, no stretch marks (well, one but it disappeared after birth).No craziness.

I just basked in the glory of my pregnancy. It was amazing and I devoured all the attention, ate whatever I wanted (that was allowed), was completely engulfed in the whole experience. Read every book (with and to my husband), sharing facts like they were going out of style. Rented a Doppler, sang to my fetus, played music to it, talked to it, swayed it to sleep. It was an unexpected bliss like nothing else.

Everything about my pregnancy was amazing.

I took every class, drove a little slower and kept a journal of my pregnancy. No one told me that I should pamper myself, because it was the last time I’d be able to do anything alone, for the rest of my life. No one told me that I would from the day of delivery on I would forevermore be referred to as “mommy”. No one told me that I would lose my own identity and forget where I end and my children begin.

Oh, to go to the toilet without a chaperone trying to eat the toothpaste. Those were the days. But, I wouldn’t trade one moment of toothpaste eating tag to pee alone again, if it meant that I didn’t have my daughters. Alone time is over rated anyways, yeah, just like date nights and spontaneous sex, said the jealous, tired Mommy.

That was my first pregnancy!

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Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

I remember being pregnant as a first time mom-to-be and obsessing over the age old question of what does birth feel like?  It’s a lot like death, we fear it because we have no freaking idea what it really feels like until we are waist deep in it. I was terrified to find out. I knew that there was NO WAY that a baby the size of a watermelon passing through an opening the size of a grape was going to not feel like I was dying. I asked people. I begged to know what birth would feel like. I never got a straight answer.

All anyone ever told me about birth was “It’s such a blessing” (which it is) and you forget about the pain of childbirth as soon as you hold your beautiful newborn baby in your arms. Hate to be the bearer of bad news first time moms-to-be,but that part is complete bullshit; an absolute, bold faced lie. Unless an anvil fell on your head, immediately after giving birth, while holding your newborn and by some miracle missing your child and knocked you unconscious leaving you with amnesia…you will never forget the pain of childbirth. It is an indescribable, unforgettable, and unbearable pain. Who could forget that?

So when our sisters, friends, and other beloved women in our lives ask us,

What does birth really feel like?”

I’ll tell you why, it wouldn’t change a thing. The pain would still be ‘that’ pain, and all it would do is make our girlfriends freak out and it would still hurt. Besides if you dare to be different and actually go against the code and tell someone the truth of what birth feels like, well, they won’t believe you anyways.

I told my best friend that while waiting for the anesthesiologist to arrive to administer my epidural, I told my husband if he didn’t find the damn doctor “with the needle” then I was going to jump out the large picture window that was in my hospital room. He knew I was serious. She thought I was kidding, speaking metaphorically to demonstrate the point. I assure you, I was serious. Dead serious! Not until she was in the throes of her own delightful birth did she recollect my words and realize that I was telling the truth. At that point, it was too late.The scary, horrible, painful truth about what birth feels like is not something you can explain to someone who has never gone through it. For me, child birth feels like a near death experience.

I asked my sister in law (who had 4 children at the time, with no epidural) what giving birth really felt like and I never got a straight answer.Just the typical, you’ll forget about the pain once you hold your baby in your arms and look down into those beautiful eyes. After, I went through the unforgettable ordeal of childbirth, I called her and asked her “why didn’t you warn me?” Her answer to me was this, “ It wouldn’t have changed anything and it would have freaked you out. Once you’re pregnant, it’s too late to change your mind because of a little pain (Little?) Besides, you never would have believed me!!!” And you know what? We were on the phone (states apart) but I swear, I heard laughter in her voice. You know that, I just punked you laugh.

birth, what does birth really feel like, pregnancy, labor, delivery, giving birth

This club, it really does enjoy watching its provisional’s squirm. She was/is right; I would have thought she was crazy, a wimp, a liar, perhaps all of the above but I never would have believed and certainly could not have comprehended what child birth really felt like.

What did birth feel like to you?

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The Truth about Motherhood, girl mom, mom life

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

When you were pregnant did you ever wonder what the hell the truth about motherhood was really going to be? Did any of us really consider what was about to happen or were we so overwrought with hormones and “mothering instincts” that we just assumed that it would all come naturally? Silly girl, I guess that was a lesson we all had to learn the hard way. That’s the funny thing about motherhood, it’s the most important job in the world and nature counts on us “learning as we go.” So strap on the biggest mom goggles you’ve got because life’s about to get mom colored.

I bet you never realized that motherhood is a club, more exclusive than the Junior League, the country club or any other social/philanthropic women’s club you’d ever encountered up until now. I know it seems like they let anyone in but they don’t. Sure lots of women can get pregnant and technically be a “mom” but there’s more to it than just egg meet sperm. It takes a tough broad to really by a mommy; to invest her life in such a thankless pursuit. 

It’s called motherhood, full of bliss and insanity, and it’s situated right in the middle of a war. It’s like the middle east with screaming newborns and crying moms but instead of AK-47s we’re all being held hostage by one emotion; love…unconditional, never ending, all consuming, kiss your baby on the lips, eat half chewed up Cheerios and smell a baby’s butt in public…LOVE.

Welcome to the TRUTH about Motherhood

This is where I will give you the real, true to life play-by-play of this lunacy we call parenting. Believe me when I tell you that I never thought I would become this person. Before I was an actual mom, I was the best mom ever. I knew everything and had parenting down to a science but then actual living, breathing human beings entered the picture and all my thoughts on parenting went to shit.

Yes, there are many, many women in this club, from all countries and walks of life. Do you know of any other sorority where the initiation rite is growing and producing a human being? Seriously, that’s a little steep. It’s a never ending membership. Once you’ve joined, you’re a lifer and believe me it’s more stringent than any other club I belong to. It’s like being jumped into a gang. There is no way out. It’s a ’til death to we part sort of situation so hold on to your hats ladies, shit’s about to get real up in here.

motherhood, mother

 The Real TRUTH about Motherhood

Once you are in the “Motherhood”, you are continuously scrutinized for your choices; from conception (whether its planned or a completely unexpected pregnancy), to delivery, what you wear, what your child wears, how you speak to your child, what classes you take and the lists goes on to infinity and beyond. Worse still, most other mothers never tell you the “truth” about how hard motherhood is but they will judge you for your mistakes. Double edged motherhood sword in the house. The secrets of motherhood are securely hidden from the newbies under lock and key by other mothers; being careful not to reveal an inkling of the real truth for fear that the species may cease to exist.

But I think we are tougher than that. I think we moms are stronger than we give ourselves credit for being and I think our best chance of being the best moms we can be to our children is through forging a real sisterhood through motherhood. There is strength in numbers and if we all just be real with one another, we can lift one another up. Help one another survive without too much guilt and a whole lot of beautiful memories.

motherhood,the truth about motherhood, pregnancy, babies, parenting

You aren’t usually told the hard truth about pregnancy, labor, subsequent siblings, bedtime, discipline, after baby body or any of the other gruesome aspects of motherhood by your friends and neighbors.  You will hear all about the awesomeness by your mom friends. You will have rainbows and unicorns coming out of your ass. But that’s not reality. I’m Debi, a very Truthful Mommy and this is the truth that your mothers, sisters and girlfriends might never tell you!

This is the beginning, so if you are ready for the TRUTH about motherhood, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as it happens to me, stay tuned! I’ll be giving you the good, the bad, the ugly of motherhood. I’ll be irreverent and brutally honest, so hold on to your hats. Shit is about to get real. Welcome to The TRUTH about Motherhood. My TRUTH about Motherhood!

motherhood, parenting, mother, the TRUTH about Motherhood

 

 

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