The TRUTH About Motherhood

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PMS and Motherhood
PMS~ There is Premenstrual Syndrome, more aptly called the one week a month that I hate all living creatures for even having the gall to breathe, little lone have the audacity to speak to me or ask me for anything at all.But then there is the ever so lovely, PMS and having the responsibility of mothering. Are you effing kidding me? Who ever thought this was a good idea? Come on, it is not an understatement to say it is potentially as deadly a mix as pills and booze.
My dearly beloved husband has departed (no he’s not dead…yet) to the great state of Virginia, for business leaving me, with my last shreds of sanity, alone with my two beautiful girls.
ALONE with PMS!
I have been trying my best to keep them occupied, so they don’t feel the void of their father’s presence as much as they might, say sitting around the house doing nothing. We have been running to and fro, engaging in every last activity I can come up with. This is being done for a dual purpose; 1) to keep my daughters’ completely preoccupied with other activities so they are not missing daddy too much ( and constantly whining about it, as they have so boldly demonstrated they are quite capable of doing) and 2)to keep my house in spic and span condition on the rare chance that there is someone in this world who is actually looking to buy an awesome house in a great subdivision in this awful economy. This has been my life since my husband has made his departure. And if I may say so, myself, I have been doing a damn good job at both, though tiring and nerve racking as it has been.
PMS you Sneaky Bitch! I’m busy! Go away!
Then, from out of nowhere, since I myself have been so preoccupied with all of these activities and have forgotten the beast from within that never misses her visit, she arrives and she is taking no prisoners. I have been ripping heads off of cable companies, phone companies, and even the occasional bystander for 2 days now.I had the good sense of self awareness to realize what was happening, while I was visiting my parents and my 4 year old, who has decided she can’t hear anymore, had a sleep deprived melt down and wanted to leave my mothers house…at bedtime. Yes, at bedtime! This happened after, the previous night, her 2 year old sister had decided that she wasn’t caring for sleeping (all three of us) in Grandma’s full sized bed and proceeded to punish me by screaming ,sporadically, without cause, at the top of her lungs… all night long. Yes, ladies, all night long. Remember those nights with a newborn, when you were so sleep deprived that you prayed for death, just so that you could sleep? This was way worse. Anyways, back to the meltdown, so rather than calm her down, soothing her, and coaxing her to lay down at Grandma’s like I normally would have done. I said, “OK, go potty!” and I proceeded to chuck every bit of crap we brought into the back of my SUV..with the speed of lightening and the fury of the a goat on crack. My parents watched silently and my children, being that they are apparently aware that Mommy gets a little crazy once a month, were unaffected. They simply said their good byes to the grandparents and ignored my mood completely.
Driving home, completely besot with myself, and completely over my kids meltdown, it hit me…” You crazy bitch, calm down. It’s PMS week” We, Ella, Abbi and myself (Sybil for the week) made it home without any real incident. That night, as I put them in bed and looked at their sweet little faces, I thought to myself, do these kids know how truly dangerous their Mama’s PMS really is? Luckily not. Normally, my husband is here to offset the true glory that is my PMS but with him gone, I was left to deal with it all on my own and it was not pretty. I spoke with my husband and let him know that I am having my beast visit this week. He is coming home, after two weeks of being gone, his response to me was ,”Oh God. Can it be over by the time I get there?” Luckily for him, I was not in the throes of the syndrome or that could of warranted him a tongue lashing to not soon be forgotten, at the very least. I have come to the conclusion through this ordeal that it should be a law of nature that once you have children you no longer can experience the “syndrome.” It truly is quite counter productive and very much as reckless and deadly as “Pills and booze”.Of course, if pills and booze were involved I believe I would be much more likable this week anyways. But alas, as does mothering and PMS not mix neither does mothering and pills or booze. As all good mothers do, I will suck it up and put on a happy face. My girls are awesome blessings and as long as I can keep that in perspective maybe I can keep the beast at bay, at least until my husband gets home:)
PMS, You may have Won the Battle but Not the War!
2009/06/30
Random acts of kindness
I’ve been mulling over something that I really want to instill in my children…random acts of kindness. I used to be one of those people who saw the bumper stickers and thought to myself, that’s great but..whatever. I mean really, who has times to run around randomly being kind to one another? And if you do, what do you get out of it? Unappreciative ignorance? That was me, a year ago, sarcastic, jaded, unappreciative me. Today, I am a believer in random acts of kindness.I’m more than a believer , I am a proponent:)
In the past year, my life has changed quite a bit. I have had to put my life in the hands of others and quite literally, be dependent on the kindness of strangers because I had no choice. I was new in town, I was friendless, I was completely out of my element, and what felt like a million miles from everything and everyone I knew. It all started with a Mommy, just like any one of you, who did not know me. We were in a MOPS group I joined. We were talking, first day chit chat, and she knew I was new to town. Asking how I was getting along in a new place, if I’d joined any other activities, etc. In passing, I mentioned that I wanted to join the local Stroller Striders but ,unfortunately, had left my stroller in my house ( we were transitioning, corporate housing and all that). This woman, this complete stranger, offered me one of her strollers. I was floored.What? Was this really happening? Was someone being generous and kind for no obvious reason other than to be a good human being and help a fellow human being out? What? What? What? That evening, that very same evening, she brought me a gently loved Nordic jogging stroller.I was amazed.
Then I met another friend,one of the most amazing women , I have ever met in my life. The kind of woman who at first glance you may think, who is this broad? Seriously, she was so “sweet” I kept thinking, is she crazy or is she for real. I had never met anyone like her, and am pretty sure I never will again. She met me, she put 100%into the friendship, and was a walking ball of random acts of kindness. One day I was feeling under the weather, and for no other reason than the fact that she is an amazing human being, she brought over lunch for my kids. Then dinner for my family that night. My kids were sick, she brought them treats and coloring activities. Random brownies would appear. OH, how we miss those brownies:)LOL These may not sound like big gestures but they were constant, timely, and randomly the kindest thing anyone could do..when I needed them most and expected it the least. This was just a very small amount of what she did for us, what she still does for me. Her kindness parlayed into an amazing sisterhood between the two of us. Because of her random acts of kindness, I now have one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. Her random acts of kindness have inspired me to want to be a better person, and that has to mean something.
Then there was yesterday, my daughter’s preschool teacher (which my daughter no longer attends due to our recent relocation) called us and had the entire class sing Happy Birthday to my 5 year old over her cell phone.This random act of kindness may sound like a very small gesture but to my 5 year old, who has just had to leave all of her amazing friends, school, routine and relocate this meant the world. The joy that gesture made, the effect that simple act of kindness that her teacher , another amazing woman by my standards, had on my daughter.That is something that I can never repay because it is priceless.
These are just a few of the random acts of kindness that I have experienced in the past year; there’s been chocolate for no reason at all, when I’ve needed it most. A hug when I’ve been sad, smiles when I’ve needed a little sunshine,girl talk and martini’s when I needed a breath, shopping and talking..its all about timing. Someone sitting a little longer with me at a gathering because I arrived late, someone giving me tickets to a concert for my kids that I couldn’t have gotten otherwise, there are so many random acts of kindness that I have been the recipient of that there are too many to mention. But if you know me, chances are you have perpetrated a random act of kindness in my direction. Thanks for making me a better person. Random acts of kindness are so special because they are selfless and sometimes someone’s small random act of kindness can mean the world to someone who really needs that kindness and love in their life at that moment. Kindness can never hurt , it can only help! So be amazing, save a life; BE KIND!
2010/03/11
….And Then I BECAME a MOM!
Today, I have the pleasure of having one of my favorite people and a fantastically talented writer, my great friend, the lovely Laura Willard of A(n)(Un)Common Family guest post as my final guest in my month long 2nd year blogiversary celebration.
“And while being a mom is a huge part of who I am – the part that changed me in ways nothing else could, that made me get in touch with an inner soft side (one that could actually cry!), the part that suddenly realized what true, unconditional love actually feels like – it’s not all that I am. There’s more to me, even if it’s far less adorable than my kids.”
Laura’s blog is about motherhood, marriage and how she has evolved over the years while maintaining the woman she was before the kids. It started with child adoption and she touches on just about every single issue a mother or woman can face. She shares her soul and knowledge all with a twist of a wicked sense of humor. I love her and so will you. You can also find Laura on Twitter. Thank you Laura for sharing your Truth about Motherhood. On a side note, if you are planning to adopt a child, you may also want to include open adoption in your options.
I need to get a few things out of the way before I start:
(1) If I didn’t love Debi, I’d hate her for putting me at the end of a month-long lineup of fabulous bloggers that humble me. I mean, really? I have to follow those ladies?! Have you been reading this month? They are ah-ma-zing.
(2) I have no free time. Washing my hair is a luxury. Okay, fine, I probably wouldn’t wash that shit regularly even if I had time, but you get the point. Free time = premium. Still, when Debi asked me to post here, I was thoroughly honored, even though I can’t keep up on my own blog, because I was asked by an amazing woman and mom that I’m proud to call my friend (and pillow-fight-in-lingerie buddy for BlogHer, but that’s for another post..).
Debi embodies what women and mothers should radiate – support, love and honesty. She doesn’t sugar coat the journey that is motherhood, she doesn’t BS and she doesn’t hurt.
And she’s beautiful – inside and out.
Okay, now I’m ready to share MY truth about motherhood
Fine, I don’t have one.
You caught me with my pants down.
(Gross. I know. I’m scared for you.)
I didn’t have a vision for motherhood.
I married my husband when I was very young. I wasn’t quite drinking-legal yet (we won’t talk about how long I’d actually been drinking at that point). He was eight years older (no, he didn’t have money and no, I didn’t have a crappy home life). I knew he was The One, and I was right. Ten years later, he’s still The One.
(It’s okay. Go puke. I just did.)
I always knew I wanted to adopt my kids and when I told him while we were dating, he said, “Cool. That sounds good.”
So after we were married for six years and after I’d finished law school, we started the process.
I was in control of my life. I was smart. I was calm. I had life by the balls.
And then I became a mom.
It rocked my world. In the best way possible. But it was rocked.
I became a parent to a child that had an entire life’s worth of experiences before he came to us at 10-months-old. A lot of work, over one year of entirely sleepless nights and physical and emotional stretching that I didn’t know was possible, occurred during the first year. But I figured it out.
And then 14 months later, I became a mom for a second time to a child whose immediate medical needs made mine look boring. And whose personality was the opposite of my son’s. So I went back to the drawing board and learned how to mother from scratch.
I’ve only been at this motherhood gig for three-and-a-half years. And yet I’ve learned more than I did during seven years of “higher education.” Would you like to know what I’ve learned?
(Of course you would.)
Not as much as I thought I would have.
Just when I think I know something, I learn something else that shows me that I didn’t quite know everything.
So I suppose I do have a few truths about motherhood. Motherhood teaches you something new every day. It humbles you to no end. Sometimes it stretches you so far you think you might break. But you don’t. And it fills your heart with unconditional love.
*P.S. Laura, you are amazing and I already loved you hardcore but after this post, I must say..you made me weep a bit:) What a wonderful way to end this series!XOXO
2011/05/30
Shabby Apple Giveaway~ Two Lucky Winners Will WIN a $100 Gift Certificate
It’s Friday, so I’m giving you some gorgeous fashion via ShabbyApple.com. Many of you know that ShabbyApple.com sells gorgeous, vintage style dresses that are feminine and playful, yet modest and sexy. Believe me, I spend most of my days dressed in uber casual sub par yoga wear so I get pretty excited about clothing that makes me feel like a woman and not a house frau.
I’ve featured Shabby Apple in the past and I am thrilled to be featuring them again today and giving away a $100 gift certificate provided by ShabbyApple.com to two of my lucky readers so that they purchase their favorite dress. Ladies, conference and wedding season is among us. Who doesn’t want a gorgeous dress to wear, especially one that is not your run of the mill off the rack dress that everyone else might be wearing type?
The three dresses I chose to highlight today are ones that I own myself; the Belle de jour, Hydrangea and, my absolute favorite, Meant to Be. All three dresses are fully lined which is important to me since I am not 21 anymore and like to keep my goodies veiled in a light lining.
The Belle de Jour is a beautiful orange cream A-line dress, designed exclusively for Shabby Apple by Kacey Kalmar. It actually looks a little closer to a very soft pumpkin color, which I think is fantastic because it can parlay into a fall dress if you pair it with a light blazer or sweater. The dress is fully pleated. I am not normally a big fan of pleats because I have full hips but these pleats lay pleasantly flat and don’t seem to add any extra width where I least want it. The dress is 100% polyester with a charming attached ribbon and bow detail at the waist that adds just the right amount of fun.

Kacey Kalmar also designs the Hydrangea dress. It is light hydrangea blue with a ruched waistband, an A-line skirt and is made with 100% cotton so it is very lightweight for warm spring and summer days but weighted enough so that it won’t fly up at the first gust of wind and leave you exposed. I hate when that happens. Hydrangea is made in the USA and machine washable, which is always a plus in my book. I don’t have free time for hand washing these days.
The last dress, Meant to be, is my favorite. It is a Tiffany blue A-line dress with a full skirt and bow detail at natural waist. It is made of Polyester and Spandex with a 100% nylon lace shell. I love the way the lace drapes over the liner; it is very soft (not itchy as some lace can be) and gives you a very feminine silhouette. Bonus: it is machine washable! This dress is absolutely perfect for wearing to a summer wedding. It’s fresh, clean and beautiful.
Also, if you are in the market for a swimsuit this summer, ShabbyApple.com has beautiful vintage swimsuits that are sexy without being too revealing, perfect for those of us who want to show a little bit of skin yet keep it classy. My favorite is the Twirl bathing suit.

So what is your favorite ShappyApple.com dress? To enter to win one of the two $100 gift certificates just follow the Rafflecopter instructions. The contest will end at midnight next Friday, June 22, 2013. Mandatory entries include leaving a comment telling me your favorite Shabby Apple item and subscribing to The TRUTH about Motherhood , but you are already doing that anyways, right? This contest is open to readers over the age of 18 in the United States. Good luck to you all.
At the Truth about Motherhood everyone’s a winner so even if you don’t win, here is a discount code for 10% off any ShabbyApple.com dress in their fan favorite section. The code is fanfavorite10off.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

All Photos courtesy of ShabbyApple.com

Disclaimer: ShabbyApple.com has provided me with items to review and giveaway but all thoughts and opinions are all my own.
2013/06/14
Throat Punch Thursday ~F*ck Cancer Edition
This weeks Throat Punch Once again, Throat Punch Thursday has us back in Florida. Why does it seem like we are always in Florida on Thursday? Thursday recipient has had it coming for a long time. I mean for at least 12 years but , actually more like 20 years, for me personally. In general, this recipient has had it coming for as long as it’s been around. You know who I am referring to..CANCER! That sonofabitch has hurt a lot of people for a long time and almost everyone has been touched by it. I lost my Grandmother to it. I lost a close friend to it. It has completely rearranged the lives of many women I know. The last straw was when my nephew , who was only 3 at the time, was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, he has had a full recovery and is now a freshman in high school but that didn’t make going through it any easier when he was 3. I hate cancer….with a passion. I don’t hate too many things or people, I strongly dislike but I HATE cancer. Every time I see a friend who lost her mother, or almost lost her mother to cancer, my heart breaks. When I see my girlfriend who was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 months after having her child, my heart hurts. When I look in my nephews beautiful face, I am reminded of what he had to endure at such a young age and I can barely breathe. When I look into my girls eyes and realize that this awful thing could ever touch them, it is unfathomable. Oh, yes, I effing HATE cancer! Then I came across this bit on CNN ( you know, my source for all the sunshine I spread on Thursday)
Now, cancer just got kicked up a notch on my list.As if there weren’t enough reasons to hate cancer, this video made me want to choke cancer out and watch the life of it slowly go out. I feel that it is high time that this bastard be eradicated from the planet. Don’t you agree? To CANCER I give the reverse right legged roundhouse to the back, coupled with two lightening swift throat punches to the gullet, followed by nunchucks to the head and for good measure. I would spit in cancers face.I know,you’d expect a lady not to be so vulgar but that’s how much I HATE cancer!If you want to read the entire article about Mary Villet please go here.

Who or what is worthy of your throat punch today? Come link up. Grab a Throat Punch Thursday button ( under buttons tab), include it in your post, link up, comment and enjoy the relief that comes come relieving yourself of the stress of the world’s stupidity.
2011/04/28
Unspoken fears of an irrational mind
I just woke up, an hour earlier than usual. I suppose it has something to do with me trying to actually get some sleep these last few nights. Hergo no late night, 2 am blogging sessions. Sorry about the posts shortage but for my sanity’s sake I had to get caught up on some sleep. I was beginning to feel a bit disjointed. Speaking of which, I awoke this morning with the remnants of a bad dream lingering on the horizon. Let me preface this by saying, I’ m pretty sure this has everything to do with the current living situation (due to an out of town job for my husband), stress of being a part-time single mom, and nothing to do with reality…at least not to my knowledge. In this dream, my girlfriend who is about to burst pregnant comes to visit ( in reality , my husband has never even met this woman). She is at my house complaining about wanting this baby out and her husband always being out of town ( which he, in fact, always is due to work).My husband enters the room, sits down by her and begins to console her. Now, in reality, my husband is the type who is very ‘friendly’ with my girlfriends. I don’t mean flirty, I mean actually friendly. He is a very jovial man ; he likes to laugh and thinks himself to be very funny. So, this is no stretch that he would see one of my friends down and jump right in like one of the girls. But in my dream, he pulls her toward him and leans in and kisses the side of her head. I was watching ,uncomforatble and shocked. What the hell just happened? It seemed innocent enough, but not in the context…being that she’s not his wife. Remember, he doesn’t know her. After she left,. I asked him, “What was that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, ” I don’t know…I like her.” What? Half jokingly, I said,”Well, don’t like her too much.” The whole thing had a really weird feel about it. Then, the next day, we’re in the car (my husband and I) and he tells me,” I’ve been thinking about it and I really do like her.” This is not what any woman wants to hear about her friend. He was serious and the implication was I like her more than you. So, I sat there in disbelief and listen to this cornucopia of reasons why he likes this woman he barely knows more than his wife of a decade. It went something like this…She’s blonde (I’m brunette), She’s so small (I’m 5’7″ and slightly overweight), she’s so vulnerable (well, I have to hold it together because he’s always gone and I have to be strong), she’s quiet (I’m opinionated.I have a brain and I like using it.), she’s pregnant (he doesn’t want any more) and the list went on for what seemed like forever. Which I suppose it would if you had to listen to your husband list why he likes another woman more than yourself. It was all like a horrible, cruel joke. Ever see that movie where the teenage girls were hazing the other girls and they would circle and point out every single flaw you they had, and laugh and mock that flaw.That’s how I woke up feeling. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and raw in my entire life. I’m not sure if this sleep thing is for me, if this is the product of sleep. Sometimes we spend so much of our time as Mommies powering through life that we never take the time to actually dwell on things like we did before we had kids. That is normally a good thing because it saves us from living like lovesick teenagers; worrying about every look, glance, hidden meaning behind every word or gesture, second guessing our relationship. But maybe sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are not just Moms, who have to be strong for everyone.Sometimes we need to dwell on ourselves and our relationships with our spouses because they fell in love with soft young girls, who doted on their every breath and hung on every word. I know we don’t have time for such niceties with the house falling down around us and kids swinging from the chandeliers,bills to be paid, laundry to be done, but I think this dream was a reminder that I need to make more of an effort to be just ‘Debi’ when he and I are alone. I need to be able to switch back into woman mode, from Mommy mode. Mommy mode is too high strung to stay on 24/7…Mommy mode will burn out our motors and leave us broken. Hey nightmare, thanks for the friendly reminder! Now, please leave me alone…I have things to do and places to be, until Friday when I switch back into Debi. I wonder, when Debi’s around…who’s going to run the joint? I guess Daddy will have to figure it out.I’ll be busy being vulnerable and soft.
2010/04/13
Knowing the Last Baby You Had was Your Last Baby Ever
What would you do if you knew the last baby you had was your last baby ever? I used to read my friends posts about how they “knew” that they were done having babies.Or watch my girlfriend’s face when they told me that they were done. It was a look of certainty. I never understood what they meant. I always felt a little bit for sad for them that that time in their life was over. I guess it made me sad that the possibility was gone. (more…)
2013/01/07
The Shark Week Double Tap
The Shark Week Double Tap ~ I know you are scratching your head asking yourself, what the hell is she talking about. Well, I will get to that but first I need to warn you this is definitely a TMI post. If you are a man, or squeamish about personal woman talk, ~~walk~~ no run away now. First, if you are a regular reader of The TRUTH about Motherhood you are already very familiar with the term Shark Week. If not here is a post to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about Shark Week. This brings us to my latest shark week debacle.
The Shark Week Double Tap
So, it is once again shark week. When isn’t it shark week? It seems like every time I turn around these days, it’s shark week. In fact, I’m tempted to get pregnant JUST to stop the craziness that is the moody spectacular of Shark Week. And I think I’ve made the Big Guy just crazy enough to agree to it. Desperate times, desperate measures my friends. But I promised you a definition of the Shark Week double tap. Embarrassing as it is to admit, a promise is a promise plus I’m really curious to know that I am not the only one who has suffered this humiliation.
Without Further ado the Shark Week Double Tap
The shark week double tap, my friend ( you are my friends right? I’m banking on it and praying for your understanding and no judgement. After all, the situation itself is humiliating enough), is when you are so deep in the throes of Mommy brain, you’re sick as a dog with a wicked sinus infection ( you can’t smell, you can’t taste and you can’t hear), the kids are screaming, dinner is burning, it’s black Friday, your have people visiting and aside from your whole world being upside down and inside out…you are hemorrhaging at just the thought of walking across the room. This is when the shark week double tap happens. You are unsuspecting and unaware and it just sneaks up on you. You are so tired, overwhelmed and confused that you go to change your tampon and when you should have pulled you completely missed the step and only pushed…another tampon into the already crowded space where the last one is. Gasp!
The kids are screaming at the bathroom door, your husband is waiting in the car for you to head out to pick up dinner to replace what you just burnt and your mother is talking at you through the bathroom door; this is when the deed is done. You won’t even be aware of it for a bit.Who knows maybe that first little guy got all turned around and you lost the string and that’s why you completely forgot to pull the cord before you launched another cotton rocket into your vaginal infinity and beyond. I know you are wondering how the hell is this even possible. What can I say, I’ve given birth a couple times and I’m pretty sure a small hobo could find shelter in my vaginal cavity, my cervical wonderland and I might not even notice I’m so busy on some days.
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The Culprits..but there's a 2 at a time max! The Cotton Twins!
I know I am not alone in this but doubt any of you will have the bad taste to admit it but you can identify yourself by being the one who is laughing just a little harder than the others at my predicament. Thank God this faux pas is not fatal, unless you count the double dose of toxic shock syndrome inducing cotton levels in my body. Sure it’s uncomfortable and a great reminder that I should have just taken the time to locate my damn Diva cup ( that bitch isn’t moving once it’s locked and loaded) rather than give in to the convenience of the tony toxic cotton rockets. The worst part is that I usually ( yes, it’s happened to me more than once) don’t realize what has happened until I am out in public, away from a toilet and walking like I’m in my third trimester and about to give birth to a pair of cotton topped twins at any moment.The humiliation. What’s the worst side effect of your shark week? Don’t be afraid to share, misery enjoys company and I know shark week is no picnic for any of us.
The Shark Week Double Tap, every Mother’s Nightmare
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2011/11/29
Cocktail Play Dates; Keeping Mommies Sane since Prohibition
Cocktail Play Dates They say necessity is the mother of all invention and mother did we need something invented to make tolerable the ordeal of being held hostage with strange women as our children licked, bit and chewed on one another ( all in the name of socialization). I’m not saying it’s always going to end in disaster sometimes you may actually salvage a friendship amongst the rubble of the biting, licking and whining( and that’s just the moms). For years, we’ve been drinking coffee during play dates. Isn’t coffee considered a gateway drug? Whether it was the white noise effect our children provided in the background as we gossiped ( as we kept one very suspicious eye on that 3 year old baby Huey about to hit our little princess with a toilet brush) or as we caught up with our most favorite Mommies. Then we’d go home, behind the closed doors of suburbia and drink ourselves into a small stupor at #wineparty after the kids finally passed out from exhaustion. While coffee has it’s place, let’s face it…it leaves something to be desired in the breath department and on an empty stomach can cause quite the scandal at someone else’s loo. Not even Starbucks has figured out a way to remedy that situation. But then the two were merged, play dates and drinking.
Cocktail Play Dates Anyone?
Many people like to have a social drink now and again to loosen up or unwind. This is no secret. A glass of wine to be heart healthy. A Bellini with brunch. A wine spritzer to cool off by the pool? People drink on dates, correct? To calm the nerves? With that being modern culture, it would be no great leap that one might have a nip of this or that to relax and enjoy the date…the play date that it. Do moms get drunk, stumble around dropping kids and play spin the bottle with one another? I’d hope not. Do they do it every single play date? Probably not ( who has the time or energy). But I don’t see the harm in an occasional drink, in moderation, if drank responsibly. It’s been argued that by having these cocktail play dates Mommies are advocating underage drinking or being a “bad” example. I agree, if you are fall down drunk or have a cocktail in your hands at all times, you are probably projecting the wrong impression…functioning alcoholic anyone? But really by having a glass of wine at dinner or the occasional sangria on the back porch, aren’t we teaching our children to drink socially and responsibly?
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I would NOT suggest drinking this particular cocktail around children..EVER! Should come with a fire warning.(stock xchang)
Cocktail Play Dates the beginning of the End
Obviously, if your kid is an infant and you are still breastfeeding steer clear of the alcohol. If you are driving your children even a block, no alcohol for you. If your children are young enough to need you to wipe their asses, noses and hold their hand because they are too shy and/or afraid to socialize..having a drink is probably not an option for you. But if one summer afternoon you find yourself with a couple other Mommies from the neighborhood, your 9 and 10 year olds are together running through the sprinkler, I see nothing wrong with the host Mommy pouring everyone a nice regulation sized glass of Pinot Grigio ( Mimosa, Bellini, Wine Spritzer) coupled with a plate of fruit and cheese ( let’s soak it up as to not make asses of ourselves, Ladies). Everything in moderation. I wouldn’t recommend doing body shots off of one another. I know in my neighborhood, the home association frowns on that sort of behavior. It has something to do with the whole lewd and lascivious behavior or something of the like. Apparently, Mommies gone wild doesn’t have the same appeal as Girls gone wild. Go figure.
In the end, you have to go home to your family, look yourself in the mirror and be OK with how YOU parent. No one else can make that decision for you. They can look at you with judging eyes and disappointed hearts but really who are they to judge? What do you honestly think about mixing the two? Would you? Could you? Have you?
*To clarify, I’ve had one Cocktail during a Play Date in my entire life ( nothing even remotely like those gals in Florida). It consisted of drinking a Mimosa while my mom responsibly chaperoned my daughters’ play date with the neighbor kid. It was brilliant in the way that eating carbs at your leisure is, just a little taboo. Not something I would want or be able to do all the time. Let’s face it, having my children has reduced my tolerance for alcohol to that of a gnat.
Cocktail play dates anyone?
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2011/08/03
Throat Punch Thursday~ Unhealthiness, Thy Name is Obesity

Obesity~ The epidemic that is causing broken hearts and leaving dead bodies in it’s wake all across the world but more specifically in my own home country of the United States. It’s no wonder either. We are a people that live fast paced, on the go and high stress existences. We are always running to and fro and we are overworked and overwhelmed. We are a land of overachievers. In our quest for trying to be the best, we are dropping the ball in one particular area of our life, the most important area..our health. We are mindlessly stress eating too often, everything is super-sized while saturated in grease and we are so busy behind our computers or at our desks that we never get enough exercise. Even when we have the good intentions to work out, we have to beg, borrow and steal to find the time, energy and a babysitter. Sounds to me like obesity is the logical evolution of our current collective lifestyle. But I say NO more!
Just Say No to Obesity
Recently, the answer has been to make fat acceptable. That’s right, I just used the word FAT. Overweight. Obese. However you spin it. If your BMI is over 30 you are a victim, willing participant or whatever the case may be of the epidemic of obesity. Just because we are afraid to hurt one another’s feelings, feel the need to be politically correct and keep changing the size of clothing to pretend we are smaller than we actually are does not mean that we are healthy.It just means that we are packaging obesity in a different way, a prettier package. The only way to be healthy is to put down the fork, get up and get moving and make healthier choices all around. But first, we need to be honest with ourselves! Obesity is no joke. Just because we all pretend it’s cute,package it in fancy clothes and commiserate does not make it any less damaging to our health. That is the point, I am making. That is why the obesity epidemic gets my throat punch. I am fully aware that there are medical conditions that cause some people to be heavy and it’s beyond their control but I’d suspect that only accounts for about 1% of obesity cases. I know most of us don’t do it on purpose, though there are those rare cases of those who do. Most of us got fat the good old fashioned way…we ate too much.
What got me so fired up, you ask? This piece was posted on Facebook, apparently it is spreading like a grassroots fire. I have provided it here…
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defends and admires.
Is this how Obesity is protected by vilifying the Alternative?
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! “
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Tara Lynn

People can say that it is awesome that Tara Lynn is on the cover of a magazine. She is beautiful. Kudos can be given because they see a woman who may look a bit more like who they see in the mirror versus a Adriana Lima. I get that. But I also get that it is NOT healthy. To be honest, if I wanted to see chunky on display, I’d look in the mirror. There has to be healthy sizes in between, maybe something in the 8-14 spectrum. What I would consider to be the average sizes, or what I have been lead to believe is average by what I see around me. Pretending that heavy is healthy is a white lie that may seem innocuous when being said to your best friend, your sister or yourself but think of the ripple effect. One person tells another person who tells another person that unhealthy is acceptable. We spare hurting feelings but we are literally killing one another with kindness. Obesity is an epidemic…like the plague the only difference is that we pretend that it’s not deadly. We treat it as a social disease rather than an honest to goodness medical threat. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be a damn whale or a mermaid, I want to be a healthy human. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy. Why do we have to accept obesity as the status quo? What are your thoughts on the obesity epidemic?
Unhealthiness, Thy Name is Obesity
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2011/10/06