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  • Our Complacency Murdered Alton Sterling and Philando Castile

    Our Complacency Murdered Alton Sterling and Philando Castile

    I just watched the videos of the murder of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and I am sick and disgusted. I am fucking angry. Why does this keep happening? Why do we live in a world where it is acceptable, with only a slap on the wrist, for cops to kill people for nothing more than being black? Where we are actually considering actively electing a blatant racist to the highest office of our government and where the right to own a gun is more important than the right to live? What the fuck, America?

    As a human being, I cannot process the news lately and I can’t understand how intelligent people can keep allowing this to happen. The saddest part of all, none of this is new and that is what disappoints me the most. We’re a nation stuck on stupid and those of us who know better need to work harder, scream louder, fight stronger and stand together to stop this from happening again….and again….and again. I don’t want to live in this loop of senseless death and disregard for human life any longer. I am angry. I am past sad and have gone directly to furious.

    Alton Sterling, a 37-year-old black man, was standing in the parking lot selling CDs, as he had for years, when two cops, officers Blane Salamoni and Howie Lake, arrived on Tuesday night in response to a 911 call about a man threatening someone with a gun.

    Only Sterling was not brandishing a weapon, according to witness Abdullah Muflahi. Sterling did have a gun on him (but isn’t that what all the Second Amendment supporters have been fighting for?) but it was concealed in his pocket and not in his hand. By Wednesday morning Sterling was dead after a jumpy cop unloaded his weapon into his chest and protesters were in the streets of Baton Rouge.

    Update: Not even 24 hours later, Philando Castile was shot dead in the driver’s side of his car after being pulled over for a broken taillight in Falcon Heights Minnesota. When he was told to present his license and registration, he disclosed that he was licensed and carrying a concealed weapon. Before he knew what had happened, the cop fired on Philando Castile. His fiance Diamond Reynolds Facebook lived the aftermath. Castile was left sitting in the car dying, the cop still had his gun drawn on the car with the woman and her 4-year-old child still sitting in the car. Mr. Castile was guilty of nothing. His only offense was being born black. What is this world coming to?

    The thing is that is not enough. It can’t be one group of people or one city, we all need to stand up and say no more; as a nation…as a people…as the human race. We have to put the world on notice that we will allow no more reckless, senseless killings of our sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. No more.

    It’s not just about the cops, though there certainly seems to be a God complex that goes along with the protect and serve oath and why are some Caucasian cops afraid of black and brown men? Is it your racism showing? Is it your guilty heart of decades of treating other human beings like animals?

    Alton Sterling, gun control, cops gone rogue, Nakia Jones

    This problem, it’s about people. It’s about those of us who are allowing this kind of behavior to be tolerated and swallowed whole all the while it’s choking us to death. It’s about the people who are racist and allowed to take an oath to protect and serve a community and given a gun but who only want to protect and serve those who look like them. I thought they gave psychological evaluations before allowing someone to join the force? Are God complexes and racism not grounds for not allowing someone to be an officer?

    We can’t wish away this problem. We can’t just talk about it. We need to stand up against it. We need to put ourselves in the line of fire and take a risk to save a nation that is slowly killing itself. Complacency is a fucking disease and it should be a sin because if you are doing nothing to find a solution, you are part of the problem. Your silence is noted. I see you. Just as clearly as I see those who speak up, stand up and fight for better. Everyone sees you and your sin of silence just as clearly as we see those who perpetrate these heinous crimes.

    I cried when I saw the video of Alton Sterling being shot twice in the chest and 4 more times. I cried when I saw the video of Philando Castile bleeding out in the front seat of his car in front of his girlfriend and her little girl. I cried because this is the world we live in and this is what we’ve all come to not only accept but expect! I cried because I was angry and sick. I cried because these men were shot in the streets like animals. I cried for their families who lost him; children who lost their daddy. I cried for their parents, brothers and sisters. But mostly, I cried for the sheer terror and betrayal that must have been going through these men’s heads in their final moments when looking up at the very people who are supposed to protect us from the bad people, shooting them dead.

    Then, I saw this video of Officer Nakia Jones of Cleveland, Ohio and she gave me hope. Don’t feel hopeless. Do something about it. Watch this video and know that we are all just people. These cops that we hear about shooting and killing our children are not the only ones on the force, there are good guys too. There are officers like Nakia Jones who live their lives to protect and serve their community and they feel as strongly as we do that this is bullshit and has to stop.

    Be the change you want to see in the world! If you want to stop the next Alton Sterling from being murdered, challenge yourself to do more than just talk about it and forget about it.

  • The TRUTH behind Imagine Dragons Believer lyrics

    The TRUTH behind Imagine Dragons Believer lyrics

    My girls “anthem” sing Imagine Dragons Believer, at the top of their lungs,  every time it comes on the radio. I know the chorus. It’s a catchy tune but I never paid attention to the lyrics. I never listened to the words, not like I did this morning.

    The funny thing is as a tween/teen and even into my twenties, I lived and died by lyrics. I’m a writer, words mean everything to me. But somehow, as a result of my 13 years of living in a mom coma, from which I am just recently waking, those words have been reduced to just the choruses. But not today Satan. As I listened to Believer,  it was as if I was hearing the song for the first time ever and now, I can never unhear it. Nor do I want to.

    I’m glad my girls are singing it loud and fiercely because it deserves at least that. It’s a strong song of overcoming life and becoming who you are meant to be. It’s about persistence and growth and never giving up and it is beautiful.

    I was struck because, when I actually paid attention to the lyrics, it’s so familiar. It is my life. It’s everything I feel, believe and lived. I’m fairly certain most of us can. I’ve told my girls from birth that beauty is pain and it’s true, just as you can’t hate without love; you cannot fully comprehend beauty in life without having survived the pain. That pain is what makes you appreciate the beauty or notice it at all.

    READ ALSO: Girl Where do You Think You’re Going

    The pain in our lives that we survive, they make us stronger and make us fighters. We grow in our refusal to give up. We become better versions of ourselves, more sufficient; stronger. Not saying that I’d wish hard times on anyone but life is not for the soft and the pristine. In this world, you need to have experienced some pain in order to find the beauty to carry on because if there is nothing worth fighting for to lose then why bother?

    I, honestly, think that pain and hardship makes us kinder more compassionate people. I know that it can harden some but, personally, it made me decide if I wanted to fight or be a victim. Giving up was never an option for me.

    The simple fact is that life is hard and sure, it’s at varying degrees for each of us. We all have our strengths and breaking points. You’ve heard the saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle?” Well, I’ve had that saying thrown at me on many occasions in my life and many times I’ve wanted to say, “THIS IS my breaking point!” And yet, here I am. I bend. I don’t break that easily so I guess, he knows my breaking point. I can only guess.

    Each tragedy has made me stronger, more understanding of others,  more aware of my own limitations ( or my strengths) and they’ve left me with something to contribute on the subject. There is always a way to make your horrible experience a cautionary tale and save someone else from your same fate.

    READ ALSO: All I Can Do is Cry

    When you’re living through the pain, it doesn’t feel like there could ever be such a purpose for such physical and mind shattering pain but in retrospect, each horror I have endured in my life; every tragedy and almost moment of complete brokenness has made me stronger and better. Not that I want any more pain in my life but I can see its purpose now and I try to hold on to that when life starts trying to kick the shit out of me.

    Life is good. I am blessed, even in my pain because each hurt has helped me to help someone else. I share my pain and others know they are now alone. They leave comments and I can respond thoughtfully and honestly because I do understand. I don’t have to wonder what it feels like to be so beaten down. I’ve been there. I survived and that means they can too because I’m not special, by any stretch of the imagination, I’m just human.

     

     

    Imagine Dragons Believer

    First things first
    I’ma say all the words inside my head
    I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh
    The way that things have been, oh ooh
    Second thing second
    Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be
    I’m the one at the sail, I’m the master of my sea, oh ooh
    The master of my sea, oh ooh

    I was broken from a young age
    Taking my sulking to the masses
    Write down my poems for the few
    That looked at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me
    Singing from heartache from the pain
    Taking my message from the veins
    Speaking my lesson from the brain
    Seeing the beauty through the

    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
    (Pain, pain)
    You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
    (Pain)
    Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
    My life, my love, my drive, it came from
    (Pain)
    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

    Third things third
    Send a prayer to the ones up above
    All the hate that you’ve heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh ooh
    Your spirit up above, oh ooh

    I was choking in the crowd
    Building my rain up in the cloud
    Falling like ashes to the ground
    Hoping my feelings, they would drown
    But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
    Inhibited, limited
    ‘Til it broke up and it rained down
    It rained down, like

    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
    (Pain, pain)
    You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
    (Pain)
    I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
    My life, my love, my drive, it came from
    (Pain)
    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

    Last things last
    By the grace of the fire and the flames
    You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
    The blood in my veins, oh ooh
    But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
    Inhibited, limited
    ‘Til it broke up and it rained down
    It rained down, like

    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
    (Pain, pain)
    You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
    (Pain)
    I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
    My life, my love, my drive, it came from
    (Pain)
    You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

    I told you it was a powerful song, once you know the lyrics. What are your thoughts on Imagine Dragons Believer?

  • In the Face of the Unfathomable Pray for Humanity

    In the Face of the Unfathomable Pray for Humanity

    If you are the praying sort, please pray for humanity. I’ve not written about the situation in Paris until tonight because mostly, I was just trying to sit with it and digest it. I am having ripples of those same vulnerable feelings that overcame so many of us on 9/11. I am not an expert on what has happened, or what is going on in Syria, Beirut or any other place in the world where terrorists are wreaking havoc on our combined societal psyche but I am a citizen of the world.

    Here is what I do know. I have seen what ISIS has done. I have witnessed the videos of random beheadings. I know that a terrorist and a Muslim are not the same thing. A Muslim is a member of a faith and a terrorist is someone who strikes fear into the hearts of others with no remorse. A terrorist sneaks in like a lamb and then attacks without provocation. Above all else, I know that we are all humans.

    I know that terrorism is an act of cowardice and no matter who is in the line of fire, it is always a loss and we are all victims of the tyranny. The only way to overcome the brutality of terrorism is for those of us who have felt it’s wrath to rise up, band together and fight back. We have to be willing to make the sacrifice to stand up for what we believe in and be brave in the face of our greatest fears. We must believe in our purpose as much as they believe in their hatred.

    People all over the world are splitting hairs in the wake of this tragedy. Trying to make sense of such a senseless act leaves heavy hearts making rash decisions and placing unwarranted blame on innocent victims. This is what is happening. Fear mongering is creeping in, perpetuated by politicians and those who already had hearts full of hatred. Bigots are using this as an excuse to proclaim themselves righteous.

    The thing is this, we are losing sight of what is really happening. We are being manipulated. The terrorists are winning. If we live in fear and ban refugees from seeking shelter in our country, the terrorists win.

    Trump and other members of the GOP are taking this opportunity to push their agenda. Even with fear and sorrow in my heart, in light of the recent terrorists attacks, I refuse to believe that we must shut people out to keep ourselves safe. More stringent vetting before we allow anyone to cross borders anywhere, I get but shutting entire populations out because of where they come from is insane.

    Maybe my perspective is a little different because being a Latina I’ve already been on the politicians’ list of people who should be kept out. If we believe the politicians, all Latinos are rapist and drug dealers, all Syrians are members of ISIS and all Muslims are terrorists. The problem with absolute statements is that there are no absolutes in life. People are not an all or nothing sort of situation.

    I get it, we’re scared. We are all scared of ISIS and terrorism in general and we should be. They are dangerous, they kill without discrimination and they hate us but I think it is appalling that politicians like Trump would use this terrible tragedy to push a political agenda.

    How can we turn our backs on the people who need our help the most? How can we turn refugees seeking political asylum, which could mean the difference between their life or death, away and send them back to imminent death?

    I’ve written before about the Latinos coming to the United States to escape persecution in their own country; to give their children a better life. They risk everything to come to the United States to keep their children safe and give them a chance in life, leaving behind everything and everyone they’ve ever known or loved. The Syrians who are seeking refuge are doing the same. They want to live. They have warrior hearts and they need shelter from the terrorism in their own country.

    You know, not every Mexican is in the cartel and not every Syrian is a part of ISIS most of these people who are so desperate to cross our borders into the United States just want the chance to survive. How can we deny them that?

    Hearts are broken, faith shaken and fear has taken hold of us all but we cannot let that happen because if we do, we condemn those who need us most and we let the terrorist win. We cannot live our lives hiding from the what ifs because in the end, danger can always find a way. We win by retaining our humanity in the face of this crisis. We win by reaching out to those who need us the most and giving them a helping hand, not kicking them in the teeth and sending them home. Remember, over half of these refugees are children.

    Pray for Paris. Pray for Beirut. Pray for the Syrians. Pray for humanity. Pray for the whole world. Be safe. Do whatever you need to do to gain your bearings and then open your heart and remember who the true enemy is…ISIS not the Muslim people in general.

    I know you’re afraid. We are all afraid but please don’t let this change your humanity.

  • How Soccer & @CrestLatino Help Us #CelebrateCloser

    This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Crest and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions and thoughts are my own.

    #CrestLatino, Crest, Sponsored post

    In my family, nothing brings us closer than soccer. Shouting, “GOALLLL,” is a common explosion of joy in our house during soccer matches. We don’t care whose sitting next to us. It could mean a vuvuzela alarm or an unexpected kiss planted on a stranger’s forehead. So if you know you are going to be in that close proximity of a large crowd, freshness counts, in every way, especially your breath. Crest Complete + Scope allows you to get closer to people, providing you the confidence that comes from knowing you are covered and protected against bad breath. Because the further your team goes, the closer you get to those around you.

    We’ve been watching the games and rooting for Mexico. There is a pride we feel because our father is from Mexico. I even bet online by going to 메리트카지노. It’s been a lot of fun because my brothers have been coming over my house and we’ve all been watching it together. Then we get off the phone and call our dad. He spends 7 months of the year in Mexico, so it’s a big deal to him. Soccer has definitely been a way for our father to bond with his children and my brothers to bond with my husband and me to bond with my nieces and nephews. It’s also been a great way for my husband to bond with our girls. It’s the sweetest thing I have ever seen to watch my girls get all excited and join in when their daddy is excited about his team winning.

    Unfortunately, when you are dealing with children ( like animals) you are dealing with loose canons. The last thing you want is your 2 year old nephew telling you that your breath smells like hot garbage while you are gleefully shouting, “GOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL”. Talk about a buzz kill so I try to keep my teeth brushed and my breath fresh because it really is the best thing for everyone concerned. So, let’s all enjoy the next month of celebrating the small victories of the soccer matches, even if that includes broken vuvuzela apps and fresh minty breath.

    If you want to be confident and have fresh breath while bonding with your family this summer try Crest Complete Multi-Benefit Whitening + Scope Striped Toothpastes. They are the only toothpastes that combine the whitening power of Crest toothpaste with the freshening power of Scope mouthwash. They fight cavities, prevent tartar, and provide cleaning action to help remove surface stains.Most importantly, they give you the confidence to celebrate without worry that you might be less than fresh.

    If you go here now you can find great coupons to help towards your purchase. I love saving money on products that I actually use, don’t you?

    What brings your family closer together?

    This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Crest and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions and thoughts are my own.

  • Fear and Ignorance is What’s Killing Black Men

    Fear and Ignorance is What’s Killing Black Men

    Yet another African American man, Walter Scott, has been shot dead in the streets. Hearing this saddens me but seeing the video infuriates me. How many people have to die before we change what we will accept from law enforcement, from the justice system and from ourselves?

    A 50-year-old black man was pulled over for a broken taillight in North Charleston, South Carolina. The officer, Michael T.Slager, tasered Walter Scott who had warrants out for his arrest for not paying child support. Scott ran after being tasered. The police officer followed in pursuit on foot and then shot the unarmed man 8 times, in the back. Would he have done the same if it had been a 50-year-old white man?

    Then, it appears from the video, that the officer drops the taser by Scott. The same taser gun that the officer said the man had on his person; the very reason he felt threatened enough to shoot him. To add insult to grave injury, Walter Scott was left lying on the ground; face down, bleeding out while not one of the officers attempted to perform CPR on him. Officer Slager is being charged with murder. I’m glad. Still, there is no explanation for these events that can make any of this right for me. If seeing is believing, I’ve seen enough.

    My belief is this white cops are shooting black suspects because they are afraid of them. I don’t know if it’s because of some residual guilt over the inhumane way that most Caucasians have treated African Americans throughout history, instilled racism from their upbringing or just plain old ignorance that allows them to treat black people as less than and still sleep at night. Whatever the reason, I believe that some white people are genuinely afraid of black people simply because of the color of their skin.

    On the flip-side, I believe African Americans run from Caucasian officers because they are afraid of them too; afraid that their fear will cause them to overreact and use excessive force.Fear that their lack of respect for their basic human rights could put them in imminent danger. If history tells us anything, they’re not wrong. We’ve seen it happen. It’s not unimaginable. This is just my theory.

    How many more Walter Scott incidents can we tolerate?

    Everything about this sickens me, however, it no longer shocks me. This is nothing new. The only thing that’s changed is that everyone has a camera with a phone that takes video and social media allows us to share these stories instantaneously with remarkable reach. This has been happening for centuries and anyone who believes it hasn’t is fooling themselves. We are being forced to face the reality of our brutality. You can no longer be blissfully ignorant about the world because the truth is caught on video and shown to us. To say you didn’t know it was happening today, is to be a liar.

    I grew up in an African American neighborhood and in my world, this is how the cops have always treated African Americans. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. The world is an unfair place where fear causes men to do unspeakable acts in the name of self-preservation. Fear is a very effective motivator, even when it’s completely unfounded.

    I’m not saying that all cops are racist or bad people. Quite the opposite. There are many law enforcement officers who risk their life every single day to serve and protect their community but there are a few small men with narrow minds, who function on fear and power and have guns. These are the ones who make me afraid. The ones who can be more compassionate to a dog in the street than a dying man lying in front of them. Those who lack humanity and human compassion scare me the most.

    We know there is a problem. No human being should be shot dead in the street. I don’t care what color, creed, race, religion or sexual preference you have. We need to change. How many mothers have to lose their children? How many children have to lose their fathers? How many lives have to be snuffed out before it all adds up to too much?

    In my book, one dead human being in the street is too many. We have to stop letting fear and ignorance govern our reactions. Collectively as the human race, we need to say no more and develop a zero tolerance policy for the brutality and abuse of power that we currently accept as status quo. This is unacceptable. This is not the world that I want for my children. Our children deserve better.

    What are your thoughts on the Walter Scott shooting?

  • September 11th ~ A Mother’s Vulnerabilty Exposed

    September 11th ~ Vulnerable. Like an open wound, that is how I would describe how I felt when I woke up this morning. There are instances in life that are so shocking, so painful and profound that you are stunned that they are actually even taking place. These are the events that your brain may willfully try to forget but you cannot because those same events are imprinted on your heart forever. We all have these moments. September 11, 2001 is one of those days. It is a day I will never forget.

    I don’t want to write too much about September 11th this morning because I’ve written about it before. I just want to share with you this morning. This morning, I woke up and immediately remembered what day it was. Then I remembered what I was doing that beautiful day in September 12 years ago.

    My husband was in Pennsylvania traveling for work and I was walking into my office at the small publishing house where I edited in North Carolina. I was 28 years old at 8:46 when I walked into work just in time to see the first plane hit the tower. I was stunned. All the air was sucked out of me. We sat in silence and then my first reaction was to call my husband. I desperately needed to hear his voice. I couldn’t reach him. The phones were down. I never felt so alone in my entire life. A nation full of people sharing a single event and I felt completely alone in my grief, my pain and my fear. I know that I wasn’t but pain is personal.

     

    Today, 12 years later, I have everything. I have the Big Guy and we have been blessed with our two daughters. We have our health and are surrounded by love. Life has moved on in many ways for many people. We all fly again and we are learning to trust again. Our hearts are still heavy and cracked but no longer busted wide open. Only, maybe they are.  12 years later, I woke up on another gorgeous day in September and all it took was to hear sirens blaring past my neighborhood to send me into a full panic. My heart demanded that I not send the kids to school and I listened.

    You see, though my brain has learned to deal with the pain of September 11th, my heart is still fundamentally broken and it is still haunted by the grief that was there not so long ago. My heart would not allow my girls to leave my arms today. It felt like the right thing to do if not the logical one. I feel like we need to spend the day remembering those who were taken from us on that day, mourning their deaths, celebrating their lives and marking that moment in time. I think we need to stop and feel the full weight of our loss. This is how I process.

    I explained to my girls why I was keeping them home and what today was. They are 6 and 8. They’ve learned about September 11th in school but it’s not real to them; not the way it is real to all of us who witnessed that awful, horrible, heartbreaking day. They weren’t there that day when the entire world stood still and held its breath as terrorists put a gun to our united head. It was time. I showed them the video footage of the planes hitting the towers. We had a discussion. They now understand. There is reverence in our home today. We are happy to be alive. Blessed to be together and just a little nicer to one another.

    You will not see me on social media today because I can not read the stories. My heart is too heavy with sadness from the stories of the past 12 years, instead  I will be holding my children in my arms and thanking God that I am able to do so. Hug your children. Tell the people you love that they matter. Commit a random act of kindness.

    Today, I kept my children home with me because I can. Some mothers were left childless on September 11th  2001 and for them, today I am silent. For them, I pray. For all the souls taken too soon, I will live completely, love fully and never take a single day for granted to honor their memory. I will never forget.

     

    Please share your stories in the comments.

    What were you doing on that morning of September 11th?

  • Get Your Home Holiday Ready with Swiffer Bissell

    Get Your Home Holiday Ready with Swiffer Bissell

    This holiday cleaning tips post is brought to you by Swiffer® as part of a Type-A Parent Community Sponsored Post.

    Next Wednesday is Christmas; company will be arriving on Monday which means I need to get my house “company” worthy. That means putting away the clean laundry, clearing the counter of any dishes and dusting and cleaning the wood floors and then trying to keep it that way with company, kids, a dog and a Christmas tree that’s losing its needles like its job. Then we have also hired a cleaning company as this has helped so much in freeing up time (and not having to do tasks that we hate!) so we very much recommend them, they’re easily the best cleaners in Bristol so give them a look if you are in that area.

    I love when people come to visit but I hate the deep clean that I need to give my house before everyone shows up and worse, I hate the stress that it creates. Like the checking our roofing if there’s a leak and realized I have to call roofing contractors to have it fixed. It’s like a buzz kill for my holiday spirit. So this year, I am not going to worry about the deep clean. I am going to clean my house and if it looks lived in and loved on during the holidays, even better. Deep breaths.

    If you are a clean freak, Type-A, obsessive/compulsive cleaner like I am here are a few tips and tricks to keep your house looking company worthy all year.

    1. To pick up small pieces of broken glass, press pieces of bread onto the affected area.
    2. To get blood out of fabrics, use hydrogen peroxide. Apply it directly to the stain and then launder in the washing machine.
    3. To clean the bottom of the iron, sprinkle salt on the ironing board and iron back and forth.
    4. To clean a microwave oven, add four tablespoons of lemon juice to one cup of water in a microwave-safe bowl. Boil for five minutes in the microwave, allowing the steam to condense on the inside walls of the oven. Then wipe them with a soft cloth
    5. To remove fingerprints from stainless-steel appliances, place a small amount of baby oil on a napkin and wipe the affected areas. The fingerprints will just wipe away.
    6. To remove marker pen off hard surfaces, spray on hair spray and then wipe it off.
    7. To remove cat and dog hair from clothes and furniture, rub them with damp rubber gloves.
    8. To restore toilet bowls back to their shiny best, clean with old, flat Coke or Pepsi. To dissolve limescale, leave the soda overnight to soak.

    For my floors, the dreaded floors, this year I am using the new Swiffer Bissell steamboost. Honestly, I think it does just as good of a job as my Shark steamer but costs about half the price. I have tried everything on my floors to rid them of streaks and spots. I’ve even gotten on my hands and knees and scrubbed like Cinderella but still, a film remained. The Swiffer Bissell steamboost seemed to get rid of some of the built up film. I am interested to see what it looks like after a couple more uses. I can say that it definitely got up all of the salt residue left behind by my children’s snow boots. For exterior cleaning, I’m thinking about hiring cleaning professionals from a pressure washing nashville company.

    The Swiffer BISSELL® SteamBoost™ is a steam mop that deeply penetrates dirt and helps remove messes mops can leave behind. Fill it with water, attach a Steam Pad and plug it in. No other cleaning solutions are needed.

    The special Steam Pads have a steam-activated, dirt-dissolving cleaning solution that pulls dirt from surfaces and locks it away. SteamBoost™ is light, easy to use and safe on tile, finished wood and laminate floors. Do not use on waxed or unfinished wood floors.

    What’s your best tip or trick for cleaning wood or wood laminate floors?

    This sponsored post was brought to you by Swiffer®. For a limited time, get a $15 prepaid card when you purchase a SteamBoost Steam Mop Starter Kit between 11/24/13 and 12/31/13. Swiffer BISSELL® SteamBoost™ combines a dirt-dissolving cleaning solution with the power of steam for a deep clean that gets messes mops can leave behind. Also be sure to like Swiffer on Facebook and follow @swiffer on Twitter.

  • Do you Suffer from “The Other Shoe” Syndrome?

    Do you Suffer from “The Other Shoe” Syndrome?

    Christmas was a blur of warm fuzzy feelings and binging on family time. My cup runneth over. We cut back on the girls’ gifts this year but they still seemed to get everything they could want and more. My parents spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with us.  There were grandparents and new babies and lots and lots of love. There wasn’t even a Christmas Eve filled with wrapping sessions because, for once, we did it two weeks before. It was beautiful and magical and I even think I might remember some of it clearly but then the immediate overwhelming sense of impending doom infiltrated every fiber of my soul and I was still. So still that you could hardly notice I was there. I was hoping that disaster and doom would pass me by.

    I’ve been missing from the blog, social media and any online activity lately. Sure, I still wake up every morning and check my phone before I get up. I share and like and comment on my friend’s warm and fuzzy posts about the love of the holidays and then it happened. I began to read all the posts about being alone, going through divorce, losing someone, losing children, losing parents, being sick and dying of cancer, missing those who they lost and my heart nearly burst from sadness and then from guilt. How the hell am I so blessed when so many others are in such pain? Then I remembered how much pain I was in last year. My heart was broken. I spent nearly a year muddling through the fog and pain of surviving a shitty year. A monumentally shitty year and then I realized that last year I was the sad status.

    Then I began to wait for the doom. It sickens me that I can never enjoy happiness because I am always waiting for the counterbalancing hurt of life to even out the joy because no way life is going to let me walk around smiling like a happy, dopey dumb sonofabitch. Life is going to kick me in the balls. It always does, when I least expect it. I know happiness does not last forever but I so want to enjoy these little moments of happiness without worrying about the next bad thing around the corner. The sickness, the death, the loss, the pain and the hurt. So this is me, wishing all of you love, laughter and happiness. This is me trying to overcome my own neurotic state of impending doom. This is me enjoying the small moments of happiness that permeate the air and fill my lungs.

    May God bless and keep you all happy, healthy, and wealthy with warm beds and full bellies. May life smile upon you and may your children be safely in your arms, your love holding you tight and may you be blessed with all the love, prosperity and success that the world can muster because life is too damn short to worry about the impending doom that may or may not be right around the corner. The price of happiness is not doom. The price of happiness is laughter and a full soul.

     

    Image via Zetson

  • Hangry Wife, Unhappy LIfe

    Hangry Wife, Unhappy LIfe

    Hangry, are you familiar with the term?

    Hangry is when a person who is hungry becomes unreasonably angry. I call it my Joe Pecsi side. I can be the kindest person you’ll ever meet but when my blood sugar gets low, I get the shakes, I feel faint and I go from sweetie to full on bitch in a matter of seconds; like a rabid dog. I am short and my words are biting, no one is safe. As I get the cold sweats and perspiration beads upon my upper lip, all I can think, is Dear God, please let me get some carbs in me before I fall flat on my face or kill someone.

    Hey, you, you walking at snail speed through the grocery store on Tuesday morning. I don’t care if you are 85-years-old (carrying a newborn in a carrier or have three broken legs), I’ve not eaten in 14 hours and if you don’t move your brittle boned (exhausted, non-sleep having, hoveraound driving) ass, I am going to start chewing on your elbow. Think Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

    Enter doughnut. Enter compassion and patience and love. Hug a tree. Kiss a baby. Wipe an old person’s nose. Carry a spider outside. Smile at a stranger.

    Excuse me, ma’am, can I get that for you. Here, I will help you. I love the elderly ( new moms, disabled). ** I am seriously not myself when I am hungry. I go from Mrs. Hyde to Dr. Hangry in a matter of minutes. It’s scary. Luckily, the cure is a piece of food. God, I must have been miserable to be around when I was anorexic. (That was a joke and I can make that one because I lived to tell about it.)

    Well, a new study validates me. Low blood sugar makes couples more aggressive. 107 couples were asked to measure their blood sugar levels every morning and night for 21 days. Each night they were asked to stick up to 51 pins in a voodoo doll, depending on how angry they were at their spouse. The researchers compared this aggression level to the participants’ average glucose levels over the study period.
    The results proved that study participants with lower nightly blood sugar levels were more aggressive and pinned the voodoo doll substantially more. These findings remained true even after researchers controlled the data for relationship satisfaction. See hangry is real and it’s dangerous.

    Luckily for me, the Big Guy, never lets himself starve. He is the glue that keeps this marriage together because God knows when I go all Pesci, I get on my own damn nerves.

    Joe Pesci, Hangry, hunger marriage, relationships

    When I am hangry, I want to throat punch everyone including myself.

    Everyone gets upset at their spouse on occasion, that’s normal. People have bad days and some times you just need your damn space or the kids are being assholes or your husband refuses to pick up his socks for 5 years but self-control and maturity prevents you from going all ape shit bananas on them and attacking. Hopefully, if your husband says something stupid your first instinct isn’t to bash his brains in with a bat. But self-control is a limited resource (don’t I know it?) and each time you use it, you have a little less. When self-control stops, aggression starts. You replenish your self-control with energy, from food. So when you are starving and you’ve already used up your daily allowance of self-control, hangry enters like a Tasmanian devil and wreaks havoc on everyone in it’s path. You wouldn’t like me when I am hungry. It’s ugly.

    So next time you are thinking of juicing or starving yourself before a reunion or for bikini season, ask yourself this, are you feeling lucky? Because while nothing tastes as good as thin feels, nothing is worth dealing with a hangry person acting all Joe Pesci. Give that hangry person a piece of cake and tell them you prefer them just the way they are.

    You’ve heard the song, If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, better make an ugly woman your wife? Well, it’s because it’s better to feed your beloved and have her be a little less attractive than to starve her into waif thin model shape and have her take an ice pick to you over a piece of toast. The moral of the story is never discuss politics, religion, finances or those 10 extra pounds you want to lose or his sock on the floor issue on an empty stomach or someone might get hurt.

    Do you ever get hangry?

  • Maya Angelou Phenomenal Woman

    Maya Angelou Phenomenal Woman

    I am having a hard time gathering my thoughts about the news that Maya Angelou  has died. She was a great poet, writer and woman. My heart is completely broken at hearing she has died. She was a writer who inspired many of us with her words and what they meant. But she was one of my heroes of a handful of great women. I don’t have many heroes in this world but she was it. Through her words, she made me believe that I could do and be anything. She made the world a better place.

    She was a renowned poet, historian and civil rights advocate. She changed the world and the ripples of her life well spent will be felt for ages. She wouldn’t allow herself any limitations because she knew possibilities are endless if we got out of our own way. So many of us stop ourselves from doing, being, getting what we want out of life out of fear of failure. Not her, she stood there and held her ground.

    When I read, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, it spoke to me. I felt her pain. Our situations were different but I could relate to the shame, worthlessness and insecurity that she felt as a young girl. She became my hero when I read that book because I knew she was brave and strong and amazing.

    Life is hard and not kind to all of us. Some children need someone to make them believe in themselves either by words of encouragement or words of inspiration, she inspired me to go after my dreams. Her words were soft and hard and truthful and honest and she could see right through life’s bullshit.

    Maya Angelou, Poet, Civil Rights advocate, amazing woman, hero, deceased

    I read Phenomenal Woman when I was battling eating disorders and she made me feel beautiful at a moment in my life when I felt so ugly and undeserving.

    She wasn’t afraid to face the impossible to become who she wanted to be. She shattered all the limits. She reached millions with her words. She touched hearts and broadened minds and now she is gone and all of her words that I have read since childhood are flooding my mind all at once.

    I want to sob because it feels like I lost a wise grandmother who had all the answers to the secrets of the universe. It’s an unexpected and overwhelming sense of loss. She may no longer be with us on this earth but the world was a better place for having her in it for 86 years and I , for one, will keep her spirit alive by sharing her words with my daughters.

    Some of my favorite Maya quotes

     

    “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

     

    “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

     

    “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

     

    “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”

     

    “You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot – it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.”

     

    “One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”

     

    “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

     

    “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

     

    “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”

     

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

     

    “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

     

    “The race of man is suffering

    And I can hear the moan,

    ‘Cause nobody,

    But nobody

    Can make it out here alone.”

    “I want to thank you, Lord, for the life and all that’s in it,

    Thank you for the day and for the hour, and the minute. “

     

     “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

    “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

    “If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.”

                                                                                  ~Maya Angelou

    You will be missed in this world but your words will live on in our hearts forever. There will never be another Maya Angelou. They broke the mold with her. Rest in eternal peace, my hero.

    Maya Angelou April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014