The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Prams gone wild
Dear parents in Tooronga, Australia ( and the rest of the world for that matter) Please stay vigilant and engage all pram brakes when in the vicinity of all moving trains and train platforms. This behavior can induce an ‘incredible fright’ not to mention death to the baby in the pram! Please use the full force of all of your common senses.
Thank you,
Very Concerned Truthful Mommy
P.S. Grandma…You ARE FIRED!!!!
https://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=world/2010/05/26/pkg.aus.train.hits.baby.stroller.abc
2010/05/27
Mommy’s Flashback
I was just going over some of my posts from when I first started this blog, a year ago, and let me tell you…I think if you want a giggle…you should go here…now! Not to set the bar too high, but I found it all pretty amusing and apropos. I address everything from labor and delivery, pregnancy, to play dates gone a miss. Back then I had NO followers and I think its a shame that no one got the chance to read those posts. So be a dear and take a peak! You won’t be sorry.Happy Mothering!
2010/05/26
Fancy Nancy has nothing on my girls!
2010/05/25
Got Milk?

Apparently this is newsworthy these days. Interesting. I’ve seen a shot similar tot his many times. All along, I thought I was doing God’s work and feeding my daughters, not being pornographic and newsworthy. This is a picture that Modern Family’s Julie Bowen took of herself breastfeeding her twin boys. We’ve all got these pictures. It’s just something to commemorate the moment. In our minds, its such a precious moment to capture.She appeared on the View back in the fall and they would not air the picture, stating that it was too racy. In fact, they never even aired her spot. I’m not sure why she would want to share the picture on national TV but I certainly don’t think she had pornographic intentions when doing so. The big buzz about the picture comes after she appeared on George Lopez last week and the picture resurfaced.
‘Modern Family”s Julie Bowen Double Breastfeeds Her Twins (PHOTO, VIDEO)
How is it OK for Beyonce to dance around with her ass hanging out of everything on television but its pornographic to show a picture of two babies feeding? How have our values become so skewed?
2010/05/25
Bullies be damned!
According to the Concord Monitor of Concord New Hampshire,
On the short West Washington Street block where the police said a Concord High School freshman was bullied into getting a lewd tattoo on his buttocks, other students who took part said it takes “ink” and cigarettes to join their crew.
Their spot, nicknamed “Bell’s Street” after a family who once lived there, is where the police said a 14-year-old student was targeted because he was intellectually challenged and wanted to fit in.
One man, Blake VanNest, 18, promised the freshman that others would stop bullying him once he got “Poop D–k” tattooed across his buttocks.
VanNest arranged to have another friend, Ryan Fisk, 19, bring a tattoo gun, which had been used without a license on other students in the group. According to the police, at about noon on May 10, with others watching from metal folding chairs, VanNest and Fisk threatened the victim into kneeling against a weight bench, taking turns etching dark ink into his skin.
While VanNest and Fisk are jailed on $35,000 bail, their friends, some of whom have also been charged in connection with the incident, returned late last week to their spot on West Washington Street. Moments after the final bell rang at Concord High, they gathered to smoke cigarettes and laugh about pictures of their friends in the newspaper.
Neighbors complain of fights, loud music, littering and aggressive teenagers who refuse to move out of the way for oncoming traffic. Some feel uncomfortable about giving their names or calling the police, for fear of being targeted themselves. The police said officers who patrol the area keep a special eye on West Washington Street, but it’s one of many areas of focus.
https://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2010/05/21/pn.bully.vulgar.tattoo.cnn
Seriously what the hell is going on? What kind of world do we live in where we can’t even send our kids to school safely. This 14 year old mentally challenged boy was completely taken advantage of. Where were the teachers? I mean, even the crazy teacher beating students asses in Houston was a defender of the mentally challenged. If that crazy bitch was in New Hampshire, this never would have happened. If he was mentally challenged, aren’t there supposed to be aids and care givers within the school to watch over him and keep him safe from such predators? He should not have been left to his own devices to fend for himself against the advances of these men. I am speechless. I may have to stop watching the news. These criminals have no remorse and don’t seem likely to stop this behavior any time soon. Even if they did., it seems there are several others to fall into position and take over their place. What does it say about our society that we raise our kids to treat other human beings like this? Have we lost all compassion and humanity? I hope to raise my daughters to be more caring and empathetic of others; to aid and protect the weak not to prey on them.Absolutely despicable! I am outraged and embarrassed for these perpetrators.
2010/05/25
Love Letter to my 3-Year-Old
This is my love letter to my daughter on her third birthday. Three years ago today, May 21, 2007, I woke up anxious and excited, scared and elated. This was the day I would meet the most precious little lady that I will ever know. This is the day that I met my joy and sunshine.

Three years ago today, I left your big sister at home asleep with Grandma ChaCha while your Daddy and I quietly went off to meet you. But not before she gave you one last kiss before you entered into our world! She was so excited to become a big sister. She celebrated your arrival for the entire 9 months before she ever met you.

Three years ago today, our video camera decided to stop working and your Uncle Jeff had to drive his in from Michigan. He was happy to do it so we could commemorate your birth. Thank goodness or we would have missed filming the entire thing and then how would I show it to you when we have “the talk” someday? A mom’s got to have something left in her arsenal to add a little shock and awe to the tween years.
Three years ago today, I was told that you were too big for me to birth and that I was going to need a cesarean section but in an effort to birth you naturally, I endured several different embarrassing and uncomfortable positions to prove them wrong (and I did!) Can you say Texas Roll? With the help of a mirror and a nurse laying across my stomach, you came into the world just a little quiet and slightly purple with the cord wrapped around your tiny neck, just like your sister.
Three years ago today, my heart doubled in size to accommodate all the love that I had in my heart to give to you. I was so afraid that I’d short change you both in the love and attention department, but I worried for nothing. The love wasn’t split in half; the capacity to love doubled.
Three years ago today, my eyes cried tears of overwhelming joy when I first saw your beautiful face and so began a lifetime of stolen moments.
Three years ago today, our family became complete.
Three years ago today, Daddy held you in his arms for the first time and you melted his heart and wrapped him around your tiny little finger, all in the same second.
Three years ago today, Bella became a proud big sister and has loved you every moment since with all the love her little heart could hold.
Three years ago today, I became the Mommy of one of God’s most precious blessings.
Three years ago today (and every single day since)I looked down into the giant big blue eyes of yours and I fell deep into love with my Gabi!
Happy 3rd birthday baby! I love you ( and your sister) right up to the moon and back! No matter what, I love you! Even when you don’t like me…Mommy always loves you!
I Love you so much More than a fat kid loves cake…its insane how much I love you!
Today, May 21, 2010, I love you more than words can give justice to. Everyday that I am blessed to be your Mommy is the greatest day of my life! You are my sunshine, GabiLuci!
This is a love letter to my 3-year-old, what would yours say?
2010/05/24
You kiss your Mother with that mouth?
God knows I have two of the most precious, beautiful little princesses to ever walk the face of the earth but some of the things that come out of their mouths…well, not so princess like. For instance, this morning, this is what I heard at my breakfast table..
Gabs: “Me faaaarted!” (apparently, she was having a little issue with flatulence) .
Bella: “Gabs!!!! You don’t just fart and say ‘Me Farted” . You say, “Excuse me. I farted, OK?” ( almost like, do you have a problem with that.) Mind you I am sitting at the table absolutely losing it, I am literally in tears.. It continues on…
Gabs:”NO, me say- Me FAAAAARTED!” (Uncontrollable maniacal laughing ensues.)
Bella (completely unamused) “What are you going to do when you are in school? (She’s so mature just because she is starting Kindergarten next year. What a big girl!) “Gabs, you have to say EXCUSE ME!”
Gabs: “Why?”
Bella:”Because its rude!!” (She has almost exhausted her very last nerve. I seem to be familiar with that feeling).
Gabs: “WHHHHHHY?” (All exasperated and fed up with Bella’s nagging!)
Bella: “Because it Stinks!!”(Huff Puff)
Gabs: “Me NO Stink!”(completely indignant).
Bella: “What? Are you just going to fart and run away??”
Gabs: (So completely over the conversation) “Yeah, me run away!” And she got up and left the table!
I was in awe of this conversation because Bella was being so mature and trying to explain manners to her 2 year old sister and because Gabs was completely loving driving her sister bananas. She knows to say excuse me, she just thinks its funny to irritate her sister by announcing the fact that she has broke wind. Oh , my princess, I’m so proud of her fearlessness.
Gabs: She looks sweet, right? Don’t be fooled!
Bella: All business; no time for your shenanigans Gabs! I’m calling Daddy! You’re in trouble!
2010/05/21
If you’ve haven’t used in in two seasons…throw it out !
I’ve been watching a lot of Real Housewives lately..don’t know why. Maybe to annoy myself, maybe I’m bored, maybe its just so rainy and crappy out there’s nothing else to do but I did happen across a very important life lesson the other day. “If you’ve not used it/needed it in 2 seasons..throw it out!” So, I am going through purging my life of needless things today. Clothing, dishes, nick knacks, toys ( oh yeah even some of the kids stuff..some of the tough love feedback from last weeks post ..stuck), all slowly decreasing the clutter. I love it. I feel liberated. Then I realize, does this only have to apply to things? What about people? I know that sounds really awful but you know what I mean. Do I really need that FB friend who only really friended me ( in my personal FB not my fan site) to be nosey? I know its true because they’ve never said anything to me except the original “will you be my friend?” If we’ve not genuinely engaged in the last two years, I say I take you off my friends list. It’s fair, right? If you have been my friend over the past 10 years and you don’t know that I have a 5 and 2 year old….then I am eliminating you from my life. See how this works? If we dated a zillion years ago and God knows we absolutely don’t care what’s going on with one another…we shouldn’t be friends. If you don’t return calls consistently and anyone who has not been genuinely involved in my life via conversation or physically (one or the other or both) in the last 2 years, then I think we are not really friends and we should just eliminate one another from our lives.People are in our past for a reason, there’s is usually a good reason they are not part of our present, so why try to force a future? I know this sounds cold but I have always tried to keep all my friendships going all the time. It is exhausting! There are some people who you can go months without seeing each other and talking but you pick up the phone and time never passed. Those are the exceptions. Those are the real friends! And those people never let 2 years pass without checking in on you. All the other relationships are a lot of work and if they are not doing their part, then what’s the point of trying. It takes two in a friendship. I don’t want to impart upon my daughters that they have to be people pleasers and keep every friend they ever make. Sometimes we just outgrow one another and life takes different directions. There is no wrong doing in that. It is evolution. But sometimes we hold on so tight in relationships that we end up either making ourselves miserable or smothering the other person with our expectations, or both. So, I’ve decided to stop holding on to the past, and concentrate on the future. I am de-cluttering my life and making room for all the wonderful things that are to come, instead of trying to figure out the past. In the spirit of that here is a little something I wrote ( feel free to use it if you’d like);
Ode to a Shitty Friend
Dear shitty friend,
You used to be my closest friend~
But now , after years of friendship thrown down the toilet by you~
You are indeed the shittiest of friends!
We used to be like sisters~
Where there was one, there was the other.
I shared in your happiness,
I was your biggest cheerleader!
Your friendship was more valuable to me than anything else in the world.
Then, the time came when we had to grow up.
The friendship could have evolved, it could have survived, it could have flourished~
But you chose to cut me out of your life.
Returning only on occasions when you felt especially shitty about yourself and you needed me in your cheering section.
You were like some crazy friend version of a booty call.
You’d call when you needed a friend and disappear when you didn’t need it.
But when I needed my cheerleader, you were no where to be found.
When I needed guidance, sisterhood, love,support and friendship,
You turned your back on me;stopped answering your phone.
I kept waiting, even coming back for more.
I figured, you needed my friendship more than I needed my dignity.
Now, the calls have become few and far between.
Maybe once every year or so, you check in~
Just to make sure that I am not perfectly happy, you like to drop in and infuse my life with a little misery.
It’s OK. I don’t get upset and cry anymore,
I barely even care.
In sad reality, I expect nothing of you
And there lies our friendship, on the floor in a million pieces.
I don’t worry about you ever reading this,
I know that you wouldn’t afford yourself the inconvenience.
There is no benefit in it for you.
Thanks for the lifetime, but lets move forward.
I have children of my own now and I can’t keep stroking your ego,
And feeding your narcissism.
I am too tired, too old, and even less interested.
Please don’t call me inebriated, professing love and friendship
and making promises that you have no intentions of keeping in the light of day.
I have endured my last frustration and worry over you.
I wish you nothing but happiness in your life~
But I refuse to any longer try to resuscitate a friendship that is so long dead.
Yours truly,
Someone who is finally coming to their senses
Happy Mothering!
2010/05/19
Where’s that damn forest?
I’m looking over some recent pictures of my girls today and I notice something that stuns and really bothers me.Gabi looks like she is in a constant state of dishevelment ( this kid will not keep her hair pulled back. I can fix it 30 times a day and she still ends up looking like cousin Oscar from the Brady bunch, or Joey Ramone, or any other long haired Joey you can imagine). This is not acceptable. Bella never went in public with her hair looking in such a state.Speaking of Bella, my beautiful free-spirited, always giggling Bella, now in her pictures she looks like she is unhappy. She is smiling but the gleam that used to be there is not there anymore and it breaks my heart. She is a tough bird. She is definitely the suck it up and chin up kinda girl. You never see her down, she won’t let you. She makes the most of all situations even if they are less than desirable. She is her Mommy’s daughter in that way.But pictures don’t lie, she looks sad in the way only a Mama would know. She’s missing her friends, her school, her play dates, her life. But she won’t complain because she is so smart and she knows this is the situation. This should not be the concern of a 5 year old.I also notice that I am suspiciously absent from most pictures these days because, to be honest, I feel as if through this last move..I’ve lost control. I’ve reverted back to my workout clothes as acceptable public clothing ( which they are not unless you are actually in the middle of working out) , I never have time to workout ( adding more guilt because I feel like the worst role model on the face of the earth), my straightener who I was using religiously has given way to the ‘ponytail’. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that I want or need to do.It’s not Gabi’s hair, my absence of interest in how I look, that’s bothering me, its the fact that the hair is a reflection of what has been going on in our lives over the past few months.It’s the light gone out of Bella’s eyes, the genuine happiness she used to radiate. Here’s how it went down; Daddy has job, Daddy loses job, Daddy gets new job, we move across the country,job down sizes Daddy after 8 months, we move back to original home ( since it never sold) , Daddy gets new job, Daddy moves to Iowa, we stay behind because job is contract. It has been madness all the way round…crippling madness.The girls cry every other night for their Daddy to tuck them in, to play with them outside, to do all the Daddy stuff that he’s always done. I think I am doing an OK job of functioning normally when Daddy is gone but obviously not. I know it, the girls have caught on and I have to change it. But how do I force myself to pull it all together when I am seriously doing the best that I can with the cards I was dealt? To make matters worse, I can’t even talk about it to anyone because…my friends here probably think “Jesus, get over it. You are home.You should be happy”. My friends still living where we most recently left, well, I am bitter because I miss them so damn much and I am here and they are there and I feel displaced. Nothing worse than feeling like life is moving on even though you are not there:)Yes, the world does not revolve around me..once again I am painfully reminded. I can’t talk to my husband because I don’t want to lay that kind of guilt on him. I know him, he’d quit and come home but then where would we be? I just keep telling myself, the best thing for us is right around the corner. I know it.There is no way we’ve gone through all this over the past 2 years for nothing ( God, I hope not).I can’t talk to my family because quite frankly, if you’ve not been in the situation you can not imagine how hard it is. It’s like childbirth, even if I told you ,you wouldn’t believe it and even if you did..you could never fathom the gaping void it leaves in your world. Here I sit, writing it all out hoping to find some catharsis. I may not be able to fix this ‘situation’ but I can fix my reaction to it. So, tomorrow, whether I feel like it or not, I will be getting “ready” before going into public. I will make myself ,once again, a priority. Because, baby, you are what you think you are and if I don’t think I am worth it, neither will anyone else. But most importantly, I am making tomorrow Bella and Gabi Day, as will be every day from now on ( well, at least most days..once in a blue moon Mama may need to keep herself sane:). For now, I have to chin up and chest out. I’m bringing back that gleam in my baby’s eyes, no matter what it takes.I just wish it didn’t take me having to look at pictures to realize what was going on right in front of me. I guess its true, sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Happy! Last year before “the move” and all the chaos!
Messy hair, disingenuous happiness!
2010/05/13
Home is Wherever the People you Love Are
Home is More than Where You Live
Relocating~ The past few days were spent packing up our home; the house we’ve lived in since Bella was 5 months old. She is 7 years old and 4 months old. This is the house where I truly came into my mommy skin. It is where Bella crawled underneath the Christmas tree and stared up at the lights in complete awe. This is where we all had a lot of our firsts. It is the home where the Big Guy and I finally felt ‘home’. The home that Gabi was conceived in and brought home to and greeted by kisses and squeals of joy by her big sister. It will no longer be ours. It was the first home we lived in as a family. Soon, it will be where memories are made for another family.
I’ve been so caught up in moving forward & surviving the past 3 years of upheaval that I never let myself grieve for the loss of our home. Our. Home! The home where the Big Guy and I first heard the words muttered “ Mama & Dada” uttered from tiny mouths. The home where both of our daughters celebrated their first 4 birthdays will no longer feel the electric energy of both sides of the family gathering in celebration and love of our girls or my husband pouring every ounce of Daddy love into making the girls the birthday cake of their heart’s desire. My dad will never play his guitar and sing to my girls in that house. There will be no more annual Thanksgiving Rock Band marathons after turkey in our media room in that house. There will never be another Fourth of July spent in our back yard with all of our friends and family playing corn hole and having spontaneous water fights. I will miss all of that.
As I packed the sum of our life until now, I’d come across a binky, stuffy or some other newborn toy that I know we’ll never need again & my heart sunk a little thinking of the children I raised in this house and the one that I lost, who I will never see smiling up at me from the jumper in the bedroom door jam. The baby who I will never walk around our neighborhood at dusk, as the streets were flooded with our neighbors walking off the day. Sitting on the back deck sipping coffee with the man of my dreams, listening to the morning birds in the early sun as the girls sleepily found their way into our laps. Seeing the yard where the sign stood welcoming Gabi home reminded me of how I felt that day. The happiness and joy that I felt through my exhaustion at my two beautiful, perfect daughters. The neighborhood where both girls celebrated their first Halloweens dressed as the cutest pumpkins I have ever seen. The house where my girls made their first friends had first play dates and learned the value of a good friend. The back deck where the Big Guy placed a corsage on Bella’s wrist at the tender age of three for her first Daddy and Daughter dance just so he could set the standard of respect and love that our girls would demand from all men henceforth.
Home is All the Love that Fills a House
This home was filled with the laughter of the people we love so much, tears of joy and pain as we endured hurts and embraced firsts. The home where I had a 1 year old Bella toddle over to her Daddy and hand the Big Guy a card and a small box which held inside of it one of the greatest gifts I could give him, the announcement of our second pregnancy. Our home where the Big Guy got down on one knee and proposed to me, 11 years after our wedding just because I never got the down on one knee proposal of my dreams the first time. This is why he IS the man of my dreams. In our home, this is where the Big Guy encouraged me to pursue my dreams of becoming a writer and start this blog. He gave me the support to give it my all and the love to continue on even when I felt no one else was listening. He was my first ‘fan’, he is still my biggest fan and that means something to me.
This home is where the four of us became a family and learned the meaning of the bond two people share once they have children together. It is the house where I learned that my heart could walk around freely outside of my body and I could survive. It’s where I realized that marrying your soul mate means someone to share everything with and to bring you unfathomable joy but it also means that you have more to lose than anyone else. It’s where we learned that when you have a second child, your love and attention does not split; your heart and love double, at the very least. It’s the house where I learned that unconditional love is not only possible, it is by far my greatest privilege to be able to give it to these other three people and my honor to receive it from them. I am blessed beyond measure and thankful to have them to love, every single day of my life. A place cannot contain heart bursting unconditional love, heartbreaking memories and the feeling of really belonging, these all reside in your heart and that goes with you wherever you go.
When I pull away from our home that final last time later this week, I know I will cry for all the growing we did there; all the experiences we had together; gummy smiles and realizing our family was growing, Sunday’s when daddy had to leave, teaching the girls to ride their bikes and watching as they were born, then watching them grow from newborn, to toddler, preschooler and the first day of school. The beginnings of the growing up and letting go of the most important things in my life all started here. I’d like to take it all and put it in my mind on an endless loop, like a memory hoarder but then there would never be room for new experiences. I look forward to the next chapter of our lives together. I am excited and elated knowing that we will be in a home together, just the four of us again, going to bed and waking up and everyone being in the same house. I will cry when I say goodbye to the only home the four of us have ever known but I will be thankful for living the experience. Home is where your heart is even when your belongs are long gone.
Home is Where Your Heart Is
2012/07/02