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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • Throat Punch Thursday ~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism: Sheisty Bastards Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday ~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism: Sheisty Bastards Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism ~ This one is personal. You all know how I feel about being plagiarized. I think we can all agree that plagiarizing sucks. I’m not some Pulitzer prize winning writer, I talk about a lot of crazy off the wall shit and it’s not normally popular opinion or written in the usual rainbows and unicorns fashion, so when you plagiarize my intellectual property…it doesn’t take me too long to figure it out. Not to mention that I have taken some pretty extensive steps to catch plagiarist. Oh yeah, I’ve got my blog boobie trapped assholes. I’ve even written entire posts about how to catch a plagiarist and stop them from plagiarizing you.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism Not a Victimless Crime

    I don’t think that some people understand that I have ownership over my blog posts because I author them and when they take them without my consent and without acknowledging me as the true author, they are stealing. I don’t adhere to the adage that Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It’s not. The sincerest form of flattery to a writer is to pay her for her writing. When someone copies my thoughts, ideas, words and actions; when someone tries to be who I am by using my mission, my formula, my title and name…that is plagiarism and it pisses me off. It seems the more traffic I get, the more well known my blog becomes the more likely people are to try and hitch their wagon to my star. I’m not saying that there is anything special about what I do but it’s mine. It’s me! I feel like these plagiarists are turning all Single white female on me. It is literally happening almost on a daily basis at this point.I’ve written so many cease and desist letters that the formula is tattooed on my brain.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism is Real & punishable by Law

    This latest case of intellectual property plagiarism is what has my panties in a bunch today. Earlier this week, as I was perusing Facebook I stumbled on a Community page using my blog name The TRUTH about Motherhood. Did you even know that this was possible? Can you say blatant intellectual property plagiarism? This piqued my curiosity. I may not be a Dooce or Jessica Gottlieb but I’ve been around long enough for a substantial amount of bloggers to know who the hell I am. It always gives me a little knot in my stomach when I ever see my title used or very close to it because then I have to check it out to see what else it has in common with me. Imagine my reaction when I was reading the description of the page and it read;

    Witty, honest look at Motherhood from the trenches. The agony and the ecstasy of being a Mother, from pregnancy, through labor and delivery, to bringing the first baby home and to infinity and beyond. Where other mothers pretend to be Bree Van de Kamp,Truthful Mommy lets it all out there for the world to see. If 30’s the new 20, then imperfect parenting is the new perfect.

    I was trying to place the words. I went back through my posts and I saw bits and pieces here and there but not the exact quote.But I knew it had been said. I knew it was something I had said. Then I remembered, it is the verbatim description of my blog on the Babble top Mom blogger nominations. My head was spinning. Then I realized that they had labeled the page Community. To me, that infers that they are the community page for The TRUTH about Motherhood website ( which they are not) especially since they had the balls to use my exact description of my blog and even refer to TruthfulMommy( ME). I contacted them and they refused to answer and removed my comment from their wall. I reported them to FB for intellectual property infringement and they were forced to remove the description. Some of my followers also told me that they reported the page for being a duplicate. I think that since they refer to themselves as the community of The TRUTH abut Motherhood it is still under the guise of being associated with my site and should be forced to change their name, as well. We will see what Facebook does about the situation. I have made my feelings clear. I hope they have to change it or remove it in it’s entirety. This is just one more instance in a long list of times that someone has stolen my brand.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism Parasites

    Today, I am throat punching the hell out of PLAGIARIZING PARASITES. I make no bones about it, if you are copying someone else’s thoughts/actions/words give them the acknowledgment and link back, at the very least try to do so. I will not tolerate this anymore. If I find out that you are plagiarizing my intellectual property, I will go through the proper channels and I will take you down.

    Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the buttons tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon).

    *Just checked and the FB page for the “community” calling themselves The TRUTH about Motherhood has been taken down! FTW! Thank you FB for having some integrity.

    Have you ever been plagiarized? What did you do? Did you go after the plagiarist assholes who stole your property? Did you give them a throat punch? We need to keep an eye out for one another and let one another know if we come across one anothers material on sites not belonging to the original writer. We are bloggers hear us roar ( right before we throat punch your ass)! Fellow bloggers, let plagiarists know that intellectual property plagiarism will no longer be tolerated by any of us.

     

  • Social Media Works; You have to be Engaged to Engage Others

    Social Media Works; You have to be Engaged to Engage Others

    Social Media ~ I have noticed lately that there are a lot of big brands and companies out there who obviously do not fully comprehend the breadth and width of the social media reach. They’ve not been given the  social media handbook ( because it doesn’t exist) or they didn’t read it, at the very least they don’t understand the etiquette. It takes practice to make perfect when it comes to social media. No one, not one of us, on Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Youtube, Summify, About,Technorati, Myspace, Google+, Linkedin want to be shouted, preached at or commercial-ed to death. We don’t respond well to SoapBox media. This applies to individuals and brands. It’s social media 101, you have to be engaged to engage others. Big Brands are not the almighty OZ and we, the people, already have a brain. At the epicenter of all this engagement needs to be a person (a real life person) making real life relationships and having real conversations.THAT is how social media works.

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    Social media, twitter, flickr, facebook, social networks
    Photo Mirnabard.com

    Social Media Experiment

    This morning, my husband asked me to tweet out a simple request that people vote for Midmark Corporation to win the Dayton Journal Brand Madness competition. I’m not even sure what exactly they win aside from bragging rights but I love a challenge. When he asked me this, of course I obliged. When he asked me to do the tweet, the percentages were 6% for Midmark and 94% for the competition. Within in an hour, the odds were at 46% Midmark and 54% for the competition. Now, I’m not saying my tweets and FB requests of my followers did all of that but I think it’s too much to be called a coincidence. I think social media was working in Midmark’s favor. I did some research and on Twitter I have a little over 3200 tweeps that I tweet with on a daily basis. People that I engage and interact with and have real conversations. Each of them have anywhere from 100 followers to 200,000 followers. This increases my reach exponentially. Factor in the fact that they support me and vote or publicized the competition because I asked, it appeared on their walls and in their Twitter streams, and the reach is even larger. Midmark however has 374 people who follow on twitter. They do not engage actively every day and from what I saw, most of it is of the SoapBox variety. Tweeting out once every few weeks usually something that only other employees would be interested in reading. I have 900 total followers on Facebook  and Midmark has 180. I am by no means a giant in the social media field but I I know what I am doing. The fact is that my social media reach is greater than this multimillion dollar company. Doesn’t that seem weird? Well, it shouldn’t because it proves my point that people respond to PEOPLE not auto tweets, auto DMS, spam and certainly not Soap Box Media.

    Social Media Wins Again

    This is not Midmark’s fault. I love Midmark but it proves a point that no one teaches social media. It’s still too new and ever changing. It’s like parenting. You learn as you go and then you are able to use your wisdom to do better. I would like to demonstrate this for Midmark that they need a specifically social media savvy type person to handle their social media. They need someone who understands all that social media entails. It’s social media not Soapbox media, to get the most out of it you have to engage and be social. A publicity blast will yield no return or at least not the kind you might want. Anyone, brand or person, who just tweets one-sided and does not engage in actual conversation will not get the full benefit of social media.I don’t usually ask for votes for anything but I really want to prove that social media reach is strong and there is value in people who employ the skills to effectively navigate social media. Please help me to help Midmark win this branding competition by clicking on this link and voting for Midmark. It will only take a second. If you rally want to let the big companies know that we individuals with  social media savvy backgrounds are the way to promote their companies than add a comment after voting for Midmark letting them know that TruthfulMommy sent you. If it makes you feel any better, Midmark truly is an outstanding corporation who actually deserves to win. Voting is open until midnight tonight eastern standard time. They just don’t have the social media know how to let people know they are even in the running. Maybe I can prove the need for a Social Media guru. Thank you all so much for taking a second to vote. I promise it is a click on the link and then a click on the vote for Midmark. There are no forms to fill out. These big companies need to realize the value of social media and that it takes more than just a business degree and a few publicity blasts to grow your social media image. Help me prove that for social media to be effective, it takes people, like you and I, who sit at a computer, form relationships and hold conversations.

    Social Media Savvy Wins

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  • Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday,10-year-old Girl gives birth, Colombia

    10-year-old Girl Gives Birth, say what?

    What is the world coming to when a 10-year-old girl gives birth? Where have all the adults gone in this scenario? Why was no one taking care of this little 10-year old-girl? She is supposed to be playing with baby dolls, hanging out with friends and awaiting puberty. A 10-year -old girl should not be giving birth to a baby; she is practically a baby herself. There are so many deserving recipients of  today’s Throat Punch Thursday but I was particularly taken aback by this story, probably because I have daughters of my own.
    10-year-old Girl gives birth

    The headline, “10-year-old Girl Gives Birth in Colombia” is one that begs to be read and further investigated. According to Primer Impacto, a 10-year old girl who lives in Colombia, reportedly arrived at a hospital in the past week bleeding and in a great pain.This visit to the emergency room was her first prenatal care visit. The baby, which was full-term, required a Caesarean section in the birth, doctors told Primer Impacto. Perhaps this was because she is a child and her pelvic area is still growing not meant to be large enough to pass a baby through her vaginal canal, like a grown woman’s might be. Doctors said that she did barely understood what was happening in the moment she was giving birth. The baby was born a 5 pound 6 ounce baby girl that was 14.5 inches long. The mother ,herself, is only 4 foot 7 inches tall. It scares me even more that the baby was a girl because what does that mean? Perhaps, in 10 more years, we will read about her  giving birth or worse, maybe by then it will not be shocking but expected for children to be having sex and giving birth.

    The 10-year-old who gave birth is a member of the Wayuu tribe, an indigenous group in the La Guajira Peninsula in northern Colombia and Venezuela, which reports say has kept quiet about the pregnancy and about the identity of the baby’s father.

    Colombian authorities told Primer Impacto that they are considering various ways to address the girl’s pregnancy, and any charges against the father.

    Authorities said that the tribe follows its own laws, and that law enforcement and elected officials are trying to balance how to handle whomever impregnated the girl with showing respect for the tribe’s sovereignty.

    Respect for the tribe’s sovereignty? Where was the respect for this child and her innocence? Where was the respect for her body? Where was the respect for her childhood? Screw the tribe’s sovereignty, apparently they can’t keep their monsters on leashes.

    10-year-old Girl gives birth, no one protected her

    My throat punch does not go to a 10-year-old girl who gives birth.My Throat Punch goes to the very much deserving 15-year-old animal who had sex with a child and got her pregnant. It goes to the parents who did not keep close enough watch over their baby girl or protect her from the monsters of the world. My throat punch goes to the Wayuu tribe who have protected the identity of the animal who raped this child and impregnated her and who have decided that it was consensual sex. How can a child give consent on something she does not even understand? WTF? It also goes to the Wayuu tribe who probably will not prosecute this man. A hefty throat Punch also goes to our society who tries to rationalize co-ed sleepovers, children having sex at 11 and 12 years old,  kids thinking that oral sex is not sex and therefore its fine to do,  and giving condoms to elementary school aged children. If I hear one more lazy parent tell me that we need to provide children with condoms so that they don’t get STD’s or worse, get pregnant ( because lazy parents certainly don’t want to be bothered or burdened with grand kids) I just might scream. We need to protect our children, we need to talk to our children, we need to parent our children! **I am not talking to you parents who do it all right and explain sex, birth control and the consequences. I know there is only so much that we can do. We teach them but we can not be with them 24 hours a day. We have to parent and keep an open dialogue. If they don’t listen or heed our parenting, that is something different entirely. I’m talking about the parents who bypass the hard part of long talks and aggravation and go straight for passing out condoms.

    Why do we need to accept this as status quo? Why do we just need to let this happen? Giving condoms? You are helping it happen. Being too lazy to parent your children? You are helping this happen. I’m here to tell you that kids having sex at 11 and 12 is not normal. Teach your kids to have some control. Teach your kids some consequences. Parent your kids and teach them some morals. Protect your kids from the pedophiles and perverts that lurk. Teach your children that if someone tried to have sex with them when they are children, there is something wrong with that person…not that child. Let them know they can talk to you. We have to take responsibility for the state of our society. We are not helping our children by teaching them that it’s fine to be sexually active as long as they wear a condom. That is teaching them that they can do anything they want without consequence.

    This little girl is just a product of our society. She is a child who was taken advantage of and not protected, when she should have been. The problem is not 10-year-old girls giving birth. The problem is animals allowing 10-year-olds to be objectified sexually and other animals acting upon that objectification.

    Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up!

    What do you think about a 10-year-old girl gives birth?

    10-year-old Girl gives Birth, not the first or the last

     

  • Miranda Kerr, Mind Your Own Vagina & Stop Flaming the Fires of the Mommy Wars

    Miranda Kerr, Mind Your Own Vagina & Stop Flaming the Fires of the Mommy Wars

    miranda kerr, drugged baby, mommy wars

    Miranda Kerr, Mommy or Obstetrician?

    I didn’t realize that Miranda Kerr was not only beautiful, procreating with Orlando Bloom and an OB/GYN! Holy shit, talk about having it all. Wait! Miranda Kerr, you are not an obstetrician? You are just a woman who has given birth, like the rest of us but with a rocking Victoria Secret body? Well, then please keep your medical advice to yourself. I will however take your beauty advice. When I was pregnant with my first child, my obstetrician told me that there are no awards for going through the most painful childbirth; there is no trophy and your child will not love you more. However, Ms. Kerr she never told me that my kid would be “drugged up”, I’d be a sissy if I took an epidural and you would be an infinitely better mother than me. Maybe I would have chosen differently. Probably not, but thanks for bringing it to my attention. Mind your own Vagina, Miranda Kerr.

    Actually, I had greatness thrust upon me. I had an unwanted natural labor because my anesthesiologist was in surgery when I was in labor. Did your eyes just get really big and did your vagina start to hurt? Yeah, imagine how I felt. I got my epidural at 10 centimeters dilated. It was recommended that I just forgo the entire thing but I was in such pain and desperation that they gave it to me at 1/2 strength. Hell, it may have been a placebo but damn it I didn’t care at that point. I vaguely remember the anesthesiologist telling me the risks and something about the possibility of never being able to walk again. Anyone who has ever experienced transition labor unmedicated knows, I didn’t give a shit if I couldn’t walk again. I just needed the pain to stop. He could have offered to put a bullet in my skull to stop the pain and I would have happily agreed so long as that pain stopped. So, Miranda Kerr, I give you props you are no sissy. You willingly and purposefully gave birth unmedicated. Go you but that does not give you the right to tell the rest of us mothers how to give birth. Mind your own vagina, stay out of mine.

    Miranda Kerr, Stay our of my Vagina

    I had to survive the entire transition labor unmedicated. UNMEDICATED.PEOPLE!! That may be all well and good if you choose it and are mentally prepared for the pain but its not the kind of surprise you want to have happen to you at the hospital. It hurt, a lot.A.LOT!!!  I wanted to jump out of my hospital window and kill myself to stop the pain. You see how giving birth is a near death experience for the mother? I’m pretty sure had I done that, it would have more adversely affected my baby’s start in life than taking the epidural. The epidural is what stopped the pain enough for me to stop considering jumping out the window and focus on bringing my beautiful baby girl into the world. You are not a doctor so shut your mouth and mind your own vagina, Miranda Kerr.

    Being a mom is hard enough without other moms judging us for our parenting choice, little lone our pregnancy or birthing choices. I guess there is no time like the moment of conception to start the Mommy wars. Miranda Kerr, I think it’s awesome that you made a choice and stuck by it. I don’t judge you for your choice in childbirth. I, however, chose to have the epidural because it was the best choice for my child and myself. It was the best way I could survive childbirth. It was the best thing for my child because the less stress on me, the less stress on her. You chose differently but it’s just a choice and yours is no better than mine just because your have a bigger platform to make your choices heard. Being a celebrity doesn’t make you an authority.

    Miranda Kerr, Mind your own vagina and I will mind mine.

     Photo

  • New Baby? Top Things to Learn Now About Sleep

    New Baby? Top Things to Learn Now About Sleep

    Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

    I just had a dream last night that I was pregnant.Yeah, it was a pretty weird dream considering that it’s actually impossible, since the great partial hysterectomy of 2018. Not having a uterus makes it pretty much impossible to be pregnant. But, it reminded me of what it was like to be pregnant and becoming a new mom, all those years ago. Those early months of being a parent can be the foggiest of your life. I, honestly, didn’t know which way was up a lot of the time because I was so damn exhausted. Having to try to navigate, keeping a kid alive while keeping yourself organized at the same time is no easy task. It doesn’t leave much space for sleep, especially when your newborn is making your sleep as broken as physically possible. Don’t even get me started on the colicky newborn sleep nights. Trying to learn the way another person sleeps is not easy even if that person has come directly from you. Sleep is one of those things that you expect to lose out on when you become a parent, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to truly comprehend how much sleep you will actually lose or what that can mean for you as a new mom… and that’s coming from a lifelong insomniac.

    When you’re a mom, everything becomes about survival, and sleep is a big part of that survival. You think about when you can nap, about how long the baby is going to sleep through the night, how often you will be waking up to check on their breathing patterns. Babies are brand new to the world and you are learning about them as much as they are learning how to be human beings. The thing is, that’s little consolation when you’re so tired that you can’t see straight. There are guides such as Baby Sleep Positions: The Complete Guide For Parents that can help guide you through how to understand the ways that babies sleep, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy. You can anticipate broken sleep and still be in shock and awe when the reality of sleep deprivation hits. Just because you chose to be a parent does not mean that you could have anticipated the gravity of what sleep deprivation can do to your mind, your mood and your health.

    If it helps in any way, just know that sleep deprivation has been used as a torturing device in wars, so you’re not alone in feeling like you’re being cruel and unusually  punished. As a new mom, there are lots of things that you’ll be learning and experiencing about motherhood for the first time. Sleep, for baby and mama, is a crucial part of surviving that process so let’s take a look at some of the top things that you need to learn now about how your baby will sleep.

    Top things to learn now about newborn sleep

    • Sleep deprivation is very dangerous. You can joke about leaving your car keys in your car, or leaving the chest freezer open in the garage, or falling asleep on the toilet due to lack of sleep but what happens when you are so tired you leave the baby in the carseat in a hot car? It’s scary and it’s dangerous. Severe and prolonged sleep deprivation can cause depression, hallucinations, memory loss and high blood pressure. Not only that, it is exhausting to try to live on very little sleep. Ideally, you’ll be sharing this sleep deprivation load with a partner, but if you’re trying to navigate things by yourself ( and even with help from your partner) then you’ll definitely need to call in some reinforcements in terms of friends and family to have some extra help.
    • Parents often lie when it comes to their baby’s sleep. We all want to pretend we’ve got our mom shit together. If you ask a new parent how their baby is sleeping, they will tell you that their baby is sleeping just fine. But what does “fine” even mean for most people? I can tell you from my own experience, it sure as heck didn’t mean sleeping through the night. It mostly meant, at some point during the night they passed out and then I passed out and none of us died before the next feeding. But it most certainly did not mean we all had a massage and fell asleep at 9 PM and stayed asleep until 8 am the next morning. I never could have told that lie, the baggage under my eyes would have ratted me out. Newborns are not designed to sleep through the night. They have tiny tummies that need feeding every couple of hours, and they require cuddles and contact because they’ve just spent nine months suspended in animation in the coziest womb ever. Some parents feel the need to exaggerate that their babies are getting enough sleep so that they feel like they are competent parents when actually, it’s pretty refreshing if somebody just tells you the truth. Then, we know we’re all in this gangsta ass mother hood together just trying to survive. To be completely honest, when I had 2 babies, 2-years-old and under, I really thought I was going to die from lack of sleep. I survived on coffee, delirium and a partner who helped me up when I thought I could no longer soldier on. 
    • Solid food will not force your child to sleep. So many myths and legends of old parenting will tell you that if you put something heavy in the baby’s tummy, they will sleep for longer. But this doesn’t actually work. Sure, they might drift off into a high sugar, carb coma but that’s not healthy.at.all.Firstly, they’re not designed to sleep through the night. They are babies, they’re not built FORD tough. They are designed to wake up regularly as a survival instinct, to fill their bellies and train you for the zombie apocalypse. Secondly, putting solids into the belly of a newborn baby can lead to a lot of gut issues later on in life. You could also be exacerbating reflux issues and other pain issues that your baby may end up having. Why? Because baby tummies are not designed to hold solid food until beyond six months. There is plenty of research to back up this fact.
    • Great nap times are not an indicator of great night times. Hell no. In fact, you’re baby might just be getting their days and nights mixed up and that’s a whole new level of cruel and unusual torture. Just because your baby sleeps during the day in solid nap time chunks doesn’t mean they’re going to do the same thing at night time, in fact, the opposite is probably true. Oh, in your exhausted state you’ll be tempted to let them sleeping babies just keep on napping but take it from this seasoned mom, don’t do it.  One of the best things that you can do is to put your baby into some kind of a routine that’s based on them and not based on what you believe they should be doing. For example, overtired babies don’t sleep very well, and you’ll notice that within 90 minutes of waking up, your baby’s going to learn to understand your baby’s sleep cues. 
    • Routine is a good thing. Bedtime routines work, but it has to be dependent on what your baby’s wants and needs are. You could try to put your baby down before a certain time of night, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to instantly learn to recognize this as nighttime bedtime. A good winding down with a bath, lavender lotion massage, and story at bedtime is perfect, so just make sure that you are sticking to the same order so as they get older they will learn that this is what they’re bedtime routine is.
    • Babies will always fall asleep when they are tired enough to do so but to be able to drift off into a peaceful slumber is the real goal. If you manage to get your baby off into a nice deep sleep and put them into their crib successfully, then congratulations to you because this only happened because they felt safe and comfortable enough to do so in your care. Believe me, many a night I silently, army crawled backwards out of my daughters’ nursery like some sort of James Bond supervillain so I know, it takes some time to get the process working. 
    • Breastfeeding can help with sleeping. Breast milk is packed with melatonin and as a naturally occurring human hormone, the levels of this hormone increase towards the evening. Those nighttime feeds are packed with all of the good fats and melatonin that your child needs to fall asleep. As our melatonin starts to rise in the evening and reaches that peak in the early hours of the morning, breast milk is melatonin. Breast milk can be quite magical in that way. 
    • Keep the environment dark. Lighting and devices will always interfere with baby’s sleep.I recommend room darkening blinds or blackout curtains. I never had a nursery without them.  If you’re trying to put your baby to sleep, leave your phone behind. Sure you may be tempted to try to multitask during those 3 AM hour long feeding and rocking sessions but try to avoid the phone because that blue light will be shining in their face as much as it will be yours and you both need your rest. 

    The important thing to remember is that this is temporary and it won’t always be this hard. If you can remind yourself of that from time to time in the early days, it will change your perspective and make it all feel a bit easier. The most important thing is that you and baby get enough rest to live and love and fight again the next day. Motherhood can be really hard and sometimes a bit miserable but then, it’s filled with little hands hugging your neck, loving you unconditionally and even the occasional moments of unadulterated bliss. Take from this mom of a 18 and 16-year-old, with one heading off to college in the fall and the other one about to graduate from high school, I would not trade one second of my exhausted front row seat in their childhood for any amount of sleep. From me to you, motherhood is very hard but it is also very worth it and never forget, you are not alone; we’ve all been where you are.

  • My Daughter Turned 18 and Graduated – Now What?

    My Daughter Turned 18 and Graduated – Now What?

    Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

    Happy Throat Punch Thursday to all who celebrate (shhh! I know there’s a lot of you.I saw your DMs)! I’m here to announce that Throat Punch Thursday is coming back, baby! This Maycember shit is for the birds and personally, I’m glad it’s just about over. But, bitches I was harshly and disrespectfully scathed. The past week has been a gut punch to my mama heart and that was hard but expected. But, ladies, the last 24 hours feels like the universe punched me in my throat. By the way, I can tell you from my perspective, I’d prefer to go through my mom life transition without the side of empty nest syndrome. Anyways, now that my very important PSA is out of the way, I’ve got even bigger news.

    June is for new beginnings and I’m rebranding. Not the SOSDD (same old shit, different day) superficial update. I’m reinventing the blog ( mine, not the concept). 

    Sadly, as of 8:38 PM on Wednesday, May 21st, in the year of our Lord and Savior 2025 I can no longer officially hold my title of “mom to a child”. She is de facto an adult.

    GASP* ( I fucking hate it here sometimes)

    Go ahead and be shocked. I am. I might throw up. Maybe I already did. Maybe that was the Mounjaro. Maybe it’s my allergies. Maybe it’s my Sunday Sads on a random Throat Punch Thursday. Girl, maybe it’s Maybelline. I don’t know. I just know that my eyes have been leaking a lot lately.

    My baby girl, Gabs, turned 18-years-old (tbh, in a Latina household “adulthood” doesn’t mean anything but more responsibility. We’re not so good with the “letting go” parts of parenthood and forget about this whole empty nest syndrome shit. I’m not about it -training wheels, rememba? In fact, as a culture, we welcome our kids to live with us for as long as they want so…girls, you have it here in writing. If this is what empty nest syndrome is all about- that’s a hard fuckin pass. I tried it. I’m not sure I like it. I prefer to think of it as launching adult children. I’ve always been a training wheels mom but I feel my inner launch pad mom begrudgingly making her way to the front.

    Then, on May 23rd, just to make the point crystal clear, she had the friggin ( why do I always imagine myself to sound like Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny when I say that word) AUDACITY to graduate from high school (that’s a different post for another day when I can get my shit together long enough to not be a verklempt cry baby. For now, I’m just going to bite my lip, turn my trauma into comedy gold and vagina the fuck up! YEEHAW Mothafuckas!)  

    Yeah, I said “AUDACITY” ( I also said a lot of other out of pocket words in the previous sentence..oopsie #NSFW). Guess what else? All of this motherhood business is going too fast and I’m not ready for retirement so I’m gonna do what every ADHD woman, man and child knows to do….

    PIIVVVOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! (IYKYK)

    I’m not going to give away all the goodies right here, right now…you know I’m a blog tease. J/K I’m a little touchy feely at times but I’m no tease. I always deliver with my whole ass in it. 

    My children and I were raised right here, on this blog. They grew up. I evolved from a brand spanking new wife and “mommy” into this seasoned warrior mama bruh bear. I don’t often wear a cape but when it comes to my girls, there’s not much I can’t or won’t do. Leap tall buildings, lift semis, do TikToks in matching pajamas ( in public ) just because they wanted to. Y’all didn’t think I was just born a (neuro) spicy, Latina Trad wife from Chicago, did you?

    I feel like I’ve graduated to the next level of motherhood. You guys, I raised really good human beings and I am no longer “mommy” on most days. I’m so proud of who my girls are becoming and more importantly, they are chasing their dreams.

    Let me reintroduce you to myself, “ Hi, my name is Brah”, ( my girls think that joke is UBER funny because 1. They made it up. 2. This one time a cast member at Disney World asked me “Why do they call all Deborah’s Deb? Why not just Brah?” Cue hysterical tween laughter and here we are years later, left behind – like the discarded “brah” I am.

    Let’s just say we’re going to be The TRUTH about Motherhood 2.0 Life perspective through mom goggles from conception to college and beyond. Because, ladies, ( come in closer so you can hear this) its. Not.just.about.them! YOU MATTER TOO! This is going to be my ME Era.

    What does that mean for the blog? We’re shifting towards sharing more about where we are now ( a mother fucking motherhood cross roads, in case you’re wondering.) Who am I? Where am I? What in the ever loving shit am I supposed to do with all this motherhood to give and no “children” who need mothered? 

    It feels like I’ve been sent to the benches— by my own kids, no less ( the fruit of my womb). Retired. Expired. 

    What am I supposed to do with all of this fucking “me” time? I haven’t had “me” time since 2005! Wait, no, that’s wrong. I haven’t had “Me time” since that 1 month in 1997 when I was single and lived alone. 

    ONE WHOLE MONTH. 

    This is my mom life transition and I’ve chosen growth and evolution because apparently, revolting is frowned upon. Unfortunately, that may be easier said than done because I don’t believe that my ADHD brain was built for boredom ( or letting go). I wish people would stop talking to me about empty nest syndrome. Hopefully, my object permanence swoops in and saves the day.

    Ladies, we’re still young. I’ve got at least 53 more lives to live. I need a new purpose and to get back to ME ( the unfiltered original — yes, believe it or not, I have been using my inside voice all of these years) the woman I was before the Big Guy and our girls came along. Where the fawk is she? What happened to her? Did I leave her at Purdue? Maybe I lost her somewhere on vacation? Nope, I’m still here buried beneath the rubble of years of martyrdom and servitude. 

    I set the bar so high for myself in everything I did in life that I only ever felt like I was failing. I realize now that I wasn’t failing; I was doing my best ( and according to my husband, that’s better than most). 

    It only took 26 years of marriage, 20 years of motherhood, perimenopause, my impending induction into the “coolest mom ever”( according to my teenager who wanted Starbys) parenting hall of shame, zero fucks left to be given and my headfirst deep dive into my dreaded season of letting go. 

    I can see the headlines now, “Training Wheels Mom Exchanges Her Wheels for a Launching Pad, Dies in the Process”

    Oopsie, I guess today’s Throat Punch Thursday post will be going live later today. Stay tuned. And, now that I’m back, remember to subscribe for more straight up truths about navigating this next beautiful season of motherhood/ womanhood/sisterhood. Time to step into our power, bruh! We ride at dawn.

  • Ahhhh…Peace and Quiet

    I want to be on that boat….somewhere off the coast of Puerto Vallarta! Doesn’t it just look like its quiet and peaceful? Like you could actually hear yourself think? Maybe read a book? How about finish your own drink without someone asking if they could have a drink? LOL I’d just like to know that my honey and my girls were back at shore waiting to “wring my neck” and love on me in the loudest possible way they know how.Life is good!

  • Chronicle of a Drama Queen

    My daughter is 5 years old and has an ever expanding vocabulary. It is very impressive to me that my five year old uses such phrases as “apparently”, “vehicle”, “actually”, “FYI”, and so on and so forth and she uses them in perfect context. Sometimes though she still has a little difficulty. I give her credit for trying and I thoroughly enjoy her faux pas. The other day, she had taken a spill in the driveway as she was excitedly running to greet her Daddy when he got home. Her sister and she were bolting out of the door , very much like two horses bolting out the gate at the races, when there was a flurry of legs, feet, and arms…all entangled, bringing the festivities to a screaching halt. Poor baby, she had road rash on her knees and elbows and her sister was miraculously fairly unscaethed. After , what seemed like hours of cleaning,bandaging , and kissing booboos. Through tear stained cheeks, with the utmost seriousness, my five year old looks at me and says, ” Oh Mom! I hope I’m not going to look like this for very long. I can’t go to Brianna’s (my neice) CONVERSATION (confirmation) looking like THIS!!!!”

  • I’m HARDCORE!

    I 3 weeks ago just received this beauty from the awesome Ms.J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com, who happens to be one of the most hardcore chickies I know. I have been so wrapped up with all the craziness that is my life  my Mommy/wife duties that I completely forgot to post it and pass it on. Be rest assured, ~J, I am so honored to be the recipient of such an awesome award. Thank you for thinking I am , indeed, hardcore! I’d also like to thank my husband who has left me with this single mothering gig throughout the week, which is indeed making me more hardcore by the minute:) Thank you to my girls, without which this would be a blog about nothing. Most importantly,thank you to my readers…YOU are Hardcore and I love you all!!
    The ‘rules’ of The Hardcore Award are going to be…
    Link and list 5 (or less) people who you think are awesome, amazing and rockin’ and then share a few things that you think make YOU awesome!  I think that people are so used to being humble and don’t want to seem narcissistic but Mami thinks EVERYONE should think they are awesome and amazing and rockin’.  Maybe your an amazing baker or you have a great butt…whatever it is…tell the world and feel good about it!  Yeah!  Oh and you need to let them know someway (a comment is prob easiest) that you have awarded them.”
    What makes ME awesome? I think I excel at all that I do, when I am not overwhelmed and failing at it! I am an overachieving multitasker and a perfectionist. I  am a big boobied hot mess who loves with all that she is, makes a fool of myself on a pretty regular basis to make those I love smile.I am honest to a fault, masters wielding intelligent , fashionista when I have the time and desire so not too often anymore, hardcore effin MOMMY, WIFE, FRIEND, and BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE! Oh yeah, and I am Modest…very Modest!
    I think if you read my blog-you must be hardcore-but I’m gonna adhere to Mami’s rules hook up a few specific people!
    • Mrs.Beer@https://thebreweryblog.blogspot.com/
    • Peryl@https://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum
    • Jennifer @ https://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/
    • Gucci Mama @https://www.mamastillwearsgucci.com/
    • The Vegetable Assassin @https://vegetableassassin.blogspot.com/

    I know its probably faux pas to give the award back to my giver but I just want to say, ~J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/ really is awesome. Please go check her out. Her blog will leave you in stitches and she always has great giveaways! Happy Mothering all!

  • Bella-isms

    We all know  my girls say the craziest things, especially me 5 year old. Here are 3 from the last 24 hours.Enjoy!
    Me(on the phone with my hubby): “I don’t know, I think maybe I have PMS.”
    Bella (my 5 yo)”No, you don’t!”
    Me:”What? What are you talking about? How do you know for sure its not PMS?”
    I am obviously fishing for what the hell exactly she thinks PMS is.
    Bella:” Well, you’re not coughing and sneezing and all that.SO, its not PMS!”
    Me: LMAO!!!! Obviously she thinks PMS is code for a cold. I guess that’s what we get for spelling everything in front of her!

    A little earlier today we were out shopping. Mommy needs some new shorts because last years are too big (Yey!) of course, as stated in the previous example, it was the worst possible week of the month to try on clothes. Anyways, I’ve been in a bit of a funk and thought what the hell I need some retail therapy! As I am trying on shorts, 2 sizes smaller than last summers, I am leery if they are going to fit. Eureka, they fit but it depended on the style as to how they fit. I’m trying them on and a little flustered by my water retention. When I hear Bella say, from the corner of the dressing room, “Good luck with that!”
    Me: “Good luck with what?” Bella: “Good luck getting those suckers to button!”
    OMG,she’s like my conscience walking around taunting me. I laughed so hard, there was no way I was getting those suckers buttoned. You just can’t suck it in when you’re belly laughing.

    After the shopping, we hit lunch. My girls love Sonic, I can’t, in good conscience, eat it. It’s so fattening. But what they really love more than the food itself is the act of eating in the car, the taboo of being released from their car seats and eating freely. So, we compromised and I took them to Wendy’s for a cheeseburger and some milk and we ate in the parking lot. Oh, if you only knew how badly I hate that. It’s one of those odd pet peeves of mine. It just conjures images in my mind of someone so insatiably hungry and obese that they can’t wait til they get home to eat. it just screams weakness.( I know, mole hill into a mountain ).They, on the other hand, were as happy as clams. As we sat there eating, them eating their Wendy’s and me my Subway, every thing was perfect. It was a beautiful spring day. We finish and as we are leaving the parking lot, we spy a gentleman in the  drive thru on his bicycle. You know Bella, she was not letting this one go unnoticed.
    Bella: “Hey MOm!”
    Me: “Yes, Bella?”
    Bella: “That guy sure looks special!”
    I’m not exactly what she was inferring but the intonation in her voice wreaked of sarcasm. I was pretty afraid to ask. But she said exactly what I was thinking! I’ve realized she doesn’t say crazy  random things, she pretty much just says every single thought I ever have. She is hilarious. Much more hilarious than if I had said it.

                                                             My Bella!

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