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Search results for: “bad parenting”

  • Throat Punch Thursday ~Chuck Norris Karate Chop crazy edition

    Throat Punch Thursday ~Chuck Norris Karate Chop crazy edition

    Seems like this week, I have two recipients tied for Throat Punch Thursday. Imagine that? The first one comes to us via Kenya, Africa. This is the scene, a couple welcome into the world their new baby boy. To their disappointment he is mentally handicapped. Fast forward 30 years, Thomas ( the baby boy now a man) tied to a bed surrounded by pools of his own urine. Imprisoned like this for the past 30 years by his parents.They have no choice. Angry and fearful neighbors have been chasing the family from village to village because they are afraid that he will attack them. This forces his parents to lock him in a shack, away from the outside world. They have to lock him away to keep him safe from the ignorance of the villagers who find him to be a threat. For now, Thomas’ family feels like they are being punished because they are not allowed to live their life in peace. So, who gets the throat punch you ask? Well, obviously the villagers for being so freaking ignorant and letting preconceived notions rule the world but also Thomas’ mother. Believe me, I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed and exhausted with a situation. I understand she wants a break from her misery. I understand that it’s a lot to ask of a person, even a mother,  but she goes on to say that she has never known joy since she has been married. I got the distinct impression that some harm may befall poor unsuspecting Thomas..and it won’t be at the hands of the villagers. That may be a good alibi but from the video I felt that Thomas’ mother may be on the verge of driving her cow over the edge of a very steep peak with Thomas tethered to it. So, my throat punch has to go to his poor ,exhausted and tired mother. I feel that a hefty kick to the head may be just what is needed to knock some sense into her head!

    Next Throat Punch goes to CANCER! You heard me right..Cancer! Poor little toddlers should not be having to deal with brain tumors and cancer. If they are unfortunately inflicted, it is our duty as parents to do whatever it takes to make them as comfortable as possible. We need to improve their quality of life, especially when the quantity may be drastically shortened. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to cure my child or save their life. You remember that movie John Q with Denzel Washington? That’s me..I am of the John Q parenting technique. So, I say, if medicinal marijuana is going to help my child who has been in such pain that they have not eaten for 40 days feel some comfort. You bet your sweet ass, this Mommy is going to administer medicinal marijuana if prescribed by the pediatric oncologist. I’m not saying that I’m going to go out to the seedy part of town and score some ganja on my own but I would certainly do what needs to be done, to help my child. So, cancer and judgmental assholes who have never had to hold their 3 year old down to have a forced spinal tap done to confirm a leukemia diagnosis and think that it is “wrong” or “unethical” to administer a doctor prescribed relief from the torture..THROAT PUNCH to you, right up side your head. I know the concern is the damage to short term memory and killing brain cells and all that but if my child were diagnosed and dying, living on borrowed time…why should it be the government’s choice what my own flesh and blood, fruit of my loins, my heart walking free in the world should have to endure in the name of what is politically correct? In my world, as in most parents, my number one priority is my child. Sometimes it fits the parameters of PC, others maybe not but that’s not my concern. John Q rules! Chuck Norris karate chops to cancer!

  • Throat Punch Thursday~Teen takes Parents to Court and her Baby Gets Stay of Execution

    Throat Punch Thursday~Teen takes Parents to Court and her Baby Gets Stay of Execution

    pregnancy, abortion, texas teenIt’s a crazy world when you have to take your parents to court to avoid having a forced abortion. Look, I get where a parent might feel that it is their job to save their child from themselves. We do. I do. But you know the saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and people, there is nothing you can do to force this cure on your child short of tying her down and violating her.  Plus, there are abortion alternatives that you can consider and discuss. (more…)

  • Babies Growing up and Mommies letting go ~The Last Day of Five

    Today is the last day that my Bella will be five. It is the last time I will put her to bed and kiss her on her sweet five year old head. The last time she will look at me with her big blue eyes and ask me, “When will I be six,Mommy?” I know that babies are born to grow up. But must they do it so quickly?

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    The Day before she was born in 2005, it was 70 degrees in Tennessee. Today, it was snowing in the Midwest.

     

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    The waiting was maddening.I had no idea what was in for. This caption should read:Last missed opportunity for restful sleep!

    Six years ago tonight, I was so anxious and excited, I could hardly sleep. A new life was on my horizon and but I  had no idea that I was about to welcome into my life the most important human that I would ever have the honor of sharing space and time with, sharing air with, sharing evolution with. I had NO idea what my baby would bring to my life. A love so deep that I can barely grasp it on most days. A fulfillment that I had searched for for the previous 32 years of my life, a void was no longer.

    I had NO idea what to expect.This was the moment I was born for. This was the moment that I had waited my eternity for. But that night 6 years ago, all I could think was..did I deserve this?Was I good enough?Could I do this?Was I ready for this?What if I fucked it all up beyond recognition? What if what I wanted and what I deserved didn’t align? What if I was wrong? What if I didn’t know what the hell I was getting myself into? And I didn’t. I had no idea.

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    The MOST IMPORTANT Moment of my life!

     

    I remember lying in bed, on my back, listening to the stillness;staring into the darkness. Sleep was no where to be found. Only a million different thoughts, not the least of which was…I wonder what labor will feel like. This was the night before my very first baby was to be born into the world.I liked my life. I had the good fortune of marrying the best man I had ever laid my soul open for. We were happy. We had been married for 5 years and life was an open ended opportunity for us. As I laid there, trying to see our future in the darkness, I realized that no matter what happened the next day…our lives were going to be changed forever. The couple we were, would no longer be..we would be three. We would be a family.

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    I'm exhausted.She is perfection wrapped in a blanket.

     

    Tonight, as I put Bella to bed, I see the excitement in her eyes. The unknown. She knows that she will be six tomorrow at 4:51 PM. She has no idea what that means for her or to us. I’m pretty sure she will spend tonight the way that I spent the night before her birth day six years ago, lying in the darkness contemplating the future. Maybe not to the breadth and depth that I did, but she knows tomorrow is special. Tomorrow, she will have surpassed being that newborn that I held in my arms for the first time that moment that she made me a mother. That first baby of mine who came into the world and in that instant altered the path of mine for all time. She is no longer my precocious crawling baby or curious toddler. She has passed the  stage of being my preschooler. Tomorrow, she graduates from being my kindergartner to being my little girl. She becomes a little more like me in her thoughts and actions every day and in each of those moments she becomes more independent. Moving further away from my protective grasp and a little further into the world. And all I can do it’s let it happen.Because the most important part of parenting is knowing when to loosen the grip and allowing those perfect life changers of ours, to become the people they are meant to be in the world. This is how we repay the favor of them allowing us the gift of loving them.

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    I was the most tired I'd ever been and I was also the MOST happy!

     

    The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

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    This is what my heaven looks like!

     

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  • Drowning in Motherhood? Why Your Mom Life Preserver Isn’t Coming (And What to Do Instead)

    Drowning in Motherhood? Why Your Mom Life Preserver Isn’t Coming (And What to Do Instead)

    Lately, I’ve been feeling like I am drowning…as only a mother can. If you are a mother, I am sure that you have at one point been acquainted with this feeling…motherhood overwhelm or mom burnout ( especially if you have ADHD). If not….go you!

    I am feeling overwhelmed by responsibility and exhaustion. Caught somewhere between who I was and who I am becoming. Having slight issue with relinquishing the idea of the person I will never be. I am trying desperately to keep my head above water but I keep going under and swallowing salt while trying desperately to suck in air.. My arms are flailing and my feet are kicking furiously, fighting to make it until the next life preserver can be thrown out to me.I’m working harder than I’ve ever worked for something more important than I’ve ever wanted but the crushing weight of the minutia is drowning me. I feel rendered incapable by the sheer exhaustion of existing to a standard that I feel is ever changing and unrealistic at best.

    Motherhood overwhelm is REAL and you are not alone.

    Most of the time, I feel as if I am doing so many different things that I am half-assing everything and nothing is being done to my own acceptable standard. Do you ever feel like this?

    I have so many things that actually need to be in done in a single day that I am in need of about 5 more hours in the day and 3 less hours of sleep.I think it’s the nature of the beast. I keep telling myself that it is all a part of being a Mommy. And when I complain, in my head or out loud, I feel guilt and shame. It is a perpetually infinite to do list. Just thinking about it, right now, I can feel the weight growing on my shoulders and the preserver floating off in the distance…in the opposite direction. Just my luck. The preserver has broken free and is wandering aimlessly, just out of any possible reach.

    Motherhood overwhelm can make you question your parenting, your marriage and everything else in between.

    Decisions have to be made. Priorities have to be updated. I am so tired of waiting for that damn life preserver. I’m impatient. I think most of you know that about me. But I have really been giving patience and moderation a try. But,  it’s boot strap time. I have to stop crying over that damn preserver that’s never coming, pick myself up, stop, think for a moment, exhale and swim with direction.

    The things that are imperative *the girls, the Big Guy, our marriage, us being together and our health and happiness * will take precedence. The rest will have to float off aimlessly on its own for awhile. I have to swim to the preserver, it’s the only way the overwhelming chaos of the minutia will subside. No more treading water. I don’t want to drown. I want to live satisfied and fulfilled. Isn’t that all any of us wants?

    Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Over tired? Drowning in the minutia? Experienced motherhood overwhelm. What did you do? How did you get to your “life preserver”?

  • Throat Punch Thursday~ You Dirty Mommy Blogger Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~ You Dirty Mommy Blogger Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~Mommy Blogger

    Lately, there’s been a lot of controversy over the term Mommy Blogger.  Yes, I know I should be giving a hefty Throat Punch to Casey Anthony for being worst mom of the century but I think I’ve wasted enough time on making this sad and sorry woman into a celebrity. This is my last opinion on the subject: Casey Anthony is a woman who clearly has problems and has to live the rest of her life knowing that she has let her daughter down; that she will never hold Caylee in her arms again and that no matter what the jury decided, in the American Public’s eye, she is guilty in thought, word and action. In the end, she is alone and she is culpable.

    Moving on, as I was saying, the very term

    Mommy Blogger

    seems to be inciting revolutions. I am a Mommy who is a blogger. But I don’t blog about JUST being a Mommy. I am a human, with a vast array of thoughts and emotions. I have 38 years of life, experience and wisdom to share. I am worth more than the sum total of all my parts. It’s really disturbing to me to hear Moms who are bloggers disgusted and disgruntled by the fact that they are called mommy bloggers.  It is said in the blogging community almost as a dirty word or an insult.

    You know how you hear that teachers are not being paid very much and you think “what? These are the people educating our future” and then you think to yourself, “These people she be paid a million dollars a year.” They ARE making a difference. This is how I feel about Mommy bloggers.

    Or when you realize that there are entire countries where men think women are useless and have no voice. No opinion. No merit. It begs the question, how the fuck do you think you got here? There are entire continents that don’t want baby girls. But baby girls grow up to be women and women have babies. Babies perpetuate the human race. See where I’m going with this? Mommies are what make the world go round. Mommy bloggers share these experiences.

    Mommy Blogger

    So,when I hear a negative connotation associated with being a Mommy Blogger, it pisses me off. I work hard on my blog. I pour my heart, blood, sweat and tears onto the page to share with my readers. It’s not always about babies pooping, first days of kindergarten or photos of how cute my kids are. It’s not always gushing. Sometimes it a woman on the ledge sharing the deepest recesses of hardest moments of life. Sometimes I blog about how current events are effecting the world. Other times I use my life experiences and education to help my readers broaden their horizons and open their minds. Some days, I am pure sunshine and rainbows and am here to make you smile and laugh heartily. Either way, I think I serve a purpose for my readers and I know having the opportunity to share serves a purpose for me.

    The worst part is that not only is the term Mommy Blogger used in a derogatory way, it’s used most often by other bloggers. Worse still is the jealousy and competition that comes, not only from traditional journalists, but that from within the blogging community itself. I have met some amazing Mommies who are bloggers. I have learned so many important life lessons by sharing a community with these wise women…these mothers. But then, every once in a while, I see envy and competition raise it’s head. Is this where the negative view of Mommy Blogger is derived from?

    mommy blogger

    The Throat Punch this week goes to self-loathing Mommy Bloggers and all those who think that just because a blogger is a Mommy that she is less respectable than any other writer in social media. Shame on you! We are Mommies who Blog…hear us roar! And just because we share about parenting, doesn’t give you carte blanche to know every single thought we’ve ever had or the right to delve deeper than we are willing to share.

    What is your definition of a Mommy Blogger? Are you a Mommy Blogger? Are you embarrassed to be called such? Or are you loud and proud? Love to hear your thoughts.

    If you want the badge,grab it on the tool bar under buttons

    Proud Mommy Blogger

  • Tampons, Treatises and the Toddlerish set

    Tampons, Treatises and the Toddlerish set

    Have you heard the one about the box of disappearing tampons? Can you explain it to me?

    *TMI alert! Tampons

    My girls do everything with me. With the Big Guy out of town, the attachment parenting has been taken to an entirely different level. I want boundaries. I want to wax my lip in private. I want to change a freaking tampon without having to make it seem like a magic trick where no one sees anything.Oohhh, its an illusion. My littlest once caught a glimpse of something and gasped and almost fainted because apparently she thought I had cut myself and was bleeding out.I went with it. Yes, Mommy has a booboo. I’m OK, I just have to use one of my special Mommy band aids. So, the girls KNOW that those are Mommy’s special band aids.

    Imagine my surprise when I went to find one of my “special” band aids and NONE were to be found. I was getting flashbacks of the missing toothpaste incident. Oh wait, I know..look in the garbage. Remember where I found the girl’s missing hair? There they were… an entire boxes worth of applicators. APPLICATORS!!! Where were the cotton balls attached to string? Nowhere to be found that is where. What was going through their mind when they did this? Are they anti Tampon? Pro Diva Cup? Trying desperately to save me from a gnarly case of Toxic Shock Syndrome?

    Tampons and Treatises

    I interrogated those two littles for almost 2 hours. There was a lot of ” I didn’t do it”s, “Ask her”s and “I don’t know Mommy” followed by tears, hyperventilating and finger pointing. But still NO FREAKING COTTON. Those kids are unbreakable! They should bypass kindergarten and go straight to the CIA. Let’s be honest, I’m not married to David Blaine or David Copperfied and I sure as hell don’t think that Tampax can evaporate. So, as I sit there bewildered with my Diva Cup in hand wondering where the hell all the cotton in my house has gone to, I go for the last ditch effort to get myself an answer.

    “Tell me where the cotton balls are Abbi?”

    Abbi,”The Ones with the strings”

    “yes!”

    “Uhhm, Me no know!”

    “Tell me or I’m taking away your tv for a week”

    “Mommy, how long is a week?”

    “7 days!”

    “One, two, three, ….seven. Me can do that!” and with that she skipped off into the sunset.

    I just hope the next person who comes to my house for a showing doesn’t open a closet or drawer and get attacked by an army of zombie Tampax tampons wondering the world aimlessly searching for their applicator counterparts.

    Tampons, Treatises and the Toddlerish Set

  • Throat Punch Thursday ~Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding

    Throat Punch Thursday ~Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding

    Throat Punch Thursday~Gay wedding, gay marriage, sesame street, ernie and bert

    I am all for equal opportunity in every aspect of life, including a gay wedding and marriage. I wish that every single person in the entire world could be free to live their life without judgement or persecution regardless of color, race, religion or sexual preference. But, alas, that is not the world we live in. Sadly, we don’t live in a world of acceptance or understanding instead we even lack tolerance. We live in a world where the moral majority likes to look down its nose at anyone or anything that is not what they deem appropriate.

    I think we need to teach our children not to be tolerant but to be accepting and loving of all people. But it shouldn’t be forced or shoved down their throats. It needs to be organic.So, when I read a post on Mommyish.com referencing an article in the  New York Daily News titled

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    Throat Punch Thursday~ Sesame street, gay wedding, gay marriage
    NewYorkDailyNews.Com

    Online Push for Bert, Ernie to have a Gay Wedding on Sesame street

    I was a bit taken aback. Apparently, there is a petition to have Sesame Street have a gay wedding take place between Ernie and Bert. This is not organic. This is shoving an idea in front of an audience who will not only not understand why suddenly Bert and Ernie are in the same bed but we, the parents, will be left to explain this concept. More than that, I don’t want my children used to push a political agenda. What’s next on Sesame street? Abortion? Teen pregnancy? STDs? I trust PBS to help me teach my kids the alphabet, numbers, shapes and colors. There are few channels that I can say that I trust.Usually because they are selling my kids out to the highest advertising bid.*I’m talking to you Nickelodeon. Sesame Street has been a great learning tool for many parents but I don’t think this particular topic should be broached with this audience. It’s teaching an agenda to an audience held captive by puppets.It’s bullshit!

    My Throat Punch this week goes to the 700 strong who have signed the petition to push this agenda. Not because it’s the wrong agenda but because it’s the wrong place and the wrong audience. Most of the general public is not a fan of helicopter parenting because of how it doesn’t allow children to grow and form their own experiences and opinions, so how is this acceptable? It is forcing a position on a controversial subject onto our children. What happened to free will? I thought that was, after all, the ultimate goal. Free to be you and Me. Not free to be who you want me to be! What do you think about the idea of a gay wedding on Sesame Street?

    If you know someone who deserves a Throat Punch this week, please link up. The link is up for a week. Just GFC follow The TRUTH about Motherhood, grab the button(located under the “buttons” tab) and put it in your post and then link up your post. Leave a comment here so I can visit your Throat Punch.

    Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding

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  • Maggie Goes On A Diet~The Consequence

    Maggie Goes on A Diet, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder

    Last week, I wrote an article about the Kramer book Maggie Goes On a Diet. It’s an open wound sort of topic for me with my sensitivity about this subject but mostly I am bothered by the probability of the damage that will be caused by the message in Maggie Goes on A Diet. The premise of Maggie Goes on A Diet is basically that a young girl, Maggie, age 14, looks in the mirror and decides that she does not like what she sees in the mirror. Maggie then decides to do something about her weight problem and Maggie goes on a diet. This should be an empowering message, right? I am fully aware that we, as a nation, are in the midst of an epidemic of obesity of epic proportions. I see it everywhere I look, even in my own mirror.

    My issue is that this book goes on to say that by Maggie “going on a diet” ( a word that I feel should NEVER be uttered in the presence of a child for the sheer fact of the completely negative connotation associated with it) all of her dreams come true. Not only does she lose weight, she becomes beautiful, popular and the star of the soccer team. In a nutshell, according to this book all of life’s dilemmas can be solved by merely not being fat. What a dangerous message this sends. How easily can Kramer’s message be parlayed into self-loathing, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, anorexia, bulimia and a slew of other extreme unsatisfied, not quite measuring up disorders? Since the book is written for the 4-8-year-old, how many ways do you think this message can become twisted in their little brains? Hmmm? Let me count the ways….

    Maggie Goes On A Diet and the whole world is Perfect

    • If you lose weight you will be prettier
    • If you lose weight more girls will like you
    • If you lose weight boys will like you
    • If you lose weight you will be popular
    • If you lose weight you can wear nice clothes
    • If you lose weight everyone will love you
    • If you lose weight your parents will love you more
    • If you lose weight you can be anything you want to be
    •  If you lose weight you can have anything you want to have
    •  If you lose weight..everything WILL be PERFECT
    • If you lose weight, YOU will be irresistible
    • If you lose weight you will  never be alone
    • If you lose weight, you will always belong
    • If the number on the scale is high, your life will be unhappy
    • If you have a little extra weight, you are not worthy of happiness
    • If you don’t look like everyone else, you are not good enough
    • If you are not perfect, you are worthless

    And then I received a comment on the original post from a 17-year-old female reader and I know I am right. Here is her comment.

    I’m a 17-year-old girl and to be honest, I see nothing wrong with this book. if my parents had given me this book…yeah, I would have been a little upset, but I would know they were just trying to stubbly help me. Everybody is beautiful in their own way, but who doesn’t want to be healthy? I mean it when I say that I am the happiest I’ve ever been because I eat right and exercise daily. This book’s message may just as well be a small step to help you onto your pursuit of happiness * 17-year-old reader*

    Do you see what is happening? She is already programmed and defensive. She’s been affected by this sort of mentality. She would have been happy, though upset a little if her parents had given her Maggie Goes on A Diet. Her last sentence is the most troubling, equating Maggie Goes On  A Diet’s message with helping one begin their own pursuit of happiness. If this message stands to reason, what is to stop girls from starving themselves or purging? By this message, it would be completely logical to restrict the food, amp up the exercise and be all that you can be. Maggie Goes On A Diet promises a mythical utopia at the end of a weight loss journey to children who still believe in unicorns… 4-8-year-olds. Diets are not for kids. Parents are for kids. Parents need to teach healthy eating habits and model an active lifestyle. You can’t be a good parent and feed your kids crap all the time and leave them in front of a television set. I know it’s easy to give in and feed Bobby nuggets three times a day because you know he will eat THAT.  I know it’s easy to give in to that tantrum and just say “Sure go ahead watch another episode of Sponge Bob or play for hours on end on the Wii, PlayStation or DS. We’ve all been there. I’m not making judgments. I speak from past experience. The operative word being past. It’s easier to pop something processed in the microwave or keep the kids entertained with technology so you can get some stuff done. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve done it. But the ratio needs to be 5% coping out lazy parenting to 95% making the unpopular choices, the choices that will give our children a higher quality of life in the long run. I, for one, will not be responsible for my girls contributing to the childhood obesity statistic or will I let them spend all of their time with their derrieres planted firmly in front of the tele or the computer. I will not be the reason that they develop poor self-esteem or body image issues.

    I will, however, make sure that my girls are shown by example a healthy active lifestyle. I’ve started working with a personal trainer myself over the past 3 weeks and I’ve now noticed my girls emulating my working out.They take dance. They play outside. They ride bikes. The use their imagination. I buy and prepare healthy food. Do they get restaurant food? Sure, once a week we usually eat out. But I try to ensure that they are getting healthy, clean food that is balanced and nutritious. They have to try everything twice, they must eat all their fruits and vegetable but can leave carbs on the plate any time they feel they’ve had enough. Most importantly, my girls know they are better than good enough. They know that they are a sum of their parts; inside, outside, physical, mental and spiritual. Their worth is not determined by what they look like or the size of their clothes. I don’t compare them to other children or to one another. They are individuals and they are amazing…as is. They are healthy, happy, amazing and loved.Oh, how they are loved. This is what is important. I want them to feel the weight of unconditional self-love, pride and respect for themselves not magnify their flaws into full-blown insecurities and disorders. I want my girls to love themselves with the same unconditional and boundless love with which I love them. Maggie Goes on A Diet be Damned.

     

    Maggie Goes On A Diet~Crushing Young Souls Beginning October 2011

  • How to Train a Husband

    How to train a husband ~ This is the question that has baffled women throughout history. Now, before anyone gets their boxers in a bunch , I am in no way inferring that a husband, or men in general are dogs that can be trained and put on a leash. Truthful Mommy would never say that. I love the men. Some of my favorite people are men. Hell, most of my favorite people are men and my favorite person in the world is my husband, the Big Guy. I’m also not a trained expert on marriage but I have been married for over 12 years and with the Big Guy forever for almost 15 years. We’ve been through a lot of living in those years; babies being born, moving across the country, diagnosis and several shark weeks and in that way, I kind of am an expert on husbands.

    how to train a husband, husband, happiness, be a great husabnd

     My Husband my Hero

    Ladies, you’ve done the hard part; you’ve found a great guy who you want to spend your life with. The two of you have survived the beginning and the wedding planning, that says something in and of itself. Now, you’ve got to set this wonderful partnership up for success. You have to be an active and willing participant in your own destiny; in your marriage. It takes two, my friend. I’ve heard a lot of women speak of how their husbands go out on the weekends with their buddies while the wife stays home with children, or husbands who go off on long trips with their buddies while Mommy stays home with the kids, or just a general unbalance of  workload, parenting load and overall household responsibility.  I’m all for time away from the little ones, we all need it. But shouldn’t it go both ways? Doesn’t Mommy deserve time away as well? After all, who is the one spending a majority of the time with the children? So when I say how to train a husband, I am referring to making your voice heard. Ladies, your husband is not a mind reader. If you never tell him what you want out of the relationship, he’s just going to do what feels right and what he needs to do. (By the way this is applicable in the bedroom as well, so you may want to speak up!) He’s not going to just assume that you need time away from the kids or don’t want him to leave you alone with the kids all the time. So,you shouldn’t assume that he will just know what you want. Who’s the ass in this situation? YOU!

    Here are a few helpful hints of how to train your husband:

    • Speak Up. You have to tell your husband from the beginning what your expectations are out of the relationship. If you don’t, how will he know? Don’t be afraid to let him know that you have thoughts and opinions in your head, most men find a strong woman sexy. But just because you are speaking up doesn’t mean that he’s not suppose to speak up as well, just take turns speaking and listening. One at a time, kids.
    • Be Honest with your husband. If you’ve decided to speak up, please for the love of God, tell him how you really feel. Don’t just say what you think your husband wants to hear. That shit might work for a minute when you are dating but it will get you in a heap of misery if you try to keep that up for 50 years of marriage. Be reasonable, he doesn’t really expect you to be perfect.
    • Don’t try to pretend to be cool with everything. Better to tell your husband now than to let him go on for years making you unhappy, because you “Pretended” you liked it or it was okay with you. You can only pretend to be cool with everything for so long before resentment and hatred settle in. I promise, if you tell him that you are not cool with him going on weekend trips with his best friend Mandy from the beginning, he will know not to ask if he can spend Burning Man with Mandy in the desert while you sit at home stewing.
    • Be Human with your husband. Don’t try to be super wife, mother and career woman.  I’m not saying that you can’t do all three, of course you can. I’m saying prioritize, do the best you can and if you can only two out of three at 100% do not be afraid to ask for help. Let him see you sweat, cry and laugh like Ricky Riccardo.
    • Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help! He is your husband, this should mean that he is your partner and your best friend, if you need him to help you out..ask. He will. I ask my husband all the time to pick up my slack, and when he needs it I do the same. My husband is a capable man ( in many respects more domestically capable than I am). The Big Guy can cook like a gourmet ( and he enjoys it), he likes doing yard work ( I don’t), he knows how to clean and do dishes and laundry ( now picking up laundry is something entirely different) but you get the picture. If I have a slip and fall ( as I am frequently known to do) he has no problem, stepping in where I have fallen down.
    • Be Yourself with your husband. The biggest favor that you can do yourself is to be yourself with your husband. It is unrealistic to try and keep up the facade that you wake up in full make-up with breath like flowers. I’m not saying to let yourself look like the crypt keeper on the regular, but by letting him see the real you he can see the REAL you..what’s on the inside, not just what’s on the outside. Plus, it allows him to be comfortable enough with you to be himself. I’m not saying you want a slob who farts and burps all over the place but you want him to feel comfortable enough with you to be honest with you; to not feel that he has to hide his imperfections from you.
    • Be Open to your husband. This is the man that you chose to spend the rest of your life with so the least you can do is be open to his ideas, his suggestions, and his dreams. You get what you give in a relationship. You can’t very well expect him to be open to all you want and need if you shut down every single idea or thought that ever pops into his head, right?
    • Love and Respect your husband. If you love your husband and respect him, he will love and respect you back. If he doesn’t then I say kick that man in the balls and run far , far away as fast as you can because if there is no reciprocation of love and respect then there is no hope for the marriage. But with mutual respect and unconditional love, this partnership is basically foolproof.

    In the end, the way to train a husband is to lead by example with honesty, respect and love. The Big Guy is an awesome husband and I consider myself lucky but by the same token, he gives what he gets. I’m pretty freaking awesome myself. People are not animals, we can’t really train a man or a woman to do anything ( well, except for babies and using the toilet and you see how hard that is?) but we can be honest with our husbands and with ourselves and, in doing so, have a long and fulfilling marriage.What did you let your husband know you wanted out of marriage? When did you let your husband know what you wanted out of marriage?

    How do You Train a Husband?

     

  • Throat Punch Thursday ~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism: Sheisty Bastards Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday ~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism: Sheisty Bastards Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~ Intellectual Property Plagiarism

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism ~ This one is personal. You all know how I feel about being plagiarized. I think we can all agree that plagiarizing sucks. I’m not some Pulitzer prize winning writer, I talk about a lot of crazy off the wall shit and it’s not normally popular opinion or written in the usual rainbows and unicorns fashion, so when you plagiarize my intellectual property…it doesn’t take me too long to figure it out. Not to mention that I have taken some pretty extensive steps to catch plagiarist. Oh yeah, I’ve got my blog boobie trapped assholes. I’ve even written entire posts about how to catch a plagiarist and stop them from plagiarizing you.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism Not a Victimless Crime

    I don’t think that some people understand that I have ownership over my blog posts because I author them and when they take them without my consent and without acknowledging me as the true author, they are stealing. I don’t adhere to the adage that Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It’s not. The sincerest form of flattery to a writer is to pay her for her writing. When someone copies my thoughts, ideas, words and actions; when someone tries to be who I am by using my mission, my formula, my title and name…that is plagiarism and it pisses me off. It seems the more traffic I get, the more well known my blog becomes the more likely people are to try and hitch their wagon to my star. I’m not saying that there is anything special about what I do but it’s mine. It’s me! I feel like these plagiarists are turning all Single white female on me. It is literally happening almost on a daily basis at this point.I’ve written so many cease and desist letters that the formula is tattooed on my brain.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism is Real & punishable by Law

    This latest case of intellectual property plagiarism is what has my panties in a bunch today. Earlier this week, as I was perusing Facebook I stumbled on a Community page using my blog name The TRUTH about Motherhood. Did you even know that this was possible? Can you say blatant intellectual property plagiarism? This piqued my curiosity. I may not be a Dooce or Jessica Gottlieb but I’ve been around long enough for a substantial amount of bloggers to know who the hell I am. It always gives me a little knot in my stomach when I ever see my title used or very close to it because then I have to check it out to see what else it has in common with me. Imagine my reaction when I was reading the description of the page and it read;

    Witty, honest look at Motherhood from the trenches. The agony and the ecstasy of being a Mother, from pregnancy, through labor and delivery, to bringing the first baby home and to infinity and beyond. Where other mothers pretend to be Bree Van de Kamp,Truthful Mommy lets it all out there for the world to see. If 30’s the new 20, then imperfect parenting is the new perfect.

    I was trying to place the words. I went back through my posts and I saw bits and pieces here and there but not the exact quote.But I knew it had been said. I knew it was something I had said. Then I remembered, it is the verbatim description of my blog on the Babble top Mom blogger nominations. My head was spinning. Then I realized that they had labeled the page Community. To me, that infers that they are the community page for The TRUTH about Motherhood website ( which they are not) especially since they had the balls to use my exact description of my blog and even refer to TruthfulMommy( ME). I contacted them and they refused to answer and removed my comment from their wall. I reported them to FB for intellectual property infringement and they were forced to remove the description. Some of my followers also told me that they reported the page for being a duplicate. I think that since they refer to themselves as the community of The TRUTH abut Motherhood it is still under the guise of being associated with my site and should be forced to change their name, as well. We will see what Facebook does about the situation. I have made my feelings clear. I hope they have to change it or remove it in it’s entirety. This is just one more instance in a long list of times that someone has stolen my brand.

    Intellectual Property Plagiarism Parasites

    Today, I am throat punching the hell out of PLAGIARIZING PARASITES. I make no bones about it, if you are copying someone else’s thoughts/actions/words give them the acknowledgment and link back, at the very least try to do so. I will not tolerate this anymore. If I find out that you are plagiarizing my intellectual property, I will go through the proper channels and I will take you down.

    Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the buttons tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon).

    *Just checked and the FB page for the “community” calling themselves The TRUTH about Motherhood has been taken down! FTW! Thank you FB for having some integrity.

    Have you ever been plagiarized? What did you do? Did you go after the plagiarist assholes who stole your property? Did you give them a throat punch? We need to keep an eye out for one another and let one another know if we come across one anothers material on sites not belonging to the original writer. We are bloggers hear us roar ( right before we throat punch your ass)! Fellow bloggers, let plagiarists know that intellectual property plagiarism will no longer be tolerated by any of us.