Author: Deborah Cruz

Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary Moments of Childhood
I have been finding that the extraordinary moments in motherhood are the ordinary moments of childhood. There is magic in the laughter and giggles of my girls, there are infinite possibilities in the wonder of first steps and words and discovering the world with fresh eyes is like accomplishing the impossible. Watching my girls grow and be in the world, reminds me daily that I am blessed to have happy and healthy children. It’s apparent how amazing they are in everything from how they dance like no one is watching to listening to them fantasy play but no where is the magic more apparent to me than when I watch them love and interact with one another. THAT is extraordinary.
I have two daughters who are 2 years and 2 months apart in age. They are best friends and fiercest of allies. Sometimes they are arch nemesis, depending on the day or the hour but the one thing that remains the same is that even when they don’t very much like one another, they constantly and abidingly love one another as they love themselves. It is one of the purest and most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed.
I grew up with 6 brothers and sisters and they are my closest and dearest friends as adults but I remember there being a lot of bickering and annoying going on when we were growing up. I had my siblings but then I had friends and at the time, I was closer to my friends but not my girls, from the beginning it has been a “together forever, best friends till the end situation.” They do everything together and they like it. I think there is comfort in having their sister by their side, a security in knowing that someone always has their back no matter what life may throw at them. I have intentionally fostered this relationship because I never want them to lose that feeling. They should always know that whatever happens between them as they grow old, boys will come and go, clothes can be replaced, dents in cars can be buffed out but a sister’s love is unconditional and unending.
From the day we brought Gabs home, Bella has adored her. Always trying to protect and shield her from the hurts of the world and Gabs has always reciprocated by wanting to be just like her sister, even when she can’t stand the sight of her, she wants to be right beside her. It’s a perfect and beautiful relationship and I think it’s made them both better versions of themselves, one trying to be a good example and the other trying to measure up. The first time they were separated, when Bella started school, Gabs fell on the ground and sobbed as if someone had stolen her best friend because in her world that is exactly what had happened. When we picked Bella up from school that day, Gabs ran to her and hugged her as if she were welcoming her back from many years away at war. It solidified the relationship. My heart was full and happy because I know that they have one another.
This has born several occasions throughout their short lives where one has put herself in the line of fire to protect her sister. They remind me of those old couples you see on the boardwalk at age 95, still walking hand in hand loving one another more than they did the day they met. They are truly best friends. I look forward to the years of sharing the special moments together like weddings, babies and all the success that live throws at them. But I am glad they have one another for the not so great moments of life too like heartbreak, long nights with colicky babies, health scares and ultimately the death of their father and I.
My children are extraordinary because they are fierce in their love for one another and they are one another’s best friends and biggest cheerleaders ( aside from their father and I that is) but there are some things that you can only share with a sister and for those things, I am thankful they share this amazing bond.
I made this video #myextraordinarykid highlighting some of the extraordinary things about my girls. Your kid is extraordinary too. Show them how much you enjoy every moment together by creating a special video of your own!
The moments that count I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
2014/06/26
Stop Waiting For “Special” Occasions, Do It NOW

Stop waiting for special occasions.
Do It Now!
Don’t Make Your Happiness Contingent on anyone else or conditionals. I will/can be happy when I …. is a crazy way to live your life. In fact, I have spent most of my life bartering with myself. When I get skinny, I will allow myself to finally be happy. When I do this, I will deserve that. When my daughters are no longer bickering and talking back, I can relieve myself of some of this mommy guilt. When my house is clean and my laundry is folded, I will be a good housewife. When I give my husband the attention he deserves, I will be a good wife. Then I beat myself up about all of it. It’s wasted energy.
You deserve happiness now. I.DESERVE.HAPPINESS.NOW! Not tomorrow or the day after or whenever I hit some imaginary goal, NOW! It shouldn’t be reserved only for special occasions. Tell people you love them. Dance like no one is watching. Don’t be afraid. Go for what you want. Celebrate every single day. Stop and see the beauty all around you. Every day that you are alive is a “special” occasion.
I’ve always been that kind of person who has hung my life on conditions and some imaginary set of rules for life. I don’t know why or how this started but I just never feel like I quite deserve success.I always feel like I need permission to just do what I want. Sounds crazy because I am the same person who believes that anything is possible through hard work and sacrifice. Maybe I only believe that applies to other people. It’s the mantra that I base my entire life on but then I just don’t quite feel like I deserve it, any of it. I feel like a fraud, in my own life.
I rush through the moments. Sort of like running through rain trying not to get wet. Instead of spending my life leisurely strolling through on a sunny day like I won the world and deserve all that life has to offer, I run from point to point trying to go unnoticed even when I want to be celebrated for my achievements. I half-ass a lot of things. I never give anything completely 100% because if I give 100% and it’s not good enough, then I am not good enough. I can’t give more than 100%, so if I hold back a little bit at least I can assuage myself with the knowledge that I didn’t try my best so sabotage is better than failure but success is never even an option when you live like that. Fulfillment can’t happen when you aren’t going all in.
Like a lot of people, I reserve things for special occasions; beautiful dresses that never get worn waiting for “special” enough occasions. China that never comes out for fear of being broken or the situation not being “special” enough. Furniture that stays covered, so many things that never get used but instead tucked away safely waiting for someday. Flowers we never cut and enjoy at our table for fear they will die. Well, I am tired of waiting for SOME DAY. I want to live my life all in TODAY. I don’t want to be afraid of breaking or damaging something before it’s appropriate time because if I keep living like this, I am wasting my life waiting. We’ve all done it. I’ll reward myself with this when I accomplish this. I will do that when I deserve it. You deserve it now. Just do it. Stop waiting, life is short.
I should have learned this lesson when I was in labor with my first baby. I refused to use the breathing technique until I was in full on transition labor at which point I couldn’t focus or catch my breath. I was in a silent moment of complete overwhelming terror and I had no way to get out because I had rationed my “breathing” for a “special” occasion, as if breathing itself was a luxury that I did not deserve. That’s my life in a nutshell. Hurriedly being stoic and never feeling the full weight of my joy.
So when I decided to make this summer the throwback summer, I thought I was doing it for my girls and I was, mostly because I wanted them to experience just playing and having fun and enjoying summer without a schedule but it’s slowed me down. I’ve been sitting and listening to my children laugh. I’ve been noticing the rhythm of the birds singing. I can feel the calm that the water brings as it splashes up into us when we play in the pool. I am breathing, all day long because that is what you are supposed to do. Air is free. I am walking more slowly. I am invested and present and you can’t believe how it changes your perspective. I have given myself permission to be happy and enjoy my life.
Today, I planned to make enchiladas, Mexican rice and refried beans for dinner. Usually, I hurry the kids out of the kitchen because it’s easier and quicker for me to do it myself. Today, I put on Mariachi music in the kitchen as I boiled the chicken. We were already running late but you can’t make chicken boil faster than it does. The girls were dancing, I was dancing and they were giggling and telling me to call them by their middle names, their “Latina” names. They said they were being full-on Latinas. They were really enjoying all of it and in turn I was happy to be doing it.
My 9-year-old loves to cook and she asked if she could help me prepare the meal. Again, normally, I would have brushed her off but today, I said yes. She was my sous chef. I mean when you think about it, this was a tremendous teaching moment and what kind of person would I have been to deny her of something so simple as helping her mother with dinner? So, she cooked the entire meal with me and it was the best meal I’ve eaten in a long time and I told her so. I mean this could be her passion. Who am I to deny her? The point is that it felt good to do this with my daughter, she felt good to be doing it and the food tasted great. A memory was made and I know my daughter didn’t feel rejected or dismissed. She felt empowered and accomplished and I had something to do with that.
There is a special contentment that comes from going all in. The other day, I was doing an assignment and I really put all of my time and attention into it. I didn’t hurry. I wasn’t thinking of all the other places I needed to be or things I needed to be doing, I was just present in my writing and it felt different. I felt the passion return. I guess my point of all of this is, be present and give 100 % at whatever you do; you are missing out on the best days of your life by running from shelter to shelter in life’s rain. Put your rain boots on and dance in that rain, jump in those puddles and don’t worry, you are stronger than you look. You won’t melt and you won’t believe how great true accomplishment, at something even as simple as listening to what your child is saying, will make you feel. I want to teach my girls to enjoy life, the simple moments because sometimes those that seem the most insignificant are the more unforgettable.
When’s the last time you allowed yourself to really and truly enjoy something without worrying about where you needed to be or what else you were supposed to be doing or waiting for special occasions?
2014/06/26
Boston + the Walking Dead + Westin Waterfront Boston = Best Family Trip EVER
I went to Boston and fell in love.
I am serious. I just got back from Boston and I have fallen madly, deeply and head over heels in love. The people, the food, the beautiful harbor and the accents that had me wanting to ask everyone I met to please say “The Hopper” it was my litmus test, the more “Ha-Pah” it was the more I loved it.
It was the first trip to Boston for the girls and I. We stayed at the Westin Waterfront Boston, which I would highly recommend because not only was it very clean it is conveniently within walking distance to the harbor, Faneuil Hall, The Freedom Trail, The Aquarium, Harbor Cruises, Boston Common and the Redline. It has amazing views of the Boston Skyline and the Harbor and let’s not forget about those “heavenly” beds that the Westin is famous for, which was like sleeping in a hug. The Westin Waterfront Boston also happens to not only house 3 great restaurants and a Starbucks and delicious room service, you are in walking distance to some of the greatest seafood in the country. They even helped me draft an itinerary specific to my children’s ages ahead of time. But more important than all of that, the staff and service is beyond anything I have ever experienced and I have stayed in some really upscale boutique hotels.
First, let me start by saying that this is NOT a sponsored post. I was not in Boston or the Westin Waterfront working with the hotel or the visitors bureau, the hole system is one of the most clean in town, thanks to the plumbers in vancouver that keep the maintenance going 24-7. I was there with my family, tagging along on a conference with my husband. I was having an adventure with my girls in my new favorite city. I never thought any city could beat my love for New Orleans or my hometown of Chicago but I was WRONG!
Being a blogger, I tweeted and Instagramed some of our trip to share with family and friends because I was so excited to be in Boston. This trip was almost 25 years in the making for me. I also tweeted before we left because I was sooooo excited to be finally going to Bean Town. There started my relationship with the Westin Waterfront Boston, like most of my relationships these days. Twitter was my introduction.
When we arrived, there were some of my children’s favorite snacks waiting for us in the room with the breathtaking view after a 14-hour drive in the car… with kids. The only thing that could have made it better was a Jameson and Ginger for mommy and daddy. We were exhausted and starving, so this was a welcome and unexpected surprise.
Oh wait let me back up, I forgot to tell you that the Saturday night we arrived in Boston, the Boston Westin Waterfront was hosting a Walking Dead Fan Convention. What? I can’t believe I didn’t know beforehand. I am a huge Walking Dead fan. I so would have gone zombie mom for it. Anyways, imagine my surprise when I walked into the Westin Waterfront looking like an unintentional walking dead in my traveling yoga pants and running shirt (because obviously I was working out in the car all the way there) and completely disheveled hair, no make-up wanting nothing more to get to my room (You know the feeling) when a very adorable, kind gentleman held the elevator for us, nodded and said have a good night. Turned out he was Jon Bernthal….effing SHANE from Walking Dead! WHAT?? He was not sporting the Shane haircut, but lighter hair, scruffilicious facial hair and its actually even more attractive in person than he ever appeared on the show. Of course, I saw him, thought he looked familiar but couldn’t place the face and as soon as the elevator doors shut, our bellman told us that there was a Walking Dead convention there all week and the place was crawling with Walking Dead cast. So, alas, no photo proof but the memory is mine forever.
Anyways, needless to say our trip started out with a bang and only went up from there. Too much information to share in one post, so I will be sharing travel tips for Boston in a series that I will run on Wednesdays for the next few weeks. But I can tell you this, growing up in the Chicago land area and traveling quite a bit in my life I can say that Boston had some of the kindest, most polite strangers I have ever met. It was apparent by strangers stopping during rush hour to point us in the right direction, explaining to us how the MBTA worked, chivalrous men giving us their seats on the subway/buses, hotel staff offering local restaurant favorites, one woman letting our child cut her in a very long line to the restroom so she wouldn’t pee on herself.
I won’t even tell you about Firefighter Jeremy Marrache at the Cambridge Firehouse who not only saved the day at Harvard by giving one of the girls a Band-Aid for her booboo but actually took the time to give the kids a tour, let them on the fire truck, wear gear and demonstrated how to slide the poll simply because 4 little kids wanted to in the middle of a hot Wednesday. It was a day the kids will never forget. Thank you FFOP Jeremy Marrache!
Yes, Boston and its people rocked my socks off. The awesome staff at the Westin Waterfront Boston who went above and beyond on the last night we were there. I tweeted a photo of my view from my bed where I was very sick with extreme dehydration from walking all day in the hot sun with only one Aquafina ( yes, poor choices were made, my friends), they surprised me by sending up room service with crackers, spring water, tea and a note telling me to feel better. Now, THAT is good customer service. It was simply one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me without being asked to so. That made me a Westin Waterfront Boston fan forever and I can’t say enough good things about them, not in a lifetime of telling you how great they were.
There is lots more to tell and I will be sharing all my tips for traveling to Boston as a family in the coming weeks. And, don’t think I’m not working on the Big Guy to make the move to one of the cleanest, friendliest and most fun and entertaining cities I’ve ever been to with my family. Can’t wait for our next adventure.
If you haven’t taken your family to Boston, what are you waiting for?
2014/06/25
You Know what they Say About Making Assumptions
This is not the post that I meant to write today. I meant to write about my family road trip to Boston. And I want to be that person who just let’s things roll of her back. I really do but it’s Monday and I’m not accustomed to being called out and belittled for having an opinion. I’m all about respectful, intelligent debate but name calling is for children not intelligent adults.
See, way back in 2009, I started my blog. I called it The TRUTH about Motherhood because I was right in the thick of Motherhood and it seemed to fit my voice and where I was in life. I just wanted to write.
A friend of mine who worked in traditional media said that the wave of writing was moving to online and to get work, I needed an “online presence”. Hell, I had been neck deep in babies for the past four years, I had no idea what that even was and God knows I didn’t have the time to write about being a mom because I was too damn busy actually being a mom.
The first year was a joke. Seriously, I had no idea what I was doing. I had a few goals 1) develop my “online presence” whatever that was 2) when the kids napped or slept, write, write and write some more because I love to do it. It is how I process. I basically just copied essays that I had jotted down in a notebook for the girls about their childhood 3) to capture all the cute, funny, quirky moments of motherhood and document even the not so pleasant ones so I could appreciate the good ones and if I could help just one mom feel like she wasn’t alone, I’d be happy.
What happened that year was relocation across country that I never documented other than the original drive to Richmond to check out the city. I was too busy living to write about it. Then, things went to shit and my husband was downsized and we had to move home (blessing in disguise our home still hadn’t sold) in a blizzard.
We were quickly running through our money and afraid of what our future would hold with a toddler and a preschooler. The Big Guy (because my husband is 6’5” in case you didn’t know where the reference came from) took a job in another state because it was the only one he could find doing what he does and he made the sacrifice to work to support us and we all made the sacrifice to be apart 5 days a week. It was the worst 2 years of our lives. In those 2 years is when I really started to write.
You remember when you were in your teens and you were “in love” and there were so many ups and downs and drama and all you wanted to do was write poetry? Yeah, that’s called being inspired by your misery. I was going through a hard time and I had lots to write about. That’s where I found my people, moms who blog. I never understood what a “tribe” was until I found one as an adult. It’s more than a clique, it’s a group of people who support one another through good and bad.
I know bloggers are just regular people. I’m not delusional and don’t think they are actual celebrities but they care enough to get up and interact with the world by sharing their experiences. This meant a lot to me because at the time, I was hours away from any family and alone with kids. I needed someone to talk to, especially since my husband wasn’t there.
When you interact with people on such a personal level, I’m not talking just sharing recipes and diaper war stories, I mean the real stuff like marital issues, fertility issues, raising your child and feeling like a failure issues, feeling ugly and vulnerable and raw, the bonds are real and you see what’s on the inside (well, at least what they allow you to see). I have a tendency to have no filter so what you see is pretty much what you get.
I know that sometimes I am dorky, funny, boring, annoying and sometimes my stories are deep or interesting or shocking, sometimes they are well written and sometimes I am half-asleep or writing through the hardest moments of my life and it’s hard to type through tear filled eyes and ugly cries. Sometimes they are completely irrelevant to you and that’s okay because they are written for my children and me. You see it’s been a long time since I started blogging to become a writer. That has come to fruition. People actually pay me to write. I love my job. I am happy.
My blog is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and neither am I. My hair is never perfectly coifed and my clothes are occasionally stylish but I am a tired mom who spends the bulk of my time trying to raise happy, interesting children, while maintaining an open and honest relationship with my husband and sometimes, I write on the Internet.
My blog is real and it is flawed, like me. I cuss on my site and sometimes I add too many commas. I am educated and not a hot “mommy mess” who loses her “mommy cool” at the drop of a hat. I do however have my issues, so I can see where the jump to full on emotional train wreck could be an easy one.
I don’t blow smoke up people’s asses nor do I befriend people solely for their social media stats because none of that matters to me. What matters to me is what kind of people they are on the inside and how they treat me. It’s not about who is the coolest or hottest blogger, not for me anyways. I’m not trying to sleep with them. I want someone who can relate to me.
As bloggers, we have a little bit of the real estate expertise from https://www.williampitt.com/search/real-estate-sales/fairfield-ct/. Change can come in all shapes and sizes, a charity campaign to raise funds for clean water, to bring awareness to pediatric cancer, to help someone through a shared difficult situation like a miscarriage or a medical diagnosis that might be hard to face alone. Online communities hold our virtual hands through all of life’s events, if we reach out and want it.
My friends that I have met online are not virtual. They are real people. They have lives, families, jobs, interests and situations outside of the Internet but the Internet is our meeting place.
I wrote this in case you are new here or you forgot who I was. Make no mistake, I tell my truth on my blog and I welcome friendly, intelligent debate. I have a lot of opinions, I know they are not the only ones but I won’t debate you with name-calling and tantrum throwing. I just want to write my blog, share my story and tell my truth.
2014/06/23
Mexican Hot Chocolate Milkshake Recipe
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Sorry, couldn’t resist. My Mexican hot chocolate milkshake that is! A milkshake with a little Latina spin.
I decided earlier this spring that this summer was going to be the summer of fun. I wanted to give my girls the kind of summer that I had as a child; travel, spontaneous fun and lazy days of sleeping in and staying up late catching fire flies. Everything in moderation and no yelling mom moments. Life’s just too short for stressing over the little things. Eat that ice cream, put your feet in the sand and just have fun! This is my goal for my children this summer. No stress, no classes and no rigid schedules just beautiful childhood memories to last a lifetime.

I really wanted them to experience some of what I remember to be my fondest memories from childhood like riding my bike until my legs felt like they were going to fall off, swimming until I felt like I was going to collapse and giggling until my stomach hurt and watching movies under the stars. We don’t have a drive-in nearby, so we’ve improvised and made our own. We’re doing a lot of improvisation this summer and it’s been magical.

As a Latina, I was raised drinking Mexican Hot Chocolate. In fact, Abuelita Mexican Hot Chocolate was a breakfast staple paired with some kind of pan dulce, my favorite was the churro. We drank Mexican hot chocolate until we graduated to coffee, my other favorite thing in the world.
Mexican hot chocolate was not just served on cold winter mornings, there was just varying degrees of how hot our “hot chocolate” was served. For instance, during the summer months, we often threw a couple ice cubes into our chocolate. I realize, as an adult Mexican hot chocolate and churros is not a healthy breakfast, but it still makes me nostalgic for my childhood and why shouldn’t it be a treat once in awhile?
It’s June and I still get the craving for my Abuelita and churros, and the Big Guy and our girls love it to, so instead of making hot chocolate with lots of sugar and whole milk and topping it all off with warm churros, I decided to make Mexican Hot Chocolate Shakes with Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream International Delight creamer. Oh yes, you heard me right! When I told the girls about this idea, they freaked out.
Here is what you will need to make six 10 ounce milkshakes, so that you can share this sweet, cool treat with the whole family and whatever little friends you find at your home this summer.
Ingredients
· 2 cups of Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream ID creamer
· 2 package of powdered instant Abuelita hot chocolate
· 8 medium scoops of vanilla bean ice cream
· About 3 cups of ice
· Top with Whipped Cream
· Cinnamon/Sugar Mix
Instructions
1. Combine the ingredients in the blender and mix until all smooth.
2. Top off with some whipped cream.
3. Lightly Dust with Cinnamon
4. Drink slowly while enjoying each other’s company
We had this sweet frozen treat while watching the World Cup USA versus Portugal soccer match. The game ended in a last minute tie but our Mexican Hot Chocolate shake topped with cinnamon made it all a little less painful.
For more great recipes check out the International Delight Pinterest Community or join the International Delight community at internationaldelight.com!
What’s your favorite childhood memory that you’d like your own children to experience?
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of International Delight. The opinions and text are all mine.
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2014/06/23
How a Party Can Help You Change The World
Have you ever seen an injustice in the world and thought, someone ought to change that? Me, too. We all do. But why not instead of waiting for the world to change, we choose to be the change we want to see in the world. Why not be the change? Why wait? Just change the damn thing.
We worry about the state of the world; the hungry children, the homeless population, the unemployed and the disabled. We worry but we don’t do anything about it. We walk on in self-induced states of blissful ignorance because to look directly at the world, in all its pain and suffering and walk away is too much to handle. But we don’t have to walk on trying to pretend that all the sadness and injustices in the world don’t exist, we can be the change. We can do something.
That’s why I decided to partner with Jennie-O and Champions for Kids to help make a difference. It is a small thing but I hosted a #Fiesta4Kids which means, I hosted a dinner party at my house and invited some family over and everyone who came to dinner donated canned foods to be donated to our local food bank. We decided on the local Community Harvest Food Bank.
When most people think #Fiesta4Kids they think taco bar but my kids wanted meatloaf. So for our dinner, I searched the Jennie-O website and found a recipe called Best Ever Turkey Meatloaf and my family concurs. But you don’t have to throw an entire party to do good in the world, start small donate a few cans of food to your own local food bank. Every little bit helps. Teach your children that they can be the change and it’s never too early to start.
When school lets out for the summer, millions of children lose access to the school breakfasts, lunches and after-school snacks they receive during the regular school year. You can help ensure kids have nutritious meals by hosting a Fiesta to Feed Families event! From June 1 to June 30, Champions for Kids is partnering with Jennie-O Turkey to encourage community projects across the country benefiting children in need of nutritious meals this summer.
I want my children to feel compassion for others and to be activists, to do not wit for change to happen. I have to be their example. If you’d like to learn more why not join myself, The Motherhood, Jennie-O and Champions for kids on June 24th at 1 pm EST for a Twitter party.
JUNE 24 #FIESTA4KIDS TWITTER PARTY (1 P.M. – 2 P.M. ET)
Details for the Twitter Party
What: For millions of children, the end of the school year means no more access to school breakfasts, lunches or after-school snacks. This month, bloggers from all across the U.S. are leading the way in helping these children by throwing a Fiesta to Feed Families (#Fiesta4Kids), in which they collect food items to benefit kids and families in their local communities! They’ve inspired us so much that we wanted to explore more ways to get involved with community projects at this Twitter party!
The Motherhood is honored to join Champions for Kids along with Jennie-O to share just how simple it is to help local families in need. Champions for Kids SIMPLE Service Projects are an easy way to get involved in helping your community! Every SIMPLE Service Project has 4 basic steps: 1) Gather your friends, family, and co-workers. 2) Learn about the needs of children in your community. 3) Give items to help kids enjoy happier & healthier lives. 4) Share your story with Champions for Kids to inspire others!
Join this Twitter party to learn more about SIMPLE Service projects, as well as to learn about kid-friendly recipe ideas that are both yummy and nutritious!
When: Thursday, June 24, at 1p ET / 12p CT / 10a PT
Where: We’ll be on Twitter – follow the #Fiesta4Kids hashtag to track the conversation. You can see the details and RSVP via this Twtvite: https://twtvite.com/fiesta4kids
Hashtag: #Fiesta4Kids
Prizes: Five prizes will be given to five randomly selected participants who answer the trivia questions correctly. Each prize includes a $25 Wal-Mart gift card and two $5 Jennie-O product coupons.

Disclosure: I participated in this program on behalf of Champions for Kids and The Motherhood. All opinions are my own.
2014/06/22
This Blogger’s Life…Cecily Kellogg
Today, I am honored to welcome a woman who needs no introduction and is a force to be reckoned with in the blogging community, Cecily Kellogg to This Blogger’s Life.
I have “known” Cecily for a few years now but finally had the pleasure of meeting her last year at BlogHer. When I met her I found her to be more beautiful in person than she appears online ( that sounds wrong but what I mean is that she is such a vibrant woman and I don’t feel that comes across fully online) and she is one of the kindest and most down to earth people I’ve ever met. She greeted me with a hug and felt like an old friend almost immediately.
I’ve always enjoyed reading UpperCase Woman for the transparency of her words and she’s always writing about what’s new and changing on the Internet. Cecily is a kind soul whose words have weight. She is a doer in the world. She sees something wrong, she puts her back into it and she tries to make a difference. I love that about her.
Cecily is truly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. She looks hardcore like she could kick your ass ( and she probably could if you got on her bad side) but I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone nicer.
I’m honored to call Cecily Kellogg my friend and it’s my privilege to have her on This Blogger’s Life today.
This Blogger’s Life…Cecily Kellogg
Why did you start blogging?

In 2003 I was desperately trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Someone on a fertility message board
linked to a handful of blogs and I finally found my tribe. I devoured those blogs and the blogs they all
linked to, and by March of 2004 I started blogging myself.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger?

Don’t blog about deeply personal things if you’re a sensitive person. I’m sensitive – even hypersensitive
– and my own psychological makeup means I don’t have many tools for creating barriers between what
people say about me and how I react to them, although I am working on it (part of this is also because I’m
an alcoholic; we tend to take everything very personally).

What are the three words that describe you best?

Loud, funny, and sensitive.

What is your favorite website?

Oh god, just one? I couldn’t possibly begin to narrow that down. I mean, I live online. It’s like asking
someone what their favorite song is. From what decade? In what genre? I utilize so many for my life and
work I can’t imagine picking one. They are all just tools for doing what I do.

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging?

Cuddling with my daughter, or hiking.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging?

That I am a great writer.

How do you balance life and blogging?

I actually just read a really good article about this idea of balance that we’re constantly told to strive for.
I no longer believe in balance. I just do what needs doing and try to make sure I take time to eat well,
exercise, and be with my family – but sometimes that has to all go by the wayside to get the work done I
need to do to support my family.

How has blogging changed you or your life?

Everything in my life today is because of blogging. While I do have some good hardcore pre-internet
friends in my life, and some great connections with my daughter’s school families, most of my closest
friends are people I’ve met through blogging. It also completely changed my career – not always in the
best ways – and now I run a boutique content marketing agency that serves a very particular niche. While
I’ve struggled as a personal blogger – I recently closed comments on posts because of the chronic abuse
I received from a group of folks – it’s like breathing for me. I can’t imagine life without it.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same?

In the decade I’ve been blogging, that has changed so much. I think a great blog requires all of the
following: excellent writing, great story telling, and a beautiful and user friendly responsive design. It
doesn’t matter what niche the blog falls in, if it has those components it can be a great blog. The blogs I
read the most, however, are either industry blogs about tech/content/social media or are the old-school
blogs written in memoir style that share way too much information and make me fall in love with the story.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life?

I’ve thought about this so much, and in fact, have set up my life so that I can walk away from blogging if I
need to do so. I’d continue working in online content, just from a business perspective instead of personal
one (which is about 80% of the work I do already). I’d probably expand deeper into marketing work as
well. And I’d finally write that damn book.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life?

Ah, the big question. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes other people don’t want to star in your
story. It’s an awkward dance, of course, because my family is part of my story daily. For instance, I often
write about my father abandoning me as a baby because it has impacted my life in so many ways, but it
can be hard for my siblings to hear how I feel about him. I’ve taken posts down at their request. But the
biggest change, of course, is that my daughter is now eight and reads my blog now and then and I need
to bear that in mind when I write about her. She approves every post where I speak only about her, and
any photos I post of her. Eventually, I imagine, I won’t be able to write about her at all, and that’s okay.
I’m not a mommy blogger anyway.

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in
the early days? What do you love that has changed?

Blogging wasn’t competitive in the early days. It was, really and truly, about community and supporting
each other. But even so, it was plagued with personalities. I had a huge falling out with another infertility
blogger after I lost my twins around early 2005, and it was rough and divided our community for a while.
While today the competitiveness is mostly around the “fame” and the money, it was there even back then.
I will say that in general the level of vitriol on the web has gotten so, so much worse. That’s the worst
thing by far. Blogging is rather terrifying now; I’ve been threatened with everything from violent rape to
being reported to children’s services and more. Without careful monitoring of what I view online, I would
see non-stop messages about how awful I am. It’s fucking exhausting.
However, the good part is still the community. I have gotten to know so many amazing people through
blogging. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content?

Well, I obviously find myself fascinating as that is what I generally write about. But I also write about
elements of politics and culture too.

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite?

Honestly? I could list amazing historical figures I’d love to meet, but I’d really rather just have a dinner
party with my “sister wives”, or my closest girlfriends.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you?

I’m not tough, not even a little. Also, I’m very short and I’m much fatter than I look in my gorgeous avatar
photos.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of?

This one: https://uppercasewoman.com/2007/04/19/health_vs_life_/

Cecily, I know that you are super busy and I really appreciate you taking the time to let me interview you. Thank you for sharing your stories, no holds barred. It was my pleasure to have you on This Blogger’s Life. xoxo
2014/06/20
How Soccer & @CrestLatino Help Us #CelebrateCloser
This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Crest and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions and thoughts are my own.
In my family, nothing brings us closer than soccer. Shouting, “GOALLLL,” is a common explosion of joy in our house during soccer matches. We don’t care whose sitting next to us. It could mean a vuvuzela alarm or an unexpected kiss planted on a stranger’s forehead. So if you know you are going to be in that close proximity of a large crowd, freshness counts, in every way, especially your breath. Crest Complete + Scope allows you to get closer to people, providing you the confidence that comes from knowing you are covered and protected against bad breath. Because the further your team goes, the closer you get to those around you.
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Unfortunately, when you are dealing with children ( like animals) you are dealing with loose canons. The last thing you want is your 2 year old nephew telling you that your breath smells like hot garbage while you are gleefully shouting, “GOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL”. Talk about a buzz kill so I try to keep my teeth brushed and my breath fresh because it really is the best thing for everyone concerned. So, let’s all enjoy the next month of celebrating the small victories of the soccer matches, even if that includes broken vuvuzela apps and fresh minty breath.
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What brings your family closer together?
This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Crest and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions and thoughts are my own.
2014/06/19
Lacey Spears is No “Mommy Blogger” Murderer
The news is reporting that a 26-year-old upstate New York mom, Lacey Spears, has been arrested and pleaded not guilty to charges of second-degree murder and first-degree manslaughter in the death of her son, Garnett.
Garnett, Lacey Spears’ 5-year-old son died in January and hospital workers found toxic levels of sodium in his blood. The accusation is that Lacey was intentionally giving her little boy high amounts of salt, even when he was hospitalized. Garnett had been hospitalized many times throughout his young life. Spears took Garnett to the hospital on January 17, 2014 and then on January 19^th and allegedly administered sodium directly into a stomach tube. An investigation also revealed that Lacey Spears had searched the Internet to study what effects large amounts of salt would have on the body of a child and allegedly asked an acquaintance to discard of an IV bag that had salt residue in it.
On January 20^th, Garnett was alert. On January 23^rd, he died and Lacey Spears posted to social media, “Garnett the great journeyed onward today at 10:20 a.m.,”
The media is crying Munchausen by Proxy syndrome, claiming that this “mommy blogger” ( though she only ever wrote 2 posts) slowly poisoned her child out of her own sick desire to be needed as his caregiver, to get sympathy from others and to gain traffic for her blog ( yeah, the blog with 2 posts). This could be true. Everyone is also suspicious of her need to report everything on social media. Alert the presses, a new mom is posting about everything her child does on social media in 2014.
This alone does not a murderer Lacey Spears make.
Hello, it’s 2014, most moms are reporting every poop their child takes on social media. It has become second nature and if documenting her son’s struggles on social media is a crime, well, let’s just say, she’s not the only one guilty. We all KNOW people who’ve snapped an ER photo and uploaded to Instagram or reported on their child’s sickness on FB, Twitter or their blog. Is it in poor taste? Hell yeah. Does it deduce murder? I’m not sure.
Me, I don’t know her. Maybe she killed her little boy on purpose or maybe she was desperate and sick and accidentally killed him. What I do know is that her son is dead. What I also know is that Lacey Spears was not a mommy blogger. I am offended that the media keeps calling her one because they are only doing it to sensationalize the whole thing. As if the case is not sick enough already ( a little boy is dead, people) but let’s make it even more despicable by alluding to the fact that his mom was always online and solely for the attention; that she was exploiting her child and his illness for traffic and sympathy. Maybe she was or maybe she was looking for support. I don’t know. I do know that, as a mom who blogs herself, I have turned to the Internet for support many times. This is my tribe. When I miscarried, the Internet was able to support me in a way that the people in my real life could not because I was like an open wound and too fragile to face family and friends in person. The Internet can be a one-sided conversation and sometimes that is just what is needed. The Internet has helped me feel not alone when I was parenting toddlers alone for 2 solid years/5 days of the week because a down economy forced my husband to work and live in another state. The Internet has been my community for 5 years, my blog, Facebook and Twitter are our meeting places. My blog community is my safe place. It offends me that the media is trying to make the entire thing out to be a seedy group of deviant parents who neglect their children and use the Internet as a place to validate their own bad behavior.
Maybe she really was just a worried mother, he was her baby, maybe she made poor choices and went too far. Maybe she was young, single and alone and didn’t know what to tell her son when he asked where his dad was. Maybe his dad was a tool who didn’t want to be a daddy. Maybe a lie to soften the blow on the heart of a small child was the best she could do or maybe she was plain crazy and so afraid of losing the only person she knew truly belonged to her that she did poison him to keep him dependent on her. Maybe it went further than she had intended? I don’t know and I am assuming most of you don’t either but people are calling her names, remarking on her son’s long hair, her short hair, and the story she told her son about who his father was.
What we know is a sweet, innocent little boy is dead and ,whether killed accidentally or on purpose, if she did indeed poison him his mother has to live the rest of her life knowing she had something to do with that. If she did kill him on purpose, she is a monster. The more I have read about the case, she seems to be prone to lying and somewhat delusional. She needs mental help. I’m praying it was all an accident, but I fear it wasn’t.
The one thing I know for sure is that a little boy died and lived in a very painful way and that breaks my heart but that is all I truly know about this case and my heart doesn’t want to believe that a mom could intentionally kill her only child, especially in such a long, drawn out and painful way. Rest in peace, sweet Garnett.
This whole Lacey Spears situation deserves a giant throat punch.
2014/06/18

This Blogger’s Life… Amanda Magee

Today, I am honored to welcome one of my favorite people and writers on the Internet, Amanda Magee to This Blogger’s Life. I had the pleasure of meeting Amanda last year at BlogHer and she has been one of my favorite people ever since. Not only was she dressed completely adorable, my first impression was what a beautiful smile and legs for days but she had a great personality so the first thing I did when I got home was start reading her blog. She’s a directly to my inbox kinda writer.

I am not blowing smoke up your derriere when I tell you that she is one of the best wordsmiths I’ve ever read and being the bibliophile that I am, that is saying a lot. She is not only a wonderful storyteller, she is an artist. She paints a story with her words and her “book” of words is better than any movie could ever be. Amanda is a writer’s writer and I am thrilled to get to feature her here.

When I met Amanda, we were introduced by a mutual friend at a function and I am pretty sure that I charmed the pants off of her with my gruff vocabulary and loud, overly blunt attitude ( just think naval officer on leave but louder and more obnoxious and you have me). Amanda on the other hand was very Grace Kelly, her personality is as ethereal as her words. Still, she laughed at my jokes and I enjoy anyone who I can amuse without offending.

Long story short, if I had been a regular reader of her site before we met, I may have approached her with a little more reverence and a lot more awe but as it stands, we met exposed in all our human vulnerabilities and became fast friends. I am not joking when I tell you that I look forward to reading every word she writes because it always makes me feel something, think something, consider or take action. Her words have weight and we all need to read them and if you are a writer, mother, sister, woman, human; Amanda Magee should be on your daily read list…just like she’s on mine.

I’m honored to call Amanda my friend and it’s my privilege to have her on This Blogger’s Life today.

This Blogger’s Life….Miss Amanda Magee ( Jones in my head as I now cannot get that song out of my head)

Why did you start blogging?

I initially started blogging because my grandmother once told me, “Write things down. Just a little detail or two each day to help you remember times in your life.” I knew that I would not go the scrapbooking or journaling route with recording our daughter’s first year. The blog was a way to chronicle that sweet time, while also making it possible for my family on the West Coast to keep up with the milestones.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger?

Write for you. It’s really that simple, because anything less is unsustainable. Now, writing for you means a lot of different things, for one person it might mean writing reviews to earn bits of money, for another it might mean writing to cope with emotions. Whatever your motivation, so long as you stay true to it, you’ll find a path.

What are the three words that describe you best?

Hmm, why is that so hard to answer. Me as a writer? Open, hopeful, intimate. Me as a working woman? Driven, passionate, frank. Me as just me in the quiet of my thoughts? Worried, sentimental,

What is your favorite website?

A site that I kind of forget and am then reminded of and every single time find something grounding or inspiring is https://thatkindofwoman.tumblr.com/

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging?

Well it isn’t folding laundry, I can tell you that. Ok, sorry, focus. My favorite thing is probably doing something outdoors with my family. A hike, a trip to the lake, or just goofing off in our backyard. It makes bedtime so much easier when everybody has had their itches for time together scratched. That moment when the girls are down and we have the sensation of job done right or a life well lived, it’s priceless.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging?

That I dream in words. My love and my heartache, it all lives inside of words and the release of those words, sometimes as a declaration, other times an admission, and others still a kind of song, makes me feel whole.

How do you balance life and blogging?

The simple answer is that I don’t. I think balance, in any sense, is more a loose concept than a real thing. I certainly pursue a sense of balance, but honestly most of the time in order to get the uninterrupted writing time that I crave, I cannibalize my sleep, staying up late or waking early. The saving grace is that my family all know how much writing means to me and, as a result, it has come to mean a great deal to them. The girls ask me to write about them, offering suggestions and delighting in the times that I take them up on it. Sometimes on a Sunday morning Sean will clap his hands and declare that it’s “writing time for mom.” Everyone scatters and lets me have space.

How has blogging changed you or your life?

I have made dear friends, like share my darkest secrets people who have held me up from thousands of miles away. It’s also taught me so much about myself. I have often said that I wish I created something—music, art, buildings, whatever. Blogging helped me see that I do create something; I make Narnia like doors for people to slip away from the harsh intensity of life and just be inside a moment.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same?

I think we all define a successful blog in our own way. For me it is having a clear voice and a steady direction, which really means not writing things that don’t add value to my life and never betraying the people who “use their time on me” as my daughter would say. Every time someone visits my blog, that’s a choice, when they comment it’s a gift, I hope that in some way my writing honors that.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life?

Miss it. And find a new way to write.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life?

We have a saying in our house, “If you have to ask, then you probably already know the answer.” I feel like I have a pretty good internal gauge. If I am in doubt I’ll ask Sean or the girls.

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in the early days? What do you love that has changed?

I started over ten years ago. I don’t really miss anything because I really cherish each couple of years as a chapter in my blogging tale. I suppose I do sometimes yearn for a slightly less caustic environment. Even as I say that I don’t really know who is to blame, is it the media loving to stir the pot or is it in-fighting within the blogging realm? Maybe I’m just older and less inclined to try and elbow people out of the way. It’s why I am grateful that I love writing, the rest just doesn’t really matter to me.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content?

Oh, I don’t. I’ve have stretches when I cannot bring myself to publish because it doesn’t feel up to snuff. Eventually the freeze passes. I think Instagram has helped a lot. I find myself getting so inspired by moments I snap and the conversations that they spark. “Oooh, I can write about this. This is more than a photo!”

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite?

My grandfather six times over…

My dear friend Estefania from my year in Spain (1991), I lost track of her and I’d love to hear her say “Ai, Amanda” and then laugh. Sean’s friend Andy and his wife Ali, who live just outside of Boston. Andy and Sean were on the crew team together at RIT. Andy can make Sean laugh like no one else in the world. It is one of my favorite sounds. Jenny Ingram because when you are with her she makes you feel like the most important and wonderful person in the room.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you?

I used to be a smoker. I quit in 2001.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of?

I feel pretty deep shame when I run out of patience with the girls. I wrote a post once about a bedtime that tore me open. I was scared to reveal the experience. The night it ran Kristen Chase tweeted a link to the post. Before I went to bed I got an email from an editor at the Huffington Post asking if I would allow them to republish the post. Reading the post I can still remember what it felt like to have her let go of my hand, it reminds me that nothing lasts forever.

https://amandamagee.com/2012/12/can-i-have-your-hand/

Amanda thank you so much for being my guest on This Blogger’s Life and allowing me to interview you! I am so glad that we got to meet last year at BlogHer and I can’t wait til the next time I get to hug your neck! Keep on telling your stories. I cannot wait to read the book that I KNOW has to be written. Nobody puts baby in a corner:) XOXO

If you want to get to know more of the amazing Amanda Magee go read her blog, check her out on Facebook and Twitter!

2014/06/13

Author: Deborah Cruz

Stop waiting for special occasions.

When’s the last time you allowed yourself to really and truly enjoy something without worrying about where you needed to be or what else you were supposed to be doing or waiting for special occasions?

I went to Boston and fell in love.

If you haven’t taken your family to Boston, what are you waiting for?

This Blogger’s Life…Cecily Kellogg

On January 20th, Garnett was alert. On January 23rd, he died and Lacey Spears posted to social media, “Garnett the great journeyed onward today at 10:20 a.m.,”

This alone does not a murderer Lacey Spears make.

This whole Lacey Spears situation deserves a giant throat punch.

This Blogger’s Life….Miss Amanda Magee ( Jones in my head as I now cannot get that song out of my head)

If you want to get to know more of the amazing Amanda Magee go read her blog, check her out on Facebook and Twitter!

On January 20^th, Garnett was alert. On January 23^rd, he died and Lacey Spears posted to social media, “Garnett the great journeyed onward today at 10:20 a.m.,”