Some days it rains. Other days it pours and in between there is always a little bit of the most amazing sunshine; this statement is very appropriate for a Midwestern spring but it is also applicable to Motherhood. I guess it’s safe to say that Motherhood is like a Midwestern spring; beautiful, wet, unexpected, and wonderful…most of the time and other times…wet, soggy, dingy, dirty, and bleak. Or if it is a really special day, you can experience all of it in a given 24 hour period. I am reminded of this for two reasons simultaneously, today it poured rain while the sun poked through occasionally…just to get my hopes up.Much like my 5 year old who fights me tooth and nail at bedtime every single night, but once every week she goes to bed with no argument, no noise, no screaming. Those nights I cherish, just like those bits of hopeful sunshine peeping through the clouds. Or the continuous string of “no”s that fire from my 2 year old’s mouth, no matter what I ask her. But once every so often I get a surprising “Yes, Mama!” Those are my moments of hope. Hope that I survive these days , when the rain feels like a torrential downpour. That I survive having everything I am sucked right out of me. The moments of unconditional love, the little arms “wringing my neck” ( what we refer to in our household as a really good hug:), someone looking at me completely helpless but looking at me like I have the answers to all the world’s mysteries, a sleeping child cuddled next to me, a giggle from the tub, a “Mama, you are my best friend in the world”..these moments of sunshine make all the rain forgotten. Perhaps that is why when I am having such a time trying to wrangle them to bed and I feel like all hope is lost…and my mind is soon to follow….all it takes is a flash of those adorable little smiles and an “I love you Mama!” and all is right with the world! I’m such a sucker.Like spring in the Midwest, what starts out like a Lion..ends up like a Lamb.
Wow! There is nothing like our children to put the entire world into perspective. As I am running around like a chicken with my head chopped off, trying to find shoes and coats, finish the laundry (the never ending laundry), pay bills online, make phone calls /return phone calls, return emails and texts, make sure my kids are fed and clean and everywhere they are suppose to be on time and a laundry list of other daily chores (just like all the rest of you Mommies) it hits me, Stop! Take a breath! I am spending so much of my time lately trying to organize and plan life, that I am afraid that I am missing out on and not enjoying life. I find myself filling my days with things that I have to do and very little , if any, of what I want to do. This is making me uptight and grouchy, and defeating the purpose of all of the planning. After all, the planning is to maximize the quality of my daughters’ childhoods not to make them remember their childhoods as ” Remember how uptight and crazy Mom was?” What brought about this revelation, you ask? My brilliant little 2 year old. I ask in complete desperation, ” Gabs, please help Mommy clean up your room, honey.” Her response, “No Mommy! Me no want to!!!!”” Please?” “NO.ME NO WANT TO!!!!!!” (Basically, look woman I told you once..I don’t want to). Then it dawned on me..Me no want to either!! So, why not let the laundry wait a few hours and go have some fun with my girls. They are only this age now..NEVER again. I can’t rewind time like a video cassette. I’m hitting the reset button (oh yeah, once again. Apparently, in my life, it is a button I will be hitting quite frequently. Now, if I could only find that damn EASY button they keep talking about!)
This week we had an impromptu meeting downtown Chicago. Normally, I am in and out of downtown. The traffic frustrates me, the kids get bored and scream and cry; it really becomes an enormous headache.This time I said, hey we’re going to make it an adventure and have some effin fun. After our appointment, we cranked up the volume on the Yo Gabba Gabba CD, started cruising around downtown until we saw some place that we wanted to stop. To the bean we went! I’ve been wanting to hit Millennium park for some time now and an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is presented itself. The girls, me and my lovely “
NManny” for the week ( my 19 year old brother, who my daughters absolutely adore & so do I , for him coming out to help me while Daddy is on business) explored all the facets of any art and design that the park had to offer. It was a spontaneous, lovely day in the park…which are always the best. Cheers to many more days of living life while smelling the lilacs versus only planting while multitasking 20 other things, and never truly having the opportunity to be happy or let those around you be happy. I need to start relinquishing some control and going with the flow, because the flow is where I live and no matter what I do…the flow is going to keep on flowing!