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sanity

Yesterday’s  Be a Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 4 ~Bring Your sexy back
I must admit was a bit of challenge for me, being that we are at my in laws but I did give it a try. I feel sexy when I feel like I look my best. So, I got gussied up for the big guy and I’ve made a point of giving him a little PDA and some lingering kisses out of the blue for no reason. It makes me feel a little naughty, maybe because we are at someone else’s house. The more I do this, the more he responds to me, the sexier I feel. I’m going to make a point of doing this more often, venturing out of my comfort zone. I’ll keep you posted:)

Today’s Be a Better Me ( You) Challenge)- Day 5~Time for yourself
I know what you’re thinking, is she crazy? I ‘m a Mommy. I have no time for myself. Believe me, I understand this more than anyone.I am pretty much a 5 day a week single mother, and I realize to be my best, for everyone, I need some “me” time. I don’t mean a night out necessarily, but if you can swing it. Go for it. I am talking about at least 20 minutes a day when you can be alone with you. A time to decompress after a hectic day, or maybe to get on your game face for the day; to be alone with your thoughts so that you can  actually think straight. I usually feel like some kind of machine that has been turned on at high speed for an extended amount of time, and my motors about to burn out. You know the feeling? That’s not good for anyone. We end up over tired, grouchy, unable to function at full power, unable to think to our full capabilities, overreacting to simple situations which leads to the dreaded Mommy guilt. You know like the time a shitty diaper made me cry because I hadn’t had slept in a couple of days.
My challenge for you is to try and find your “me ” time. I don’t care if you have to steal it from somewhere else.You deserve to be on your daily list. Get up 20 minutes early and have your coffee alone with your thoughts. Stay up late and meditate.Take an extra long bath while your husband has the kids.Go for a run. While the kids are napping, just sit in quiet for 20 minutes. Believe me, that laundry will be there when you are through with your 20 minutes…so will the dishes. If you’re headed to the store, take the long way and have those extra minutes to just breathe. These are some ways to steal the time. But if you have the luxury of having someone to hand the kids off to, go get a massage , mani, pedi, go for a drink with friends, a long walk, a bike ride, a car ride, sit on your deck and enjoy a sunset in peace.
Those 20 minutes will make the world of difference in  your life. You will be able to start seeing glimpses of you again instead of just the wife and mother you’ve become. She’s a pretty awesome chic but I think the woman you were before you were someone else’s everything is pretty important too. You the woman needs some face time in your life. Start with 20 minutes and see what a difference that makes.
Now, link up your post of how you get your “me” time. I need some more ideas! Can’t wait. No go get your “me” time!

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Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a super advocate of sisterhood. I think that cat fights between women are ridiculous and that if we all spent a lot more time being real and supporting each other, life would be so much better for all of us. Why does it always have to be a competition? My kid does this, does  yours? My husband makes this much money, what does yours make? My house is bigger than yours. It truly is a pissing contest for women! I can keep the house immaculate, my kids listen to everything I say, sleep in their own beds, go to bed at a reasonable hour with no drama, they are reading at a 5th grade level @ the age of four, I eat but can not gain weight, my husband just keeps getting better looking, and my kids are absolute perfection, did I mention they eat absolutely everything I put in front of them. The laundry seems to do itself, I love to cook gourmet meals for every meal, I am completely organic, I made all the baby food and my babies only wore cloth diapers and drank organic, non tainted by caffeine or alcohol breasts milk. P.S. My shit doesn’t stink! I live in a mansion on the corner of bliss and perfection…or was that delusional and insanity?  And you? OK, Bree friggin Van de Kamp…you are not real, you are some convoluted conjuring of what some crazy tv exec thought real life is…not even in the 1950’s, my brother sister!If we’d stop trying to make the other Mommies think we have it all under control without even breaking a sweat, maybe, just maybe we’d have some back up in the trenches instead of one more enemy trying to kill our spirits and crush our souls!
So, as if that is not bad enough, that we are all running around lying to each other about how perfect and easy our lives are, we are inadvertently (or maybe purposefully) making other women (Mommies ,specifically) feel like they are losers because they don’t think life is easy or perfect and neither are their kids and their husband. I mean ,myself,  I’ve actually winced at the prospect of having to go to the grocery store, been brought to tears trying to figure out what the hell to wear out in public to drop my kids off at some class or other, the dishes make me want to kill someone ( actually just myself..I truly hate dishes!I am not above existing on paper products!), my girls still miraculously end up in our bed in the middle of the night, I have actually been reduced to feeding them cereal for dinner (only once..I promise)….though, I must confess, my kids are pretty perfect….to me! All kids are perfect to their parents! My point is my fellow desperate housewives, we would not all be so damn desperate if we could all just get along! Next time you feel overcome with the need to blow crazy smoke up your own ass, in a coffee induced fog of meanness,  Please remember that Mommy that you are making feel 2 inches tall would probably serve you better as a cheerleader than as a doormat!
PSA: Please be kind to your fellow Mommies! She is not your enemy, she is your sister, your friend, your confidant, your tether to sanity!

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Ok Ladies, I know I am not alone in this phenomenon. But I don’t understand it! I am not afraid of the dark, things going bump in the night, people breaking in, kids not breathing, becoming a random murder victim. Ok, now that I think of it…. maybe I am. I suppose all of those years living so close to Gary, murder capital of the universe, eventually had to take its toll on my poor psyche! But I’m not there anymore, no where near. I am in suburbia heaven! Lush green grass, lots of family neighbors, cul de sacs, SUVs, playdates, etc. I am in the land of La La! Maybe I just need to be perpetually cuddled? I don’t know but what I do know is I need some freaking sleep!Immediately! This is what happens, my husband goes away on business and I can’t sleep. Absolutely can not sleep. I’m talking full on insomnia in rampant proportions. What makes it worse is that this is NOT a temporary situation, this is the situation. Last week, I was up every night until at least 2 am. The only reason I went to sleep was because I forced myself to shut down all mental functioning in the name of sanity, and for my children’s safety. I am not a morning person when I’ve had less than 6 hours of sleep. 6 hours is the minimum sane functioning level for me, anything less for more than a day and I am full blown, off the reservation crazy. I do not jest! What do you ladies do to curb this insanity? I’ve spoken to several friends and it seems the only cure for what ails me is my husband, and that is not a possibility at this point. He’s there working, I’m here…NOT SLEEPING! Sleep medication is not an option because I have to be somewhat  lucid in case the girls need me in the middle of the night. So, here I am, Sleepless in South Bend. I really wish I was a sleep camel, storing it all up on the weekend to get me through the week. Think that’s an option? It is a nifty concept. Of course, when would I fit my husband cuddles and conjugal visits in if I were practicing my sleep camel antics on the weekends? If you have any suggestions for helping me to catch up on my rest, please share. I know a lot of us could use the advice! If not, I say Who’s up for midnight chats? LOL Stay tuned, as the week goes on and my sleep supply dwindles, God only knows what may end up in these posts. Toodles! I need a nap before Big Daddy leaves the building.

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I know that it is crazy to expect to have a moment of peace and quiet to myself. I know that there are sacrifices to be made when you have children. I am on board with that. I was not so oblivious to think that my life would remain unchanged. I thought there would be changes. I knew things would never be the same, but I was not prepared for the magnitude; the depth and breadth of it all. When they were newborn, all my time was spend occupying their time. My life effectively became fulfilling their needs, and I did it joyfully. After all, what could be more beautiful then being the world to your child; in effect not only giving them life but now sustaining that life.In the beginning, that was amazing. Fast forward 4 years and add another child to that equation, and now I am the dancing monkey! Sometimes, I feel like they are truly on a quest to make me crazy. There is the 4 year old who will not listen to anything I say. She will look straight in your face as you tell her not to do something, and she will say,”OK, Mommy” And not 2 minutes later, she is committing the aforementioned crime, in spite of your best efforts. This is enough to frustrate Mother Teresa. Add to that the 2 year old, who is constantly scaling the walls and proving, time and again, that gravity truly exists and whom also repeats everything she says multiple times , at the top of her lungs, breaking the monotony only to scream in such a high pitched squeal that all the neighborhood dogs go onto a tempered rage.Do all this, and you have about 5 minutes of my glorious day. Please don’t think this is all there is to being the mother to my beautiful girls.They are, in fact, quite amazing. Sometimes though, even the most amazing child can be amazingly frustrating to you, when all you really need is a moment of silence to regroup and re energize. So, save yourself some aggravation and frustration and never expect silence when children are awake. Get your 5 minutes of quiet in before they wake. Live it, love it, learn it.Enjoy their spirit and rambunctiousness, and the fact that they want to be around you at all because soon that may not be the case.

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