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perpetual cleaning

Seems like the damn Cleaning fairy has once again missed my house! Damn her. Now, I suppose I will have to spend the whole day tomorrow not only trying to pull together some crap for my neighborhood garage sale but trying to get my house up to par before my husband returns home this weekend. You know, I am so glad when he comes home but since when does he get the “guest” treatment? I mean, wait a minute, aren’t I the one holding it all together all week long? Why should I be trying to convince him that the house is always immaculate? He’s lived here full time before..he knows these kids are like Tasmanian devils on crack. Who am I trying to fool? and why is he going along with it? That’s it, I’m boycotting! The Cleaning Fairy better get her ass over here STAT! By the way, why do we always try and convince our visitors that our house is always spotless, especially our other Mommy friends? Doesn’t it only serve to make them feel like they are less of a Mommy because they are at an immaculate house..knowing damn well there are Goldfish and Cheerios keeping company on their floors? I’m making a decision..I have to stop this madness. I’m doing it for all of us. So next time you are over my house and its not immaculate, don’t judge me…I’m doing it for you! I am sacrificing my own cleaning standards and anal retentiveness, so that you may live more peacefully and happy!Happy Mothering. I’m off to bed. See you in the morning dirty house and I may or may not give you the attention you so crave in the morning!

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Dr. Phil had a husband and wife on the show tonight. The husband liked to come home and criticize his wife for not having enough done at the house (commence with eye rolling). You know he couldn’t understand why the clean laundry was stacked in piles..why couldn’t she just put it away. She only had two babies.She breaks down into tears. What a meanie! Does he not have enough to do at his job and that’s why he comes home with nothing better on his mind than to attack his wife? The poor woman probably was waiting with baited breath for this man to walk through the door and rescue her from her day. Who died and made this guy Martha Friggin Stewart? I, personally, would have went burning bed all over his ass a long time ago if I was continually criticized and made to cry. But that is just me. I’m wondering if she ever shot back with, “Oh yeah, why can’t you put the seat down? Put a new roll on the toilet paper rod? Read without moving your lips?” Dr. Phil, apparently wiser from being married for 3 decades, told this man to stop with this craziness. I think his words were (to paraphrase) “Trying to criticize a woman on how to do things or tell your wife what to do is like trying to put a cat in a bag. You will get clawed and shredded to pieces! Women do not like to be criticized!”
Was this a big secret? We Mommies do so much but never feel like we can get it all done, so we have enough guilt about that topic. To have our husbands come home and attack us ( after they get to be in the real world and converse with actual adults all day) its just too much.  Daddies , we are your partners, not the enemy. Support us and love us and we will try to give you the moon, maybe even try and put away all that folded laundry.  Life’s to short to be trying to throw cats in bags!

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Just perpetually doing the dishes and (random thought alert*) it occurred to me… Why does that song say ,”When you get caught between the moon and New York City”. Yes, I have been guilty of singing the lyrics to that elevator Muzak once or twice but really, what the hell does it mean? I understand stuck between a rock and a hard place because I seem to dwell there quite often. But where exactly is the space that occupies between the moon and New York city? Outer Space? Just wondering out loud, any ideas? Ok, back to resume regularly scheduled perpetual dish washing. Oh yeah, it bothered me so much that I am actually blogging on my phone from the side of the sink:) Oh how I love the advancements of technology! Happy Tuesday!

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

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