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my mom

I’m feeling a little nostalgic for my home and my parents. Who knows maybe it has something to do with my girls and all these firsts for them of late, the letting go and moving on a letting go some more, maybe it has to do with the loneliness and upheaval of my husband being 300 miles away on a daily basis, or maybe the fact that my Mom has been ill and I have been worried about her health…missing my Mommy. They say love makes a house a home and that home is where the heart is. I believe that. I grew up in a small house with 6 brothers and sisters, but we loved each other. It may not have been much to look at  but it was home. It is where I grew from a child to a woman.

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As many of you have probably noticed, I have been MIA since last Thursday. I will start there. My Mother went into the hospital for a simple outpatient procedure on Thursday morning.After the almost 6 hour surgery was done ( yeah, I don’t know how that qualifies as outpatient but whatever),my sister calls me with an update that there has been a complication. A COMPLICATION? Not words that I ever want to hear in conjunction with anything to do with any of my loved ones, least of all the person who gave birth to me. A simple procedure turned into a rare complication that left my Mom with blood pooled around her heart. It was very scary for all of us, and I can’t imagine what my poor Mother went through waking from her surgery only to find that she could not breathe and felt as if she were going to die. It was an emergency and my own Mommy instincts kicked in and I immediately packed a small bag,called my husband to meet us, grabbed my girls, jumped in the car and headed home to Chicago to take care of my Mom. I’ve told you all before (on multiple occasions) that I am a complete control freak. Well, that means I can’t wait for someone else to call with updates. I had to go to my Mom to know that everything that could be done to get her well , was actually being done. My sisters and brothers who were closer were there but , maybe it has something to do with being the oldest, I had to be there. I got there that night and she was feeling pretty weak and helpless. They were giving her blood and loads of pain meds, she had a chest tube to drain the blood and a catheter sticking in her neck ,it was pretty gruesome to look at but all I cared about was her getting well. I could tell she was frightened when I walked in. So, I pulled my Mommy face on and I set out to make sure that I knew exactly what was going on, that she was comfortable and in capable hands and then I went to trying to make her smile ( which is exactly what she would have done for me). The first thing I said when I saw her, ” Mom, is there anything you won’t do to get me to come visit?” She chuckled and I felt better knowing that she could smile under the circumstances. She ended up in the hospital for a couple more days. I am happy to report she is home now and resting comfortably. I just wanted to thank all of you who had expressed concern. I just could not get to a computer under the circumstances; my mind was obviously on other things.

Next, when I returned and finally had a chance to read some of my comments I came across this gem from Robin @ Your Daily Dose and it made me smile. On a weekend when I was so exhausted and spent from the emotional roller coaster of the previous days that I thought a smile was impossible, this video she tagged me in for her Here’s to you Thursday  post did. She says it reminds her of me / my blog. What are your thoughts?

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Monday Minute

If you could have plastic surgery, would you? If so, what would you get done?
Yes, return my boobies to their original place of origin, some botox, maybe some ass implants, tummy tuck, lipo on my hips and butt:)

What laws have you broken?
Aren’t they only technically broken if you were caught? So following that logic, I will admit to speeding & maybe a little reckless driving.

What is your quirkiest habit?
I hate even numbers ( so I do shit in odd quantities but at the same time I crave equality..its gets dicey sometimes), I refuse to drink out of Styrofoam cups ( the sound and feel of my teeth touching it wigs my the hell out), eat baby corn ( Because it creeps me out) and last but not least I count the letters in words as people are speaking when I am anxious ( don’t laugh, I’ve talked to my doctor about it. Its an anxiety coping mechanism and its not uncommon).

If you only had 3 songs to listen to for the rest of your life what would they be?
This requires too much thought @ midnight but I will try…
Sweet Surrender by Sarah Mclachlin  because it reminds me of my husband
Ottoman  by Vampire Weekend because it makes me happy
Pretty Much anything that Keane has ever sung. I used to sing them to both my girls in utero and to rock them as newborns and that always makes me happy when I hear it.
and finally…

How often do you have sex?
Well considering that I only get to see my gorgeous husband 3 days a week, it ranges from 1 to 3 times a week:)

Now to catch up on my Be a Better Parent Challenges . I will catch us up by listing challenge 13-15.

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 13 – The dreaded “in a minute”

I know we’ve all got some form of this – either it’s “in a second” or “give me a minute” or some variation of the above, but it’s basically translated in little brains as  “Never” “Mommy won’t keep this promise” or ” I say in a minute but this probably won’t happen”. It’s a bad habit and its sending my kids the wrong messages; that they are unimportant and Mommy doesn’t keep her promises.

  • In five minutes (and set the timer) which is one more reason that I love my iPhone I can set the alarm. I’ve done it when its time to come in from play so now I can use it when Mommy has to be done with her “thing”.
  • When the show is over ( basically when whatever I am doing is done within a reasonable time frame).
  • When I’m off the phone ( why do they always insist on talking to me about nothing when I am on the phone? Seriously, is it in the kids handbook?)

This is a challenging one, but it’s made much easier when you give your kids an actual MEASURABLE TIME. And then, the hard part, sticking to it.


 Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 14 – Catch them being good

I love this challenge because  I know from experience that this really does work for me and it works wonders for my daughters’ self confidence. Now, it’s super easy to compliment your child when they do something awesome, but it’s a little harder to remember to catch the smaller things – things that you might not generally notice but could really do with some positive reinforcement so that THEY KEEP DOING THEM!
That means everything from playing nicely with a sibling, responding to you after only one request – the simple things.The sorts of behaviors, actions, and reactions that often times go unnoticed because they are, in our grown up minds, small. However, they are not small in the long run and may actually be a big feat for a teething toddler to master.
For example; “I love how you’re sharing your dolls with your sister.” or “I really appreciate that you picked up your socks the first time I asked you.Thank you”
It’s way more effective than telling them “no” or “don’t do that” all the time.Plus, I get pretty tired of always sounding negative.I don’t want my kids to think they are bad kids because they are always being reprimanded.
There will still be plenty of times where you’ll be doing that – don’t get me wrong, but catching them being good is a fabulous way to get them headed in the right direction
(your direction). Try it! – and tell me how it went tomorrow!

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 15 – Start a tradition

I know it may seem odd to just create a tradition for today, but the least you can do is start thinking about it. And by tradition, I mean some sort of weekly family ritual that you do every week – something that your kids can count on, look forward to, and something that’s uniquely yours (and theirs).Something they can look back on fondly and pass on to their own children.
I suppose an easy and common one is the big Sunday breakfast – whether it’s going out to eat after mass or making a big Sunday brunch at home.
Maybe it’s a weekly game night or make your own pizza night where the kids gets to pick the toppings they eat for their own pizza and top it. Perhaps it’s ice cream on Saturdays or a Thursday night dance party where you dress up and blast the music in your living room.We tend to like to have Slumber parties on Friday nights ( we do Manis and pedis , crazy PJ’s, and popcorn) or Saturday night Rock band marathons.
You may even already do this, and if you do, please share. And if you don’t, now is a great time to come up with one. I figure a part of better parenting is creating fun, positive memories for our kids, and something like this will do just the trick.Can’t wait to hear all of your new traditions fro your families.

And I almost forgot

Giveaway for the Get Moving; Family Fitness game for the Wii

it ends this week and there are NO entries! So, right now its pretty easy to win. Come one… it’s a lot of fun. You know you want to.

One more thing…

Since I always tell you when my kids are acting crazy.I absolutely must share how they pepper the chaos with moments of sublime awesomeness.Yesterday, I was talking with my Bella, “You are so beautiful! Where do you get your good looks from? Your Mama?” 

Obviously , I was teasing her about getting them from me. For Christs sake , my kid is a model and I am not, enough said.  But this was her answer, and probably one of the many reasons that she has a special little place in my heart today..

Bella: “No…my Mommy is WAY cuter!”

Is this kid not the most precious thing ever? Just like the moment she was born, I am wrapped tightly right around her and Gabs’ tiny little fingers and (Shhhh) there is no where else I’d rather be tonight.


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