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Lately, I’ve been feeling like I am drowning…as only a mother can. If you are a mother, I am sure that you have at one point been acquainted with this feeling. If not….go you!I am feeling overwhelmed by responsibility and exhaustion.Caught somewhere between who I was and who I am becoming. Having slight issue with relinquishing the idea of the person I will never be. I am trying desperately to keep my head above water but I keep going under and swallowing salt while trying desperately to suck in air.. My arms are flailing and my feet are kicking furiously, fighting to make it until the next life preserver can be thrown out to me.I’m working harder than I’ve ever worked for something more important than I’ve ever wanted but the crushing weight of the minutia is drowning me. I feel rendered incapable by the sheer exhaustion of existing to a standard that I feel is ever changing and unrealistic at best.

I feel as if I am doing so many different things that I am half-assing everything and nothing is being done to my own acceptable standard.Do you ever feel like this? I have so many things that actually need to be in done in a single day that I am in need of about 5 more hours in the day and 3 less hours of sleep.I think it’s the nature of the beast. I keep telling myself that it is all a part of being  a Mommy. And when I complain, in my head or out loud, I feel guilt and shame. It is a perpetually infinite to do list. Just thinking about it,right now, I can feel the weight growing on my shoulders and the preserver floating off in the distance…in the opposite direction. Just my luck.The preserver has broken free and is wandering aimlessly, just out of any possible reach.

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Courtesy of Google

Decisions have to be made.Priorities have to be updated. I am so tired of waiting for that damn life preserver.I’m impatient. I think most of you know that about me. But I have really been giving patience and moderation a try. But,  it’s boot strap time. I have to stop crying over that damn preserver that’s never coming, pick myself up, stop, think for a moment, exhale and swim with direction. The things that are imperative *the girls, the Big Guy, our marriage,us being together and our health and happiness * will take precedence. The rest will have to float off aimlessly on its own for awhile. I have to swim to the preserver, it’s the only way the overwhelming chaos of the minutia will subside. I don’t want to tread water. I don’t want to drown. I want to live satisfied and fulfilled. Isn’t that all any of us wants?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed?Over tired? Drowning in the minutia? What did you do? How did you get to your “life preserver”?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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