The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Blogging

10 Tips How to Not Become an Internet Casualty
I don’t want to become an Internet casualty. As a Lionlock ambassador, I take password and online security very seriously. Safety online is not just needed it is imperative in my line of work. As a blogger, I am in the business of sharing my life out loud on the Internet. Even as someone who has been doing this for years now and as an adult, I still have security slips. I sometimes forget that the Internet is forever and I get caught with my metaphorical pants down.
You know that saying, “A moment on the lips, and forever on the hips”? Well, the Internet is JUST.LIKE.THAT! We are so trusting of the Internet that we often forget that a moment on the Internet truly is FOREVER in the world. You can delete and undo all sorts of things but you are always just a screen grab away for being immortalized in Internet infamy. Those private sexts you sent to your ex? There is no such thing. You say Snap Chat? I say screen grab. That nasty comment you left and then deleted? Already sitting in someone’s inbox. That petty FB update about your soon to be ex? Yep, his lawyers already have a copy in their file. The cute naked photo of your toddler in the bathtub that you uploaded and promptly second-guessed and took down 5 minutes later? Some pedo is already getting his rocks off to it. There is no privacy online.
We’ve all put something on the Internet that we wish we hadn’t. It’s embarrassing and we get over it. It’s like going to a party, drinking too much and wanting to crawl under a rock and die the next day when you see the proof on Facebook. It might not ruin us, but it might. None the less, we’d prefer those moments stayed private because we are left feeling compromised and vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are no second chances on the Internet so you have to know going in that everything you put on the Internet is set in stone for eternity. No matter how badly it may differ from reality. The Internet knows you from glimpses, social media shares and sound bites. There is no emotion, connotation, context or empathy. There is only what you say, what you share and what it sees. The Internet is a cold-hearted bitch and she doesn’t get innuendo or anecdotes. So what you put out there is who she thinks you are. So be safe and think before you go online.
While LionLock automatically audits any interaction that takes place with your passwords in the vault, it is still important to use common sense when sharing any important private information.
Here are a few online security tips to keep you from becoming just another Internet casualty.
1. Keep a Clean Machine
Keep all Internet connected devices free from infection and malware by keeping all critical software—security software, web browsers, apps and operating systems—up to date so that you can counter any new viruses lurking.
Have your security software set to monitor your computer continually, not just a weekly scan.
2. Protect Your Personal Information
Secure your accounts by making passwords long, strong and unique.
3. Own Your Online Presence
This is my favorite. I am very transparent; probably more so than I should be, but I know when I put it out there that it is out there. I consider this every single time I post anything. Set security and privacy settings to your comfort level of sharing.
4. When in Doubt, Throw it Out
If an email, social network post or text looks suspicious, even if you know the source, delete it.
5. Be Web Wise
Be wary of communications that implore you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or ask for personal information.
6. Be a Good Online Citizen or Don’t be a Web Douche canoe
Post only about others what you would have them post about you.
7. Beware of public Wi-Fi ( hint: There is no such thing as FREE wi-fi)
Anytime you use public Wi-Fi, keep in mind that everything you do can be visible to a 3^rd party/stranger that is also connected to the network. Criminals can see everything the users do and capture any information that is sent over the network. Find a staff member at the coffee shop or hotel that can verify the name of the proper network. Also disable auto-connection features when Wi-Fi is not in use.
8. Save money matters for your trusted networks
Even if you’re not on a compromised Wi-Fi hotspot, it’s really best to wait until you’re back on a secure network you trust before shopping or banking. If it’s an emergency and you need to move funds from one account to another, use your cellular data connection rather than public Wi-Fi.
9. Use Secure Sites (Https://)
Secure SSL connections are connections that encrypt any data you send through a website, adding a layer of protection for your private information. There are a couple different ways that you can check to verify that a site is secure. The first is that you’ll notice the https:// turns into https://, with the s indicating it is a secure network. Additionally, there should be a padlock displayed in the URL bar.
10. Secure your mobile devices
In addition to installing security software on computers, it is equally important to have a mobile security app, for your mobile devices. These apps will help your mobile devices stay secure by detecting security flaws in your apps and preventing you from clicking on malicious links.
The Internet is a wonderful place to live and play but it really is what you make it. Just like your home, you wouldn’t go on vacation and leave all the doors and windows open nor would you announce to the neighborhood gossip that you have syphilis. So use your common sense and take precautions to protect yourself online just like you would in your real life.
How do you keep yourself from becoming just another Internet casualty?

Photo Credit: Ellen von Unwerth
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own. Don’t be an Internet Casualty!
2014/04/09
Are You Too Trusting When it Comes to the Internet?
Last month when I announced my ambassadorship with LionLock, I told you what an incredible password management tool I think it is. It’s perfect for every 21^st century small business from freelance writers, digital marketing professionals, and social media consultants to virtual assistants. And let’s not forget about us busy 21^st century parents who do everything from monitor their nannycams to subscribe to parenting websites and manage their baby’s college fund online. We trust the Internet. We depend on it.
LionLock can securely store all kinds of protected information, including passwords, website logins, bank accounts and credit card details. This information is your “secrets”; called so because they should be protected. Each account or password is it’s own separate secret.
LionLock then encrypts and stores all of your Secrets using AES-256, which is the same level of encryption the government uses for Top Secret documents and then stores all of your information in the vault. It’s one secure place that you can access from your work computer, home computer or any of your mobile devices. Blockchain Startups are also utilized to ensure that vital and personal documents cannot be tampered easily by others especially hackers.
If you need to share a “secret” you created with clients, you can easily grant them access. If the situation or your mind changes, simply adjust their access permissions. You only have to change one password. It’s that simple. As the Secret Owner you have full control of a Secret. Only you can edit, delete, and grant access to other users.
To help secret owners know how their accounts are being used, LionLock keeps automatic reports of all the users of that you share vaults/passwords with and date/time users viewed or changed any passwords that hey have access to. Owners can view all reports associated with a secret they own. You have complete control of your “secrets”. Nice, right?
But, where does all that information go? I mean the Internet can be a giant scary place and sometimes, I have so much information out “there” that I get a little agoraphobic and want to just keep it all close to home but that’s not really a solution. What am I a social media password hoarder? Maybe I need an intervention.
I work from home and I am my own brand so my reputation means everything. If a brand hires me or I am collaborating on a campaign with a client, I need to be responsible and professional not only for my sake but for theirs, as well. Those pieces of paper with notes written all over them is not professional. It’s very unprofessional and it is just an accident waiting to happen and jobs to be lost. If I want to be taken seriously, I need to act seriously. My clients need to know that their information is safe on my site and in my hands.
So where does all that private, personal information go? This is going to be a little technical but you will be glad that I told you, so bear with me. Amazon EC2 secure servers in the United States host LionLock. It’s sort of like Dropbox taken to the security extreme. One major security feature of LionLock is that the passwords are not stored on the client machine (my computer, laptop or phone). Nope all the passwords are stored in the secure Lionlock website.
What does any of this mean to you and why should you care? Well, if your computer crashes, your passwords are safely stored on the cloud so you do not have to freak out worrying that they are gone forever and you will have to look unprofessional losing all of your information. People pay you so they don’t have to worry about every single detail.
Also, with passwords being stored offsite (like your money in the Cayman islands) there is never the worry that someone is going to “accidentally” get access from your computer. All passwords are retrieved from the Lionlock website using a secure SSL connection; this is the same web standard used by banks. And no, the developers at Lionlock do not have access to Amazon’s servers and data so they cannot access your “secrets”.
If you don’t believe me, try LionLock out for yourself. An account for up to three users and 25 passwords is free! If you need more users and unlimited password storage, LionLock has that too! I’m hooked because it just makes my daily work so much easier and more streamlined. I have everything securely stored for myself and my clients.
Lionlock allows me to trust that my passwords and my clients are safe and so is my my reputation.
Have you had the chance to try LionLock yet?

Photo Credit: 1954 Ellen von Unwerth
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own.
2014/03/18
Shhhh, I’ve Got a Secret
I am thrilled to announce that I have partnered with Lionlock as a brand ambassador.
This makes me happy because not only do I get to share my love of a great and very useful product with you but they even pay me to do it. What? It’s like getting paid to eat chocolate without the calories.
I know many of you, like me, work, play and live online and for security reasons you probably have 25 different passwords. Me, I have so many passwords that I have passwords scribbled all over the place in my office in notebooks, on napkins, up my arm and none of it is really effective because if I misplace the password source, I have to try seemingly endless combinations of letters and numbers, some with capitalization and one even requires a “symbol”. What? Yeah, that account may be lost to me forever. It’s like when you hide all the scissors in the house from the kids only to realize you can never find them again. Yes, just like that and my mommy brain apparently doesn’t remember where I hide scissors, passwords or locker combinations.
So you are probably wondering what is this Lionlock she is rambling on about?
Lionlock is a password management tool for small businesses, teams and parents who live their lives online and honestly, these days, who doesn’t? LionLock can securely store all kinds of protected information, including but not limited to passwords, website logins, bank accounts and credit card details. They refer to this information as “secrets” because it should be protected. Each account or password is it’s own separate secret. For example, your bank account information is one secret. Your 7 CMS logins are each their own secrets. Your five email account passwords are each their own secret. Now, unfortunately, Lionlock can’t help you at all with those misplaced scissors.
LionLock encrypts and stores all of your Secrets using AES-256 which is the same level of encryption the government uses for Top Secret documents. It’s like having your own personal secret service trained ninja assistant who keeps all of your online secrets in “the vault”. Only Lionlock’s vault can’t be plied open with vodka.
Lionlock’s vault stores all your information in one secure place that you can access from your work computer, home computer or any of your mobile devices. This is great for small businesses because a staggering 60% of small businesses suffer a cyber attack or major data loss in the first six months of operations. But it’s also great for me because when my mommy brain fails me, I know that my Lionlock account wont!
If you want to share your secrets with team members or your husband, you can decide to grant them access. If you change your mind, access denied. Change your Lionlock access password and that’s it. You only have to change one password. It’s that simple.
I am very excited about having the Lionlock password management tool in my online arsenal and getting to work as an ambassador for a product that I genuinely think is awesome. I think it’s perfect for everyone who has multiple accounts online.
Now that I’ve told you all about Lionlock, I’d love to invite you to our #Lionlock Twitter Party on Tuesday, February 25th at 6:00 PM PST/ 9:00 PM EST! We’ll be giving away prizes and having great conversation.
**Lionlock Twitter Party Alert**
WHAT: #Lionlock Twitter Party
WHEN: TUESDAY, February 25TH, 2014 FROM 6-7 PM PST/ 9-10 EST
HASHTAG TO USE WHEN TWEETING IT UP: #Lionlock
WHO TO FOLLOW: @TRUTHFULMOMMY @Lizz_Porter AND @LIONLOCKDC (SPONSOR) >
PRIZES: Four $25 Visa Gift Cards and one grand prize $50 Visa Gift Card
RSVP: PLEASE RSVP BELOW.
Join in the #Lionlock party for fun conversation and a chance to win some great prizes!
Please RSVP with your twitter name and link to qualify for a chance to win prizes during the #LIONLOCK Twitter Party.

Photo Credit: Ellen von Unwerth
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own.
2014/02/12
Who are the Real Moms & Who are the Online Imposters?
Something bizarre happened this weekend, someone pretended to be me; leaving me to wonder who the real moms online are and who are the online imposters?
This is the first time I’ve ever been aware of anyone doing this where I was involved. Someone pretended to be me online. I don’t mean they copied my posts and swiped my words, it went beyond that. Unfortunately, I have become used to the plagiarism after 5 years of blogging and I’ve learned how to stop it. I’ve never had someone actually try to pass themselves off as me…the person.
It was brought to my attention that someone had actually created a fake account using my name and photo. I have an imposter pretending to be me online. Imagine my surprise when I see a comment supposedly left by me, only it wasn’t. I do not like being forced to take responsibility for words that I didn’t actually write. God knows that I write enough things to get me in trouble all on my own. Anyways, it left me feeling decidedly vulnerable and violated. Someone had invaded my privacy on a very personal level. It made me begin to question everything.
I’ve put a lot of trust in you, Internet. I know that you are not infallible. I forget that the Internet is not just filled with a whole bunch of moms reaching out for friendship and support. The Internet is full of weirdos; pedophiles, imposters and single white females just waiting for the chance to prey on some poor unsuspecting schmuck. Do we really know anyone?
I feel like from now on, every time I write I should be asking myself Who are the real “moms” & who are the online imposters?
Who are harmless crazy cat ladies sitting in their one room apartments playing with their 10 Reborn baby dolls? Who are the 300-pound, balding perverts who live in their mom’s basement and touch themselves while reading about your children losing a tooth or crying from a booboo? Who are the single white females who sit in their home alone reading about every detail of your pregnancy while doing a little legwork and soon knows where you live and when your baby is due? The crazy lady who wants a baby so badly that she’s willing to befriend you and then cut you open like a fish and take your baby?
We never know who we are talking to; in person or in real life. The guy you worked with at Arby’s could turn out to be a pedophile 20 years later. The guy you went to prom with could secretly dress up like a woman and write erotica. The mom you’ve been sharing every detail about your life with online could really be some man in Brooklyn who has no kids and gets his rocks off reading about yours.
This past weekend has left me with two thoughts; people are really bat shit crazy. I don’t mean crazy like you and I and in need of some sleep and Xanax. I mean off the reserve, scary and dangerous crazy. People who pretend to be others online are creepy on a very deep level. Two, I don’t know if this space is really one that I want to be a part of anymore.
I used to be so naïve and I thought people who wrote about rainbows and unicorns all the time were trying to hide something out of a need to protect themselves from criticism but now, I realize that the lack of transparency was probably born out of an innate need to protect themselves from actual crazy people who can steal every detail of your life and make it their own but I don’t know if I can blog in any other way than with complete openness. One imposter has lied so much that she has convinced herself that the person whose life she’s stolen is the imposter and she will fight anyone who says otherwise. I find that to be very frightening because obviously the lines between fantasy and reality have been blurred so badly that she no longer recognizes which is which.
When I think of the personal stories and photos that I have shared on this blog, it makes me cringe to think what could be done with all of it in the wrong hands. It’s also made me reassess what I want this space to be. I’m not sure the pros outweigh the cons anymore. I just want to write and connect with other moms. I am nobody special, the other bloggers who have had imposter accounts made in their names and my friend who is literally having someone steal her life, we are just moms trying to connect to one another and somewhere in all of that, we’ve let an imposter infiltrate our community but what is the alternative? From behind the screen, do any of us really know who the online imposters are or who we are really talking to?
Can you tell the difference between the online imposters and the “real” moms online?
2014/02/10
Why do Bloggers Judge Mom Bloggers so Harshly?
I read a post by my friend Jessica, referencing a post by GOMI and the dastardly state of mom bloggers. The story goes a little something like this, mommy blogger pauses to take and Instagram a photo from the ER where her toddler is being held down by his father so that said toddler’s head could be stitched up. I am usually inclined to agree with Jessica on many topics, GOMI not so much.
However, when I first read this, I agreed with Jessica and GOMI. I really did and then I took a moment and thought about it; really thought about it. We don’t live in the world we grew up in. We live in a digital world and everyone over shares. TMI and inappropriate shares are the norm. For Pete’s sake, the Pope has a Twitter account. Women live tweet their births. Nothing is sacred any more. It’s just the way it is.
I understand the whole argument that she should have been spending the time holding her son’s hand instead of taking and editing a photo. I can see that it looks, from the outside, like it’s all very calculated and callous and maybe it was. I just know that many bloggers have been guilty of exercising impropriety in inappropriate times. Is it for traffic? Or is it force of habit? Bad judgment? Or maybe it’s the only way they know how to document their lives? At first read, it felt like this mom blogger should have put down the phone and held her son’s hand.
Then I remembered that I am the same person who left the obstetrician’s office after being told that my baby had no heartbeat and in the midst of my heart breaking pain and through my own primal cries, I wrote it out. I felt like a trapped animal and I needed to purge myself of the pain, to make sense of it and I wrote it all down. I had 15 minutes before I needed to pick up my 4-year-old from preschool. I had to get my shit together. I needed to process the emotions. I needed to get a hold of my own breakdown. I know that to anyone who doesn’t blog, that probably seemed like an odd thing to do.
At the time I was blogging daily and I knew that this miscarriage was going to fuck me up mentally and it did. I knew I couldn’t skim over it or hide it from my regular readers or the people in my every day life. I hadn’t even told family yet but this wasn’t something that I could keep a secret from them for the rest of my life. I couldn’t write authentically and transparently while hiding a major life event. I couldn’t move through my real life keeping something like this from my friends and family. That night, I texted my family and told them what had happened but asked them to please not call me. I was too fragile to speak or even hear the sadness or pity in their voices.
The next morning before I left to the hospital for my D & E, I scheduled that note from my phone to go live. There was no thought or editing that went into it. It was a purge. I needed two things; to process and to purge. My world was collapsing around me and my first thought was to write it down and get it out.
What I didn’t do was share the last photo of my baby; the ultrasound taken at the request of my 4-year-old so that she had a photo of “her baby”. No, I never even considered sharing it because that is private. That is just for my family. That is one of my most precious possessions and it’s not for sell. Just as I am sure there are things that the mom blogger in question does not share. But everyone’s line in the sand is different.
Maybe for that blogger, she took the photo and Instagramed out of habit. Maybe she has become so accustomed to documenting every moment of her life via social media and her blog that it was the most natural thing to do. We are creatures of habit and there is comfort and reassurance in routine. In the moments of life when we are terrified, we go on autopilot.Would it have been okay had she written about it but not taken the photo? Would it have been fine if she tweeted about how scared she was instead of snapped a photo on her phone? Who decides? Why is one way acceptable and the other not? How are we supposed to blog like no one is reading when everyone is judging? I won’t judge this mom because no one knows why she did what she did and quite frankly, who are we to judge?
Do you think everything bloggers do is for traffic or is there a genuine compulsory desire to share their lives?
Why do you think bloggers share and over share their lives?

Image via Flickr/ Tom & Katrien
2014/01/22
Dear Unsubscriber
Dear Unsubscriber,
Hey, You, yeah you! The one who is wondering if she should waste a comment or just go. Yes, I know that you delicately tried to slip away out the back door without anyone noticing but damned if feedproxy wasn’t standing there, right behind you, yelling and pointing…“Hey, look she’s leaving! You suck!”
And just like that our blogger/reader love affair was over. I know that I don’t always say the right thing and sometimes I’m overtired and cranky and maybe I don’t even make sense but I thought you got me. I really thought you understood that not all of them are gold. I thought I was safe. This was a judge free zone. Some posts are flops but I didn’t know our relationship was so fickle that you would leave me over one bad day. One crap post. I’m sorry my dog died and my period came and the snow has been really bad. Sometimes a bloggers got to complain. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. But hey, I’ll do better next time. I’ll write a funny post about how to survive shark week without losing a limb or explaining your period to kids in a public bathroom at Panda Express.
You knew what you were getting into when we started this relationship. I told you from the beginning that it wasn’t always going to be sunshine and unicorns. I tell it like it is. I’m a real person and sometimes really bad and boring shit happens in my life. I thought our love was unconditional. I listen to your side in the comments. I don’t plug my ears and ignore you. I don’t delete what you have to say. You read and comment, I write and respond. We share. It’s symbiotic.Well, it used to be. We got to know one another. This isn’t match.com. You can’t just order up your flavor of the month and put me into a box. I have thoughts and opinions.
I never took you for the one giveaway type. I’ve never considered myself easy. Did you just pretend to like me to get into my “giveaways”? Say it isn’t so. Please tell me you didn’t subscribe to me JUST for the goodies that I could give you only to toss me aside once you’d had your way with me. I feel so used. Like a bloggy whore. I thought we meant more to one another than that.
Come back.Don’t leave. I won’t always be stressed and bloated and have cabin fever and my kids won’t always drive me up a wall. Things will get better. I won’t do it again. Let’s not take a break and if you are going to “unsubscribe” from this relationship, why not tell me why? Give a girl some closure. Think of it as an exit interview. Just drop me a note so I can grow and learn from it before I get my bloggy heart broken again.
I mean we shared at least one post that meant something to both of us, even if it was just a laugh while you were in the pick up line or an unsuspecting cry in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep? Or what about the time I made you shoot diet coke, wine or coffee out your nose? Let’s not even bring up the time you were reading about my labor while sitting on the toilet. I’ve shared my most personal stories with you. We’ve been intimate.
I wish you nothing but sunshine and unicorns unsubscriber. Just know that every time feedproxy sends me an unsubscribe notice, a blogger dies.
XOXO
P.S. If you would like to donate a subscription to the keep a blogger alive foundation subscribe here
2014/01/17
Is Blogging Dead?
Is blogging dead? A conversation with a fellow blogger in which she mentioned that blogging was dead has stuck with me over the past few days. They say Mommy blogging is on its way out and the blogging market is over-saturated. Some bloggers literally recoil with disdain if you refer to them as a “mommy blogger” as if you’ve intentionally insulted them.
I don’t think blogging is dead at all but I do think that there are varying degrees of success in blogging, just like in anything else and some are definitely written better than others, some tell better stories or are more interesting. I read blogs for different reasons; humor, well-written stories, relateability, interests and to learn how to do something but what keeps me coming back are the people behind the blogs. If I like the person, I tend to love the writing because I am invested in what they have to say.
I came to blogging late in the game; my girls were 2 and 4. I’ve been at this consistently for almost 5 years. Honestly, I had no idea what blogging was before I started my own blog and I only did so because I wanted to build my online presence for my writing portfolio. I was too exhausted to have started when the girls were babies. I could hardly find the time to shower, never mind write about my adventures in motherhood.
I started my blog at a point in my life when I was a mother. I was a writer who had children so the term never offended me but there was no way that I was going to let that moniker limit what I was going to write about. After all, it was my only “me” space. I wish I had started my blog when I was single and dating but then it would have been slightly x-rated and it never would have survived the transition to motherhood. You all would have all been, “You raise your kids with that past?” It would have been like the Sid Vicious chronicles.
I don’t think blogging is dead or dying but growing and evolving. I am getting more inquiries than ever to write for various brands and publications. I think what is more likely happening is that people are starting blogs with either unrealistic goals or no clear direction and then finding themselves bored or disheartened because they never achieved any level of “success” and quitting. But success is relative.
If you are going into blogging with the expectation of making a lot of money…back away from the keyboard now because unless it is all about the money and you are willing to sell your soul to the SEO gods, you want no part of this world besides no one wants to read that mess. If success is building community, telling your story and creative fulfillment than I say write your heart out. Open up those veins and bleed all over your blog because if you write it without filter, readers will find you. If you are a writer and you crave a constant creative outlet and you want to be acknowledged as a writer, blogging is a great springboard to getting your writing out there. Blogging has made it possible for me to make my living doing something I love. I don’t think blogging is dead but I think that blogging is being redefined.
When I started blogging, the community was filled with other bloggers who were doing exactly the same thing; trying to survive motherhood and navigate the muddy waters that lie between who we once were with are who we were becoming. Blogging was about human contact; not SEO, traffic and no one ever considered how viral something would be as a qualification whether or not to write a post. We clung to one another for dear life. We needed and wanted the companionship with other women and men who understood what it was like to go from a career to spending our days with tiny people who spoke a foreign language. The shared loneliness forged a bond between us all.
We visited one another’s blogs, we commented, we were invested and then as time went on the kids got older, we found ourselves parlaying our blog into paid work and then no one had time to comment anymore. It became about sharing and liking and tweeting. We wanted our fellow bloggers to know that we were still there but now we had deadlines and after school activities and ambassadorships and press trips and we needed to maintain our own blogs. Blogging is not dead. It is simply growing beyond what we thought it could once be.
New bloggers are entering the space every day. The difference is not that new bloggers are not coming, or that blogging is dead, it is that we bloggers who have been at it for a while have changed and evolved and we are looking for the next step in our blogging career but no longer have the time to engage like we once did. If we want to maintain connections and not become obsolete in the blogging world, we need to engage. Blogging can’t be an unrequited relationship.
Writing is how I process life. I can’t quit blogging. I won’t quit blogging because I still want those connections and need that creative outlet. Blogging has become more than just words on a screen to me. It’s become part of who I am.
What do you think, is blogging dead? What would make you stop blogging?
2014/01/07
Blog Like No One is Reading
Discombobulated. Exhausted. What time is it? What day is it? Wow! I am in the throes of one of the worst Christmas hangovers I’ve ever experienced. It’s outrageous. My poor blog has suffered and fallen to the wayside of my priorities. With all the moments saturated in holiday joy and togetherness, sitting down to write about it seemed to feel like it might spoil the magic. I wanted to live it not write about it and that is what I did and it was magnificent.
On December 14^{th the}Nutcracker ended and then I played the most intensive game of catch up that I’ve ever had the misfortune to take part in. My blogging has been shit because I had so many obligations that I needed to get done. Then Christmas came and I have purposely been spending time with my girls and the Big Guy. I am like a damn quality time camel, I am trying to suck it all up while we are in this holiday bubble, before people start going back to school and work, before deadlines are mounting and the out-of-control-ness of life takes hold once again.
I do want to get back to blogging like I did in the beginning before I had to worry about who was or wasn’t reading. I’m forgetting that my mom, mother-in-law and Homeland security have all been known to frequent my page. I want to blog like no one is reading once again. I want to comment and read blogs. I want to know what’s going on outside my bubble. I want people to give me their perspective on what I write even if they disagree. I want to have long, drawn out conversations in 140 characters. I want to make new friends online. I want to hug the necks of all those who have taken the time to engage. I want quality to matter over quantity. I want content to be king again. I don’t want to worry about fucking SEO, my “numbers” or how much to charge. I want to write what I feel and say what I mean and not give a damn.
I have a list of goals for my life, the blog and my family (by the way, I always have a list of goals not just on the brink of a New Year. I am a chronic list maker, if you are one too, I am sure that you have a list of goals at all times too. Go ahead, flip through your phone, notebook or journal, I’ll wait). I want to be better and yet, I want to be who I am; loud and proud and free of over-thinking. I don’t want to worry about other people’s judgment or care what they think about what I have to say. I want to blog like no one is reading. I want to live like there is no tomorrow and I want to dance like no one is watching.
Life is too short to do anything else. So this year, I have my list of things that I want to accomplish. Most are things that I do already, some are things I need to remind myself to do and others I have completely forgotten or given up on but I like a challenge so on my list they remain. 2013 was good to me, better than 2012, but I want to blow the roof off of 2014, in so many ways. Mostly, I want to be better, love harder and live fully. I want to mommy with compassion and patience, I want to be more present in my life and more passionate in my marriage. I want to give 110% to the things that matter and most of all, I want to be happy with myself with no regrets.
I wish all of you an abundance of love, peace in your heart and success in your every endeavor. Be brave, blog like no one is reading and live like each day is a new beginning of your story. Embrace it with enthusiasm and wonder, because each day is a chance to rewrite your story. Each moment is redemption and salvation. Don’t plan for how you want to live your life…just live, right this moment; every minute of every single day for the rest of your life.
Wishing you all the happiest New Year filled with moments that take your breath away!
I am serious about wanting to read and comment of blogs and I am serious about more conversations on Twitter and I really want to have conversations and share on FB not just read and like links like its a job. I want to look forward to hearing what you have to say. Let’s do this. Let’s bring it back.Let’s blog like no one is reading…like it’s 2009.
Leave your blog url, twitter handle or FB page in the comments and I will check you out. Here’s to 2014!
What’s your #1 goal for 2014?

2013/12/31
…and Then Blogging became A Pissing Contest
They like me, they really, really like me! These are the words running through my head as I read the email that I had been selected as one of Babble’s top 100 bloggers of 2013 reader’s choice in the Latina category.
I’ve been blogging for almost 5 years and in that time, I’ve come to know and love a lot of bloggers. I know it’s cliché but you ladies have become my true tribe. You’ve seen me through some of the best and worst days of my life and some of you are like sisters to me, even though we’ve never met. I know it’s genuine because those of you who I have met in person, it was like seeing an old friend not meeting someone for the very first time. Many of you are on my speed dial. I love you broads. Blogging is about so much more than just tapping away at a keyboard; it is sharing our stories, our lives with other people. For me, it’s about opening up and being real.
Friday, Babble announced it’s top 100 bloggers of the year. It wasn’t just mom bloggers this year but spanned 10 different niches. I was chosen as the reader’s choice Latina blogger and I am honored. I’ve been sharing my life, my children, my successes and failures with you all in a very honest way over the years and that is scary. To be acknowledged for that, was surprising because I usually feel like I am writing for an audience of one…myself.
Honestly, I was shocked. I am not the most popular blogger on the Internet, I don’t have the outrageous top tier numbers nor do I write about what everyone wants to read. I am honest and sometimes abrasive. I know I piss people off. I am the Throat Punch Thursday girl, for God’s sake. I am a loose canon sometimes who writes without a filter and that is not exactly attractive to some people. I am rough around the edges, so to be chosen by Babble was flattering but to be the reader’s choice was humbling.
I have seen so many of my talented friends receive this award in the past years and I have always been happy for them; ecstatic! Because, lets face it, we bloggers are the book nerds, introverted, quirky and deep types. We’ve spent our entire lives afraid that people will figure out who we really are and yet we bravely write it out and share it on our sites. We make ourselves vulnerable by exposing ourselves through our writing. This is why I love my blogger friends so much. Our blogs are the one place in life where I feel like we are all seeing one another’s true selves. That means something to me.
Anyways, I was excited about this award because honestly, I am never nominated or win anything. Congratulations came pouring in from my blogger friends around the globe. Some of you made me cry with your too kind words. It felt great and then I began reading the flippant comments on Facebook about how meaningless the Top 100 was. How it was “stupid”, how no one cared about these bloggers, how no one wanted to scroll through these writer’s life stories, how it was bullshit and all the winners were not very good bloggers. It took the wind out of my sails a bit. It tarnished it.
I know the award means nothing really; there’s no new job, money, trophy or car involved. My life won’t change because Babble has given me this award. But for someone who’s stayed true in her writing, to who she is, being chosen by the readers as their choice was something. It is validation that my fellow bloggers appreciate my writing, respect me enough to choose me to represent them and that somebody else reads what I say besides my mom.
I am proud to announce that I am one of Babble’s Top 100 bloggers; Latina Reader’s choice and next year, when you win, I will be genuinely happy for you because you deserve it and I am happy when my friends succeed. I am sorry if you don’t like those who were chosen on this year’s list. But mostly, I feel sorry for those who were belittling the list ( and in effect the winners) because it would suck to be that jaded and cynical. Thank you all so much for the very sweet and kind words over the past few days. They mean more than you will ever know and thank you Babble for selecting me to be on this list. But most of all, thank all of you who read me because without you I’d still be writing to an audience of one.

2013/12/09
For All the Comment Trolls that Live Under the Internet Bridge
It’s wordless Wednesday and I am hard at work meeting deadlines so no time to write here but I came across this diddy and I had to share it because I know many of you bloggers can relate. It spoke to me and it will now be on repeat whenever I encounter a grumpy old troll. I know we’ve all had our fair share of “sexually aggressive,racist, homophobic, mysogynistic, cowardly, illiterate, wastes of human skin” trolls who love to spew hate whether it be on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube or our blogs usually for absolutely no reason at all.
Thank you beautiful stranger, your comments count.
2013/10/30