This just reminded me, that my glass is most certainly always half full!
Tag: love
Love letter to my daughters
Ella, on the day you were born, I giggled uncontrollably. So many emotions flooded my mind that all I could do was laugh and weep, tears of joy. I fell in love with you the moment I looked into those deep blue eyes. You looked into my soul and changed me forever.You will always be my love and my heart. With every moment that I am given to be your Mommy, my love for you grows deeper and I can’t even remember my life before you. It was as if I never even existed. As you grow more independent, I can feel you pulling slowly away even at your young age. I promise to always give you room to blossom and grow but to be there to lift you up when you fall. And know this, you will ALWAYS be my baby. You may be outgrowing my lap but never will you outgrow my love.
Abs, on the day you were born, I couldn’t stop smiling. It started off a little rocky; we had to have a back up video camera special delivered into the hospital room to capture your birth. You didn’t want to come out, so we had to have a little help in the form of the Texas roll and a nurse laying on my stomach to help push you out.But when you came into this world with your eyes open wide and bright, taking in the entire world in one fail swoop, I knew you were my joy and my smile.Every single day since, you have grown my heart with love and filled my life with joy. Your smile melts me. You are also so obstinate and independent that you break my heart and scare me to death on a daily basis with your constant shenanigans. You will always be my little hell on wheels in pink taffeta and a helmet. At the same time, you are the light of my life and without you and your sister, I could not exist. You are my oxygen; my reason, my life!
All my Love for all of my Life,
Mommy XOXOParting is such sweet sorrow
As excited as I was for my husband to come home Friday night, that’s how depressed I am that he has left. They say your first year of marriage is the hardest, and I used to believe that. They also say that the year you have a child, that is a very difficult year in a marriage. Makes sense, the once again shifting of the relationship paradigm. But, that year brought us scary close to one another. It’s sorta like being in war together; you’re scared to death, you are fighting to stay alive ( or at least to be sure that you keep your child alive), and you do some growing up together. It definitely takes it to the next level. Now, we are heading towards are 11th year of marriage (yes, I married at the age of 13:), we’ve just spent year 9 &10 being downsized 3 times. Oh yeah, you heard me correctly. If that is not the test of your marital strength, I don’t know what is. Seriously, in my world, money is the root of all evil; when there is none….I get evil. Not really, but its a stress to have bills coming in and what little income you have going out. But we weathered through it together. Hell, this last time, I didn’t even stress about it. I just said to myself, “Hey, worrying helps no one, it makes my energy all negative..I’m not doing it.” Then there was a job. A wonderful lovely, knight in shining armor job rode in all the way from Iowa on its big metaphorical steed and rescued us. Yey, the day is saved. But all is not what it seems, yes, we are blessed by God to have found employment in this economy so quickly. I know that. But seriously, did it have to be 4 hours away from where we live. Here I am , a wife who actually likes having my husband around a lot, and he is in Iowa. Poor guy is living like a transient it what we refer to as his “hole” , a very nice 1 bedroom apartment furnished with a blow up bed, 2 camping chairs and a few other oddities from our garage. I feel really terrible. I know he is not taking more because he doesn’t want the girls and I to feel as if he actually “lives” there. But the fact of the matter is that he is there more than he is here. I essentially have a long distance marriage at this point. I think if we hadn’t been through so much together already as a married couple and be in such a stable and committed marriage, this could be dangerous. I used to always use the line, “hey, if I wanted to be alone I would have stayed single.” That was back when we first got married, when I was 12 and apparently really immature and needed to be with him constantly. I used to shutter at the idea of him traveling for business. I guess I’ve learned my lesson. Traveling occasionally would be amazing compared to this situation. It’s kind of exciting, that I get to get all excited to see my husband like when we were first dating but at the same time, the parting is such sweet sorrow! Every Friday, I get all jazzed up like a 15 year old version of myself about to see her boyfriend for a hot date and then Sunday night reality slaps me right across the face and I realize I won’t see my husband for a few more days.I’m not complaining, well maybe a little, but hey what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? After the last couple years of marriage, I think I probably have strength and fortitude the likes of Lou Ferrigno! So, just to recap; job good, money good, having wonderful husband 4 hours away from myself and my girls..bites!
