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Starbucks,Keurig, Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Coke ~Collteral Damage of a Bad girl gone Good

by Deborah Cruz

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Starbucks, Keurig, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Diet coke are all collateral damage of a bad girl gone good.Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Fat Tuesday! You know that one day of year that all of us Catholics live for.It’s the day ( more like the 5 day weekend) that we go crazy stuffing our faces with rich foods, drinking  libations of the most toxic variety,and partaking of any and all activities that may fall under the verboten category on Wednesday. If there is any way shape or form that a particular item can be considered pleasurable, you can be sure, we, devout Catholics, are trying to consume as much as we can, as fast as we can. We are storing up our pleasures to sustain as over our long religious hibernation. It usually consists of a lot of really good people doing some really , maybe not so good things, for beads while stuffing their faces and filling their bellies.It’s a mad dash for the finish line before the game gets reset and we have to go to the back of the line. It should be renamed  Sodom and Gomorrah day because unofficially, that’s what it is. It’s the day before the day that we make a great sacrifice for the next 40 days. It’s sort of our annual last hurrah. Because, really….we KNOW it’s going to be a long 40 days and nights. Depending on what you are giving up, it could be longer. I’m no half asser . I tend to give up the things I like the most, my vices.

This morning, as we all awoke in the cold light of day with our Fat Tuesday hangovers, it hit me like a ton of bricks that today was WEDNESDAY. Yesterdays was “that” day, but today is “THIS” day…Ash Wednesday. The official start of our 40 day sacrifice. For my very first accountable Lent, I gave up red meat. Oh No she didn’t. OH YES, I DID! And to prove that I’m no half asser, I was a vegetarian for the next 10 years. I was eventually done in by a McDonald’s cheeseburger, but I digress, that’s an entirely different post. I’ve given up cursing in the past. I realize that I should be embarrassed that cursing is something that any Mommy should be in actual need of giving up, but believe me when I say..I have a bit of a potty mouth. The worse part is that I do NOT realize when I drop the F* Bomb..until I get some gaping mouth look from a fellow Mommy, or worse..my husband. There was the year that I gave up alcohol.This was pre children. I would never willingly relinquish my Mommy juice ever again, unless with child, which I don’t really have any plans of ever doing again. But believe me, when I don’t drink,people ,who know me, automatically assume that I MUST be pregnant. But this year, I pulled on my BIG girl panties. I gave up caffeine. *GASP*

I know, I am as surprised as the rest of you. Why an insomniac prone to migraines thinks its a good idea to give up her number one vice is beyond me. Caffeine is another thing I usually only give up when with child but I feel that my addiction is getting too strong a hold on me. I’ve tried to ween myself off the Starbucks for quite some time. It is only a fabulous treat that I allow myself on occasion. You sexy toffee mocha with a couple extra shots , you really know how to speed up my pulse first thing in the morning.I have also personally been keeping Keurig k-cups in the black with my overwhelming addiction. And let’s not even get started on Diet coke. You evil bitch.I have tried to  give you up on multiple occasions. But you and your maleficent sister Diet Dr.Pepper keep luring me back in to your web of self destruction. I am thoroughly convinced that there was no forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden..it was a piping hot cup of pure pleasure..it had to be a Trenta from Starbucks. If not, it was certainly a ice cold fountain diet coke with loads of ice that sent poor Eve, and the rest of us, on our path of pain.

That’s right people. I am doing what Eve couldn’t do in the garden..I’m passing up the caffeine for the next 40 days. It’s going to be hard. Let’s be honest.I’m pretty sure, it’s going to be like Charlie Sheen when he gave up the coke. Maybe even as ugly as Whitney when she gave up the crack , oh wait, bad example. Anyways, I wonder, do they make a synthetic caffeine that I can take intravenously to keep away the DTs?I just don’t think walking around in polite society looking like I have the shakes is going to be beneficial to anyone and probably a little frightening to the countless small children that I encounter on a daily basis. They have electronic cigarettes and nicorette gum for smokers trying to quit. There is methadone for methamphetamine addicts. So what’s going to get me through my withdrawals? Anyone have any words of advice for me?

Why did I give up caffeine you ask? I gave it up because if it wasn’t hard it wouldn’t be a sacrifice. It would be easy and everyone would do it. So if you see me on the street and I’m cursing, drunk and shaking like a fool…pat me on the back and say “Way to go girl!You will be kicking that nasty addiction right in it’s big hairy ass and making all right in the world again:)” I dream big folks.Now, since I didn’t have my coffee this morning,I’m off to take a nap..how else do you suppose I’m to get through my days on no sleep!Happy Mothering!

*After reading this,I’m thinking I may need to addend this to be coffee and Diet pop.I’m not sure going completely cold turkey off caffeine all together is going to prove a wise move.Hold me. I’m afraid.

** Oh yes, I had to add this because this blog also serves as my remembrance of  my girls childhood. The Big Guy just went to pick Bella up at school and upon seeing her standing there, he promptly went at wiping the dirt off her forehead.He forgot it was Ash Wednesday and not until he looked up and saw the other mother and child sporting their ashes did he realize what he had just done.Damn lapsed Catholic:)


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BigMamaCass 2011/03/09 - 1:20 pm

I seriously just snorted!! LOL

Good luck! I could never! I am not catholic, but can I still do Fat Tuesday? 🙂

Truthful Mommy 2011/03/09 - 1:51 pm

Everybody can do Fat Tuesday! New Orleans is built on Fat Tuesday!Of course, lucky for you New Orleans celebrates Fat Tuesday every day of the year!LOL

Allie 2011/03/09 - 1:32 pm

Oh No! No caffiene! I’ll be back the day after Easter. LOL!

I was raised Catholic but got tired of all the guilt at about age 13 so never really experienced Fat Tuesday to it’s fullest.

The last thing I gave up, when I wa, like 12, was soda. It was hell.

I can be psuedo Catholic with you and give up bitching. LOL.

Good luck.

Truthful Mommy 2011/03/09 - 1:59 pm

I;m serious. I feel sorry for my family.I;m going to be a raging biatch and I have a whole slew of family coming in for Bella’s birthday party this weekend. Should be Suh-weet! Maybe you should wish them luck:)LOL

A Mommy in the City 2011/03/09 - 8:41 pm

Wow! Go you! I don’t know what I would do without my caffeine. My coffee is my lifesaver in the morning. Good luck girl! I’m here if you need to bitch when you are going through withdrawals. 😉

Truthful Mommy 2011/03/10 - 8:21 am

I may be taking you up on your offer:) I fear this is going to be harder than I thought. My first test, Gabs kept me up half the night, she’s sick. How am I suppose to function today, Bella’s birthday, with no sleep? i guess we’re about to find out:)

Bruna 2011/03/09 - 9:40 pm

Wow. You are so strong. The hardest thing for me to do would be to give up chocolate. The more I try not to eat it, the more I seek it out and eat it. I do need to pick something to give up or something to do as Lent did begin today and yes, I’m Catholic.

Good for you with the coffee. That will be hard but I think you’ll survive. You’re a tough Mama!

Erin 2011/03/10 - 7:45 am

I didn’t know you were Catholic! You are very brave to give up coffee. Good luck with that.

Carri 2011/03/10 - 9:43 am

No coffee? Forget about it! Just never give up Throat Punch! 🙂

MommaKiss 2011/03/10 - 1:46 pm

Good Luck and God Speed.


I’m not Catlick, but if I were, no way I could do this. One year I said I was giving up wine for lent on FB and got like 890 replies saying I couldn’t do it. Silly morons didn’t realize it was a joke, p.s. thanks for the confidence if I really wanted to do it, right?

p.s. I’d never do that.

p.p.s because I’d like to keep my sanity

Jess@StraightTalk 2011/03/20 - 10:36 am

Oh mama, you are tough! I can’t imagine no caffeine. And because I’m knocked up, I gave up nothing. Heathen I know, but this kid is kinda busy with me right now so I figure Jesus is ok with that.

I suppose I could have given up cursing…but I would have been a miserable fail probably. But then maybe my kid wouldn’t have said “AY CHINA!” (Chinga) Lol. Luckily she doesn’t know what it means and she hasn’t said it again–after I tried not to laugh when I told her not to say it again.

Truthful Mommy 2011/03/20 - 11:25 am

Girl, I told you..I checked with the church when I was pregnant with Gabs. You don;t have to give up anything when you are pregnant!You are giving up your body to grow a baby, that’s more cut throat than my caffeine:)
Ay CHina! LOL BEtter than what Gabs said one day. Little nutball went on full on lunatic and let loose a tourettes like slew of the F* bomb!Oh, yes…in english no less in front of people. It was one of my prouder Mommy moments. Damn it, why can’t she just cuss in espanol like your girl:)


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