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The Weight of the World is My Number on the Scale

by Deborah Cruz 2012/01/22

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Size 8, 12, and 14

I joined Weight Watchers on Friday the 13th~ I was inspired by my good friend, Lori of @mommyfriend. Her honesty and bravery have given me the strength to finally be honest with you about my biggest fear. My weight. I have been terrified of the the scale all of my adult life. More petrifying was that someone, anyone, would find out the number on the scale. Even though I may look overweight (as you can plainly see) I’ve become accustomed to pushing, pulling, nipping, tucking, spanxing and hiding the “fluff”. It’s amazing the power of a shaper these days. Those suckers must be made of of some super strength material from the planet Krypton. But when you remove the spanx, the fluff remains, no matter what angel you try to position yourself. Suck in, lay down, to the right, to the left; no matter what…it’s still there.

Weight is more than a Number on the Scale

I’ve done Weight Watchers once before. I lost 25 pounds, which sounds like a lot but I had a lot more to lose. Then life happened, as it always does, and we moved half way across the country. I missed my Weight Watchers group. I missed the support. I tried other meetings. I tried a couple different places. But it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same. My state of mind wasn’t the same. I was stressed and irritable. I turned to my old friend for comfort, and I gained the 25 pounds I had lost plus another 11. I was the heaviest I had ever been in my entire life and I felt miserable. I feel miserable.

I felt fat. I felt slovenly. I felt ugly. I felt out of control. I wanted to hide from the world. I started avoiding social situations out of fear of the audible gasp at the gain. Or worse, the disappointment in people’s eyes from gaining back what I had worked so hard to lose. I felt like a failure. I don’t do well with failure. I am the person who succeeds at whatever she sets her mind to so gaining this weight was a giant failure. A black mark on my very soul. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve never stopped trying to lose weight, but it’s not been the priority lately ( back went out, severely sprained my ankle, and holidays). Complaining seems to have been a lot easier.

I spiraled deeper and deeper into my black hole. I felt as if I were smothering beneath the weight of the guilt, the sadness, the grief of not having more control over my health, my body, my life.

I am more than my weight

I have started this journey so many times that it makes my head spin to think about it. I feel like the little boy who cried wolf, but instead I’m the woman who cried diet. No one believes it anymore. Have you done this? Broad sweeping declarations , “Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life. I WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT!” The problem is, even I stopped believing it was possible. Then lately, people and inspiration have been put into my life to prove that it is possible.

I know some of you know exactly what I mean. Some of you don’t have to because you are naturally thin and to you I say, “I am so freaking jealous and I hope you never know the misery of having to lose weight.”

Last week, I joined Weight Watchers. Last week, I weighed myself, Friday the 13th, 2012, and I weighed 243 pounds. ( I will pause while you pick yourself back up off of the floor). No, I am not 8 foot tall. I am 5’7″. I am very overweight. I wear a size 18 pants. I am not telling you this because I am proud. In fact, not even my closest friends or sisters know my actual weight. I am sharing this with you because I REFUSE to be a slave of that number anymore. I will no longer hide in the shadows of life because of the number on the scale. It has never defined me but it has kept me from broadening my definition lately. No.MORE! In my first week I lost 5.8 pounds. I am very proud of that small accomplishment of losing that weight. And you should be too if you’re on your own weight loss journey. Another way to reduce the stress of losing weight, is to take weight loss supplements such as Biofit. But before you do, it’s important to do your research first. There’s plenty of Biofit reviews online that you can read to know if this supplement is suitable for you.

I’m telling you now because I am encouraging all of you to stop defining yourself by the fucking number on the scale. You are a bigger and better than that. Your value is not in the size of your pants. By telling you my number, I have taken away it’s power over me. It’s not a secret anymore. I AM changing that number. It might take me months, or even years, but I’m not stopping. I can’t. Not this time. This time it’s personal. I want to be healthy to be around to play with my children, dance at their weddings with the Big Guy and chase my children’s children around. I want to be able to dance my ass off on my 40th birthday this September in something cute and short; not the size of a toddler bed sheet.

I don’t know what’s lit this fire under my ass and compelled me to be so freaking honest with you, maybe it’s the new sassy hair cut or maybe I am simply tired of trying to hide my weight from the world. I am more than just a number on a scale. I am all kinds of awesome but I do want to change the packaging. I want to be as proud of the packaging as I am of the gift inside. I hope my honesty inspires you to free yourself from the weight of your world and face your fears; whether it be a number on the scale, an unrealized dream or anything that brings down the happiness quotient in your life. What is the greatest weight in your life? Will you join me in freeing yourself from the weight in your world?

Weight, you have no power over me

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2012/01/22 43 comments

Weight Loss

One Mommy’s Journey to Learning to Love the Skin She’s In

by Deborah Cruz 2011/09/17

written by Deborah Cruz

Weight loss~ As I told many of you about a month ago, I have started training with a personal trainer because I want to finally take weight loss to the next level. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve wanted to beat this weight loss demon into submission for a long time and I’ve tried just about everything under the sun to lose the weight. Sure things worked, but weight loss is not a destination, it’s a journey. Weight loss is the longest and hardest journey that you will probably ever endure in your lifetime. I know it is mine but finding comfort in my own skin will be absolutely worth it.

Week 1

Weight Loss Journey week 1

I have been working out with my personal trainer/little brother Jose for 4 weeks now. We work out 3 days a week for about 2 hours. I do an hour on the recumbent bike ( burning a whopping 400-500 calories….can you say awesome!) and then he works me out for an additional hour with a mix of cardio, strength training and the weight machine. It is exhausting but I want that weight loss and the comfort it will bring in my own skin. Let’s be honest here, I was NOT in the best shape. I have barely worked out all summer. This little plan of his kicks my ass, no joke. But these are my options, stay overweight, unhappy and unhealthy or work my tail off (literally) for this weight loss. Yes, on my last physical I found out that my blood pressure was slightly elevated and cholesterol and sugar were both elevated. This is my body on little to no exercise and crappy food options. I made wrong food choices and got very lazy. That is it. I did this to myself. No one force fed me pizza and french fries. Nobody made me hit the drive-thru at Dairy Queen. I did it all and , now, I must work harder than I’ve ever worked in my entire life to get back into shape. I can tell you, it is much easier putting weight on than taking it off. I’ve also discovered this thing called a Bosu ball.I had never heard of it before but my brother swears by it and I know it surely kicks my ass. It’s basically one of those exercise balls cut in half and put on a stand, whatever it is..it works your abs in a ridiculous way. You will be sore but you will lose inches.

No more waiting on weight loss

Speaking of inches, ahem, I have lost 7 inches on my body. Of course, I have been building muscle so some spots have actually gained an inch ( I’m talking to you juicy bootie) but I did ask my trainer to focus on getting me a derriere, so I blame myself. I can feel my core is much stronger and I have more energy. I don’t feel as slovenly as I had been feeling and I can feel everything tightening up. I actually did jumping jacks the other day. JUMPING.JACKS!! I know, they sound harmless but let me tell you I haven’t done jumping jacks in YEARS! Have you? Who does that anymore? They are so 1977! When he told me to do them, I really wanted to sucker punch him…in the face. I immediately had a vision of a hidden camera and me doing jumping jacks on YOUTUBE.The humiliation. I mean I’m no Scarlett Johansson. I thought of all the different body parts that would be going in different directions in slow motion ( because everything humiliating happens in slow Mo, right?) But, I asked for this and I’ve committed myself to losing this weight like I’ve committed myself to my marriage. I am ALL in. So, you know what I did? I jumped and I jacked and I didn’t get a black eye and my loose stomach didn’t have to be lassoed in, even my bat wing arms stayed relatively in control. It felt good to do it. And when I was done,my little brother told me how awesome of a job I did and how proud he is of me. I bet Bob and Jillian don’t give hugs to their sweaty messes after a particularly brutal workout.

This week, I added to it the power of Weight Watchers. I’ve done Weight Watchers before and it seems to work really well for me. I think it’s the blend of being able to eat the foods I want, in moderation and within points, tracking every single bite, taste and sip that enters my pie-hole and the accountability. I’m not doing meetings this time because I am accountable to my trainer , my scale and you guys. But the online tools seem to be really keeping me on track with my food. This morning I stepped slowly onto my awesome new Eat Smart GoFit scale,which I will post about so you can all see for yourself how truly amazing this thing is, and there was a loss. After five days on the WW points system, I have lost…3.8 pounds. I’m thinking I should have started the points system from the start but I really needed to get in a routine with the working out. That is usually where my hiccup lies. I am pretty happy with these results. I am kicking weight loss ass, slowly…but surely. Here’s my 4 weeks of personal training photo.

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Week 4; This picture looks bigger because I am closer to the camera but what can I say..my photographer is 4! I work with what I got:)

I realize that it doesn’t look drastically different BUT I also realize that change takes time. I didn’t gain a shit ton of weight in a day and I won’t lose it in a day. The difference this time, from all the other times, I know that eventually I will feel comfortable in my own skin. If I continue putting in the effort at the gym, paying attention to what I put in my mouth, portion sizes and only eating when I am hungry and not when I am bored, nervous, stressed, angry or sad; the weight has to come off. It has to because if it doesn’t come off with Weight Watchers and kick ass personal training sessions, then there is something very wrong with my metabolism and I will be forced to trade it in for one that works. I was asked by a couple readers to keep you all posted so I will try to do an update post once a month with a photo. Maybe if I ever have the good sense to put my make up on before the photo is taken, I can remove that lovely big pink “KaPow” sign off of my face. Have any of you ever undertaken a weight loss journey? What did you do it? How did it work out? What keeps you motivated to get healthy? What is your favorite weight loss tool? Share your weight loss stories, we can be each others weight loss cheerleaders.

Weight Loss ~Learning to love the Skin I’m in

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2011/09/17 7 comments

Health

Maggie Goes On A Diet~The Consequence

by Deborah Cruz 2011/09/05

written by Deborah Cruz

Last week, I wrote an article about the Kramer book Maggie Goes On a Diet. It’s an open wound sort of topic for me with my sensitivity about this subject but mostly I am bothered by the probability of the damage that will be caused by the message in Maggie Goes on A Diet. The premise of Maggie Goes on A Diet is basically that a young girl, Maggie, age 14, looks in the mirror and decides that she does not like what she sees in the mirror. Maggie then decides to do something about her weight problem and Maggie goes on a diet. This should be an empowering message, right? I am fully aware that we, as a nation, are in the midst of an epidemic of obesity of epic proportions. I see it everywhere I look, even in my own mirror.

My issue is that this book goes on to say that by Maggie “going on a diet” ( a word that I feel should NEVER be uttered in the presence of a child for the sheer fact of the completely negative connotation associated with it) all of her dreams come true. Not only does she lose weight, she becomes beautiful, popular and the star of the soccer team. In a nutshell, according to this book all of life’s dilemmas can be solved by merely not being fat. What a dangerous message this sends. How easily can Kramer’s message be parlayed into self-loathing, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, anorexia, bulimia and a slew of other extreme unsatisfied, not quite measuring up disorders? Since the book is written for the 4-8-year-old, how many ways do you think this message can become twisted in their little brains? Hmmm? Let me count the ways….

Maggie Goes On A Diet and the whole world is Perfect

If you lose weight you will be prettier
If you lose weight more girls will like you
If you lose weight boys will like you
If you lose weight you will be popular
If you lose weight you can wear nice clothes
If you lose weight everyone will love you
If you lose weight your parents will love you more
If you lose weight you can be anything you want to be
If you lose weight you can have anything you want to have
If you lose weight..everything WILL be PERFECT
If you lose weight, YOU will be irresistible
If you lose weight you will never be alone
If you lose weight, you will always belong
If the number on the scale is high, your life will be unhappy
If you have a little extra weight, you are not worthy of happiness
If you don’t look like everyone else, you are not good enough
If you are not perfect, you are worthless

And then I received a comment on the original post from a 17-year-old female reader and I know I am right. Here is her comment.

I’m a 17-year-old girl and to be honest, I see nothing wrong with this book. if my parents had given me this book…yeah, I would have been a little upset, but I would know they were just trying to stubbly help me. Everybody is beautiful in their own way, but who doesn’t want to be healthy? I mean it when I say that I am the happiest I’ve ever been because I eat right and exercise daily. This book’s message may just as well be a small step to help you onto your pursuit of happiness * 17-year-old reader*

Do you see what is happening? She is already programmed and defensive. She’s been affected by this sort of mentality. She would have been happy, though upset a little if her parents had given her Maggie Goes on A Diet. Her last sentence is the most troubling, equating Maggie Goes On A Diet’s message with helping one begin their own pursuit of happiness. If this message stands to reason, what is to stop girls from starving themselves or purging? By this message, it would be completely logical to restrict the food, amp up the exercise and be all that you can be. Maggie Goes On A Diet promises a mythical utopia at the end of a weight loss journey to children who still believe in unicorns… 4-8-year-olds. Diets are not for kids. Parents are for kids. Parents need to teach healthy eating habits and model an active lifestyle. You can’t be a good parent and feed your kids crap all the time and leave them in front of a television set. I know it’s easy to give in and feed Bobby nuggets three times a day because you know he will eat THAT. I know it’s easy to give in to that tantrum and just say “Sure go ahead watch another episode of Sponge Bob or play for hours on end on the Wii, PlayStation or DS. We’ve all been there. I’m not making judgments. I speak from past experience. The operative word being past. It’s easier to pop something processed in the microwave or keep the kids entertained with technology so you can get some stuff done. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve done it. But the ratio needs to be 5% coping out lazy parenting to 95% making the unpopular choices, the choices that will give our children a higher quality of life in the long run. I, for one, will not be responsible for my girls contributing to the childhood obesity statistic or will I let them spend all of their time with their derrieres planted firmly in front of the tele or the computer. I will not be the reason that they develop poor self-esteem or body image issues.

I will, however, make sure that my girls are shown by example a healthy active lifestyle. I’ve started working with a personal trainer myself over the past 3 weeks and I’ve now noticed my girls emulating my working out.They take dance. They play outside. They ride bikes. The use their imagination. I buy and prepare healthy food. Do they get restaurant food? Sure, once a week we usually eat out. But I try to ensure that they are getting healthy, clean food that is balanced and nutritious. They have to try everything twice, they must eat all their fruits and vegetable but can leave carbs on the plate any time they feel they’ve had enough. Most importantly, my girls know they are better than good enough. They know that they are a sum of their parts; inside, outside, physical, mental and spiritual. Their worth is not determined by what they look like or the size of their clothes. I don’t compare them to other children or to one another. They are individuals and they are amazing…as is. They are healthy, happy, amazing and loved.Oh, how they are loved. This is what is important. I want them to feel the weight of unconditional self-love, pride and respect for themselves not magnify their flaws into full-blown insecurities and disorders. I want my girls to love themselves with the same unconditional and boundless love with which I love them. Maggie Goes on A Diet be Damned.

Maggie Goes On A Diet~Crushing Young Souls Beginning October 2011

2011/09/05 7 comments

Weight Loss

Nutrisystem, My Real Weight & Photos to Prove it

by Deborah Cruz 2013/06/04

written by Deborah Cruz

nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, health, healthy

Yep, I’m pretty excited in the morning! Never mind the hair, this is a woman on a mission.

Yesterday, something exciting happened in my life, I went back on the Nutrisystem program. I am about come clean and get really honest with you about my weight. GULP! As many of you know, I was the poster child for eating disorders for 8 years. You know what having eating disorders for that amount of time does to your body? It really messes up your metabolism. My body was essentially in starvation mode for those 8 years and when I finally began to eat like a normal person, my metabolism dug it’s heels in and said, “nu-Uh bitch, you’re not starving us again. We’re holding on to everything.” Which, I deserved. My poor body has been through hell. Well, then it snowballed out of control.

2013/06/04 10 comments

Weight Loss

Nutrisystem Update: Week 9 ~Back to my Pre Pregnancy Weight

by Deborah Cruz 2011/01/05

written by Deborah Cruz

This morning marked the completion of my 9th week on Nutrisystem. I stepped on the scale and found that I had lost another pound. This brings my total weight loss to 14 pounds. More importantly, it puts me back to my pre- pregnancy weight. You know, the weight I was 6 years ago before I became pregnant with my first baby. That is AMAZING. More importantly, it is an amazing feeling. Sure,I have visited this weight in the past…as a fluke, when I caught a stomach bug or worked really hard for a few months just to kiss the tip of that weight. But not today, when I saw the number on the scale, I didn’t feel like I had to jump of the scale before it changed its mind. I felt like I earned it and I was just stopping by on my journey to say hi.

Nutrisystem has given me a confidence on this journey of weight loss. I know when I’m eating the food that it’s all figured out for me. I simply follow the plan, and eat some of my favorite foods.Nutrisystem French toast for breakfast,with frozen strawberries is absolutely scrumptious. Add to it a glass of ice cold fat-free milk or a piping hot cup of coffee and voila, breakfast is served. It tastes great and its good for you. How long have I been waiting for those two concepts to meet? It seems like forever. I wasn’t even sure it was possible. But it is and it is wonderful.

I told you in my last update that Nutrisystem has a really great campaign starting for 2011;Hooray You!NEW YOU Revolution . If you have ever considered trying Nutrisystem out, NOW IS THE TIME. They are running a $100 off the regular $399 cost of the program.The program is only $299 and in addition to that they are including the new Nutrisystem Select frozen foods at no additional charge.PLUS, Oh yes, there is more, they are including a free extra 7 days of shelf stable pantry food. I know many of you have been asking what the cost was and so here you have it,wrapped up tight in a nice pretty package..delivered to your door. It doesn’t get any better than this! So, I hope you can take advantage of this great deal. I can’t even describe in words, how amazing it feels to have hit my pre-pregnancy weight once again. I feel six years younger:)

If you have any questions about the program and how its been working for me or about how the food tastes, feel free to ask away. You know I always tell you the truth. If you need more assistance, all your answers can be found at www.Nutrisystem.com Aren’t you ready to start the revolution to the new you?

DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

2011/01/05 4 comments

Slaying My Mom Bod

How to Optimize Your Weight Loss Journey with Mounjaro

by Deborah Cruz 2024/03/13

written by Deborah Cruz

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

It’s week 8 for me on Mounjaro and, I know that I am not alone. Some of you have also embarked on this incredible journey to lose weight while taking Mounjaro too. First off, I want to give you a big virtual high-five for taking charge of your health like a boss! Seriously, it’s no small feat, and I’m here to cheer you on every step of the way. People think its the “cheater” way to lose weight but it’s not. Let’s think about it, being obese is a health issue in and of itself. If you’re obese and you’ve decided to try medicine to get healthy, I don’t see what the issue is. Just please make sure that you do it under the supervision of a doctor. Mounjaro is a serious drug with serious side effects.

As you all know, I am on week 8. Just took my 8th shot this morning. I am still at a very low dose but it is doing what its supposed to do for me…lower my glucose numbers, get that A1C down and begin the process of helping me get to where I need to be physically because perimenopause and stress were making it impossible. I’m not taking it JUST for weight lose but my doctor and I are hoping that’s one of my side effects.

Let me be really real with you right now, it is not easy and not everyone is going to start dropping weight, and it is not without risks. As of today, after 7 weeks on Mounjaro, I have still only lost 13 lbs. However, that’s not the whole story. Like I said, my numbers are freaking awesome and I feel great.

Speaking of feeling great, with diabetes comes inflammation, well, with my numbers being in the healthy range…this girl is walking up and down stairs without limping. I’m rocking more size 14’s these days than 16s and my clothes are all fitting better. Most importantly, I am feeling better in my own skin, which as you all know has never been easy for this recovering anorexic.

Not all wins are seen on the scale, remember that. Also, slow and steady is sometimes the only way you can finish the race. All that being said, I want to optimize my efforts to getting healthy. I can’t expect Mounjaro to do all the heavy lifting on my happy and healthy era, get fit girl era.

Now, let’s get real about how to make the most of this journey. I know it can feel overwhelming at times, but trust me, you’ve got this. We’re in it together, and I’ve got some insider tips to help you optimize your weight loss with Mounjaro. I did the research so you didn’t have to and I am putting in the work, I’ll keep you posted.

How Do I Maximize My Weight Loss in Mounjaro?

Okay, let’s talk strategy. Maximizing your weight loss with Mounjaro is all about finding that sweet spot between healthy eating, staying active, and staying on top of your medication game. It’s like a three-legged stool – you need all parts working together to keep you steady and strong.

Start by taking a good look at your diet. Focus on filling your plate with whole, nutrient-dense foods that nourish your body from the inside out. Think colorful veggies, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats. And hey, if you need some inspiration, check out this awesome article for some tasty Mounjaro-friendly meal ideas.

How Long Does It Take to Lose 25 lbs on Mounjaro?

Ah, the million-dollar question! Look, I wish I had a crystal ball to give you a definite answer, but the truth is, it varies from person to person. Your journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline. Some folks might drop those 25 pounds like it’s nobody’s business, while others might take a bit longer. And you know what? That’s totally okay. Progress is progress, no matter how slow or steady.

Why Am I Not Losing Weight on Mounjaro?

Ugh, hitting a weight loss plateau can be so frustrating, am I right? Especially, if like me, you started off slow. But before you start throwing your hands up in defeat, let’s troubleshoot a bit. There could be a bunch of reasons why the scale isn’t budging – maybe you’re not as active as you could be ( I know I haven’t been in this drunk weather), or perhaps you’ve been a bit lax with your meal planning ( guilty again… often I forget to eat). Or hey, it could be something totally out of left field, like stress ( check) or lack of sleep ( check check) messing with your metabolism. Bottom line? Don’t sweat it. We’ll figure it out together.

How Many Calories Should I Eat on Mounjaro?

Ah, the age-old calorie conundrum. Here’s the thing – I’m not a big fan of counting every single calorie that passes my lips, and I’m guessing you aren’t either. Instead of getting bogged down in the numbers game, focus on eating mindfully and listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. And hey, if you want some extra guidance, chatting with a registered dietitian can be super helpful in crafting a meal plan that’s tailored just for you.

Additional Resources for Your Mounjaro Journey

Oh, before I forget, I stumbled upon some pretty awesome resources that I think you’ll dig:

Remember, friend, this journey is all about progress, not perfection. Take it one day at a time, celebrate the small victories, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself along the way. You’re doing amazing, and I’m so proud of you!

2024/03/13 0 comment

Weight Loss

The Embarrassing Side Effect of Losing Weight that No one Tells You About

by Deborah Cruz 2019/07/31

written by Deborah Cruz

Today was an amazing day. 12 weeks after being diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure, I am 30.1 pounds down. I have lost an average of 2.5 pounds a week, every week since May 6^th. I was ecstatic when I stepped on the scale and saw the number. Just 19 pounds from being in the 100’s again. Yes! However, for all of my joy and happiness with losing that weight, there was one thing I did not anticipate…my body is changing. Surprise, no one told me how to avoid loose skin when you lose weight fast and so all the changes are not to my liking.

I know, of course if you lose weight, your body will change. I’ve been pregnant before, I know the human body can do all kinds of things you never expected; stretching, giving and returning to (close to) its previous shape. I thought I was doing so well and then I saw the picture I took of myself at the pool the other day.

No, I am not going to diminish all the hard work I’ve done. I started out at just nearly 250 on May 6^th. Since then, I’ve been carb counting, walking every day for 60-80 minutes and generally living a healthier and more aware lifestyle. I’m not perfect but with portion control, dedication to eating healthier and being aware of my carb intake, I’ve been moving the scale and bringing all my numbers down to where they are supposed to be.

It’s a choice every single morning to get up and just do it. I’m choosing me and my health. I’ve been full steam ahead, laser-focused on the goal of health. As long as the numbers are going down and the clothes are getting bigger, life is fabulous but I NEVER expected what I saw in that picture. I give you…the thighgina.

Loose skin from weight loss = Thighgina

There I was standing proudly in my weight loss, in my bikini because I believe every single body is a bikini body, and there it was just standing there, blending in like a skeevy creeper, my brand spanking new FUPA meets a walrus vagina meets the sagging skin on my shrinking thighs. It was not fabulous or spectacular. When I saw it, I was mortified.

For the past 3 months, all summer, I’ve been walking around daydreaming of the day when I could shop in the regular size section and everything fits and nothing is tight or makes me look like I’m a sausage. That’s not me being mean, that’s me telling it like it is for me at 250 lbs. I was not even thinking about sagging skin or thighginas. But, that thighgina has been thinking about me. Just waiting until I hit that 30-pound mark to poke out his (yes, he’s a dude because a lady would not do that to another lady) sinister little head and say hello, at.the.pool.

READ ALSO: The Burden of Being Fat

But I refuse to let the thighgina win. Nope. Not today, thighgina. I’m going to persevere because where there is a will there is a way and I will rid you from my life. Oh yes, I will. So I’m on the hunt for all the best exercises for toning your inner thighs because thighgina will not stand. No, I am not in pursuit of a thigh gap. Been there, done that. Have the diagnosis to prove it. I firmly believe that thick thighs save lives…and iPhones from the toilet. But, thick thighs are not a thighgina. Folks, a thighgina is not pretty.

If you have any inner thigh exercises that you do to tone and have worked for you, please share them with me. I’m trying to tone all of my body as I go. I’m going the slow and steady route. I still have to lose 89 pounds to get to my optimal BMI weight of 130 pounds, or so they tell me. Today, I’m headed back to the pool and I’m taking my thighgina with me. I hope he enjoys it.

Have you ever lost or gained a significant amount of weight? How did you mentally and physically adjust to all the changes your body went through?

What are your tips for how to avoid loose skin when you lose weight fast?

2019/07/31 1 comment

Weight Loss

Nutrisystem Update, week 8~Hooray You: New You Revolution

by Deborah Cruz 2010/12/30

written by Deborah Cruz

HOORAY YOU! THE NUTRISYSTEM “NEW YOU REVOLUTION” BRINGS FRESH FROZEN FOOD TO ALL

Nutrisystem, Inc. (NASDAQ: NTRI), the number one home delivery weight loss company, announced today that it is revamping its programs by incorporating its highest scoring, best tasting fresh frozen gourmet foods into all of its weight loss plans at the lowest price in the Company’s history. Part of Nutrisystem’s “Hooray You! New You Revolution” initiative is to empower and celebrate the success of its members, and with these significant changes it will make Nutrisystem® weight loss programs more accessible to a wider audience than ever before. The new Nutrisystem 28-day program will now include one-third frozen foods and two-thirds of pantry foods. Additionally, the program previously cost $399 per month and it will now cost $299, including an additional free week of pantry foods, a gourmet money back guarantee and free shipping. The New Nutrisystem® Select® Plan, available only in the Continental U.S., can be purchased by calling the Nutrisystem hotline 1-800-891-3215 or logging onto www.nutrisystem.com.

“The launch of this program is a groundbreaking accomplishment for our team. Nutrisystem has now found a way to do what no other weight loss company had been able to do – and that is to provide home delivery of fresh-frozen foods at the lowest price in the category,” said Joe Redling, Chairman and CEO of Nutrisystem. “We spent the better part of the last year conducting extensive category research and, of course, listening to our own customers. The message we heard was clear and simple – they want great tasting, high quality foods at a low price with no gimmicks and no complicated plans. Through this system wide revamp I’m truly pleased that we’ll now be providing just that.”

Added Redling, “This winter season, many weight loss companies are launching new programs. We applaud those who are working hard in the fight to combat the national obesity epidemic but warn consumers to be wary of the newest fads and magic pill solutions. At Nutrisystem, our program is backed by the science of the low Glycemic Index and at a low price. We believe the solution to a healthier lifestyle can be just that simple.”

The New Nutrisystem Select

“Nutrisystem Select” offers gourmet, fresh frozen cuisine to every customer, delivered right to their doorstep. As part of the revamp of its food programs, Nutrisystem is adding new items to its menu including: Garden Vegetable Omelet, Margherita Pizza, Roasted Vegetable Pizza, Asian Style Beef, Roasted Turkey Medallions, and Orange Crème Bar.

The New Nutrisystem Select program includes:

· Free 24 hour, seven days a week phone access to nutrition support and counseling from the Nutrisystem team of registered dieticians as well as weight loss counselors

· Free membership and access to online tools, tips and community support on Nutrisystem.com

· Savings of hundreds of dollars compared to other weight loss programs

· <
/span>New – Gourmet Guarantee – money back if not completely satisfied

· New – First seven days free

· New – Transition plans to help keep you on track after reaching your goal weight

· Available for Women, Men, Silver and people with type 2 diabetes who want to lose weight via Nutrisystem D

· Nutrisystem is delivered right to the customer’s door, and free shipping is included with Auto Delivery – there’s never any center visits or calorie or carb counting required

“As the nation continues to spiral into an ever-worsening cycle of obesity, we’re taking action now that will make our weight loss programs more accessible to more Americans than ever before. When crafting this new program, we recognized that the barriers to dieting and the reasons why people fail often comes down to a matter of cost, convenience and eating foods that taste good,” said Dr. Bruce Daggy, Vice President of Research and Development of Nutrisystem. “Feedback from our members has always given the highest food ratings to our frozen foods, but cost has been a barrier. One of the most important aspects of our programs that will continue is our adherence to a balanced diet based on the low Glycemic Index. We recognize that weight loss and health is not just about counting calories. Our focus remains to support a sensible and sustainable approach to eating.”

To order the new Nutrisystem, visit www.Nutrisystem.com or call 1-800-891-3215.

2010/12/30 6 comments

Health Mental Health

Letting my Full Figured Freak Flag Fly

by Deborah Cruz 2011/03/23

written by Deborah Cruz

Today , I stopped over at The Curvy Girls Guide and read an article about all these brave women telling the world their weight and posting beautiful pictures of themselves. In the article Getting Real about Your Weight, I was hit immediately by how deeply I could relate to the first paragraph

“For twelve years, I have hidden my weight from my husband, refusing to step on a scale in front of him. This man sees me naked every day. He’s been in the bathroom while I pee. He’s held my hair while I vomited (from the flu…not tequila…give me some credit here). He has touched every single inch of my body. Yet, my weight has been a shameful secret.”

I have spent most of my adult life, as long as I can remember, obsessing over my weight. Always wanting to be just that 10 pounds less. I’ve been a 5 and a 20 and everywhere in between. This is not an easy thing for me to admit..or accept. I am very sensitive about my weight and have gone to extremes to keep it down. This is evidenced by the time my all consuming fear of the freshman 15 sent me into an 8 year battle with anorexia and bulimia. So obviously, when I see these women being so loud and proud. I am simultaneously impressed and proud of their courage but at the same time the thought of sharing my actual weight “in numbers” horrifies me and I think I would avoid it at all and any costs.

But in the fall of 2009, when I was the heaviest that I have ever been, I just felt that I had to tell my husband. I know he has eyes and can see but for the same reasons that I kept my deep dark secret, I needed to be honest with him.For the 8 years that I was consumed by eating disorders, I was a liar( to myself and everyone around me..about food), a manipulator ( I could convince people that they had seen me eat, even when they had not), I was not the person that I wanted to be..aside from the body.It left me feeling guilty and shameful. They say you are only as sick as your deepest secrets, well, I needed to unburden myself of the weight secret before into sent me back into another tail spin. I had to be honest with him as a way of being completely honest and accountable to myself.

My husband knows about the history of eating disorder, he was a big catalyst for why I stopped 13 years ago. I just couldn’t face the thought of him finding out on his own and thinking I was completely crazy, or worse marrying him and getting so consumed by the disease that he lost me. Either way, I pulled a Charlie Sheen and I made the decision to stop, and I followed that by 3 years of weekly therapy. Yes, I’ve examined myself inside and out..several times.

But fall of 2009, more nervous than I was the first time I had to break the news to him that we were pregnant, I took a deep breath and I made the decision to say the number out loud. With trepidation, I uttered those three numbers.It was terrifying, sad, and scary.In that moment, I faced my biggest fear.

Now,I am working hard to get this weight off and keep it off the healthy way with the help of Nutrisystem, this really helps me with my portion control. I am also , as an ex Weight Watcher, counting calories and watching points and getting more active. I need control of the weight. I’m not vomiting or starving myself anymore so I have to be sure that I am aware of what I allow into my body. I hate that I am this way but it’s just the way I’ve been hardwired for so long.I always say being an person who had eating disorders is like being an alcoholic, you may refrain from partaking but you have already tasted the forbidden fruit and you know that option is there..looming. I am in no danger of returning.I’m working my journey and I will get to where I feel good in my skin and then I WILL PROCLAIM MY WEIGHT WITH PICTURES AND A VLOG. But for now, I’m still a little too raw about the number on the scale, the size of the jeans, and the way my clothes hang on my body.But I will get there, not to a number…to the feeling, of comfort and grace. Curvy is beautiful but we all have a place where we need to dwell within ourselves that leaves us feeling beautiful and peaceful.This is all that I want, that’s all that anyone wants. Isn’t it?

But I wanted to point out these beautiful , brave women. Please go check out the article and leave them so me love. And if you’ve ever been where I’ve been, love yourself. You are beautiful. You are amazing!

2011/03/23 14 comments

Health

A journey of 1000 Miles starts with a Single Step; The First Day of the Rest of My Life

by Deborah Cruz 2010/11/01

written by Deborah Cruz

Well, after last weeks posts,most of you are aware that I have had some issues with my weight. Or should I say that I have struggled with my weight since I was old enough to realize what weight and body image were.I wasn’t necessarily heavy the entire time but you remember how when you were a teenager, absolutely everything was life or death, well for me the entire focus was on my body. I had thin athletic parents and all my friends were stereo typical cheerleader types in high school.So, that made being average sized feel like I was morbidly obese, though I was not.

Then I went away to college and I was so deathly afraid of gaining the “freshman 15” that I literally started starving myself to death. Since then, its been a string of me trying to find a way to keep my body at a weight that was healthy without starving to death or restricting myself.It’s a hard balance to find.I’ve lost and I’ve gained, like most women in America. ..the world, really. You start having children and before you know it, you’ve put on a few extra pounds here, then a few more there and soon you are looking in the mirror and wondering who the hell this person staring back at you is in the mirror. Being a Mommy, I am guilty of always putting my girls first. I try to find time for me but it is truly few and far between, especially now with the Big Guy gone so much for work. A couple months ago, I decided it was time to find my way back to “me” in Mommy. I really made a concerted effort to find some me time, exercise, make myself look presentable, date nights and some of it has stuck and some has not.One of the first things I noticed to go, as I sit here typing in my yoga pants and sweatshirt, was the taking time to get ready in the morning.Don’t get me wrong, the reminder has eliminated the yoga pants and ponytails appearance every day. But I realized as I don’t feel good in my own skin; my body isn’t where I want it to be, it has become harder to feel presentable..even in a nice dress and a hot pair of heels.

This was in September this year on my Birthday.This is what I look like today as I start this journey!

So, I have resolved that I need to lose some weight, for me. Not for my husband or society but for me.I was joking and told my husband that I was going to call this journey my journey from hot mess to hot mommy but that’s not true. I am NOT a hot mess. I’ve pretty much got it together,with the exception of my weight. I’m simply a woman on a journey to feel comfortable in my own skin. Lucky for me, I have been given an amazing opportunity to be a part of the Nutrisystem Nation blogging program. They have agreed to help me on my journey by providing me with the tools and convenience to reach my goal this time, in a healthy way. No, I’m not making a big reveal of my starting weight..I’m honest, not crazy, but my weight is the one thing I keep private. This is a very big deal to go public with my weight loss journey because it is the one part of my life that is usually off limits. But I trust you, you’re my friends. You’ll be supportive and that’s what I am counting on. You are my accountability.I will keep you posted once a week on my progress.

You, my friends, have been with me through the metaphorical thick and thin of my life over the past year, now I need your support in the the physical thick and thin of my life. I’m starting this journey today…right now. My plan is to combine a lot of Nutrisystem with a good amount of Zumba and a brand new perspective. I want to feel at home in my own body, not like I am visiting a strange planet. I want to be healthy,I want to be a good example for my girls.I want to be able to keep up with my 3 and 5 year old. I want to not be mortified to get in a bathing suit for swim lessons.I want to believe my husband when he tells me that I am sexy.I want the mirror to reflect someone I recognize.I want to be around for a long time to see my children grow up and have my grandchildren. I want to be comfortable in my own skin!

2010/11/01 18 comments

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