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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Search results for: “let it go”

  • I’m HARDCORE!

    I 3 weeks ago just received this beauty from the awesome Ms.J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com, who happens to be one of the most hardcore chickies I know. I have been so wrapped up with all the craziness that is my life  my Mommy/wife duties that I completely forgot to post it and pass it on. Be rest assured, ~J, I am so honored to be the recipient of such an awesome award. Thank you for thinking I am , indeed, hardcore! I’d also like to thank my husband who has left me with this single mothering gig throughout the week, which is indeed making me more hardcore by the minute:) Thank you to my girls, without which this would be a blog about nothing. Most importantly,thank you to my readers…YOU are Hardcore and I love you all!!
    The ‘rules’ of The Hardcore Award are going to be…
    Link and list 5 (or less) people who you think are awesome, amazing and rockin’ and then share a few things that you think make YOU awesome!  I think that people are so used to being humble and don’t want to seem narcissistic but Mami thinks EVERYONE should think they are awesome and amazing and rockin’.  Maybe your an amazing baker or you have a great butt…whatever it is…tell the world and feel good about it!  Yeah!  Oh and you need to let them know someway (a comment is prob easiest) that you have awarded them.”
    What makes ME awesome? I think I excel at all that I do, when I am not overwhelmed and failing at it! I am an overachieving multitasker and a perfectionist. I  am a big boobied hot mess who loves with all that she is, makes a fool of myself on a pretty regular basis to make those I love smile.I am honest to a fault, masters wielding intelligent , fashionista when I have the time and desire so not too often anymore, hardcore effin MOMMY, WIFE, FRIEND, and BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE! Oh yeah, and I am Modest…very Modest!
    I think if you read my blog-you must be hardcore-but I’m gonna adhere to Mami’s rules hook up a few specific people!
    • Mrs.Beer@https://thebreweryblog.blogspot.com/
    • Peryl@https://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum
    • Jennifer @ https://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/
    • Gucci Mama @https://www.mamastillwearsgucci.com/
    • The Vegetable Assassin @https://vegetableassassin.blogspot.com/

    I know its probably faux pas to give the award back to my giver but I just want to say, ~J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/ really is awesome. Please go check her out. Her blog will leave you in stitches and she always has great giveaways! Happy Mothering all!

  • The Do Over Proposal that I Never Expected

    When you were a little girl, what did you imagine your perfect proposal to look like? If you’re a guy, did you agonize over how to propose and make sure that you got a yes? I guess that would be stressful. I never really imagined the perfect wedding proposal. For me, it was more about the perfect guy proposing.

    Not perfect like a Greek god. Not perfect like a model or earning a certain income. Perfect in that he loved me unconditionally, just as I am. Perfect in that I loved him the same. The perfect proposal to me had nothing to do with anybody getting down on their knee and everything to do with being willing to stand by my side for the rest of our lives.

    Our original proposal was nothing short of comical. Endearing and filled with good intentions but more impulsive than it could have been. I was shocked and I was flattered but mostly, I was knocked off my feet by how soon in our relationship he knew that I was “the one.” I had never been anyone’s, “the one” before.

    After 12 months of relationship I was already choosing between wedding ballrooms and dresses, 11 years later, I finally got “the proposal”. The one you read about on fairytale wedding blogs. The ones photographed in perfect sunset light and captured in remote destinations. Only, mine was in my living room.

    This past weekend was the Big Guy and my 11th wedding anniversary. It was pretty special since last year for our 10th, he had just been downsized and our whole life was up in the air. Not much celebrating went on last year. This year, however, was a completely different story.  Is it really possible that I can be more in love with this man by the day?

    READ ALSO: I F*cking Love You Man

    We met in college, at a bar, through a mutual friend. He very nonchalantly looked down at me ( since he is a towering 6’5″ ) and said, “Hey”. I barely warranted a nod. I thought, “What an asshole!” Anyways, fast forward 4 months and there he is in yet another bar proposing. I was shocked and ill-prepared for such a question.

    We had been dating exclusively since a few days after the “hey” incident but isn’t 4 months really soon? Did I mention he asked me in the middle of a bar? No big drop down to your knee with a ring, hush over the crowd, as the DJ booth announces that the big guy needs quiet. No, just a “will you marry me?” in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a dance, in the middle of a night of drinking. WTF? I was shocked. I was flattered. I was confused. I was lucky. It took me a couple days to give him an answer, because as I mentioned…I was shocked. In 4 months, I was not expecting a ring.

    Being the list making thinker that I was I thought about it and realized listen to your heart, ” Are you, crazy girl? It’s too soon. Then I thought to myself, are you crazy girl…he’s amazing and you love him. This is the way it was all going to end up anyways. He just figured it out first! (That’s why I’m lucky).”

    Then I said yes, then I got a ring. He liked it but he wasn’t forking out money to put a ring on it if I didn’t say yes. I did tell you we were in college, right? Anyways, that was my first proposal back on January 28, 1998. The one that I found out later was supposed to be Valentine’s Day proposal ( how romantic) but he was nervous and jumped the gun…that’s why he didn’t actually have a ring on him.

    For our 5th wedding anniversary, he got me an upgraded ring. My original one was beautiful and it is very special to me but my 5-year one was something else. Lots of sparkle and shine, just like I like. Then he whisked me off to a hot and steamy vacation for two in New Orleans. I came home with really frizzy hair from the heat, and I’m pretty sure all the booze and love gave me our first daughter. Talk about a souvenir!

    READ ALSO: Ten Things to do in New Orleans to Get Pregnant

    Fast forward, 6 years later to our do over 10 year anniversary ( our 11th anniversary) and the big guy has once again, shocked me! Oh yes, Ladies, he came home ( from out of town work) and the girls were napping. He had a sandwich and sat dawn and watched a little bit of trash tv the Real Housewives of New York with me. He let me ramble on about some inane scenario that was taking place and then he left the room. I figured he went out to use the bathroom, check his email, who knows. We’ve been married for 11 years, I don’t ask him where he’s going every time he leaves the room, anymore.

    I am sitting there, mind you with my grimy gardening clothes on, hair pulled back in a bun with crazy curls sprouting everywhere from the humidity…not a stitch of makeup on. I turn around and I’ll be damned if he is not next to my chair on his knee. Yes, his KNEE. I have been waiting for this my whole life. It was “the proposal”, I always wanted and never got. But I figured as long as the guy was the right one, who cares if the proposal wasn’t what I had always expected.

    Next, I heard him saying “Now, will you marry me?” I think. I was in such shock. I was so happy, I grabbed that ring and hugged his neck and squeezed him and kissed him and said: ” Of course!” ( We are planning a vow renewal for our 15th..some place warm).

    I understand now what that crazy reaction is that women have when they are asked to marry the man of their dreams when they have been waiting for it..expecting it. The ring is gorgeous. I am totally in love with my new ring, almost as much as I am with my husband. It is very special to me because it is actually the ring I was proposed to with!

    To top it all off, the next day ( our actual anniversary) we had a wonderful date ( alone without children) and it was amazing hanging out with my best friend, soul mate, the man of my dreams and just talk and hear and see one another. Then I found out he was going to propose that night at the restaurant..drop to his knee, in the restaurant..how romantic. There he goes jumping the gun..again! I so love this man. I can’t believe that he still makes my heart swoon. Thanks baby for being everything I never knew, I always wanted! Te amo!

    These are some of the pictures from date night on our anniversary! We are goofs, but I can not imagine my life any other way. So full of love and joy. My cup runneth over!

    What did your “the proposal” moment entail?

  • Going Green; every purple and pink step of the way

    I did such a great job on Earth Day that my little girls have been following me around constantly reminding me to give them the recyclables…because Heaven forbid they accidentally find their way into the actual garbage. That’s good, I am proud of them. For 2 and 5 they are pretty amazing and very planet friendly conscious.They have also become very big fans of the “if its yellow let it mellow way of life!” This irritates my husband to no end. He screams , my five year old graciously explains about conserving water to save the world. Seriously, how can he argue? Now, I promised to hang a line and use the dryer as little as possible. So we have been hanging laundry all week.It’s been beautiful out and who could resist. I am sure my neighbors think I am either trashy or a little hippie, either way, my linens smell amazing. Hope my homeowners association doesn’t come gunning for me! Today we hung out a load and it made me giggle. All you could see was a sea of pink and purple. Yep, two little planet conscious princesses live here.

    This year instead of flowers, we are planting our own butterfly, flower garden and instead of chocolates, we are planting our very own vegetable garden. The girls are super excited and so am I! Now, that being said…Mommy would still love some diamonds 🙂 You know what they say? And who can’t use a few more friends?

  • OH My BLOG AWARD!


    I just received this award from the wonderful Robin @https://yourdailydose-robin.blogspot.com/. Thanks so much! I adore getting awards. They make me smile..ear to ear! Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for giving me the coolest award ever! So here are the rules;

    1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER!
    2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
    (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.
    (b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
    (c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post.
    (d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog.
    Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever.
    (e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning,
    before you do anything else (hair, make up, etc) and post it.
    3. Pass the award on to at least three, but preferably more, awesome bloggers as yourself.
    Don’t forget to tell them.

    OK, I am choosing option B.  I am a klutz on wheels so I have a bottomless pit of “most” embarrassing moments. I will give you a couple choices and you choose which amuses you the most.1st, I was about 16 , the epitome of the girl next door. Totally in love with my own personal Jake Ryan ( boy next door). He was older, much cooler, and drove a way super cool Mustang GT that he had gotten for graduation.He used to pick me up for lunch (making me that much cooler). Anyways, one day my girlfriend and I are walking home from school for lunch..totally minding our own business. When who do I see coming directly towards us in his brand new shiny black Mustang..my all -American blonde haired, blue eyed boy next door. My ears all perk up, I am grinning from ear to ear, smiling so hard that my face hurt because I was so happy. I’m lucky my braces to slit my lips I was smiling so big. When out of no where, a group of boys from my high school pull up behind me , lean out of the car and promptly slap me square dead on my 16 year old ass, as my boy next door..love of my life at 16 , watches on in horror and then erupts into uncontrollable laughter. I was absolutely MORTIFIED!
    Next, fast forward about 5 years. I am now college hottie, wearing next to nothing at a Hootie and the Blow fish concert.I was July, hot as hell , at an outdoor concert. I am wearing short shorts, a tiny top, and the highest platform sandals imaginable. Long story short. I had been consuming a lot of beverages in the heat. I had to hit the ladies room. Of course they are playing “let her Cry”( or whatever the hell the name of that uber popular Hootie song was), they have the spotlight on the crowd. As I am tiptoeing my way down the hill (yes, it was an outdoor concert on a hill) trying not to pee myself, all the while still trying to look really cute while the spotlight is circling and I just know Hootie sees me:) I am not clear on what happened next but I do know that some how , in the spotlight no less, I fell head over feet. I know Hootie saw me because….he chuckled! Oh Lord, at least I didn’t pee on myself..or spill my drink. SO there you have, 2 very embarrassing moments in my life.
    Here is the fun part… I get to tag at least three people to pick up this award and run with it.
    ~J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/
    Nikki @https://westbrockblog.blogspot.com/
    Angelica @https://funwithbella.blogspot.com/
    Ms. S @ https://thedailymommynews.blogspot.com/

  • Where’s that damn forest?

    I’m looking over some recent pictures of my girls today and I notice something that stuns and really bothers me.Gabi looks like she is in a constant state of dishevelment ( this kid will not keep her hair pulled back. I can fix it 30 times a day and she still ends up looking like cousin  Oscar from the Brady bunch, or Joey Ramone, or any other long haired Joey you can imagine). This is not acceptable. Bella never went in public with her hair looking in such a state.Speaking of Bella, my beautiful free-spirited, always giggling Bella, now in her pictures she looks like she is unhappy. She is smiling but the gleam that used to be there is not there anymore and it breaks my heart. She is a tough bird. She is definitely the suck it up and chin up kinda girl. You never see her down, she won’t let you. She makes the most of all situations even if they are less than desirable. She is her Mommy’s daughter in that way.But pictures don’t lie, she looks sad in the way only a Mama would know. She’s missing her friends, her school, her play dates, her life. But she won’t complain because she is so smart and she knows this is the situation. This should not be the concern of a 5 year old.I also notice that I am suspiciously absent from most pictures these days because, to be honest, I feel as if through this last move..I’ve lost control. I’ve reverted back to my workout clothes as acceptable public clothing ( which they are not unless you are actually in the middle of working out) , I never have time to workout ( adding more guilt because I feel like the worst role model on the face of the earth), my straightener who I was using religiously has given way to the ‘ponytail’. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that I want or need to do.It’s not Gabi’s hair, my absence of interest in how I look, that’s bothering me, its the fact that the hair is a reflection of what has been going on in our lives over the past few months.It’s the light gone out of Bella’s eyes, the genuine happiness she used to radiate. Here’s how it went down; Daddy has job, Daddy loses job, Daddy gets new job, we move across the country,job down sizes Daddy after 8 months, we move back to original home ( since it never sold) , Daddy gets new job, Daddy moves to Iowa, we stay behind because job is contract. It has been madness all the way round…crippling madness.The girls cry every other night for their Daddy to tuck them in, to play with them outside, to do all the Daddy stuff that he’s always done. I think I am doing an OK job of functioning normally when Daddy is gone but obviously not. I know it, the girls have caught on and I have to change it. But how do I force myself to pull it all together when I am seriously doing the best that I can with the cards I was dealt? To make matters worse, I can’t even talk about it to anyone because…my friends here probably think “Jesus, get over it. You are home.You should be happy”. My friends still living where we most recently left, well, I am bitter because I miss them so damn much and I am here and they are there and I feel displaced. Nothing worse than feeling like life is moving on even though you are not there:)Yes, the world does not revolve around me..once again I am painfully reminded. I can’t talk to my husband because I don’t want to lay that kind of guilt on him. I know him, he’d quit and come home but then where would we be? I just keep telling myself, the best thing for us is right around the corner. I know it.There is no way we’ve gone through all this over the past 2 years for nothing ( God, I hope not).I can’t talk to my family because quite frankly, if you’ve not been in the situation you can not imagine how hard it is. It’s like childbirth, even if I told you ,you wouldn’t believe it and even if you did..you could never fathom the gaping void it leaves in your world. Here I sit, writing it all out hoping to find some catharsis. I may not be able to fix this ‘situation’ but I can fix my reaction to it. So, tomorrow, whether I feel like it or not, I will be getting “ready” before going into public. I will make myself ,once again, a priority. Because, baby, you are what you think you are and if I don’t think I am worth it, neither will anyone else. But most importantly, I am making tomorrow Bella and Gabi Day, as will be every day from now on ( well, at least most days..once in a blue moon Mama may need to keep herself sane:). For now, I have to chin up and chest out. I’m bringing back that gleam in my baby’s eyes, no matter what it takes.I just wish it didn’t take me having to look at pictures to realize what was going on right in front of me. I guess its true, sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.

    Happy! Last year before “the move” and all the chaos!

    Messy hair, disingenuous happiness!

  • Drum roll please

     

    Holy mole, batman! I feel special. I received a obscene amount of awards in a matter of 24 hours and I want to say thank you to all of you lovely ladies who have seen fit to bestow them upon me! Y’all rock!
    I would like to thank Jacqui@
    The Ins adn Outs of a stay at home Mommy and wife,  cfoxes33@
    Lifting you up, and NIkki @ My Fantabulous WOnderful Life
    for giving this award to me.
    The Rules:
    1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
    2. Share 7 10 things about yourself.
    3. Pass the award along to 10 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
    4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.
    Rule 1:
    See above.
    Rule 2:
    1.Despite hating ponytails, I wear them frequently.
    2. I feel like my intelligence is being completely wasted.
    3.I’m considering not attending my reunion because it feels like 
    moving backward instead of forward.
    4. My best friends are my husband and my 2 daughters, 2 Nikki’s & a Sarah.
    5.I love to workout but hate getting started.
    6.I despise stupidity,laziness, and liars.
    7. I am Marsha in the Mexibilly Brady bunch.
    8. I was engaged to my husband within 4 months of meeting him.
    9.My biggest fear is not having a close relationship with my daughters
    when they grow up. My Mother and I are like night and day.
    10.It is my dream to be the next DOOCE!!
    Rule 3: I am bestowing all 4 awards to all 10 blogs!
    1.Sofia @ The Brewery
    6. Robin @Your Daily Dose
    7. Aunt Becky @ Mommy Wants Vodka
    8.Debbie @ DEbbiedoos
    9.Laina @Reflections of a Navy Wife
     Rule 4:
    I will be contacting you ladys in a few. 

    The next award was given to me by SFarell @ My Perspective. Thank you for the Sunshine Award!

    For this award I must pass it on to  12 10 bloggers( its 2 am I can’t think of 12 right now:() I enjoy. And the nominees are:



    Then I got another couple of awards from NIkki @ My Fantabulous WOnderful Life
    The first award is the Fabulous Sugar Doll Blogger Award. The rules are you must write 10 things( I just incorporated them into my list above) about yourself and share this award with 10 other bloggers
    The final award is the One Lovely Blog Award.  Pass it on to bloggers who deserve this award.


  • Oh Cinderella…

                                               ( I think the picture speaks for itself!)

    Believe it or not my 5 year old, when she wants to, can be an exceptional help. Normally, I am in full on crazy “gotta get it done” mode and just whiz past her when she is offering to help. I know there are lessons to be learned in letting her help but sometimes the mess I get in return is just not worth it to me. I know, awful , awful woman I am. But today, I let my little Cinderella help. She was all into rinsing the dishes until she realized it was kinda gross and not really as much fun as she had apparently previously thought. Right in the middle of all the excitement, Bella: “Umm, Mom! I don’t really care for this!” Me:” Really? Cause it’s my favorite thing to do.” Bella (completely vexed)”REALLY?” Me: “No, not really. Sometimes, in life, we have to do things we don’t like because we are supposed to or have to.” Bella: “Yeah, well , I don’t like that rule!” (Me neither baby, me neither.) Look at that, I did some completely accidental good mothering…”Go Debi Truthful Mommy, its your Birthday!!” Now,  if I could just convince her little sister that its so much fun to put away laundry!

     
    Really don’t know why Bella was so upset, it wasn’t like she had to do dishes in a third world country…like I had the privilege of doing on vacation to visit family in Mexico when I was a kid.This is not a picture of me, but it was how I had to do the dishes when we went to Mexico. Bella has it easy! Maybe I should show her the picture , when she’s a little older to put things into perspective! Happy Mothering!

  • MY First EVER….Throat Punch Thursday

    Throat Punch Thursday~ So, all week, I have been waiting for Throat Punch Thursday because, let’s face it, I’ve had a crappy week and I had a ton of shit to complain about..shark week will do that ya know? There was so much I wanted to punch in the throat. Then today, asshole that life can sometimes be, the sun comes out and life is all diamonds and ice cream ( yeah, its my own new saying..watch everyone will be saying it soon). I mean seriously, the day that I actually need to have a throat punch delivered life plays a happy joke on me. My husband is coming home in the morning..yey! SO, I can’t throat punch him. My girls were super  awesome ( probably because I wasn’t being a raging bitch), so couldn’t would absolutely NEVER throat Punch them. I actually get to have a real life, honest to goodness Anniversary date with my husband this weekend, complete with fancy restaurant, movie  and drinks ( MIL is coming to sit, so I can stay out and play in peace!) Certainly, NO throat punch there. Then I looked in the mirror and much to my OMG WTF! chagrin, seems I have spontaneously developed a bindi smack dab in the center of my forehead! Can I throat punch a pimpleBindi? Seriously, the weekend of my first date alone with my husband in what seems like a hundred years but is actually more like 5 ( still…a very long time). Where’s that little bastards throat? I’m punching…and then I  am snapping a photo for posterity’s sake! Take that blemish, you bastard!

     
    Crap!! So, I was trying to look up a photo of a bindi or a pimple to illustrate my point about my blemish when I came across this photo of Bindi and Steve Irwin. Buzz kill. I have a new candidate for a throat punch, pimple step aside, the damn Stingray that killed the Crocodile hunter. It’s gotta be a hard one, its 4 years too late but it still breaks my heart. My Bella has always loved the Wiggles Safari video, as does her lil sis Gabs, and every single time I see that crocodile hunter….I want to cry. So, new plan..I’m throat punching the damn stingray who iced the Crocodile hunter. What a cheeky bastard to do some dirty shit like kill a kids hero! Bindi, this ones for you! Truthful Mommy’s going to throat punch the crap outta that stingray and maybe Elizabeth Hasselbeck too ( just because she really friggin annoys me!)

  • All the Single Ladies…is there an adult in the house?

    Like everyone else, I came across this video and was a little shocked, as I have little girls myself.

    I realize there are lots of little girls out there dancing to this song, my girls included. It has a rockin beat. The controversy is because of how these little girls are dancing to this song. I think the gyrating coupled with the outfits (OMG those outfits are something) has sent the country into an outrage. I agree that it may not be appropriate but who is at fault? Not the children. They are little girls dancing their little asses off and having a blast doing it.The person responsible is the coach/dance instructor who thought these outfits and dance moves were a good combo for 7-9 year olds. This world is full of enough perverts do we really need to give them an internet virus to catch hold of and run with? I just hate that theses little girls are now made to feel like they are dirty and have done something wrong. My God, its made the  National News . The news is making a big stink that the girls are too young to be so sexy. “So sexy”? Is there any amount of sexy that is alright for that age group? Come on people, lets place blame where it belongs… the coach/instructor/choreographer. I know the parents are being reprimanded for poor choices but let’s be realistic. Sure, they are at fault for allowing it to come to fruition on a stage in front of national media but have you ever had a child in a dance class/ organized activity? Its not like the instructor actually comes out and takes a vote from the parents. They are not particularly keen on having to run everything past the parents. Isn’t that why we pay them the big bucks and entrust our children to them? If you are like me, you insert yourself into the situation somehow via volunteering and such. We have to know what is going on with our children. This is ridiculous.What about the WOD? I mean wasn’t this routine ran passed them in the first place? Even on paper, this would have looked like a train wreck from a mile away. God knows these little girls didn’t think of this routine as being sexualized? They are proud to be dancing and getting all the applause. Its fun to dance that  hard. My little girls saw this video( they walked in when it was on the news) and said Gabs:”Wow! They can really dance!”, Bella: “To me..those girls are amazing to be able to do that!” My girls didn’t notice the raunchy costumes or know that the moves were actually air fornification. Maybe we should blame that same media that is vilifying these parents and children  because they are the same ones who wrote “I can’t really recommend this movie for adults or anyone over the age of 8 or 9. However, if you do have children that age or younger, you can’t go wrong with this movie.https://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=resources/movies&id;=7195823”. Hmmm! Did you see the Chipettes version of All the Single Ladies? Maybe that’s why these girls were so easily convinced that this was a good choice to perform to. Seriously, is there an adult in the house? Someone in charge who knows better ?  My real concern is for those little girls’ backs…I was seriously afraid one of them was going to throw their little backs out from dancing so hard. You go girls!Happy Mothering!
    DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS ROUTINE AT ALL. I JUST WISH THOSE POOR LITTLE GIRLS WEREN’T FODDER FOR A MEDIA BLITZ. I THINK ALL ADULTS INVOLVED WITH THIS EXHIBITION FROM START TO FINISH SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE!

  • Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 24 – More about choices

    Yesterday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices
    How did that work for you? It worked ok for me. As long as I keep the choices to 2 choices, 2 choices that I am willing to accept. Of course, I did have a backfire on me yesterday. Gabs  was being a little out of sorts and I told her that she could either behave and go to her first day of ballet today or continue with the craziness and not. She chose the craziness. Now, I have had to spend near 12 hours convincing her of fantastic ballet will be. I’m going to chalk that up to a major fail! I will have to choose my choices more wisely next time.

    Today’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 24 – More about choices

    Day 24: They’re not “good” or “bad;” but their choices are
    From the very beginning, we’ve always told our kids “good choice!” or “that wasn’t a great choice” to instill in them that they are, in fact, awesome, wonderful fabulous people. None of this “good boy” “bad boy” crap.We don’t want our children associating whom they are solely by the choices they make. No parent should ever tell their little child they are bad. These words have a tendency to stick with a child. Have you heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Kids who are called bad, sometimes believe it and become it.Think on that for a moment.

    However, it is their choices that can be “good” or “bad.”
    When you think about it, this makes a whole lot of sense, and it’s much easier to explain to your kids, particularly when you’ve put their little butt in time out.
    Some people use “right” and “wrong” choices, and I imagine there are plenty of variations, but suffice it to say that this works well in facilitating a discussion about making choices, which I think is something important to do now when you have major influence over those choices and the consequences that come with them. I think the best thing to do is to use non human adjectives to describe the choice. I prefer the “right” or “wrong” wording, versus the “good” “Bad” just because it is too easy for the kids to brand themselves with those words. What do you use when relaying to your child what kind of choice they have made? Let me know how it goes!
    What do you think?

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