The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Throat Punch Thursday ~ Dr.Oz of Arsenic and Apple Juice
Arsenic is harmless?
Dr.Oz of Arsenic and Apple Juice~ I won’t lie, I was a little disturbed when I heard the report last month about Mott’s apple juice and it’s high amounts of arsenic. Arsenic?? Yes, I know, like everybody else who’s ever taken a science class in elementary school, that apple seeds have arsenic in them. I know this.I try to be a good crunchy mom. I guess, when it came to giving my girls apple juice, organic all natural APPLE JUICE, I was so worried about pesticides and hormones that I completely forgot about the effing arsenic inside the damn apple. You know the apple that they use to make the apple juice. Arsenic, you sneaky little bastard.
When Dr. Oz televised his findings of arsenic in apple juice, I was not fear mongered into being cautious, I was reminded once again to put cut back apple juice on the list. One more thing for that neverending list. People are all pissed and bent out of shape, making Dr OZ the villain because they don’t want to hear what he’s saying. I know we’ve all been giving our kids copious amounts of apple juice in those damn sippy cups. Let’s be real, Organic milk is expensive and it spoils a hell of a lot faster in the hot sun in those sippy cups than any arsenic ridden apple juice. We didn’t know any better. We gave our kids apple juice because we thought it was healthier than the Kool-Aid and Tang we were given as kids. NO? Was that just my house?
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Deborah L.Rothenberg
Poor Dr.Oz nobody likes the Arsenic Police
Problem is that we don’t really hate Dr. oz for sharing his findings. He just happens to be the messenger bringing the bad news and well, we all know what happens to the messenger. The argument is that arsenic in small doses ( those allowed by the FDA, who by the way probably doesn’t allow their own children to drink the apple juice..I’m just sayin’) is not harmful. Dr.Oz argues that we don’t know the long term effects of this higher dose of arsenic. I say, at what level is giving poison to your child acceptable? I think most of you would agree that the correct answer is NONE! What next , will the out of control Dr.Besser show up and tell me red-faced that arsenic is harmless? Oh yeah? Dr.Besser how much rat poisoning is safe for human consumption? Ridiculous? Exactly, my point!
Throat punch goes to anyone who tries to tell me that ANY amount of arsenic is healthy for my girls to drink. It may be harmless but it may be poisonous. Either way, I don’t want to take the gamble on arsenic when the cost is my girls’ health. I know that it seems that nowadays everything has some sort of carcinogen, poison, pesticide, hormone, antibiotic, or poison in it or maybe we just never saw the arsenic on the label because we were too busy throwing stones at the fear mongering messenger. What are your thoughts on the arsenic in apple juice dilemma? Is this study ( or just the reminder of the topic) enough to scare you straight on the arsenic and apple juice situation? Will you be thinking twice before filling your baby’s sippy cup with ~~arsenic~~ apple juice next time? I know I will. Or do you agree with Dr.Besser that arsenic is harmless in small doses?
Just Say no to Arsenic in your baby’s apple juice
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2011/09/15
Halloween Whore Costumes for Kids because our Daughters Need to be even MORE sexualized
Halloween is here. Why does shark week always happen at the most inopportune times; vacations, honeymoon and every single holiday ever. I suppose that could explain it all, right? Shark week is upon us again, of course it has decided to fall right on one of my favorite holidays of the year, Halloween. I am quite realistically playing the exorcist in my real life right now, not of my own volition. Shark week has descended upon me like an unwelcome guest and I am trying my best to not hurt anyone but it’s getting harder and harder when I am faced with outlandish ignorance at almost every turn. Shark week will not be denied. Try as I may to resist the allure of Shark Week, it’s getting hard with what I have been faced with in the last couple of days.
The Shark Week Cometh
While I am in the throes of Shark week, I have been running like a maniac to organize the world’s greatest Halloween party because I am a total Type -A over-achieving room mother freak. Yes, I totally brought this upon myself only if YOU are a Type -A, like me, you know that it’s near impossible for a control freak to relinquish enough control to delegate. I do. I delegate but then I go a little stir crazy waiting for people to do what they say they will do. I have learned over the years to let things go but it still makes me a little tense add to that the fact that last week happened to be one of those weeks when little mean girls decided to hurt my little girls (Yes, plural both of my girls were hurt by mean girls last week).
Speaking of crazy little girls and their crazy mothers, one of the mean girls by association , invited my daughter to her birthday party. I hadn’t RSVPd because my kid starts rehearsals for the Nutcracker and we hadn’t found out the date. Let’s just say we’ve got a shiton of things on our plate and making it to a 7 year old mean girls birthday party is not a priority, especially not on shark week. I received a call from the kids mother to check if we were coming. Let’s get this straight now, I CAN READ. If I have not RSVPd and I knew the date of RSVP then you should assume to count us out because if we are big enough assholes not to respond then who wants us at your mean girl by association party anyway, right? Just me?
Anyways, Mean Girl by Association Mom calls me not once, but twice to check if we were coming. I ask what the little girl would like and the Mom’s response , “Well, She loves Justin Bieber so anything Justin Bieber would be great. She is crazy for him. He’s so cute.” I am scratching my head because,as you may already know, I think kids should be kids. She’s turning 7 not 13 so there should really be no boy crazy hormones that are responsible for her underage case of raging Bieber Fever. My girls are still into princesses and Barbies. I’m not allowing any Justin Bieber posters, dolls, musical toothbrushes, or “Future Mrs.Bieber” teddy bears in my house. Not only am I not allowing it, I am discouraging it. If it’s about the music that’s one thing but to be , at 7, thinking “He’s so cute” WTF? Not appropriate. I guess whatever, it’s not my kid but this is part of the problem with our kids today. Aside from dressing them all like tiny hookers, they make it almost impossible for them to be children because they are shoving pubescence down their throats from about the age of three.
The View from Shark Week
Speaking of shoving pubescence down your throat and dressing little girls like hookers, have you seen the costumes they make for little girls of the “tween” age and more disturbingly for kids of the “Tween size”? My daughter is only 6 but she wears a 8-10 in a costume because she is so tall. I fear the costumes available in her size for her next year are more like something a tiny little stripper might wear on theme night at the Hustler Club than a Halloween costume for a child! Does anyone need teen pregnancy explained any further? Really, because I’m pretty sure that I know what’s going on…we are shoving sex down our children’s throats at every turn. Are we such a sexualized society that we can’t even see that we are doing something wrong anymore?Have we crossed the line so far that we actually find a sexualized 11 year old as acceptable?
Obviously, I don’t live in a vacuum and I know there are different strokes for different folks but I find it increasingly irritating that people complain about the state of the world; childhood obesity, over sexualized teens, global warming, the state of the economy and so much more but these are all things that we can fix, if we are willing to take responsibility for what we are doing. We are not some helpless victims of circumstances we are willing participants in the hell in a hand-basket mentality that we collectively share. I don’t think shark week is making me particularly bitchy,I just think that shark week is allowing me to see a little more clearly the cracks in the foundation. What are your thoughts on Bieber Fever for the barely in school age and Hootchie Halloween costumes for the barely pubescent? Happy Halloween and Happy Shark Week.
Hell Hath No Fury Like Woman on Shark Week
2011/10/31
The Holiday Spirit or lack Thereof ~ How the Grinch Almost Stole Mommy Revisited
I feel like the Grinch~ This is a post I wrote last year at about this same time and I realized that the same thing is happening again. I’m just recognizing it earlier in the holiday season. I don’t want to be this person who is wound so tight at the holidays that she pops out of her face like a jack in the box at the drop of a hat. This post is a good reminder to stop, breathe and try something different. I think we’ve all had our holiday Grinch moments. Let’s not the Grinch steal our children’s holiday memories or their holiday Mommy.
The holidays for me are usually all warmth and fuzziness, mostly. Don’t get me wrong they are chocked full of craziness but right underneath the surface of all the chaos, complete happiness is bubbling its way to the surface and about to spill over. But for some reason, this year things feel… off. It all looks great on paper, we are doing all the things that should be done to make wonderful memories for our girls but for some reason, I don’t feel like my heart is in it. I don’t feel the bubbly goodness rising to the top as it should be this far into December.
Grinch, We Don’t Need no Stinkin Grinch

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am watching the finances closely since this year has been full of new jobs, relocations and maintaining separate households, which is nothing to speak of the fact that our whole life has been suspended and not quite right with the Big Guy not living here. Maybe my lack of enthusiasm has something to do with being overwhelmed by the to do lists and not enough time to accomplish the tasks at hand. I have been buried under snow for most of December and there’s been no time for shopping, baking, enjoying. Its been a series of appointments and dates. Truly, I feel like my girls are being jipped out of their Christmas. I’ve been so caught up in all the obligations that I’ve been snapping at my girls and firing snark from my mouth like an AK-47.I know on more than one occasion, lately, I’ve given them the “are you retarded?” look and may have even said something to that effect, but not quite as awful. But the sentiment was there and that is as guilty as saying the words themselves. Thoughts become words and words become actions.Well, even thinking that makes me a really horrible Grinch of a mother, in my book. I don’t want to be THAT person.I don’t want my girls to think it even fathomable that I could mean such awful words.The thought of them believing that I think they are anything less than amazing or that my love is conditional upon whether or not they are pleasing to me, makes me sick to my stomach.I want to be happy, excited and gay. I need to get my warm fuzziness boiling back over. I want to spread it all over my children like warm molasses.
Please Grinch Mommy,don’t take away their smiles
Christmas is not about things to do, places to be or presents to open; Christmas is about love, peace and people.I want my girls to look back on their childhood Christmases and remember the cuddles in front of the fire, spontaneous Christmas cookie baking, making fudge with Daddy, snowball fights, and watching Christmas Movies; staying up late to put cookies out for Santa and going to mass with the whole family.It’s firsts snows and snow angels.It’s togetherness.It’s a series of moments that form a lifetime. I want it to be a feeling in their heart.I want it to be the spirit of something larger than us; of hope, love and joy. I’m clearing out the clutter of my life and my mind and going forth, my only true obligation is going to be to see to it that my girls are happy.Everything else is secondary.
Christmas Memories Better when Mommies Not a Grinch
Fah who for-aze! Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze! Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas, Welcome Christmas,
Come this way! Come this way!
Bottom Line is this, we determine how/what our memories will be. We are the parents and it’s up to us make the most of our children’s memories. They won’t remember every single detail but they will remember the feelings associated with being loved unconditionally and all that it entails.
I am laying out all the wisdom for the teens in my post High School Confidential at Aiming Low today. Would love it if you would stop over there and share what vital piece of wisdom that you would impart on the teens of the world. Looking forward to hearing your advice.
Also, how do you keep from becoming overwhelmed, exhausted and a Grinch at the holidays?
2011/12/07
**WINNER ANNOUNCED**Fashion Haul Friday~ $100 Tea Collection Gift Certificate #Giveaway
Fashion Haul Friday ~ Tea Collection This week’s fashion find is an amazing Chica cable sweater by Tea Collection for women. I know that we all know and love tea collection for their kids clothes. We mom’s live for tea collection to have a sale for our back to school style and baby clothes. Tea collection is who we look to dress our children. Most of our children are outfitted in their awesome designer children’s clothes, but did you realize they bring the awesome in women’s clothes as well? I never even considered shopping there for myself, until now! I’m a Tea Collection convert.
Tea Collection for the Stylish Mom
I received this AWESOME Chica Cable sweater in phantom from Tea’s Modern Mexico collection, which is so appropriate because I just happen to be a little Modern Mexico myself. I ordered a large and it is very roomy. This worked out nicely for me because I am a little over gifted in the chest area and have issue finding clothing that fit appropriately in that area. If you are tiny, I suggest you get a size smaller than you normally wear since it fits so generously. It is made of the softest merino wool that I have ever felt but at the same time has some weight to it. I paired it over a long sleeve jersey shirt and it worked out as a light weight coat. I also added to the outfit a pair of cute jeans and some black UGGs. I took Mommy Chic to a whole new level. If you wanted to be more casual on the go Mom you could swap out jeans for leggings, if you’ve got the ass for it.You’ve been spinning, show off what you’ve done. Or if you want to dress it up a bit more, add some black dress boots or booties and pair the Chica Cable Sweater over something more feminine and flouncy! I may have to swap out my permanent seat in sweat pants purgatory for this Chica Cable Sweater, it is so comfy and soft. It’s like wearing one of those cuddly, warm baby blankets but with style and fashion minus the spit up and judgement.
Tea Collection; Mom Chic has never been so Fashionable
Features:
Hola chica, have you met your new cardi? Big geo cables, dolman sleeves, an oversize draped collar. A little bit Mexican and a lot modern. Surprise yourself with how chic it looks layered over something a bit more dressy. Imported.
- 100% Merino Wool
- Dry Clean
To recap, I LOVE this sweater and it has made me fall deeply in love with Tea Collection for women. Not only have they made me fall in love with them, they will make you fall in love with them too. Tea Collection is offering a $100 gift certificate to one of my lucky subscribers to use on anything you want. You can buy something for yourself ( which I highly recommend) or you can buy something for your little ones. All you have to do is fill out the rafflecopter survey below and it will guide you through all the various ways to enter.*MANDATORY: Be sure to leave a comment at the bottom of the post for EACH ( every single) entry in the comments section. Good Luck!Happy Holidays to you all.

a Rafflecopter giveaway
*Disclaimer: Tea Collection is providing the gorgeous prize for the giveaway and provided me with the product to review. The opinion expressed in this post is my own honest review of the product.
The Tea Collection: Making Women as well dressed as their children
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2011/12/24
That Day My Teenage Girl Told Me How She Really Felt
Teenage girls get a bad rap. They are painted as moody, bitchy, argumentative creatures who are just plain mean, even cruel at times and above all else, they hate their mothers. I’m not sure that’s a true representation. I know being a teenage girl is difficult on a good day.
Now, I’ve never personally hated my mom. There was a brief moment in history when I thought I knew better than her and I was inclined to telling her so. I believe it the ages of 15-17. I talked back so much, it’s a wonder that I have any teeth left in my head. I was very willful and headstrong, as children becoming adults often are. I was one step above throwing tantrums.
My mom was a saint, aside for the occasional moments when she just couldn’t stand it anymore and would, without saying a word, push her bony knuckles into my thigh. Don’t feel sorry for me, I deserved much worse and now, I know what restraint it took to not say a damaging word to me.
I always wanted to skip that part of motherhood and to be honest, I was terrified of it. It was the part when my mom and I put some space between us, or rather I did. I took every word and look as a transgression from her. She really could do no right. Now I see, how hard she was trying. After all, when I was 17, she was a mother of 4 teenagers, a 10-year-old and a newborn. I don’t know how she managed and right now, I applaud her for not killing us all.
READ ALSO: My Daughter Loves Me; the In-Between Years
People warned me of what I had to look forward to when my own girls entered the teen years. I had nightmares of my sweet, loving daughters turning into gum smacking, eye rolling, ish talking monsters but mostly I feared the wedge it would drive in our relationship. Honestly, it’s been hovering like a rain cloud for their entire childhood. I think it’s part of why I’ve tried so hard to build an open, honest relationship with my girls. It’s what I always wanted with my own mom.
Don’t get me wrong, my mom and I were close. She’s one of my favorite people but I think we could have been closer had we clung to each other during the rough patch rather than have pushed one another away. Heated emotions allowed us to walk away. At the time, I think we both felt it was to cause less damage but in retrospect, it allowed for complacency. I realized some relationships are worth staying and fighting; the one with your mom is one of those.
Here I am many years later, entering the teen years again. This time I’m the mom. I’ve put in 13 years preparing both of us for this moment. It’s been work and consistency every single day. It’s meant having hard discussions, being completely open and not being perfect. It’s meant tears and hard choices but always my heart was looking to the long game. Every moment has been a teachable moment. There is no room for complacency in my motherhood.
I never know if I’m doing it right. Most of the time, it feels like I am doing it absolutely wrong. But then every so often, my daughters do something that validates everything I’ve been doing. It’s never big sweeping gestures. I don’t want those. Anyone can do those, it’s like going to church on Christmas. It comes in quiet moments in the form of unexpected words or actions that I’m not even sure are meant for me to see. It’s in the kind of human beings they are becoming but sometimes it’s more obvious but still just as powerful and meaningful and I find myself crying because I am moved.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship
Why am I talking about this? Well, a couple weeks ago I was visiting my parents alone. No Big Guy and no girls. I actually got to be just a daughter for the first time in many years and it was glorious, but that’s a post for another time. Anyways, back to my story.
While I was at my parents’ house not being in charge and having all of my whims indulged, my phone dinged. I was mid-conversation with my mom. Ironically, it was my daughter. Wasn’t sure that I wanted to open the message because, honestly, I was in such a good mood and I just knew it was going to be the girls pulling me into an argument they were having or them trying to convince me to overrule a decision their father had made. I never do that by the way because marriage=solid front.
Anyways, against my better judgment, I opened the message from my teenage girl.
Did I mention this was during the last couple weeks of school so hell was breaking loose? The girls bickering had gotten out of control. It moved beyond simple arguing and tattling to a full contact sport and it was exhausting to watch and to mediate. This is one of those moments when I completely feel like I am failing at parenting. But, I can’t ignore my children. I opened the email and this is what I found.
<span data-mce-type="bookmark" style="display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;" class="mce_SELRES_start"></span><span data-mce-type="bookmark" style="display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;" class="mce_SELRES_start"></span>
Not going to lie. It made me cry. It made me puff out my chest. It made me feel all the feels and I immediately ran over to my own mom and showed her what an amazing granddaughter she has. She raised me, so she gets credit too. And I think we both felt all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that even if our relationship may have been strained for a few years, it made me the mom I am today. A teenager who randomly sends her mom this song for no reason at all, well, I’d say I’m doing something wrong…at least on that day.
Love your teenagers the way you loved your toddlers; same kid, different body. You keep putting that love out there, even when everyone wants to walk away and it’s easier, you keep momming that kid. You might not know it by looking at them when they’re ignoring you and rolling their eyes but they see you. They hear you. They love you and they know you love them unconditionally. P.S. It might kill me when they leave for college.
What has your teenage girl or teen boy done that’s surprised you?
2018/06/07