Incessant whining can literally cause insanity. I know…I’ve seen it happen!
Tantrums are kinda funny, unless they are in public..or its your kid.
Spanking children is unacceptable, timeouts are worthless, but threatening that the cops will come works every time in my household.
Daddies can change diapers, bathe kids, wipe asses and noses, brush hair and teeth, read books and play with and dress our kids just as well as we can; they just don’t because we NEVER ask. Relinquish control ladies. You will thank me later!
In reference to the previous truism, if Daddy doesn’t perform up to your (probably impossible) standards..Try , try again. If you don’t..that’s what he wants!
Grandparents are priceless; live it, love it, learn it!
Cheerios, Cheez its, & Goldfish are not acceptable as the norm in your car, your floor , or your bed…it’s nasty. Even if another single adult never gets into your mini van, SUV, Mommy taxi…eventually, you will have to hit a drive thru and some snarky , pimply faced 16 year old will be using you as a cautionary tale. Come on, you don’t want to give them the satisfaction. We already have to live down the whole “MOM Jeans” thing.
Even if your kid says “no”, even if you are tired of arguing..brush their hair!You’re the parent and you will be that mom!
If you ever want your kids to enjoy religion, please take them to church as children. Learning faith as an adult is so much harder than instilling faith into the heart of a child. It’s like trying to convince an adult that Santa is real!
Breastfeeding before your milk comes in, is like spending the day with an insatiable piranha.
Labor doesn’t feel like a big cramp (WTF? What crazy drugged out person said this?). It feels a lot more like an angry Ghoulie trying to stab his way out of your lower abdomen with lightening speed and a very dull butcher knife!
The ring of fire…well, they don’t relate it to hell because it feels good. It feels like exactly what they call it. I don’t know about you but I don’t want fire anywhere near that region of my body..ever.
Last but not least for tonight,
You don’t forget the pain of childbirth…EVER! Those broads that say you do…………………CRAZY LIARS!I found this out the hard way, so I know of which I speak. Happy Mothering!
Seems like everyone’s doing the ALS #IceBucketChallenge.
Well, not quite everyone. Not the Catholic Church, not anymore. Not since someone discovered that people acting like goofballs to raise awareness for a very important cause is something “bad”.
Full Disclosure: If you’ve been a reader here for any amount of time, you’ve probably already surmised that I’m a very liberal Catholic. Yes, we do exist!
Okay, let me be totally honest, I’ve got to tread lightly here but I want to write this post. Recently, “a friend” (let’s say his name rhymes with “the principal”) was nominated for the #icebucketchallenge by 3 kindergarteners. If you knew this guy, you’d know that he’s is a genuinely good guy. He mentioned that he’d been trying to decide whether or not he would take part in the ALS ice bucket challenge. In fact, he was rallying to get a couple priests to do the challenge with him to help garner more attention for the cause until he received a “concerned citizen” note that informed him that he shouldn’t do it because the ALSA uses embryonic stem research. (Cue pitchforks and angry parent mob).
She was not so subtly warning him that participating in the ALS #Icebucketchallenge would put him in direct contradiction to the church’s position on abortion. (Cue disapproving look and shunning). Obviously, this was her “Christian duty”, seeing as his everlasting soul was in peril. Sorry kids. No dunking the principal in ice water to help the sinners at ALSA. (I hope you are reading this in sarcasm font and know that I am being facetious.)
I know many people who have done it. A few of my brothers and sisters (yes, I told you we’re Catholic. Keep up) have even done it. We are big into raising awareness of important causes. I understand my religion’s stance on embryonic stem cell research but before we through the baby out with the ice water people should know that you can tell the ALSA where to spend your contribution. You can specify that you don’t want to contribute to embryonic stem research or you can donate to the ALS Foundation, which helps people living with the disease by providing supplies or the John Paul II Medical Research foundation, which concentrates on medical research using adult stem cells and other alternatives to embryonic stem cells.
He closed the letter by saying that he WILL be accepting the challenge from the 3 kindergarteners and donating to a Diocesan approved ALS charity because the idea of finding a cure for ALS is noble.
No matter what you think about the ALS #icebucketchallenge ( which to be honest I thought was kind of ridiculous until I saw the above video) but now am forced to defend it because I always thought being a “good person” was about tolerance and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Seems like some people think their morals put them on a higher horse than the rest of us. Can’t we all just help those in need?
I came across this video, that took place in a McDonald’s in Baltimore, on twitter the other day. What I felt when seeing this can only be described as disgust.How is this allowed to take place in decent society? In a McDonald’s in a major metropolitan area. Honestly, in my brief stint in the food service industry as a teenager, fast food was a breeding ground for acne and inappropriate sex under the guise of making a few dollars. I watched this video and all I kept thinking was..why are none of these men jumping in to stop these two girls from attacking this one girl. I call it an attack because what else do you call it when two girls are beating up on one person. It’s obviously not a fair fight.This attack transcends any color, race, religion or lifestyle that may be involved. This attack is so shocking due to its violent nature, lack of human compassion and infusion of hate. I’m not saying this girl didn’t start the altercation ( *as I have no context as to what was going on before this video was shot.). Hell, maybe she did but not by TWO people at the same time.( reference her talking back, safer the initial assault.Wouldn’t common sense dictate that you stay quiet and then call the cops? Just me? ) It’s pretty evident that no one in the building, perhaps with the exception of the Granny who tried to intervene, was using any common sense.Really, I’m convinced entirely that the geriatric super hero was using her good sense either…her heart and compassion yes. Good sense, probably not. I’m pretty sure she was a hair away from being the next victim. Those animals doing the beating were completely out of control and very cocky about the whole thing. I have no idea what could have prompted such a reaction and such hatred from these girls toward the victim.
Why the continuous beating? I don’t know. Why the moronic men filming and standing behind the counter didn’t pull the women apart? I don’t know. Why was the man filming commentating like Chris Tucker in Friday? Because, obviously, he is a fucking idiot. This video has convinced me that my girls will not be working in the fast food service industry. Hell, they will never even be allowed to walk through Baltimore without first being outfitted with a taser. And after I responded to the initial link tweeted , I received a tweet back from @McDonalds Corp offering this sorry press release:
Our Concern Regarding the Baltimore Incident
April 23, 2011
There’s no room for violence under the Golden Arches. We strongly condemn the videotaped assault in one of our Baltimore franchised restaurants. Working with the authorities, we now have more facts, and we want to share our actions with you.
First and foremost, our thoughts are with the victim during this time.
Our franchisee is investigating the behavior and response of his employees. Action has been taken, and the crew member who made the video is no longer employed by his organization. Appropriate action regarding other employees will take place as warranted.
We want to reassure our customers that your neighborhood McDonald’s is a safe, welcoming place for everyone. We share our customers’ concern. We are doing everything possible to make sure the right thing is done.
I am pretty sure that I will no longer be eating under the golden arches until there is a press release stating that the assailants were fired and those who stood by and watched, were suspended pending an investigation. The scary thought is that McDonald’s just had a push to hire 50,000 more employees. I wonder, is this the caliber of employees that are lurking behind the counters when you order your Big Mac? If so, I’d say you better proceed with caution. Who knows who you might set off with a “Specialty” order and, obvious from this video, no ones coming to your rescue if one ( or a group) of the employees goes off the rails and attacks you. But they do believe in teamwork, you saw how they were quick to help the girl escape once the sirens finally drew closer. I’m pretty sure the girl on the floor in full on shock, due to the fact that she had most of the hair ripped from her scalp, was ,indeed, NOT LOVING IT!
What action do you think McDonald’s should take in regards to their employees involved in this situation?
* UPDATE: Just did some more investigating and found this information from an article in the Baltimore Sun
A transgender woman beaten at a Baltimore County McDonald’s spoke out on Saturday, saying that the attack was “definitely a hate crime” and that she’s been afraid to go out in public ever since.
“They said, ‘That’s a dude, that’s a dude and she’s in the female bathroom,’ ” said Chrissy Lee Polis, 22, who said she stopped at the Rosedale restaurant to use the restroom. “They spit in my face.”
The video shows two females — one of them a 14-year-old girl — repeatedly kicking and punching Polis in the head as an employee and a patron try to intervene. Others can be heard laughing, and men are seen standing idly by.
Toward the end of the video, one of the suspects lands a punishing blow to the victim’s head, and Polis appears to have a seizure. A man’s voice tells the women to run because police are coming.
“I knew they were taping me; I told the guy to stop,” said Polis, a resident of Baltimore. “They didn’t help me. They didn’t do nothing for me.”
County police confirmed that the attack occurred April 18 in the 6300 block of Kenwood Ave. Police said the 14-year-old girl has been charged as a juvenile, while charges were pending against an 18-year-old woman. Reached Saturday, police officials said the investigation was continuing.
I went to church this morning and I prayed for all of us. After the mass shootings in El Paso, Texas by Patrick Crusius that left 20 murdered in cold blood and dozens injured, I was feeling hopeless and then intense anger. A wave of anger that I haven’t felt since Sandyhook. It’s rage. If you’re indifferent to this violence or you’re not enraged enough to be motivated to act, why? Help me to understand your silence. Why are guns and racism still plaguing our nation? This is the inconvenient truth about Patrick Crusius, guns and racism in America.
At mass, I prayed for the families of all the people murdered this week by mass shooters. Yes, there was one every single day this week. Day after day, I got an alert on my phone and every day, I prayed. I prayed for all of you, to keep you safe. But the time for just praying has passed. We need action to protect our children.
As much as I love my country and my God, he can’t do everything. We’ve got to do our part. This keeps happening because we let it. We value our guns over other people’s lives. We have a million excuses why we should keep our guns, rather than change our behavior and save the lives of innocent people. Change is uncomfortable but isn’t the sacrifice worth it? People are hanging on to their guns like they’re their security blankets. They’re not.
For years, I’ve been clear on my stance on guns. I don’t like them. I hate them. They are dangerous because people are dangerous. People cannot be trusted to behave like responsible adults. They can’t be trusted to respect their fellow humans. People may pull the trigger but bullets from guns are what kill people. Those who allow this to keep happening are culpable. End of story.
I grew up with guns. Guns are for hunting and protecting, not killing and maiming the people you don’t like. You’re not allowed to grab your gun, take your sick mind full of hatred and anger and shoot at will. That’s not how this is supposed to work.
The right to bear arms was established at a time when we needed people to take up arms to defend our country against the enemy when we had no regulated or established military. The right to bear arms was not put into law to be used as a scapegoat for every low life lacking self-esteem and hating the world. Every prejudiced person with no friends should not be allowed to amass large quantities of ammunition and guns to shoot innocent people. Yes, innocent people.
Because a person is not like you, does not make them a criminal. Shopping at Walmart is not a criminal act. Attending a music festival should not mean gambling with your life. Going to church should not make you a sitting target and dancing and celebrating at a bar, should not mean that you are relinquishing your right to life. Our military fights abroad to keep us safe and free at home, not so crazed gunman can viciously murder us from within.
The real Inconvenient Truth about Patrick Crusius, Guns and Racism in America
I’ve been clear on my stance for years and I’ve prolifically called for us all to stand up for gun control for our children. I know that guns will never be banned but we need stricter control over who can get those guns, how many they can have at a time, how much ammunition they can buy, how those guns can be modified and where, when and why they can be used. There need to be consequences for breaking those mandates and a psychological evaluation made mandatory for every single person who wants to purchase a gun, of any kind, even a hunting rifle.
I’ve never minced my words but today, I am speechless. I am angry. I am disgusted and prayers are simply not enough. Yes, I too believe that through God all things are possible. I believe in the power of prayer but I also, firmly and absolutely, believe that God helps those who help themselves. We need to help ourselves. We need to take responsibility for our children’s safety by standing up for the right things. I don’t think any parent ever, under any circumstances, would choose a gun over their own child’s life under any conditions.
I am disgusted by all of these acts of domestic terrorism. But last night, when I read Patrick Crusius alleged hate-filled, anti-immigration manifesto, my anger hit a new level. It turned to rage. It spoke of a “Hispanic invasion of Texas.” It detailed a plan to separate America into territories by race. It warned that white people were being replaced by foreigners. Again, maybe this ignorant piece of racist garbage doesn’t know his history but Texas used to belong to Mexico. We were there first.
20 people were murdered on a Saturday morning and dozens injured for no other reason than Patrick Crusius was a small-minded, ignorant man, with a hate-filled heart who drove 10 hours to murder Mexicans. And he was able to do it because it’s so easy to get access to guns in the United States. A mother protecting her 2-month old son. Dead. An infant whose parents are left behind to live with the pain of the loss of a child. Dead. 18 more innocent people dead because this monster lives during a time where racism, bigotry and misogyny are not frowned upon but encouraged by our current state of affairs.
Patrick Crusius is only part of the problem. Guns and Racism in America are the disease.
How are we, any of us, but especially people of color supposed to feel safe when the color of our skin, our last names, the religion we follow is enough to make small men not only want to murder us but able to get a gun and do so?
We need good people, those who value all human life, who believe in freedom and equality in our country to stand up against the terrorists within our nation’s borders. Everyone is so focused on keeping the brown people out that you are locking us in with hate-fueled, narrow-minded, homegrown terrorists and giving them guns at will. How are any of us supposed to survive this?
Life is about to get rough and strange and really f*cking weird but I was raised that through God all things are possible and if God brought me to it, God will bring me through it. Jesus H. Christ, I really hope so. God help America.
We’re living in times where no one is safe from accusation or above suspicion, not the innocent and not even an Episcopalian Bishop, Mariann Budde, who did nothing more than ask for mercy in a time when we are all feeling extremely vulnerable.
As an actual person of faith and spirituality, I’ve lived my life following 5 simple rules:
Treat others as you’d want to be treated …with respect, integrity, dignity and humanity. Our default setting as human beings should be kindness and we should behave accordingly as often as possible.
Never judge anyone because you never know what they’re going through, what they’ve been through or why they’re doing any of it. It is not our place to understand or approve of others or how they live their lives but rather to move through the world with compassion, empathy, love and understanding.
Respect all life and living things. Always strive to evolve to be the best version of yourself. Other people are not your competition.
Stand up for what you believe in. Speak up for those who have no voice and never give up on the people and things you believe in.
Do no harm. When you know better you do better so always ask yourself how would you feel if what you’re doing was happening to you instead of by you.
For me it’s always been very simple, do what’s right even when it’s not easy. Be your honest, authentic, true self even when it’s not popular. Because I’ve realized that life is very short; too short to live life filled with hate, fear, worry and judgement. And I can’t even pretend to be someone that I’m not.
I might be quite rough around the edges and most of the time, I’m a foul mouthed hooligan, but I am who I am and I’m always going to be the “who you see ( online) is who you’ll get (irl)” every day of the week. I just have never had it in me to want to be anyone other than who I am. I’ve been through it in my life and I’m not shrinking for anyone anymore. I’m finally in my “Me” era. I’ve worked too f*cking hard to love who I am to let other peoples opinions of me be any of my business.
All this, just to reintroduce you all to me.
As I said, times are weird and a lot of us have been feeling sad, confused, betrayed and even hopeless over the last few weeks. I know that my entire existence ( Latina woman) feels as if I’ve been abandoned and Judas Iscarioted. To be honest, most POCs and people of marginalized communities, we’re used to this being pushed aside, ignored and disrespected and though we were shocked the way some of our fellow “we the people” countrymen expelled their vitriol; we were never surprised.
Rest assured, it has still wounded us deeply this open and blatant “ we versus them” mentality when our beloved America was founded on the very principal of freedom from persecution and the promise of a better life for ourselves and our children. We are a country built upon the backs of slaves and immigrants, stolen land from the Indigenous people ( my people) and still the descendants of our first colonizers have the audacity to change the very virtues upon which this great nation was founded to serve all of “we the people”, not just the ones lacking melanin and weaponizing ignorance with untruths and unchecked deceit (all under the guise of love of country) when, in fact, it’s nothing more than the hatred of difference.
I don’t know about you but I quite love having the freedom to make good choices, to care and love all humanity. This goes beyond just those who look like me. I want to leave this world better for my children than I found it. My biggest privilege and honor in this life has been to raise good, kind, caring, empathetic human beings.
This is the resistance; choosing to do the good and right thing especially when it’s not the popular thing. Let’s do better America. We’ve always been great and we’re greatest when we’re united. We are strongest when we care and protect our weakest. We are at our best when we work together to make life better for the collective and not the individual.
The pursuit of happiness does not only apply to those of us whose ancestors came over on the Mayflower. It applies to those of us who were indigenous, we who were brought over against our will in shackles, and those seeking asylum from wars and violence. It should also apply to those people seeking a better, safer life. At the end of the day, if we want a better America for our children… we need to be better Americans.
There is no “us’ and “them” there is just “we the people”. “We” includes every American, regardless of the color of their skin, their political party, race, religion, who they love or what lies between their legs.
If you really want America to be great again, we need to start by seeing everyone as equal. Unless they show you that they are lacking in humanity, decency and character. We need to care for our poor, elderly, disabled and marginalized peoples with the same care and respect as we would want to be cared for.
God help America. Help us stand for what’s right, protect the innocent and be good, decent people with morals and integrity.
God Help America
How can we be a a great nation when we abandon our morals and respect for human life in exchange for carte blanche hatred and fear mongering. We are better than this America.
What are you doing to help the most vulnerable of us?
In the simplest terms, regarding higher education, affirmative action (which stemmed from the civil rights movement in the 1960s) is the practice of considering a student’s background characteristics such as race as a factor in deciding whether to admit an applicant. This is typically referring to admissions policies aimed at increasing the number of black, Latino, and other minority students on campus. This is really important to me right now especially because I have a daughter who is beginning college in the fall and I want her to see diversity everywhere.
This is done so that colleges and universities can factor race into the equation when considering who to admit. This is not a free pass for minority students, it is a part of a holistic approach that reviews every aspect of an application, including grades, test scores and extracurricular activities.
The fact of the matter is that even though I believe that all people are created equal, not every one of us were dealt the same hand in life. Our experiences are very different, and race plays a huge part in how our experience plays out. Whether or not English is your first language matters. Ignorant, racist predispositions that society holds tight to are holding minority children back from evolving and succeeding in the United States.
Regardless of how many “woke” people want to say they don’t see color, they are the minority and worse still, in many cases, they only don’t see color when it’s easy or convenient or doesn’t affect them directly. I’m not blind to race or skin color. I was raised to see the differences, embrace those differences, and appreciate the differences. We don’t all have to look and believe the same to deserve human respect. We don’t even have to be friends for me to respect your humanity. You still with me?
The bottom line is that the goal of race-conscious admissions policies is to increase student diversity, in order to enhance the educational experience for all students. It’s a counteraction to white privilege. Schools also employ recruitment programs and scholarship opportunities intended to boost diversity, but the Supreme Court litigation was just focused on admissions. Remember a few years ago when there was a scandal about celebrity parents paying their children’s way into college? Yeah, see, minority children don’t do that. They can’t do that. We have to work for it. We know that education is the great equalizer and to be educated is to have power so we are determined to do our best.
To be completely honest, when I was a teenager applying for colleges, I hated the thought of affirmative action. Not because it wasn’t for me. Nope, I was the exact kind of kid it is meant to help. I was a very smart, capable, involved, first-generation student from a blue-collar family who worked my ass off to get into my top choice schools. I did it. This little freckled Mexican got into Harvard and every other school I applied to.
But I never ticked that fucking “Hispanic” box, not even once. I refused to because I didn’t want all my hard work being diminished and reduced to charity by some ignorant asshole who was jealous that I got accepted and he didn’t. I didn’t want people saying, “Yeah, but you only got in because you’re Mexican.” No bitches, I got in because I’m really fucking intelligent, and I worked twice as hard as anyone else I knew. Yeah, I’m humble too.
My pride made me lose out on scholarships that I could have gotten had I just checked that box. But I couldn’t do it. I’m still paying for that mistake, literally. I refused to let anyone think I needed their charity. I was just as good as any middle-class Caucasian student only my skin wasn’t alabaster, we lived pretty close to the poverty line and my dad’s first language wasn’t English. But how could I, at 17-years-old, accept that as my destiny? I couldn’t.
You can only live for so long hearing that “Mexicans are coming over here stealing all of our jobs, living on welfare and not paying taxes.” In my house, none of that shit was true. We were taught to work hard for what we wanted. In fact, if I’m being completely honest, that is pretty much across the board for us Latinos, at least for every Latino I know.
We are not taught to take handouts. In real talk, most of us would rather starve than take handouts. We don’t take your jobs. We take the jobs we earn and deserve, and, in some cases, we even take the jobs that most won’t take because we’re taught from birth that family is everything and hard work is honorable. So, with no shame at all, we put our heads down and do the hard, back breaking work to feed our families because that is the point of everything.
When I heard that the Supreme court overturned affirmative action, I was conflicted. But, I wasn’t surprised at all. After the events of recent years and the blatant racism that plagues this nation why would I be shocked that SCOTUS did this not so covert microaggression against minorities? The more I thought about it, the sadder I got because what a boring and unseasoned life we would live with no diversity?
Our Gen Z and Alpha children, they truly don’t give a shit about color. They see it and they respect it, and they move the fuck along. My daughters don’t discriminate against anyone because of the color of their skin, their religion, their sexual orientation, their pronouns or birth gender. My children don’t care who you love or how you celebrate that love. My girls, they judge you on your character and even then, they let it go. They believe in second chances and know that people are fallible. They choose joy and love over hatred. They make better choices than the generations that came before them and they move along. If you try to challenge their beliefs, they’ll hear you out but if you’re wrong, they will stand up for what is right and what is fair. All this to say, I hope these children stay this way and change the world.
I think affirmative action still needs to be in place because minority students are still getting passed over and shut out of colleges and universities across the country. Look, my children have had the good fortune to go to the best private schools and have every privilege there is to help them achieve their dreams of university and a career. They have choices. My girls also have upper middle-class parents who paved their way. They want for nothing. They have resources, 3 meals a day, a refrigerator full of food, air and heat. Comfortable beds and don’t have to worry about things like translating for their parents or figuring out where they’re going to get money for school lunches or clothes. They have a stay-at-home mom with 3 Master’s Degrees who makes her own rules and chooses her collaborations. They have the life they have because their father and I worked tirelessly to give them that life because someone gave us a chance to work for our dreams.
But that is not what my childhood was like. I did have to worry about where I was going to get money for lunches, books, clothes and field trips. When I was growing up, there were six children raised on a factory worker’s salary and a stay-at-home mom’s love. When I went away to college, no one helped me. I had to pay my own way. As a 17-year-old, had to figure it all out. I had no support system, and it was very difficult for me. But I still made it. I went hungry sometimes and sometimes the cultural differences between inside my home and outside made me feel like I was from a different planet. In retrospect, I realize that I had to work twice as hard because my situation was different from the middle-class Caucasian kids that I went to school with, which is not their fault, but it wasn’t mine either. Being different shouldn’t be a character flaw.
Being a minority in the United States means being born with stigma and shame because the majority will make you feel like you are less than, no matter what you do. Affirmative action was an attempt to level the playing field. It wasn’t perfect but it was something and some kind of effort is better than none; if only to make us feel like we are seen, and someone cares enough to hold their hand out to help us up. It’s not a handout but a hand up. We’re not about stepping on the majorities back to get to the top. It’s about us all starting from the same point and being afforded the same opportunities to compete for opportunities, despite the differences in our skin color. That’s what affirmative action is about.
There was one weird exception to the conservative Supreme Court majority’s decision ending race-based affirmative action in higher education on Thursday: military academies. Apparently, using race as a factor in admissions to military academies can “further compelling interests,” Chief Justice John Roberts wrote.
The distinction suggests that there could be value in using race to diversify some American institutions i.e., the U.S. military’s officer corps but Roberts’ overall decision says loud and clear that it would be unconstitutional to do so at public and private colleges and universities.
I feel that the U.S. government is sending the message that they don’t mind our minority children dying in service to their country in the name of equality and justice that they can’t even fully receive themselves. By the same token, they can’t be afforded that same luxury at the collegiate level. This sends the message to minority parents that the U.S. government finds our children to be disposable and unworthy of educating. I call bull shit. Don’t tell our children they don’t deserve your help to better their situation while simultaneously telling them that they are perfectly okay to die for the same country, that refused to care whether they lived in poverty and ignorance.
According to Huff Post, Liberal Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson wrote in her dissent, “The Court has come to rest on the bottom-line conclusion that racial diversity in higher education is only worth potentially preserving insofar as it might be needed to prepare Black Americans and other underrepresented minorities for success in the bunker, not the boardroom.” What the fuck America? What the actual fuck?
Affirmative action is about equality, that is it. No one is trying to out do the majority, we just need our kids to get a fair shot at achieving the same things in life as everyone else. What are your thoughts? Do you think affirmative action in schools is a good thing? Or is there something more progressive or maybe even more effective for leveling out the collegiate playing field for all students?
Our oldest daughter, Bella, just turned 14-years-old which means next year is her quinceañera. That means this 1/2 first-generation Latina is planning my first ever quinceañera for my 1/4 Latina. I never got to celebrate my quinces and I regret that. The planning process is exciting and overwhelming but I love that my daughter and I get to do this together with a little help from our village. It’s bringing us closer in ways I hadn’t considered.
What is a quinceañera, you ask?
It is not the same as a sweet sixteen in American culture. Is it the same as a Bat Mitzvah? Closer, there is definitely a religious aspect to it. Because I didn’t get to celebrate the quinceañera tradition myself, I’ve always secretly hoped my girls would want one.
Most cultures celebrate a young girl coming of age, in the United States that’s usually done by throwing a big sweet sixteen party. For Latinas, ideally, we celebrate our becoming a woman when a girl turns 15-years-old, the age of maturity in the Catholic church. (Similar to a Jewish girl who celebrates her Bat Mitzvah at 12-years and one-day-old; the age of religious maturity in the Jewish religion). As Latinas, we celebrate this birthday with a mass followed by a huge celebration with family and friends. It’s a time-honored tradition and a big part of our culture.
I didn’t have a quince because, quite frankly, my parents couldn’t afford it. It’s expensive for a birthday party. I always wanted one and I promised myself that if my girl wanted one, I’d find a way to make it happen. That’s what I’m doing. It’s a bit overwhelming since I’ve never planned one before. My mom is not Latina and I don’t live near any of my Latina friends or family so everything is a work in progress but 100% worth it to see the excitement in my daughter’s eyes.
It’s hard to explain the entire idea of a quinceañera to people who didn’t grow up around the culture. Basically, it’s celebrated like a wedding, often referred to as a mini boda, minus the groom and the honeymoon. If you’re not raised in the culture, from the outside looking it, it looks a lot like an extravagant party for a fifteenth birthday but it symbolizes so much more than that. It’s the celebration of a girl becoming a woman and I think that should be celebrated like this for every little girl.
What is a Quinceañera?
For Latina girls, the 15th birthday marks the most lavish celebration of their lives. Symbolizing a girl’s transition from childhood to womanhood, the quinceañera is a two-part celebration consisting of a religious celebration and a reception that traces back to both indigenous and European cultural traditions. Parents often spend more on their daughter’s quinceañera than their actual wedding. In fact, quinceañeras are often referred to as mini bodas, or miniature weddings. A low-key quinceañera in the United States can easily cost upwards of $3,000. The key is to set a budget and stick to it.
When you see the quince girl (nickname for the quinceañera honoree) on her special day, the high price tag makes sense. A prom-like gown (quinceañera dress) like the ones found at PromGirl.com is the central quinceañera tradition. They’re often made of satin with lace overlays and rhinestone accents, not unlike a wedding dress. Think Cinderella dressed for the fairytale ball. Traditionally white or pale pink floor-length gowns were worn, but in modern times dresses in all colors of the rainbow are acceptable. The quince girl wears a delicate tiara or crown (corona) and during the mass, she carries a Bible or book of prayer.
The Quinceañera celebration traditionally begins with the religious ceremony. We’ve already booked our mass and priest for next year. Before anything else happens, the quince girl attends a special Mass in which she reaffirms her dedication to God and receives a blessing from the priest. The Quinceañera will also leave a bouquet of flowers at the altar of the Virgin Mary to symbolize her purity. As a symbol of her transition from childhood to becoming a woman, a quince girl gives away a porcelain doll (ultima muñeca) to a younger sister.
How to begin planning your quinceanera
A reception is held following the mass at home or a banquet hall. We reserved our hall in December, well over a year in advance. The celebration includes food, music, the quinceañera dress and most often, a choreographed waltz and baile sorpresa (surprise dance) performed by the Quinceañera and her Court de honor (honor court).
What is a quinceañera honor court?
Quinceañera custom calls for 14 damas, or maiden attendants, to accompany the quince girl and symbolize the past 14 years of her life. And a group of young ladies needs a corresponding group of escorts, which means the quince girl must also select 15 chambelans, or male attendants. Less formal quinceañera celebrations typically use 7 or 4 damas and chambelans.
At the reception is where the quince girl is officially presented to guests. She can pick a quinceañera theme of her choice. I’ve seen everything from Disney princesses to Great Gatsby. Similar to cotillion and debutante traditions, quinceañeras serve as a young Latina’s official entrance into society and womanhood and incorporate a host of unique elements and rituals that celebrate a young woman’s coming of age as well as her Latino heritage.
One of the final rituals of a quinceañera, and most sentimental, is the changing of the quince girl’s shoes. After the party is in full swing, the quince girl’s father will remove the flat-soled slippers his daughter wore to the party and replace them with a pair of heels. This symbolizes that the 15-year-old girl who arrived at the quinceañera will leave a young woman. This pays cultural homage to coming out ceremonies orchestrated by Aztec high priests in the early 1500s.
Aztec Indians considered young girls marriage-ready at the age of 15. As a result, ceremonial rites of passage including parental speeches begging their daughters to become wise, upstanding women. When the Spanish invaded modern-day Mexico and overthrew the Aztecs in the 1520s, they brought their European influence to the indigenous people. The upper-class debutante aspects of quinceañera emerged as a result.
Today, there were certain privileges associated with the quinceañera. Being that it is a celebration of her transition into womanhood, the quinceañera might be allowed to attend adult parties, pluck her eyebrows and shave her legs, wear makeup, jewelry and high heels and maybe even start dating. Whoah! We will have to wait and see about this “dating” business. I mean, she’s still my baby.
Quinceañera Traditions
From surrendering the last doll (ultima muñeca) during the Catholic mass to the shoe ceremony before the final father-daughter dance afterward, the quinceañera is full of symbolic gestures and gifts. Unlike the ordinary birthday parties that the quince girl might’ve enjoyed for the first 14 years of her life, her quinceañera party officially marks her coming of age and therefore, requires appropriate gifts and apparel to carry her through that transition.
The quinceañera itself is the present for the birthday girl from her parents. Sometimes, parents may give their daughter a regálo sorpresa, or surprise gift. However, the emphasis of traditional quinceañera presents, including the prayer book, rosary and Bible needed for Mass, is on what the quince girl will wear and carry to her ceremony. These gifts may be given by a combination of grandparents (known as padrinos), other relatives and friends, and each of them carries a special meaning:
Traditional Quinceañera Gifts
Quinceañera dresses represent femininity.
Quinceañera rings represent a girl’s bond to God, family and her community.
Quinceañera crowns and tiaras represent her superior morality.
Quinceañera cross necklaces emphasize a girl’s devotion to the Catholic Church.
Considering everything that goes into planning for your quinceañera, it’s understandable that they only happen once in a Latina girl’s lifetime. Though the rite of passage may vary slightly from country to country, the heart of the quinceañera remains constant. Whether it’s lavish or low-key, these extraordinary parties allow young girls to become fairytale princesses for one day on their way to becoming grown women and embracing all the responsibilities and duties that come with it.
We’ve just begun planning my daughter’s quinceañera but we’ll be sharing it all here and hope that you’ll join us on this exciting journey and celebration from little girl to young lady. We’ll be sharing everything we learn along the way and all things quinceañera.
On Thursday, it was made pretty clear President Trump doesn’t want poor immigrants from “shithole” countries. His words, not mine. During a meeting in the Oval Office, while discussing with lawmakers the protection of immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan immigration deal, President Donald Trump made some disparaging remarks.
“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?”Trump said.
My question is what actually constitutes “shithole” countries to Donald Trump? How does one qualify as a “shithole”. What is a shithole? Is it the hole in an outhouse? How do you equate humans and countries to a hole in the ground in which people defecate? And just like that Trump doesn’t want poor immigrants from “shithole” countries.
President Trump then suggested immigrants from Norway would be preferable. He also said that he would be “open” to more immigrants from Asian countries because he feels that they could contribute and benefit the United States economically. That felt really old man racist to me but to be fair, he said it was about money.
In addition, president Trump singled out Haiti, telling lawmakers that immigrants from that country must be left out of any deal.
“Why do we need more Haitians?” Trump said, according to people in attendance of the meeting. “Take them out.”
In November, the Trump administration rescinded deportation protection granted to nearly 60,000 Haitians after the 2010 earthquake and told them to return home by July 2019.
Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
…but only if they’re from Norway and maybe Asia. We’d prefer you keep your “shithole” people from those “shithole” countries like El Salvador, Haiti and Africa to yourself.
I’d love to say that I’m surprised by these racist remarks President Trump has made but I’d be a liar if I said I was. He’s never pretended to be anything else. He built his campaign on the promise to “Make America Great Again” by building a wall and kicking people out. He’s been openly -ists against many groups of people. The man is not a people person. He is a businessman.
But let’s take a look at this whole “shithole” controversy. Does he mean countries with people of color, third world countries or anyone who is not what he considers good enough; wrong color, race, religion, sex, socio-economic status? He talks about people, human beings, like products; commodities.
In all honesty, I thought it was about race but the more he speaks, I think it may be something bigger. I think he doesn’t like anyone who is not part of elevating him and his agenda. Poor people reflect badly on our country. Why would we want to take in more homeless people who will only contribute to the already astronomical national debt? I think the bottom line is he is all about wealth and excess. I believe if he had his ideal America, it would be a country of beautiful, millionaires who believed the way he does. The working man is the back by which this great country has been built upon but to men like Trump, unfortunately, they are disposable.
There is no room for diversity in Trump’s America and that is what it is, or at least what he is trying to mold it into, “Trump’s America.”
Don’t be surprised that he is being exactly who he promised to be. Some of you voted him into office. Maybe this is your idea of a perfect America. It’s not mine. Maybe you are as disappointed and heartbroken as the rest of us.
In my America, the president is someone to look up to and emulate. He is held to a higher moral standard than the rest of us. He inspires us to be and do better. He is an orator who can move crowds to action of change. He gives us something to believe in. He puts us at ease when we are afraid of outside threats by promising to protect us and taking all the necessary step to ensure our safety. He puts the collective us above himself.
He is a human who respects humanity and strives for equality. He is educated and worldly. His job is to make America the greatest country in the world by making us economically strong, politically succinct, diplomatically beloved and our military respected and revered. He is firm but caring.
His character should be as close to beyond reproach as possible. No president is perfect but like a parent puts their child before themselves in an effort to care for them, this is the same duty of the president for his constituents. It’s not just a job, it’s a calling. He is the surrogate father of a nation. There is no room for selfishness.
I get that president Trump is human and he has made mistakes. Mistakes the whole world is watching. Stumbling is expected but most of his worst moments are of his own doing. He doesn’t’ care what the world thinks about what he does. He holds himself above the rest of us. That is one of his biggest failures.
Belittling others and rejecting humans begging for help because he deems them to be from “shithole” countries speaks volumes about his character. He has no honor and no compassion for the refugees of the world seeking asylum and protection. Somehow, he seems to not care. I don’t know how someone can even make themselves not care when presented with a hungry, sad human being with no safe place to live. Money has more value to him than human life unless it is his own. This is just my humble opinion as I watch this situation unravel.
I don’t know if he is a bad person or if the power of his position has made him feel untouchable and therefore made him lose touch with reality. What I do know is that many of these actions he has taken, the damage is irreparable. America’s promised ascension towards greatness is being actively thwarted by an ego that has outgrown the man. It is up to every one of us to make better choices and work towards making America great again for all Americans.
Isn’t it our moral obligation as human beings to help those less fortunate than ourselves?
I don’t know about you but travel is a form of religion to me. Nope, I don’t think travel is my God but in a profound way, I feel closer to something bigger than myself when I’m experiencing the beauty and the wonder of the world, especially if there’s music playing loudly in the background. For example, when I am flying or on a boat in the ocean, I feel freer and smaller than I’ve ever felt before yet, at the same time I feel grounded and significant in my small part. Sometimes when you’re on the open road headed toward a destination, driving can feel almost like a holy experience. I know, it might sound weird to some of you but to others you completely understand.
There is just something about taking all of that beauty in and really comprehending the enormity that this planet is where we get to live, in all of its natural glory. I’ve always loved travel but it’s only been the last few years where I’ve really begun to appreciate the beauty of the different landscapes, people and cultures. I want to show my children the entire world and everything in it
Last month, I was loaned the new Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited in toasted walnut pearl. I mean, is there a more perfect color name for a car that you are driving around amongst the changing leaves? The 2017 new front fascia with an updated front grille and redesigned headlights make a bold first impression.
I don’t know everything there is to know about the Toyota brand, as I have never owned one myself but I know what I like. I have friends and family members who will only buy Toyota because they hold up so well and last for so long. To me, that says something about the brand. The Highlander certainly exceeded any expectations I had.
I was pleasantly surprised by what it added to our travel experience. Not only is it a beautifully sophisticated piece of machinery, it is eco-friendly, which is something else that I tend to look for more as my fondness for the planet grows deeper.
Traveling with my family is my favorite thing to do and we do a lot of that traveling on four wheels. We like the freedom to stop and explore along the way. So the little things matter, especially when you are in a car for 18-24 hours.
Here are some of my features of the Toyota Highlander Hybrid:
Color-keyed heated power outside mirrors with turn signal lights and blind spot warning indicators and folding features. Safety, convenience and indulgence all rolled into one.
Panoramic moonroof with power sunshade and jam protection. This moonroof adds a level of sophistication and adventure.
Three-zone automatic climate control with air filter, separate second-row control panel, individual temperature settings for driver, front passenger and rear-seat passengers, and second- and third-row vents. This is perfect, especially for long road trips with children, tweens and/or teens. Everyone controls their own temperature, a little less complaining and distraction for the driver.
Integrated backup camera with dynamic gridlines. At this point, I am annoyed with any vehicle that doesn’t have backup cameras but the dynamic gridlines feature is perfect for new drivers learning to parallel park and just be safe in general.
SofTex®-trimmed 60/40 split, fold-flat third-row seat with sliding headrests and recline function. I know this sounds like an unnecessary luxury but believe me when you have tall passengers, stuck in a vehicle for long amounts of time the recline functions is definitely one that you will appreciate.
Blue LED ambient lighting on the interior of the front and rear doors and in-dash shelf. This sounds so unnecessary but I’m telling you, it’s one of those things you never knew that you always wanted. That little bit of ambient lighting makes all the difference when getting into your car at night.
Five total USB ports (three front and two second-row). Talk about convenience and luxury. There are 4 of us, we each have an iPhone and iPad and they need to be charged. No more fighting/bickering over whose turn it is to use the charger.
Second-row retractable window sunshades. If you have babies, this is a lifesaver on long trips. If you have children of any age sitting in the back seat trying to stay entertained with electronics or just not spend the drive with the migraine-inducing sun in their eyes, you too will love these window shades.
I love the safety features. I will have teen drivers in not too many years.
Toyota Safety Sense™ P (TSS-P) — Pre-Collision System with Pedestrian Detection (PCS w/PD), Lane Departure Alert with Steering Assist (LDA w/SA), Automatic High Beams (AHB) and Dynamic Radar Cruise Control (DRCC). My girls will be driving before I’d like to think about and I will feel a lot less anxious if I know they are driving in a vehicle that does its part help keep them safe.
More safety features we can all get behind. Star Safety System™ — includes Electronically Controlled Braking (ECB), Vehicle Dynamics Integrated Management (VDIM), Enhanced Vehicle Stability Control (VSC), Traction Control (TRAC), Anti-lock Brake System (ABS), Electronic Brake-force Distribution (EBD), Brake Assist (BA) and Smart Stop Technology® (SST).
Blind Spot Monitor (BSM) and Rear Cross-Traffic Alert (RCTA) like backup cameras, how did we ever live without these features?
**No husbands were harmed in the taking of this photo. He just has a morbid sense of humor and was in desperate need of a nap.
The storage space is huge. I was able to put my 6’5″ husband in the back. Not that you’d move a body in the Highlander but, the point is, you could if you needed to 😉
And, did I mention the mileage on the Highlander Hybrid? If I didn’t I definitely should have. I had the vehicle for 10 days and never had to fill it up. The mileage is out of this world compared to my Enclave.
I could go on for pages but these are just a few of my favorite features of the Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited. All of these features help me to focus on what is important about family vacations, family and not let the small stuff like comfort, charging stations and gas mileage ruin the whole thing.
Travel really is an experience that transcends time and space, your mind needs to be free to wander without distraction and completely immerse in the people and places you visit. Traveling with my family, showing them the people and places of this planet, is having the very best of both worlds. The Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited makes the journey as fantastic as the destination.
What was your favorite family trip destination? How did you get there?
Disclosure: I was provided the Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited to drive for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
I could go on for pages but these are just a few of my favorite features of the Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited. All of these features help me to focus on what is important about family vacations, family and not let the small stuff like comfort, charging stations and gas mileage ruin the whole thing.