The first thing I read this morning was a piece by my good friend, Jessica Gottlieb, Which came first the Anxiety Disorder or the Blog? Her post really resonated with me in a lot of ways but the most important takeaway that I had was the realization that I need to live more and blog less. This is nothing new. I have known this for some time now. Hell, I know that I need to back the fuck away from the computer and get out of my head and into my life. I need to unplug and it has never been as evident as it is this summer. (more…)
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Dealing with Blogger Mommy Guilt?
Anything more than One Child is like Ten Children
Every mother who has ever lived has looked at another mother and thought to herself, she’s got it all. Look how well she does mothering. She’s got her ish together. I remember looking longingly at my friend Sarah as she would get down on her knees and speak softly to her daughter when she’d done something wrong. For me, anything more than one child is like ten children but for Sarah 2 children were like 2 children and I never understood what I was doing wrong.
Now, before you get your panties in a wad, I KNOW that only children are no piece of cake. I know that you still face all the challenges as mothers with multiple children face. I understand that you are still overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated, like the rest of us. I’ve never once seen any of my friends with only children have time to sit around and eat bonbons. That’s not what I’m implying. I get all of that. I know its true.
When I only had one child, I was fatigued, stressed and had an extreme case of Mommy brain. I had all the same issues that I have now, but I could at least try to focus all of my attention on my one child and sometimes she even took naps so I got stolen moments to myself. I knew that my child was getting my undivided attention. As much as I thought my heart could not grow to accommodate another child, to my amazement it did.
I was so blinded my that new baby smell that I never let myself entertain the thought that anything more than one child is like ten children. I did, however, know that I could not simultaneously maintain my sanity and raise ten children. I come from big families, I’ve seen the collateral damage to the mothers in our family.
But I got cocky and thought to myself, “Hey, if I can handle one child, how hard can two be?” A common rookie mistake of tempting the fates. That is what I thought..until I was slapped in the face with the reality that I had to juggle a newborn and a toddler, multiply my diaper duty drastically, potty train while simultaneously trying to breastfeed, one’s learning to assert her independence and the other one is completely dependent on me, which means chasing one while dragging the other along. I had to try and coordinate nap times, feeding schedules, Little Gym, ballet, Kindermusik, and schedule bath and bedtimes around the same time.
Not going to lie, I spent a lot of my time running on Dunkin…coffee that is and pure, unconditional love. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m really not sure how we made it through those early years but by the grace of God and a whole lot of letting things slide. There is no room for perfection in motherhood. You prioritize healthy babies and marital happiness over cleanliness. Let that sh*t go. Let it go.
To exacerbate the situation, absolutely everything I had to do for the newborn, I had to match or top for the toddler. She was having some regression issues. I had to push a double stroller, carry a car seat while holding, what can only be called, a child leash on my toddler. I had all my balls up in the air and was just waiting for them to come crashing down on top of my head. The fun is still happening. The difference, you see, between 1 and 2+ children is this; with 1 child you have all these duties and standards and you can focus all of your time and energy on that. You will not have a life of your own but your child’s needs will, for the most part, be met.
When you add another child to the mix, you have to divide your time and your attention. Your love will double but the rest will have to be divided. This is compounded by an extreme case of Mommy guilt because you always feel like one of your balls is dropping and you don’t want your child to pay the price. I mean seriously, who wants to be fodder for future therapy sessions?
When I say anything more than one child is like ten children, what I mean is it’s the hardest job that you’ll ever love.
With each child, we loosen our grip on some of our balls and some of our sanity. Unfortunately, the more balls that are in the air, the easier they are to drop.
How to Create a Day of the Dead Altar Step-by-Step:
Hey there, fellow memory-keepers and tradition-embracers! Today, we’re diving into something that’s close to my heart: creating a Day of the Dead altar, or as it’s known in Spanish, a Día de los Muertos ofrenda.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Isn’t that a bit… morbid?” But trust me, it’s anything but! This beautiful tradition is all about celebrating the lives of those we’ve lost, keeping their memories alive, and maybe even sharing a laugh or two with them from beyond the veil. So, grab a cup of coffee (or a shot of tequila – I won’t judge), and let’s get started on creating an altar that’ll make your ancestors proud!
Why Create a Day of the Dead Altar?
Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, let’s talk about why we’re doing this in the first place. Day of the Dead isn’t about mourning – it’s about celebration! Why else do you think we dress as sugar skulls and Calaveras. You saw my Dia de Los Muertos make-up tutorial, this is serious business. Family is as sacred as it gets in the Mexican culture. It’s a time to remember our loved ones, share stories about them, and keep their spirits alive in our hearts and homes. Plus, it’s a fantastic excuse to eat pan de muerto and drink some good tequila. Win-win, right?
Choosing Who Goes on Your Altar
Now, here’s where it gets personal. Who do you put on your altar? Well, that’s entirely up to you, my friend. In my family, we keep it to immediate family members – parents, grandparents, siblings, and (heaven forbid) children. But hey, if you want to include your great-aunt Mildred who always snuck you candy when your mom wasn’t looking, go for it! There are no hard and fast rules here.
The key is to choose people who were significant in your life. Those who shaped you, loved you, or maybe even drove you a little crazy (in the best way possible). Remember, this is about honoring their memory and the impact they had on your life. So, whether it’s family, friends, or even beloved pets, if they left a pawprint on your heart, they deserve a spot on that altar!
Now, Let’s Get Down to Business: Creating Your Altar Step-by-Step
Step 1: Location, Location, Location!
First things first, we need to choose where to set up our altar. In my house, we use the fireplace hearth. It’s perfect – centrally located, plenty of space, and it gives me an excuse not to clean the chimney for another month.
Pro tip: If you’re using your fireplace like we do, make sure you don’t plan on lighting any fires before November 3rd. Unless, of course, you want to give your ancestors a warm welcome… and possibly burn down your house in the process. Safety first, people!
Step 2: Deck the Halls… I Mean, Altar
Now that we’ve got our spot, it’s time to decorate! This is where you can let your creativity shine. I personally love to use:
- Colorful table runners (the brighter, the better!)
- Papel picado (those beautiful paper banners)
- Flameless candles (because, again, we don’t want to burn the house down)
- LED lights (to give it that otherworldly glow)
Feel free to add your own flair! Maybe your abuela loved sunflowers, or your dad was obsessed with the Cowboys. Incorporate those personal touches – that’s what makes your altar unique. I usually add the personal touches on Dia de los Muertos. For an example, there is always pan con leche for my Abuelito Manuel and a Big Mac for my Tio Narcizo.
Step 3: Make a List, Check It Twice
It’s time to channel your inner Santa ( I know I’m mix metaphoring with my holiday vernacular) and make a list. But instead of naughty or nice, we’re listing our beloved departed. Now, I come from a family big enough to populate a small country, so I had to set some boundaries. I stick to the immediate family – from my children (I include my beloved third child, Declan, who I never got to hold but hopefully that section stays empty for a long, long time on yours) up to my grandparents.
For extended family and friends, I have a special “Book of the Dead.” No, it’s not as ominous as it sounds! It’s just a beautiful journal where I write the names of all those other special people we want to remember. This book gets a place of honor on the altar too.
Step 4: Picture This
Next up, it’s time to print some photos. This is where you get to take a trip down memory lane. Grab your Kleenex, this is the part that hits me right in my feels. Choose photos that capture the essence of your loved ones – maybe that picture of Grandpa mid-laugh at a family BBQ, or the one of your college roommate making that ridiculous face she always did.
Now, frames. You’ve got three options here:
- Buy in bulk from places like Amazon. Pro: Matching frames. Con: Might break the bank.
- Hit up your local Dollar Tree. Pro: Cheap as chips. Con: Might look like you bought them at Dollar Tree.
- If you are independently wealthy and money is not an obstacle, you can hit up fancier shops and buy individual frames to match the vibe of those you are honoring on your altar.
Choose your favorites. Personally, I mix and match. It adds character… at least that’s what I tell myself.
Step 5: Arrange and Rearrange
Time to play interior decorator! Arrange those frames on your altar. There’s no right or wrong way to do this, but I like to mix and match my family and my husband’s side. Usually, people put the oldest generation at the top and work their way down. It’s like a family tree, but more… vertical. I, personally, the baby I lost at the top because for me, that is the biggest loss I’ve suffered so far in this life.
As you’re setting up, feel free to add more decorations. Maybe some battery-operated string lights to give it that magical glow, or some marigolds (the official flower of Day of the Dead) to brighten things up. I also add Monarch mariposas ( butterflies). Why?
Butterflies hold a special significance in Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) altars and traditions. Here’s an explanation of their importance:
- Symbol of souls: In Mexican folklore and Aztec beliefs, butterflies are often seen as representations of the souls of the departed. They’re believed to embody the spirits of loved ones who have passed away.
- Return of spirits: Monarchs in particular are associated with Dia de los Muertos because their annual migration to Mexico coincides with the holiday. This timing has led to the belief that the butterflies carry the souls of the deceased back to the world of the living for this brief reunion.
- Transformation and rebirth: Butterflies symbolize transformation due to their life cycle. This connects to the idea of life, death, and rebirth that is central to Dia de los Muertos.
- Aztec mythology: In Aztec mythology, the goddess Itzpapalotl was depicted as an obsidian butterfly. This further cements the connection between butterflies and the spiritual realm in Mexican culture.
- Decoration: Paper or fabric butterflies are often used to decorate ofrendas (altars) as a way to welcome and represent the spirits of the deceased.
- Natural beauty: Butterflies add a touch of natural beauty and color to the altar, complementing the other vibrant decorations typically used.
- Freedom of the soul: The ability of butterflies to fly freely is sometimes interpreted as representing the freedom of the soul after death.
When including butterflies on a Dia de los Muertos altar, they’re often placed near photos of the deceased or scattered among the other offerings. They serve as a beautiful and meaningful addition to the altar, reinforcing the connection between the living and the dead during this special time of remembrance and celebration.
Step 6: Add the Finishing Touches
Now for the fun part – personalizing your altar with ofrendas (offerings) for your loved ones. This is where you really get to show how well you knew them. Did Tio Ramon have a sweet tooth? Mine did. Put out his favorite candies. Did GiGi like margaritas? A small bottle of her favorite tequila might be in order (and no, you can’t drink it yourself… at least not until after November 2nd).
Some ideas for ofrendas:
- Favorite foods and drinks
- Personal items (Dad’s old pipe, Mom’s favorite lipstick)
- Candles
- Sugar skulls (bonus points if you make them yourself!)
- Pan de muerto (because who doesn’t love bread?)
Remember, the more personal, the better. This is about creating a space that would make your loved ones feel at home if they were to pop in for a visit.
The Final Touch: Making It Meaningful
Here’s the thing, creating a Day of the Dead altar isn’t just about following steps or making things look pretty. It’s about creating a space for remembrance, for storytelling, for keeping the spirits of our loved ones alive in our hearts and homes.
As you’re setting up your altar, take time to remember. Tell stories about the people you’re honoring. Laugh about their quirks, cry about how much you miss them, maybe even argue with them a little (hey, old habits die hard). This process isn’t just about honoring the dead – it’s about healing the living.
So, there you have it – your step-by-step guide to creating a Day of the Dead altar that would make your ancestors proud (and maybe a little jealous they didn’t think of it first). Now, I want to see what you create!
Share photos of your altars on social media with the hashtag #MyDayOfTheDeadAltar. Let’s create a virtual community of remembrance, sharing stories and honoring our loved ones together. And hey, if you’re feeling really brave, share a story about one of the people on your altar. Let’s keep their memories alive, one post at a time.
Remember, creating a Day of the Dead altar isn’t about perfection – it’s about love, memory, and maybe a little bit of tequila. So don’t stress if it’s not magazine-worthy. As long as it comes from the heart, you’re doing it right.
Now go forth and create, my fellow memory-keepers. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel a little closer to those you’ve lost in the process. After all, isn’t that what Día de los Muertos is all about?
Until next time, keep those memories alive and those candles (flameless, of course) burning!
You Mean Well, But Stop Saying These Toxic Things to Cancer Patients
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes
Today’s Throat Punch is a bit of an emotional express train, but it’s an important one. Because while I fancy myself a bit of a comedic truth-teller most days, some situations require putting the funny-lady shtick aside momentarily. This is that moment. Apparently, we all need a tutorial ( a “What Not to Say to Cancer Patients ” for Dummies” if you will) so people can stop saying stupid AF and insensitive things to cancer warriors; to people we know and love. If you don’t stop hurting the feelings of people already dealing with the hardest moment in their life, I may have to put on my ass-kicking superhero outfit and throat punch you for them. You’ve been warned.
What is Glioblastoma?
We’re talking about cancer in general but glioblastoma, in particular, today -according to Cleveland Clinic, glioblastoma multiforme (GBM) is the most common type of malignant (cancerous) brain tumor in adults. Cancer cells in GBM tumors rapidly multiply. The cancer can spread into other areas of the brain as well. Rarely, the cancer spreads outside the brain to other parts of the body.
Glioma tumors like GBM start in glial cells. Glial cells are vital to nerve cell function. GBMs specifically form in glial cells called astrocytes. GBMs are the fastest-growing astrocytoma (tumor that forms in astrocytes). It’s the kind of diagnosis that punches you in the gut and sinks your heart straight through the floor, no matter who you are.
I’ve had more friends than I care to recount bravely fight the cancer monster over the years. I’ve seen it turn vibrant humans into mere shells, ripping away independence, cognitive abilities, and bland normalcies we so casually take for granted each day. Right now, someone I love is facing the kind of diagnosis that knocks you to your knees. She’s one of the bravest and most brilliant women I know and the last thing she needs is to the suffer fools saying stupid ass shit to her online or in person. Thats why I’m writing this because you all need to use your common sense and ask yourself BEFORE you open your mouth, “How would I feel in her situation if someone said what I’m about top ask her?” and then shut your mouth.
It’s a different kind of nightmare when the thing you’re battling resides in the very home base operating your entire physical existence – your brain. Glioblastoma is quite literally your own body turning against you in one of the cruelest, most insidious ways imaginable.
So if you’ve never been impacted by a loved one facing this reality, trust me – just be quiet and send up some gratitude. Because it’s a hell that vastly exceeds any offense my usual Throaty subjects could ever dish out.
But since we’re being radically candid today, I do have ONE thing I’d like to firmly THROAT PUNCH into submission:
What NOT to Say to Someone Battling Cancer
We’ve all been there – someone we care about gets dealt a world-shattering health prognosis. Glioblastoma, or otherwise. And despite our utterly pure intentions, we WILL say inadvertently awful, cringeworthy things in the aftermath as we grapple with how to act.
Comments that make us smack our foreheads in private, realizing we just barged straight into a fully-body-fazed moment of profound uncomfortable silence.
I’ve been that foot-in-mouth airbag inflater more times than I can count. I’ve also been the recipient of stupid and insensitive comments when I was at one of the hardest moments of my life. We want so badly to provide comfort, to say the “right” thing that’ll take away the suffocating weight, but we often shove our foot directly into the wound instead.
So consider this your official game plan for what to SHUT UP about when supporting someone going through hell:
No Comments About Causation, Vice or Fault
“Did you smoke/drink/eat too many processed foods when you were younger?”
No, Karen, they didn’t “do” anything to “cause” this. Cancer is an indiscriminate monster, period. Unless your genuine medical advice was solicited, stop trying to diagnose a way to rationalize the unthinkable.
No Platitudes or Toxically Positive BS
“Don’t worry, you’ll get through this! Everything’s gonna be just fine!”
Oh wow, super cool! I didn’t realize this was armageddon allergies and not, you know, a terrifying brain cancer! While positivity has its place, false reassurances often just gaslight away the person’s very visceral fears and struggles. Let them feel how they need to feel.
No Narcissistic± Sidetracking
“I once had this cousin who had a scare, and let me tell you…”
For the love of God, STOP. This isn’t your moment to make an irrelevant grand pivot and arrogantly make things about yourself for 28 minutes. Exercise restraint and make this about THEM.
No Unsolicited Treatment Instructions
“From what I’ve researched online, you shouldn’t be doing chemo – only natural remedies and a dairy-free juice cleanse!”
Unless “Dr. Facebook School of Health” is an accredited medical dynasty I missed, keep your unqualified treatment recs to yourself. Ask how YOU can best support whatever THEIR medical team suggests.
No Weird Existential Probing
“So…do you believe in the afterlife then?”
I CANNOT stress this enough: the name on the Grim Reaper’s ominous guest list is not yours to shortcut RSVP for! Blatantly morbid Qs only amplify fear and discomfort, so shut your literal forever piehole.
…And Above All Else: NO MAKING IT THEIRS
- “Your/The Cancer…”
This fire-breathing monster FORCED its way into their life uninvited. It was not some assumed decision or claimed identity. It’s simply an unfair, horrific circumstance beyond their control that they’re being outrageously strong in fighting.
So make damn sure you don’t go accidentally making this THEIR personal “thing” to have with possessive language. It’s NOT THEIRS – it’s the disgusting affliction they have the profound audacity to keep rallying against each day. So afford them that vital distinction.
At the end of the day, someone facing a cancer nightmare doesn’t need your wacky armchair expertise or stifling social niceties. They need two very simple human superpowers from you:
A stubbornly present supportive ear to listen…
And a soul strong enough to look the dragon’s flame straight in the eye alongside them without flinching.
Just show up and BE THERE, through all the scary valleys and occasional picturesque peaks this horrendous road is sure to bring. Let them lead the conversation where they need it to go.
Do NOT co-opt their grief. This.Is.NOT.about.You.
I don’t care how terrible you feel, I know it sucks. but you need to be cool bitch. Hold it together. Only speak affirmations of your unwavering faith in their ability to keep fighting, and that you’ll be their kick in the pants when they need it most:
“I don’t know what’s coming, but I know YOU – and you’re stronger than whatever bull$#%* this thing will throw your way. I’m locked in, strapped in, and not letting go for a second until we’ve kicked cancer’s ass together, side-by-side. Whatever you need from me – whenever you need it – you’ve got it.”
Because at the end of the day, that’s all any of us really needs when facing the abyss:
The validation that we don’t have to be stronger than we’re capable of.
Just strong enough to never have to be stronger ALONE.
So let’s all take a big collective breath and do BETTER at being present for those being swallowed whole by this nightmare.
Say THE right things – or just shut up and SHOW UP with the strongest heart you’ve got. That’s more than enough to start.
Sending all my love and strength to every last warrior still waging this heaviest of battles today, especially my girl, Jill. You are the bravest souls, and you’ve got infinite love, light and support behind you for the hearty fight ahead.
If you know someone going through a cancer struggle, I implore you – check in on them. Ask how you can tangibly lighten any load, no matter how small. Offer to lend an ear without caveats. Stay involved in their journey without forcibly inserting yourself as a hype-person. Send them a meal for the family. Pick up the slack. Drive the kids to school. Do the laundry. Load the dishwasher. It might seem mundane but when you’re going through a life changing struggle, the little things matter.
And most importantly, if they’re a parent facing this terror…ask what you can do to support their child or children too. The psychic/emotional/physical tolls of this beast impact entire families. Do what you can to ease that unbearable burden in any way they need.
We’re all in this life thing together – let’s start showing up that way for those doing the hardest pushing and shoving against darkness to keep seeing brighter days ahead.
While you are here, if you want to do some good you can start here:
I don’t ask for much ever but Jill Smokler is one of my dearest friends and favorite people in the world. She is facing one of the most challenging moments in her life.
To know her is to love her and I f@cking love her… so much. She has made it her mission to help moms and women all over the world; from making them laugh and cry their way through motherhood, to putting Thanksgiving meals on tables for families who otherwise would have none, to helping us Gen Xers and Millennials laugh our way through our perimenopausal rage. She’s always been there for us and it’s time we’re there for her.If you’ve ever enjoyed her stories on Scary Mommy, listened to the She’s Got Issues podcast, sat around a table or a pool under the warm Florida night or had the privilege and honor of knowing her, loving her and being her friend, please donate!It is our turn to show up for Jill by relieving her of some of the massive financial burden that this fatal disease is causing so she can focus on fighting and being present for her three kids without the added stress of paying for medical expenses, experimental treatments and everything they entail, rehab, and the list goes on.Let’s show Jill that this massive community she has touched is still here and in this fight with her!Please donate here ( if you can) and please share this fundraiser far and wide!
Why Your Family Should Stay at the Hyatt Regency Boston:
Planning a family trip to Boston? Let me make it easy for you: book your stay at the Hyatt Regency Boston. This hotel is not just a place to sleep—it’s the launchpad for your family’s best vacation ever. From its unbeatable location to its family-friendly amenities, you’ll wonder why you ever considered staying anywhere else. And let’s not forget Avenue One Restaurant—convenient and delicious, it’s a game-changer for dining with kids and teens. And you know how serious we are about enjoying Boston with our teenage daughters. So, buckle up, because I’m about to tell you why the Hyatt Regency Boston is where your family needs to be.
Location, Location, Location!
Boston is a city rich in history, culture, and adventure, and the Hyatt Regency Boston puts you right in the heart of it all. Located in the vibrant downtown area, the hotel is within walking distance of some of the city’s top attractions. Think Boston Common, Faneuil Hall, and the Freedom Trail. Whether you want to explore the New England Aquarium, catch a game at Fenway Park, or shop on Newbury Street, you’re just steps away from the action.
When you stay at the Hyatt Regency Boston, you’re perfectly positioned to soak up all the sights and sounds of the city without the hassle of long commutes. No more whining from the backseat about when you’ll get there because guess what? You’re already there! Imagine stepping out of your hotel and being greeted by the vibrant buzz of Boston life, ready to dive into your adventure.
Spacious Rooms for Families
Traveling with kids and teens means you need space—lots of it. The Hyatt Regency Boston offers rooms and suites that are not only comfortable but spacious enough to accommodate your whole crew. Picture this: after a long day of sightseeing, the kids can crash on their own beds while you relax with a glass of wine, planning the next day’s adventures. Plus, with amenities like free Wi-Fi, flat-screen TVs, and a mini-fridge, you’ve got everything you need to keep the whole family entertained and happy.
The rooms are designed with families in mind. Need a crib or a rollaway bed? Just ask. The hotel staff is more than accommodating, ensuring everyone in your family gets a good night’s sleep. And if you’re lucky enough to snag a suite, you’ll have even more room to spread out, with separate living areas perfect for those early morning cartoons or late-night movie marathons.
Family-Friendly Amenities
The Hyatt Regency Boston knows how to cater to families. They offer cribs and rollaway beds on request, making it easy to accommodate even the smallest travelers. The indoor heated pool is a hit with kids of all ages—perfect for unwinding after a day of exploring. And for parents, the 24-hour fitness center means you can sneak in a workout while the kids are still sleeping. They even offer babysitting services if you need a night out (hello, date night!).
Imagine the joy on your kids’ faces when they dive into the pool after a day of walking around the city. It’s these little extras that make a huge difference. The hotel also provides board games and activities for rainy days, ensuring that your kids are never bored, no matter the weather.
Avenue One Restaurant: Convenient and Delicious
Now, let’s talk food. Traveling with kids and teens can make meal times a bit of a challenge, but not at the Avenue One Restaurant. Conveniently located right in the hotel, it’s your go-to spot for a delicious and hassle-free dining experience.
Breakfast Bonanza
Start your day with a hearty breakfast at Avenue One. From fluffy pancakes to savory omelets, there’s something for everyone. And if your kids are anything like mine, the buffet will be a huge hit. It’s the perfect way to fuel up before a day of exploring Boston.
The breakfast buffet is a feast for the senses. Fresh fruit, pastries, yogurt, and a variety of cereals are all available. The coffee at Avenue One Restaurant is strong enough to wake even the sleepiest of parents, and the fresh juices are a hit with the kids and adults alike. Breakfast here isn’t just a meal; it’s an experience that sets the tone for the day ahead.
Lunch and Dinner Delights
Whether you’re in the mood for a light lunch or a full dinner, Avenue One has you covered. Their menu is packed with options that will satisfy even the pickiest eaters. Think juicy burgers, fresh salads, and mouth-watering seafood dishes. And let’s not forget the clam chowder—it’s a New England must-try. Plus, the starters menu is full of favorites like calamari, spinach and Artichoke dip and New England Crab cake, ensuring everyone leaves happy and full.
Avenue One takes the stress out of meal times. No more scouring Yelp for a family-friendly restaurant that won’t break the bank. You can enjoy a leisurely meal knowing that everyone will find something they love. And the service? Top-notch. The staff is attentive and great with kids, making dining a pleasant experience for the whole family.
Desserts to Die For
Don’t skip dessert! Avenue One’s dessert menu is nothing short of spectacular. From decadent Tiramisu to classic Boston cream pie, you’ll find the perfect sweet treat to end your meal. And if you’re celebrating a special occasion, let them know—they love to make your family’s dining experience extra memorable.
The desserts are the cherry on top of an already fantastic dining experience. Whether you’re indulging in a rich cheesecake or savoring a scoop of ice cream, you’ll leave the table with a smile on your face. And the best part? You don’t have to go far to get back to your room and relax.
Exploring Boston Made Easy
One of the best things about staying at the Hyatt Regency Boston is how easy it makes exploring the city. The hotel offers easy access to transportation to popular attractions, so you can leave the car behind and enjoy the sights stress-free. Plus, with the MBTA (Boston’s public transit system) nearby, getting around the city is a breeze. No need to worry about navigating traffic or finding parking—just hop on the T and go!
The convenience of having the city at your doorstep can’t be overstated. Whether you’re taking a scenic walk through the Boston Public Garden or visiting the interactive exhibits at the Museum of Science or shopping and eating your way through Newbury Street, everything is within reach. The hotel concierge and front desk attendants can provide direction and guidance to help you plan your itinerary, ensuring you don’t miss out on any must-see attractions.
A Home Away from Home
What truly sets the Hyatt Regency Boston apart is the feeling of home it provides. The staff is incredibly welcoming and always ready to help with recommendations or special requests. From the moment you check in, you’ll feel like part of the family. And isn’t that what every family vacation needs? A place where you can relax, unwind, and truly enjoy your time together.
The hotel’s commitment to making you feel at home is evident in every detail. From the warm greetings at the front desk to the little touches in your room, like extra pillows and cozy blankets, you’ll feel pampered and cared for. It’s this level of service that turns a good vacation into a great one.
Book Your Family’s Stay Today!
Ready to make unforgettable memories in Boston? Book your stay at the Hyatt Regency Boston now and discover why it’s the perfect home base for your family’s adventure. And don’t forget to dine at Avenue One Restaurant—convenient, delicious, and a dining experience your family will love. Share this post with fellow travelers and start planning your trip today!
For more tips on family travel, check out our travel content at The TRUTH about Motherhood, and let’s make your next family vacation the best one yet!
4o
How Moms Can Celebrate World Sleep Day!
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Hey there, fellow sleep-deprived mom friend!
So, it’s that time of year again – World Sleep Day. Did you even know that was a thing? Me, neither. Then again, I’ve been a mom for 19 years, so you know, no rest for the wicked and all that. What is World Sleep Day, you ask? It’s a day dedicated to celebrating the elusive phenomenon known as sleep. But let’s be real, as moms, sleep might feel more like a distant memory than something worth celebrating. Between late-night feedings, toddler tantrums, and endless rounds of “just one more story,” and let’s not forget about waiting for teens to get home and then spending hours chatting about what’s going on with them… getting a decent night’s sleep can seem like a far-fetched dream.
Disclosure: Some of the products included in this post were gifted for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
But fear not, my exhausted, desperately in need of a nap comadre! I’ve got some tips, tricks, and tired laughs to help you make the most of World Sleep Day. So grab your comfiest pajamas and a giant mug of coffee (wine or nightly edible, no judgment here), and let’s dive in!
1. Embrace the Nap Life
Whoever said naps are just for babies clearly never met a sleep-deprived mom. Let’s be real, naps are our love language. So, on World Sleep Day, give yourself permission to indulge in a midday siesta. Whether it’s a power nap in your fully-flat reclinable XL6 FlexiSpot Powerlift Recliner with massage and heat or a full-blown snooze fest in bed, take advantage of any opportunity to catch some z’s. Trust me, the laundry can wait – your sanity cannot. Because if you’re going to spend half your life in bed, you might as well do it in style.
2. Treat Yourself to Some Sleep Accessories
You know what they say: when in doubt, accessorize. And when it comes to sleep, the right accessories can make all the difference. Treat yourself to some cozy new pajamas, invest in a weighted silk sleep stone eye mask (it’s a game changer) or indulge in a luxurious set of PeachSkin Sheets. Because if you’re going to spend half your life in bed, you might as well do it in style. If you want to sleep in comfort ALL.YEAR.LONG. You must get yourself a muslin comfort 365 blanket. It keeps me comfortable no matter what time of the year it is and that is a life changing thing when you are pregnant, perimenopausal, menopausal or a woman in general. It was the one thing I never knew I needed but once I got one, I’m never going back.
Bonus to sleep like a baby: Add a scrumptious and relaxing pillow mist.
3. Create a Sleep Sanctuary
Turn your bedroom into a sleep sanctuary fit for a queen (or, you know, a tired mom). Dim the lights, set the mood with some soothing essential oils like Alevan Botanica: The Sleep Set , and banish any electronic devices from the premises (yes, even your phone). Creating a calming environment can help signal to your brain that it’s time to unwind and drift off into dreamland.
Also, a must have for any sleep sanctuary, is Evercool®+ Cooling Sheet Set and comforter. They’re made with the same game-changing temperature regulating technology and quality, moisture-wicking fabric as the the Rest Kids Evercool™ Cooling Comforter I’d been using to cool off on hot nights. Only these full-sized sheets and comforter allows hopelessly hormonally challenged hot moms ( and dads) to recharge through a comfortable, cool, dry and restful sleep. Just imagine your body temperature being regulated and you being able to sleep through the night? Now, if the kids would just sleep through the night too.
4. Practice the Art of Saying No
As moms, we have a tendency to take on more than we can handle. But here’s the thing – you can’t pour from an empty cup (or in this case, a tired mom). So, on World Sleep Day (and every day thereafter), practice the fine art of saying no. You don’t have to sacrifice your every waking moment and martyr yourself in the name of motherhood. Whether it’s turning down that last-minute playdate or passing on that committee meeting, prioritize your sleep and sanity above all else.
5. Find the Humor in Sleep Deprivation
Let’s face it, sometimes all you can do is laugh. Whether it’s finding yourself wearing your shirt inside out for the third day in a row or accidentally putting the milk in the pantry instead of the fridge (guilty), finding the humor in sleep deprivation can make the endless nights feel a little less daunting. So go ahead, embrace the chaos, and laugh until you cry (or until you fall asleep standing up, whichever comes first).
6. Seek Support
Remember, you’re not alone in this sleep-deprived journey. Reach out to your fellow mom friends for support, commiseration, and maybe even a much-needed venting session. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that someone else is in the same boat to make the sleepless nights feel a little more bearable.
7. Treat Yourself to Some Self-Care
And last but certainly not least, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. Whether it’s treating yourself to a bubble bath, indulging in your favorite guilty pleasure TV show, or simply taking a few moments to breathe deeply and center yourself, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. Because a well-rested mom is a happy mom, and a happy mom is a force to be reckoned with.
Secret bedtime self-care weapon: Therabody SmartGoggles. They not only reduce stress and anxiety, they support restful sleep, soothe headaches, relieve eye strain, lower your heart rate, increase circulation and ease facial tension.
Share Your Sleep Stories and Tips
Phew, we made it through! Now, here’s where you come in. I want to hear from you! Comment below and share your best sleep deprivation story or your top tip for getting some much-needed and deserved mom sleep this World Sleep Day. Let’s laugh, commiserate, and support each other through the sleepless nights. Together, we’ve got this!
Mom Matriculation: The Hardest Part of Motherhood
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Mom matriculation. Have you heard of this? No? Yeah, I just made it up. Its definitely the hardest part of motherhood. It’s the culmination of the letting go that begins with senior year and just when you think its at its hardest, graduation, you unlock a new, unfathomable level of mom heartbreak… college drop off day. Bella is ready to launch but I’m not ready to let go. I don’t know if I ever told you guys the story of how I was supposed to go to Boston University, but, about 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave, 4 little words from my dad stopped me dead in my tracks, “See you next summer.” What??? Immediate failure to launch..
I had never even spent 1 single night away from my parents because in Mexican culture we just don’t do that. Due to our strong multi-generational family ties, family is not only a big part of who we are, it’s everything. My dad’s words had great emotional power over me, in fact, more power than anyone else’s. Not in an intentional manipulative way, its just that his words have always landed like concrete on my heart. His opinion always mattered, and still matters, the most to me. I’ve always held a tiny grudge about this. But that was all before I was the parent having to let go of my own, precious child. Now, I definitely get it, but, I refuse to do that to my girls. Even if it kills me, in the process.
I thought it was all overkill, until I got my first pangs of impending mom matriculation.
Due to this particular incident, and knowing how it completely altered my timeline and changed the trajectory of my life, I swore I’d never say or do anything to hinder my own children’s flight pattern. But again, that was before I knew what I know; that was before I was the parent in the scenario sending my own precious child off into the world, alone, without me.
Fast forward to 10 years ago, when my oldest nephew was heading off to college, a “mere” 65 minutes away from home. Back before I realized that whether it’s 25 minutes or 65 minutes or 12 hours away, living away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because out of your house means out of your house. Your child is no longer bounding through the house, randomly hugging you and asking for a Starby’s run while blasting Swiftie or Megan thee Stallion, while you all sing to your heart’s content.
I vividly remember my nephew going away to college, instantly regretting his decision and my brother and sister-in-law immediately agreeing to pick him up and bring him back home, regardless of forfeiting his athletic scholarship. Absolutely without hesitation, they agreed. In my naivate, I was actually disappointed in their decision ( as if it were any of my business) and really couldn’t understand why they hadn’t encouraged him to stay a little while longer.
None of the baby books warn you about the pain of college drop off. No one warned me that launching my child into adulthood would feel like part of my own body was being ripped away.
When I started Purdue University, a ” mere” 3 hours from home, I remember in those first few weeks sitting alone in my dorm room feeling that it was the winter of my discontent. Wishing someone, anyone, would come to my rescue and demand I return home. But that never happened and, in the end, everything worked out. I learned how to navigate life without my parents, eventually became adult-ish and had a terribly good time doing it. After the situation with my nephew, it reaffirmed my belief that I would “never” do what my brother and his wife did. Big words from a mom of elementary schoolers. That was before I was the mom of a college freshman about to matriculate herself out of my orbit.
If you thought labor and delivery was the hardest part of motherhood, hold on to your Lulus because the mental anguish of letting go makes child birth feel like a cake walk and that’s coming from a woman who did it unmedicated.
Bella decided last spring to defer acceptance to her first choice college and attend a private liberal arts college nearer to home her first year. She realized after several college visits that she prefers the intimate vibe of a smaller campus over a huge bustling one. She decided that she wanted 1 more year at home. I greedily accepted her decision. The school happens to be 25 minutes from my front door. Then, she decided to live at home this year, instead of on campus. Again, I greedily and whole-heartedly accepted her decision. Next year, she has every intention on transferring to her first choice. In fact, it’s already being carefully planned and coordinated with that prestigious university. They are happily awaiting her transfer and, barring any unforeseen circumstances, 356 days from today she’s fully spreading her wings and flying away.
Those of you who have already survived mom matriculation, the hardest part of motherhood thus far, and are letting go when every single cell in your body wants to hold on for dear life… you are so strong.
I know many of you have dropped your babies off at college in the past couple of days and weeks and have driven away sobbing as you bravely left your hearts on campus. I’ve been watching your posts and feeling those pangs of motherly heartbreak right along with you, mostly for you. But now, something strange has started to happen, I’m getting very overwhelmed and feeling very anxious in anticipation of my impending turn to let go. Fuck, I really don’t want to. ( I’m only saying this here because I can never utter the words “Don’t go” that my heart is screaming inside my head.) Just as I’m sure, none of you wanted to. I wanted to be cool about all of this but I’m realizing that I’m probably going to be the uncoolest about it.
This Friday is move in day for students living on campus at Bella’s school and also, the matriculation ceremony and banquet for freshman, kicking off a weekend long “welcome to campus” extravaganza. While Bella is not moving on campus, as if graduation itself was not the signal of the end… the matriculation ceremony is here to put a fine point on the fact that your child is no longer yours but almost, completely autonomously their own.
So while she’s still technically here, she’s really there. I know that just like on the day she was born and everything changed, on Friday everything changes again and in 356 days… everything changes forever. No matter how tight my mama heart wants to hold on to the most precious thing in my world, I know I have to let go. And at a time when all I want to do is hold her closer and cling to her more tightly (maybe more than ever), I have to gently push her away with a smile and encouragement, while convincing her that I’m fine and it’s all going to be amazing, because for her, it will be and that’s all that matters right now.
College drop off feels sort of like we’re heading into this weird parent-child purgatory where we’re both growing, letting go and being let go of, it’s by far the hardest part of motherhood.
Then, I’ll have to hug her, a hug that I know will need to sustain me for weeks or months (this child of mine, who I’ve hugged and kissed several times a day since her existence, who I’ve shared everything with) and I have to release her as mine as she runs towards who she’s meant to be. And I have to do it with grace and unconditional love because this is about her, not me. This is the beginning of her beautiful journey. Then, I’ll have to drive away leaving my child behind, seeing her walking towards her future in the rear view mirror as I become more of her past than her future. If this isn’t the hardest part of motherhood, I don’t know what is and I don’t want to know.
This starts Friday. I can already feel it. I’ve felt the pangs and waves of letting go all summer. I don’t know how I’ll survive my mom matriculation, especially, since I have to do college drop off this Friday, then again next August and then again the following year for my youngest. I know I will survive. Because now I know, living 25 minutes or 12 hours away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because in your heart is in your heart and no amount of time or distance can separate the bond between a child and their parent.
No matter how near or far she flies away, I’ll always just be a phone call, text, car or plane ride away and this is how we survive college drop offs and new beginnings, her and us…mostly us. This is why I smile for her while my heart completely breaks for me. This is how we survive the hardest part of motherhood… the letting go.
I’m seriously thinking of starting a mom support group for middle-aged, perimenopausal moms who’ve had to send their children off to college and are trying to survive the letting go. If you want in this mom matriculation posse, let me know. We’ll get through this college drop off, suffer being left behind next chapter of our lives together. Freedom is not what its all cracked up to be. Why didn’t the baby books warn us about this bullshit?
If you can relate or just love following along, as I head off into the motherhood unknown, please like, share and follow.
Knowing when to Walk Away from Toxic Relationships
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
The disappointment of people who let you down whether it be a family member or a close friend is always devastating and somehow unexpected, even when all the signs warn you that it’s coming. Have you ever been let down by friends or family? Let’s be honest? Who hasn’t been? People are human and humans are fallible. We know this. Hell, I practically expect it. I’ve lived long enough to know that shit really does happen, especially when you least expect it. The key is recognizing toxic people and knowing when to walk away from toxic relationships.
The thing is I don’t want perfection in the people I love but I want respect, love and effort. I want you to try to live up to my expectations because I’m trying to be my best for you. I’m not trying to be perfect, because I want you to know the real me, I want to be less uneasy being my vulnerable self with you than the general public. So when you can’t do me the basic courtesy of being honest with me, you fail me, yourself and our friendship. This is what I teach my children. This is something I learned the hard way.
I teach my girls to behave this way and to expect it from others. Relationships are investments and you should expect ROI. Friendship shouldn’t be a bottomless pit of give. You should get what you give. You should get what you want to get. Will that always look like equality? Never. Sometimes one will need more than the other and other times the other will need more. Relationships should never involve receipts, IOUs or keeping score, it should be about being there and giving to one another what the other might need.
Knowing when to walk away from toxic relationships is a life skill and most of us don’t learn it until we’ve been burnt by toxic people more than once.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that not everyone feels or views relationships the same way. There are people who want relationships for purely selfish reasons, to see how they can benefit from it with no regard to the other person involved. Honestly, unrequited love has its place but not in a confirmed relationship whether that be friendship, a relationship or a marriage, that’s a violation of the social contract that humans agree to when getting involved with other human beings. It’s a fucking bamboozle and I’m not here for it.
So, let’s break the cycle. I’ve done my fair share of crying over relationships and I’m done. I’m henceforth accepting people for who they show me they are. I’m no longer putting my hope on how people can or will change because that’s not fair to me or them.
I’m not trying to change anyone and I’m certainly not changing myself for anyone. I’m trying to be my own best self so that I like the me in the mirror. End of. If you don’t like her, no need to discuss or argue, let’s just civilly part ways. TBH, if you tell me you don’t like me, I can accept that. I’m not for everyone. But if you pretend we’re friends or whatever the relationship is and you’re not all in, that’s worse. If I’m not a hell yes for you, let me be a hell no. It might sting temporarily because I’m human and I lean a tad on the narcissistic side but I will get over it.
However, if you enter into a relationship under false pretenses, that’ll hurt to my core because I allowed myself to be vulnerable, love and trust you when our time together was based on a lie that you knowingly perpetuated. You’ve wasted my precious time and squandered my care for you. That’s grounds for hate to me and you deserve it. I can forgive but I can’t forget so, we will never be the same because the trust and respect isn’t there… it probably never was because when you care about someone, you try to protect them.
I’ve taught my girls that to have a good friend , you’ve got to be a good friend. They believe this so they know the rules. They won’t waste your time pretending. Faking is not their way. Either they love you or you’re not significant enough to matter in any way that can hurt them. Make no mistake, they care about the human race, they are respectful and kind but they know that relationships are an investment. They don’t say anything behind you’re back that they aren’t prepared to say to your face. They don’t judge people on what they have, do or how they look or how popular you are. They judge you on how you treat them and others. They observe. Still, they’re teenagers and my middle-aged wisdom can only guide them through the murky waters of the teen years. But sometimes their youth and big feelings drown out my experience and they get hurt.
Relationship hurt has to be felt and gone through to process and make peace with. I encourage them to feel their feelings, talk about them and be honest with others about their feelings. Don’t push them down or pretend they’re ok when they’re not. That’s a recipe for disaster because then you’re just damaged for the next relationship. And don’t be fooled, it isn’t just romantic partners who have the power to hurt you in relationships. This advice applies to friends, lovers, family members, parents and co-workers. Respect yourself, know your boundaries, speak up and put in what you want to get out and most importantly, don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that no longer serve you, or worse, actively hurt you. Life is too fucking short.
Have you ever had to walk away from a relationship that you really wanted to work? What was harder for you, walking away from family, a relationship or a friendship? What are your best tips for walking away from toxic relationships?
Realistic New Year Resolutions to Help You Manifest Your Best Life in 2022
Estimated reading time: 11 minutes
Good morning and happy new year. Sounds kind of insincere to wish anyone a “happy” anything in the midst of yet another pandemic surge. Thank you Omicron. But I do sincerely wish each and every one of you a magical year filled with happiness; no matter what that may look like. That’s why this year, I’m forgoing the lofty idealistic and mostly unrealistic resolutions of the past in favor of realistic new year resolutions to help you manifest your best life in 2022.
The past 2 years have been hard, like astronomically hard, beyond anything any of us could ever have anticipated at the beginning of this pandemic. Yet here we all are. Certainly worse for the wear; a little humbled, sad and stronger. Yes, we’re surviving. You are stronger because (knock on wood) it hasn’t killed you yet…if you’re reading this. (Sorry about that, my sense of humor has gone a little dark in the past 2 years.)
Anyways, I’m not a self-help guru or someone who’s got all her shit together. I’m struggling but I did have a moment of clarity a few days ago and I came out the other end certain that our life journey is all about the tiny steps (no matter or how hard or easy it is to get to our desired destination in life). You don’t have to run, jump or leap. You just have to step in the direction you want to go. The most important thing is to know where you want to go.
So stop, right now. Stop thinking of where the world has told you that you should want to go or what you should want to be or have or do and ask yourself, “where do I want to go, be, have and do? What makes me happy? Who is worth my time, effort and love?” Then, prioritize.
Here comes the hard part, the people, places, things that don’t make you happy…let them go. I know it’s hard. It can feel almost impossible but hanging on to those things is dead weight around your neck and it’s slowly killing you. Don’t give more weight to people and things that don’t even consider you. Let that shit go.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself the same grace, love and patience that you afford everyone you love. Be diligent, attentive and proud of yourself. Do your best and be the best version of yourself. That’s it! You don’t owe anyone anything but yourself. You owe yourself happiness, love, laughter, contentment and peace (in whatever form that may be).
Here are my Realistic New Year Resolutions to Help Manifest Your Best Life in 2022
1. Prioritize yourself
For me, I naturally assume the martyr position because I’m a mom. Always putting myself last and everyone else’s needs above mine. They didn’t ask for it. It’s just what I’ve always done. It’s what my mom did. But that doesn’t serve me or my family well. It’s leaving me feeling like a failure as a human because while I’m excelling as a mom, I feel like I’ve lost me in the process. It makes me angry and unfulfilled and, quite frankly, unhappy and a little bitter and that spills over into everything else and taints the joy, bringing down the energy. This year, my family is going to always be the most important thing to me but now, I am going to be as important to myself as I am to them.
2. Move your body for 20 minutes a day
Y’all remember that I was diagnosed with diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol a few months before the pandemic hit? Well, I was and it scared the f*ck out of me. I started watching what I was eating, portion controlling and working out. I was overwhelmed. It was a lot. But in 6 months, I had lost 60 pounds and all my numbers were normal. The pandemic hit and between stress and not going anywhere, I gained 25 pounds back and slowly over the past 2 years my numbers have crept back up. They are still normal but if I don’t take control now, for how long will they stay healthy? I don’t want to find out so, I’m committing to myself to get my heart rate up 20 minutes a day to stay healthy. No lofty weight loss goals or black and white/ this or that/ never or always lines drawn in the sand. Just some prioritization and lots of grace and love for myself.
3. Eat whatever you want in moderation
Do NOT cut yourself off from the simple joys. I mean, come on, saying you’re never going to eat sugar or carbs again might sound like the answer to your problem of gaining weight but it’s not sustainable. It’s unrealistic. Worse still, it makes food unenjoyable. Honestly, when you live your life with drastic restrictions, are you living a life at all? You’re getting by. Food is not the enemy but it also doesn’t heal your traumas. Eat whatever you want in moderation while being cognizant of your own health, portion control and reality. If you’re drinking alcohol, drink water. If you’re eating garbage, drink water and move your body. The key is balance. But don’t starve yourself or fanatically restrict every calorie that goes into your body, that’s an actual eating disorder. Take it from me, I know.
4. Chase what makes you happy
This can be different for every single person on the earth. For one it might be traveling the world or becoming a doctor, for others, it might be earning a lot of money and living a lavish life and for some, it might mean creating something beautiful or just living peacefully. Guess what? None of them is wrong. Each of them is right. Happiness is derived from many different things in many different ways. Don’t be afraid to chase your happiness because even if you don’t make it to where you want to go on the first try, you’ll be closer and definitely happier and more fulfilled knowing that you went for it. For me, that means creating content that resonates with others and living my life on my own terms. Starting today, I want to post at least 5 days a week. You are my accountability buddy. Don’t let society tell you what to wear, how to look, who to love, what’s cool and what’s not. Do what makes you happy! Periodt. No one else lives in your body, your mind or your soul. Only you can choose your happiness and that starts by stopping taking other people’s opinions into consideration when deciding what makes your heart happy and full.
5. Travel
Wander the world. A change of scenery is good for your soul. Honestly, whether you are going to a cabin in the woods, hiking in the mountains, laying on a beach, or exploring a metropolis traveling is a way to reboot and gives you just enough distance and distraction to forget your worries for a little while and give you a fresh heart and eyes to tackle your woes when you return. My parents taught me from a very young age that travel is an experience that opens your mind and your heart. It makes you more tolerant, understanding and kind. There is no better gift you can give yourself. So travel everywhere you can any chance you get. It doesn’t matter if it’s 30 minutes from home or a 24-hour flight; walk where you’ve never walked before and try things you’ve never tried before. You won’t believe how your perspective of humans and the world, in general, will change.
6. Be the you that you want to be
This one can be hard because not all of us have taken the time in our lives to even ask ourselves what we want, who we want to be or what that looks like. Many of us have been swept up in our lives; it almost feels as if it happened to us and in some cases, as circumstances were, it did. But it’s never too late to change until you’re dead. Every single day is a new beginning. Every. Single. Day. So decide who the you is that YOU want to be and be that. Make a list. For example, I want to be a more attentive wife (pandemic has made me in survival mode but I want more. I want slow dancing in the kitchen, hand-holding on walks and snuggles on the couch) I want to be a strong role model for my girls and I also want to be their best friend, I want to evolve my career to the next level (so I’m working my tail off to complete this Masters in Digital Marketing), I want to actively choose the life I live and I want joy and satisfaction to be the guiding factor.
7. Don’t let other people’s actions steal your joy
Only positive vibes this year. It’s an inside joke in my family that I am eternally optimistic. I’ve always been this way. If I weren’t, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here…or anywhere. I think I just had a hard childhood (like so many of us #generationaltrauma) and I know that worry is a useless emotion and negativity absolutely brings the energy down. If you don’t believe you can, you absolutely won’t so I’m living that MexiCAN (Not MexiCANT) life. All this to say, trust and believe in yourself. You are the master of your own destiny. The only way other people can steal your joy is if you allow them to. Do NOT let those people have that power.
8. Sleep
It sounds super basic. I know. But sleep is the cure-all to life (well, that and water). Sleep is something that has always been a challenge for me (manic bipolar who is clinically diagnosed insomniac) add in some ADHD, perfectionist tendencies and then hit me over the head with the pandemic anxiety. Yes, sleep is absolutely elusive for a lot of adults, especially parents. I am not alone in this but it is a basic need to stay healthy and happy. So do what you need to do to get at least 6-8 hours of sleep. Stop laughing. It is possible. Try relaxing at night, dim the lights, get cozy and turn off the screens. Meditate. Take a warm bath. Don’t drink alcohol or caffeine before bed and rethink those sugar snacks before bed. Get your exercise done earlier in the day so you can benefit from the endorphins without that energy surge at bedtime. Last but not least, make a small to-do list every day in the morning and cross those 5 things off as the day goes and at bedtime, throw it in the garbage. The list could be as simple as drink coffee, pick up kids from school, return books to library, go for a walk and drink water. Then, give yourself permission to rest and forget the rest until tomorrow. Do this every day until it becomes a habit.
9. Drink water
This is so simple and basic that it sounds almost ridiculous to put it on a list but it is very important. Drink your water. Water really is life. It’s great for your skin, your health and your mind. Set a goal to drink at least 64 ounces of water every single day. Staying hydrated can contribute to a general sense of well-being.
10. Get dressed everyday
I get it, it sounds like common sense but let me tell you, as a stay at home mom during a pandemic, I’ve spent a lot of the last two years wearing loungewear, whether that be fuzzy skims, tie-dyed lounge sets, LuLulemons/joggers and sweatshirts or just changing from my night jammies to my day jammies. I have not been dressing in all the cute clothes that I’ve bought to satisfy my pandemic anxiety shopping. Last week, I went to my in-laws for Christmas and I put on a cute sweater dress with knee-high boots and put makeup on and did my hair. It was a game-changer. I felt cute and sexy and human. Never underestimate the power of dressing for yourself and feeling beautiful in your own skin. It absolutely changed my entire outlook on life and my self-confidence.
11. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You can’t do everything or be everything to everyone. It’s ok to be vulnerable and fragile, let other’s help. Don’t put off medical, mental or spiritual needs. Needing help is not a shortcoming, it is part of being human. We all need help at some time to survive life. No one is an island. If what you’re doing isn’t working don’t be afraid to pivot or change directions entirely.
12. Live everyday like it’s a special ocassion
You do not need to live like you’re dying but, for the love of God, live and love like every day you are alive is a special occasion. Celebrate you. Eat the macarons. Wear that little black dress from Nordstrom. Take the trip to Paris. Tell the people your heart is crushing on that you love them, that they are special and you are glad they are a part of your life. Stop saving shit for someday when today is yesterday’s someday.
These are my realistic new year resolutions to help you manifest your best life in 2022 and every year after that. Choose your own happiness. Choose your own adventure. We only have one life and the time on earth is not that long, so do what you want. Choose you.
In the end, the goal should be to live your life in such a way that even if you die at 99-years-old (like my abuelito and Betty White did) it’s still too soon.
The TRUTH behind Imagine Dragons Believer lyrics
My girls “anthem” sing Imagine Dragons Believer, at the top of their lungs, every time it comes on the radio. I know the chorus. It’s a catchy tune but I never paid attention to the lyrics. I never listened to the words, not like I did this morning.
The funny thing is as a tween/teen and even into my twenties, I lived and died by lyrics. I’m a writer, words mean everything to me. But somehow, as a result of my 13 years of living in a mom coma, from which I am just recently waking, those words have been reduced to just the choruses. But not today Satan. As I listened to Believer, it was as if I was hearing the song for the first time ever and now, I can never unhear it. Nor do I want to.
I’m glad my girls are singing it loud and fiercely because it deserves at least that. It’s a strong song of overcoming life and becoming who you are meant to be. It’s about persistence and growth and never giving up and it is beautiful.
I was struck because, when I actually paid attention to the lyrics, it’s so familiar. It is my life. It’s everything I feel, believe and lived. I’m fairly certain most of us can. I’ve told my girls from birth that beauty is pain and it’s true, just as you can’t hate without love; you cannot fully comprehend beauty in life without having survived the pain. That pain is what makes you appreciate the beauty or notice it at all.
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The pain in our lives that we survive, they make us stronger and make us fighters. We grow in our refusal to give up. We become better versions of ourselves, more sufficient; stronger. Not saying that I’d wish hard times on anyone but life is not for the soft and the pristine. In this world, you need to have experienced some pain in order to find the beauty to carry on because if there is nothing worth fighting for to lose then why bother?
I, honestly, think that pain and hardship makes us kinder more compassionate people. I know that it can harden some but, personally, it made me decide if I wanted to fight or be a victim. Giving up was never an option for me.
The simple fact is that life is hard and sure, it’s at varying degrees for each of us. We all have our strengths and breaking points. You’ve heard the saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle?” Well, I’ve had that saying thrown at me on many occasions in my life and many times I’ve wanted to say, “THIS IS my breaking point!” And yet, here I am. I bend. I don’t break that easily so I guess, he knows my breaking point. I can only guess.
Each tragedy has made me stronger, more understanding of others, more aware of my own limitations ( or my strengths) and they’ve left me with something to contribute on the subject. There is always a way to make your horrible experience a cautionary tale and save someone else from your same fate.
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When you’re living through the pain, it doesn’t feel like there could ever be such a purpose for such physical and mind shattering pain but in retrospect, each horror I have endured in my life; every tragedy and almost moment of complete brokenness has made me stronger and better. Not that I want any more pain in my life but I can see its purpose now and I try to hold on to that when life starts trying to kick the shit out of me.
Life is good. I am blessed, even in my pain because each hurt has helped me to help someone else. I share my pain and others know they are now alone. They leave comments and I can respond thoughtfully and honestly because I do understand. I don’t have to wonder what it feels like to be so beaten down. I’ve been there. I survived and that means they can too because I’m not special, by any stretch of the imagination, I’m just human.
Imagine Dragons Believer
First things first
I’ma say all the words inside my head
I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh
The way that things have been, oh ooh
Second thing second
Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be
I’m the one at the sail, I’m the master of my sea, oh ooh
The master of my sea, oh oohI was broken from a young age
Taking my sulking to the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heartache from the pain
Taking my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through theYou made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believerThird things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you’ve heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh ooh
Your spirit up above, oh oohI was choking in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
‘Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, likeYou made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believerLast things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
‘Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, likeYou made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believerI told you it was a powerful song, once you know the lyrics. What are your thoughts on Imagine Dragons Believer?
