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Throat punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday,INdia

This weeks Throat Punch was sent in by one of my great friends. You know it’s truly worthy of a throat punch when your friends in the real world send you an email with the subject Please Throat Punch. I read the article she included and boy is this worthy of a throat punch of epic proportions. It is so horrendous that I am actually speechless. So I will simply share with you excerpts from the actual article.

MORENA, India – The room is large and airy, the stone floors clean and cool — a welcome respite from the afternoon sun. Until your eyes take in the horror that it holds. Ten severely malnourished children — nine of them girls.

The starving girls in this hospital ward include a 21-month-old with arms and legs the size of twigs and an emaciated 1-year-old with huge, vacant eyes. Without urgent medical care, most will not live to see their next birthday.

They point to a painful reality revealed in India’s most recent census: Despite a booming economy and big cities full of luxury cars and glittering malls, the country is failing its girls.


The discrimination happens through abortions of female fetuses and sheer neglect of young girls, despite years of high-profile campaigns to address the issue. So serious is the problem that it’s illegal for medical personnel to reveal the gender of an unborn fetus, although evidence suggests the ban is widely circumvented.

“My mother-in-law says a boy is necessary,” says Sanju, holding her severely malnourished 9-month-old daughter in her lap in the hospital. The woman, who goes by one name, doesn’t admit to deliberately starving the girl but only shrugs her own thin shoulders when asked why her daughter is so sick.

Part of the reason Indians favor sons is the enormous expense in marrying off girls. Families often go into debt arranging marriages and paying elaborate dowries. A boy, on the other hand, will one day bring home a bride and dowry. Hindu custom also dictates that only sons can light their parents’ funeral pyres.

But it’s not simply that girls are more expensive for impoverished families. The census data shows that the worst offenders are the relatively wealthy northern states of Punjab and Haryana.

Though abortion is allowed in India, the country banned revealing the gender of unborn fetuses in 1994 in an attempt to halt sex-selective abortions. Every few years, federal and state governments announce new incentives — from free meals to free education — to encourage people to take care of their girls.

n the district hospital’s maternity ward, a wrinkled old woman walks out holding a just-born girl wrapped in a dirty rag like an unwelcome present. Munni, who uses only one name, is clearly unhappy. Her daughter-in-law has just given birth to her sixth girl in 12 years of marriage.

Will the daughter-in-law go through another pregnancy?

“Everyone wants boys. A boy takes care of you in your old age,” Munni says.

As a mother-in-law, Munni will likely have enormous control over her son’s wife, influencing how many children she has and nudging or bullying her to bear a son.

“Women cry when they have girls,” nurse Lalitha Gujar says as she spoons powdered coconut, peanuts and sesame seeds into bowls of fortified milk to nourish the tiny children.

All nine mothers of the sickly infant girls say they want sons — to look after them when they get old, because their sisters-in-law have more sons, because their mothers-in-law demand male children.

“If a woman has a boy, for a month she will be looked after. If she has a girl, she’ll be back in the fields in three days,” says Sudha Misra, a local social worker.

An exhausted mother who faces neglect, poor nutrition and blame for producing a daughter is likely to pass on that neglect, social workers say. For an infant, that can mean the difference between life and death.

“A malnourished child will get sick and the chances of death are very high,” Bandil says.

For the very poor, the pressures to bear sons result in mistreatment of both the baby girl and mother. And rich women are not immune to this mistreatment if they fail to bear male children.

For those with money, it’s often about being able to locate a radiologist who, for a cost, will break the law and reveal the sex of the fetus, or being able to fly abroad for such tests.

Throat Punch, Chuck Norris, Thursday, florida 15 year old boy killedThroat Punch to you India for allowing such unspeakable acts..not only do you look the other way at such behavior, if caught you basically only issue a small slap on the wrist to those who violate the law. What the hell is wrong with you? You say that men are more desirable. I know that you are not the first or the only country to feel this way, but riddle me this..how the hell do you expect the species to survive if you murder the very people..the ONLY sex, that can have children. You say your sons will take care of you. Well, who is supposed to have the sons if you murder all the potential brides and mothers. As a mother of daughters, this behavior is disgusting and intolerable. The world needs to put a hard stop to this. We need to give more than a slap on the wrist. We need to give India a Chuck Norris Throat Punch to knock some sense into them. Girls? We don’t need no stinkin girls! Yeah..yeah you do. Without little girls, there would be no women, without women there would be no babies, with no babies ,there will be no little boys. With out any little boys, there would be NO MEN! Gendercide sucks and those that perpetrate it deserve more than a theoretical throat punch.Let the little girls live!

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miscarriage, loss, pregnancy, I forgot

What is wrongful life?

Wrongful Life; the term sends shivers down my spine. How can someone be wrongfully born? You cannot be accidentally born. At some point, there was intent. Someone caused this to happen, it was not accidental.

Wrongful life An event in which legal action may be taken by–or on behalf of the baby suffering from a hereditary or congenital defect, eg Down syndrome or other disease, eg rubella, who would not have been born had the parents had the knowledge to opt for an abortion; WL represents either the failure to diagnose in utero a condition that would lead to a major life-long handicap or recognize such a condition in a sibling, allowing a 2º, similarly afflicted, child to be born; the child is the defendant named in a lawsuit initiated to defray the incurred and anticipated medical, nursing and related health expenses; in both WB and WL, the defendant may be liable for support and care of the infant from ‘cradle to grave’

Ariel and Deborah Levy of Portland, Oregon, filed a “wrongful birth” lawsuit against Legacy Health System. The suit was filed because the Levy’s would have terminated the pregnancy had they known they would give birth to a special-needs child.

The Levy’s were awarded $2.9 million after doctors misdiagnosed their daughter as not having Down syndrome during prenatal screening. Imagine their shock when they delivered and had to unexpectedly adjust all their hopes and dreams because of a negligent doctor.

They had made the effort to have the prenatal screening. They had already made the difficult, if not impossible, decision to abort their child if there was a genetic disorder due to the extreme cost of taking care of the child.

The $2.9 million will only cover the estimated additional lifetime costs of caring for someone with Down syndrome.

Perhaps, just reading the words of this story, it sounds a bit crass or cold. After all, there are women all over the world going through hell and high water to try and conceive a child, any child. I also know many mothers of special needs children who would not trade them in for the entire world. That is a mother’s love.I understand this completely. It’s easy to judge when we are not in the Levy’s situation.

But if you were in the position of the Levy’s, faced with the possibility of a child who you would have to care for their entire life, saddled with a lifetime of extreme medical costs and having to worry if you would live long enough to secure that they were always taken care of, what would you do?

How do you label your baby a wrongful life when you’ve always wanted them?

What would any of us do? How could we know for sure until we were faced with the situation.

Would you consider prenatal genetic screening? Or would it be irrelevant to the pregnancy? When I was younger, there would have been no question. In fact, I declined testing with both of my pregnancies because my thought process was that it simply did not matter. No matter the circumstances. They were my babies and I could never consider termination. In retrospect, that was a bit naive on my part.

Now, that I am older; risks are higher, my lifetime is shorter and  having two other children, I simply could not afford the high costs of caring for a child with extreme special needs. At 39, I would have to consider a scenario that I would have vehemently refused 8 years ago. I don’t know for sure how I would feel if I ever found myself in the Levy’s shoes. I hope I never do because I imagine it was a very painful and stressful situation to even consider. I do know that the malpractice on the part of the doctors has altered their lives forever, against their will.

They didn’t sign up for this. They love their little girl, she is their little girl but they have a very tough road ahead of them, even if it is peppered with having the honor of loving this little girl.I wish the world were a better place and things like this never even had to be thought about. I wish all babies were born healthy, all women who wanted babies could get pregnant and we all had an endless supply of money, tome and patience but that’s not reality.

How to do you feel about this case? Would you ever consider aborting a baby that you knew was going to have extreme incurable medical issues? Do you think the doctors should be held accountable in the case of a wrongful life? Do you need the help of a medical malpractice attorney who can help you if you need legal action?

Is there such a thing as wrongful life?

Photo

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https://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2010/06/24/dnt.condoms.for.elementary.kids.wcvb

Well, we all know how I feel about sex education for elementary schoolers. What is this world coming to? When kindergarten through fifth grade students return to class at Veterans Memorial Elementary School in Provincetown, Mass., this fall, they’ll be able to ask the school nurse for condoms.Well,that’s a hell of a school supply. That  better not show up on my beginning of the year wish list for the class, they can  just keep on wishing.Wishing they were older! No questions, no write your name down and call your Mama. It’s their very own don’t ask, don’t tell; the mini me version. It’s a free license to be promiscuous and experiment sexually when you are in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Some of these kids can’t even spell their names, tie their shoes, barely wipe their own asses. Now, we are giving them condoms. They don’t have the social skills to know how to deal with this. This is wrong on so many levels that I am beyond flabbergasted. I am on the ground passed out. Yes, I am lying on the floor passed out typing this post.
Thanks to a new, district-wide policy approved by the Provincetown School Board, condoms are now available to students in all schools, regardless of their age. Parents will not only NOT be informed, they can not opt their children out. So there is no paperwork to sign to say do NOT give my kid condoms! WTF? Who the hell are these people? What the hell gives them the right to do this without  my permission? They work for me, right? This is a damn infringement of parental rights if ever I saw one!Thank GOD my kids are going to Catholic school!
Officials say that there’s no set age when sexual activity starts and students who ask for condoms will also receive counseling and information on abstinence. OK, so we are expected to give these little kids condoms and not expect them to think its OK to experiment? It’s like giving them candy and saying not to eat it. They don’t have the restraint. Are we going to see an increase in “date” rapes? Little boys are going to think since they were given the condoms with adult permission maybe that means free range to have sex with whatever little girl they choose.
This is absurd. What next, passing out guns when kids start 2nd grade? Whose brilliant idea was this to give K-5th graders condoms? I mean are they passing out some special brand for babies? No way a condom made for a grown mans junk is going to fit a elementary schooler’s penis! I don’t have little boys so I don’t know how that works but I do feel that by doing this they have made the world a little lot less safe unsafe for little girls.
This weeks throat punch definitely goes to the morons at the Provincetown School Board, the world renowned champion mental midgets, who approved this district wide policy of condoms for kiddies. Stay tuned, I am sure it will be coming to your town soon!Happy Mothering! Oh wait, better check to see if that is OK with the Provincetown School Board first. What’s next? Free abortion clinics operating out of the gymnasium at the middle school? Maybe free crack if you make the AB honor roll?

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#icebucketchallenge, ice bucket challenge, ALS, ALSA, Catholic Church

Seems like everyone’s doing the ALS #IceBucketChallenge.

Well, not quite everyone. Not the Catholic Church, not anymore. Not since someone discovered that people acting like goofballs to raise awareness for a very important cause is something “bad”.

Full Disclosure: If you’ve been a reader here for any amount of time, you’ve probably already surmised that I’m a very liberal Catholic. Yes, we do exist!

Okay, let me be totally honest, I’ve got to tread lightly here but I want to write this post. Recently, “a friend” (let’s say his name rhymes with “the principal”) was nominated for the #icebucketchallenge by 3 kindergarteners. If you knew this guy, you’d know that he’s is a genuinely good guy. He mentioned that he’d been trying to decide whether or not he would take part in the ALS ice bucket challenge. In fact, he was rallying to get a couple priests to do the challenge with him to help garner more attention for the cause until he received a “concerned citizen” note that informed him that he shouldn’t do it because the ALSA uses embryonic stem research. (Cue pitchforks and angry parent mob).

She was not so subtly warning him that participating in the ALS #Icebucketchallenge would put him in direct contradiction to the church’s position on abortion. (Cue disapproving look and shunning). Obviously, this was her “Christian duty”, seeing as his everlasting soul was in peril. Sorry kids. No dunking the principal in ice water to help the sinners at ALSA. (I hope you are reading this in sarcasm font and know that I am being facetious.)

I know many people who have done it. A few of my brothers and sisters (yes, I told you we’re Catholic. Keep up) have even done it. We are big into raising awareness of important causes. I understand my religion’s stance on embryonic stem cell research but before we through the baby out with the ice water people should know that you can tell the ALSA where to spend your contribution. You can specify that you don’t want to contribute to embryonic stem research or you can donate to the ALS Foundation, which helps people living with the disease by providing supplies or the John Paul II Medical Research foundation, which concentrates on medical research using adult stem cells and other alternatives to embryonic stem cells.

He closed the letter by saying that he WILL be accepting the challenge from the 3 kindergarteners and donating to a Diocesan approved ALS charity because the idea of finding a cure for ALS is noble.

No matter what you think about the ALS #icebucketchallenge ( which to be honest I thought was kind of ridiculous until I saw the above video) but now am forced to defend it because I always thought being a “good person” was about tolerance and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Seems like some people think their morals put them on a higher horse than the rest of us. Can’t we all just help those in need?

What do you think about the #Icebucketchallenge ?

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Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Presidential debate, nasty woman, bad hombres, election 2016

I’m a nasty woman and I vote. Last night’s debate should have sealed the deal if you were an undecided voter this election. Donald Trump was an unapologetic, “unpolished turd” to paraphrase my new favorite CNN political commentator, Van Jones. If you thought his creeper, shark circling tactics of the last debate were bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.

In the third debate, Donald Trump went full on crazy with a side of delusional. Thankfully, Chris Wallace was a formidable moderator and was able to wrangle the crazy back on point, mostly. I’m sure the SNL writers were up last night fervently scribbling this week’s debate skit. It was a shit show of epic proportions but it made for some good television though for a terrifying reality.

I could provide you with a million reasons why you should be voting for Hillary Clinton (the candidate who won all three debates according to CNN) this election, most importantly the fact that Donald Trump has no political experience, but why not let him convince you himself.

Here are some quotes that resonated with me the most and as a Latina woman and mom who holds a degree in political science (Politics are my jam, people. The constitution is my bible and sometimes I wonder if Trump has actually ever read it), I cannot find any redemption, whatsoever, in this man or his campaign, especially not his politics.

Thanks to Heavy for rounding all the quotes from the debate in one spot, if you want to see a more comprehensive list of the shit storm that flew out of Donald Trump’s mouth at the third debate.

“I think it’s terrible if you go with what Hillary is saying in the ninth month you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby.”

**I’m not sure that Mr. Trump actually understands what a late term abortion is. What he just described is called a c-section. Silly Trump, all moms know that.

“One of my first acts will be to get all of the drug lords, we have some bad, bad people in this country this have to go out. We’ll get them out, secure the bothered and once the border is secured at a later date we’ll make a determination as to the rest. But we have some bad hombres here and we’re going to get them out.”

**As a first generation Mexican American, I wanted to smack the taste out of Mr. Trumps mouth when he used this term. It was derogatory in every sense of the word and I was deeply offended. I was even more offended when Republican political commentator Kayleigh McEnany implied that Latinos have no right to be offended and basically that we were being overly sensitive. It was her opinion that we needed to not be so political correct and not be offended. Easy for you to say, blonde-haired, Caucasian woman. As if her blind partisanship was not enough she has the nerve to tell Latinos what they can and can’t be offended by.

“I didn’t even apologize to my wife, who is sitting right there,” Trump said on the allegations of sexual assault against him. He called the claims “fiction.”

**Melania said he did. He said he didn’t. Either way, he looks like a jerk.

“Nobody has more respect for women than me. Nobody,” Trump repeated.

** Says the man who grabs women’s private parts at will.

“She should not be allowed to run. In that case, I say this is rigged,” Trump said.

**Isn’t this the battle cry of every poor sportsman from toddler age to, apparently, grown business man?

“We cannot take four more years of Barack Obama and that’s what you get when you get her,” Trump said at the end of the debate.

**Wait…was that an endorsement? I don’t know about you but if I wasn’t convinced to vote for Hillary already, I surely would be now!

When asked if he will accept the results of the election, Trump told Wallace, “What I’m saying is I’ll tell you at the time. I’ll keep you in suspense, okay?” (This was in stark contrast with his running mate Mike Pence, who said that they would accept the election results.”

**I’m with CNN’s Van Jones on this one.

“That is an outrage!” he exclaimed with his voice rising. “The appalling lack of patriotism from this man. The appalling lack of patriotism of this man to say this and praise Putin and Assad more than he has ever praised any American president. He doesn’t talk about George Washington, He doesn’t talk about Ronald Reagan the way he talks about Putin and Assad. This man has demonstrated an appalling lack of patriotism and you should be ashamed to defend it.”

“Such a nasty woman,” Trump called Clinton.

**I can’t even with this man. He is the most disrespectful, misogynistic man alive and to allow him to take office would be a betrayal of my love for my daughters. How could any woman put this man in office? He has no respect for women at all.

Just remember Donald, we’ve all been made to feel like the “nasty woman” at one time or another by some man and we all vote. When you go low, we go nasty!

All I can say is thank God for CNN and God Bless America because we need it. The fact that a man like Donald Trump, with no experience or understanding of politics, can even be allowed to get the Republican nomination scares me.

Would any of us allow a 4’2″, 700 lb., 69-year-old man play for the NFL just because he wanted to? No because it’s ridiculous and he might get hurt. Desire is not enough sometimes. There needs to be skill, know-how and basic requirements. So why on earth would we allow Donald Trump to become President of the United States? His lack of experience and understanding of politics will not just affect him, he will destroy our entire nation. How can anyone not see that? This is dangerous. It’s not a game. It’s our future.

Nasty women of the world and people who love nasty women vote or suffer the consequences of what your collective silence will bring. I’m voting for Hillary Clinton not just because she is a women but because she is the only qualified candidate. She has the know-how, the experience and the fortitude to get things done in America. The fact that she is a woman is only a bonus, for me.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section. Can you find any redemption in Donald Trump’s third debate performance?

If you’re a nasty woman raise your hand and get out and vote on November 8th!

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grief,loss, parenting, miscarriage

Five years ago this morning, I broke the news of my miscarriage to you in a blog post, as I was undergoing my D & E. It was the only way that I could process any of it. It was the only way that I could carry on and your support meant everything to me but every day since, I’ve had to live alone with that loss like we all do. Try to make sense of something so senseless.

Recently, I did something that surprised even me. I shouldn’t have looked. Until, I saw it, in person, in the flesh, it wasn’t “real”. It was just this terrible thing that happened to me five years ago. It was the bill I paid for what is referred to by the medical billing department as a “missed abortion”. It was a child I will never hold. It is the faint whisper of sadness that lingers forever and leaves me melancholy just around the edges. It wasn’t real in the way that you could see it with your own eyes.

But I’ve seen it now and I can’t unsee it.

Last month, we took the girls to Chicago for Spring break. It’s my hometown and the girls have been many times but they’ve never done the touristy things so we took them to some museums and the zoo. It was a fantastic trip.

Then, I saw something that I’ve seen before but with fresh eyes and a heart that’s survived a miscarriage.

As we entered the exhibit, one I’d seen before, I suddenly felt anxious. Like I needed to know. I was borderline obsessive and I couldn’t control myself. No one noticed what I was doing but I think the Big Guy caught a glimpse of the desperation in my eyes as I walked up to the dial upon entering the Your Beginning exhibit and turned it to the first trimester; I wanted to pinpoint specifically the 4th day of the 11th week. What could he do?

grief, loss, anniversary, parenting, miscarriage

 

The exhibit was different than before. It was completely in black, darkness was everywhere and only the fetuses were lit up as if my very soul had put this exhibit together. It is somber. I tried not to do it. You’re not supposed to do it. You’re supposed to carry on. Push it down and pretend it never happened. You’re supposed to move on. Go on living as if your entire life is not tinged by the hole in your heart. 

I didn’t want to make a spectacle with my mom, my sister, my daughters and my husband there. I didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole of grief facing anger and sadness head on but I had to know, so I turned the dial.

Such a little thing and to anyone who didn’t know or even just wasn’t paying attention, this was naturally inquisitive behavior. Only I never twisted the dial to progress to the second trimester. Instead, I left it frozen in time, suspended in disbelief, as is my daily existence since that day 5 years ago.

I try not to overthink it or linger too long in my loss. The emotional time bombs are less and less frequent but I remember every single day. I have two children but I am the mother of three but most people don’t know that.

It’s not like I wear a t-shirt that says so. It’s not like I’m marked in any way but on the inside, I am scarred. I don’t howl like an injured animal as I did on that day or fall apart anymore; so silently I continue on, remembering but not making too big of a deal about it.

Pregnancy loss is so common that some people believe it’s almost normal. I could never subscribe to that way of thinking because for me it was profound. For me, losing my pregnancy changed me forever. But still, after a while, it feels like it happened to someone else and you learn to live with it. It feels like a wound that’s healed and the scar has faded and you hide it beneath your clothes so no one has to look at it or think about it or feel sorry for you ever again.

grief, loss, parenting, miscarriage, anniversary

But you want to feel it. The pain makes it real. It reminds you that it happened. The pain is the only thing that proves your baby was here at all. So, I looked and now, I can never forget.

The scarred wound of my miscarriage has been ripped wide open.

On the morning of my D & E, I frantically demanded that they perform another ultrasound. In complete desperation, I refused surgery without one more ultrasound. I was desperate for rescue. I needed this to all be a mistake. I needed my baby to be alive.

But when they did the ultrasound, there in black and white, the perfect baby with absolutely no heartbeat. He looked like he was sleeping. Like a little astronaut exploring the space of my uterus and that was the last thing I saw before my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. I broke, just before they wheeled me into the operating room and I’ve detached myself as much as I can since.

My heart still aches but it’s in survival mode. But on that day in April at the Museum of Science and Industry, I purposefully opened my wound. The pain makes me feel closer to my baby. I walked into the exhibit and I slowly made my way to the 11 wks. Fetus. Yes, the exhibit has fetuses from conception until 40 weeks in formaldehyde. Then, I saw it, the closest thing to my reality; 11-weks and 4 days and 11-weeks and 6-days.

grief, loss, parenting, miscarriage, anniversary

I felt the wind get knocked out of me as it has been almost every time I think of what will never be. My eyes began to go blurry and the room began to spin. It was hard to breathe. There it was; bigger than I’d thought; a fully formed person; with 10- fingers and 10-toes and ears and a tiny little mouth and eyes. It wasn’t a “pregnancy” that I lost, it was a person.

grief, loss, parenting, miscarriage, anniversary

 

I wanted to run away and howl, like I did in my car on that day 5 years ago. But I was frozen and trying to digest the truth. I couldn’t speak. I only lingered. Truthfully, part of me never wanted to leave because it was like seeing my baby for the first time. I know it wasn’t my baby but it was what my baby would have looked like could I have seen him; touched him; held him in my arms.

My miscarriage robbed me of all of that.

No one said a word. I was like thin glass in an earthquake and it was taking everything inside me to not collapse and sob like a baby on the floor. My legs were shaky. I could feel myself getting wobbly. It hurt reopening that wound but it was something I needed to do. In some small way, it gave me closure just knowing/seeing what was. It made him real and less than a memory cloaked in sadness and emptiness.

On this day, I forgive myself and give myself over to the grief. I get no birthdays to celebrate with my third baby but I will never forget he existed, if only briefly. Every year on the 1st of May, for the rest of my life, I will be alone with my grief and allow myself to remember the worst day of my life because it’s the only tangible memory I have of my third child.

Today, I am frail and vulnerable and my heart is heavy because my arms are empty and my house is filled with the laughter of one less than it is supposed to be and I can never forget any of that.

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unexpected pregnancy, unexpected pregnancy at 40, pregnancy, advanced maternal age, getting pregnant at 40

What would you do if you found yourself with an unexpected pregnancy at 40?

I’m not talking about the run of the mill “planning to plan” unexpected pregnancy or we were “not using birth control but thought we were careful” surprise pregnancy. I am talking about the “I was 13-years-old having my first sexual encounter” unexpected pregnancy or the “I’m 40 and thought we were done having babies” unplanned pregnancy of the “oh shit” variety. The life-changing, game changer unexpected pregnancy.

The choice of what to do next.

Unplanned Pregnancy at 40 can bring with it a little shock and awe

My friend just found out that she is unexpectedly pregnant. This will be her third child. Her other two children are tweens. This baby was not planned. They thought they were completely passed the diaper changing, middle of the night feeding stage.Yet, here they are smack dab in the middle of an unexpected pregnancy; shocked, confused and scared.

READ ALSO: Every Child Is A Choice

She and I have talked about this a lot. The Big Guy and I have gone back and forth over the years pondering 2.5 children. We have been blessed with two amazing, healthy wonderful daughters but even though the prospect of a third ( trying for the elusive boy baby) sounded good, it was nothing either of us would actually pull the trigger on, so to speak.

Now, our girls are 4 and 7 and it feels like the time has passed and the window of opportunity is closed. I’m 39, just like my girlfriend. At this point, a baby would be starting all over.

An unexpected pregnancy still results in a baby

Initially, when she told me I was shocked, quite frankly, because it was such an unexpected pregnancy but I was excited because ..it’s a baby! Then the more I thought about it and the more we talked, I was scared for her. Getting pregnant in your 20’s or 30’s is not the same as getting pregnant at 40 unexpectedly.

There are things to consider like genetic disorders for the baby, higher health risks for the mother and how old the parents will be when the child is growing up. The looks and questions that will come with having a child after 40? Strangers asking if you are his/her Grandma? Things I had never considered in my scenario.

READ ALSO: Missing that New Baby Smell when Pregnancy is not an Option

You have to consider your long-term financial outlook and you have to consider that perhaps, you or your husband, are not willing or wanting to be a parent to a third child; not willing to go backward in your parenting journey. You are suddenly faced with a decision of whether or not you should move forward with the pregnancy.

You are not the same person you were in your 20’s and 30’s and your body is not what it was in your 20’s and 30’s. Is it selfish to logically weigh all of your options? When you are in your 20’s and 30’s the threat of a genetic disorder is a far off, probably not going to happen, when you are 40 the stats are something like 1/100 that your baby will have Downs Syndrome.

READ ALSO: My Unexpected Pregnancy at 39 and what I did

I know people will reference Kelle Hampton and Nella. Or what a gift Nella is and what an amazing mother Kelle is but not everyone can emotionally or financially afford a baby with a genetic disorder. What would you do? How could you choose? And worse, what if the choice were taken out of your hands by your body failing you and terminating the pregnancy?

My friend has decided to go forward with her surprise pregnancy and embrace it as her final baby. But it’s raised a lot of questions in my mind, what would I do if I were faced with an unexpected pregnancy? Have you ever been faced with a surprise pregnancy? What did you or would you do if you found yourself with an unexpected pregnancy at 13 or 40? Would abortion ever cross your mind?

If you become pregnant unexpectedly, see your healthcare professionals and ob services as soon as you can so that a plan can be put into place.

Could your unexpected pregnancy be a blessing?

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Throat Punch Thursday~ Sesame street, gay wedding, gay marriage

Throat Punch Thursday~Gay wedding, gay marriage, sesame street, ernie and bert

I am all for equal opportunity in every aspect of life, including a gay wedding and marriage. I wish that every single person in the entire world could be free to live their life without judgement or persecution regardless of color, race, religion or sexual preference. But, alas, that is not the world we live in. Sadly, we don’t live in a world of acceptance or understanding instead we even lack tolerance. We live in a world where the moral majority likes to look down its nose at anyone or anything that is not what they deem appropriate.

I think we need to teach our children not to be tolerant but to be accepting and loving of all people. But it shouldn’t be forced or shoved down their throats. It needs to be organic.So, when I read a post on Mommyish.com referencing an article in the  New York Daily News titled

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Throat Punch Thursday~ Sesame street, gay wedding, gay marriage

NewYorkDailyNews.Com

Online Push for Bert, Ernie to have a Gay Wedding on Sesame street

I was a bit taken aback. Apparently, there is a petition to have Sesame Street have a gay wedding take place between Ernie and Bert. This is not organic. This is shoving an idea in front of an audience who will not only not understand why suddenly Bert and Ernie are in the same bed but we, the parents, will be left to explain this concept. More than that, I don’t want my children used to push a political agenda. What’s next on Sesame street? Abortion? Teen pregnancy? STDs? I trust PBS to help me teach my kids the alphabet, numbers, shapes and colors. There are few channels that I can say that I trust.Usually because they are selling my kids out to the highest advertising bid.*I’m talking to you Nickelodeon. Sesame Street has been a great learning tool for many parents but I don’t think this particular topic should be broached with this audience. It’s teaching an agenda to an audience held captive by puppets.It’s bullshit!

My Throat Punch this week goes to the 700 strong who have signed the petition to push this agenda. Not because it’s the wrong agenda but because it’s the wrong place and the wrong audience. Most of the general public is not a fan of helicopter parenting because of how it doesn’t allow children to grow and form their own experiences and opinions, so how is this acceptable? It is forcing a position on a controversial subject onto our children. What happened to free will? I thought that was, after all, the ultimate goal. Free to be you and Me. Not free to be who you want me to be! What do you think about the idea of a gay wedding on Sesame Street?

If you know someone who deserves a Throat Punch this week, please link up. The link is up for a week. Just GFC follow The TRUTH about Motherhood, grab the button(located under the “buttons” tab) and put it in your post and then link up your post. Leave a comment here so I can visit your Throat Punch.

Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding

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Unneeded Hysterectomies, India, Indian women

Unneeded Hysterectomies Change a Woman’s Life forever

When have unneeded hysterectomies being performed ever been moral? When did the world become so full of morally bankrupt men? If you have ever had a hair up your ass about women’s reproductive rights in the world, this is the time to really get mad. We need to get full on pissed off and say no more. We are women not animals or property, we don’t belong to men. Government has no business getting between our legs. For once and for all, stay out of our vaginas!

In India, less than respectable, doctors are performing illegal and unneeded hysterectomies on the poor women of India. I don’t mean “poor” as those poor women, I mean “poor” as in financially downtrodden. I mean poor as in they don’t have the means to refuse any medical treatment offered to them by a doctor, even if the solution to his made up problem is a complete removal of their uterus and ovaries. Who are these animals to do this to women? Why are they performing unneeded hysterectomies like they are going out of style, shirking their Hippocratic oath and removing the very essence of what makes most of us feel like women? For money!

Yes, India, the country who has already received multiple throat punches from me for aborting and killing their female babies simply due to the fact that they have vaginas versus a penis. The same country who has ultrasounds strategically placed on every corner so that perspective parents can get a refund if their unborn child has not won the Indian genetics lottery which means they are a boy. The same country who has men who still think it’s okay to mutilate the genitalia of it’s women and shackle them into chastity belts. Now, the doctors are taking it upon themselves to remove the women of rural India’s wombs by giving them completely unneeded hysterectomies because the hospital can claim the hysterectomies under a national insurance scheme. Even going so far to remove the ovaries which increases the risk for early onset of osteoporosis.

 

Doctors in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh performed hysterectomies on poor village women without a valid medical reason in order to claim money from a national insurance scheme, the state’s health minister said on Wednesday.

Under the program launched in 2008, doctors can claim up to 30,000 rupees ($540) to treat poor families, providing a safety net to help pay for expensive hospital surgeries. But critics say the program was exploited by unscrupulous doctors.

“The women were deliberately ill-advised by doctors who removed their uterus to get money,” Amar Agrawal, Chhattisgarh’s health minister told Reuters.

“As per my information the doctors have so far managed to make roughly 2 crore (10 million) rupees ($360,000) in recent months by removing uteruses without any valid medical reasons.”

The state government examined 1,800 hysterectomies performed in the impoverished state as part of an investigation into the alleged scam. Many of the operations were suspected to have been performed illegally, government sources told Reuters.

Does India hate it’s women? Or is this a growing trend in the world, where men hate the female population, or at the very least have no respect for women as being human? The world is going backwards my friends. Don’t think this just happens in third world countries someplace across the world. Make no mistake, it happens right here in the United States as well. Maybe no unneeded hysterectomies are being performed as an insurance scheme, but women are under attack. Our reproductive rights are being stripped away, piece by piece and our human worth has been compared to animals. We are in a day and time in history, when women are having the male agenda shoved down our throats and thrust into our vaginas.I am sad and sickened by the state of the world and women’s rights. We need to stand up and stop allowing ourselves to be abused by the male governing powers. We need to fight back and say no more.

India’s Unneeded Hysterectomies violates Women’s Rights

Today it’s India, performing unneeded hysterectomies, purposely aborting female babies and abandoning of killing those who survive birth. Tomorrow, it’s here…women being compared to swine, government sticking their nose into our vaginal business; how we should reproduce, when we should reproduce, if we should reproduce. This is between a couple and God. Government has no fucking business in our reproductive rights. Give women our full human rights first and then we can talk about government having any input on reproductive rights.

Throat Punch to the unscrupulous doctors in India who are performing these unneeded hysterectomies for money. May their license be stripped and may they be castrated by the women whom they have reproducibly hobbled for the rest of their life.May you be put in jail and may all of your reproductive tools be removed while you sleep, unsuspectingly. May you know the pain of having no control over the choices made on your behalf.

Just because a woman is poor financially does not give any man the right to take away her choice to have children and become a mother or determine when, why or how she has the children. Men, it’s not your fucking business. We are not children, you have no right to make choices on our behalf. You have no right to punish us because you feel that our choices don’t live up to your expectations. A woman’s reproductive parts are something that we hold as dear to who we are as men do their reproductive parts. Boo on  you for thinking you know what is better for women than we do for ourselves. You have no right to end abortion or give unneeded hysterectomies for money.

 

 Unneeded Hysterectomies is a Violation of Human Rights

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