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Mommy,parenthod,motherhood

Things I wish I knew before becoming a Mommy ~ As I continue to grow older with each passing year, I gain wisdom. Wisdom that I wish I could text to my younger, hotter, thinner, dumber and less appreciative self. I wish I could have honestly told my Pre Mommy self how hard being a hands on, in the trenches Mommy would be and also how absolutely heart filling, soul lifting and empowering it could also be. Here are a few things every woman should know before becoming a Mommy.

 

Mommy,parenthod,motherhood

Being a Mommy Changes Everything

  • If you have a luxury item that you just have to have… a snazzy pair of Louboutins, a Berkin or that hot new Burberry coat…GET IT NOW! That extra money in your pocket, is never “extra”. Soon you will have to save it. You WILL need it!
  • Sleep is the most important thing in your world. Nap, often. Sleep in. Cuddle your partner. Sleep sideways. Linger in bed doing the crossword as the birds sing on a Sunday morning.
  • Enjoy the silence. Quiet will never be so quiet again. Just be. Still. Silent. Look at the sky and imagine all the endless possibilities of the world.
  • You are never going to look this good again…EVER. Never. Run naked through the streets. Stay naked. Jump on trampolines. Show your belly. Show off that derriere. Appreciate the ebb and flow of that body. You are more gorgeous than you can appreciate right now.
  • There is no such thing as perfect Mommy or even a perfect person. It doesn’t exist. Don’t even look for it. Don’t try to reach it. Just be the best version of you.The one that makes you proud to be alive and happy with your place in the world.
  • Pamper yourself. Get your hair cut, dyed, highlighted. Style your hair. Go for a massage. Pedicure. Manicure. Get that facial hair waxed and those eyebrows threaded. Put on make up. Be beautiful.Feel beautiful. You are beautiful!

Being a Good Mommy is hard work

  • Enjoy your food. Eat it slowly. Chew it. Enjoy it while it is still hot.Try new things. Savor the flavor and texture of everything that enters into your mouth.Soon your Mommy fare will be shared, luke warm food, usually leftover on a child’s plate.
  • Try everything. Have no fear. Live your life with no regrets. No one ever died wishing they had tried less or worked more.
  • Love like your heart has NEVER been broken.Dance like no one is watching. Sing at the top of your lungs.Live out loud!
  • Enjoy your solitude. You will NEVER be alone again. Take long baths. Read books.Turn the radio up as loud as you like. Watch rated R movies. Go shopping.
  • Enjoy your partner. Go on dates. Whisper sweet nothings. Linger in one another’s arms. Hold hands.Kiss long and often.Look into their eyes. Don’t rush anything. Abide within the moment together.
  • Be prepared to love someone more than you EVER though possible. Be prepared to love someone so much that it hurts. Take the love that you have for the person that you currently love most in the world, double it and then multiply that by infinity…that’s how much a Mommy loves her baby.

Mommy; the hardest job you’ll ever Love

*I originally published this piece on Moonfrye back in October but I am super sick today and I’m sure many of you did not get the chance to read it.I think every woman needs to know these things before they become a Mommy.

 

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Just perpetually doing the dishes and (random thought alert*) it occurred to me… Why does that song say ,”When you get caught between the moon and New York City”. Yes, I have been guilty of singing the lyrics to that elevator Muzak once or twice but really, what the hell does it mean? I understand stuck between a rock and a hard place because I seem to dwell there quite often. But where exactly is the space that occupies between the moon and New York city? Outer Space? Just wondering out loud, any ideas? Ok, back to resume regularly scheduled perpetual dish washing. Oh yeah, it bothered me so much that I am actually blogging on my phone from the side of the sink:) Oh how I love the advancements of technology! Happy Tuesday!

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

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This post is for my fellow Mommy bloggers. I know some of you don’t like to be pigeonholed by the term. I, myself, am pretty proud of it. I have only been writing this blog for about 2 years, but in that time I have surrounded myself with a wonderful community or women and men; mostly parents and bloggers.  I have met amazing women all over the globe. My friend and advice pool has increased exponentially. I have also learned that there is a definite pecking order in the community, as there is in any social circle. People with seniority are obviously going to know more about the field and have more experience and insight. This is nothing new. This is the way of the world.

Last night, I was checking my Twitter stream and I saw a confusing tweet about Top Tier (more seasoned) Mommy Bloggers and it linked to a post. I won’t link that post because I don’t like to give traffic to what I think is a malicious rant. I wasn’t sure if the tweet was in agreement of the post or against it. So, my interest was piqued and I had to read it for myself.The jist was that it was a complaint rant ( a whine, if you will) about how Top Tier Mommy bloggers are aloof and “take” all the opportunities and that the only reason they have the opportunities that they have is because they were here first.She went on to insinuate that the entire “community” that they inundate themselves with is nothing more than a handful of other Top Tier Mommy bloggers. The entire post felt to me like a platform to attack. Of course, it is her blog and she is entitled to say whatever she wants about whatever she wants.It’s her opinion but it really felt like sour grapes to me.

I am NOT a big name blogger, by any means. I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of Mommy bloggers.But I can say this with complete authority, these women are where they are because they are talented writers, they work hard to network, they put themselves out there with their writing and most have been working hard at this for years.YEARS!The writer of the post says that the Top Tier Mommy bloggers “worm” their way into every single internet uproar referencing the Today Moms and Babble.com. These bloggers are the authority because they’ve been doing it the longest and gotten exposure for being pioneers in the field. The Today Show and Babble go to them first because the Top Tier Mommy bloggers are the ones who have been here for the longest. FYI, I know several “new” bloggers (especially int he NYC area) who have several media opportunities. So, it’s not just about being in that elite group. You have to be available and engage in social media. You can’t sit on a Mommy blogger throne and just think you are so special that the world must come to you. We are all moms. We grow babies and share our experience, have opinions..the end. Most are not independently wealthy, they are paid in prestige. They are paid in mattresses, trips and cameras.They write because they love to write. They write to maintain their sanity.They write because they have something to say. They keep writing because we are reading. I admire them for their fortitude and ambition.It’s hard to keep working so diligently on a goal that is almost impossible to reach.Mommy blogging is about as hard as actual Mommying, with much less rewards.

I wonder if the blogger who wrote the post has even ever tried to reach out to these so called Top Tier bloggers? I have. I have networked and chit chatted with just about every single one of them via Twitter, FB, our blogs, email and various other blogging platforms. You know what? The ones I’ve interacted with are very friendly, willing to guide/mentor a new blogger, gracious and smart. They don’t shut new bloggers out. But, as a new blogger, you have to be willing to engage, introduce yourself. They don’t know you. How could they? You’ve never met. It’s common sense, just like in your real life relationships.You have to make an effort. You can’t sit on your ass and expect Mohammad to come to the mountain. Most of us are not that fucking special.In fact, no one is that fucking special. Life is about relationships. You get out what you put in.

It’s ridiculous that I have to defend these ladies for doing nothing wrong. This post I read talks about community and the TOP TIER bloggers keeping it very elite and cliquey when she herself is the one who is attacking; shutting them out. They are not writing about keeping people out. She is. I think this is more a case of sour grapes than anything else. This is where the dysfunction comes from in this community.Not from Top Tier Mommy bloggers shutting people out but from whiny bloggers giving up and looking for someone else to blame for their own shortcomings. Work hard, persist and persevere or give up and shut up. Either way, stop complaining.

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OK, so just now it came to my attention ,as I actually have 5 minutes to think, that I have not shaved my legs for 3 days because I dropped my Gillette and it shattered into a thousand little pieces.By the way,just a little secret, a Hispanic girl cannot be running around town with no razor because you know what that means…there’s a damn hairy woman on the loose! I’m not being funny. The reason I had no razor, well because I ALWAYS completely forget about what I need from the store because I am trying to remember what everyone else needs..cause I’m a Mom or I have my two little ankle biters (more like hip biters they are getting so tall) in tow.Of course, when they are with me, I am on complete autopilot to my surroundings, except where it concerns their well being. Yeah, don’t make the mistake of trying to talk to me when I’m with them.You will seriously walk away thinking,” That poor “special” Mom, all alone with those kids!”

This Mommy Brain is gonna kill someone

Anyways,so sidetracked, damn Mommy brian brain! The hairy legs got me thinking, this whole “mommy brain syndrome” it could really be dangerous, even more so than me being mistaken for a Sasquatch and being shot by a hunter. Here is a brief list of some (just some) of the things that have endangered my family and myself; washing hands while drying hair ~brushing teeth with diaper cream ~ mistaking my exfoliating mud mask for moisturizer ~ mindlessly plucking gray hairs (can you say bald spot)~ not being able to remember if you took your much needed back medicine, so taking it again( getting really relaxed and pretty useless ..woohoo)~driving while watching the kids in the rear view mirror, as if you can actually stop the cat fight that is going on between a 2 & 4 year old by sheer mind control~ leaving the house forgetting to turn off the iron, flat iron, running water~ forgetting to lock any and all doors when going on a weekend trip (shhhh, don’t tell my husband)~ going out to get the mail in your pjs..only to be locked outside by a 2 year old who doesn’t know how to unlock the door in 20 degree weather ~ same 2 year old locking you out of running car~ forgetting to put a bra on in mad dash to return movies before incurring the late fee~ forgetting to brush your teeth (sorry people)~ forgetting to stand back away from it all, breathe in, exhale and love those crazy little babies for who they are in all their nerve wrecking glory! There is so many more instances of my Mommy brain but if I told you..well, you know what I’d have to do:)

 

This Mommy Brain is gonna kill someone

Please keep an eye on all of your Mommy friends and let them know there are groups for all of us Mommies with Mommy Brain Syndrome..they are called friends and we can all use a few more and support one another through these trying and dangerous times. Please be safe and Mommy Brain responsibly.Happy Mothering!

Whew, thank God the kids are in bed…Mama needs a pometini!Rehashing all the dangers of my Mommy brain has caused me to have a thirst.

 

This Mommy Brain is gonna kill someone

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Mommy Resume, do not disturb

The Mommy Resume ~Sunday, as many of you already know, was my birthday and I can’t believe I got exactly what I asked for from the Big Guy and my girls.  You won’t believe what I asked for. What I asked for is unheard of (no I didn’t ask the Big Guy if I could be the meat in an Alexander Skarsgard/Javier Bardem sandwich… but that is a great idea for some future birthday:) Nope, I asked for the day off. Oh …yes, I did! I asked for the day off from any and all wifely and/or Mommy duties. Yes, you heard me right. I simply opened my mouth and out fell the words. No guilt. No regret. No second-guessing. We all dream of it, but who’d ever have the gall to ask for it? Me!Me!Me!!! I needed to add to my Mommy resume…takes the occasional day off. Let’s be honest, Mommy needed a break. A nap. A timeout. This got me thinking…of all the stuff I do on a daily basis that contributes to my perpetual state of overworked, underpaid and overwhelmed.

 

Mommy Resume, do not disturb

HipUndies

All that thinking made me realize how marketable I am..in the real world. Hell, in the business world and in the social media world. I am every single Mommy. And so here it is…

My Mommy Resume

  • Extreme Multi-Tasking Ninja.
  • Keen ability to function on little to no sleep, with little to no near-death experiences. 99% child survival rate.
  • Dog Ears: Ability to hear a crying child from three states away.
  • Elephant Memory: Remembers absolutely everything applicable (ever read) to children under the age of 13.
  • Eyes in the back of the head.
  • Cheetah like reflexes.
  • Ability to fashion Cheez-its, apple slices, and chicken nuggets into a gourmet meal a la The Pioneer woman meets MacGyver.
  • Ability to fashion cauliflower, flaxseed, tofu, carrots, and wheatgrass into a sneaky squirrel, yet crunchy, version of a chicken nugget.
  • Adaptability to constantly changing situations and personalities. People person who loves to engage with her clients; even if it’s over a glass of organic milk in a sippy cup (*but never Apple juice as to not kill the client! J/K) and a game of Candyland.
  • Keen ability to recall every minute detail of ever occasion that has ever transpired in the lives of each of my children but may forget whether or not I have brushed my teeth or showered. This is not deadly in any way but could be unpleasant for co-workers.( Sorry, nobody’s perfect. If you single people can forget to eat, I can forget to shower!)
  • Can be needy in a way that does not wreak of desperation, but just enough to let you know that I am hungry enough to get the job done!

Mommy Resume:Unfallable Intuition

  • Works well  best under pressure and on tight deadlines; the more the better. Bring it!
  • Can subsist on copious amounts of diet coke, wine and leftover Goldfish. (This could prove well when entertaining business clients.)
  • Can change a DVD, fill a sippy cup, wipe a baby’s butt, Heimlich a toddler, write a dissertation and phone her governor..all while shuttling children between an assortment of classes..but refuses to text while driving.
  • Technologically savvy~Is a whiz on a blue tooth and proficient at using dragon software (see previous entry). Expert in Photoshop, InDesign, excel, word, WP, Outlook, Google, Quicken, Picnik, Windows, Adobe and a plethora of other programs.
  • Social Media Mastermind~ Experienced in Twitter, FB, Aboutme, Stumbleupon, Klout and Google+ .
  • Speaks five languages: English, Spanish, French, Italian and toddler.
  • Networking Houdini~ Can talk my way into and out of just about any situation: opportunities, frat parties, play groups, PTA, Room Mother, Church activities, Tastefully Simple, Tupperware, or Purse parties, soccer, ballet, chairing boards and etc. You name it. I can get in or out of it.
  • Can chat up complete strangers and have a serious conversation about the intricacies of a code brown (AKA baby diaper blow out) and then convince the aforementioned party to purchase my brand of diapers, deodorizer, diaper genie, baby shampoo, carpet shampooer and baby detergent.
  • Can assemble a pack and play, stroller and high chair with one hand tied behind my back while chasing a toddler and mind-melding a tween.
  • Can disassemble a fort, a Barbie house and a diaper bomb in record time while planning a bake sale, hemming a uniform and playing make-believe with a 4 and 6-year-old.
  • Extreme negotiating skills~ Can talk a PMSing teenager off a ledge, a 1-year-old out of a tantrum on the spot and a husband into picking up his socks, and putting a new roll of toilet paper on the hanger.
  • Educated in several schools of higher learning; Purdue University, the University of North Carolina and Eastern Tennessee State University but has acquired the most valuable life education through on the job training.
  • Most over-educated housewife in the universe. (I could tell you my areas of expertise but then I;d have to dispose of you. Let’s just say covert operations are my specialty.)Can throw an elegant, mentally stimulating dinner party on a budget of $25 that would impress Emily Post and the Queen Mum. This has been proven several times over (refer to Pioneer woman meets MacGyver statement above).
  • Stable, reliable, dedicated and hardworking.
  • Can leap tall buildings in single bound.
  • Can lift cars off of a trapped newborn.
  • Does it all with style, grace and while not tangling herself in her cape ( OK, the last parts a lie but you get the picture).

What would you add as a skill to your Mommy Resume? I’d love to hear all the skills you’ve acquired through your tenure as a Mommy.

P.S. By the way, thank you all so much for all of the sweet birthday wishes. You made my day. I didn’t hit my 1000 GFC goal but I’ll get there eventually. Meanwhile, I love the readers I have. You, are by far, some of the most intelligent, opinionated, strong and entertaining people that I have the pleasure of “knowing” and I love that I get to include you in my community and that we can share our journey as Mothers with one another! XO We should all add awesome friend to our Mommy Resume.

My Mommy Resume Qualifies Me to be the Benevolent Ruler of the World

 

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Mommy Bloggers of the world unite, mommy,blogger, blogging social media, brands

Call to action: Mommy Bloggers of the world Unite.

I have the greatest job in the world. I am a Mommy. On top of that, I am a Mommy Blogger; triple bonus. I adore my life on most days. I can’t even tell you how much I love combining two of my greatest passions in the world.  But there is only one problem, financially speaking, being a Mommy blogger is almost as thankless and unpaid a job as mothering. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE doing both (on most days) but thus far it seems there is a lot of assumption that I owe people something.

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Mommy Bloggers of teh World Unite, bloggers, mommy, social media, blogging

Photo courtesy of Google image/ Photographer name not available

I love being a Mommy and parenting. I may not be paid in money but I am certainly compensated in hugs and kisses, “I love you”s, pride and joy. There is something about giving and receiving unconditional love that transcends any monetary value. It is truly priceless. So, really, parenting may be some of the hardest work that I’ve ever done but it is not without its reward. It has changed me in ways that I could not have ever fathomed and it has made me a better person in the world. Truly.

Being a Mommy blogger, I really enjoy meeting new people and connecting via social media. Seriously, these connections have saved my life on many occasions. Being able to share my journey of motherhood through blogging has been a dream come true in many ways. Many of the Mommy Bloggers that I know are quite frankly brilliant. These women know the ins and outs of social media, can light up Twitter like a Christmas tree, get a cause out on Facebook in lightening speed and blog change better than any so-called professional. It’s because we have learned by hands on experience. We are living social media. For so long, moms have needed a connection to the outside world while being home all day with little people. You can’t teach the social media savvy we have. It comes from experience and a place of authentic enthusiasm. We love what we do and we are good at it. We are influential through our connections via our loyal blog communities, our Facebook friends, Twitter followers and all the other social media outlets we allow ourselves to become productive members of on a daily basis.

Mommy Bloggers of the World Unite

My issue is that for some reason, many brands think that we should work for free. It’s insulting! I have been approached to write dissertations in exchange for lip-gloss, spread drug propaganda for FREE and plaster my sidebar with widgets in exchange for dildos. What am I? A whore? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for supporting a brand that I love. Hell, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Why wouldn’t I spread it like wildfire if I had the world’s best camera or tried the universe’s best weight loss program? I’m not greedy. I want to share the good news with my friends, family and readers.

But if I take the time and effort to truly experience your product/brand and write an honest product review don’t I deserve to be paid in actual money? Seriously, you are not my children so you can’t pay me in hugs, kisses and ‘I love you’s. You will never compensate me in pride or grandchildren. No thank you on the dildos, lip-gloss and the toilet paper, for that matter. And if one more person asks me to write a post for coupons I may reach through the computer and across the Internet and choke someone out. If I do it for free that’s called a favor and I’m pretty sure that we are not friends, so what would motivate me to write about your product for free? Would you ask your doctor to operate on you, as a favor? Would you ask the waiter to let you have your food gratis, as a favor? Would you ask your dentist to do your root canal, as a favor? No. Hell no, you wouldn’t and you’d feel stupid for even considering asking it. But why is it OK for you to ask me to spend my time, my effort and my skill doing you a favor? Bloggers are people too. We deserve to be paid for our skill, for our marketing capabilities and for our reach. Because remember, we have something just money can’t buy..loyal readers, earned trust and WE CAN BLOG IT with integrity.

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Mommy Bloggers of the world unite, mommy,blogger, blogging social media, brands

Image of Rosie the Blogger, © Michael Licht

So, fellow Mommy Bloggers please stand united with me and demand that you be compensated for your time, your effort and your skill. Let the world know that we may be cheap but we are not easy and we’re certainly not free. Every moment a Mommy blogger spends writing about your brand is a moment we are sacrificing with our children and that time is precious and should be compensated accordingly. (*Thank you Lauren for reminding me of that important point.)

Mommy Bloggers of the World Unite

Button can be found under the “buttons” tab  at the top of page.

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The other day I had my ultimate Mommy Moment thus far in my life as a Mommy. We all think our A-Ha Mommy moment hits sometime in those first few seconds of exhausted bliss after birth. We spend hours in labor, we are ready to be a Mommy.The baby finally makes its way into the world and they place him/her on our chest all ooey and gooey and we fall in love. Deep, breathtaking love. We are a Mommy.That’s it, end of story. That’s when we know we have arrived,right?

WRONG! Oh so wrong. I did fall into deep, breathtaking love with each of my girls at the moment they came into the world.Hell, let’s be honest I loved them before they were born.It’s just the way I am built. Not everyone does and that’s OK. I mean, its sort of a shock the way they are thrust into our lives, really. But even with all that giant love oozing out of my heart, not a Mommy Moment does that make. Of course if you have a child you are a mother but what really changed about you, the person? Everything and nothing,all at the same time.It’s not a magic wand that instantaneously makes you a “Mommy” There is no apprenticeship, there is no internship, there is no class that immerses you in the reality of a colicky baby, a dirty house, an exhausted brain, and an equally exhausted body. Even if there was a book that told us the honest to God truth, we’d never believe it. The reality is too spectacular. It’s one of those things you have to live through, like war, death, and your own birth. On the job training is the only way to experience it.

So, back to the Mommy Moment,the exact moment that you KNEW you had evolved from your old self into a Mommy. Was it the moment you conceived? The moment you locked eyes with your newborn? The first time they smiled at you? The first time they called out Mommy and you realized you were the one they were calling out to? The first time you had to stay awake all night checking a sick child’s temperature and didn’t mind? The first time you had to soothe tears and hold your baby so tightly to protect them from the pain of the world? Maybe it was the first time you caught a glimpse of your child’s face and you saw yourself in them? Perhaps, it was the moment that you realized that a world without them would be one in which you would not want to live? Maybe the moment that you realized they hold your entire heart in their tiny little hands? Maybe it was the moment that you had to issue a punishment or say no to them, even though you wanted to just give them everything their heart desired? Was it the moment that you realized that you needed to be there to pick up the pieces when life had let them down? Maybe it was the second that you realized you were capable of murdering any person large or small who directly or indirectly hurt your child, physically, emotionally, on purpose or accidentally?Was it the moment that you realized that seeing the world through their eyes was better than through your own.Possibly the moment that you realized they were your everything and you wouldn’t have it any other way? Or maybe the moment that you realized that  their happiness was more important to you than your own? The moment that you realized how selfless you had become and it didn’t feel like a sacrifice or burden.When did you know in your heart, in your soul, that you were a MOMMY?

For me, I’ve experienced all the  moments from the previous paragraph and hundreds ( maybe thousands) more in the last 5 years. But how I knew I had really become a Mommy.The realization that I had changed and it was about more than breastfeeding, nap times, yoga pants, ponytails, exhaustion and Mommy brain came when I was out with friends on my birthday last month. I was miles away from my children, for the first time ever.I was having a complete blast being  “me”.I wasn’t obsessing over my girls who were at home with their Grandma, eating chocolate and going to parks, zoos, pretty much anything their hearts desired but they were still with me. Unbeknown to me.But it sneaked out like a silent ninja, that Mommy moment of mine.

Right there on the dance floor at a hip city club, I was surrounded by enthusiastic dancing 20 something year olds.You know, like who I was before I had children. Everybody was dancing and the music was bumping.I was with my sister and my best friend dancing,  just happy to be out. You know the feeling. It was like someone let the crazies out of the asylum for the night. Then it happened, two girls, probably in their early twenties were enthusiastically jumping around on the dance floor and they kept bumping into me. I ignored them at first, after all, they were only trying to have fun on a super crowded dance floor.They had no idea what a momentous occasion this was for me. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and it happened. I found myself, whipping around, bending down to make eye contact, pointing with my index finger, and using my seriously stern voice to utter these shameful words, “HEY! You girls better be careful. You are going to knock me down and someone’s going to get hurt!”Then I stood straight up and they both, shocked, looked at me and said “Yes, Ma’am!” Then I realized what I had just done. I went Mommy crazy all over their asses. Then I heard them,like my children, giggling behind me. Probably because they couldn’t believe what had just transpired.Had I really just scolded them all Nanny style at Nacional 27 on a Saturday night in the middle of the dance floor. I don’t blame them.As I heard them giggle, it made me chuckle because 10 years prior it would have been a completely different scenario. I would have turned around, pushed them off me and said something more like,”Watch it, Bitch! ” But not tonight, tonight I was a Mommy and I know that it is not something that I do. It is something that I am at my very core, even when my girls are not by my side; they are always with me in my heart, my thoughts, and ( apparently) my actions. Happy Mothering!

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It’s been awhile since I’ve posted any of my truisms so I may have went overboard. Of course, they are all true and we all need to know that we are not alone in this crazy ride we call Motherhood. So, hang on to your cute little crocheted hats ladies…it’s going to be an exciting and bumpy ride!Happy Mothering!

  • No matter how much you spin, Turbo Jam,  or Zumba your body will never go back exactly the way it was before babies. It may be just as good but it is changed forever.
  • If you’ve given birth, you WILL pee just a little if you sneeze or laugh too hard. Expect it. If you don’t like it…Kegel it and/or get yourself some Mommy type pantie liners.You can not prevent this from happening, no more than you can prevent your stomach getting large when pregnant.
  • Once you have a child, you will NEVER get enough sleep again…ever..for the rest of your life!
  • Children can live on cheeze-its, string cheese and apples alone. I call it the connoisseur in training program. Add some grape juice to that combo and you are raising a child with a discerning palette.
  • Stretch marks are not sexy…to anybody.Anybody who tells you they are is either a) a liar b) a liar or c) really desperate for sex and totally in love with you for giving birth to their big headed child:)
  • If you ask your child a question and they a)smile…just a little bit ( more of a grin really) b)look away and say “I don’t know” or “No” c) if they blush even the slightest whilst avoiding eye contact and  grinning; they are lying to you.
  • Kids can be unintentionally cruel because half the time they know not the meaning of the words they are using, so always remember to take any insults they hurl at you with a grain salt.I realize it still hurts your heart but they DON’T mean it! If they did, I would have already thrown myself in the river as many times as my 3 year old has told me “Mommy, me hate you!”, today alone.
  • There is NOTHING, absolutely nothing, in the entire world that is sweeter than a two little arms hugging your neck and telling you “Mommy, you are the best Mommy in the whole wide world!”Of course, their world usually only includes your house…but hey, its nice to be queen:)
  • NEVER underestimate the power of a good Mommy friend, no Mommy is an island. You need her more than you know. When you find a real one, put yourself into her loving hands. She could possibly save your life.
  • When your little girl has her first crush and the little boy’s Mom informs you that they will be attending the Nutcracker solely to see your daughter perform ( because the little boy has demanded it) try not to flash forward to her wedding and tear up.They really do grow up too fast, don’t relinquish one moment of their childhood..in your head or otherwise.
  • Some days, you may feel isolated, overwhelmed, exhausted and like you have completely lost your mind..you probably have but take solace in the fact that there are many more of us out there like you than you think or could possibly know.
  • There will be a time in your Mommy life when you are on the fence whether you want another baby or not, when that happens and your ovaries start twitching and your uterus begging for a tenant, take a minute and think it over honestly. Remember, all the long sleepless nights, breastfeeding issues, explosive diarrhea diapers and then ask yourself… do I still want to go through that again?If the answer is yes or I don’t mind…Go for it!  ( well, after consulting your spouse of course:)
  • There is nothing more cute than a 5 year old and a 3 year old in their new dresses at a tea party, and nothing as lovely as the excitement and wonderment in their eyes when they watch the Nutcracker ( or anything to do with Christmas for that matter) ballet for the first time.
  • As a mother, sometimes you will have to say, do things, be friends with people you don’t like for your children’s best interest..learn it, live it, love it!
  • It is your right as the Mommy to refuse to let your child go on a field trip that has no chaperones, two teachers and 47 kids.Do not buckle under peer pressure. It’s your child; it’s your decision..final answer!
  • In all things concerning your child’s well being, trust your gut.It’ s not just there for show, its there for a reason.
  • There is something unresistably precious about a half asleep baby stumbling out of bed and climbing up into your life( Freudian slip) lap and cuddling (even if it is 10:30 and you’re trying to write a post) let them. Savor the moment. Kiss the top of their head and bask in their cuddles.Soon, they will outgrow your lap.
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How to exude confidence and be a priority in your own life.The following post was written over a year ago, when I needed a little self confidence boost and reminder to be a priority in my own life and all my relationships. I dug it out to remind myself how it feels to have confidence in your body, health, relationships and love. I think many of us can use this post to lift us up and remind us of who we are, even when we don’t feel like it.

Bringing the Feisty Broad back

I am a Mommy, first and foremost. It’s a fact of my life. I love it. I chose it. This is not something that I got trapped into, this was something that I intentionally chose, in fact, it was one of my loftiest aspirations. I used to be a daughter and sister, then a wife, then a Mommy. Somewhere in there, for a brief fleeting moment, I got to be “Debi”. I remember that girl, I liked her. She was a lot like me but had absolutely no real ramifications for her behavior. Awww, sweet freedom. I do miss you. It was awesome. It was pre filter on the mouth and brain for child security reasons, yet, post the imposed filter of my personal freedoms by my Father.It was wonderful; it was euphoric. I was selfish, care free, and completely oblivious to the wants and needs of others. I know it sounds perfectly awful. I always did exactly what “I” wanted to do, with no care or concern for anyone else. I know it sounds terribly vain and narcissistic, perhaps it was, but it was fabulous..for that time in my life…all 15 minutes of it. I was the priority. These days, I am “Mommy”, “Honey”, “Mama” ,”You”, “Mother”, “Mrs. Big Guy” ( now, Truthful Mommy) but hardly anyone ever calls me “Debi” anymore.I feel as if I have disappeared figuratively and literally. But for someone who is invisible, I certainly do stay busy. How can this be? It is absolutely mind boggling to me but I am fairly certain that I am not alone in this situation. Can I get an amen from my Mommies out there? I KNOW you know what I’m talking about.

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self esteem, confidence, priority

Photo courtesy of the internet

 

I go through life, these days, busier than ever before yet feeling like I really never accomplish anything in my days. Every night, I am thoroughly exhausted ( believe me..just ask the Big Guy)but usually I can’t sleep.Every morning, I am still so tired because I was up the previous night until 2 am thinking of all the “Stuff” I have to do the next day. No fair, right? Last year ( 2 years ago now), I made a conscious decision that 2009 was going to be the year of “Debi”. I had my mind made up, I was planning to plan to revive that feisty broad.It’s pretty bad when you are telling your husband something about yourself before he met you and he is looking at you like you are full of shit because the “you” he knows, would never do something like that.I was determined, I was making a comeback in my own life. That was my plan! Then, real life and minutia got in my way. So, around September ( my birthday to be exact) I put my foot down and started getting to it…for like the 100th time since I had realized that I wanted to change some things.

This time it was different though. This time, I made real efforts. I joined Weight Watchers ( yes, to my initial utter embarrassment. I had so convinced myself that I was not “that” fat but I was, in fact, “that” fat and let me tell you..admitting it was the first real step towards fixing it !) , I started walking and working out and making a genuine effort..and didn’t quit or make up excuses after I got bored with it. This time I approached it like an adult. I also joined some Mom’s groups that stress being a woman and not just a “Mommy”, I made new friends ( I had to we had just moved half way across the country from absolutely everyone we knew), I got a babysitter ( a first for my children aside from the very occasional grandparent) and I forced myself to go out without my children. At my husbands insistence, I even made it out to a few MNO! Life was turning around. People were calling me “Deborah” , granted it wasn’t Debi but hey, a more adult version of myself is a good thing, right? Then the holiday’s hit. We traveled and it was one thing after another. So, here we are at the beginning of 2010 ( 2011 now). I am still forging on to revive myself. I am the priority in my life now, well…I am one of the top 3, for sure. I am a work in progress, but that is ok. As long as I am on my own to do list, there is hope for “Debi”

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self confidence, woman, self esteem, priority

Photo courtest of Google image

My point being, with a little real concerted effort, I am 25 lbs. smaller than I was in September, I have made some wonderful new friends, and I am feeling more like the starring role in my own Cinderella story versus the cat that belonged to the ugly stepsisters. I feel like by getting back to “Debi” and introducing that intelligent,beautiful, healthy, cultured, well read, strong woman to my girls that I am not only regaining my independence, my very existence… I am showing them ,by living example, that they are important and vital to their own life story.That no matter who they are, what they think, what they look like, what they choose to be or do in their lives, they must be present and they must be content with the versions of themselves who are present because they are imperative to their own happiness and nothing is more important than feeling like you matter and being fulfilled with who you are in your own life. Who I am is a direct reflection on who my daughters will someday become. I want them to know they can have the world and that they deserve it all and so does Mommy. I want to teach them how to exude confidence and be a priority in their own life. I want to have it all and I want them to know they can too. The paddles are out, Clear…..

Obviously, life derailed me again with yet another move and the whole commuter arrangement but this piece reminds me of two things one; I am SO WORTH the EFFORT and two; I am NOT a QUITTER. I persist and I work hard and then I conquer. I am woman hear me roar. How do you exude confidence and stay a priority in your own life?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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