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If We Do Not Recognize, We Cannot Heal

by Deborah Cruz 2016/11/17

I’ve been having the most hopeless feeling since the election results came in. I’m in a state of profound mourning. I am grieving a loss, not of an election but an immeasurable loss of the promise of a better tomorrow. I’m trying to pull myself out from under the rubble of the darkness that is my collapsed hope and faith in humanity.

This is a scary situation to anyone who understands the gravity of it. It isn’t like during a normal election when both candidates are somewhat qualified and then we go from there. Donald Trump is just not qualified for the position. Money can’t buy you experience or expertise. He doesn’t have a clue how the system works and it’s to his and our detriment. This has nothing to do whether we like the man as a human being or not, he is simply not qualified and I can’t believe people chose to totally overlook that fact when voting. It amazes me.

It’s been a week but I can still barely bring myself to speak outside of my bubble inside my house, the one that knows my plight and my heart. I’ve only felt this vulnerable on one other occasion when I miscarried my third pregnancy and all the possibilities were stolen from me by nature. But this election wasn’t the result of a cruel twist of nature. It wasn’t beyond our control it was chosen by people who either refuse to know what terrible they’ve done, don’t believe it is as terrible as we say because it doesn’t affect them directly or worse, those who prefer to go backwards than to live in the light of a new world of endless possibilities built on hope and equality.

I’m exhausted and weary. I can barely muster the strength to defend my fight. The fight that I’ve fought all of my life but I will. I can already feel my senses creeping back in. My heart has been singing a lullaby of Make me an instrument of Your Peace and I’ve decided to have peace, I must fight, educate and not yell; though I want to scream at the top of my lungs in the face of this miscarriage of hope. But no one hears what you’re saying when you yell. They only hear the anger and the words fall on deaf ears. I need my words to be heard. We need to fight harder than ever but we need to take the high road.

Last week’s election has opened my eyes in a way that I didn’t even know that they needed to be opened. I know I’m marginalized. I face it every day as a woman and as a Latina. I’ve had to fight to be seen and heard for who I was since I was old enough to realize that I was only being seen for what I was.

Friends, I get that many of us are disheartened and feeling hopeless about the Trump win and subsequent appointment of Bannon. Some of us fought really hard over the last few months to get Hillary Clinton elected. Some of us have been fighting our entire lives to make America equal. It was so much more than just a hashtag for us. It was a movement and a promise of a better way of life; an easier life. A life where we were not judged on the color of our skin, our religion, our sex or sexual preference but measured by our merit as people. What a beautiful dream it was.

I feel your sadness, your frustration, and your anger. It is natural to want to strike out when faced with such dismal prospects but this fervor to right all the wrongs, I wish it would have shown up before the election. But the PC veil has been torn down and now, none of us can unsee the hatred that is staring us directly in the face and screaming slurs at us.

The most frightening thing for women, disabled Americans, minorities, people of the Jewish faith, Muslims and people in the LGBTQ community is that Trump built his campaign by promising those alt-right “Make America White again” people that he’d let them have that and they are coming to collect. They took it as permission to hate out loud. I’m not even sure if he believed all the stuff he said but he has opened a can of worms that he can’t close and the fallout has already begun all over the country.

People are going to get hurt and those of us who are marginalized are going to suffer the worst. His rhetoric and this campaign have set our country back 100 years. I just hope we can survive it without a civil war that destroys us altogether.

I don’t have an answer as to how we get through this. I feel like so many of us are in jeopardy and danger under this new regime. I won’t lie, I’m in fear for the safety of our country from threats abroad and within. I’m mad that someone who had no qualifications and no experience and ran on a platform of crazy and hatred is what so many American’s craved in a leader, so much so that they ignored his lack of being able to actually get the job done.

I’m all for making an informed decision and choosing a candidate whose ideology lines up closest to your own. I believe in the right to choose whoever fits best for the America you want. That being said, I completely hold accountable those who put their blinders on to convince themselves that their own welfare outweighed that of the nation. They may not have all voted with hatred in their heart but there certainly was no compassion or care for those of us who would be affected directly by this outcome.

I want to believe that voters didn’t do enough research into Trump as a candidate and didn’t fully realize the ramifications of giving him the presidency. None of us will survive this term unscathed. Our country, our very way of life, will be changed for the worse.

Peacefully protesting to let the world know that Donald Trump is #NotMyPresident is a great way to show that we don’t support the Trump presidency but unfortunately, he is our president and we are vulnerable because of it. Contacting your representatives to make your voices heard is a step in letting them know that you hold them accountable, even though realistically it probably won’t change anything this election. Crossing your fingers and hoping that Hillary Clinton gets the presidency because of rogue electoral votes is probably not going to happen. We need to face that reality.

We need to have a new plan. Shit didn’t turn out the way we hoped or planned but seldom do they. The marginalized of us are used to disappointment. We’ve been training for this outcome our entire lives but we hoped for better. Our fatal mistake was believing we’d won the race before we actually had. We got complacent.

We have to change our plan of action. We don’t have Hillary to help us. We need to be stronger, fiercer, fight harder and never give up. We need to work for good, to defend our rights. We have to fight tooth and nail to protect our children from the fallout. And make no mistake, this presidency is not just bad for those of us who identify as marginalized. Sure, it may seem that way at the onset but it’s bad for all Americans because a country guided by a leader who has no clear direction of how to get where he’s going is a vulnerable country that will find itself in turmoil.

I ask that you all educate yourselves, your friends and your children (anyone who will listen) on our political system and the election process and government in general so that in the next election, in 2 years, good people can make good, informed decisions. This is the beginning of our revolution. History is happening right now.

We can’t let this stand but we have to use our words. We have to make them listen. We have to organize and mobilize. We have to use our minds and our voices. We have to get our shit together and stop crying and start doing and that is where I am this morning.

2016/11/17 5 comments

racism, racism at school, students, Donald Trump

What to do When Racism Happens to Your Child at School

by Deborah Cruz 2016/10/03

written by Deborah Cruz

What do you do when your child comes home from school and tells you about all the blatant racism she experienced at school that day? Racism is nothing new but I’ve never had it directed so closely at my children. Wait, let me clarify, no one called my daughter a “Beaner”, “Wetback” or “Spic”; none of the common slurs you get when you are a little Mexican kid. No, my daughters, like myself, are very fair skinned and they actually look more Nordic than South American. They have blondish hair and blue eyes. Nothing about them screams, “I am Mexican hear me roar.” But they will tell you, in no uncertain terms, “Yo soy Mexicana, escuchame…..ROAR!!!!”

The thing is when you look Caucasian, people don’t worry about what they say around you. They think that you shouldn’t be offended because when they are insulting your culture and your race, they are not actually insulting “YOU” because to them, you are different (you get a pass) because you look the same as them. Let me tell you what, that’s even worse. Casual racism where you tell me that I shouldn’t be offended because you weren’t referring to “my kind of Mexican” is beyond insulting. People always expect Latinos to be “more Latino” or, in my case, more obviously Latino.

I’ve experienced this kind of attitude my entire life due to my white skin. My mom is Caucasian, so technically I am half European Caucasian (with a twist of Cherokee) but I am also half Mexican. And, as anyone of color will tell you because we know this firsthand, if you are brown or black in any amount, to most Caucasians, you are “other” because you’re not 100% Caucasian so I’ve always just embraced it. I refuse to deny who I am, where I come from or the fact that on my dad’s side, I am first generation Mexican-American. That makes my daughters with their alabaster skin, blue eyes and blonde hair, second generation Mexican-American. We are proud of this, as we should be but then, every once in a while, especially in today’s politically charged, infused with extra hatred and bigotry environment, we are slapped across the face with the feeling of others trying to make us feel small and less than. Yes, even today in 2016.

racism, racism at school, students, Donald Trump

Not to bring Donald Trump into this but honestly, he has broken the dam of the shame of racism that most polite societies had been adhering to. He has come in like a hurricane and ripped all politically correct walls down and made it not only acceptable but in some cases even applaudable to be prejudiced. Racism, xenophobia, and bigotry are running rampant under the guise of national pride and patriotism. I’m here to tell you that it’s not acceptable and never will be. It’s still just as disgusting as it ever was and now that the Trump trickle-down effect has directly involved my children, we have a problem and I’m ready to fight.

Which brings me to a couple recent situations that happened to my daughters at school recently. I’m pretty tolerant. I know that children sometimes regurgitate things they’ve heard at home without knowing what it really means. I also am painfully aware that hatred is taught not born. My girls know this as well and they readily afford their fellow students the benefit of the doubt but when they hear a prejudiced joke or comment made they also readily volunteer the information that they are Mexican and that those particular comments are offensive to them. In my house, we always think to ourselves, what would we allow someone to say to Grandpa Manny? If it would hurt him, it hurts us.

Last Wednesday, my daughter came home from a field trip, that my husband attended with her, and told me that the other kids in our car were telling her and one another that they were “voting for Donald Trump” and “Hillary Clinton wants to kill babies.” They went on to say that they wanted Trump to win so he could build a wall and “keep the Mexicans out!” Before my husband had the chance to say a word, my 9-year-old informed the children, “You know that I’m a girl and I’m Mexican.” (My 9-year-old doesn’t understand why anyone would vote for a racist misogynist, especially other women.) To which the kids answered, “Well, I knew you were a girl but I didn’t know you were MEXICAN!” My daughter’s answer, “Well, now you do.”

I don’t know about you but I find it very disturbing that parents are at home telling their kids that Hillary Clinton wants to kill babies and I’m personally offended that these children want to keep Mexicans out like we are some kind of criminal, lower life forms. It also disturbs me that my children are surrounded by such blatant racist every day.

On Friday, my daughter jumped in the car at pick-up and told me another disturbing tale of fourth-grade racism.

A group of children was talking and said that they hope Trump wins so he can keep the Mexicans out because they (Meaning Mexicans) are part of ISIS and the part of the reason the Twin Towers were attacked. What? Has the world gone mad?

racism, racism at school, students, Donald Trump, Ann Coulter

Take a moment to soak that last statement in. Does it disturb you to your core too? Because the sheer magnitude of the ignorance of that statement frightened me. If these children think Mexicans are terrorists couldn’t that prejudice them against the Latino children at the school? I know there is only a handful of but still. My point is this, the entire discussion was inappropriate and factually incorrect. Mexicans are not Islamic terrorists. All Muslims are not terrorists. And it was Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden who were responsible for the twin towers and 9/11, not the Mexicans; not a race or a culture but a group of terrorist extremist. Why are these parents teaching their children to hate people who don’t look, act, and talk exactly like they do?

Apparently, these children have confused Mexicans and Islamic terrorists. I know the skin tones can be a little confusing if you are not exposed to a diverse group of people but either way, these children are regurgitating racism and xenophobia; neither of which I feel are appropriate or should be tolerated in life and certainly not at the school.

I’m not normally one to email the school with every single infraction or indiscretion. I am an active parent volunteer at the school and I support their mission, that’s why I enrolled my daughters in the school, but this kind of behavior cannot stand. I had to say something. There has to be a zero-tolerance policy for this sort of behavior. These situations warrant a discussion with the children and they need to know in no uncertain terms that prejudice and hatred are not okay on any level. We need to teach the children tolerance and acceptance of differences, not persecution and prejudice.

This election has given people a false belief that it is their right to be judgmental and a false sense of justification in racial profiling and it’s become uncomfortable on a very personal and basic level. I don’t want my daughters thinking there is something fundamentally wrong with being Latino nor do I want them to feel ashamed or like they are being judged or put in danger simply for being born with Latino blood in their body.

I realize that my daughters look Caucasian and may not experience blatant racism as frequently as some other children who have more obvious Latino features but it is sometimes just as uncomfortable being the whitest Mexican in the room, especially when racist comments are being thrown around and you know all the people that you love most in the world are being denigrated. I don’t want my children feeling ashamed of who they are because other children are being taught racism and hatred at home.

I don’t know about you but I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to myself but if you insult or injure my children, you will have me to contend with and I won’t let it go because it is my job to protect my children. If that means I have to hurt someone’s feeling by pointing out that their bad behavior will not be tolerated, then so be it.

What would you have done if your child was experiencing racism at school?

2016/10/03 1 comment

Bad parenting, Cincinnati Zoo, cincinnati zoo gorilla, Donald trump, MIchelle Gregg, racism, Racists, Trump Supporters

News Throat Punch Thursday

Dead Gorilla Proves Racists Love to Hate

by Deborah Cruz 2016/06/03

written by Deborah Cruz

The crazy people of the internet went from a polarizing hatred toward me over the Cincinnati zoo gorilla and my opinion of Michelle Gregg to straight up racists this week. People were commenting on everything from the fact that Michelle Gregg was African American to tossing around racists stereotypes like it was their job. I was appalled.

The thing is I wrote a knee-jerk post in a moment of anger. I’m an emotional writer who lacks a filter. I got more facts and apologized for being so judgmental. Then something unexpected and crazy happened, all the “Trump people” found their way to my blog and turned a horrible mistake into a venue for racist rants. This shocked me because, I have no idea what the race of a mother, or the criminal history of the child’s father has to do with their ability to parent or whether or not they love their children. What shocked me the most is that suddenly a parenting issue became about race.

Whether you buy your food with cash or on an EBT card, aren’t you still feeding your children? Since when is it a crime to be a little less financially fortunate? And just because a person made some mistakes that landed them in hot water with the penal system, does that mean they are incapable of loving their children? I don’t think so.

I’ve learned this week that the world is full of hateful, narrow-minded people that will use any excuse to spread their hateful agenda. Small people like to hurt people at their lowest moments and kick them hard when they are already feeling down.

I thought the worst had happened when I received close to 400 comments on my post telling me what a sanctimommy I was after I wrote the post about the mom who I held responsible for it all. The internet was not happy with me.

I was being judged presumptuously by the blog title alone (obviously, no one read it or most would have realized that I shared many of their opinions on the situation.) I was called every terrible name imaginable, told to come down off of my high horse, facetiously called “Super Mom”, “perfect Mother” and a proper “C*NT” (not so facetiously but quite literally) more times than I can even count.

Yes, she may have been responsible for not paying enough attention to her little guy for a few moments/minutes but then again maybe the enclosure should have been better child proofed/ less dangerous and maybe, just maybe, it was all just a horrible accident that could have happened to any one of us and has, to some degree. I think that’s where all the anger originated from.

People, parents especially, were identifying with this mom, empathizing and remembering a time when their child slipped away out of their gaze, even for a moment. It terrified them because any one of us could have ended up in this exact situation or something similar. It just so happened that I was the cold-hearted bitch making them all feel like mom failures. Which was never my intention. Then I wrote an apology for being hasty. That’s when the internet lost its f*cking mind for real.

The Racists came Out in Full attack mode.

Look I can take it if you want to attack me for my unpopular opinion. It was judgy and had a very polarizing opinion. What I don’t get was why when I published the second post, the one apologizing, I got just as much hate mail. All the people who apparently supported my original post but dared not voice their support suddenly sounded off and they were outraged. All I could think was, “Where were these people yesterday when I was being crucified by the internet?”

Honestly, I don’t think anyone read either post. I think everyone just read the title and formed their opinions of me. Talk about judging a book by its cover. Hell, it could have been the exact same post, just with a different title. In fact, it may have been. I’m never telling. You’ll just have to read for yourself and find out.

But then, something even more unbelievable happened, what was about a mom and her parenting skills or lack thereof suddenly became about race. I don’t know what one has to do with the other but all of the sudden the comments on the FB share became very dark. People started attacking this woman for her race, which has absolutely nothing to do with her parenting skills.

I won’t repeat what these racists were saying because low”>I’m not a racist myself but you can go see them for yourself and be disgusted here.

One commenter accused me of having “white guilt”. Firstly, I’m Latina. Secondly, I wrote the post before I ever saw a picture of Michelle Gregg. Thirdly, I grew up in a very urban neighborhood, my entire neighborhood was African American and so are some of my favorite people. Who’s jumping to conclusions now?

Anyways, who knew that a little boy falling into a gorilla enclosure could bring out all of the “Trump supporters” to this mom? Honestly, this is just a symptom of what our country is becoming since Donald Trumpp has been campaigning for president. People now think it’s okay to be openly racists. It’s bad enough if you have that hatred in your heart but it’s quite something else when you decide you are free to shout it out into the world, not caring how those words affect others. It’s as if they are proud to be racists.

People no longer feel ashamed or fear consequences of this kind of despicable behavior. This simultaneously sickens and terrifies me. Somehow this election season has brought out all the worst in people of our country and made people believe it’s acceptable to wave their racists flags high. Have you seen the Purge? I feel like lynchings could be making a comeback if Donald Trump gets into the oval office.

I don’t usually delete comments on my blog because I am a big girl and when I put my opinions online, I’m open to debate. I don’t expect everyone in the world to agree with me. Hell, we can even be friends if we have opposing views, as long as we respectfully agree to disagree but if you are leaving racists remarks on the blog, they will be deleted because I won’t be used as a venue for you to hurt other readers with your small minds and mean words. Bottom line is that if you are a racist or a bigot, we can’t be friends so just unfollow me now. Stop reading.

And to the “friend” who decided that after 3 days of being hated by the internet, she’d take her turn and kick me while I was already down. Bye Felicia! There’s no place in my world for fake friends. I’m grown. Life’s too short for shitty friends.

If you heard someone being a racist in person ( or online) would you speak up or would you be silent for fear of backlash?

What would you really do if you heard/saw racists spewing hate towards someone else?

2016/06/03 0 comment

NLF,Donald Trump, Take a Knee, #TakeAKnee, Equality, lives matter

Entertainment Politics

Can Everyone Please Just Shut Up and Take a Knee

by Deborah Cruz 2017/09/30

written by Deborah Cruz

I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to say about this NFL take a knee situation and Donald Trump’s condemnation of it. I can’t believe how divided the country has become over the NFL taking a knee. Are we really so collectively ignorant that we don’t understand what it’s about? I mean what is so controversial about taking a knee in silent protest of the divisive racism that plagues our nation currently, always if we’re being honest, only more openly these days?

I say shut up and take a knee. In my world, it is the only thing to do. Unless you want to stand up and throat punch racists, bigots and misogynists all day long like some kind of throat punching righter of wrongs superhero. I suspect it would be a full-time job, especially in Trump’s America.

Let’s get some facts straight:

In the United States, we have the right to peaceful protest.
Nowhere in the constitution does it demand that we stand for the National Anthem and wouldn’t we be hypocrites if we did stand to respectfully salute a country that only protects and respects some of us. This is no reflection of our military, I am referring to the laws in this country that allows us to treat some people as less than.
We are “the people” of “we the people” and we have every right to demand that equality.
You can take a knee and 1000% support our military. The National Anthem is not a homage we pay to our service men before every national sporting event.
Donald Trump picked a fight because he is a bully and that’s what he does. Apparently, his social feeds were lacking in drama so he created some.

To me, this entire controversy is stupid because we should all be taking a knee to demand equality for all Americans. If you are standing, either you don’t understand why the knee is being taken or you are part of the problem. I honestly think every person in the United States who believes in equality should take a knee. We should do a national knee in and refuse to move until things change. I’ve got time. I can type in a kneeling position.

This morning I read a post in which the author said that the NFL is messing up. They are putting asunder what is already not divided, they are bucking up the system and in the process messing up what America is all about….football. She spoke of the one nation of football under God and I kind of wanted to puke.

According to her, its all kumbaya and rainbows in the stands but these damn, political football players with all their lofty dreams of equality and oneness are messing up her tailgating and football time. In her mind, the NFL players are part of the problem. They only need look into the stands to see that the country is united in football. Can’t we all just get along?

Firstly, this woman is part of the problem. Secondly, I was very recently in the stands and just like the United States, if you are sitting in the wrong section, it’s not so comfortable and united. It’s pretty fucking scary and intimidating. It’s like openly accepted prejudice. As a Latina woman, it felt the same as being the only minority in an all-white, male event.

Sure, it’s awesome if you’re part of the majority. For you, it’s all chicken wings and beer, extraneous high fives and lots of shouting. For the minority, the wrong person in the wrong place, wrong color at the wrong time, it is uncomfortable AF. There I stood, in the wrong section, rooting for the wrong team.

Aside from the expected normal rude, loud, obnoxious behavior that anyone tends to get being the minority anywhere, especially at an organized sporting event where alcohol is sold to fuel the fire, one particularly deranged fan took it even further and personally, tried to pick a fight with me by first accusing me of stealing his seat to then accusing me of stealing his water? I was pretty flabbergasted because a) I’m an adult b) I had the brains to buy 4 bottles of water in 100 degree temperature when I knew I was in row 1 and my out of shape, old-self wasn’t going to be making multiple trips up and down those stadium stairs and c) I.AM.GROWN !

Now, if I were a meeker woman this short, fat, balding loud man would have made me feel threatened and scared. As it were, he just really pissed me off and I was completely prepared to throw his ass over the railing and go to jail for it because I can no longer shut my mouth while some loud-mouthed white guy tries to intimidate me into shutting up and staying in line. That is the problem.

And this woman who says the NFL players only need to look to the stands, to their fans, to see the cohesiveness and unitedness of this great nation under God, well, that broad is delusional. She in particular needs to take a knee because she is the biggest part of the problem. She refuses to believe there is a problem because, for her, there is no problem. It must be nice to have the option to not see the problem because it does not affect you whatsoever but for those who it does, standing up for the National Anthem is not an option. We all need to take a collective knee to stand up for equality.

What is your opinion and why on the NFL players taking a knee?

2017/09/30 1 comment

Latina News Social Good

Marriage Equality and Being Human in America

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/26

written by Deborah Cruz

Today, marriage equality became legislation nation wide. Today we got one step closer to human equality.

According to the Oxford dictionary a Human Being: A man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech and upright stance.

That is all it takes to qualify us as human beings.

This is what differentiates us from the animals. It does not say that there are varying degrees of human beings. Man, woman and child homo sapiens are all equally human. Not one is better or more superior in mind or make up because of race, creed, color, religion or sexual preference. We are all, at our core, human beings. If everyone accepted that, the world would be a more peaceful and beautiful place to live.

I am a 42-year-old, heterosexual, Latina woman which in the eyes of some make me less than. I am nearing middle-age, I am first generation Mexican-American and I have a vagina. Old, brown and vagina to some. But not to me. To me, I am the strongest woman you will ever meet. I don’t stop and I don’t even believe in the word can’t. Nothing is impossible. Your underestimation of me, of anyone, is your problem not mine because I will prove you wrong every damn time. I’m the underdog and I have nowhere to go but up. Be prepared to fight because I won’t give up and I think that is how most minorities feel.

This morning, I wrote a piece at Latina.Mom.me about Donald Trump’s racist statements about the Mexican people and South American immigrants. He said Mexico is not sending it’s best and those Mexican immigrants that come to the United States are criminals, rapists and drug lords. That pisses me off. I am personally fucking offended.

Maybe he should read a book because, in case he missed it, this country was founded by immigrants. This country was built on the blood, sweat, tears and backs of immigrants. Immigrants from Mexico and South America are no more criminal than the immigrants who landed on Plymouth rock, in fact, maybe less so. My ancestors didn’t murder the Native Indians.

Most of my family were immigrants; none of them were rapists, drug lords or criminals. Most of the people fleeing from South America are coming to provide better lives for their children. They are good, hardworking people. They are victims of their circumstances. They are running from the drug lords. And Mr. Trump as you talk of building a wall on the Mexican American border to keep Latinos out, just remember most of the area you want to build a wall around, once belonged to Mexico. They didn’t land on the border, the fucking border landed on them.

Then I see the news about Dylann Roof, white racist guy who decides that it’s his personal right to go kill a bunch of innocent African Americans at church. He just walked in there like he was an exterminator and it was his God given right to murder human beings because he does not feel that their life is equal in value to his because they are black.

Let me remind all of you racist assholes who share this twisted mentality; Americans brought the Africans to the United States as slaves for free labor. The Africans were stolen from their homes, separated from their families, raped, beaten, humiliated and dehumanized before they were worked to death in the fields like animals. They were treated as disposable labor and property, not people. I’ve actually heard people in the south tell a black person to “go back to Africa!” Are you kidding me? They didn’t want to be here in the first place and now you tell them to go back? African Americans are Americans and bottom line, they are human beings. If you can’t treat them as such, maybe you should leave? The people of color are having a bad week. This has to change, soon.

But thankfully, today one injustice was undone. Today marriage was made legal across the country and no one can refuse anyone that right to be married. The world we live in changed for the better today. It’s not just about a wedding and a party with the person you love, it’s about the right to be seen as a spouse in the eyes of the law. It’s about being able to share insurance, be one another’s next of kin, be at the bedside of the one you love because you are legally seen as family. It’s about not having your entire life undone on top of losing your partner. It’s about being free to love and live as a family unit. It’s about parental rights and medical say so. It’s about humanizing the homosexual community.

In response, one middle-aged white man, Rick Scarborough, a christian fundamentalist and former southern Baptist pastor, threatened to set himself on fire if Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage. I ask you , does anyone have a match this asshole can borrow?

In other news, have the country is threatening to move to Canada to escape the marriage equality hell in a fate of the United States, apparently this morons know nothing of world politics because Canada has had legalized same sex marriage for a decade.

The bottom line is that all of us, the weak, poor, huddled masses… the browns, the blacks, the Jews, the trangendered, the homosexuals and those of us with vaginas we are just as human as the middle-aged white men who hate us with such fervor that they want to see us eradicated from their existence.

Today is a day of celebration. We have made one tiny step for human equality. Let’s keep fighting and remember that we all deserve the same, respect and rights because we are all equal in our humanity. Today, love wins! Today, the world became a better place for our children.

What are your thoughts on marriage equality?

2015/06/26 0 comment

#PrayforParis, Paris, ISIS.Humanity, terrorism, Beirut, Syrian Refugees, Human Rights, Trump, borders, Peace

News

In the Face of the Unfathomable Pray for Humanity

by Deborah Cruz 2015/11/17

written by Deborah Cruz

If you are the praying sort, please pray for humanity. I’ve not written about the situation in Paris until tonight because mostly, I was just trying to sit with it and digest it. I am having ripples of those same vulnerable feelings that overcame so many of us on 9/11. I am not an expert on what has happened, or what is going on in Syria, Beirut or any other place in the world where terrorists are wreaking havoc on our combined societal psyche but I am a citizen of the world.

Here is what I do know. I have seen what ISIS has done. I have witnessed the videos of random beheadings. I know that a terrorist and a Muslim are not the same thing. A Muslim is a member of a faith and a terrorist is someone who strikes fear into the hearts of others with no remorse. A terrorist sneaks in like a lamb and then attacks without provocation. Above all else, I know that we are all humans.

I know that terrorism is an act of cowardice and no matter who is in the line of fire, it is always a loss and we are all victims of the tyranny. The only way to overcome the brutality of terrorism is for those of us who have felt it’s wrath to rise up, band together and fight back. We have to be willing to make the sacrifice to stand up for what we believe in and be brave in the face of our greatest fears. We must believe in our purpose as much as they believe in their hatred.

People all over the world are splitting hairs in the wake of this tragedy. Trying to make sense of such a senseless act leaves heavy hearts making rash decisions and placing unwarranted blame on innocent victims. This is what is happening. Fear mongering is creeping in, perpetuated by politicians and those who already had hearts full of hatred. Bigots are using this as an excuse to proclaim themselves righteous.

The thing is this, we are losing sight of what is really happening. We are being manipulated. The terrorists are winning. If we live in fear and ban refugees from seeking shelter in our country, the terrorists win.

Trump and other members of the GOP are taking this opportunity to push their agenda. Even with fear and sorrow in my heart, in light of the recent terrorists attacks, I refuse to believe that we must shut people out to keep ourselves safe. More stringent vetting before we allow anyone to cross borders anywhere, I get but shutting entire populations out because of where they come from is insane.

Maybe my perspective is a little different because being a Latina I’ve already been on the politicians’ list of people who should be kept out. If we believe the politicians, all Latinos are rapist and drug dealers, all Syrians are members of ISIS and all Muslims are terrorists. The problem with absolute statements is that there are no absolutes in life. People are not an all or nothing sort of situation.

I get it, we’re scared. We are all scared of ISIS and terrorism in general and we should be. They are dangerous, they kill without discrimination and they hate us but I think it is appalling that politicians like Trump would use this terrible tragedy to push a political agenda.

How can we turn our backs on the people who need our help the most? How can we turn refugees seeking political asylum, which could mean the difference between their life or death, away and send them back to imminent death?

I’ve written before about the Latinos coming to the United States to escape persecution in their own country; to give their children a better life. They risk everything to come to the United States to keep their children safe and give them a chance in life, leaving behind everything and everyone they’ve ever known or loved. The Syrians who are seeking refuge are doing the same. They want to live. They have warrior hearts and they need shelter from the terrorism in their own country.

You know, not every Mexican is in the cartel and not every Syrian is a part of ISIS most of these people who are so desperate to cross our borders into the United States just want the chance to survive. How can we deny them that?

Hearts are broken, faith shaken and fear has taken hold of us all but we cannot let that happen because if we do, we condemn those who need us most and we let the terrorist win. We cannot live our lives hiding from the what ifs because in the end, danger can always find a way. We win by retaining our humanity in the face of this crisis. We win by reaching out to those who need us the most and giving them a helping hand, not kicking them in the teeth and sending them home. Remember, over half of these refugees are children.

Pray for Paris. Pray for Beirut. Pray for the Syrians. Pray for humanity. Pray for the whole world. Be safe. Do whatever you need to do to gain your bearings and then open your heart and remember who the true enemy is…ISIS not the Muslim people in general.

I know you’re afraid. We are all afraid but please don’t let this change your humanity.

2015/11/17 0 comment

How it Feels to be a Democrat on Inauguration Eve 2021, President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris

Girl Mom Politics

One Day More the Eve of the Restoration of Democracy

by Deborah Cruz 2021/01/19

written by Deborah Cruz

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

I was sitting here contemplating tomorrow and the events of the past 2 weeks. 2 weeks ago tomorrow, President Trump incited a coup attempt and set his Patriots on a path to overturn democracy; an assault on our Capitol. He fanned the flames of insurgence and pointed them in the direction of our nation’s house with instructions to take the country back. Last week, he was impeached (for a second time) for his part in inciting violence and assault upon the very country and people he was entrusted to serve and protect. Tomorrow, we begin anew with President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.

One day more until we again have hope; another day, another destiny.

I’m afraid. I am exhausted from the past four years of enduring the unthinkable. I’ve felt that I’ve been living in an alternate reality; stuck in a nightmare that I cannot awake from. I’ve only recently realized that I’ve spent the past four years living in constant fear and under duress; terrified of the people wielding power and hate. Holding my breath, gritting my teeth and biting my tongue. Unable to fully breathe. I have been suffocating. Striking out and speaking out with the constant knowledge that it could put me in imminent danger. The worry is real. But the pursuit of good is greater.

One day more, we endure.

As a nation, we the people, have learned to band together to speak up and strike out against hatred. In the midst of all of this chaos, we have become unified in our pursuit of justice. It’s changed our perspective and given us a renewed faith and appreciation for the democracy our great country was born upon. Here we are, less than 24 hours from the dawn of a new era. Tomorrow, we are given redemption in the form of hope, decency and democracy.

One day more.

Tomorrow, we will wake up and have a decent, good man as the president of our United States. We will have THE FIRST FEMALE VICE PRESIDENT. I get to celebrate this history-making inauguration alongside my two daughters, who get to see a woman of color, merit and humanity take the second-highest office in this nation. Let that sit with you a moment. Tomorrow, a man who perpetuated hatred and insurgence and led his own supporters down a trail of lies and conspiracies just to hold onto the power of the presidency, will finally leave the sacred grounds of the White House.

One day more.

Tonight, I can’t sleep. I am afraid as I inhale deeply and hold my breath one last time before human decency and democracy return to their rightful place in our nation’s capital. One long last night filled with hope and fear of what is to come and where we go from here as we the people, assemble in reformation to become the great nation we once were before the long four years of divisive tension that culminated in an insurrection. We can never unknow the hatred and vitriol that has been so freely spewed in the last term. Our neighbors, friends and family have revealed themselves as the monsters they are and we cannot forgive nor forget that they chose their hatred and money over the well-being and equality of the rest of us. It has been unbearable, this anxiety-ridden, claustrophobic hostage situation we’ve spent the last four years surviving.

Just one day more.

How it Feels to be a Democrat on Inauguration Eve 2021, President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris

Tomorrow is unseen and I don’t know how this is all going to playout. I’m hopeful that tomorrow goes as expected but I’m trepidatious because this is not the same United States that it was four years ago. None of us are the same as we were before the Trump administration. We don’t see one another with those rose-colored glasses of civility anymore and neither does the rest of the world. We have been revealed to be instead of the photoshopped version of ourselves hiding behind press releases and fancy clothes and makeup to a stripped-down naked and hungry version of ourselves for all the world to see. We fought amongst ourselves as our allies and enemies watched on. Our president’s bravado and narcissism has left us exposed and vulnerable to the world; attacks foreign and domestic. I pray tomorrow, we finally can make America great again… I hope we can rebuild bridges where he has built walls.

One day more.

2021/01/19 0 comment

interview with an ER doctor on the front line, everything you wanted to know about coronavirus

Life in the time of Coronavirus

Coronavirus Interview with an ER Doctor on the Front Line

by Deborah Cruz 2020/03/22

written by Deborah Cruz

The world feels like it’s falling apart with the coronavirus pandemic. It’s scary. I’m not the type to buy into fear and hysteria but facts are facts. The coronavirus is an unknown and as such, if you have an ounce of sense, you are probably afraid. You are not alone. Even the doctors and nurses are afraid. You should be afraid. I had an interview with an ER doctor on the front line and I found out everything you wanted to know about coronavirus. If you suspect that you may have been exposed to the virus or have been in contact with a person showing symptoms of the disease, it is recommended that you get yourself tested using a ThermoGenesis COVID 19 test kit at a medical clinic and be quarantined if found covid-positive so as not to infect your family or co-workers.

I wanted to get some real answers so I contacted a front line healthcare worker, an ER doctor. There are so many conflicting reports and the information is changing by the moment. I’m just a mom, no medical background so I consulted a professional I asked the questions in my interview with an ER doctor and I found out everything you wanted to know about coronavirus. She is not the only doctor who feels this way.

The big truth is that healthcare workers are severely wanting of protective gear. We’re basically sending them into the hospitals like lambs to the slaughter. We want them to save us but they are not even equipped to save themselves, they don’t have what they need on hand to protect themselves from contracting coronavirus from constant and repeated exposure.

Why should you care about that (besides that it’s the human thing to do)? You should care because 1) if they all get sick, there will be no one to take care of your loved ones if they get sick 2) if they are exposed and carrying or sick and you go into the hospital to get checked, you’ll probably contract it too. This is going to cost lives. There is no way around that.

This is my interview with an ER doctor on the frontlines. This is everything you wanted to know about coronavirus.

Me: Thank you for what you do. How are you holding up?
ER: Thanks. I’m in full panic mode. There’s not enough protective gear at the hospitals and our medical clinic. It’s not that I’m special, but I refuse to use substandard equipment during all of this so that’s going to leave me (an asthmatic) with very few choices soon.
Me: I hope they get you guys some more protective gear.
ER: They’re rationing protective gear and telling people to use stuff that won’t protect them and I’m not going to do that. It puts me and my patients in harm’s way, leaving us all vulnerable.
Coronavirus is scary for everyone, but especially for me and others in the high-risk group.
I’m willing to do my part, but I’m not willing to die because I’m not protected and those are my only choices right now.
They’re going to kill off all the healthcare workers in America because the government isn’t getting us what we need.

President Donald Trump has not yet made use of the Defense Production Act to get critical supplies to the front lines of the coronavirus fight, FEMA Administrator Peter Gaynor said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.”
Trump said Friday that he was using the act and had directed “a lot” of companies to produce key supplies like masks and ventilators.
On Saturday, the president suggested that he had not done that because private companies were stepping up on their own.
Gaynor told CNN that donations and voluntary offers of assistance were presently sufficient. “If it comes to a point we have to pull the lever, we will,” he said.

Me: Are they giving it to us straight or is it being played down to the public?
ER: They’re going to hurt everyone in this chaos and the ramifications will be felt for decades to come. It’s not just affecting the elderly. Half the people in Italy admitted with coronavirus are 20-54-years-old.
Me: So, what kind of protective gear are the hospitals in need of?
ER: Right now we are in desperate need of N95s, face shields, gloves, surgical
masks, gowns and hair covers.
Me: Is there a shortage bring manufactured? Or just a shortage on hand? How can we help?
ER: There’s a nationwide shortage. Not enough protective gear at hospitals currently and not enough being manufactured.
If someone has product to donate, I would call the county or state department of health and ask where to make donations. Or even contact your local hospitals (might be better) if you have access.

Me: I read somewhere there is a new quick test that takes about 45 minutes. Is that true?
ER: In regards to new quick testing, I haven’t heard of that yet. But, there have been a lot of fake companies trying to sell stuff to hospitals. If it’s from the FDA then that’s promising.
Me: What advice would you give to people to stay well?
ER: Well people need to stay at home as much as possible. Wash hands frequently. Go nowhere except pharmacy, gas and grocery stores. The more people stay away from each other the less the spread.

Me: What advice would you give people who suspect they’re sick?
ER: Sick people should stay home. Self-isolate from family as much as possible. If you don’t feel short of breath stay home and wait to feel better … like you’d do with the flu.
If you become short of breath and you feel you need to go to the ER, call ahead to let them know your symptoms so preparation can be made.
Me: Anything else I should include so people understand how serious this is? How easy it spreads? How it’s different than the flu? Why it’s more dangerous? What we can do to keep ourselves healthy during this time of quarantine? How this will negatively affect healthcare workers and why that’s important to every citizen
ER: People need to understand that no one alive today has an immune system that has been exposed to this virus so no one’s body is equipped to prevent the infection. If you are in the company of someone who has it you WILL get it.
The majority of people will feel nothing worse than a cold or flu. That’s a best-case scenario.

Me: Do you know, if you catch it, do you have immunity then or can you catch it again?
ER: No one knows at this time if having it once can prevent you from getting it again.
ME: What predicts if a person will experience it like a cold/flu or worse? Underlying conditions? What underlying conditions are. Included?
ER: People with chronic diseases; cardiovascular and lung disease are more adversely affected. People will die.
ME: What is the worst-case scenario experience? What will happen then?
ER: If a majority of health care workers get sick/ die this will make the current crisis many folds worse and leave Americans without adequate healthcare for decades to come.
ME: Are healthcare workers more susceptible just because of being on the frontlines? Or is it because of the inadequate gear? Repeated exposure?
ER: Being on the front lines without adequate protective gear is the biggest risk, and likely multiplied by repeated exposure without protection.
The slower this spreads across America the more time healthcare workers have to give patients the care they need in a manageable setting. This means people need to stay at home so the virus can’t spread. If everyone gets sick all at once the hospitals will be overrun and there will not be enough beds, medicines, or critical care equipment to take appropriate care of ANYONE.

If we’re lucky, we’ll spend some time at home with our families and it’ ll feel like we overreacted and no one we love will die. That’s if we self-quarantine and practice social distance as asked. If we don’t, and we keep going on spring break and going to parties and thinking the rules don’t apply to us, we’ll all lose people that we know.

We need anybody who can donate any masks, but most importantly N95s, to do so.

Oregon Gov. Kate Brown signed an executive order requiring all hospitals, ambulatory surgery centers, outpatient clinics, dental clinics, and veterinary clinics with surplus PPE supplies to notify the state’s PPE coordinator to arrange for a handoff. Vets, dentists, and the like are ordered, by law, to participate in the reallocation of this excess equipment to the nurses and doctors directly treating patients. According to the executive order, any person found to be in violation would be subject to the penalties of a Class C misdemeanor.

WE NEED THIS IN EVERY STATE. Contact your local governor by email or CALL THEM and implore them to follow Governor Brown’s example and get our healthcare workers the protective gear they need. Our doctors and nurses on the front lines should not have to resort to Twitter and using a hashtag #GetMePPE just to do their job.

Our doctors and healthcare workers should not have to fear for their lives in order to save ours.

This was my interview with an ER doctor asking everything you ever wanted to know about coronavirus. If you have more questions, leave them in the comments and I will follow up with the doctor and try to get you the answers.

2020/03/22 27 comments

equality, Raising girls, how to raise brave women

Girl Mom Politics Women's Issues

How to Raise Brave Women and Compassionate Humans

by Deborah Cruz 2016/11/23

written by Deborah Cruz

As many of you know, I don’t often have posts written by guest writers but when I do, they are usually amazing writers with something important to say. Today, I have the privilege of sharing with you one of my dearest friends, Amanda Magee, who just happens to be one of the strongest, bravest, samrtest and kindest women I know. She also happens to be a damn great writer. She is a writer’s writer. Did I mention she is raising three amazing girls who I am sure will be the change they want to see in the world because that is exactly what their mom is exemplifying for them? Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your words and truth here. If you’d like to read more of Amanda, be sure to check her out on her blog.

A quick introduction, my name is Amanda Magee. I live in upstate New York where I own an advertising and communications agency and am raising three daughters. Deborah and I met by chance at a blogging conference a few years back. Over the years we have bonded over parenting daughters and being strong willed women in the world. She has invited me to write here a couple of times and despite my not having come through, she kept asking; the last time after I posted about our experience marching at an Anti-Trump rally with our daughters. I am so grateful for hearts, minds, and voices like Deborah’s.

A couple of years ago I found myself thinking that I knew how to forecast the years ahead. I bought into the idea that hormones were going to be the thing I had to focus on, but it wasn’t true. Yes, there are emotional highs and lows; yes, my three daughters are not yet in the thick of puberty at 8, 10, and 12, but what has become central to our reality is how we will navigate the world—not during our menstrual cycles, more in light of the fact that we (will) have menstrual cycles.

How do I raise brave women? How do I equip them with both confidence and suspicion? Is it possible to raise them to be good citizens and compassionate human beings in the same breath as I say that there are people who will break rules and take without asking? How do I tell them that they can make all the best decisions and still be hurt?

Raising girls, how to raise brave women, equality

Zits and thigh gap? We’ll be fine, slurs muttered at the mention of homosexual family members and systemic defense and promotion of “boys will be boys” and “you shouldn’t be upset, he just wanted to talk to you,” those are the things that demand my attention.

Over the last year, I’ve begun to speak more plainly with my daughters and I’ll be honest, it’s been bittersweet. I wanted to give them the cocoon of childhood as long as I could, but when conversation on the bus turns to building a wall, grabbing pussies, and sending people away I have a choice, do I defer the world view shaping to other kids and influences or do I talk to them about the spectrum of views? I chose the latter.

Raising girls, how to raise brave women, equality

I’ve never once painted one side of politics as evil and the other as benevolent, because despite being a lifelong, pro-choice, feminist liberal, I don’t hate Republicans or Conservatives. The only thing I really hate is hate, which is why we were an anti-Trump house and why we are committed to continuing to speak up against the motions that take us as a country to greater stances of division. It’s new territory for me, because I have always looked at the person holding the office of president as our leader. I cannot do that this time.

Raising girls, how to raise brave women, equality

I am looking to people like Deborah, I am listening to black women, people from the trans community, I am questioning the decisions of lawmakers, and I am donating to organizations like Planned Parenthood and the Southern Poverty Law Center. We as a family are committing to being engaged at the local and regional level, not just every four years. We are reading books like Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls. I am heartbroken that so many people didn’t vote; I am distressed that many people, myself included, have had moments of silence that made them complicit in hate or systemic racism. We are choosing to adhere to a policy of living our beliefs out loud and in public, because the alternative is the kind of inaction that lets hate fester and threaten to overtake us all.

Photos Courtesy Amanda Magee

2016/11/23 0 comment

hillary clinton, presidential, election, election 2016, donald trump

News Politics Women's Issues

I’m Voting For Hillary Clinton and Here’s Why You Should Too

by Deborah Cruz 2016/11/07

written by Deborah Cruz

First, let me start by clarifying that I f*cking love Hillary Clinton. I love what she stands for and the kind of woman she is. I want to be her when I grow up and I choose her for my next president; not because she’s the “lesser of two evils” but because she is qualified, experienced and can get the job done. Hillary Clinton is the only presidential candidate I trust with my daughters’ futures.

Hillary Clinton is a strong, intelligent, determined, experienced and fierce woman. She has come up through the ranks and learned as she has gone along. It’s taken 30 years in many different positions of government but she’s seen a lot of what can and can’t be done, what needs to be done and has had plenty of time to figure out how to make it happen. Most importantly, she will not back down. She will fight for this country and its people with the ferocity that a mama bear would fight for her own child because that’s how she works. It’s personal.

This election is about choosing the best candidate for the job of running our country and for me that is Hillary Clinton. It’s not about popularity or choosing the candidate that makes us feel better about our own bad behavior. It’s not a pissing contest. I know some of you are scared because she bucks the status quo because she is a woman and that’s not what we are used to but as a woman let me tell you, my vagina does not affect my mind. I can do anything any man can do, maybe even better depending on the man, with the exception of pissing standing up. You men have the market on that still. Don’t be afraid to elect Hillary Clinton because she’s a woman.

I know many of you, my friends, are Republicans. Hell, I used to be one myself (long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.) I remember a rally came to my university where George Bush Sr. spoke and I lost my damn mind. You would have thought that Ryan Gosling showed up.

The thing is that was 25 years ago and I have grown up. I’ve also spent many years studying political science and I know a lot more about how politics work and what democracy is really about than most. I know that being conservative is not going to change anything and I want change. This country needs change. The country needs Hillary Clinton.

I am liberal. I want equality for everyone. I believe that men, women, black, white, brown, yellow, green, Jewish, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindi, Latinos, Asians, African Americans, Caucasians, Straight, gay, bisexual and transgender…we are all human and equal as such. I believe every single one of us matters. I know, crazy talk.

I believe that a woman’s body is her domain and no one else has the right to tell her what to do with it. I believe that a baby is a baby at conception but I don’t believe that an unborn baby’s rights trump those of a woman’s right to choose what is best for her, her body and her situation and certainly don’t believe the government has any business in my uterus.

I believe in the right to bear arms, even though I personally would never own a gun. But I also believe in common sense gun control and if you are not deemed fit to fly because you might be suspected of being a terrorist, then I think you shouldn’t be granted the freedom to buy a gun until you are cleared. I believe that the process to be a licensed carrier needs to be more stringent and I also believe that if you are mentally ill, and I say this as someone who has her own diagnosis, you should not be able to own a firearm. Why? Because if not properly treated, you could kill yourself or someone else. It’s a fact. If you are not in your right frame of mind, you can do things you wouldn’t normally do. Add a loaded firearm to the mix and it can be catastrophic.

I believe in immigration laws. My dad was an illegal immigrant at one time. He’s legal now but I’m a first generation Mexican-American and I understand why refugees come to our country; they want a better life. They want the American dream. What you might not understand is that most of those fleeing to the U.S. are not coming to rape and pillage our land, they are coming to escape a terrible situation in a third world country. They are coming to give their children a better life.

Immigration laws need to be logical. You can’t send people back, away from their family and loved ones, away from the only life they’ve ever known to a country that they no longer belong to or want to be a part of. It’s like throwing a lifeline to someone who is drowning and then pulling it away and watching them drown because it doesn’t suit your agenda. These are human beings. A wall is not the answer. It will not keep anyone out. We need to change the process for entry.

The way we are taxed is crazy. Those who make a lot of money are taxed less than those of us who are middle class. This perpetuates a cycle in which none of us can move ahead. It is ridiculous to be a hard working American and still have to live paycheck to paycheck when those who have so much get to keep so much more.

The bottom line is this; I am voting for Hillary Clinton because she is the best person for the job.

The simple fact, all personal feelings aside, Donald Trump is simply not qualified for the position. He has no experience. He is full of ideas (all of which I cannot agree with) but he has no way of bringing any of them to fruition because he doesn’t understand how the political system works. You can’t wish or buy your way through the presidency, not if you want to be an effective president.

I’m feeling a little on edge about this election because I feel like so much is on the line so I just spoke to my dad, an immigrant to this country that he loves, and he told me, “Debi, mija, go vote. Do your part. Stand up for what you believe in but believe that God will guide whoever wins the election to do what’s best for the American people and this great country.” I wish I could have my father’s faith in democracy and the American people.

My dad raised me that all human beings are equal and that this country is the greatest country on earth and it’s a privilege to be able to live under its democratic system. He also raised me to fight tooth and nail for what I believe in and then he sent me to university to study politics so I implore you, please vote for Hillary Clinton tomorrow. Our future, the future of our children and the future of the land of the free and the home of the brave are at stake.

Tomorrow morning, I will be at the poll with my daughters and my husband, casting our vote for Hillary Clinton. I hope you will be too. Your vote counts, every single vote counts.

Vote Hillary Clinton

2016/11/07 3 comments

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