web analytics
Search results for

"regular mom"

mom fail

mom fail

I don’t want to Mom fail these two

The feeling of mom fail is inevitable at some point in motherhood. As a mom, I spend a lot of my time chasing my own tail. I am always trying to catch up. Just when I think I have a handle on this Motherhood gig, the rules change. This is not a complaint. This is a fact.

When my girls are sleeping, I look at them and my breath is taken away from me just by knowing they are mine. I made them. I grew them. They are amazing and that has to be in some small part a reflection of me, right?

On other days, when I just can’t catch up, I feel like a complete failure because it feels hard. We’re brainwashed into believing it’s not supposed to be hard. Then the guilt creeps in because I must be doing something wrong.

Mom Fail hurts

But then there are good moments that prove to me that I am not so bad at this motherhood job; days when I surprise even myself. Days when I feel like I was meant to do this. Days where there is no annoyance or heated reactions to bad behavior. The days that I actually think and breathe before I carry on are good days.

Last weekend, we were unexpectedly whisked out of town. Anyone who has children knows that an unexpected trip has a ripple effect of repercussions that you will be feeling the quake from for weeks to come. This was no exception. We were all exhausted and irritable.

Monday morning came and as I drove up to drop off, one of my worst failures as a mom was realized. It may not sound like much, but if you have a kid that has to wear a uniform to school, you know my pain. I sent my kid to school in her uniform on a dress down day.

We pulled up to see not only had she not worn shorts, after a lengthy discussion that included tears and bitter disappointment and me saying, “ Then just put on your jumper and let’s go. We are going to be late!” I’m certain this sounds familiar to at least some of you.

1st Mom fail of the morning.

Every kid was not only wearing shorts, they were wearing STREET*CLOTHES!! It was a dress down day. Catholic school kids live for these days. Major mom fail! Ella didn’t complain, she only exited the car. “Mommy, I love you.” and walked into the building, crushed. I felt failure.

I drove her sister to the pre-school and I couldn’t shake the feeling of letting her down. I was also impressed that she didn’t complain, even though I could see it broke her heart. After, dropping her sister off, I drove to the nearest Target (because we live nowhere near her school) and bought her an outfit. I drove back to the school, went to her classroom, took my daughter to the restroom and changed her into her shorts and t-shirt.

She was shocked, surprised and I completely impressed. That’s hard to do to a 7 year old. She was genuinely happy. In that small act, $25 and 15 minutes of my time, I created an unforgettable moment in her life. She will never forget that I took the time and care to make her happy. I will never forget that giant beautiful that she had, just for me. She is always loved and she knows that but sometimes it’s nice to remind them of just how special they are to you.

What’s been your greatest mom fail? How have you turned a mom fail into a mom win?

11 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
gifts for new moms that aren't for the baby

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Becoming a mom is a privilege, just ask any mom but it is also exhausting and thankless and, did I mention, exhausting. Half the time you forget your own name because everyone refers to you as mom, mama, mommy or so-and-so’s (insert baby’s name here) mom.

If someone you love has become a mom for the first time, you probably want to give them a special gift to mark the occasion. A lot of gifts for new Moms are actually things for the baby. This can be helpful for Mom, but after a while, she might soon find she’s got more newborn baby stuff than she can use and feels as though her special occasion is more about the baby than herself. It can be lovely to give your new Mom loved one something that is purely for her, and not for her baby. 

Jewelry

If the new Mom you know is someone very special to you, like your spouse, partner, sister, or best friend, you could give her a beautiful piece of keepsake jewelry. Jewelry to commemorate something so special will always be sentimental to her. You could buy something like a beautiful necklace, or even have something custom designed just for her to really make a statement. Choose a stone, with help from the James Allen review from Pricescope, and a setting, and you have something she’ll always treasure. 

Gift Vouchers

Vouchers can be very good gifts as they give the receiver more choice. Think about what might be most appreciated by a busy, tired new Mom. You could give vouchers for their favorite local takeaway or food delivery service. Give vouchers for some pampering, whether it’s a pedicure or a full spa day. You could even make your own vouchers for things like an evening of babysitting, that she can cash in to have a date night with her spouse or an afternoon off to go shopping. 

Subscriptions

A subscription gift could be for something practical and useful, or something more fun for her. If you know she’s struggling to find time to cook, gift a recipe box subscription service that can make cooking quicker and simpler. You could gift a subscription to her favorite magazine so she has something to read when she’s up doing late-night feeds. What about a subscription for a flower delivery so something pretty arrives every month for her?

Coffee

Disrupted nights mean a tired mom. A lot of new Moms drink a lot of coffee, although if she’s breastfeeding, you should double-check with her how much she is able to have. A gift of some posh coffee that’s eco-friendly and gourmet like Steeped Coffee, a pretty mug to drink it out of, or a to-go cup to put her coffee in when she takes the baby out in the stroller will all be well-received. You can find beautiful cups that have clever technology in them to keep your drink warm without needing to use a thermos cup in the house. These are perfect for new Moms who struggle to drink a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold. 

At-home beauty and spa treatments

There is not a lot of free time when you have a newborn but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to feel good and take care of yourself. Facemasks, at-home teeth whitening kits, lotions and serums, a foot spa or a great skincare system like Tarte’s Awake line, vegan and cruelty-free, is a favorite in our house.

Loungewear

As a new mom, clothing can often be decided by what can be put on quickest, is most comfortable, and is the cleanest. Make this easier for her by gifting her some stylish but comfortable loungewear. Comfortable leggings, yoga pants, or cardigans are all good choices.

As a mom, what is the number 1 thing that you’d want as a gift from family and friends?

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

It’s Friday and that means that I am going to be sharing 5 more of my favorite blogs with all of you.Trust me when I say, these are women that you will be glad that you checked out!

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Courtesy Enjoying the Small Things

 

Enjoying the Small Things~ I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.Dawna Markova Enjoying the Small Things began in 2007, shortly after my first daughter Lainey was born, as a way to combine my writing and photography hobbies.It since has evolved to much more, providing not only an outlet for creativity (without which, I’d go nuts), but a home for the gratitude I feel for all of my inspirations, and most importantly, the moments we share as a family.  This January(2010), we welcomed our second girl, Nella Cordelia, and were stunned to learn, upon her delivery, that she had Down syndrome.  My world was rocked to the core, and I was sure life as I knew it was over. How wrong I was.  Between the outpouring of love and support we received, some hardcore life analysis and therapeutic insights I made on this blog through it all, I have arrived at the very beautiful place of Life is hard.  But it’s also amazing, and I will rock the hell out of it.Kelle Hampton is an amazing writer and photographer. She IS my daily read. I look forward to her words and photographs for inspiration as I do the sunrise every morning. She reminds me of a girl I might have grown up with here in the Midwest. She has the words to give life to the giant gestures of love that the rest of us feel for our children, husbands and our lives. She looks at life through rose colored, half- full glasses and sees the beauty in the small things, the simple things, the everyday things. Kelle is a must read. One read and your heart will be stolen forever. You can find her here

 

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Courtesy of Perfectly Disheveled

Perfectly Disheveled ~Hi! I’m Jennifer Brandt a.k.a. J-Ko. I live in Los Angeles and am mom to a ridiculously delicious 3 year old boy.As I watch my son Jonah discover the world around him, I think of my imaginary friends fondly and know that their spirit will always be with me… with us. Jennifer is a single mom of the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen. Her blog is honest, funny and light. She talks about everything under the sun to do with single parenting and touches on a lot of great tips for today’s moms, women in general and somehow looks completely adorable all the while. When you read Perfectly disheveled, you know that she is the every mom. She is the Mom at the playground, the mom in Starbucks, the hurrying out the door trying to beat the traffic to preschool Mommy. If you’re there now, she’s been there! She tells it like it is, openly and honestly with a little sugar to make the medicine go down. She’s the kind of girl who you could have a glass of wine and an honest conversation with for hours. That’s the vibe her blog gives off too. You can find her here and on Twitter. Now go read her now.I promise you will be thanking me for pointing you in her direction.

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Courtesy of Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip~Ever since I became a mother six years ago, I’ve wanted to write about it. Motherhood is the kind of experience that changes everything about you. It is amazing and wonderful. It is wild and unexpected. It is so incredible and life-changing that it is truly beyond explanation. Before you experience yourself, descriptions of motherhood sound like simple cliché. This blog is dedicated to love, the kind of love that gets you up in the middle of the night. The kind of love that throws up on you and needs its pamper changed and wets the bed. The kind of love that leaves you breathless when it runs out into the street. The kind of love that makes you buy organic smashed peas and animal crackers. The kind of love that changes you forever, for better or for worse, and you are thrilled about it. Naomi is AWESOME. She is a hilariously snarkilicious, salsa diva with a brilliant ability to laugh at the every day situations. You know those situations that make us want to cry? Not Naomi, she can turn that frown upside down and find the funny in it. There is so much to love about her and her blog that the list would be shorter to list what I don’t like. I don’t like that she doesn’t get to post as often as I’d like, instead she leaves me with baited breath waiting for my daily dose of funny.She’s a bloggy sadomasochist that way. But lucky for us, she is so freakishly amazing and apparently has more hours in the day than the rest of us humans. She can be found at SheKnows or today she was here and of course you can find her at her blog and on Twitter. She is amazing. I don’t mean that in the smoke up your ass, I love everybody way. I mean she is really freaking amazing.I heart her hardcore and I know you will too. Not only is she sweet and funny, she has a heart as big as Texas!

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Courtesy of Scary Mommy

Scary Mommy ~ Jill is a domestic satirist whose candor and wit about the underbelly of marriage and parenting has brought Erma Bombeck-style insights to a new generation of women.Her personal blog, which averages over 500,000 page views a month, recounts with humor and humility the travails of parenthood. It has been recognized with numerous blogging awards, including lucky number 13 on Babble’s “Best Mom Blogger” list. Her Scary Mommy Society provides a forum for other “scary mommies,” blogging newcomers, and smart people with something important to say to share their stories in a community setting. Jill is so fabulously raw that I almost can’t stand it, in the absolute best way imaginable. She is like good coffee; a perfect blend of strong, deep, dark and a little sweet. Scary Mommy is a must read for me because..well, damn it…she’s my people. I can relate to about 97% of what she blogs about verbatim. It’s like someone’s filming my crazy family:) Jill, you are not filming us ,right? Because if you are, Mama needs a stylist. Jill is not afraid to talk about any topic. You will find strength in her honesty and you will begin to crave that feeling of sisterhood and camaraderie. I double dog dare you to try and read her only once…it’s not possible. One read and you will be addicted to the scary. And if you have something on your Mommy chest that needs to be gotten rid of, you must visit her confessions ( don’t worry it’s all anonymous). You can find her here and on Twitter. There’s a little scary mommy in all of us. Go check her out, you will be glad that you did.

 

[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Courtesy of The Mommyologist

The Mommyologist ~My name is Mary, and I have been a Stay-at-Home-Mom for four years.  Settling into my new role as a mother did not happen overnight for me!  In fact, I only recently got used to the transition. I went from being a career woman who was constantly hopping on a plane to some exciting city, to my permanent position as a round the clock personal concierge to a pint-sized future comedian disguised as my adorable little son.  Motherhood is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I have finally come to love all of the quirks and challenges that make this the best job on the face of the earth, and I really couldn’t be any happier with my life, but that has definitely taken some time! Mary is the brilliance that brought us “Mom SEXY”. Not only is her blog open and witty, she tells us about all the behind the scenes mommying that your mama didn’t tell you about.  Who doesn’t love a woman that tells us her little boy farts on her while he potties? Come on, been there. Done that. And the whole “mom sexy”mantra? This lady is our biggest cheerleader. She is like the little angel in my ear saying ” Come on girl, You look Mom sexy today!WOOHOO!” I love that about her and so will you.She’s a smart cookie with a big personality. She will Zumba with the best of them, get boogers wiped on her, shake it off, drink a big glass of wine and get her Mom sexy on!She’s a lot of fun. You can find her here and on Twitter. Go check out her wonderful blog. I promise she will help you get your mom sexy back.And really, who can’t use a little extra mom sexy pep talk?

These are my fabulous five for this week. I hope that you will check them out. Have a fabulous weekend.

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

5 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
sisterhood, motherhood, similac

The sisterhood of motherhood, isn’t it a beautiful thing? Seriously, without it where would we be? My mom friends, that unbreakable sisterhood of motherhood, is what got me through those early days of motherhood. They were my tether to sanity.

When I first became a mom, it was the single most amazing and simultaneously most isolating thing that had ever happened to me. There is just something about bringing life into the world that takes a woman and elevates her expectations of the world. My first decision was to stay huddled in our home, safely away from any and all germs, until I absolutely had to leave the house; six weeks later for my check up.

Immediately, I began to hold everything to a higher standard, including myself. My mission in life became to not break the baby; the perfect, amazing, beautiful creature whom I had just brought into the world. It’s a lot of pressure.

Motherhood gives you a new perspective of the world; more insight, more tolerance, more love and bravery like you’ve never known before. 

Suddenly, I was fully aware that I was the keeper of this miracle. She was given to us perfect and any defects from here on out, was strictly on us. I was responsible for what kind of human being this sweet smelling, cooing, and loving little soul would become. It was overwhelming.

My first responsibility was to my child but once we left our bubble and went out into the real world, I realized that there are a million different ways to be a mom and how could I know for sure that my way was the best way? Keep the baby alive. That was my mantra.

Those first few years of motherhood felt like a constant “do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?” situation.

Only the ramifications were much worse than a simple explosion, I could ruin an entire human being’s life by making the wrong choice.

Okay, who thought it was a good idea to let me leave the hospital with this baby? I want to see some credentials because, clearly, they had no idea what they were doing giving a baby to me. Breathe!

I didn’t get much sleep in those days. It took a lot of time and effort doing the best I could and even more time comparing myself to other moms, not because I thought I was right but because I was sure I was doing it wrong.

By the time we started Kindermusik classes at 9-months, because a mom at the pediatrician’s office gave me a crazed look when I told her that my baby wasn’t taking any classes, I couldn’t get enough of what other mother’s had to say about the subject of motherhood. I wanted to be the best that I could be for my daughter so I was open to anything but there were so many conflicting parenting techniques. Every mom I met seemed to have a handle on parenting her child and still I felt like I was floundering, now more than ever.

Every other mom seemed to be better at motherhood than I was in those days. 

I took mental checklists in those days. Breastfed. Check. Tried to anyways. Had problems producing and used an SNS to help. Check. Drank all the Fenugreek. Failed miserably. Check. Formula. Check. Bad mom. Double Check.

I used disposable diapers. Check. Never used a binky but she could not be parted from her lovie. (Still can’t.)Check. Co-slept. Check. Never stopped. Double check. Rolled over at 3-months. Check. Rolled right off the bed. Double Check. Bad mom. Check. Sat up at 5-months. Check. Started crawling at 7-months. Check. Crawled backwards. Check minus. Started talking at 6-months. Check. Started walking at 10-months. Check. Never wanted to leave my side. Check. Frequently woke up during the night while teething and demanded the Wiggles. Double check. I let her because the crying at 3 a.m. was killing me. Bad mom. Check again.

But every mom I met seemed to do everything just a little bit better with a little more ease and looked a lot better doing it. I met several moms who went back to work and had amazing careers and parenting seemed effortless while I, on the other hand, was completely overwhelmed, always tired and looked the part. The only thing I knew was that I adored my daughter and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to be the best parent possible to her. Really, I think that is how every mother feels.

Motherhood is hard, no matter who you are.

 

We’re just scared to let the other mothers know that we don’t know everything, it’s not all easy and some parts we don’t like or even understand. We pretend it’s easy because we don’t want to be labeled the “bad mom” the one who doesn’t know what she’s doing or worse, the one who is breaking her perfect child. It’s our biggest fear.

I’d like to think in times of true need, we would all rush to one another’s rescue. As I’ve moved past the new mother stage to the mom of elementary school aged children, I realized the truth and that was that we are all exactly the same. We’re all just trying to do our best and it’s hard for all of us at times. Some parts are easy for others and some parts are harder but in the end we all just really love our babies more than we know how to handle. We all just need to give one another a break because if we helped one another out rather than compared ourselves or judged each other, we’d all be happier and better moms. You’re not alone. We all make mistakes. Just keep loving your baby and doing your best.

When is a time that you felt at the end of your mommy rope and another mom came in with a kind word or action and made your day better?

05142015

This post about motherhood is sponsored by Similac. I was compensated for this post but all opinions are my own.

2 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Michelle Gregg, Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, Lowland gorilla, Gorilla murdered, cincinnati zoo gorilla

A Cincinnati zoo gorilla, Harambe, a majestic male Silverback lowland Gorilla (listed as critically endangered), was shot dead the day after his 17th birthday when a mother visiting the zoo lost track of her 4-year-old child. In a sad turn of events, the child got away from his mom and into the gorilla enclosure in front of a crowd of social media savvy a**holes (I know because they were all too busy tweeting video to actually help.) All because of one mom’s parental negligence.  Talk about a bad parenting moment. Thankfully her son is now resting safe and sound in the hospital with just a few scrapes and bruises. That’s the good news.

Who’s to blame for all of this? In my opinion, the mom. The toddler told his mom that he was going to go into the enclosure but she ignored his threats and that’s why I feel she’s responsible for the entire situation.  I realize that I’m being judgmental but how can I not be when not only was this woman not watching her child; more specifically, she chose to ignore his direct warning that he intended to do something dangerous.

Michelle Gregg, Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, Lowland gorilla, Gorilla murdered, cincinnati zoo gorilla

If my toddler somehow ended up in the bottom of a Gorilla enclosure submerged in water with a 400 plus pound, super strong, unpredictable primate standing only inches above my child, I’d have grabbed the gun and shot the damn gorilla myself.

Who in the world let’s their toddler roam free out of sight long enough to shimmy under the clearly marked “Keep out” railings and wires of the enclosure, fall down the ravine and end up in the moat? She finally noticed that her child was in danger when other patrons started screaming? It had to take a minute for the child to escape her and make his way to the moat.

I took my girls to the zoo when they were toddlers and they were almost always strapped into their strollers as we maneuvered high traffic areas, unless they were in my arms or holding my hand. We’ve since moved past this barbaric practice; no zoos, circuses or Seas World’s for us. We go to sanctuaries, reserves, oceans and National Parks to see animals in their natural habitats.

Witnesses say the child, after being overheard telling his mother that he wanted to “get in the water”, then crawled through the railing, the bushes and fell 15-feet into the moat of the enclosure. Apparently, him telling her that he was going to do it wasn’t enough of a warning.

What’s wrong with this mom? Where was the little boy’s dad? Was anyone watching him? I’m normally of the mom and let mom parenting technique but willfully ignoring the threats of dangerous behavior ( in a dangerous place) could warrant a DCFS intervention.

Due to the negligence an innocent child was terrified and hurt and a Cincinnati Zoo Gorilla was shot and killed.

I watched many videos and read available reports on the situation. Everyone was rightfully terrified at the situation. Too bad the gorilla couldn’t be tranquilized rather than shot dead. But obviously, a human child’s life takes precedence over a gorilla’s. Zoo officials couldn’t very well stand around twiddling their thumbs while a child was drowned, mauled or crushed to death. A gorilla doesn’t know its own strength and could’ve easily seriously injured the child.

Tranquilizers could have caused the gorilla to become aggressive and hurt the child or fall on him in the interim as they waited for it to take effect. I get all of that. The thing is primates are highly intelligent animals and I think Harambe was just doing what came natural to him and he probably felt pretty scared when his handlers shot him.

I’m not a primate expert or a zoologist but it didn’t appear that he actually had any intention of hurting the child. It looked to me like he was trying to keep the baby safe until the child’s people came to collect him. I think the screaming and commotion was adding fuel to the fire and scaring both Harambe and the little boy. I think both the gorilla and the kid were both victims of this mother’s negligence.

This lady needs to be held responsible for her actions. She needs some parenting classes. I’m sure many of you think I sound like a cold-hearted witch but I watched the video (all of them) and I’m wondering why she is just standing on the sidelines screaming, “Mommy loves you!”

Lady, if you really loved your kid, maybe you should have kept your eye on him, strapped him in a stroller, held his hand and NOT let the kid wander off into the gorilla enclosure. Maybe you should have taken his warning that he was going to get into the water more seriously. That’s the part that really makes me feel like she was negligent.

I think most moms would have gone into mama bear beast mode and scaled that damn moat themselves and tried to save their baby or at the very least grabbed a zoo employee or maybe, I don’t know, sobbed at the thought of their baby possibly being beaten or killed by a gigantic primate. She did nothing…just like all the people who stood there and watched and recorded rather than actually help.

The little boy was taken to the Cincinnati Children’s hospital and is listed in stable condition after being manhandled for about 10 minutes by the gorilla. I think the bulk of the damage was probably done by the fall into the moat, the dragging around he endured while the gorilla became frightened from the screaming of the crowd or, I don’t know, the traumatization he will live with forever from seeing the giant gorilla murdered as it stood above him. Poor kid. Don’t worry kiddo your mommy loves you. She just doesn’t want to be bothered with watching you.

Word of advice if you can’t watch your kids, stay at home with the doors shut and try to keep your kids safe until they are old enough to take care of themselves. You suck! The Cincinnati zoo didn’t get the kid out of all the danger he’s facing by killing Harambe. After all, they aren’t  going home with the kid.

What did everyone think the gorilla was going to do? Eat the baby? They’re not carnivores. In my opinion, the parents’ negligence caused child endangerment.

Michelle Gregg, Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, Lowland gorilla, Gorilla murdered, cincinnati zoo gorilla

What do you think about the endangered Cincinnati zoo gorilla being murdered in cold blood because a mom couldn’t be bothered to watch her child?

18 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
mom and daughter, organization tips for mom life

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

As a mom, you know just how busy life can be. We’re always on the go and always have things that we need to do. We rarely get a moment to ourself because we’re always busy doing things and looking after everyone else. But that’s just what mom life is like – and we wouldn’t change it for the world. Well, maybe some more sleep and hours in the day would be awesome. I can’t make more hours in the day or help with your insomnia but I can help with some best organization and planning tips for mom life to make life easier.

We all wish that things could be a little bit more streamlined. And that’s only natural. We all feel that way. It’s always going to be a good thing if we can all be organized and a little more put together. We feel calmer and can go through the day with a bit more clarity. But how easy is that to do in practice?

Let’s take a look at five ideas that might be able to help you make mom life more organized.

Manage Your Finances Well

First of all, you will want to make sure that things like your finances, bills, and household paperwork is organized. It sounds crazy, but if you’re worried about this or not organized, it can affect how well you are able to manage the rest of your life.

Have a Schedule

Next up, you’re going to want to make sure that you have a daily and weekly routine too. This can be good for your kids but also for all the things that you need to do. It’ll help you to feel more organized instead of like you have too much to do and no time to do it.

Turn to Your Family

From here, you may then want to rely on some of your family more. It could even be your partner. Even having your mom close by could be really helpful for you here.

Keep Things Tidy

When it comes to the rest of your home, you’ll find that it’s a good idea for you to try and keep things as tidy as possible. A tidy home can make you feel so much more organized and together. It will also then make everything else you have to do easier too.

https://youtu.be/IjkmqbJTLBM

Make It a Mindset Thing

And finally, you’re going to want to try and make this a bit of a mindset thing. If you know that you are always thinking about things and worrying or panicking, you need to change that. Working to get more of a positive mindset can really help. When you’re able to focus on the good things, take one day at a time, and be grateful, it really does help you transform your life and everyday.

As much as it can seem like trying to be organized as a mom is impossible, it’s really not. There are always going to be things and organization tips for mom that you can do to make your days that little bit easier. To pick out what’ll work for you and see what results you get.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Parenting on Cannabis, This is your mom on drugs, marijuana moms

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Motherhood is f*cking hard. Like really freaking, punch you in the lady balls and pull your hair while running away with your big wheel and your sucker hard. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes, it’s even harder than that. But we moms, we soldier on. We push it all down, pull up our big mom panties and do all the sh*t we don’t want to do because if we don’t no one else will. Facts.

I mean does anyone think women specifically like to randomly clean up everyone else’s shit and wake up 47 times a night with cranky babies, finicky toddlers and sick children? The answer is no, Karen. Estrogen does not make us better at or even like any of those things. We love our children but all the inconveniences of motherhood…not so much. We need a release, one that won’t cause society to call us narcissistic, selfish or bad moms.

This is your mom on drugs.

Close your mouth. If you’re a mom, you know what I mean. If you’re not a mom, no one is asking for your opinion over here in “we’re tired as hell, shut the f*ck up” mom land. Forever, moms have had their hidden vices (because society judges us too harshly) some moms survive by the grace of wine o’clock, others something prescribed for anxiety, some of us should buy stock in edibles and others of us, apparently, you granola betches love a good shroom microdose. I’m not judging, edibles are my actual chill pill and I feel more in control than when prescribed Xanax.

I never tried pot in high school. I didn’t do molly, acid or cocaine in college. If we’re being really honest, growing up where I did, drugs were offered in middle school but my dad was (still is) very strict with a no drugs and alcohol policy and breaking his rules was just too big of a risk for me to take for anything. Besides, when I was in high school and college, I didn’t need chill pills because, well, I had no responsibilities, no bills and no children. I slept when I was tired. Ate when I was hungry. I did what made me happy. That’s not the case anymore. I donated my body to this thing called motherhood and I’m pretty sure when I die, my parts will be out of warranty from the sheer exhaustion and years of abuse it has sustained. I mean they call it mommy’s little helper for a reason, people.

Anyways, here I am 17 years into motherhood and my favorite thing to do after the kids go to sleep is to pop a gummy, wait an hour and see what crazy culinary concoction I will create like a mad scientist to satiate my cravings. Thankfully, the Dory brain I get from a gummy or half of one pretty much eliminates any guilt because I can’t retain such useless emotions from one moment to the next. My cannabis gummy takes down my barriers and leaves me to prioritize only what is of the most importance. But don’t try to have a conversation with me. It’s pretty much like what you would imagine having a conversation with your succulent would be like! Yeah, edibles are not good for weight loss or having intelligent conversations but they are fabulous for sleep, stopping panic attacks, and chilling right the f*ck out. That’s why I’m chunky but overall pretty happy.

Still, I’m a mom and none of the baby books say that moms, in particular, should be celebrating 4/20. But then again, what do books know and most likely those books were written by overachievers who are trying to raise babies by some crazy, unattainable parenting standard. I’m here to tell you, those of us real ones, the ones who have served on the frontlines 100% recommend cannabis over child abuse.

The truth is that parenting is hard and no book can prepare you for the reality of keeping little people alive, never mind during a pandemic. Remember, I’m speaking as the mom of teens so they are pretty self-sufficient, once I put them to bed, it’s my time. My husband doesn’t get high because it’s not his thing so he’s always sober. I only mention that my kids are older because I didn’t get high when they were little because 1) it wasn’t legal 2) most of the time I was alone with them 3) it wasn’t as accessible as it is now. But all that has changed. And I’m not judging anyone. We’re all just trying to survive over here. 

Here are some benefits of parenting on cannabis recreationally or medically.


PPD Relief

Nearly 80% of new moms experience some form of mood disturbance after giving birth, including mood swings, sadness, and irritability. One in nine mothers is diagnosed with postpartum depression, a severe mood disorder that causes prolonged withdrawal from family and friends, inability to eat and sleep, excessive mood swings, and difficulty bonding with the baby. Marijuana has been found to successfully treat postpartum depression, offering a reprieve for mothers that are unresponsive or uncomfortable with traditional medical treatment.

Treatment for Anxiety

An estimated nine percent of mothers are affected by severe postpartum anxiety, and an even larger percentage of mothers will experience anxiety over the course of their lifetime. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, women are two times more likely to suffer from anxiety than men. Occasional marijuana use has been shown to decrease symptoms of mild to severe anxiety, as well as other related disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and impulse-control disorder.

Bringing Partners Together

Couples who smoke together, stay together. Some couples report that smoking marijuana together decreases the frequency of arguments, and increases sexual satisfaction and intimacy with a partner. This can be especially useful for parents, as rates of relationship dissatisfaction increase two-fold when a couple has one or more children.

Alternative to Prescription Drugs

Prescription drug abuse among women has increased by 500% in the past decade. Now more than 18 million women over the age of 26 use prescription drugs for uses other than prescribed, and the rate of abuse is suspected to be higher in mothers than non-mothers. Marijuana offers many of the same benefits of prescription drugs, most notably pain relief, with a far lower addiction rate and fewer withdrawal symptoms.

Cannabis is not what it used to be. Getting your weed now feels like hitting up your local Genius Bar. It’s bright, white, sleek and modern and feels very exclusive and dirty but not really. All I know is that the dispensary is one of my happy places. In some ways, it’s even more magical than Disney.

Honestly, I think parents probably need to get high more than anyone else on the planet. We’re adults, with joint bank accounts, 2.5 children, bills, mortgages, tuition sandwiched in between taking care of our parents and our children all while trying our best to survive it all sober. Don’t we all deserve time, now and again, to just be a human being (apart from our parenting role) and gently float away for few hours to a place where all the beautiful things in life are amplified and all the stress and worry are muted? We do.

What’s your favorite cannabis parenting snack?

 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Michelle Gregg, Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, Lowland gorilla, Gorilla murdered, cincinnati zoo gorilla, deonne dickerson

A couple days ago, I wrote a piece about Michelle Gregg and the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla, Harambe, who was shot and killed as the result of a terrible situation gone out of control. A 4-year-old boy dodged out of his mother’s sight and found his way into the gorilla enclosure. Meanwhile his mom watched helplessly as the animal dragged the toddler around the moat like a rag doll. I can only imagine what hell that must have been.

We’ve all made mistakes and had situations with our children escalate or get out of hand in a matter of seconds. These are moments that we all wish we could change but we simply cannot. These accidents happen and all we can do is learn from them and pray we survive them.

Myself, I’ve had a 3-month-old roll off the changing table, when I turned my head for a split second to see why her 2-year-old sister was screaming bloody murder. We ended up in the ER and she was fine but I still feel terrible guilt over that.

I know toddlers are like tiny Houdinis and quite frequently bolt for doors, down streets and try to get out of your reach; most often as some sort of game. There is a unique pleasure that toddlers find in things that happen to terrify their parents. They don’t have rational thoughts so what they see as great fun, a game of tag with mommy or daddy, we find as absolutely horrific because we are acutely aware of all the things that could go wrong. That’s why we are responsible for keeping them safe. Parenting is hard work.

I remember once my 2-year-old daughter bolted off down our Cul de Sac when I was 9 months pregnant with her sister. I was terrified. I chased her down, praying all the while that she wouldn’t dart out into the road. The entire time she was looking back at me smiling, giggling and laughing. She thought it was a game. All I could think was, “Dear God, please don’t let this little person who I love more than life itself get hit by a car!” So I smiled back, using my sweet mommy voice (as not to spook her) while I was panicking inside. So see, I do understand how these things happen.

When I wrote the piece, I was very upset that the child was hurt in what appeared to be such a senseless and preventable situation and I was upset that the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla had to be put down due to human error. I lashed out in my piece. I became harsh and judgmental in my words and I shouldn’t have because the person I was putting all the blame on is only human. She is a mom I know what a labor of multitasking, exhaustion and complete love motherhood is.

I wrote the piece too early, with not enough information. While I did do my research, there was still not enough helpful information available at the time of publication for me to accurately write about the situation. It’s not an excuse but, anyone who has ever read this blog, knows that I do tend to react immediately while my emotions are still running high. It’s how I process things. It’s also why I am a blogger and not a journalist.

 

Here are a few facts about Michelle Gregg I didn’t know when I wrote the original post.

I know now from further investigating that Michelle Gregg only turned for a second and was being distracted by another of her crying children who needed her attention. She tried to go over the enclosure herself to rescue the boy but was warned by zoo officials that it would only cause the gorilla to become more aggressive. When the boy told her he was going to go into the enclosure, she told him no but when he saw his chance to get into the enclosure, he took it.

I always believed that the gorilla had to be put down in order to secure the child’s safety. That’s a no brainer, a human child’s life always holds more value than an animal’s life. I have two daughters and nothing has more value to me in the world than their lives. I’m certain that had it been my own daughter, there is nothing I wouldn’t have done to insure her safety. I’m fairly positive that I would have been down in the enclosure myself because I tend to react first and think about the consequences later.

I was very disappointed that more wasn’t done to help the child and mother before the toddler got into the enclosure. I know that some people did try to help but said they couldn’t get to the child in time but it just reminded me that we live in a world where people don’t necessarily try to help others, even when they see it happening because it might be an inconvenience. What happened to it takes a village?

Michelle Gregg, Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, Lowland gorilla, Gorilla murdered, cincinnati zoo gorilla, deonne dickerson

I’ve been in situations where I have seen a stranger’s child heading towards danger, not to this degree obviously, but about to run into a parking lot or get fingers smashed in a door and I always try to stop the child from getting hurt because how the hell could I just watch something like that happen, especially as a mother, myself? But we live in a world where sometimes when I help, the parent gives me a dirty look because I spoke to their child, completely disregarding the reasoning behind it. People just don’t go out of their way to help their fellow people like they used to.

I have no super powers and sit on no throne ( as many of my commenters facetiously stated). I don’t think that my mothering choices are beyond reproach. I’m just a mom trying to raise my children the best way that I know how.  I don’t normally make a habit out of judging other moms. Generally, I believe parents should parent however is best suited for their family.

After initially hearing that the child had told his mom that he wanted to go into the enclosure several times before hearing her side of it, I felt like the mom could have saved herself a lot of pain by just taking his warnings more seriously and locking him down; stroller, hand holding, handing off to another adult or whatever. I now know that a willful 4-year-old is going to do what he wants to do if given the chance.

It’s easy for me to say what I would have done because I am not the one who suffered the ramifications of this momentary lapse in judgement. I’m sure Michelle Gregg will feel terrible about this for the rest of her life and every time she looks into her sweet boy’s eyes she will be thankful that he is alive and acutely aware that things could’ve ended much differently.

Toddlers are quick and fearless. No matter how hard we try to be the best moms to our children, sometimes bad stuff still happens. Anyone who has ever read this blog knows that I am flawed and have made a shiton of mistakes in motherhood. In fact, that was the entire premise of this blog in the beginning.

I judged another mom harshly because I didn’t agree with her parenting choice. I had a knee-jerk reaction and I condemned a woman for making a one-time error in judgement.

I’m sorry Michelle Gregg, you’re not a terrible mom; you’re just a human, like the rest of us.

 

4 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

As a mom, how often have you felt overwhelmed and overworked in your life? Most moms will acknowledge the responsibility that is motherhood, and no matter how much help you have, it seems mothers are hardwired to carry the weight of motherhood physically. All the parts you can see and the parts you can’t see. Even if you manage to share the load with your other parent, husband, partner, chances are most moms will still feel the stress that comes with parenthood.

“A mom’s work is never done.”

More so now, during a global pandemic, moms and dads alike often forgo what they need themselves as they strive to provide for their family and keep everyone happy, safe, and healthy. Sadly, this means as parents, more often than not, your needs come last. But all the stress, worry, heartache, and mental juggling of tasks can take its toll on your mental and physical health.

Even those pushed for time need to take some time to make sure they don’t burn out and make themselves ill. Your family needs you to be healthy, and this means looking after yourself as much as everyone else. Even if you feel like you don’t have the time or you shouldn’t. Self-care needs to be standard and not classed as a luxurious treat.

Self-care can simply be the act of putting makeup or completing a full skincare routine with cream, oils, and face masks. It can be reading a book or taking a long hot bath in peace. It doesn’t matter what it is or how often you do it, as long as you do it, and it makes you feel better.

Accept help

You may be able to do it all on your own with no help, but that doesn’t mean you should. New moms, let someone take over the small tasks for you. Sure, you may not want to leave your new baby, but having someone come over to help clean up, put the dishwasher on or washing machine or simply make you a hot drink and some food can be a huge help during those first weeks of getting used to life as a new parent.

But as your family grows, learn to accept the help for what it is and not as an attack on you and your parenting skills. Having the kids go for a playdate for an hour or two can give you breathing space to do something you need to do. Be it a nap, drink a hot coffee or binge watch that show on Netflix everyone is talking about. If it makes you feel better, do it and don’t punish yourself for accepting help – a happy parent is a much better parent, don’t you think?

Eat well

How often have you tricked your child into eating healthy food to make sure they are getting all their vitamins and minerals? When was the last time you checked to make sure you were getting all of yours? Neglecting your diet can lead to unhealthy choices and a lack of energy as your body isn’t getting what it needs. If you are struggling with choosing the right foods, try meal planning, and prepping to make sure you have healthy meal options available at all times.

Supplements can help boost your required daily intake but not replace them. You shouldn’t rely on vitamin supplements to get what your body needs each day. Keep a fruit salad prepared in the fridge for a go-to snack or have healthy nuts and seeds for you to snack on during the day. Look after your body, and it will look after you. After all, as a busy parent, you need all the energy you can get.

Sleep

Easier than it looks. Parents sleep if their kids sleep at night. And if they don’t, coffee is your best friend! The baby and toddler years can be rough when it comes to sleep deprivation – especially if other parents brag about how their child sleeps through the night! You may feel like you will never get a good night’s sleep again. But little things can be done to help you fall asleep faster and make the most of the time you do have to sleep.

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” is possibly one of the more ridiculous things to say to parents. As much as you may want to nap, chances are you will have other things that need taking care of instead.

Try to find a good bedtime routine that works for you and your family. Take note of advice such as removing electronics from the bedroom, keeping the tv off at night, and having a bath before bed. Practicing yoga can help to relax you as can meditation if you can find time to get into the right mind space for it to be effective. Lavender works wonders for inducing a calming night’s sleep – for you and children too, as can using a sleep mask and the right bedding for your bedroom for any given season. You can also apply a mānuka essential oil before you sleep to combat the signs of many common skin issues such as anti-aging and acne.  Exercising in the evening can help you to burn off any pent-up energy and allow you enough of a release to sleep better at night. But, working out too close to bedtime will have the complete opposite effect—trial and error but always worth trying out.

Exercise

Taking the baby out for a walk in their stroller is exercise, as is chasing a toddler around the local park or even jumping in the pool with the family on a hot summer day.
It isn’t all about hitting the gym and pushing yourself as hard as you can. But if that is what works for you, then it can be that—a dance class with your friends or a neighborhood basketball game. Get out, get moving, and raise your heartbeat.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

Coming off this past weekend where I just spent every ounce of my energy tending to two very sick little girls, you can imagine my dismay when I called my own Mother this morning ( who was supposed to be coming for a week long visit)  only to find out she has changed her mind.

It went a little something like this:

Me: “Hi, Mommy (Yes, I still call her Mommy). So, when are you getting here?”
Mom:Hesitation in her voice, damn she must have read my FB updates about sick kiddies, “Well, I am trying to figure that out. When do you think would be best?”
Me: “Well, I thought you were coming tomorrow.”
Mom: “Well, I’m trying to figure out what will work out best for BOTH of us.”
Me: “Mom, the girls have both been sick all weekend. I am exhausted and to be honest, I think I am getting sick too. I could really use your help with the girls THIS week!”
Mom: ” Sick? What kind of sick? I think maybe I should come the week before the 4th of July.”
I think as soon as I confirmed the sickness rumors and she heard the word “sick” all she heard from then on out was white noise.

WTF????? Did she misunderstand that I just asked my MOMMY for help? What part of “I need help with the girls” is she having trouble understanding?

Me: ” Mom, are you coming or not?”
Mom: “Well, what do you think would be best?” ( I thought we just went over this!)
Me: Again, am I not speaking English? “I think I need you THIS week. The girls are getting well and will want to be playing outside and I will want to be in bed dying.”
Mom: “Ok, well you let me know.(Hello? Is this thing on?)  Oh, by the way, can you come here this weekend for you brother’s birthday party?” Commence my eye rolling and seizure having.
Me: WTF???Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Where is Ashton Kutcher, surely I must be getting punked! I love this woman but I am thoroughly confused. Apparently, we were playing a game of Chinese telephone that I had no idea that I was engaged in because she understood absolutely nothing of what I was saying.” OK, Mom. I will call you back.”

Apparently, my Mom doesn’t want to come take care of my children while I am sick but won’t actually say no. She’s from the south, they don’t like to be “ugly” about things. So, to recap; as I was being Supah Dupah Mommy this weekend taking care of any and all urges and whims of my poor sick children, my Mom is probably at home , at thsi ver moment, Lysoling the receiver to be sure she doesn’t catch my cooties through her land line. How can she be my Mom and we be such different types of Mommies? I should add that she only lives an hour away and she ALWAYS tells me , “When you are sick, if you ever need me to come help with the girls..JUST CALL!” I did! So much for that idea. Now, here I go back to my whining sick children ( Gabs is lying in bed making a sound like a dying calf) as I try my best not to go delirious with my own fever. Happy Mothering!

26 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More