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orange is the new black, netflix, streamteam, OITNB, #Streamteam, Netflix Original Series

It felt like I was waiting forever for June 12th and season three of the Netflix original series  Orange is the New Black to begin. It felt like an eternity because it always does when you are an addict waiting to get your next fix and I, my friends, am a HUGE OITNB addict. Seriously, as a #StreamTeam ambassador for Netflix, I watch a lot of Netflix and I love a lot of the Netflix original programming but Orange is the New Black is the one I find to be the most entertaining and this season did not disappoint.

Of course, OITNB debuted on Friday the 12th, while I was traveling visiting friends, obviously I couldn’t watch Netflix (though I will admit, I did sneak and watch it on my iPad late at night after everyone else had gone to bed.)I told you I have a problem. But it’s not my fault there are so many amazing funny, uplifting and dramatic well-written Netflix Originals to choose from.

I watched when I could but there was no binge watching. I know sometimes you just need to unplug and be present in your life but the timing couldn’t have been worse. Luckily, I was mostly unplugged and missed any spoilers that might have been floating around. The great thing about Netflix is that I knew that OITNB would be there waiting for me when I returned home and I binge watched the entire thing in 3 days. There’s nothing quite like a couple of good binge watching days to help cure the vacation reentry blues;)

I don’t want to spoil the season for anyone who hasn’t gotten to watch the newest season of Orange is the New Black but I will tell you this, you really get to know the characters on a deeper level this year. It’s less about Piper and more about all the supporting characters. You might even change your opinion of a few, including Piper. I would definitely say this was one of the most well written seasons to date. Now, I’m going to be biting my nails waiting for season 4!

If Orange is the New Black is not your thing, Netflix has plenty of great shows for everyone.

Speaking of which if you are like me and celebrating a good old-fashioned throw back summer with your kids, why not round out the experience with some throwback shows? I love watching shows that I watched as a child with my own children. Shows like Scooby Doo, the Smurfs, Jem, Garfield, Power Rangers, Care Bears, My Little Pony and Inspector Gadget, just to name a few. What about Knight Rider, Magnum P.I. and The A Team?

orange is the new black, netflix, streamteam, OITNB, #Streamteam, Netflix Original Series, Some assembly required

Or if you want to start watching a new show together, Netflix Original Some Assembly Required season 1 premiered on June 19th. It’s a kid’s show about a 14-year-old who takes ownership of a toy store and hires a group of his friends to help him create amazing new toys! Rated TV-G, so the entire family can enjoy it together.

If you are looking for a great drama to binge watch that will keep you on the edge of your seat, I recommend Hostages! It is addictive. I couldn’t stop watching it and I bet you won’t be able to either.

Have you watched Season 3 of Orange is the New Black on Netflix yet?

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binge watch, Bloodline, Family Travel, Netflix, orange is the new black, travel, stream team

Being a parent is a 24 hour a day, 7-day a week, 365 days a week “job” and if it weren’t for being able to sneak away to Netflix for some “me” time, I’m not sure how I’d survive it. Believe me when I tell you that I am very happy to be a part of Netflix’s stream team. Some people have hobbies or second jobs, I have Netflix to escape reality. As a parent, you are never truly off duty. Never. I feel like my life is a constant game of memory (because I’m always putting things up away from the children then trying to find it when I need it again) and hide-and-go-seek on the world’s longest loop. It is exhausting trying to not mess your kids up, filling childhood with memories and happiness while not being allowed to lose your sh*t (be human).

My girls are 9 and 11-years-old and I feel like the pregnancy brain, morphed into mommy brain and now, I have the worst case of “My kids have got to be at 27 different places at the same time, I can’t even remember where my keys are or why I walked into this room” brain ever. I think I’ll bide my time here until senility sets in.

A couple weeks ago we took our summer vacation to the East Coast and there were two consecutive days when I was confined to a hotel room with my girls. They were bored. I was trying to work and basically, it all ended in a case of too much of a good thing. I really needed a day off when we got back. Honestly, there is nothing quite like being locked in a room with kids to make you painfully aware of how precious “me” time is because when limited to one singular room, any parent will tell you…there is no escape. It’s like prison, only the bars are parenthood and social etiquette.

binge watch, Bloodline, Family Travel, Netflix, orange is the new black, travel, stream team

To get some time alone, I stayed up later than the entire family and binge watched Season 2 of Bloodline on Netflix.

By the way, this season of Bloodline was awesome. I swear, I think Danny was in this episode even more than last season which was ironic since… well,  I don’t want to spoil anything but if you watch, you know what I’m talking about!

At home, I can simply saunter off to my office or hide out in my bedroom, closet, back deck, bathroom…you get the point? But when you are trapped in a one room abode, there is no escaping. Heck, the bathroom at our hotel was one of those cool, sliding barn doors made out of green glass. It looked amazing but it had one fatal flaw; no lock.

binge watch, Bloodline, Family Travel, Netflix, orange is the new black, travel, stream team

In case you were wondering, and if you are a parent yourself you aren’t, staying up alone late at night did give me some “me” time but it was a temporary fix because eventually, I needed to sleep later than they did and so by the end of the week, I was exhausted and they were ready to go early in the morning which resulted in the inevitable, “What are we going to do today? I’m bored!” chorus that they chanted incessantly, in their little kitty voices in that ONE room. I don’t know how the pioneers did it with their one room houses.

After our 15-hour drive home from Boston, I was feeling kind of burnt out. Like our 9-day vacation was too much. Moms you know what I mean. I was on constantly. Suddenly, I felt like I had newborns again because of all the time and attention they were requiring, only they are 9 and 11 and almost as tall as me and I haven’t been in newborn/toddler mode in years. It was hard. It was like I was looking at young adults but they were usurping every ounce of energy out of me because I was their entertainment, all the time.

We got home and the exhaustion was compounding with no end in sight. Then my Mother-in-Law (God bless her) called and offered to take the girls for not one but two days. (Is it just me or did you just hear choirs of angels singing too when you read that last sentence?) I gladly obliged, I mean who am I to keep a Grandma from her granddaughters?

The first night they left just happened to coincide with the release of the new season of Orange is the New Black (OITNB) on Netflix. I am a super fan so I was super excited. I was able to indulge in an interrupted binge watch of the first few episodes. Good thing because this season is really engaging. It had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone but expect the unexpected and there will be tears of laughter and sadness.

binge watch, Bloodline, Family Travel, Netflix, orange is the new black, travel, stream team

The first day, the Big Guy took a vacation day so we slept in and had a day date. We went out for lunch to Cheddars, then we went to see The Conjuring (which is creepy and fantastically scary in the best possible way) followed by getting ourselves one of those new Caramel Espresso Granitas from Starbucks because we never get to just walk around the mall like teenagers or cool couples without children sipping on the latest Starbucks concoctions ( I really wanted to order the Pink Drink off the secret menu but I was afraid the pimply faced barista behind the counter would give me the stink eye because I’m over 22) and then, shopped in peace and silence at Von Maur

After spending a sufficient amount of time and money on ourselves, we headed home, picked up take away for dinner and just were. Remember what it feels like to just exist without it being for the soul purpose of serving little people? It was absolutely amazing.

The second day, we slept in again and after slowly sipping hot coffee got dressed and ran a few errands. Thought we were cool because we even managed to fit in grocery shopping for the week and then we got into a fender bender in the parking lot. That kind of ruined the mojo of the day but we were so well rested and happy, we just smiled like fools and handed the kid we crashed with our insurance card. It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you get to sleep.

That evening, before the girls came home, the Big Guy played Call of Duty and I watched a few more episodes of OITNB. Turns out, we both needed “me” time, “us” time and lots of sleep. By the end of the 48 hours, we both actually really missed our girls and I think they missed us too. It was good for everyone.

The thing is when you go on vacation, you usually come home needing a break from your life because vacation usually means running all over like a chicken with your head cut off, just in a different location. We all needed some time apart, we all needed sleep and now we are all much happier especially since last night, I finished the last episode of season 4 of OITNB but of course, that makes me sad too because no I have to wait a year for the next season. I have no self-control. I’m like a kid left alone in a room full of candy. Don’t ever ask the kid why he ate all the candy, ask yourself, why did you leave a kid alone in a room full of candy. OITNB is my candy.

What do you do during your “me” time to relax? Let me know in the comments below. Do you shop until you drop? Do you sleep in until you wake up on your own? Do you have a hobby?

Do you have a favorite show on Netflix to binge watch?

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Netflix, stream team, orange is teh new black, glow, sons of anarchy, friends from college , GLOW, Dear White People, Ozark

Ever find yourself wondering how to survive summertime parenting? Oh yeah, it’s definitely different from school year parenting. Sure, at first you think it’s going to be all sleeping in and hanging out and then you realize that you’re not on summer break, just the kids are. You, my friend, are about to start working double time. That’s when your “oh Ish” moment hits you like a ton of bricks.

Summer has been blasting by and I still feel like I haven’t slept in. Well, I lied, there were those 3 days back in June where we all slept in until 10 a.m. Yep, those were a magical 3 days and here it is time for school to start back in a couple of weeks.

I don’t know about you, but when I am immersed in chaos all day, I need downtime…”me” time. Just me. It’s not about being selfish, it is about survival. During the school year, it’s nice because the girls go to bed on a schedule and I know after 9 p.m., I can spend a couple hours catching up on my favorite shows before going to bed. That’s my “me” time. Me, just chilling out, not having to be anywhere or do anything or be anyone to anybody. It’s my 2 hours of the day that are just.for.me.

Netflix, stream team, orange is teh new black, glow, sons of anarchy, friends from college , GLOW, Dear White People, Ozark

I know that it sounds crazy that only 2 hours of the day are for me, but if you are a parent, you understand. The moment that baby comes into the world, you are forever number 2 in your own life and with each child, you fall further down the line. If that’s not how you are rolling, please tell me your secret because by the time I get everyone else taken care of…I’m just too tired to care about me. My priority is sleep but before I can sleep, I must decompress.

What do you do to survive summertime parenting and decompress?

The thing is during the summer months, this entire situation goes to hell in a handbasket. Sure, it is filled with long days at the pool, traveling, sunshine, barbecues, entertaining, bike rides and all that stuff your pasty white life is missing the other 9 months of the year so how can you refuse when your child, who only has 6 more summers in your house, asks you to forgo your “me” time for some “we” time? You don’t. You give her all of it because damn it, 6 more years is not long enough.

Sounds wonderful, right? It is. Mostly. Except, even though my heart wants to give her all the “we” time I can. My brain needs a break. I need to decompress before I explode. She’s off for the summer because of school but I still have to work, now with kids home asking me to stop working to go someplace or do something or swim or bike or hike or make brownies or have a gaggle of 12-year-old girls spend the night. Do you have any idea how much 12-year-old girls talk? More. Than.me! I didn’t even think that was humanly possible.

So, I do all the things. I never exhale until they go to bed, which is no longer between 8 and 9 pm. Nope, I have 2 tweens, so sometimes while I’m trying to decompress bingeing out on  GLOW, Friends from College, Sons of Anarchy, Dear White People, Ozark, Orange is the New Black or The Incredible Jessica James (yes, I binge more than one show at a time) on Netflix, they saunter in at 10 p.m. to tell me what Kelly and Amy said about Jessica and Brittney and I listen because I’m a mom and pretty soon, they won’t want to talk to me at all. It’s like they can feel the shift in the universe when I start to relax and they can’t let that happen.

Netflix, stream team, orange is teh new black, glow, sons of anarchy, friends from college , GLOW, Dear White People, Ozark

 

Though I must admit, sometimes, I want to run my head into the wall because I just would rather find out what Jax is going to do to Clay than why one 12-year-old girl thinks another 12-year-old girl doesn’t like her because she didn’t notice that she was wearing a new bobbi pin. I mean cheese and rice; how many years did I endure Calliou? Calliou!!!That whiny little bald child and Max and a Ruby, where were their parents? Not listening to whining, that’s where. And now, they won’t even let me get through one episode without busting in to ask me why the sky is blue?

Don’t get me wrong, I want to know everything my girls want to tell me. I am all about the open dialogue but remember when the kids were toddlers and they kept asking for water from the bed so they could stall out bedtime? Yep, I think talking this bobbi pin situation is a bedtime stalling technique and I’d just rather turn my brain off and watch the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling body slam each other all over the place. I don’t want to worry about how a bobbi pin is going to put my tweens into therapy. It’s too much.

I really think my bingeing makes me a better mom to them. I need that alone time to feel like a person who has adult thoughts and isn’t just someone’s mom. Seriously, I’m so used to being referred to as Bella and Gabi’s mom that I find myself in the grocery story walking between a person and a shelf saying, “excuse us” even when I’m alone because, really, I’m never alone. As a mom, my kids are always with me, on my mind. I desperately need those bingeing after dark nights to center.

I hear things like yoga and working out help too but really, I’d rather just take a hot shower, throw on my pjs and chill with the Big Guy (or alone) and watch Netflix in beautiful silence, with only the sweet sound of Jax Teller telling people to get the eff out of his way or he’ll shoot them in the face. Call me weird, but I find it quite soothing. The point is I don’t feel guilty about bingeing. I need it. They need it. You need it.

What do you do to decompress? Do you ever sneak and binge watch shows? What’s your favorite Netflix sneak and binge?

Disclosure: I am a Netflix Stream Team member but my full on Netflix addiction was in place way before I was part of the team and the tips to survive summertime parenting are all me.

Netflix, stream team, orange is teh new black, glow, sons of anarchy, friends from college , GLOW, Dear White People, Ozark

Update: So as I was looking for pictures for this post, I realized my kids are awesome. We had so much fun this summer but still, even with all that love I’ve got for them…I need some for myself too.

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Netflix, roadtrip, Streamteam, travel, children

The holidays are my favorite time of year. There is just something about the chaos of it all that makes me energized. I thrive on the craziness. It’s my happy place, especially when you add in baked goods, holiday music and all the twinkling lights your heart can desire. There is one part however that I could give a good pass on; holiday travel.

It’s not that I don’t like traveling. I love it. I love visiting family. I love going home. I love seeing new sites and old ones too. I even love the actual act of traveling…the journey, not just the destination but during the holidays, traffic is a special kind of hell. Everyone is trying to get somewhere and all of us are getting nowhere fast. There is nothing I hate more than being stuck. The worst kind of stuck is in an enclosed compartment for long hours with no possibility of escape and children.

My children have fortunately inherited my wanderlust and verve for life. They’ve unfortunately also inherited my lack of patience. On the precipice of tweendom, they are far more pleasing travel companions than they were as toddlers. Aside from the occasional, about 25 times an hour, inquiry, “are we there yet?” they tolerate long trips very well. Nothing a pair of good noise canceling headphones can’t rectify. But when they were tiny, as cute as they were, they were the worst.

Road tripping with toddlers is not for the weak. A few years back on a quick trip to Virginia to check out the city for a job move, we found this out the hard way. The girls were just about 2 and 4-years-old. We decided in our youth and naiveté that a long drive across the country was just what our sanity needed.

The area was one of the most gorgeous parts of the country that I’ve ever been. The weather was perfect, the scenery beautiful, large metropolitan cities concealed by nature. There as nothing not to love about the destination.

The 12-hour journey with toddlers, however, left much to be desired. My, otherwise, sweet loving girls apparently had a time limit to being constrained in those 5 point harnesses. On a good day that was a trip across town. You can imagine their state of mind at the very thought of taking their very first long road trip imprisoned in those body shackles.

My rambunctious eldest insisted on asking, every 20 minutes, “Are we there yet?” I always thought that question was a parenting cliché but now I realize that it is, in fact, the truth of traveling with children. I never realized how frazzling that could be to me as a person. I thought “those” moms have no patience. Just say, “Not yet, in a little while.” Why all the overreaction? Then I realized that it can actually bring you to the brink of insanity and make a grown woman ugly cry if asked in the right voice and enough times over a 12-hour period.

While the oldest was hitting us with the barrage of “Are we there yet”s the youngest was freaking out over a gnat. Yes, a gnat, that supposedly must have been the scariest, meanest, baby eating gnat you ever did see because, god bless her little bitty heart, she screamed bloody murder for at least 3 hours of the trip. We were all ticking time bombs.

In summation, my 4-year-old was wondering if we were there yet, every single second of every single minute we were on the road. My 2-year-old was being terrorized by a gnat and screaming so highly pitched, that all the dogs of the world were seeking her out to eat her and end the misery. I was on the brink of insanity, on the verge of losing the battle and my poor beloved husband was trying to plot his course to the nearest gunsmith to rent a gun and buy a bullet.

Then I pulled out my bag of tricks because obviously, the 1200 DVDs that I brought were not holding their attention. First, we colored (you know those Wonder Crayola colors that magically appear on the special paper but nothing else. That’s what you think, but that’s another story entirely), then we colored the glittery ones, then we colored My Little Pony. We sang, only the songs that they know so we had Bella’s favorites, “Twinkle, Twinkle” and “Mary had a little Lamb” and Gabi’s favorites “Happy Burtday to you!” and ” Five, Five Dolla..Five Dolla foot long!”

Yes, my 2-year-old was obsessed with the Subway commercial jingle. Have you any idea how many times they used to play that thing? I do, because she sang it incessantly for her second year. Don’t get me wrong, in the right context, it was absolutely adorable. She was the cutest thing that ever walked the earth, besides her sister, of course, but everything in moderation. Interrupted only by the “Are we there yet?” inquiry of her sister.

So on the brink of insanity, on the way to the gun shop, we stopped at lunch to let them stretch their tiny legs at some wayward Wendy’s in West Virginia. Not my idea, have you seen Wrong Turn?

We got lunch, they had ants in their pants and couldn’t keep still. We got the food, the chicken flavored whatsamanuggets are not done, still doughy,”EWWWW, gross”, as my daughter liked to say. I returned them. We waited again, I returned with nuggets, all is good in the land.

Then a “fly” dared to descend upon the table. All hell broke loose. Toddlers jumping everywhere, screaming, crying, running away in terror. I mentioned it was a fly and not Godzilla, right? Not a horsefly, just a regular old house fly! In true fix the situation fast fashion, I took off my flip flop and the untimely death of one unsuspecting fly ensued. All was good in the land.

Then Gabs, because all of the attention we just received was apparently not enough for her, screamed, at the absolute top of her lungs “EWWWW, FAARTED.Stinks”. Absolutely, mortified, I say ” OK, honey, it’s OK.” Then I realize, amongst all of the commotion, she did not have any kind of flatulation incident. Apparently, she just thought it was funny and liked to take credit, really loudly.

The point of all of this recounted trauma is that I am so thankful for things like Netflix and noise canceling headphones and toddlers who have grown into tweens who now find many ways of entertaining themselves. Daddy’s hotspot has saved us all many times on long road trips to Disney.

If you are looking for something to binge on your next long trip. My top recommendations are Alias Grace, Godless, She’s Gotta Have it, Glitch, Frontier, Man Down and Stranger Things.

For the tweens, I recommend Riverdale, Stranger Things, Anne with an E and my girls’ favorite, Project MC2.

Netflix, Streamteam, travel, childrenFor the toddlers/preschoolers whom I adore, Octonauts, Beat Bugs, Super Monsters, PJMasks and Word Party which are all available for download.

Netflix, Streamteam, travel, childrenSpeaking of long drives to Disney World, did I mention all of the amazing Disney Movies that Netflix currently has in the queue? What are you binging right now?

Disclosure: I am a member of Netflix’s #StreamTeam but all opinions and genuine love for Netflix are my own.

 

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Netflix, cheater, cheating, binge-worthy shows

Are you a cheater? Have you ever told the person that you love the most a lie to satisfy your own id? I think most of us have, right? At first you think, who’s it going to hurt. Don’t ask; don’t tell. More like take the junk to the grave. If you’re going to cheat, the least you can do is keep it to yourself. Telling your partner that you’ve cheated is not going to help them at all. You did the crime, now do the time. Live with your guilt.

You see, this is why the Big Guy and I can’t ever do the Netflix and chill thing. He is all about the chill part but not about the Netflix binge part. I’m a closer. I like to pick my show and then binge it to the end. I am nothing if not committed to finishing my shows. So sometimes, I have to cheat.

He knows I do it. We don’t discuss it. It’s not a big deal. We are open about it. I am just not built to be a once-in-awhile show watcher. We’ve actually just given up trying because it’s just too frustrating and someone always gets hurt so we’ve decided it’s just easier if he does him and I do me.

Netflix, cheater, cheating, binge-worthy shows

For example, we started watching One Day at a Time Together but he likes to savor the moments and draw out the season. I am more of a wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am! Kind of a gal so he falls asleep and I watch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. Needless to say, I finished the series in a weekend and he still hasn’t caught up. It really was THAT good.

Then there was A Series of Unfortunate Events that we just couldn’t agree on a time to watch it so I watched it with the girls and he watched it while we were at ballet. We all agreed that the show was definitely cheat worthy because we all loved it.

Netflix, cheater, cheating, binge-worthy shows

But then there are shows like the Santa Clarita Diet that we all must watch together. It’s the kind of show that brings us back together and reminds us of why we fell in love in the first place, because we just get each other completely.

I’d definitely hide a body for him and I’m pretty sure he’d do just about anything in his power to keep me from turning into a zombie. I mean, I’m pretty difficult just when I’m hangry. I’d never cheat on him by watching the Santa Clarita Diet alone.

Netflix, cheater, cheating, binge-worthy shows

 

But then again, I won’t lie, when House of Cards returns this May, I won’t even pretend that I’m not doing it. The simple fact is that I will be cheating my way through it within a weekend. But don’t feel too bad for the Big Guy, I’ll be doing the Netflixing but we’ll be doing the chillin’ together. He’s the only one I ever want to Netflix and Chill with. I mean come on, I’m a show cheater not a real one.

What Netflix show can you not help but cheating and watching ahead on? Come on you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone.

Disclosure: This post was not compensated though I am a member of the Stream Team. All opinions and binge watching habits are my own.

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Giveaway, Beat Bugs, Netflix, Stream Team

Why is it that toddlers always want to watch the same show on repeat over and over again?

Maybe it’s something about the comfort of routine or maybe toddlers just have really addictive personalities. All I know is that there were a couple years when I thought the Wiggles were going to drive me insane. This is one of the perks of being a Netflix stream team member, there is a great variety to choose from.

But whether it’s the Wiggles, Calliou, Yo Gabba Gabba or Max and Ruby little kid’s like to sink their teeth into a show and never let it go. I can’t tell you how many times I wished there was a compromise where they loved something that wouldn’t drive me batshit crazy listening to it.  I mean why couldn’t there be a cartoon made up entirely of contemporary hits, maybe a really cool cartoon featuring 1980’s new wave music ( like an animated John Hughes movie for toddlers) or how about a kid’s show that highlighted some classic rock that we could get down with?

Giveaway, Beat Bugs, Netflix, Stream Team

Well, the wait is over, because Netflix has created a new cartoon for kids called Beat Bugs and it features not only awesome life lessons for the kiddos but the soundtrack is all Beatles all the time. What? Yes, finally we parents can be jamming out to good solid rock songs in the background as we perpetually clean the house, cook chicken nuggets or try to wrangle babies to bed. It’s a game changer. Finally, no more whining Calliou in the background adding insult to injury. Sure, I’m still holding my breath on that whole John Hughes soundtracked animated feature but Beat Bugs is definitely progress.

I watched the first few episodes with my daughters who are a little older than toddlers, 9 and 11-years old to be exact, and they both thought the cartoon was cute but they loved the soundtrack so much that they’ve been listening to it on repeat on iMusic for a couple weeks and I don’t even feel a little bit like I want to throw the speaker out of the window.

We think the music alone makes Beat Bugs great for all ages but if that’s not your cup of tea, Dawn of the Croods is back with a new season, XOXO is a great movie for tweens and for the adults, I just binge watched Blackstone, a fantastic drama series that takes place on a firsts nation reservation in Alberta, Canada.

No matter what you like to watch on Netflix, thanks to Netflix I am offering one lucky reader a 6-month free subscription card. All you need to do is enter and one lucky winner will be chosen. Mandatory entry: Share your best #BeatBugs performance in a photo or video using the hashtag and sharing the link with me here in the comments.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Intuit Quickbooks, self-employment, freelancer

I am unbreakable. This is what I tell myself every day. Bendable, certainly but unbreakable. It’s been a crazy week. I’ve been completely and utterly useless. I was at an amazing conference last week but unfortunately, due to jetlag, my brain is fried this week. It’s the price I pay for one amazing conference full of learning. You know how they say beauty is pain? Well, learning is exhausting. I’ve been trying to take all the excitement that I’ve brought back with me and focus it into results.

Then Monday morning, my back went out. I was, literally, flat on my back for most of this week. So I was forced to let my brain and my back rest.

I reminded myself, ” You are unbreakable!”

Obviously, I turned to Netflix. I mean, who doesn’t binge watch House of Cards when they’re jetlagged and immobile? How lucky was I that its debut of season 3 would coincide with my return from Los Angeles and wonky back?

Not going to lie, I’ve not finished yet. Deadlines, ya know? This week I’ve felt like I needed one of those astronaut pens (in laptop form) because I’ve been typing from flat on my back. House of cards has been good so far. Lots of unexpected plot twists and turns and of course, the madness that is the interworking of the twisted mind of the Underwoods.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable, motherhood, Netflix

But today, I turned my attention to Netflix’s latest original series by TINA FEY (how could this not be good!)Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It is awesome! I don’t want to give too much away but the plot is about Kimmy Schmidt a 20 something from Indiana who has been locked in a bomb bunker for the past 15 years with 3 other women and one crazy preacher under the belief that the apocalypse had happened in 2000. She finds out that her “savior” was actually her kidnapper. The show picks up as Kimmy and the others are rescued and they begin life above ground.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable, motherhood, Netflix

She is definitely unbreakable.

I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but the preacher is someone who you would NOT expect and *Spoiler alert* Tina Fey might make an appearance! I binge watched the entire season in 1 day. I love Netflix but I really have to learn to pace myself. I found this funny, sweet show to be uplifting and inspiring and it made me think, why shouldn’t we live every day like life is new and wonderful?

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable, motherhood, Netflix

Kimmy emerging from her 15 years underground reminds me a lot of motherhood. I’ve been a mother for ten years ( on Tuesday) and on some days, I feel like I have been living in a hole for those 10 years; a beautiful, cozy, full of love, void of sleep and regular meals hole but a hole just the same. For the past 10 years, my entire life has selflessly revolved around my two young daughters and that’s okay. It’s everything I ever wanted. I’m proud of that. They truly have made my life better and more purposeful. My priorities have shifted in ways that I couldn’t even have comprehended before I gave birth.

I put my career and my life on hold, to stay home and be their mother because it really is the most important thing that I will ever do. Growing and raising human beings is a miracle and a privilege but it takes your everything, especially when children are young. I willingly give everything. I see the dividends in my daughters, every single day.

But now, the girls are getting older and they don’t need me as much. They can do almost everything menial for themselves. I am only here to guide the way, be their constant source of continued unconditional love and support and their biggest advocate. Suddenly, I’ve found myself with a few hours a day of quiet, personal time. I’m able to attend conferences and travel for work.

It’s like a fog is lifting and while I may not be needed to kiss booboos and scare away things that go bump in the night as often, I am now becoming the example of the kind of woman I want my daughters to look up to as a role model. The fog of exhaustion has lifted and I can clearly see what my purpose in life is and it feels incredible to be able to know something so certainly with such clear perspective. I will always see the world through mom colored glasses, I am a mom but the role is evolving and so must I adapt too.

What has been your biggest defining moment in life so far?

Disclaimer: I am a member of Netflix Streamteam but all love of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and House of Cards are all my own.

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Netflix, #StreamTeam, Bloodline

I’ve got a new addiction and it’s called Bloodline. I know that I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam and it’s actually my “job” to watch Netflix. I’m living the dream, people. Who are we kidding? I’d be doing it anyways but this way when the Big Guy gives me a hard time about watching a whole season of House of Cards, Derek, Orange is the New Black, BBC Shameless, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt or my new favorite, Bloodline (to mention a few) I can say, “ Hey, leave me alone, I’m working over here!”

Speaking of my favorite new show, Bloodline, what would you do if your brother killed someone? Would you call the police or help him hide the body? How many times have you been in a position in your life where you thought to yourself, the things we do for family! Well, that’s the premise the new Netflix hit Bloodline is built upon. It is full of great writing, complex characters and it is a thriller in the best kind of way!

I wasn’t sure that I wanted to get invested in the show or the family the show follows, the Rayburns, because I hadn’t heard much about it. I mean it’s about a seemingly middle class family who happen to live in the paradise that is the Florida Keys. What could be that enthralling about middle class perfection, right?

Wrong. One episode and I was hooked. This family has skeletons piled upon skeletons in every single closet and each is hiding their closet from the other. Perfect parents? No such things. Good upstanding citizens? Nope, not even the sheriff or the lawyer in the family. Nothing is what it seems. There is something about high suspense and family drama (especially when it’s not my own) that pulls me and keeps me invested.

I got so hooked, I binge watched the entire season in a week. I stayed up way past my bedtime every night because I had to know what was happening to these complicated, “normal” people who had such a crazy past that it had to eventually come to the surface, no matter how hard they all tried to pretend it never happened.

Have you watched it yet? What are you waiting for? I finished the season. Now, I’m patiently waiting for May’s new releases. I’ll tell you more about that soon.

What’s your favorite Netflix show to binge watch?

Have you watched Bloodline?

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Gilmore Girls, #Streamteam, Netflix, mother/daughter relationship

As I walked around downtown earlier this week with my daughter and her friends,  I watched her. Not like a crazy stalker or anything, but like a sociologist studying human behavior. Have you ever really watched your children, when they don’t know anyone’s paying attention? They are pretty incredible.

She’s 9-years-old, she’s growing up so fast. She’s not the little kid who clung to me anymore. She is independent and funny, quirky, smart and kind. I see her give hello smiles to elderly women, I watch as she holds the door for the mother with small kids and I see her begin to think before she speaks. My heart is filled with pride. I did that or at least, I had a hand in it.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about all the things I’m most thankful for and there is nothing I’m more thankful for than my girls and the gift of being their mother. I know parents are not supposed to be their kid’s “friend” because it blurs the line of authority but I’m not sure that I believe that entirely. I want my girls to know that no matter what, I have their back but I also want them to respect me enough as their mother to not take advantage of that relationship.I want them to feel comfortable talking to me about anything without fear of judgment. Motherhood is a tricky balance of full on never-ending, unconditional love,  complete trust and respecting the relationship  just enough to listen to one another, even when they don’t want to.

When Bella was a toddler, the Big Guy and I used to watch the Gilmore Girls. Every week the theme song would start playing and my toddler would get super excited (in that way that only toddlers can) and start dancing in that bouncy little way that cruisers do; with a smile from ear to ear. That child made me fall in love with the Gilmore Girls.

I remember watching and imagining having the kind of mother/daughter relationship with my girl as Lorelai Gilmore had with her daughter, Rory. My toddler was dancing and I was dreaming about 15 years down the road, secretly hoping she’d want me to be her best friend one day.

The show ended and time passed, I had another daughter. Life moved on. We stepped on this ride of children growing up and it just keeps speeding up. There is so much going on in our day-to-day that it’s hard to ever see the big picture these days. Parenthood is truly the definition of not being able to see the forest for the trees but once in awhile when we slow down, for just a moment and notice, we can see all the potential of what this all means like when I watched my girl on the field trip, navigating the city, catching snowflakes on her tongue and being just a little silly but still cooler than I ever was at her age. I can see the Rory she is becoming.

I still see that toddler bouncing around to Carole King singing Where You Lead. It gets me every damn time. This is what parenthood is; misery peppered with profound moments of bliss. Honestly, its more like hours on end of minutia where all the real memories are made; the menial tasks of the day-to-day. The long talks about nothing, the goodnight kisses, the laughter and the tears. The good stuff happens when you aren’t even paying attention; the growing up and the growing closer . I’ve come to realize that there is  something closer than a toddler’s unadulterated blind love for her mommy and that is a child, a young lady, a woman …a daughter, who chooses you. I blame the Gilmore Girls because it made me believe that moms and daughters can be best friends. That’s what I’ve hoped and planned for.

For now, we’ll be cuddled up on the sofa with our girls watching the Gilmore Girls together on Netflix because BONUS, Gilmore Girls are on Netflix and in January Friends is coming!

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix Stream Team but all opinions are my own.

 

 

 

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Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

Take my hand, stay Joanne
Heaven’s not ready for you
Every part of my aching heart
Needs you more than the angels do

 

Earlier this month, my Aunt died and suddenly, I was consumed with people and things that I had pushed down into the deepest recesses of my heart. I was stunned and shocked and it brought up all of these feelings of loss for me; from the life-changing loss of my own pregnancy to the close losses of my Uncle Ramon, my Uncle Narciso and then that took me down a rabbit hole of what ifs…what happens when my parents die. How will I survive? You survive by going on, putting one foot in front of the other and smiling when you feel like dying and wearing big sunglasses so no one sees the constant tears in your eyes.

I watched my uncle and his sons willing with everything inside of them to stay upright when all they wanted to do was collapse into that all too familiar, to me, fetal position on the floor. It’s been 5 years but I remember that feeling of utter hopelessness and unrecoverable loss that leaves you discombobulated and broken beyond repair like it was yesterday. All I could do was love them and try to be there to lean on.

Loss and grief are a bizarre thing. They can take any form they want at any time. I always refer to them as emotional time bombs but make no mistake, they can be absolutely nuclear on impact. One minute you are laughing at something funny you are remembering about the person you lost, then maybe you are smiling remembering their smile or the way they held your hand, then the next you are so angry that you want to punch the entire world in the throat and still in another you are overcome with sadness and emptiness realizing you will never hear them speak your name ever again and sometimes, that is too much to stay standing.

It’s bad enough when you are the one it’s happening to but it is so much worse, for me anyway, to helplessly watch as someone I love goes through it. All I want to do is make it better for them but I know from experience that the only way to truly get through it is to feel every single one of those feelings. It’s nature’s way of severing the tether in a slow, gradual way. Our minds can’t handle pure pain all at once. I remember feeling like I would surely break and yet, I survived. I am definitely scarred by each loss, some more than others, but they leave their mark.

 

If you could I know that you’d stay
We both know things don’t work that way
I promised I wouldn’t say goodbye
So I grin and my voice gets thin

Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’?
Goin’, girl?
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’?
Goin’, girl?

 

I don’t normally find that any two losses are the same, not equal even to ourselves and they all manifest differently. Grieving is something so very personal. There is no right or wrong way to do it. We all just try to survive from one day to the next. The thing is it doesn’t just affect us. It has ripples and it changes everyone it touches.

Recently, I watched a documentary on Netflix, Gaga: Five foot Two and I felt a connection to her song, Joanne. I think by seeing the documentary and learning more about her life and the meaning behind the song, I could relate to her vulnerability in a way I never have before. I saw the woman, Stefani Germanotta, and not the icon Lady Gaga and honestly, I found her so endearing in her vulnerability.

Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

 

You know we tend to put up fences and build walls around ourselves to protect us from public scrutiny. I don’t just mean celebrities like Lady Gaga but each and every one of us. It’s human nature to preserve our most vulnerable parts. Mine’s always been more of a see-thru chain link that you can see what’s going on but still, I protect myself. That’s one of the reasons that I don’t do a lot of videos. You’ve read about my howling in pain and grief at the loss of my pregnancy but you never actually saw it because there’s a vulnerability even I can’t go to about some things.

Anyways, this documentary has me full of admiration for what Stefani Germanotta does and who she is in spite of however much pain she is suffering. She uses it to fuel her art. She is no one’s victim. She is honest, raw, funny and completely in love with her family and her fans. She’s a fierce and mighty woman and in her movie you see the sacrifices she makes for her art. She is a bootstrapper. This is something we share in common.

I have a theory that everybody in the world chooses to either be a victim and wallow in their circumstances or pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become stronger because of the hard parts. There is no such thing as try, we have to choose one or the other and do it. I refuse to lay down and give up; that’s not me. I don’t even know how to do that. I tried once. It didn’t take.

Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

 

I’ve been listening to Joanne almost constantly since seeing the documentary and it has become an anthem for strength for me. It’s about letting go, even when you don’t want to. It’s about the sadness and beauty in having had the chance to love someone, maybe even someone you never got the chance to properly meet, and the pain and vulnerability of maneuvering through those most painful moments in your life.

It’s about embracing that vulnerability, relinquishing control and giving yourself over to the acceptance of the pain of the loss. Swimming in the letting go, letting it wash over you like warm waves in the sunshine is the only way to become one with it. It’s the only way to survive it and it is beautiful and ugly and amazing and horrible all at the same time.

 

Honestly, I know where you’re goin’
And baby, you’re just movin’ on
And I after love you even if I can’t
See you anymore can’t wait to see you soar

Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’
Goin’, girl?
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’
Goin’, girl?

 

Have you seen the Netflix documentary Gaga; Five Foot Two and if not, please do and tell me what you think in the comments.

Disclosure: I am a Netflix StreamTeam member but the above post about my new found admiration for Lady Gaga and my connection with the documentary Gaga: Five Feet Two and the album Joanne are all my own.

 

 

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