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  • Permission to Be….Ourselves

    Permission to Be….Ourselves

    Why do we need permission? Who made these rules we all live by? In the last 24 hours I have went against my “better” judgment twice and both were better choices for me. Yesterday, I was tired and instead of doing what I normally do and miserably powering through my day and just getting things done. Going through the motions really. I stopped. I turned on the fan, closed the blinds and cuddled into my bed and napped for 3 hours. Right there in broad daylight, like I was a baby or a woman of leisure. I woke up and I felt rested and happy. I was in a great mood when I picked up my children from school. I was more patient and kind. I was a better mother than the miserably exhausted person who was there that morning before the nap. I cooked a big dinner and enjoyed the process. I never enjoy the process. It’s usually something that I do because I have to, like laundry. The dinner tasted great. Everything was better but it was all tinged with my secret…the nap. I felt guilty; guilty for actually responding to the needs of my own body. What craziness is that? If I don’t take care of myself, who will? I told my husband my dirty little secret, the nap, and he did not make fun of me or say something flip, he was genuinely glad that I gave my body what it needed. The guilt was lifted and now naps are on the table☺

    This is the problem with so many of us. We go through life doing what is expected of us and we are miserable. Who made these rules that we have to follow x, y and z in life? We feel beholden to a certain way of parenting, being married, achieving success even being physically acceptable. If we don’t fit the mold then we feel guilty because obviously we’ve don’t something wrong. We have some deficit. I say fuck the mold. I want to break the mold.

    We accept these expectations of us to be fact. They are not! Why are we all made to believe that life is a spinning wheel and once we choose a wheel we are confined to it like a prison for all of eternity? It’s not true and if we just took a minute to think about it logically. If we took a moment to breathe and trust our own instincts, to listen to our own heart, we would realize that we know what is best for ourselves, for our relationships and for our children.

    Every day is the chance for a new beginning. I am tired of spinning that wheel that chose me. I want to do what I choose to do; not what life has chosen for me. I want to choose the path my life takes, not follow the path expected of me. I want to be who I want to be not who I am expected to be and more importantly I want to be happy. No one knows what can make me happy and no one can truly make me happy, that is something that I have to take responsibility for. Happiness is internal. It is fulfillment and every person’s fulfillment is different.

    I lie awake at night with insomnia worried about all of the things that I didn’t do or need to do the next day because it’s what’s expected of me. I usually go against my better judgment and do what’s expected of me from society. But this morning, after I dropped my daughters off at school as I was pulling out, the car in front of me died. It was a mother who had rushed out the door 2 blocks and ran out of gas. I asked her what happened and she explained. My brother, whose sons also go to the same school, was pulling up as I was pulling over to park to help her. We both got out of our cars and pushed her out of the road and into the median at school. I let her use my phone to call her husband to bring her gas and then I drove her home. Now, to be clear, this is not something I would normally do because you know …I don’t know her. She could have been a psycho or she could have just been a stranded mom. I chose to believe she was someone who genuinely needed my help.

    After I dropped her off, I even called the school to make sure they didn’t tow her car because she was so overwhelmed at the situation I doubt she remembered to call them. When I dropped her off, she genuinely thanked me. Someone let me help them. This made my day. It felt great to help her. I felt like I did something good.

    The thing is a lot of people just backed out and went around her. It didn’t matter to them that it was 5 degrees out and snowing. It didn’t matter to them that there might have been children in a minivan leaving a Catholic school. They just went around. I don’t blame them because we live in a time where we walk past beggars in the street because we don’t know if they are going to use the money for food or for alcohol or drugs. We don’t stop and help stranded drivers because they could be crazed serial killers who might chop us to bits. We don’t let our kids play outside unattended because everyone’s a potential kidnapper or pedophile. We’ve become conditioned to not trust anyone and our skepticism is keeping us from being the good people we want to be. Our cynicism is keeping us from committing the random acts of kindness we all talk so much about. Don’t get me wrong, an unexpected free cup of Starbucks coffee is fantastic but we can do so much more. We can truly help people in need. We can be happy.

    It’s true, we can’t know the hearts of others. We can’t dictate how a homeless person spends the money we give them. We could bring them food or clothes instead of money, I suppose. What we can dictate is how we react to the situation. That is all we can control. We can choose to do the right thing. We can choose to be those changes we want to be. We can choose to follow our hearts and not do what others expect of us because when we do what is expected, we fail everyone, most of all ourselves.

    happiness, choice, being a good person

    So, I am asking you today to make the decision to follow your heart, listen to your body and do not measure yourself by anyone else’s standards. Be you. Be happy. Love big. Live big. Give of yourself and you will be surprised at what you get in return. In place of going through the motions, you will find yourself living no holds barred out loud and fully. Maybe even taking a much needed nap.

    What would you do if you followed your heart? What would make you happy? Give yourself permission to be you.

  • Change~I just had a Come To Jesus Meeting..with Jose!

    Change~I just had a Come To Jesus Meeting..with Jose!

    *Change anyone?* It’s that time of year again. You know what ‘m referring to, no not back-to-school, that was Monday. It’s a little over a month until my birthday and you know that can only mean ONE thing…mental, physical and spiritual inventory must be taken. This is my process so this morning I had my first ( of what will be many, many) come to Jesus meetings over the next year. I had it with Jose. No, it’s not some nickname we Latinos have for the almighty, it’s my little brother who is one ( as I found out the hard way this morning) hardcore, ass kicking personal trainer.Seriously, it’s his profession. I knew that he knew how to take care of himself, obviously. He’s always been in top physical shape since he was old enough to lift his first dumbbell. But we’ve never lived in the same city. Now, we do. This is Jose.

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    change
    This is Jose. This is 200 lbs. of badass personal training in a 160 lb. bag of cuteness.I think the photo says it all *Charming*

    He who rejects change is the architect of decay~Harold Wilson

    Doesn’t he look sweet? That’s what I thought. What you are looking at, my friends, is my salvation ( physically speaking anyways). Two years ago, we moved to a new city. My life hit the reset button. I joined Weight Watchers and lost 25 pounds. Life was good. Then the Big Guy was downsized. Life was not so good.I had to quit the program and since I am very apparently a stress eater, I ate those 25 pounds right back on and with them came a few more. I was depressed about it. Former eating disorder girl say what. It’s really hard trying to stay the straight and narrow when what you are doing is so NOT working. But I do. I fight the urge every day to seek the comfort of the path that I know. I fight to be a good example for my girls. I fight to be the change I want to see in the world for the young girls today. I want to be better than my circumstances.

    Then last year, right smack dab in the middle of the whole commuter marriage fiasco, I was offered an amazing opportunity to be a Nutrisystem Nation Blogger. Again, I lost that 20 pounds and felt amazing. But then life started spinning out of control again. Then we had to put the house on the market, we were going to be moving and I was stressed beyond capacity. There was my old friend ( arch nemesis) food to comfort away the uncertainty. That is if comfort means to bury it deep down and surround it by a giant hug of fat. But the only uncertainty it remedied was the uncertainty of whether or not I would gain back those 20 pounds again. Guess what? I did! What can I say those damn 20 pounds llloooovvvveeee me! Me, not so much feeling that love.

    If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit

    That brings us to this morning. We are moved. I am hitting the reset again. Hopefully for the last time for a long time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am happy. I know it. I feel it in my very core ( well, that and a terrible side stitch that I haven’t been able to shake since my brother boot-camp). I have committed myself to the drill Sargent my little brother and made a promise to myself…I will feel comfortable in this skin of mine.Body dysmorphic disorder and Bulimia/Anorexia can all be damned. I’m not having it, ever again. With the  help of my brother, the MOST invested, no nonsense personal trainer that anyone could ever ask for, fueled by a genuine concern and love for his sister, the next year will bring about huge change. I have a goal that I want to hit by my birthday next year and he is going to help me reach my goal. This is one of those moments in life where you are standing at a cliff and you have to decide if you want to take a chance and jump or maintain the status quo. I’m jumping! After this week, I may not be walking but I am jumping.

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    change
    We're going to call this the official BEFORE photo. I'll allow you to see me a sweaty mess but sweaty ponytail, no makeup and luggage under my eyes..A girl's got to maintain some tiny dignity:)

    This journey is about more than just losing weight. It is about changing my entire lifestyle..forever. It’s no diets or gimmicks, it’s me facing the mirror and taking a good hard look at myself. It’s hard work personal training with my brother and learning to make good, healthy choices with real food. It’s me learning to live in the world. It’s me learning to love my body for all that it is and none of what it’s not. This is me, yelling it from the top of the cliff. I am proclaiming it to the world. It will happen. And this time when the first 25 pounds comes off, I’m giving all the clothes that are too big to the homeless shelter.I will do it every 25 pounds until all I am left with are the clothes that fit who I become.

    My change starts right now

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  • Embracing the Unexpected

    Embracing the Unexpected

     

    unexpected, family, life, change

    Last week, the Big Guy had an unexpected job interview. Unexpected because he loves the job he has, it’s his dream job. The past three years have been insanely chaotic for our family. I started this blog, the spring that my husband first had to leave us for a job; my daughters we’re 2 and 4. They are currently, almost 5 and 7. Many of you know the story of our two-year commuter marriage and all the upheaval that has come with that. The moving, the separation, the hurt and finally, the reunion, we have survived as a family. It’s been really hard. (more…)

  • How to Parenting advice ~ Unsolicited Co-Parenting

    How to Parenting advice ~ Unsolicited Co-Parenting

    How to parenting advice ~ Parenting without unsolicited advice or intervention is something that I am happy to do. I love my kids. I had them because I wanted to be a parent. I don’t need anyone else, no matter how well meaning their intentions may be, stepping in and grabbing the parenting reins. We all get our fair share of “how to parenting advice”, sometimes by people are not even parents,but how many of us had had someone actually step in and flex their how to parenting muscles?

    how to Parenting, unsolicited advice, I can parent my own kids, children,moms

    Kindly STFU, I can parent my own kids. NO how to parenting intervention needed

    We are in a situation where we are currently living with the Big Guy’s parents. It is very generous that they allow us to live in their house while our house is on the market. It really is and I truly appreciate the sacrifice they are making. We tried the whole commuter marriage for two years and Sunday’s just became too much to bear. But lately I see the lines becoming blurred. It’s slowly but surely evolving into a too many cooks in the kitchen scenario.

    I’ve noticed my MIL raising her voice a little more at my kids lately. She’s taken it upon herself to tell a 4 and 6 year old that they need to help out around the house more. What? 4 and 6, people not 14 and 16. They already set the table, help load the dishwasher and feed the dog. This seems like a lot to me, aside from picking up their toys. After a particularly aggressive conversation between her and the girls my husband stepped in and reminded her of their ages. She responded ,”Well, I just thought I’d teach them some responsibility.” Is she implying that we do not discipline them or are too permissive in our parenting?

    How to parenting interventions are Most always Unwanted

    I can feel the judging eyes and impatient stares when the children misbehave. I feel like my every parenting move is under scrutiny. How do I stop this? I ‘ve tried the firm yet gentle approach but my efforts seems to go unnoticed.

    Sitting at the dinner table the other night, I watched in muted shock as she scolded my children for not eating everything on their plate. I am trying to teach them to eat until they are full and then stop. I have rules that they have to eat certain amounts of fruit, vegetables and milk. They are never obligated to finish carbs. In fact, I prefer they not. But she stepped in and reprimanded them for NOT eating the 3 helpings of carbs in its entirety.

    I feel like my hands are tied because of the situation we are in and I really prefer not to be homeless. How do you tell your MIL that her, assumed, well meaning how to parenting interventions are stepping on your parenting toes? I know she loves them and she’s a good parent, after all, she did raise the Big Guy and he’s pretty freaking amazing. But these are our children and we are the only authoritative figures that should be parenting our children. I appreciate wise how to parenting tips from someone who’s been there already but I feel we can parent effectively all on our own.

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she is doing this to be nasty or undermine our parenting or even intentionally. I just think she thinks she is doing what is best. She’s a fixer. If there’s a perceived problem she fixes it. I am more concerned with the effect that it is having on the girls. They are getting confused about who is in charge. My 4 year old told me the other day that is was Grandma’s house and she makes the rules. Which we all know is true except for when you live at Grandma’s house. In any case, Mommy and Daddy always have supreme reign over the children. Even worse, I am afraid that going from being the visiting, doting Grandmother who loves to spend time with them to the Grandma who they see every day and she reprimands and has no patience for them may hurt the relationship between her and our girls.

    Am I looking a parent resource gift horse in the mouth or am I right in feeling like my parenting skills are being questioned? We all know how hard it is to parent in the first place, try doing it with your every parenting move being under a microscope. Has this ever happened to you? Has a parent or well intentioned family member or friend stepped in and parented on your behalf, without your permission? What did you do? How would you handle this sticky how to parenting situation?

    No how to parenting assistance needed

    Photo Credit

  • Zara Designs Holocaust Fashion for Kids & Sees Nothing Wrong with It

    Zara Designs Holocaust Fashion for Kids & Sees Nothing Wrong with It

    Throat Punch Thursday is back just for International Clothing designer ZARA from Spain. They are selling a “sheriff” shirt with stripes and a star of David that very closely resembles the shirts worn in concentration caps in Nazi Germany. Talk about low rent behavior.

    Look, the world is a cesspool of shit right now. Isis is beheading Christians, African-Americans are being shot dead in the street like animals, mental illness is the silent killer like cancer of the brain chemicals and anti-Semitism is alive and well. See, I learned a very important lesson as a child, those who do not know history are destined to repeat it. Well, not trying to be captain obvious but haven’t we all been here before?

    The ZARA shirt is just a reminder of what a group of assholes we can be when we try or just don’t give a shit about other people at all. I’m not going to go on a rant about what a rotten state the world is in because truth be told it’s probably always been in various states of shit depending on who you are and what your perspective is.

    The reason this ZARA shirt is so offensive to me is that aside from being blatantly anti-Semitic it lets adults dress unsuspecting children in a sick and offensive garment that is reminiscent of one of the darkest days in history and then send them out into the world like a big Fuck You to the entire Jewish population. Maybe someone thought this was funny but I think it’s sad, hurtful and dangerous. What’s next, swastika print on Bermuda shorts? What are we teaching our children? Isn’t the world messed up enough without reopening old wounds?

    Global warming, racism, bigotry, anti-Semitism, the objectification of women, the never ending misunderstanding and stigmatization of mental illness, gun Control, the economy, the hungry homeless on our own doorsteps and just a general lack of empathy and compassion in the world are just a few things going so wrong right now that have all happened before. Were we not paying attention the first 100 times these things have happened?

    I’m a pragmatist, I know that the world will never be a perfect place. I don’t believe in unicorns and Utopia. I know that not everyone will always be accepting or tolerant of others. But wouldn’t it be nice if for a change, the assholes were in the minority instead of the majority.  My eyes have begun to twitch from the news lately.

    Today , I read about a male pediatric nurse who molested the 2-month old preemie baby boy who he was fostering and then video taped and took photos of the whole thing. It went on for weeks. In one video, the authorities said that they could audibly hear the baby crying. What makes a person able to stomach doing something like that to a newborn, or anyone for that matter?

    What are your thoughts on this “Sheriff” shirt by Zara?

    zara, anti-semitic, Holocaust, fashion, Spain

  • Be A Better Parent Challenge- Day 21-23

    Friday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 20 – Keep a journal
    I’d love to say I did a fabulous job but that would be a total lie. I had visitors from out of town and it was impossible to find time to post , little lone journal. I am however going to give it a try this week. I’ll keep you posted. How did you ladies do?

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 21 – Fake it

    Try curtailing your “anger” (which The New Girl determined was more of an impulse control issue rather than anger) by actually faking it. Rolling your eyes, moving along, and pretending.
    You’ll see in the comments that she’s not at all saying that you should fake how you’re feeling. Big difference. So that’s not what I’m talking about at all.

    But in many cases, we often let ourselves blow up quickly when really, if we just rolled our eyes and looked at the bigger picture, we’d have way fewer massive blow-ups.Basically,we need to fake our reaction. Feel your feelings but fake control:)

    Let me know how that works out for you. I know I will have to work hard on this one. I have a quick temper and I have to work hard to step back and think. I am interested to see how this works out.

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 22 – Dates with your kids

    Whether you’ve got one kid or a bunch, it’s really important to spend individual time with them. It’s obviously a little easier when you have just one, and then, increasingly more challenging the more you add to your brood.God knows I spend most days feeling like one is being left out. It was so much easier for me when I only had one. I adore both, but its hard work making sure everybody gets the same attention and no one feels left out or slighted. Lucky for me, they have no issue with letting me know!

    So #22: Plan a date night with your kids
    Granted, it doesn’t need to be a night, obviously, and it certainly doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. In fact, it could be something that you always do together, month after month. Breakfast out? Trip to a special playground? An afternoon at a museum? This is difficult for us Mommies who are part time single Mothers or those who are actual full time single mothers but it is possible. It’s hard for me to give them each individual personal time because they are so close in age and I can’t justify leaving one out. I am planning on making the time while my 5 year old is on school, special time for my 3 year old and I. I will do the same for my 5 year old, while the 3 year old naps. It’s the best Ic an do.

    There are so many fantastic ways for you to connect individually with your kiddos, especially outside of your home, which always seems to be bogged down with 400 things that you need to do other than spend alone time with them. But if you can look past the laundry and the ignore the dishes, quality time can easily be spent int he comfort of your own home.Let me know what ideas you have fro “Date Night” with your kids. How did it go?
    And how did faking it go? 

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices

    Only a little over a week left, folks. I hope you’re still with me.I hope that you are feeling like you’re getting something out of this. I am loving the challenges and feel like I am being proactive in my parenting.
    I also have noticed by utilizing these techniques I have eliminated a lot of the regular tantrums and meltdowns that we were having, which is AWESOME!!!

    And I do hope you found some ideas for date “nights” with your kids. I realize that those are a little hard to do impromptu, but you can certainly plan ahead.

    #23: Give ’em choices
    Giving your kids choices is a fantastic way to get them to do what you want without a battle (ha) but also to allow them some control, which is super important – particularly for the younger set (i.e. 2-5ish). The key here is to only give them TWO. Yes, and only choices that you actually want to abide by, Don’t make offers that you have no intention of keeping. This is how I have always done choices and it seems to work pretty well. It creates a sense of autonomy without letting them get out of  your realm of control.

    Forget “What do you want for lunch?” questions and give them options. Just two.
    Or when it comes to getting out of the house “You can put your shoes on and come with us, or leave them off and stay here.”This is one of my favorites, Basically, look kiddo you can do as I say and get to go do something fun or we can just stay here. My girls chomp at the bit to get out of the house ( they have their Mama’s cabin fever gene) so usually it goes as I plan. Of course, if you are dealing with a overtired  or sick child, expect the unexpected sometimes they go rogue and  you find yourself punished and unable to leave the house:(

    My favorite: “You can pick up your clothes off the floor or I can pick them up and take them all to Goodwill.” Desperate times, mamas.Desperate measures. This works with my girls because they are clothes fanatics. But you get the picture….”Pick up the Barbie dolls or I will pick them up and give then to the homeless!” See, its easy..just be sure to follow through or you will lose all control….forever!

    Anyway, you get the idea. Now go give it a try. Let me know how it goes!

    Just a reminder, the Month of September, I will be doing a month long Be a Better Me (You) Challenge in celebration of my Birthday! Hope you can all join me. There’s more to us than just being a Mommy, so next month we will give some attention to that woman:) Also, I am trying to reach a goal of 1000 followers by my birthday September 25, so if you are not already following please do.If you already are please pass it on to your friends who you think might like it, tweet it, Facebook it. Only 432 more followers needed:)Happy Mothering!

  • Be A Better Challenge- Day 21-23

    Friday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 20 – Keep a journal
    I’d love to say I did a fabulous job but that would be a total lie. I had visitors from out of town and it was impossible to find time to post , little lone journal. I am however going to give it a try this week. I’ll keep you posted. How did you ladies do?

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 21 – Fake it

    Try curtailing your “anger” (which The New Girl determined was more of an impulse control issue rather than anger) by actually faking it. Rolling your eyes, moving along, and pretending.
    You’ll see in the comments that she’s not at all saying that you should fake how you’re feeling. Big difference. So that’s not what I’m talking about at all.

    But in many cases, we often let ourselves blow up quickly when really, if we just rolled our eyes and looked at the bigger picture, we’d have way fewer massive blow-ups.Basically,we need to fake our reaction. Feel your feelings but fake control:)

    Let me know how that works out for you. I know I will have to work hard on this one. I have a quick temper and I have to work hard to step back and think. I am interested to see how this works out.

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 22 – Dates with your kids

    Whether you’ve got one kid or a bunch, it’s really important to spend individual time with them. It’s obviously a little easier when you have just one, and then, increasingly more challenging the more you add to your brood.God knows I spend most days feeling like one is being left out. It was so much easier for me when I only had one. I adore both, but its hard work making sure everybody gets the same attention and no one feels left out or slighted. Lucky for me, they have no issue with letting me know!

    So #22: Plan a date night with your kids
    Granted, it doesn’t need to be a night, obviously, and it certainly doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. In fact, it could be something that you always do together, month after month. Breakfast out? Trip to a special playground? An afternoon at a museum? This is difficult for us Mommies who are part time single Mothers or those who are actual full time single mothers but it is possible. It’s hard for me to give them each individual personal time because they are so close in age and I can’t justify leaving one out. I am planning on making the time while my 5 year old is on school, special time for my 3 year old and I. I will do the same for my 5 year old, while the 3 year old naps. It’s the best Ic an do.

    There are so many fantastic ways for you to connect individually with your kiddos, especially outside of your home, which always seems to be bogged down with 400 things that you need to do other than spend alone time with them. But if you can look past the laundry and the ignore the dishes, quality time can easily be spent int he comfort of your own home.Let me know what ideas you have fro “Date Night” with your kids. How did it go?
    And how did faking it go? 

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices

    Only a little over a week left, folks. I hope you’re still with me.I hope that you are feeling like you’re getting something out of this. I am loving the challenges and feel like I am being proactive in my parenting.
    I also have noticed by utilizing these techniques I have eliminated a lot of the regular tantrums and meltdowns that we were having, which is AWESOME!!!

    And I do hope you found some ideas for date “nights” with your kids. I realize that those are a little hard to do impromptu, but you can certainly plan ahead.

    #23: Give ’em choices
    Giving your kids choices is a fantastic way to get them to do what you want without a battle (ha) but also to allow them some control, which is super important – particularly for the younger set (i.e. 2-5ish). The key here is to only give them TWO. Yes, and only choices that you actually want to abide by, Don’t make offers that you have no intention of keeping. This is how I have always done choices and it seems to work pretty well. It creates a sense of autonomy without letting them get out of  your realm of control.

    Forget “What do you want for lunch?” questions and give them options. Just two.
    Or when it comes to getting out of the house “You can put your shoes on and come with us, or leave them off and stay here.”This is one of my favorites, Basically, look kiddo you can do as I say and get to go do something fun or we can just stay here. My girls chomp at the bit to get out of the house ( they have their Mama’s cabin fever gene) so usually it goes as I plan. Of course, if you are dealing with a overtired  or sick child, expect the unexpected sometimes they go rogue and  you find yourself punished and unable to leave the house:(

    My favorite: “You can pick up your clothes off the floor or I can pick them up and take them all to Goodwill.” Desperate times, mamas.Desperate measures. This works with my girls because they are clothes fanatics. But you get the picture….”Pick up the Barbie dolls or I will pick them up and give then to the homeless!” See, its easy..just be sure to follow through or you will lose all control….forever!

    Anyway, you get the idea. Now go give it a try. Let me know how it goes!

    Just a reminder, the Month of September, I will be doing a month long Be a Better Me (You) Challenge in celebration of my Birthday! Hope you can all join me. There’s more to us than just being a Mommy, so next month we will give some attention to that woman:) Also, I am trying to reach a goal of 1000 followers by my birthday September 25, so if you are not already following please do.If you already are please pass it on to your friends who you think might like it, tweet it, Facebook it. Only 432 more followers needed:)Happy Mothering!

  • How a Party Can Help You Change The World

    How a Party Can Help You Change The World

    Have you ever seen an injustice in the world and thought, someone ought to change that? Me, too. We all do. But why not instead of waiting for the world to change, we choose to be the change we want to see in the world. Why not be the change? Why wait? Just change the damn thing.

    We worry about the state of the world; the hungry children, the homeless population, the unemployed and the disabled. We worry but we don’t do anything about it. We walk on in self-induced states of blissful ignorance because to look directly at the world, in all its pain and suffering and walk away is too much to handle. But we don’t have to walk on trying to pretend that all the sadness and injustices in the world don’t exist, we can be the change. We can do something.

    That’s why I decided to partner with Jennie-O and Champions for Kids to help make a difference. It is a small thing but I hosted a #Fiesta4Kids which means, I hosted a dinner party at my house and invited some family over and everyone who came to dinner donated canned foods to be donated to our local food bank. We decided on the local Community Harvest Food Bank.

    Jennie-O, Champions for Kids, charity, hunger, children, be the change

    When most people think #Fiesta4Kids they think taco bar but my kids wanted meatloaf. So for our dinner, I searched the Jennie-O website and found a recipe called Best Ever Turkey Meatloaf and my family concurs. But you don’t have to throw an entire party to do good in the world, start small donate a few cans of food to your own local food bank. Every little bit helps. Teach your children that they can be the change and it’s never too early to start.

    When school lets out for the summer, millions of children lose access to the school breakfasts, lunches and after-school snacks they receive during the regular school year. You can help ensure kids have nutritious meals by hosting a Fiesta to Feed Families event! From June 1 to June 30, Champions for Kids is partnering with Jennie-O Turkey to encourage community projects across the country benefiting children in need of nutritious meals this summer.

    I want my children to feel compassion for others and to be activists, to do not wit for change to happen. I have to be their example. If you’d like to learn more why not join myself, The Motherhood, Jennie-O and Champions for kids on June 24th at 1 pm EST for a Twitter party.

    JUNE 24 #FIESTA4KIDS TWITTER PARTY (1 P.M. – 2 P.M. ET)

    Details for the Twitter Party

    What: For millions of children, the end of the school year means no more access to school breakfasts, lunches or after-school snacks. This month, bloggers from all across the U.S. are leading the way in helping these children by throwing a Fiesta to Feed Families (#Fiesta4Kids), in which they collect food items to benefit kids and families in their local communities! They’ve inspired us so much that we wanted to explore more ways to get involved with community projects at this Twitter party!

    The Motherhood is honored to join Champions for Kids along with Jennie-O to share just how simple it is to help local families in need. Champions for Kids SIMPLE Service Projects are an easy way to get involved in helping your community! Every SIMPLE Service Project has 4 basic steps: 1) Gather your friends, family, and co-workers. 2) Learn about the needs of children in your community. 3) Give items to help kids enjoy happier & healthier lives. 4) Share your story with Champions for Kids to inspire others!

    Join this Twitter party to learn more about SIMPLE Service projects, as well as to learn about kid-friendly recipe ideas that are both yummy and nutritious!

    When: Thursday, June 24, at 1p ET / 12p CT / 10a PT

    Where: We’ll be on Twitter – follow the #Fiesta4Kids hashtag to track the conversation. You can see the details and RSVP via this Twtvite: https://twtvite.com/fiesta4kids

    Hashtag: #Fiesta4Kids

    Prizes: Five prizes will be given to five randomly selected participants who answer the trivia questions correctly. Each prize includes a $25 Wal-Mart gift card and two $5 Jennie-O product coupons.

     

    Disclosure: I participated in this program on behalf of Champions for Kids and The Motherhood. All opinions are my own.

  • Father’s Day Gifts that Every Dad will Love

    Father’s Day Gifts that Every Dad will Love

    Can you believe Father’s Day is just around the corner? It kind of snuck up on us, to be honest.  What with the coronavirus pandemic, not knowing what day, week or month it is and being fully emerged in the fight for equality, things have been upended here and the new normal is absolutely not normal but the Big Guy really is one hell of a dad and husband so I really wanted to make Father’s Day special for him.

    READ ALSO: What Makes a Good Father and How to Be a Good Dad

    But what do you get the man who has everything? It’s not like when the girls were little, no one is having to wait months on end to try to piece together a free night out or save up for a new video game. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been quarantined for the last 4 months so we’ve pretty much been doing as we pleased…well, within the confines of our house because who’s going out? Maybe a cool new mask that’s better suited for the summer months, just to say we care. You’re not alone in this quandary.

    Father’s Day Gifts that every dad will love

    1. Well, he’s the dad of a couple of teenage girls so first on the list is no bickering. Like seriously, we love these girls more than life itself but when they start bickering with one another, it pretty much sounds like cats screeching their nails down a chalkboard. So silence could definitely be a gift.

    2. But that’s probably not going to happen because they are my children and we’re talkers what can I say. So maybe we use the words for good instead of evil and tell the man how much he means to us. The girls can make cards and tell the man how great he is. Me, I’ve got this here blog that I’ve been cultivating for 11 years so here goes (I’m using my words)

    Babe, you are the wind beneath my wings. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, you elevate me and me and give my soul, my heart and my mind the freedom and support to fly. You are the best husband and father anyone could have ever asked for and probably better than I deserve on most days.  I know it’s hard being the only man in a house full of women but you are the best girl dad I’ve ever seen and our girls are blessed to have you, as am I. Thank you for all that you do for all of us. Thank you for your unconditional love and support. We love you to the moon and back and infinity and beyond.

     

    1. Bake Me a Wish

    The Big Guy has a serious sweet tooth sometimes and what’s more delicious than gourmet bakery gifts? BakeMeAWish.com, is a leading national online gifting company.  5% of all purchases will be donated to the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund. Bake Me A Wish! guarantees overnight delivery for those last-minute gifts! Let me tell you, I sampled the tiramisu cake and one of their gorgeous gift baskets and it was a winner in our house.

    Even though we may not be able to celebrate alongside dad this year, receiving a bakery gift is a special way to let dad know how much he’s appreciated this Father’s Day. Bake Me a Wish! offers guaranteed next day delivery, for all the last-minute gift-givers.

    To order a gourmet bakery gift for dad and support the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund, please visit www.bakemeawish.com.

       4. Society Socks

    Society Socks are cool socks with super cute designs that any dad would be proud to wear to the office. They offer products with a social cause that are the perfect gift for the stylish dad who has everything. Society Socks are whimsical, comfortable and best of all with every subscription box, you receive 2 pairs of socks and Society socks donate 2 pairs of fun and funky socks to the homeless shelter.

    Bonus: They make cool socks for mom too!

       5. Lodge Cast iron for the Outdoorsman

    If the dad in your life is a chef or an outdoor chef, Lodge Cast Iron is an unconventional yet perfect way to celebrate Father’s Day. Lodge cast iron is great as versatile indoor grilling cookware but also absolutely perfect for camping trips.

    READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gifts for the Great Outdoorsman

    As you may be familiar, Lodge Cast Iron has been making heirloom-quality cookware and accessories for over 120 years at its headquarters in South Pittsburg, Tennessee. I’m not normally one for getting appliances or any kind of gift that can be construed as a “chore” but cast iron on a family camping trip is definitely a gift; pancakes on griddles, chili in dutch ovens and pizookies in cast iron skillets. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

       6. Sugarfina for the sweetest dads

    Finding the perfect gift for Dad might be a bit more challenging this year, but who says it’s impossible? We’ve put together the SWEETEST suggestions for Dad, Pops, Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle .. Whoever you’re celebrating, Sugarfina has the sweet treats to make this Father’s Day one he’ll never forget!

    • Choco-holic Dad– give him treats as sweet as he is, Coconut Toffee Macadamias
    • Do-It-All Dad– caffeinated sweets will keep his motor running, NEW Cold Brew Cordials
    • Top-Shelf Dad– keep it classy for the dad who’s casually cool

    They have gifts for all price ranges; under $35, gifts under $50 and $75? No problem. Sugarfina has you covered.

       7. Give dad the gift of smart surround sound

    Apple Homepod speakers for the tech-savvy dad. HomePod is a breakthrough speaker that adapts to its location and delivers high-fidelity audio wherever it’s playing. Together with Apple Music and Siri, it creates an entirely new way for you to discover and interact with music at home. And it can help you and your whole family with everyday tasks — and control your smart home — all with just your voice. There is almost nothing the Big Guy likes better than a smart home.

    READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gift Guide for the tech-savvy dad

    HomePod combines custom Apple-engineered audio technology and advanced software to deliver precision sound that fills the room. And at just under seven inches tall, HomePod fits anywhere in your home so no cutting into your walls to install speakers. They are sleek and you almost don’t notice them so they will blend right into your home décor.

       8. Father’s Day Spa treatment

    I like getting people gifts that they wouldn’t normally buy themselves. The same way that I’m remiss to buy myself anything luxurious unless it’s on a deep discount, the Big Guy doesn’t spend money on taking care of himself. It seems like he only feels comfortable buying what he needs so a luxury like a skincare system is nothing he’d ever stop to get himself. The Thermaderm Father’s Day set is easy-to-use, effective skincare basics, that will have dad looking polished and ready for anything.

    The Theraderm Father’s Day Set comes in a smart black travel bag, great for guys on the go, and keeps it simple with three effective products that will keep skin clean and youthful.

     Kick-off every day with the Theraderm Cleansing Wash to get rid of all unwanted oil and dirt without drying out the skin. Suitable for face, body, and even hair, this non-irritating cleanser is perfect for dads with busy schedules. The Cleansing Wash is gentle, yet thoroughly penetrates all the way to the center of the hard keratin in hair and can get unruly manes and even beards clean before a shave.

     The Fruit Acid Exfoliant makes exfoliating quick and ultra-easy. Alpha hydroxy acid works to minimize pores and slough off dead skin cells while evening out skin tone. Packed of lactic acid toner, this product with get dull skin looking dapper after one use.

     Top off this quick routine with the Platinum Protection Facial Sunscreen 43, the magic number for broad-spectrum UV protection because it has the exact amount of active ingredient needed to trap harmful UVA/UVB rays. This oil-free SPF absorbs into the skin quickly and goes on undetected without pilling or stinging the eyes.

    Every dad is different and special like giant dad body shaped snowflakes. In the end, all most dads want is a day to feel appreciated and maybe sneak in a much deserved and long-overdue nap. Just gift from the heart something that will be meaningful to your dad or husband and it’s sure to be a hit.

     

  • Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about CES

    Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about CES

    Last week, I attended CES! CES!!!! I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to attend. Just me and about 170,000 other tech junkies descended upon Las Vegas. It was my first time; I was a CES and a Vegas virgin. Talk about go big or go home? WOWZA!

    I could go on for days, hell, weeks, writing about this experience but I will start by giving you the jist of what it feels like to attend CES, it’s like climaxing and then despite your better senses continuing on, in that crazed, hyper sensitive, overwhelming feeling of pleasure and pain overload but you still want more….more….more…THAT.IS.CES!

    The next thing you know, your feet are on fire, you drank too much at some VIP event because you forgot you weren’t 21, you want all the tech, you’ve been up til 5:30 eastern time every night because you are so jet-lagged. You really don’t know what time it is anymore and then you find yourself so overwhelmed after 3 days of walking in the dessert of lights with that ginormous fucking badge that weighs twelve pounds that you hit a wall (figuratively not literally, though if you are tired enough you might do that too.)

    You’ve seen more hookers than you ever have on HBO real sex and Taxi Cab confessions combined, been given directions by a Mexican Elvis who requests a selfie with you and seen and heard gadgets that have blown your mind.

    Next thing you know, there you are crying, stranded in the airport in Dallas, your flight’s been cancelled because of “weather” and you were the dumb ass who “voluntarily” checked your carry on because some smiling flight attendant asked politely in Vegas and when you ask the flight attendant in Dallas to help you find your much needed luggage, she rolls her eyes at you (ROLLED.HER.EYES.AT.ME!!), scolds you and turns you into a sniveling, sleep deprived ball of snot in the middle of the Dallas/Fort Worth airport with TSA eyeballing you like you just smuggled in heroine ( or maybe it was that new Vibe selfie flash) in your anal cavity.

    Speaking of strange and weird shit happening, as a stranded traveler living my own personal version of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, I ended up in a shuttle with 1) a gentleman from California who happens to be the boss of one of our closest friends from college, who now lives in Colorado but originates from Chicago 2) an ex-lobbyist turned UCLA Poli Sci Professor who has a reoccurring roll on Hawaii 5.0. This trip was all about the surreal.

    Finally, around 10 p.m. Texas time, there I was wearing my new scarf as a sarong, in 20-degree weather while washing my panties and yoga pants out in the sink so I had clean clothes to wear the next day. I did this all by hand. A friend told me that MANY people use the in room coffee makers to wash their unmentionables. I didn’t but think twice before you use those to make coffee. That “weird” taste might be someone else’s ass.

    Anyways, aside from all the drama of the flight home, CES is awesome. Being that it was my first time there are some things that I wished I would have known going in, so I am sharing them here with you. Yes, I will get to all the really, cool shit I saw tomorrow.

     

    • Wear Comfortable shoes. Repeat after me…WEAR.COMFORTABLE. SHOES! Save your cute shoes for nighttime events. Wearing cute heels to CES means that you are either certifiable, dead from the waist down or a hooker. Go away, P.S. even TOMS can wreak havoc on the feet of sensitive soles. Let’s just say, I somehow managed a blister the size of my baby toe on top and on bottom of said baby toe. I was crippled, people. Gym Shoes, UGGs, Frye Boots, COMFORT PEOPLE but please NO CROCS ALLOWED. If you wear crocs the homeless people will make fun of you.
    • Register early to avoid fees.
    • Pick your badge up at the airport, the line is quicker than at the hotels. But if you are PRESS ( as I was) go to the PRESS kiosk or you may find that your badge was given to someone named Donald.
    • Cabs are expensive and traffic is horrible in Vegas. Take the shuttles. It’s $8 one way or $14 round trip. Very cost effective.
    • If you are a single woman who is looking for love with a nerdy, highly intelligent, somewhat wealthy, possibly a gamer, with a great BIG sexy brain… this is your heaven. The men outnumber the women about 9 to 1. STEM PEOPLE. This needs to be a priority with our girls.
    • Have a plan. Vegas is huge and there were 170,000 attendees and 3600 booths. You do the math. There is no way you can cover every booth in 5 days. It’s not possible. Make a plan.
    • Forget about passing out your cards. This is not a blog conference. Get cards. Give cards if asked or if there is a spot to leave them.
    • Network at events and smaller venues. You are not going to stand out at CES unless you are naked or wearing crocs. Wait, I stand corrected, you are not going to stand out at CES unless you are wearing crocs.
    • Walk the strip. You have to. It’s beautiful at night. Also, #Highroller. It’s bigger than the London eye and the view is not only natural it is fucking spectacular!
    • Schedule down time. I am serious, if you do not, you will hit a wall and end up in your room in the middle of the day in your pjs, eating a slice and taking a nap against your own will. P.S. It’s really hard to network when you are delirious from sleep deprivation.
    • Also, speaking of naps, get some sleep. I’m one of those people who physically get ill after a certain point of no sleep. I have insomnia so my threshold is pretty high but if I stay up past 3:30 a.m., I will literally get nauseated. I guess my body decides it’s had enough and it’s shutting down.
    • Don’t over schedule yourself. I made the rookie mistake of making lots of booth tour appointments. I was just so flattered to be asked but I will tell you, then you find yourself rushing around and not enjoying things. CES is all about flexibility; you need to be able to spend time where you find your interests.

    My takeaway, have a plan but be flexible. Wear comfortable shoes and clothing that you can stay comfortable in for 12 + hours. Be prepared to walk because I walked about 15,000 steps every day I was there. Be spontaneous. There are so many cool gadgets and tech and people that you never know where the day might take you and if you have the option, take a friend. Life’s never quite so overwhelming when you have someone with you to help you conquer the world.

    If you love playing with gadgets like I do or just love being in the tech know, when given the chance attend CES. It is awesome. Come back tomorrow and I will tell you all about the great new tech gadgets coming out this year.

    Were you at CES this year, if so what was your favorite new gadget?