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MY TRUTH about The TRUTH about Motherhood

by Deborah Cruz

This month is a big deal in my house. We start the month off with the Big Guy turning 36 tomorrow,that is followed by Mother’s Day ( my 6th to be exact), then my  2nd official blogging anniversary, then the Big Guy and myself will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary, followed by my Gabriella turning 4.May is a big month indeed.

To help celebrate my 2 years of blogging I am going to be featuring some of the greatest bloggers I know. I hope that you will stop by and say hi and learn their Truths about Motherhood. I will be featuring a different blogger Monday thru Thursday the entire month of May. I will still be blogging, as well , but I really want you all to join in the celebration and check out the amazing guest posts that will be featured. What better way to celebrate 2 years of blogging then by having a bloggy party with all my bloggy friends.

I started this blog as a way to pursue my passion of writing and build a community of sisterhood through motherhood.I spent the first couple of years of motherhood feeling very isolated and alone. It was as if I was alone on an island with this little person who didn’t even speak the same language. I love the little people in my life, beyond comprehension,don’t get me wrong. But I was getting a little stir crazy with no adults to talk to; no other mothers with whom to compare war stories. Worse yet, as soon as my poor husband walked through the door all I wanted to do was talk to an adult. The verbal diarrhea that that poor man has had to endure over the past six years is explosive.I would assault him with a barrage of words, from the moment he walked through the door until he pretended to be went to asleep. Hell,I’m not even sure most of it made sense to him. But he would sit there, like a prisoner in silence letting me ramble on and decompress. He really is awesome.

The moms that I did have in my life weren’t really sharing the gory end of motherhood. It was mostly rainbows and unicorns and this left me feeling like a complete failure as a Mother. I mean if all the other Moms were happy and it was easy, obviously it was me who had the problem. I was perfectly imperfect. I was a failure from the moment I took the epidural during labor up until the moment I met these other mothers and it was time I admitted it, no time that I owned it. According to all the parenting books and those wonderful women that I was sipping coffee and swapping rainbow and unicorn baby stories with, I was a complete and utter loser. It was a hard pill to swallow and I spent a lot of time punishing myself for being a sub par Mom. Then it happened. The first crack in the facade of lies. After, months of talking and getting to know one of the moms, I was talking about how Bella still slept with us and how I loved it but I really wasn’t getting any restful sleep. This was, of course, met with disapproving nods and a resounding feeling of failure. Then, this one Mom shook her head…but in knowing agreement. I saw it. I knew it. And, later in private, she admitted that her daughter still was in the bed too. That she couldn’t get that kid out if she paid her and she knew this because she had tried.  I almost cried tears of joy. Not because I was happy that she was going through this but because I wasn’t the only one and if I wasn’t the only one then maybe, just maybe, I Wasn’t a FAILURE! Maybe I was just normal.

I always kept a journal of the girls lives from conception on. When an old friend from college and I had reconnected, she urged me to start a blog, as a way of pursuing my writing. I wasn’t very familiar with blogs or the whole Mommy blogger community. But I knew that if I was going to write, I needed to write about what I knew. I decided that I wanted to be the Mommy who gives you the brutal truth about motherhood as it happens. The glory and the gory, the failures and the successes, good, bad and ugly. I think that I have done so by staying true to who I am and not sugar coating the reality of Motherhood. It’s misery peppered with moments of profound bliss and happiness. It’s not easy.If it were, men could have babies!

This is how The TRUTH about Motherhood came into creation 2 years ago, May 7,2009. It was the beginning of one of the greatest endeavors of my life. It’s not everyone that gets to do what they are passionate about on a daily basis and as a bonus meet wonderful women all over the world. I learn and grow from each and every one of you and I thank you for joining in this sisterhood with me. There have been some URL changes and blog design changes,I know I lost some people along the way so if you got lost in the shuffle, I am sorry. Please fill free to subscribe so I don’t loose you again. Thank you all for the fantastic dialogue we’ve been having these past 2 years!

XO Debi

Here is the first post I ever wrote. It feels like a lifetime ago. There were some great posts in the beginning that no one ever got to read because no one knew who the hell I was. I hadn’t built my community yet, feel free to peruse the posts from the beginning. I’m sure you will be able to relate and you may even find you can relate to my TRUTH about Motherhood.

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A Mommy in the City 2011/05/02 - 4:19 pm

Blogging definitely is a sisterhood and it is amazing the people we meet along the way. I am so glad that you started blogging and that I can learn from you along the way!

XLMIC 2011/05/02 - 5:09 pm

I love that first post you wrote! I will definitely be looking through your early stuff.. I love your blog 🙂

Isn’t it funny how some of our early stuff is really awesome… and only one person MAYBE read it? lol

Happy blogiversary! And happy birthday to your husband 🙂

May is a lovely month in which to celebrate things like this!

Katrina 2011/05/03 - 5:17 pm

Love it all! I have been lurking on your blog for a while, just peeking in and reading here and there. Our styles of parenting and the way we verbalize that to the world are so in tune. I know and have learned very quickly that its okay to not be the “super” mommy of the group and I’m still not sure one of those exist, maybe only in someone’s head, haha! You make me realize almost weekly that its okay to be me and make mistakes and try things differently than what the doctor say’s or my mother says, or hell even Dr.Phil for goodness sakes!

Thanks so much for sharing your TRUTH about motherhood I appreciate every bit of it!

Truthful Mommy 2011/05/03 - 5:38 pm

OMG, that was the best comment ever!Seriously. You have fulfilled all of my blogging fantasies:) This is exactly what I wanted my blog to be. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me!And thank you so much for lurking:)I welcome and love all new lurkers!I will be stopping by to check out your blog after I get these little hyper active monkeys to sleep:)

The Mayor 2011/05/03 - 7:27 pm

With 30 years of motherhood under my belt, 6 children with my DNA roaming and making their mark on the world, it is a roller coaster ride.

I remember the months of angst worrying about the details of each childbirth, breastfeeding trials, babies in bed, pacifiers…..they all so do NOT matter in the big picture.

Discerning how to always put your child’s best interest first, especially when that means taking care of yourself (physically, spiritually, emotionally) first so you can be the best mama is where it’s at.

The rest of the decisions are icing on the cake.

Also, I’ve learned not to judge other peoples parenting styles. I don’t love their kids like they do and everyone on earth has their share of challenges to deal with.

Truthful Mommy 2011/05/04 - 9:26 am

Thank you for sharing. You’ve already been where I’m going. I know there is wisdom with experience.Than you so much for sharing what is really important:)


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