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mom fail

Mom Fail 101

by Deborah Cruz

mom fail

I don’t want to Mom fail these two

The feeling of mom fail is inevitable at some point in motherhood. As a mom, I spend a lot of my time chasing my own tail. I am always trying to catch up. Just when I think I have a handle on this Motherhood gig, the rules change. This is not a complaint. This is a fact.

When my girls are sleeping, I look at them and my breath is taken away from me just by knowing they are mine. I made them. I grew them. They are amazing and that has to be in some small part a reflection of me, right?

On other days, when I just can’t catch up, I feel like a complete failure because it feels hard. We’re brainwashed into believing it’s not supposed to be hard. Then the guilt creeps in because I must be doing something wrong.

Mom Fail hurts

But then there are good moments that prove to me that I am not so bad at this motherhood job; days when I surprise even myself. Days when I feel like I was meant to do this. Days where there is no annoyance or heated reactions to bad behavior. The days that I actually think and breathe before I carry on are good days.

Last weekend, we were unexpectedly whisked out of town. Anyone who has children knows that an unexpected trip has a ripple effect of repercussions that you will be feeling the quake from for weeks to come. This was no exception. We were all exhausted and irritable.

Monday morning came and as I drove up to drop off, one of my worst failures as a mom was realized. It may not sound like much, but if you have a kid that has to wear a uniform to school, you know my pain. I sent my kid to school in her uniform on a dress down day.

We pulled up to see not only had she not worn shorts, after a lengthy discussion that included tears and bitter disappointment and me saying, “ Then just put on your jumper and let’s go. We are going to be late!” I’m certain this sounds familiar to at least some of you.

1st Mom fail of the morning.

Every kid was not only wearing shorts, they were wearing STREET*CLOTHES!! It was a dress down day. Catholic school kids live for these days. Major mom fail! Ella didn’t complain, she only exited the car. “Mommy, I love you.” and walked into the building, crushed. I felt failure.

I drove her sister to the pre-school and I couldn’t shake the feeling of letting her down. I was also impressed that she didn’t complain, even though I could see it broke her heart. After, dropping her sister off, I drove to the nearest Target (because we live nowhere near her school) and bought her an outfit. I drove back to the school, went to her classroom, took my daughter to the restroom and changed her into her shorts and t-shirt.

She was shocked, surprised and I completely impressed. That’s hard to do to a 7 year old. She was genuinely happy. In that small act, $25 and 15 minutes of my time, I created an unforgettable moment in her life. She will never forget that I took the time and care to make her happy. I will never forget that giant beautiful that she had, just for me. She is always loved and she knows that but sometimes it’s nice to remind them of just how special they are to you.

What’s been your greatest mom fail? How have you turned a mom fail into a mom win?

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Coffee Lovin' Mom 2012/03/28 - 10:34 am

You completely made her day by going back – not a mom fail in my book at all!!

Jennifer 2012/03/28 - 11:39 am

Oh yes. That definitely made an impression. I still remember when my mom took us to this cool new store that had just opened in our town, Walmart (this was like 1984), and bought me a pair of pink shorts with embroidered flowers at the cuff for field day. Some outfits are just special.

Nicole 2012/03/28 - 1:00 pm

Sounds like you not only recovered, but gained brownie points by going back with the clothes. I wouldn’t call it a fail by any means. You are an awesome mom. I probably wouldn’t have thought to do what you did.

Julia 2012/03/28 - 7:31 pm

This is so sweet! It sounds like you handled this fabulously!

Anna 2012/03/28 - 9:24 pm

I think you rocked this with how you handled this. No way is this a mom fail!! I hope I am as cool as you!

susan 2012/03/29 - 2:52 am

when my now 9 year old daughter was 2 she would only wear purple gumboots whatever the outfit. dressed in her finest, after a ”’vigourous discussion” i conceded she could wear them to a baptism. my mother was horrified. everyone else was charmed. i started feeling like a failure than i couldn’t even get my kid to wear shoes, and in the end i was completely delighted that noone else cared, she was happy, and she looked gorgeous anyway. mum-win!

All Parents Suck (Sometimes) | Tiny Steps Mommy 2012/03/29 - 7:14 am

[…] other parent fails (you will see I’m not alone) on The Truth About Motherhood’s latest blog Mom Fail 101, of course she recovered fairly well. Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailPinterestDiggTumblrPrintLike […]

Lib 2012/03/29 - 3:07 pm

The first time my little one poo’d in the tub, I didn’t notice until he grabbed a piece and put it in his mouth. Try turning that one into a win :/ Fail!

Crosby 2012/03/30 - 12:01 am

I adore you for having a sharp mind. Turning fail into mom win.

Jane Green 2012/04/25 - 6:29 am

An unforgettable experience for the little one.

The TRUTH About Motherhood | Dealing with Blogger Mommy Guilt? - The TRUTH About Motherhood 2013/06/26 - 6:00 pm

[…] I love that I get to write for a living, from home. I love that brands and publications want to work with me but I am beginning to feel burnt out in every way. The thought that permeates my every action this summer is that I started this blog as a way to keep track of my children’s lives (and to flex my writing muscles) but it’s become a runaway train and I am holding on for dear life not to fall off. Which begs the question; how the fuck am I suppose to be a good Mommy if I am spending my time being a good blogger? One takes from the other, unless I sacrifice my sleep, which I do on most days and its still not enough.Mommy fail 101. […]


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