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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Personal

  • Daddy’s Gone, Mommy’s got Insomnia

    Daddy’s Gone, Mommy’s got Insomnia

    Ok Ladies, I know I am not alone in this phenomenon. But I don’t understand it! I am not afraid of the dark, things going bump in the night, people breaking in, kids not breathing, or becoming random murder victims. Ok, now that I think of it…. maybe I am. I suppose all of those years living so close to Gary, the murder capital of the universe, eventually had to take its toll on my poor psyche! But I’m not there anymore, nowhere near. I am in suburbia heaven! Lush green grass, lots of family neighbors, cul de sacs, SUVs, playdates, etc. I am in the land of La La! Maybe I just need to be perpetually cuddled? I don’t know but what I do know is I need some freaking sleep! Immediately! This is what happens, my husband goes away on business and I can’t sleep. Absolutely can not sleep. I’m talking full-on insomnia in rampant proportions. What makes it worse is that this is NOT a temporary situation, this is the situation. Daddy’s gone and mommy’s got insomnia.

    Last week, I was up every night until at least 2 am. The only reason I went to sleep was that I forced myself to shut down all mental functioning in the name of sanity, and for my children’s safety. I am not a morning person when I’ve had less than 6 hours of sleep. 6 hours is the minimum sane functioning level for me, anything less for more than a day and I am full-blown, out-of-my-mind crazy. I do not jest! What do you ladies do to curb this insanity?

    I’ve spoken to several friends and it seems the only cure for what ails me is my husband, and that is not a possibility at this point. He’s there working, I’m here…NOT SLEEPING! Sleep medication is not an option because I have to be somewhat lucid in case the girls need me in the middle of the night.

    So, here I am, Sleepless in South Bend. I really wish I was a sleep camel, storing it all up on the weekend to get me through the week. Think that’s an option? It is a nifty concept. Of course, when would I fit my husband’s cuddles and conjugal visits in if I were practicing my sleep camel antics on the weekends?

    If you have any suggestions for helping me to catch up on my rest, please share. I know a lot of us could use the advice! If not, I say Who’s up for midnight chats? LOL Stay tuned, as the week goes on and my sleep supply dwindles, God only knows what may end up in these posts. Toodles! I need a nap before Big Daddy leaves the building.

  • Truthful Tuesday, March 9, 2010!

    Once again, it is Truthful Tuesday. I am being truthful today about the fact that this Tuesday I will be in a right terrible mood. Why,you ask? Today is the first day in a long line of days of when my husband will be working a new job, out of town. What this means for me is that I will miss my husband, whom I actually like and will miss seeing every day. I know some couples are good with seeing each other only a few days a week but we have always been a very close couple and he is a very hands on Daddy. That leaves me lonely, busy, and probably quite crazy by the end of every week.I am not looking forward to Never getting a break within the 24 hours. I am a little scared of the ramifications it will have on my girls. Thank God we will see him at the end of every week, and that will truly be something to look forward to but that leaves me , the dancing monkey, trying to fill the space and time that will be left by his absence. We’ve done this before and it didn’t work out very well. There were meltdowns galore, tantrums, crying spells, misplaced anger and confusion and that is nothing to say of what it did to the children:) So , my confession today is that I will miss my husband terribly and , hoping not to sound ungrateful, I hope that something closer turns up sooner than later. I’d much rather have him close and here to kiss good night every night and for my girls to have him to run to every evening when he gets home from work with excitement and wonderment in their eyes (because to them Daddy is simply amazing).Today my confession is that I will miss my husband, my best friend, more than I am allowed to tell him for fear that he will feel bad about having to go. So, I am telling you girls to get it off of my chest.Happy Tuesday!

  • Truthful Tuesdays, March 3, 2010; A day late & a dollar short!

    We will resume ot our normal schedule tonight! I have not abandon you! Road trip today to Davenport. I am sure I will have lots to tell you tonight! P.S. Truthful Tuesdays, I was running around like a maniac..so here goes…. Sometimes,hmmmhmm, wish my husband could calm down a little and not stress so much. I know, pot calling the kettle black!
    Wish I was a better Mommy!  Feeling like I don’t do nearly enough constructive things with the kids. Decided to make schedule! We will see if that helps! I promise to limit tv to a minimum.
    Thats mine. See  ya all tonight!!!

  • Working out the weight Wednesday Feb.24,2010

    Its that day again! Time to get some great recipe ideas to keep ourselves and our families healthy and happy.I have posted some great links on the Truth about the Motherhood FB fan page….https://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/The-Truth-About-Motherhood/305525486452. Hope some are helpful to you and your lovelies. Please feel free to add any ideas that have worked for you and your family on weight loss, eating healthy,staying in shape, getting in shape, etc. We ,Mommies, all need to support one another in this journey to making ourselves and our families the best selves we can be!Take care!

  • Truthful Tuesday; February 23,2009!

    OK, Truthful Tuesdays….once again, we are gathered here to expunge our psyche’s of all of this unnecessary bullshit that we’ve been carrying with us in tortured silence and not so silent misery.No judgment, no ramifications, just support and love from those of us who are exactly where you are….the brink of insanity, the end of our rope, a not so high ledge. No matter the circumstances, we are with you. Today, I’d like to confess that I wish my 4 year old, who has just learned to whistle, would stop whistling! It is incessant and relentless!I actually have started to hear it, even when she isn’t doing it. I have developed a raging case of phantom whistling.
    I, also, wish that my 2 year old would stop asking me, “Why?” about absolutely everything!!!Argh!!!I do mean everything! Example: “Gabs, please put on your shoes” Gabs:”Why?” Me: “Because we need to go somewhere.” Gabs:”Why?” Me: “Because we have an appointment.” Gabs: “Why?” Me: “Because I said so!” (oh yeah, I have become ‘that’ Mother) Gabs: “Why?” Oye vey, this kids gonna break me!
    And I am peeved that, though I know we are fortunate, I hate the idea of my husband being “out of town” for 3/4 of the week for his new job. I can’t tell him or anyone else because I would seem like an unselfish wretch…but I can tell you girls anything! Happy Tuesday!

  • Truthful Tuesdays, Feb.16,2010!

    Good morning, my sunshines! It is Tuesday morning again! You know what that means. Time to let it all out:) Of course, today is Fat Tuesday..so maybe we should really get it all off our chest in anticipation of Lent.I mean who doesn’t want to start Lent off with a clean conscience and a light heart! So, please join me in our weekly expelling of our “demons”.As always, I will start!
    I wish that when I asked my husband to call me from the road, when he is driving in bad weather and I am waiting to hear how an interview is going, he would actually do it! Instead of me having to track him down and him giving me vague answers!Argh!!
    I wish that my 2 year old would keep her hands out of her sister’s face. It’s so bad that her older sister calls her “the Tiger”. When I asked,”Why?”, she simply replied,”Because she claws and bites, Mom!”Enough said!
    I wish that same “Tiger” would stop bringing the glitter glue to me and forcing it into my face, narrowly escaping dropping it into my much needed coffee!
    I wish that I could write this blog in silence versus the screaming, crying, chaos that ensues each time I attempt to get in front of the computer!It’s like they do it on purpose!
    Finally, I wish that I , along with all the Mommies I know, could do everything, be everywhere, and get as much done as we want to without filling guilty for neglecting our children, our husbands or our responsibilities! In short, I wish that we could all live free of Mommy guilt!!!
    Ahhh, breathe in, breathe out! My husband just woke up…yeah, just now. Must be nice! I better go and inform him that I am bestowing the honor of driving in the blizzard to get the groceries. Ahhhh, sweet revenge!LOL
    Your turn! As I have said before, do it anonymously if you like but please…get it off your chest! No infraction too small or too large. We will love you still and think you are an awesome Mommy…just for being human and trying!Come on girls….Do the Fat Tuesday!!!

  • In honor of National Marriage Week

    Love and Marriage ~ Apparently last week was National Marriage week. I, myself, was so deep in the throes of actually being in a Marriage that it completely escaped me. Well, to be honest, I never knew there was such a thing. But to be fair, I think it is a wonderful idea. I mean if we can celebrate Veterans Day and President’s Day, we can surely give some credit for those of us who have maintained a long and happy marriage, or maybe I should say those of us who make the decision daily to stick with it and be there and grow together through the thick and thin.Yes, that is marriage. It is choosing your best friend and planning a life together.

    Marriage is more than Bells and Whistles

    It’s not always like it was in the beginning, with all that new car smell and the fancy bells and whistles but it is definitely a worthwhile investment, if you choose wisely. It has come to my attention lately that most of my single friends have a similar response for why they are not yet married ( not that everyone needs to be married but these people I speak of have been close but never closed the deal) it seems that they expect it to always be in the “I can’t keep my hands off you, you’re the most awesome thing in the world, every moment I see you is like a Fijian sunset” phase. I know, my married friends reading this are chuckling and my single friends are saying , “yeah, so what?” The fact of the matter is this, that phase of marriage does not last (not at that intensity level) but something deeper evolves.

    It may not appear like my husband and I can’t live without one another every second of every day these days but let me tell you..once you’ve been through several years of marriage, children being born, several moves, births, deaths, the entire world changing around you..you become one another’s beacon of love and hope. You are one another’s home. You are the place where the other can go and let down their guard and be the self they are when they are alone but they get to share it..with you.That is marriage.

    Love+Hope+Happiness=Marriage

    I wouldn’t trade the look in his eyes that I get now for the look that I got when we were two college hotties living to jump one anothers bones. No way! Now, he looks at me in awe…like I am amazing. He knows the fortitude and strength it takes to do what I do. To be the mother of his children, to love him no matter what, to get the things done that need to be done but he also knows that when I get dressed up and do my hair, nails, make up and we are alone, I can still be that girl in college. Its just that now, I keep him fed,clothed, make our house our home, and I am his. I still see him and want to jump his bones and he does mine, as well…just now its not the only thing that we feel and see when we look at one another.I’m not knocking my single friends, I just feel like if they are expecting the new car smell in a relationship to last forever..or worse yet, passing up happiness in search of that metaphoric “new car smell”, they may be missing out on something wonderful.

    I have a theory about marriage, it relates to the housing market ( I have houses on the brain, since I’ve been searching for the past 6 months). Getting married is like buying a house, you find that house that you want to make your home and want to live forever. In reality, you may not live there forever but while you are there, it is a good investment. You make it your home, you create memories, you live and grow there. Someday, you may have to sell or want to upgrade but that home was a positive, wonderful thing in your life. It may have been where you had your children, or where you grew up yourself. It is where you lived the seasons of your life in love and security. Now, perpetual dating is like renting an apartment. You have a small commitment, no equity invested, and you can leave and upgrade or change apartments at anytime on a whim. There is no reason to stick out the rough times when the pipes are leaking, or the apartment no longer suits your furniture or lighting tastes. You simply walk away.

    I personally hate apartment living, because I have lived in a house. Maybe I was meant to live in a house, but I need to be somewhere that is mine and I can invest my life , my time, my heart, and my sweat and tears into.Plus, as a sidebar, just a reminder, my single friends, its easier to break a lease than to sale a house.

    Marriage is having your best friend at your side forever

  • Love letter to a husband

    It’s Valentine’s Day again. Seeing as my poor dear husband ends up on my Truthful Tuesday on occasion, I thought I should take this opportunity to exploit his perks as equally as I do his faults.So, honey, I’d like to say…
    Thank you for being my husband for a decade, my boyfriend of 12 years, my best friend for a lifetime, my co-pilot on this crazy ride we call parenting for the past 5 years,my lover, my cheerleader, my shoulder, my comedian, my nurse, my doctor, my shrink (on occasion), my mechanic, my guy Friday,my chef, my coach,my conscience, my everything!
    Thank you for loving me every single day and not just on Valentine’s day. Thanks for the million and one little gestures that show me that you love me. Thanks for looking me in the eye when we talk, thanks for allowing me the freedom and security to be myself (without judgment), thank you for listening, understanding, and caring in every way on every day!Thank you for saying just what I need to hear, at just the right time, even if I didn’t want to hear it. Thank you for holding my hair and holding my hand. Thank you for getting up in the middle of the night with sick babies, when I’ve been too exhausted to move.Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful when I’m full of pitocin and the baby wouldn’t drop. Thank you for your smile, your hugs, your kisses on my forehead when I’m sad.Thank you for my daughters. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for helping me survive and find solutions to the million little problems that seem to be a part of everyday life. Being happy and broke with you is better than being rich and unhappy with anyone else in the world. You are the man that I never knew that I always wanted.
    When you walked me home that autumn night, long ago, I never would have thought that that would be the first day of my forever. We met as two naive,young college kids with endless possibilities in life but were both limited in our potential for happiness due to misguided decisions and misplaced trust in others.Before I met you, I never knew what true love was. Before you, it was me trying on my glass slipper. I tried a lot of those slippers on but none made me Cinderella. You came along and I was a princess. Suddenly,I was the most important, most beautiful, most intelligent, hottest, sweetest girl in the world….in your eyes.
    I know I don’t say it enough, sometimes we just take for granted that someone who can finish our sentences can hear our thoughts, but you are my hero and my best friend. In your arms, I feel safe and loved.In your heart and with you always is where I belong.I love you! Thank you for loving me!

  • Happy Valentine’s Day,Baby!

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  • Working out the weight Wednesday

    Ok, so its come to my attention lately that apparently, I am not the only Mommy in the world (or even my circle) who is trying to figure out a way to raise a family, keep them healthy and happy, and ,while doing so, keep herself in shape. So, I am proposing that Wednesday, the until now dreaded “HUMP DAY” now become something positive for us Mommies. Let’s make Wednesday the day we come here and share weight loss tips, healthy recipes that taste good ( not ones that taste like cardboard, they help NO ONE!), workout routines that we like and enjoy,etc. I think it could be very positive and who can’t use some extra advice in this area? I mean, usually, we don’t just ask our friends ” Hey, you are in great shape. What do you do?” We’d like to, but we don’t. It’s a little awkward and kinda like asking your fertile friends what kind of sexual position worked best for them when trying to conceive. Sure, it could be beneficial to get some new moves in our arsenal and speed up the process but its a touchy subject and not everyone likes to share, plus how do you ask without sounding like a whack job?Same goes for weight loss. But if we had a place to exchange ideas, or just pick some up, I think it would be helpful. It certainly would for me:) I am currently doing a combination of Weight Watchers and Turbo Jam.Both I love. I started on September 25th of ’09, and have thus far lost a grand total of 25 lbs.It’s good but it could be better. I think I need to change up my food variety.Anybody got any great ideas for yummy,healthy recipes? Or what about tricks to get your kids to eat healthy foods? I have exhausted the Deceptively Delicious cookbook and need some fresh ideas. If my husband catches me sneaking cauliflower and sweet potato into his lasagna once more, it may be the end of me:)Any and all ideas welcome!