Category:

Personal

retirement, gold iras, planning for your future

Planning for the Future while Living in the Now

by Deborah Cruz 2015/10/15

Like most moms, I handle the finances in our household. Lately, I’ve been focusing more and more on our future and long-term financial stability versus the instant gratification that I normally allow us.

It’s becoming increasingly more about saving for the future, the forever home we want to have our grandchildren come to visit and the family vacations we want to take. We are thinking about what we want our retirement to look like not just what we want today or tomorrow to be. We should be looking to be Independent regardless of being old. It’s time to set aside sufficient resources in order to afford ourselves home health care instead of having our kids carry that burden.

Lately, I’ve been looking at wonderful retirement homes like peachtreehillsplace.com/theterraces/ and I’m amazed how tranquil that place is. You can visit web site to know more about assisted living.

It’s always felt like we’re just ahead of the financial curve. We work hard and make good money but we are not the best at budgeting and we like to maintain a certain way of life. Sometimes we say yes, when we know we should say no to our children. When unforeseen expenses occur, it gets uncomfortable. When if we were just slightly more financially responsible or just stuck to a budget, it would all be so much easier. Staying disciplined financially is essential when we want to opt for home care during our retirement years because we don’t want our children to be paying for it.

I remember when we were first thinking of having children all those years ago, we felt like we would never be financially ready. Then someone gave me the best advice I’ve ever gotten; there is never enough money and there is never a perfect time to do anything, especially having a baby. It’s true. Children are expensive: more expensive than I ever imagined but we figured it out.

The thing no one ever tells you, as a parent is that what’s really the expense is loving them so much that you want to give them everything. It’s an innate desire of all parents to want to give their child the best and that is where excess easily creeps in and that’s when budgets fly out the window and that, my friends, is where we seem to drop the ball but that has to change.

But I do believe that with a little practicality and planning things can go a little more smoothly in life than if we continue on this road of continual instant gratification. I completely realize that you can’t take “it” with you. I don’t really believe in saving anything for a special occasion and I don’t want to spend my entire life agonizing over every single purchase I ever make but I also don’t want to find myself with no nest egg when the time for retirement comes so I’ve started looking into different ways to get retirement help.

One option that I find intriguing is a gold IRA retirement account . A gold IRA or precious metals IRA is an Individual Retirement Account in which physical gold is held in custody for the benefit of the IRA account owner. It functions the same as a regular IRA, only instead of holding paper assets, it holds physical bullion coins or bars.

Why consider holding physical gold in an Individual Retirement Account? Because, when my family’s future is at stake, I want to bet on a sure thing. I don’t want our entire retirement hinged on the state of the economy. Our future is too precious to leave to such chance so I think investing in gold IRAs is a more secure investment.

How are you saving for your future?

Disclosure: This is a compensated post but all opinions are my own.

2015/10/15 0 comment

health, fuel up to play 60, parenting, play more, active kids

How Playing More Could Save Our Kids Lives

by Deborah Cruz 2015/10/09

written by Deborah Cruz

https://bit.ly/1NnelkQ
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 En Español and Latina Bloggers Connect.

As a parent, one of my biggest responsibilities is to teach my daughters healthy habits so they grow up healthy and strong. I am setting the tone for the rest of their lives. It’s a lot harder than it sounds or than I ever could have anticipated.

We live in a world today where a busy lifestyle is the norm and many of us don’t even get the chance to eat breakfast. To add insult to injury, we also live in a time where children are both developing fewer healthy eating habits and moving far less. The hardest part of all is figuring out, among all of these obstacles, how to get our kids moving more and eating healthier.

That’s where programs like Fuel Up to Play 60 come in. It’s the largest in-school health and wellness program founded by the National Dairy Council and the NFL, in collaboration with the USDA, that empowers today’s youth to lead healthier lives. PepsiCo. Foundation is a key partner in the funding of the program extension.

Fuel Up to Play 60 provides online resources and hosts events with NFL players to inspire kids. Even better, the recently launched Fuel Up to Play 60 en español program now offers Spanish language resources, aimed at getting Hispanic parents and communities involved in health, nutrition and fitness inside and outside of the classroom.

In our home growing up, physical activity was always very important to our parents. They always encouraged us to play outside and join sports. When we weren’t at school or doing homework, our dad was always outside with us playing soccer or tennis or taking us to the beach to swim. Some of my fondest memories as a child revolve around long bike rides, runs or hikes with my father.

Physical activity, along with good nutrition, are at the center of Fuel Up to Play 60 en español too. With programs like Fuel Up to Play 60, our children are getting a healthy inschool nutrition and physical activity program that solidifies the healthier lifestyle that we are teaching them at home.

I was fortunate to have had good role models of health, however, I did develop some less desirable eating habits in my early teens. Habits that caused me to gain weight and made staying in shape more and more challenging. I don’t want that for my children.

My philosophy is that it is my responsibility to prevent that from happeningand to instill healthy habits with my children early on. As a Latina mom, I cook a lot of amazing Latino dishes with foods that are rich in flavor and high in calories. They are absolutely delicious, but it’s my job to not let that negatively affect my daughter’s’ health or body image.

I do my part by making healthy substitutions when I can and I teach moderation as a virtue. I make moving feel like a privilege and they have a lot of fun and stay healthy without feeling like they are ever being punished. As far as they are concerned, playing and being active is a fun way to spend their days outside and enjoy their parents. I’ve always made my dishes in the healthy version so they’ve never known the full effects of the high sugar and grease contents of the original recipes. To be honest, at this point, I’m not sure they’d even like it.

To learn more about the Fuel Up to Play 60 program please join us for the Twitter party that will take place on October 15, 2015 at 8PM EST/5PM PST using the hashtag #FuelGreatness with special guest @FUTP60.

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of National Dairy Council and Latina Bloggers Connect. The opinions and text are all mine.

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2015/10/09 0 comment

fiberone, life moments, sisters, wedding, best friends

Marriage and Relationships

Life’s Sweetest Moments are Better Together

by Deborah Cruz 2015/10/06

written by Deborah Cruz

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by FiberOne through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about FiberOne Streusel Bars, all opinions are my own.

It’s been a crazy few weeks. The summer was spent busily planning for my sister’s wedding, traveling and meeting deadlines. It was chock-full of some of life’s great things, but sometimes even the best things in life can leave you exhausted and overwhelmed, whether it is planning a wedding, bringing home a new baby or taking your dream vacation. Sometimes, you just have to stop and breathe to fully enjoy everything. A moment of quiet “me” time to regroup and rejuvenate can make the world of difference in the midst of all the chaos.

I wasted this Summer looking forward to the finish line instead of enjoying the moments as they were happening. I had so much to do that instead of just enjoying all the great adventures and life changing milestones, I found myself just trying to get through them. I wanted to survive until the next chance for down time. I think all of us do this from time to time. Life is hectic and it’s hard to fully enjoy the moments when it all begins to feel like a chore.

A week ago, I was counting the days until I got to finally rest. Honestly, it was one day until my sister’s wedding and all of our scheduled plans for the Summer would be complete. After the rehearsal dinner, after all the commotion and stress of the day were washing over us and every one else had gone to bed, my baby sister and I sat there in her living room, lit by twinkling lights, and just talked about nothing in particular. This was one of the best moments of my entire Summer.

Right in the middle of the monsoon of wedding chaos, the biggest day of her life, we just took a moment to sit still and talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. It was the perfect act of combined “me” time. She had been stressing for months with planning and wedding details. I haven’t had the chance to catch my breath all Summer. This shared moment of quiet sisterhood was something we both really needed. Alone time allows me to regroup, but sister time has always allowed me to recharge because I know I have my sister to lean on, to share with and to understand and listen as does she with me. It’s different than “me” time but, for me, it is equally as important.

We sat on that couch beneath the twinkling lights, listening to ‘80s love songs that we used to include on our “sleep tapes” when we were in high school, and reminisced. We got hungry, so we ate strawberry streusel Fiber One® Bars while we sipped on wine and laughed about all the crazy, great times we had and those which are still to come. It was the perfect marriage of the sweet things in life and an unforgettable “we” moment. It was one of those perfect sister moments that mean nothing and everything, all at the same time.

After an hour or so of talking about everything that flew into our minds and out of our souls, we crawled into bed together, like we did when we were children, and talked some more until one of us fell asleep from exhaustion. The last thing I remember hearing as I drifted off to sleep was my little sister’s laugh, as we giddily discussed her wedding day and made plans for our happily ever afters. My heart is still full just thinking about it.

The next morning, I woke her up by serenading her with “Going to the Chapel of Love” by the Shirelles. We both started our day in a great mood and then we grabbed a couple more Strawberry Streusel Fiber One® Bars to take with us on our errands, and even though it was pouring rain out, we were transported back to sitting beneath those twinkle lights and everything was perfect.

2015/10/06 0 comment

broken leg, bridesmaid down, surgery, broken bones, wedding

Health

Never Ask a Disabled Person If they’ll Return to Normal

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/30

written by Deborah Cruz

It’s hard going from being an able-bodied person to a disabled person but my broken leg has taught me patience and to embrace living with a disability. This morning I went for my 2-week post op check up. I’m not going to lie. I was a little nervous. I knew the minute that I fell, this was bad. The same way I knew the moment I awoke from surgery and overheard the Big Guy and the surgeon talking about how my injury was so much more extensive than he first thought. There were more pins then originally planned on, bigger screws and 2 plates versus the one we planned for. So, when I went in today, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

I was nervous, for so many reasons. You my husband’s uncle had a bad break a long time ago and now he wears prosthesis. I know other people who broke their leg and never regained full mobility. I know this. It’s in the back of my mind. It scares me to death.

I am guaranteed a future filled with arthritis in my ankle. I know this. Right now, I am praying for a full, speedy and complete recovery. I just want to be who I was before the fall, as far as the leg is concerned.

I know that I needed to slow down. My life was a whirlwind and there was no slowing down in sight. I was missing things. I was too involved in the movement and not enough in the people and things happening around me.

This morning, I was terrified. This morning, I put on a brave face, held my breath and went in to get checked. My husband wheeled me in and I felt like this was unfolding as something happening to someone else. I wished it were.

I sat in the cold office, in the sterile room in complete discomfort. My mind was racing. Then the nurse came in and removed the splint. I looked down and almost passed out. Where I expected a 1-2 inch incision there was about a 10-inch incision site. As the nurse removed gauze after bloodied gauze, my heart sank. What the hell happened to me? My positivity was waning.

The nurse removed all the bandages and there was my leg, limp and small. It looked sad and feeble. I felt small and disabled. Then we went for x-rays. All I could see were the sutures; my Frankenfoot. It looked like a monster.

Stay positive, Debi. I said to myself. I mean, I know where there is a will there is a way. If I follow all of the directions, keep my foot elevated and iced as I’ve been told and put no weight on it until I am given the go ahead; it has no choice but to heal, right?

Then I see the emails, texts and messages all asking the same thing, “But will you have full mobility? Will it function like normal?” Normally, this would not bother me but after being mostly bedridden for 16 days, very emotional and after seeing the unexpectedly large incision, I cried. My heart sank and went to the dark place. What if my leg never works correctly again? What if there is a difference in size. What if I have a limp? What if I lose the leg?

It may all sound completely irrational to you all with your healthy bodies and souls but I am wounded and worse still, I know people who have lost their limbs due to trauma. I know people who’ve never walked right again. I want to be normal again, so, I’m taking it day by day.

I’m trying to see past the nausea, the scar, the recovery time, and the unexpected side effects of severe constipation, exhaustion and weakness. I’m staying positive or was until I was blind sighted by unexpected questions that make me second-guess all of it. Then I find myself crying, sad and feeling defeated.

So, while I truly appreciate all of the virtual hugs, heartfelt prayers, well wishes and pep talks, I could do without the question, “Will your leg fully recover?” It upsets me. The answer, so far, is yes. We expect a full recovery. If it turns out otherwise, I’ll keep you posted.

2015/09/30 2 comments

Health

Violet Iodine to the Breast Rescue

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/30

written by Deborah Cruz

With everything going on with my leg lately, I’ve neglected a lot of other things, even other parts of my body. Apparently, when your body is traumatized in such a horrendous way, all of your brain focuses on the injured party. But as I start to heal, I begin to feel all the feels that I have been suppressing.

For instance, I’ve barely felt any pain in my severely sprained right ankle because all my attention has been directed at my broken and dislocated left leg. Now that I am healing, I am suddenly feeling the aches and pains of all the sprains and pulls that I incurred in the rest of my body in the fall. I am even feeling my monthly migraines, cramps and breast sensitivity.

Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Menstrual-related breast discomfort caused by hormonal changes that occurs during a woman’s menstrual cycle can lead to the buildup of breast tissue, resulting in breast lumps, tenderness, swelling, heaviness and aches. It’s awful and if you already have dense breasts, it’s that much worse.

I know I’m not alone because approximately 37.5 million women (an estimated 50 percent of all women during childbearing years) experience this, yet most of us don’t even know that there is anything that we can do about this situation. We just accept it and push through.

But what if it wasn’t something we had to suffer through? What if we could alleviate that discomfort? I mean being a woman shouldn’t feel like a punishment once a month. Being a woman is a beautiful thing.

Well, recently, I found out there is an option for relief from menstrual breast discomfort. There is a product called Violet iodine. It’s a once-daily, non-hormone supplement that is taken orally and made specifically for women to promote breast health and alleviate menstrual-related breast discomfort. It’s the first non-prescription molecular iodine supplement specifically designed to address this discomfort.

Violet iodine addresses the underlying cause of the symptoms rather than temporarily masking the discomfort. Most women begin to experience symptom relief after taking Violet iodine for 60 days, although some women may experience relief sooner.

Its completely drug-free, composed of two forms of iodine, that – when introduced into the acidic environment of the stomach – combine to form molecular iodine. Molecular iodine binds with other molecules in the body and targets the breast tissue via the bloodstream. It has been shown to restore the natural, healthy balance of breast cells and relieve monthly breast discomfort.

Violet iodine is available over the counter at CVS, The Vitamin Shoppe and at Drugstore.com and right now you can try Violet for 30% off at participating retailers. For more information about Violet Iodine you can check them out on Twitter and Facebook.

Do you experience monthly breast discomfort? What do you do to help ease the pain?

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written on behalf of Violet Iodine but all opinions are my own.

2015/09/30 0 comment

Glucerna, diabetes, carbsteady, healthy snacks, diabetic dessert, dessert

Food Health

Recipe for the Perfect CarbSteady Banana Split Parfait

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/24

written by Deborah Cruz

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and Glucerna. All opinions are mine alone. #GlucernaContigo #CollectiveBias

Did you know that 6 million(23%) Hispanics in the United States have diabetes compared to 20 million of non-Hispanic whites. In addition to that an estimated that 57 million people in the United States have pre-diabetes, and 35% are estimated to be Hispanic. This is a terrifying statistic, especially for the Latino community.

At my last check up my doctor told me that my sugar was higher than she would like. I was not diabetic but she wanted my numbers to go down or one day, I will be diabetic. That really scared me because I have lost people in my family that I love to diabetes. I don’t want to be another statistic and I certainly don’t want to die because of bad eating habits.

That’s the thing about diabetes, it is a scary and terrible disease but it can be prevented if you are willing to do the work; move more and eat less of the foods that are bad for you. I know it’s hard because we develop these habits and our bodies crave sweets.

It’s not easy but isn’t your life worth the sacrifice? Isn’t being around to see your children and your grandchildren grow up worth it? Do it for your spouse who loves you and doesn’t want to live without you. Do it for you because you deserve to live a long and happy life and no amount of sweets is worth giving up all of that living you still have to do.

One way to avoid becoming another statistic is to start by changing some of your favorite recipes and making them healthier. You could be surprised at how a few tweaks can change your life for the better.

One of my favorite treats has always been ice cream. I love ice cream but I know too much of a good thing can quickly become a bad thing so I’ve changed up one of my favorite recipes the banana split.

Banana Split Parfait

Ingredients

½ banana

½ cup of strawberries

¾ cup of organic French vanilla yogurt

½ Glucerna Crispy Delight Nutrition Bar in Chocolate Chip ( which can easily be found at your local Wal-Mart.)

Glucerna products have CARBSTEADY, which includes slowly digestible carbohydrates designed to help minimize blood sugar spikes.

Directions

Using a small parfait glass, layer half of the bananas sliced on the bottom of the cup.

Then layer one third of the French vanilla yogurt.

Top that with ¼ cup fresh, sliced strawberries

Add another layer of bananas

Add another layer of yogurt

Add a layer of strawberries

Add final layer of remaining French vanilla yogurt

Top with crumbled up ½ of Glucerna Chocolate chip Crispy delight Nutrition bar to give the parfait a little extra crunch and nutrition.

Enjoy in good conscious.

This treat is tasty, healthy and you won’t feel like you are being punished. It’ll fulfill your sweet tooth but its completely healthy.

Bonus: You can click here for $1 off coupon on any 1 Glucerna product.

Glucerna – Steady Ahead from Kevin Egan on Vimeo.

Be sure to check out more information about Glucerna, great meal plans and the amazing array of shakes and nutritional bar options at Glucerna.com

2015/09/24 0 comment

Health Personal

How a Curb took me Out of My Sister’s Wedding and Straight to the ER

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/22

written by Deborah Cruz

Last weekend, I fell off a curb. I know, it sounds hilarious because this is the kind of klutzy antics one might have come to expect if you’ve known me any length of time. I am the girl who is constantly and consistently rolling her ankle because of uneven sidewalks and misplaced, rogue pebbles. Go ahead, laugh. It really is like a cartoon but what happened last Saturday resulted in a severely broken leg and was anything but laughable or funny. Believe it or not, I’m not even being dramatic. I know many of you have been following along on social media because obviously when I’m sedated on painkillers and bedridden, I like to post pictures and updates. This is the story of that one time I fell 6 inches, got a broken leg, and destroyed life as I know it.

How a Curb took me Out of My Sister’s Wedding and Straight to the ER

Saturday, September 12^th, my little sister (my best friend) got married. I was the maid of honor. We were looking forward to this moment for a year. She was so happy and I was ecstatic to see her glowing and really, ridiculously and honestly happy. The morning was spent running around picking her dress up and gathering last minute things. I woke her up and serenaded her with a crackly voiced giggling version of Going to the Chapel of Love that only a big sister can sing to a little sister. Then it was the usual excitement and clamor that would fill a house full of women getting ready for a wedding. Above all else, I wanted her to be happy and stress-free. Never could I have imagined that a broken leg and I would be the source of everyone’s stress that day.

Hair and makeup showed up. I busied myself making sure that all the last-minute finishing touches didn’t overwhelm her. I painted her toenails and lotioned her legs. I happily got her some breakfast and something to drink. I didn’t want her to fret over any of it. I just wanted her to enjoy this huge moment of her life. We talked and laughed as she had her hair done. I sat across from her doing my daughters’ hair as her make-up was done and when the time came, I helped to dress my baby sister for the biggest moment of her life. It almost felt religious. I never would have believed that after it was all said and done, a curb would take me out of my sister’s wedding and straight to the ER.

As all the chaos and drama began to descend upon us as the house filled more and more with loved ones (as it tends to do), I helped to dress her as the photographer clicked away, capturing every single tear of joy and sigh of relief. We were all in the moment and happy. A broken leg was the furthest thing from anyone’s mind.

As I stood there taping her into her drop sleeves, I saw the face of my little sister just as she was when she was 6 and I was helping to dress her for her First Communion; still, that little girl looking for reassurance and guidance from her big sister, me still wanting to make everything perfect for her. Eventually, we made it to the venue and I cried at how absolutely stunning she looked as she walked down the aisle. Then she became his wife and it was time to celebrate this amazing moment of true happiness in her life. But before the reception, we had a pit stop at a local park to take wedding pictures; this is where it all went wrong.

Minutes before a Curb took me Out of My Sister’s Wedding and Straight to the ER

It was a breezy, gorgeous Saturday in September but we were all hungry and ready to celebrate. We took family photos and then it was time to take wedding party photos. We were losing daylight and the reception was getting ready to start as we hurried through the photo process. Finally, we were all headed back to our cars and to the reception. I was lagging behind, holding my sister’s bouquet and veil, as the photographer was taking more couple shots throughout the park.

I remember looking back and thinking how beautiful she looked. Then, I decided to head to our where the Big Guy and our girls were already waiting. I looked at the Hummer that was decorated for the wedding that my sister was riding in and then I turned for one last glance at my sister smiling before I took a step down from the sidewalk to the parking lot. My last thought was, God, she really looks happy, and then my foot never landed on the parking lot.

The Saga of the Maid of Honor’s Broken Leg Begins

In that terrible moment, my right ankle rolled. As it rolled, my left foot came up and tried to catch my balance, however, due to the combo of the wedged flip flops and a too-long dress, it got caught up and instead crashed down. At that moment, I heard the bones break and I felt the ankle dislocate. I was down on my right knee and my left leg was useless. I knew when I felt it that I would not be standing up. The pain was instant and unmistakable. I didn’t even have the strength to sit. I had to push myself over and sort of fall into the wheel (side of the car) of the car to my right.

I looked down and saw my ankle. My left leg was straight but my left foot was facing directly left and the bone was dislocated in such a drastic way that it looked like something you might see in a horror movie. As I scanned up, with all the bridal party and my entire family running to my side as I tried not to pass out from the pain, I saw that I was facing the beautifully decorated wedding vehicle and all I could think was, “Oh God, Please don’t let my daughters see me this way and please don’t let me ruin my sister’s wedding day!”

My sister was still back in the park a ways getting her photos so she didn’t immediately see what was going on and luckily, my 18-year-old niece ran to the car to sit with my daughters so they never saw my ankle or me crying like a baby because I did. I was in such pain, there was nothing I could do but howl and cry like a baby until the ambulance got there. It felt like forever.

There is nothing quite like maiming yourself in front of literally all of the people that you love; all of my brothers, sisters, parents, nieces, nephews and husband. Everyone was in shock. The sight of impact was horrifying and I’m sure me wailing in pain was nothing short of pathetic and heartbreaking. I remember everyone trying to keep me calm and reassure me that everything was going to be ok but the pain, it was searing and took my breath away.

I remember my brother and his wife, who have been through broken bones with their athletic children many times, one rubbing my back while my husband told me to look at it. My brother was telling me that, “It’s not that bad, Deb.” He was looking at my right ankle, the scratched and bleeding one that was only severely sprained. My other brother-in-law had covered my ankles in some effort to avert my eyes from fixating on the mangled mess that sat at the bottom of my left leg. To which I responded, “It’s the other one, Mother F*cker (or so he tells me, I don’t quite remember what I said, I was trying to stave off shock which I went into right about the time they had to splint me for the ambulance ride to the hospital).” He almost passed out when he saw the left ankle. It was truly horrifying and just the thought of it right now makes my leg hurt.

Anyways, eventually the ambulance came and took me away and eventually my sister saw what was happening and ran over through a blockade of people who were trying to stop her. She wanted to come with me to the hospital but I wanted her to have the best wedding ever so I sent her to the wedding along with my children and the rest of my family, except for the Big Guy, I needed him. He is my rock. That man has been a saint since this all happened. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky but he is the most amazing man I have ever met in my entire life.

And all though breaking my fibula, shattering my tibia, dislocating my left ankle and having to have extensive surgery because the trauma was like that of a car accident and not a trip and even though my cartilage exploded into dust and my right leg is acutely sprained, it’s reminded me of how lucky I am to have the people I love in my life. My husband, my children, my in-laws, my friends, my neighbors, my sister and brothers and my parents are all in. They have rallied around me to pick up the slack and encourage me and pray for me. And you, all of you, your prayers and thoughts have meant so much to me.

I hate that this happened. It has put me on time out of my life for 3 months. My leg has to be elevated and non-weight bearing for 3 months. I’ve had to find rides and for my girls and people to help but it’s really shown me that I have a lot of people who care about me and, in honesty, I needed the break. I was doing too much. I would have never slowed down if it weren’t forced on me. In the end how a curb took me out of my sister’s wedding and straight to the ER is laughable, if traumatic, experience that I will never forget but it reminded me of what is important.

Has a broken leg or any injury ever been a blessing in disguise in your life?

2015/09/22 13 comments

sex, Mexican food, Mexican food and sex don't mix, sex after children, marriage

Humor Latina Marriage and Relationships

Why Mexican Food and Sex Don’t Mix

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/10

written by Deborah Cruz

Mexican food does not mix well with sex and it’s not for the reason that you might think. It has nothing to do with beans, though, I am sure that has it’s own set of consequences. Mexican Subway anyone. ( Just Google it. You know you want to.) This is something my mom should have warned me about when she gave me “the talk”. Well, maybe she did. Our sex talk went a little like this, ” It’s going to hurt A LOT!” Then my dad chimed in, “Don’t do it!” Maybe they were telling me their truth…

Mexican food and sex don’t mix!

Since having children, finding the time to have sex (whether Mexican food recipes are involved or not) has become a challenge. Making love has gone from being recreational to a full on covert ops sport. The days of spontaneous sex are long gone, unless you count the rogue moments of bathroom sex or Saturday morning, wake up early, quietly lock the door and do it quick and dirty. Oh yeah, that happens. Quick and dirty is the specialty in this house with an 8 and 10-year-old. Those broads know how to jimmy the door open.

But sometimes when you try to do it quick and dirty, well, to be quite frank, people get burned. I know this because I was recently on the receiving end of a bad combination of Mexican food and lovemaking. That’s right, a little healthy fooling around with my Big Guy ended with me in the shower pouring milk straight onto my vagina. See, I told you that it had nothing do with beans!

So, you’re thinking to yourself, what kind of kinky shit are Debi and the mister getting themselves into over there? Well, let’s just say that you should always wash your hands at least three times after handling spicy foods, especially peppers. I know because, well, I’m Mexican and have put jalapeno, habanero and all sorts of peppers, accidentally, into my eyeballs throughout my lifetime. It’s a damn miracle that I’m not blind. Apparently, my eyeballs are kinky and like it hot and rough. This is obviously a lesson lost on my 100% caucasian husband, otherwise, he might have known…and heeded my father’s warning of, “Don’t do it!”

The other night after a mouth-watering meal of homemade Mexican food, the Big Guy and I were feeling the heat and getting a little frisky between the sheets. It was all well and good until Mr. Vagina Whisperer over here decided to get a little up close and personal with my nether regions. Look, I am all about a good “massage” but, men, you MUST wash your hands if you’ve been handling hot spices or peppers, especially if you just deseeded 5 veiny jalapeños for your super secret, ultra spicy homemade salsa. Well, this goes for all men; in general, all men must wash hands before lovemaking. Think of it as one of those signs posted in Fast Food restaurant bathrooms, if it helps.

All I know is that one minute, I was enjoying the “massage” and the next, I was feeling the burn and immediately following that I was in the shower screaming for the Big Guy to bring me all the milk in the house. This girl was on fire, and not in the good Alicia Keys way. I was a very, unhappy burning crotch down under kind of girl on fire. Bad things were happening to my lady bits and I could do nothing but watch in horror as the flames engulfed me.

You know how when you eat a really spicy pepper your lips start tingling, then they start swelling and then you’re crying because the burn is like a thousand bee stings. Yes, I had that….right there in my vagina and vagina adjacent region.

Just to recap….

Mexican Food and Sex Don’t Mix!

Write it down. I’ll wait.

The moral of the story is this, there are a few things that I’ve learned over the years that certainly don’t mix with sex; spicy Mexican food fingers being at the top of that list (no you poured $8 a gallon organic milk on your vagina in the middle of the night to stop feeling the burn), toddlers within 5 miles of an unlocked bedroom (no you were naked wrestling with your husband when you to caught by a 2-year-old and played dead) and certain sleep aids for insomniacs. Here is my rule of thumb, Ambien is great for forgotten, wild sex weekends but Xanax before bed can leave your partner with the longest hand job in the history of the universe. Think puff, puff, give but instead…rub, rub, snore. I hear it’s embarrassing and you never live it down because truly the only thing funnier is a Norwegian Knob gobbler. Now, go Google that and have a nice day.

And remember, no sex after handling spicy foods until all parts that have come in contact with the heat have been properly cleansed and eradicated of any spicy residue. You’ll thank me later.

What’s your best sex advice?

2015/09/10 2 comments

Nicole Arbour, Dear Fat People, Obesity, Fat Shaming, Youtube, Censorship

Health News

Dear Nicole Arbour On Behalf of Fat People Everywhere

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/08

written by Deborah Cruz

I watched the video of youtuber, Nicole Arbour, going off on a tangent in her video, Dear Fat People. Since being posted, the video has amassed more than 17 million views on Facebook and more than half a million views on YouTube. Could it be considered offensive? Sure, but anything can be. She has her right to voice her opinion and she wasn’t making up statistics. She was making a commentary on the state of obesity.

Soon after being uploaded, Arbour’s YouTube channel, as well as the video she’d created, was suspended. She was censored, which I find ironic since Donald Trump and Ann Coulter are still allowed to speak in public.

I was not offended. I am a fat person. I got that way all on my own. I can’t blame her for pointing it out. Besides, I agree with her, 99% of the time being fat is not a disability but something we have done to ourselves.

Is it fun? Hell, no. Are there extenuating circumstances? Hell, yeah. Hello, years of eating disorders can actually cause your metabolism to say, “Fuck you, Big mama. You tried to cheat the system. Chew on that!” And then bam! It stops working. Can you still lose weight? YES! Is it super, duper ridiculously hard. YES!

Are there people with pituitary tumors? Yes. People with thyroid problems? Yes! People who gain weight on medications or from autoimmune disorders? Yes! Are there people who get fat by absolutely no doing of their own? YES!!! I am not one of those people. I am fat because, while yes my metabolism is on protest after years of unhealthy eating disorders, I also eat a lot of bad foods and don’t move nearly enough.

That woman, Nicole Arbour, who everyone is pissed off at for “fat shaming” is merely telling the truth. And yes, fat shaming is awful and mean. Was she a bit harsh? Yes. Maybe harsh is what we need sometimes to shock us enough to wake us up from our food coma, our denial and our assisted suicide.

I hate to say it but she had some good points. Some points most of America, especially the food industry, needs to hear. Look, I don’t ride carts in the grocery store or let my fat spill over onto others when I ride in a plane (or at least I hope not, if I do…sorry.) I do sweat like a whore in church when I try to run through the airport. It’s not pretty but I never cut the line, even when my knees do hurt at the airport.

Being fat is not a disability, it is a state of being. Usually, one we can change with diet and exercise. It’s not easy. If it were, we’d all be looking like models and feeling great, living to 107-years-old. But, honestly, put down the Mountain Dew, the once a day Starbucks, the Mega sized French fries and the $5 pizzas. Make better choices and park a little further, walk a little more. Love your body and love yourself and make sure that you are around for the people who love you most, especially the little ones.

As for Nicole Arbour, I feel like taking her video down is censorship. Put it back up. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to watch it. Just because we don’t like what we hear doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t have the right to say it. I might not agree with everything Nicole Arbour said and it’s certainly not politically correct but it is true in some circumstances. Honestly, I’d prefer that if we’re going to censor something, let’s please take away public speaking privileges to bigots like Trump and Coulter.

Sticks and Stones people. Arbour has no power over you, unless you give it to her. If you don’t approve, just ignore her.

What did you think of Nicole Arbour and her Dear Fat People video?

2015/09/08 1 comment

back to me, taking care of yourself, back-to-school, me time, time for yourself, the cure for mom brain

Confessions

Back-to-School means Time to Get Back to Me

by Deborah Cruz 2015/08/21

written by Deborah Cruz

Summer was insane around here, packed full of traveling and the making of all the fun childhood memories but now it’s time to get back to me. It was awesome for the girls and us too. I love having them home but for me it was a little bit of the summer of Mom Interrupted.

My house looked like a cyclone hit it at all times. Getting work done felt like a covert opp because I was doing it after they went to bed, before they woke up and sneaking away for quiet moments at my keyboard while they were occupied with the Big Guy outside; all the while my heart was longing to be outside with them enjoying it. The mommy guilt was strong with me this summer, even though I was putting most things aside to be in the moment. It just never felt like enough.

I’ve noticed the older they get, the faster the summers go and more and more often I feel myself being torn between being their mom, his wife and my own person. I want to be happy and to be happy; those three components need to coexist in harmony. I need to be there for them but I definitely need to be here for me too. When the balance gets out of whack, my entire universe starts spinning off its axis. The truth is that one thing fuels the other and makes it better.

But how do I be there for them and still get back to me?

Being a good wife means a happy marriage, which means a stable, happy home for my children but none of that is possible if I am not happy with myself. So I have these three balls in the air at all times; my career, my daughters and my husband. Usually it is easy, I mean these are my priorities so 3 priorities are perfect until anything unexpected or extra comes up (which has been happening all summer) and then all the balls start dropping and I am jumping around like a mad woman trying to catch them before they hit the floor and shatter because obviously in my mind my balls are fragile. But my balls are strong; they are made of rubber. Anyways, enough about comparing my family to balls. The point is they are more resilient than I give them credit for and so am I.

But school has started back and I am writing in quiet from the hours of 8-2:30 and our routine is hectic but it’s manageable because we work together as a family to function smoothly. Sure there are hiccups but with everyone being flexible and having our priorities, life is easier. The thing that really keeps all the balls in the air is recognizing when one of us needs a break from the juggling or needs some extra TLC.

Every so often when things at the office get a little too hectic or my husband has a big project due, we all recognize that he might need a little more time to play Call of Duty and kill some zombies to decompress so I ask him to do less around the house during that time. Sometimes the kids get overwhelmed with homework and extracurricular activities, especially when they have performances or big tests coming up and that’s when they get extra cuddles, more understanding and maybe a pass on chores. And sometimes, I really need a day of quiet, to sleep in or just someone else to juggle all the balls for awhile because my arms are exhausted and this is when my family steps in and takes over; back-to-school is one of those times of year.

The girls are excited and anxious about starting a new school year with new teachers and new friends but at the same time, I am juggling all the balls and about 20 more and after a summer with just throwing balls and letting them fall where they may, this is near impossible and very stressful. I am in desperate need of a girl’s weekend in Chicago, a week at the beach or just a spa day.

Who am I kidding, I would settle for a day of no obligations; sleeping through the night without any interruptions and waking up on my own, a hot, relaxing bath, take out, no kids bickering and a back massage by the Big Guy. That sounds just about like perfection to me.

What’s your idea of the perfect back to me day?

Disclosure: I am a Wayfair ambassador but all opinions about how I get back to me are my own.

2015/08/21 0 comment

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