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Deborah Cruz

How to SEO optimize your blog, SEO, SEO Optimization search engine optimization, SEO Tips

Feeling completely overwhelmed by SEO Optimization? Just starting out as a blogger and have no idea where to start with search engine optimization? I am sharing everything you need to know about SEO or everything I’ve learned in the last 3 months of conference sessions at Disney Social Media Moms Celebration and Mom 2.0. I’ve been doing this for 9 years and these sessions blew my mind.

The first rule of SEO optimization is to go for the organic traffic.

Algorithms are always changing, put your attention and time into the only thing you control, your blog. Plus, did you know that the pay is better for organic traffic?

READ ALSO: Rise of the REAL

First thing is first when you decide to sit down and figure out your SEO optimization goals and make a plan to conquer those goals, keep these things in mind. You can also go here to learn the untold secrets of SEO.

1.User Experience
As bloggers, we base a lot of things on algorithms and the Internet but your audience is human beings. Always keep that in mind. Is your site easy to navigate and find things? If not, people will leave. Also, I know you are tempted to keyword stuff so that Google sees you but then you are spammy and the humans will turn the channel so always make the humans your priority. Google will see you as authentic and rank you better. Keyword stuffing will get you a slap on the wrist from Google and you don’t want that.

2. Answer the questions your audience needs the answer to.
Be a source of good information or entertainment. Give them a reason to come back. I’m a storyteller so I’m not always telling you how to do something. Most of the time I’m sharing how I got through something; the solution that worked for me. It might not teach you how to do it but there is value in being the person who shares with you that you are not alone. It won’t make you any money but I feel good when I make people feel, in a time when they might otherwise feel alone, that I’ve been there. That kind of reach is priceless.

3. Provide useful information.
Make sure it’s useful and not just what they can already find everywhere else. According to Marketix SEO Agency, it’s highly essential that you look for keywords that are highly searched but have low to medium competition so you have a better chance of ranking. Google the topic you want to write about and see what comes up in search. See what articles are ranking in the top 10 and see how you can answer that question more efficiently or more in-depth or more specifically. Or see if you can answer a question that is not being answered.

4. Establish Domain Authority

How to grow your Domain Authority is one of the great mysteries of the Internet. It used to be easy you could check your Google Page Rank and you knew where you stood. I used to have a 6. Of course, that means nothing now, as it is no longer available. But here is how to grow your domain authority authentically.

5. Optimize old content.
Yes, remember how back in 2009 none of us knew what SEO optimization was so most of those old posts are not search engine optimized? Well, that is traffic just sitting there waiting to be activated. My old posts, those awesome evergreen ones about being a mom and raising babies are just waiting to be seen my new audience of awesome millennials.

6.New content research.
Check your reports and see what is working for your site. What are you ranking on the front page for? What low competition words can you be ranking higher for? Do more of that. I’ll share the reports to check all of this next week on a post. Make sure you come back next week. I will also put it in the newsletter this Sunday.

7. Think mobile.
Most of our audience is now mobile. Currently, about 61% of my traffic is mobile so make sure that your site is mobile friendly or people will leave. Nobody has time for a subpar experience. They will leave.

8. Consider your site speed
Same goes for your site speed. If your website takes forever to load people will bounce and go someplace where they can get the information quicker. Make sure that you are doing everything possible to make sure that page loads in a timely manner.

9. Make sure that your images are optimized and compressed.
This is no joke. Make sure that your photos are optimized for SEO to bring the traffic and compressed in size to keep the audience. There is nothing worse than photos that take forever to load. It’s annoying and, if you’re like me, I just don’t have the patience. I don’t want a surprise; I want the info I came to the site in search of. The only thing worse is self-starting video. Don’t do it.

 

READ ALSO: How Mom 2.0 Renewed My Faith in Blogging and In Me

10. Last but definitely not least, run your reports to know where to focus your attention. I heard an amazing speaker at Mom 2.0 and she shared all the information on how to access and use the Google analytic reports, Googe Search Console and SEM Rush and even a secret report that I NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE. Yes, you need all of these to effectively optimize your site. These reports gave me insights into my website that I never even considered before.

Aside from just who my audience is to when they are online, what days of the week they are reading, where they are reading, what social media channels they are accessing my content and at what times. Besides just their demographics, their spending habits and where they live, these reports help me know what they want from my content. That’s not to say that I am going to change what I am going to write but it definitely makes me consider my audience and who I am talking to.

I will provide all of those steps to access those reports in a post next week on this blog but if you want it sooner, I will be including it in my newsletter this Sunday. So if you are signed up, you will get that. If not and you’d like that information sooner, please subscribe to the newsletter.

I’m doing lots of research into SEO optimization, are there any questions that you’d like me to find the answers to in my research?

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backyard, garden, patio,How to Make Your Dream Backyard Garden and Patio

Wondering how to get your dream backyard garden and patio and when to start your home improvement project? The weather is warming up, the sun is shining and I am having dreams of sitting on my back deck, watching the girls play with their friends while I finally put that margarita machine to use with my friends.

My backyard garden and patio are much like my house, a fixer-upper. Luckily, the Big Guy doesn’t shy away from DIY home renovations and I have lots of great ideas. This is why we work so well together. To revitalize and clean patios like this, it’s advisable to use a high quality cleaning equipment, like the best pressure washers to buy, for instance.

READ ALSO: How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

Currently, our backyard garden and patio are good. The grass is lush, the firepit is welcoming and the deck is clean. We have lots of shade and it’s just a really comfortable space to be in. However, there is no covering on the deck ( we built a pergola and hung drapes at our previous house) and that means no privacy which is a slight issue when the neighborhood walking paths run parallel to your backyard. If this is a problem for you, then you might want to hire professionals from a wood fencing company to build a fence for your backyard.

What would your dream backyard garden and patio look like?

My dream backyard garden and patio would include some kind of coverage and protection from the weather, as well as, some privacy. I’d like something that allowed us to be outside while protected from the mosquitos as well if I’m being honest. I’d like my outdoor living space to be an extension of our indoor living space. I’d like it to be fun, functional and comfortable but stylish. If you were to spruce up your own garden and patio, I would recommend you to opt for the expertise of a  london tradesmen because they are deeply knowledgeable in outdoor home improvements.

I love the idea of globe string lights hung throughout the yard or perhaps this spectacular solar spotlight for ambiance. You can get one by visiting Steel Lighting Co. Perhaps some new Adirondack chairs around the fire pit. They make me nostalgic of our summers in Ogunquit and truly that is my happy place. Definitely, need a grill for cooking outdoors. I love the taste of chargrilled food in the summertime. Ample seating for those friends of mine that I plan on hosting for margaritas. Now, all I need to do is some landscape update.

READ ALSO: Elote Casserole Recipe

If I’m really dreaming big, a hot tub with all the jets would be a great addition to our family’s yard. We all have muscle aches; between the girls and ballet and the Big Guy and I with all the old age and broken bones and whatnot, a hot tub is a must. I know a hot tub sounds ultra retro but I promise we won’t be getting any lava lamps or water beds any time soon.

There are still a lot of ways to spice up this area. You can also check out these options from RTA Outdoor Living.

Here are a few items on my wishlist to make my dream backyard garden and patio a reality.

Willingboro Solid Wood Adirondack ChairWillingboro Solid Wood Adirondack Chair // More Patio FurnitureFordyce Solid Wood Adirondack ChairFordyce Solid Wood Adirondack Chair // More Adirondack Chairs100-Light 100 ft. Globe String Lights100-Light 100 ft. Globe String Lights // More String LightsWire Free Take Me SpeakerWire Free Take Me Speaker // More Decorative Media Players
Outdoor Kitchen Prep TableOutdoor Kitchen Prep Table // More Outdoor Kitchens13.5 in. Cadet Built-In/Kamado Charcoal Grill13.5 in. Cadet Built-In/Kamado Charcoal Grill // More Charcoal GrillsKamado Grill CoverKamado Grill Cover // More Grill CoversOdilia Tropical Palms Indoor/Outdoor Area RugOdilia Tropical Palms Indoor/Outdoor Area Rug // More Area Rugs
Greening Outdoor Daybed with Ottoman & CushionsGreening Outdoor Daybed with Ottoman & Cushions // More Patio FurnitureRyele Canopy Outdoor Patio Daybed with CushionsRyele Canopy Outdoor Patio Daybed with Cushions // More Outdoor Sofas & LoveseatsNewport Circular Sun Daybed with CushionsNewport Circular Sun Daybed with Cushions // More Patio DaybedsCollingswood 3-Piece Conversation Set with CushionsCollingswood 3-Piece Conversation Set with Cushions // More Conversation Sets
Benbow 8-Piece Sofa Set with CushionsBenbow 8-Piece Sofa Set with Cushions // More Patio Lounge FurnitureVerona 11.5 ft. W x 16.5 ft. D Aluminum PergolaVerona 11.5 ft. W x 16.5 ft. D Aluminum Pergola // More Pergolas8-Person 88-Jet Spa with Stainless Jets and Waterfall8-Person 88-Jet Spa with Stainless Jets and Waterfall // More Hot TubsSpa StepSpa Step // More Hot Tub Accessories
Deluxe Spa StepDeluxe Spa Step // More Hot Tub & Spa Steps5-Person 30-Jet Spa with Backlit LED Waterfall5-Person 30-Jet Spa with Backlit LED Waterfall // More LED Lighting Hot TubsStripe Beach TowelStripe Beach Towel // More Beach TowelsMonterry Eco-Friendly Outdoor Hardwood Garden BenchMonterry Eco-Friendly Outdoor Hardwood Garden Bench // More Benches

If you could build your dream backyard garden and patio, what would that look like?

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love letter, 11th birthday, love letter to my daughter

This is my love letter to my 11-year-old daughter. It’s hard to believe that the last time I brought a child into the world was 11 years ago today. I didn’t know then that would be the last time. I thought I had more time.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was bigger this time than the first time. I could barely see my toes. But we were so excited to take our little family of 3 to 4. I was nervous. I couldn’t sleep the night before the induction because I knew, just like the first time, this baby was going to change everything.

I won’t lie, we had quite the eventful labor and delivery. I knew it wasn’t going to be like the first birth when about 3 hours into the induction, we realized that our video camera wasn’t working. All of this preparation and the camera didn’t work. The Big Guy called his brother who lived a couple hours away and my brother-in-law, who was in doing his residency at the time, somehow cleared his entire day and drove us his camera to use. I will never forget that.

READ ALSO: Love Letter to my Daughter on her 7th Birthday

I’ll also never forget that he drove all that way, gave us the camera, wished us luck and drove right back to where he came from. He had no interest in accidentally being present when delivery rolled around. I remember it was funny to me because…he’s a doctor. But I will never forget the huge gesture he did without hesitation he brought us a camera to record our daughter’s birth. He was like a very humble superhero.

I remember laying there in my hospital bed while the Big Guy walked his brother out, about 7 hours into the induction and a broken waters later, looking at my cell phone and seeing a picture of my firstborn and second-guessing the entire thing. What was I thinking? How could I ever love another child as much as I did my first daughter? Was that even possible? I cried. No, I sobbed because all I could think, with my second baby stuck inside me and my first baby at home completely confused at 2-years-old as to where I’d gone off to with my big belly, was that one or both of them were going to feel like they got less love than the other. The thought of it broke my heart.

love letter, 11th birthday, love letter to my daughter

Eventually, after hours of trying different positions, a nurse had to lay on top of me to help push my Gabs out. I was in labor for what seemed like forever; scared to fail both of my children, certain I was not going to be able to do it and afraid that, unlike the Grinch, my heart wouldn’t grow two sizes. But it did.

From the moment I saw all that black curly hair in the mirror as I was pushing our Gabs into the world, I knew it was going to be alright. Apparently, I am a Grinch at heart. They laid her on my chest, after removing the cord from her neck and her purple body, and I was reminded in that moment how lucky I was to be a mother and what a privilege it was to bring her into this world.

love letter, 11th birthday, love letter to my daughter

I was reminded again how thin the veil between life and death truly is and I gave myself over to an overwhelming, all-encompassing, everything is going to be alright kind of love, much like I did the first time. In these moments, I’ve been proven that miracles exist and in these miracles, in my baby’s eyes, I see God in his purest form.

READ ALSO: Love Letter to my Tween

Of course, the next day my firstborn daughter came to meet Gabs at the hospital and was so confused and overwhelmed by everything that I checked myself out of the hospital AMA before 24 hours because even though I was basking in the glow of my newborn baby, I knew my 2-year-old still needed me too. This heart doubling in size thing was still new to me and I had to figure out how to live in my new reality of 4. But it was good and Gabs completed us.

love letter, 11th birthday, love letter to my daughter

This is my love letter to my daughter on her 11th birthday

Gabs,

You are like sunshine on the water. Beautiful, special and breathtaking but a moving target. Just when I think I have you figured out, you grow and move and everything shifts and I have to work to learn to understand you again, from another vantage point.

You were born an old soul. In many ways, you are more mature than your big sister but in many ways, you are still just a little kid. The way you play, laugh and the pattern of your freckles spread out across your cheeks, as your glassy blue eyes smile out at me from beneath a cascade of honey-kissed summer hair, always disheveled, reminds me that you are still a little girl in many ways.

Yet at other times, the words you speak, the soulfulness in your eyes, the crack in your voice when something makes you sad reminds me that soon you will be a woman. You are straddling between the two worlds right now; one foot firmly planted in childhood while the other is stepping into womanhood.

I feel you pulling away, little by little, like the pull of the tide on the waves. I feel myself letting go, gently, like the wisps of a dandelion being blown into the summer sun full of hope and wishes. This is the hard part.

All I want to do is hold on tighter. Reign you in and pull you back close to me but I can’t. I have to let you go so that you know that I trust you. I have to give you freedom so that you can grow and find your way back to me.

Just know that I will always love you, no matter what you do or where you go. I will always be there to pick you up when you need me to. I will not judge you. I will not abandon you. I will not belittle and berate you. I will respect you. You can talk to me about anything and I will listen.

When I look at you, I will probably always, at first glance, see that newborn baby girl with the black, curly hair and the chubby little cheeks. I’ll remember the way you smelled of Johnson’s and Johnson’s baby soap and your baby breath of green apples. But know that I see you, the young woman that you are trying to become. I see the butterfly but I’ll never forget the chrysalis you once were.

Love you forever to the moon and back,

Mommy

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Mother's Day, Mother's Day gift, girl mom

Moms will tell you they want nothing for Mother’s Day. Some will tell you that you are enough. Your cute little faces and your sticky little hands. She means it, for about an hour Mother’s Day morning while you are serving her breakfast in bed and handing her sweet homemade gifts. They really are the best Mother’s Day gifts of all; tiny handprints and papier Mache flowers made with love and baby spit add to it a sweetly scribbled I love you by your little one and you are mommy mush.

But that’s not what she really wants. What every mother wants for Mother’s Day is the day off. No cleaning. No dishes. No laundry. No cooking. No obligations.

Quite frankly, the best Mother’s Day gift is the day off from mom duty.

Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s us. Just kidding, it’ you.

Being a mom is amazing. I love being a mom 364 days a year. Ok, maybe it’s more like 355 days a year but I need days off people. Even the janitor gets 2 days off a week.

But most moms are too afraid to say it out loud because they don’t want to offend anyone, least of all aforementioned children and the man who helped make this dream of motherhood come true. But if I’m being completely honest, and I am speaking on behalf of 99.9% of the moms (I know because I took an unofficial poll of moms drinking wine and dropping truth bombs) we all want the day off.

I want to sleep in until I wake up. Then by all means, please bring me a hot breakfast in bed with milky hot coffee. Spoiler alert, mommy does not like cold food. I never have, baby. To be honest, cold food is kind of disgusting. I’d rather not eat at all. I’ve been faking it for years.

I don’t want to do anything. I want no obligations. I want to move freely in the world with no one tethered to my side. I want to play the music I want to hear at the degree of loudness I want to listen to it and I want to dance without you looking at me like I’m a weirdo.

I want to watch whatever R rated movie or mind-numbing television I want to watch with no regard for what you want to do. I want to take a long, hot bath with no one knocking on the door or hearing bickering children. I want more out of life than an unlocked, half-open bathroom door where I take a semi-private timed race piss. I want privacy.

I want time to be able to fix my hair, put on my makeup, iron my clothes and get ready without having to be somewhere. I don’t want to get ready while you rush me because I need to taxi you someplace I never wanted to go in the first place. And no, your obnoxious friend who never shuts up and is entirely too loud cannot come over today. No child that hasn’t sprung from my vagina cannot be in my house on Mother’s Day. Go bother your own mom.

I don’t want to have to break up any sibling fights. Suffer the wrath of any rolling eyeballs or be subjected to listening to endless hours of you. On this one sacred day, can it please be about me? For the love of God, can I eat strawberry ice cream? You are probably wondering what the hell I mean by this.

It has come to my attention recently that my favorite ice cream is fresh strawberry ice cream. However, fresh strawberry ice cream will never be found in my house. Want to know why? Because my children don’t like strawberry ice cream and apparently, I live my life around their happiness and forget about my own. Well, not today suckers! I am eating strawberry ice cream while drinking vodka and watching a Fifty Shades of Gray marathon. Just kidding, no fucking way am I wasting my day off watching a movie whose book reads like it was written by an illiterate teenager.

Mostly, I want to have choices to do what I want to do, free of the influence of what everyone else around me wants to do. I think all moms deserve a day off to spend however they want to without guilt or retribution. If she wants to spend it with you, she’ll call you. You don’t have to call her.

I won’t lie, I am pretty lucky. The Big Guy figured me out around my 3rd Mother’s Day. He came in and said, don’t lift a finger. I’ll take care of everything. Take the day off. And that’s when I decided he’s never getting rid of me. We are lobsters. I’m never taking my claws off him. This man gets me.

So if you think taking mom to brunch and making her hang out with the kids all day is what mother’s day is all about, you have missed the memo. We get it. We’re moms. We do it every single day. If you want to make things special. Take the kids to the park or the movies and give mom time to relax and think, maybe catch up on her favorite binge-watching a show or take that long hot bath with her 80’s music blaring. Give her time to miss you and appreciate the kids. Hell, go crazy take them away for the weekend. Come back on Sunday for the celebration.

If you’re looking for something at a gift shop to give us and want to throw some chocolates and diamonds at us, or if you’re planning to pick up flowers from a florist, we don’t mind. Those are the cherries on top of motherhood. But what we really want is the day off to do what we want. Think of it this way dads, on Father’s day, you probably don’t spend the day at home being held, hostage. Most dad’s get the day to go golfing using this overhead mounted monitor like all men like to do without kids. Why is that? Because sometimes you just want to feel like a human and not just someone’s parent. Well, we moms…we feel the same way.

Don’t get me wrong, we love those little people we created (probably more than you, if we’re being honest. After all, we’ve been known to horde teeth and umbilical cords. Some of us have even sucked snot out of babies noses and masticated their food. (not me of course. I’d never do that to food. Besides babies don’t eat cucumbers 😉 ) The thing is all good things in moderation.

We will happily accept your gifts and your notes but know, what we really want is peace and permission to be ourselves; a day to exhale. I guess what I’m really trying to say is just give mom a lot of love and a little space this Mother’s Day.

But in all seriousness, be kind to all the moms you know; yours, the mother of your children, your friends who are pregnant and even those desperately struggling to become pregnant and especially those moms who have lost babies and those who have lost their moms. And really, be kind to your mom every day, once a year is not nearly enough to show ample affection for the woman who gave you life.

What’s the best Mother’s Day gift you ever received and what’s at the top of your list?

P.S. I Love you, mom.

! Happy Mother’s Day!

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miscarriage, loss, pregnancy, I forgot, fertility, motherlode, babble.com, babble, amy klein

I Forgot

It was a crazy busy day last Tuesday.

I was flying across the country.

Headed to a conference for this blog.

Excited to see old friends.

Trepidatious for a reason I couldn’t quite place.

I Forgot.

6 years ago on that day.

All I could do was cry.

I lost my baby.

There was no heartbeat.

I turned primal and feral.

But today, I forgot.

READ ALSO: Unexpected  Pregnancy at 40, what would you do?

Every day, I think of that day.

Every moment, I know something is missing.

There is no closure but I have made peace with the pain.

It took 6 years to not wince at the thought of it.

But today, I was busy with minutia and there was no marking of time.

I Forgot.

The lady next to me on the plane had a beautiful little boy.

He climbed into my lap and held my face.

I was moved.

His little arms and legs, that smile.

I’ve missed it.

READ ALSO: Missing that New Baby Smell

But on the plane, I Forgot.

I arrived and met my friends.

I was weary and distracted,

Discombobulated and put out.

Disconnected and distant.

I was there but I wasn’t.

That’s when I realized that maybe I hadn’t remembered to cry

but my heart did not forget and it never will.

Have you ever forgotten an important day in your life and if you have, how did you deal with that?

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mom 2.0 Summit, Langham Pasadena, Blogging, blogging anniversary, anniversary

Today is my 9th blogging anniversary. I can’t believe the TRUTH about Motherhood was started when my baby was only 1-year-old. Where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday that I was writing under the pseudonym Truthful Mommy and you were all my lifeline. I wrote the stories but you guys were definitely my phone a friend. Thank you for being on this fantastic journey with me.

I’m just back from the Mom 2.0 Summit and still really high on all the energy and people that I just spent the last week soaking in. I networked with a lot of solid brands that I love and are a good organic fit for me. I got to rub elbows with the likes of  Kristen Bell, Debbie Allen and Brene Brown. I learned so much at the most amazing sessions. Even after almost a decade of blogging, I am still learning. Most importantly, I had the opportunity to connect and reconnect with all my friends who live in my computer.

mom 2.0 Summit, Langham Pasadena, Blogging, blogging anniversary, anniversary

If you’re a blogger, you know exactly what I mean. If you are not and you actually get out in the world at a time in history when most of us communicate through our tech devices, bravo for you because you are one of the lucky ones. The thing is I’ve made friends who’ve virtually held my hands through some of the toughest and happiest moments of my life and we’ve never met face to face. Things get lost in translation when you are communicating online. There is no tone.

READ ALSO: This Blogger’s Life, Vera Sweeney

However, when you meet someone that’s been there for you and vice versa for almost a decade the transition is almost seamless. I got to meet some friends for the first time ever. I got to hug people who I haven’t seen in at least a year and some even longer (too many to mention but you know who you are and I love you all so much) and I finally got to meet a couple of my blogging heroes, women who write from the heart and put it all on the line.

I met quite a few new bloggers who I’d never read before but now I will because of the amazing conversations we had in the hallways, elevators, the pub and restrooms. I have to say, the IRL interactions with all of these women are what blogging is all about. I even finally got to drive the KIA Stinger and I may, or may not, have gotten In & Out.

KIA stinger, mom 2.0 Summit, Langham Pasadena, Blogging, blogging anniversary, anniversary

But one of the most unexpected exchanges that happened at Mom 2.0 Summit came out of nowhere and bowled me over. It came from one of my former editors and it was as unexpected as a blow to the head at a church service.

As a writer sometimes (a lot of the time) it feels like you are sending your thoughts out into the abyss. You are never quite sure anyone is reading and if they are, you often wonder are they actually seeing you; understanding the meaning of the words you are writing. Sometimes I feel like I’m writing in a foreign language.

For me, writing is fulfilling on a deeper level than most other things and it is truly how I process life. It’s my medium and when you open your soul and share your story, you hope that someone (anyone) is reading and it means something to them. In a lot of ways writing is like motherhood, it is beautiful and soul filling but at the same time, it is often thankless.

I spend most of the time feeling like a failure at what I do and the other half feeling like an imposter. Since people have stopped commenting on blogs like they used to, it really feels like I am shouting out into the nothingness. Some days I wonder why I’m doing this. Then, I remember it is not about other people, it’s about getting my thoughts down and preserving these moments for my daughters. Still, it’s always nice to feel like your words helped someone, even if it is just by making them laugh or giving them the solace of knowing they are not alone.

The thing is this editor came up to me during the party after the IRIS awards. I was standing there in a room full of winners feeling like a giant loser. I was tired and jetlagged and was seriously considering sneaking away but I stayed because the only thing worse than Imposter syndrome is FOMO. I often feel like I need to make my exit before I’m revealed as the imposter that  I am.

iris awards, mom 2.0 Summit, Langham Pasadena, Blogging, blogging anniversary, anniversary

Anyways, this woman who is a phenomenal editor (who edits amazing writers every day) came up to me and told me that it was a privilege and honor to have edited my stories. How these are the moments that made her work feel worthwhile. I was stunned.

She said more but I don’t remember the exact words as I was crying like a baby next to the dance floor because her words moved me. In those few moments, she validated me and made me feel like I was heard and I belonged. I don’t know if she knew how much her words meant to me. I’m not sure that she can.

I tried to convey it, as I stood there with my face melting off as I cried through my contouring but words seemed too small when such a big gesture had been made.

You see, for the past year, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the backend of blogging.  I think many of us are. All that I’ve ever wanted to do was write. Write my stories free of worry about all the things like SEO, keywords, traffic, meta tags, understanding google analytics, pinning to win, facebooking to reach the masses, having the perfect cohesive Instagram, posting at the right times on the right days and writing for the right audience.

I want to write but blogging is my business and to have the honor of doing what I love, I have to learn to do a whole lot of other things that are out of my wheelhouse. This often leaves me feeling like I am on the outside looking in because in the blogging world, traffic equals jobs. Numbers equal traffic not always considering engagement so where does that leave me? Content is no longer king, it is the queen and SEO is the King and I feel like while the queen and I are besties, the King doesn’t much care for me.

I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that after 9 years, when I was tired and feeling like giving up, feeling like the biggest imposter on the Internet, I went to this Mom 2.0 Summit and I heard all the right things from all the right people. My heart was full. My soul set on fire and my mind could clearly see the direction I need to go. I’m not quitting, I’m rebooting. I’m going back to what I love… writing from the heart.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still trying to understand the business side of all of it. I have to, it’s irresponsible not to but I’m not letting myself get overwhelmed by it. Blogging is my passion and sharing my stories with you is what fuels my soul. If just one person gets something out of my words, it is all worth it.

Hearing her words reminded me that you never know where your words are landing and how they are touching others. I’m not an imposter, I am a writer and my words deserve to be read just as much as I deserve to belong. I can’t be on the outside looking in because I am the protagonist in my story.

Here’s to being lucky enough to be writing for you in another 9 years. Thank you for reading my stories and sharing yours with me.

Here’s to many more Blogging Anniversary

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fresh cut flowers, peonies, flowers, wayfair, spring

Where were the fresh cut flowers? Where was the sweet fragrance wafting through the air? Winter was so long this year? I am basking in the warmer temps. All I want to do is be outside surrounded by nature. I’ve brought my office outside because I am so vitamin D deprived.

One of my favorite things about spring is all the life; new growth and so much beauty. After a winter in Indiana, where everything is brown and dry, occasionally covered in dirty snow, there is nothing more welcome than sunshine, blue skies, birds singing and fresh flowers.

flowers, fresh cut flowers, mood elevator

I keep a little of the outdoors inside all year long with my orchids but at my first chance, I like to bring fresh cut flowers inside to brighten up the mood. Fresh flowers are more than just beautiful, they bring the fragrance and vibrancy of spring to life. They make you happy.

fresh cut flowers, peonies, flowers, wayfair, spring

I actually keep a flower garden outside so that I can have fresh cut flowers, all summer long.

My favorite flowers dublin are peonies and there is something about seeing them on my table every morning that makes my heart happy. It’s funny how something so small and trivial can change your entire mood.

I can wake up feeling overwhelmed by the tasks of the day, hello laundry and dishes, the monotony of real life but somehow seeing those fresh cut peonies make an otherwise ordinary day feel special. It’s the same way that I feel when my husband surprises me with flowers. Why does that feeling need to be reserved for special occasions? Don’t we deserve to feel special every day?

fresh cut flowers, peonies, flowers, wayfair, spring

It’s like saving your favorite clothes or shoes for special occasions. Why isn’t every single day that we’re alive, that the sun is out, a special day? I want to live with more gratitude and appreciation for the small things. Life doesn’t need to be filled with momentous occasions and grandiose gestures, I just need to take a minute to see the good and the purpose in everything and be glad that I am a part of it all.

Flowers for me are such a small thing but they mean so much. So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, ordinary or just uninspired with life, get yourself some fresh flowers, pop them in a cute vase and put them on a table. Before you know it, you will be a little happier, feel a little more inspired and you probably won’t even realize why. It’s the flowers feeling your heart up with joy and your house up with spring.

What’s your favorite fresh cut flower and how does it make you feel?

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I think maybe Kanye West, (or is it Kanye West Kardashian?) is having a midlife crisis, an identity crisis or flat out needs some attention. He is running around Twitter posting pics of himself wearing Make American Great Again hats. Tweeting that Donald Trump is his “dragon energy brother”. Did your brain just go, “WTF” too?

We all know that Kanye West has always been about the drama and loves to stir every pot counter-clockwise. Attention is his middle name. Part of what makes him and Kim work, they get each other. Plus, they are both so busy looking at themselves in the mirror and snapping butt selfies that they don’t have the time to be bothered with what kind of crazy the other is involved in.

After Kanye West posted the pic of himself wearing the “Make America Great Again” hat and criticizing former President Barack Obama, there was backlash from fans. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

 

Look, I get it. As a Chicagoan, he has his right to have his opinion about the state of Chicago and, even though I loved President Obama, it wasn’t always smooth sailing ( remember how the gulf oil spill seafood situation was handled?) But he knew what he was doing and to be fair, he was handed a giant bad of crap when he took office. 

There’s been some beef (in Kanye’s mind) between Kanye West and Barack Obama since the President called Kanye a “jackass” in 2009 after the Taylor Swift incident at the VMA’s in 2009. Didn’t everybody?

READ ALSO: My Father the Immigrant

As one who thrives in drama, after the backlash started to roll in, Kanye West tweeted this about Donald Trump. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

“You don’t have to agree with trump but the mob can’t make me not love him,” West tweeted earlier Wednesday. “We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don’t agree with everything anyone does. That’s what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought.” 

Fuel meet fire. Twitter exploded. Kim Kardashian may have broke the internet with her ass a few years ago but I’d say Kanye West gives her a run for her money with his penchant for drama in the public eye and especially on the internet.

Of course, Donald Trump, who also loves Twitter attention had to tweet back to Kanye West, obviously, quoting his dragon energy brother. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

“Thank you Kanye, very cool!” Trump tweeted on Wednesday, quoting West’s tweet.

The series of tweets comes after fans lamented a report this week from Hot 97 radio host Ebro Darden that West recently told him, “I love Donald Trump,” and defended a previous tweet in which the rapper complimented conservative commentator Candace Owens according to CNN.

I’d like to say that I am shocked but nothing Kanye West Kardashian does shocks me anymore.  I am kind of sick in my stomach that any person of color could support an openly racist man who feels that people of color are less than he is. Also, I thought we all figured out in 2016 that “Make America Great Again” was code for “Make America White Again”? Maybe Kanye was too busy stirring up his own drama that he missed the memo or maybe he is keeping his enemies closer. Maybe he is the smartest man out there or maybe he is straight up batsh*t crazy. 

READ ALSO: Eminem’s the Storm Says what All of Sane America Feels about Trump

I do agree with one thing Kanye said, we do all have the right to independent thought and freedom of speech so I guess we don’t have to like what he tweets or thinks or who he loves and supports, even if it is Donald Trump. We have the option of turning the channel and not reading his tweets, not engaging and not reacting because isn’t that why Kanye does everything? For the reaction of the public. Isn’t that his brand? Maybe this latest series of tweets on Twitter were nothing more than Kanye West once again stirring the pot counter clockwise.

What are your thoughts on Kanye West’s tweets on Twitter yesterday about Donald Trump?

Real dragon energy brotherly love or just one more way for Kanye to keep his brand front and center in the public eye?

Also, I still don’t get On Fleek or why that Walmart singing boy is so funny to floss to so can you please explain to me what the hell “Dragon energy” is? Is it like dragon breath but in energy form?

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raising teenage girls, teen girls, tween girls, teenage girls, parenting teenage girls

If you read last week’s part 1 of tips for raising teenage girls and you’ve returned, welcome back. You are certainly among friends. Raising teen girls is difficult regardless of how the kid behaves. She can be the most complacent, compliant, sweet teenage girl of all teenage girls and you will still need to know these tips because there is a hormonal storm brewing inside that child and it is our responsibility as parents, to try and make the transition as easy as possible.

Not like we can have any kind of control of what they are thinking or how they are feeling or how any of it is going to land on them. Just remember puberty is like a bomb going off inside of a girl. She has no idea how to deal with all of these emotions, her body and the sexual way she might be feeling towards boys (or girls). It’s all okay. We don’t have to fix it. We just have to be there to listen and understand.

READ ALSO: Faster than a Speeding Bullet.

I know you are going to have days where you feel at your wits end. I’ve got a tween and a teenage girl, so this happens to me quite a bit these days. I’ve learned to try and not take it personally. The truth is it hurts. There is nothing wrong with taking a minute to react. Sometimes you just have to step back, take a breath and think about what you are about to do because blowing up at a teenage girl is about as helpful as carrying a paper umbrella in a monsoon.It’s actually ridiculous and someone might get hurt.

raising teenage girls, teen girls, tween girls, teenage girls, parenting teenage girls

Here are my Next 5 Tips for Raising Teenage Girls

The time for catching your teenager when they fall is over. It’s time to help them up when they stumble because they have to learn some lessons on their own.

Obviously, no one wants to watch their child get hurt. When they were learning to walk, I sheltered them; catching them before they fell. But as parents to teenage girls, you have to let go a little. This is when they learn to make good choices on their own. This is when we have to have a little faith in all the parenting we have done up until now. We have to teach them to live in this world without us, so we have to learn to trust them to make those good choices.

READ ALSO: Parent the Kids You Have

Alone time with your teenager.

Bella hit 13 and it suddenly became abundantly clear to me that our time together under the same roof, seeing her sweet sleepy face stumble into my kitchen every morning and kissing me good morning are coming quickly to an end. I have 5 years and it is not enough so make time to have alone time with your teenage girls. They may not seem like they need or want it but they do, more than ever. These alone times are when they feel free to ask you questions and talk freely. Do something they like. It doesn’t even matter what it is. It’s not about what you do or where you go, it’s about the time together. Always remember that.

Privacy for your teenager.

They are no longer children. My tween and teenage girls are starting to look a lot more like young ladies and a lot less like children but they still need parental guidance. At the same time, they need and deserve privacy to think and be alone with their thoughts. This is a delicate balance of letting go and holding on. Check-in. I know my girls need space sometimes, so do I. They are trying to figure out all of this too. Their bodies are changing. Their minds are focusing on different things. It’s like being reborn and your own skin doesn’t feel like it fits anymore and everyone you know is going through the same thing. You love it but you kind of hate it but mostly, you need space to figure it all out without someone over your shoulder at every moment. But remember to let them know you are still there, whenever they need you.

raising teenage girls, teen girls, tween girls, teenage girls, parenting teenage girls

Love your teenager for who they are, not who you want them to be. They are a person, they have free thought and you have to give them the independence to explore who they are becoming.

Just love them no matter what even when you don’t completely understand or you think they are overreacting to something you know will pass. You know because you’ve already lived through it. Remember, when you are a teenage girl and going through these things for the first time, you don’t have the benefit of experience or wisdom. It is huge. Also, the teen years are for figuring out what you like and believe independent of your parents and those around you, so give them that space and don’t discourage them because they aren’t just like you were or are. Just remember how much you love them and remind them that you will keep on loving them, no matter what. Love them unconditionally. No matter how big they get, they are still your child and will always need your love and support.

READ ALSO: What to do when You Catch a Child Lying

Listen to your teenager.

Teenage girls like to talk a lot. A lot of it is not relevant to your life. I can tell you my girls love to share with me all the business of everyone they know or will ever know and everything that is going on in their world. 95% of it is not that pertinent to my life but what is very important to my life is them and keeping those lines of communication open. Sometimes you have to listen to a lot of stories about Kayley’s sister’s best friend’s boyfriend to hear one nugget of who your own teenage daughter is crushing on and how she is feeling and what is going on with that. You need to be there for that and they need to know you are listening so put on your best “interested” face and listen because it’s worth it when they talk to you about the important things.

Hope you’ll come back next week when I’ll share the last of my 5 tips for raising teenage girls (so far).

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disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

You’ve decided to take your family on the ultimate family vacation to Walt Disney World and your first stop with those Walt Disney World Tickets is going to be the Magic Kingdom. Of course, it is! I have been to Walt Disney World many times and I have to say when I think of the happiest place on earth, my brain immediately goes to the Magic Kingdom. It is the epitome of the spirit of Disney World.

READ ALSO: 25 Top Secret Tips to Rock Your Walt Disney World Family Vacation

If you only had Disney World Tickets for one day at Disney World with kids ( or without) hands down, your first stop to get the full Disney experience is the Magic Kingdom. Honestly, there is so much to do and see that we usually get multi-day park-hopper Disney tickets and plan multiple days just to experience all the magic that the Magic Kingdom has to offer.

If you have never been to Walt Disney World let me give you a brief rundown of the setup.  There are 4 parks that make up the magic that is Disney World; The Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and the Magic Kingdom. Each park focuses on a different side of Disney.

READ ALSO: 10 Tips for Maximizing Your Walt Disney World Vacation for Free

The Animal Kingdom is about the animals big and small, real and imagined. It is a zoological park like you’ve never experienced before. This is where you will find the wonder that is Pandora- the land of AvatarEpcot brings the world to you. Experience the ultimate celebration of food, art and entertainment from around the world. Hollywood Studios allows you to take center stage int he worlds of Disney movies, television, music and theater. This will be home to Toy Story Land opening June 30, 2018! I can’t wait!

disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

Last but not least, the park that makes me feel like an excited 4-year-old experiencing it for the first time (every single time), the Magic Kingdom. It truly is magical and is the place where you can explore lands of endless enchantment and your fantasy becomes reality. I love all the parks but the Magic Kingdom has a special place in my heart.

READ ALSO: The Happiest Place on Earth is Disney’s Magic Kingdom 

disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

5 Tips to Use Disney World Tickets to Experience Magic Kingdom like an Insider

  1. disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

 

  1. Get to the staging area for the Happily Ever After fireworks show at the Magic Kingdom at least 1.5 hours before the show begins to get a good spot. You must see this firework show to believe it. If you can, fast pass it and then you don’t have to get there so early because your spot in the staging area will be waiting for you.
  2. Ride the Astro Orbitor at night. Honestly, I have been to Walt Disney World at least 20 times before I realized that      Astro Orbitor was even a ride. I thought it was décor. Then I rode it at night, with my daughter, and I can honestly say, it was magical and I will never forget the experience. We had a 360-degree view that can’t be seen from anywhere else in the park. Also, for a good time, ride Splash Mountian at night.
  3. Be sure to ride the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. I recommend getting fast-passes but if you can’t, get there early, so the times are shorter. In fact, I recommend taking advantage of early magic hours to beat the crowds or booking breakfast at the Magic Kingdom before the park opens so that you can get a ride without having to wait in line for a couple hours.
  4. If you are looking for good places to eat, and there are a lot, for a quick bite when we’re in a hurry, we love Casey’s Corner Hot Dog Joint. For a sit-down lunch that has great food at a great price and the gray stuff too, we love Be Our Guest Restaurant. And if you are there and you want to eat a large dinner that is sure to satisfy any craving, Liberty Tree Tavern is perfection. Your belly and your heart will be full when you leave.
  5.  Take a Walt Disney World Tour to really feel like a VIP insider. The Keys to the Kingdom Tour at the Magic Kingdom is affordable and gives you a glimpse of the tunnels and workspaces under the park that only Cast Members get to see. A VIP behind the scenes tour allows you to experience the parks in an exclusive way so you can see how the magic is made. You’ll feel like a celebrity.

disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

If you want to go beyond the magic of your Walt Disney World tickets and be 100% immersed in Disney World magic in the most luxurious way, I recommend checking out the Disney Dream cruise.

disney magic kingdom, disney tickets, Disney World, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Disney world tickets

What is your tip to use your Walt Disney World tickets to experience the Magic Kingdom like an insider?

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