The winner of the Free 3 month Jumpstart membership is Beth @ The Willis Family! Congratulations Beth. I hope your daughters will love their membership as much as my girls love theirs! Happy Mothering!
Have you read the Alabaster cow? If not you are really missing out. Ericka at the Alabaster Cow is an amazingly, witty honest writer who will emphatically make you laugh, cry and shake your head in agreement. Now get over there and visit her while you can, she is on the precipice of writing greatness. Keep a look out, soon there will be upcoming novels!
Baby Poop, JTT, and a Monkey
I spent all day today covered in poop.
That’s the typical story isn’t it? The no shower, stink to high heaven, realize you stepped in Chihuahua shit an hour too late scenario that seems to stick to our motherly asses like chewed gum on a subway seat.
Or is it just me?
I only want one child. Does the fact that I didn’t realize I had my daughter’s feces smeared on my shirt and my shorts until three in the afternoon somehow justify this? Certainly. Is there more to the story? You bet your backside there is.
This life isn’t the one I had carved out for myself when I was younger. I had spent countless minutes whittling away at my potential future until it took the shape and form of the following:
·Publish my first novel by sixteen (I was of course willing to publish sooner but I reasoned I’d be able to handle the pressure at a more mature age. By which I mean sixteen).
·Gain the attraction of both Prince William and Jonathan Taylor Thomas which shouldn’t be too hard considering I was pretty sure I’d turn into a sixteen-year-old babe. This must have been the major clue that I was destined for a life of absolute beauty:
·Make a major decision and decide if I’d rather spend my life with JTT or Prince William. This one is obviously a head scratcher, folks.
·Publish consecutive novels and travel across the world for book signings and lectures.
·Buy a monkey.
As time went on I eventually nixed the monkey plan (I decided with all that money and fame that TWO monkeys would suit me that much better) and added the part about me obtaining my MFA, going on and securing my PhD under my belt and of course teach and write and maybe break into acting. It’s the natural progression of things, no?
But instead of lounging in the back of my limo, popping a bottle of bubbly with JTT (I’m Catholic so even though my forbidden love affair with the prince would be tres romantic, I’m afraid it would have been too much work and I’m too damn lazy and famous and rich for that), I spent the day covered in baby poop.
I love my daughter. There are tightly wound fibers in my heart that would deaden and drift away if I didn’t have that little lady in my life. But I only want that little lady and no other munchkins. Maybe it’s because my blood still contains my writerly ambitions. Maybe it’s because I have yet another novel manuscript bouncing around in my head. All I know is that I’m going to be an author one of these days. Not just for me, but for her.
People say I’m only dreaming. That one day I’ll get over my “one and done” philosophy and the whole writer schtick and that’ll I’ll want my own little Duggar clan. But that’s the thing: if I’m dreaming then this time the dream will stick.
Or else I’ll buy a monkey.
What a great point Ericka makes with this piece! We all need to hold on to our dreams so that we can be better parents to our children. We are the example that they base their lives on and if we lead lackluster lives covered in shit while watching life pass us by, what kind of an example will we be? Never let go of your dreams! You may have to change them up a little, postpone them for a little while, or even take an entirely different route to get to them ( the scenic route) but don’t let go of your dreams. I firmly believe that where there is a will, there is always a way. Even if you have to write that first novel during stolen moments in the middle of the night or while sitting there covered in a baby’s bodily fluid, don’t give up. The only way we certainly don’t achieve our goals is by not trying or giving up.
Thank you for the reminder
href=”https://alabastercow.com/”>ERICKA! We all had our dreams, and then we had our babies, Now, lets have our cake and eat it too!
href=”https://alabastercow.com/”>ERICKA! We all had our dreams, and then we had our babies, Now, lets have our cake and eat it too!
Now, Please go visit ERICKA at the ALABASTER COW! You will thank me later! And follow this talented, humorous writer who shares her life and perspective with us in a very entertaining fashion.
I had the pleasure of guest posting at the ALABASTER COW today so please go there and check out my post for today!Happy Mothering!
I’ve found that as a Mother, the moments that I learn the most valuable lessons are when I am not thinking at all. So sad but so true. For example, amidst all the craziness that this morning was..the girls were having a slap fight, Gabs decided to tell me : “You hate me! ME no love you!” for the infraction of not letting her wear long sleeves outside in the 90 degree weather ( I can see her point..I’m just a mean bitch), and Bella went completely deaf and ignored absolutely every single thing I asked her to do or told her not to do this morning ( again, must be me. How dare I think my girls should be held responsible for their actions!)! Stupid, naive, me…I thought it was going to be a good day, I woke up to sunshine, hot coffee, and Paramore and then hell broke lose!
But, somewhere along the way, something clicked. Oh yes, I remember. I was checking my FB account and a friend of mine had posted her son’s senior montage. I watched it, for no other reason than curiosity. I don’t really know her son. As I was watching it, I started tearing up (just like I did at the end of Toy Story 3).
Suddenly, like a ton of bricks it hit me…these tantrums and days that seem to be endless..are fleeting and passing me by at lightening speed. Before I know it, I will be watching Bella’s senior montage and sending her off into the world to be her own person; left to her own devices and there will be no more daily tantrums, slap fights, screaming matches but there will also be no more random I love yous, neck ringing hugs, co sleeping, spontaneous dance parties and silly song concerts! On a day soon after that, it will be packing Gabs up for college and sending her off.
When we are waiting to meet our children, 10 months feels like forever. When they are toddlers and having tantrums, and it seems like the days will never end of changing shitty diapers, or we’ll never get to be alone again; these days we wish away. But I am here to tell you, if you change your thinking and realize that those precious little hands that hold yours will soon be to large to want to do so, that the child who won’t leave your side will soon rather not be seen in public with you because you are an embarrassment, and that the little girl who thinks that you are the world and annoys you to no end messing with your shoes, clothes and make up will soon want nothing to do with you.
If we realize from the moment they are born, we are losing them and that with every milestone and tantrum they are one step closer to heading out the door for college, then maybe we can slow down, gain perspective and enjoy the madness; embrace the chaos, and love our children for the who they are today. I know its hard to realize this in the midst of the chaos, but take a moment and try to remember to cherish even the worst days because they are flying by and soon there will be no more chaos to cherish!
Hug them, kiss them, let them play in the puddles, act silly with them, let them cook with you, don’t waste their childhood wishing it away.Sometimes you’ve got to break some rules to make some memories. It’s not about how much money you spend, how clean your house is, or what you cook for dinner. What they’ll remember is how much you loved them and how much time you spent with them….make it count! Happy Mothering!
Tonight, when the big guy had to leave us bound back for his hole (his work apartment) Bella and Gabs followed him out to his car and jumped inside to “inspect” it. I was on the stoop, as always, watching on. I refuse to walk out to the car to say goodbye, it just makes it harder.
Bella, walks back and says,” I just needed to smell the car!”
Me:”Why?”
Bella: “To get me through..”
Me: “What do you mean?”( I seriously wasn’t sure where she was going with this)
Bella: “To get me through without crying!”
And with that, I took a deep breath and so did the big guy, and we both held back our own tears at our little girl’s stiff upper lip mentality and little breaking heart on the inside. What an awful lesson for someone who is barely 5 years old to have to learn, little lone know and deal with. This whole economy and living apart during the week situation is for the birds. But on a positive note, the big guy has an interview for a permanent job. It will eventually require a move if he gets the job but at least it will allow us all be together again like a family and we will finally be able to say goodbye to all of these goodbyes. For now, we pray and hope for the best.
Jumpstart Free 3 month Membership Giveaway
Only 2 more days left to sign up for the Jumpstart Giveaway! There are low entries, so high chances to win! Its a great program for children 3-10! Go here to register to win! Good luck! Contest ends 7/21/10 at 9 pm est!
For all who read my review of The Emperor’s New clothes, I have great news for anyone who is interested in seeing the show themselves. The Chicago Shakespeare Theater is offering my readers $5 off any admission ticket for any show, just use the promo code “MOM” when purchasing online or at the box office.
Fine Print: Subject to Availability. Cannot be used in combination with any other offer or on previously purchased tickets.
Snikkidy Baked Fries Review
Last week, I received a bag of Snikiddy’s All Natural Baked Cheddar Cheese Fries to review.
We received them on the day we returned home from a road trip, the girls were hungry and it was perfect timing. I opened the bag and split it 3 ways between us. I thought they were awesome. They sort of reminded me of Cheetos without the guilt. Snikiddy’s baked fries are all-natural, gluten and wheat free with no preservatives, no corn syrup, no trans-fats, no hydrogenated oils, and have 50% less fat than fried snacks like potato or vegetable chips. The girls agrees because the fries were gone in about 60 seconds flat. I always welcome any new healthy snack ideas that I can pass along to my readers. I know how hard it is to find healthy snacks for our kids that taste good. There is only so many Cheerios, Goldfish and Puffs that our children are willing to eat. Variety is the spice of life. Also, the Baked fries come in 6 different flavors; Southwest Cheddar, Bold Buffalo, Cheddar Cheese, Classic Ketchup, Parmesan Garlic, and Original.
Snikiddy is running a few promotions right now – for the next week, if you buy a Snikiddy sharing pack on Alice.com you will get $1 off, and also if you visit the Sweepstakes tab at Facebook.com/Snikiddy you can enter the weekly drawing to win a Snikiddy gift pack or the grand prize, a new Jamis kids’ bike.
Disclosure: I was provided with a sample of Snikiddy’s Cheddar Cheese Fries by Smile.ly in order to try the product and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were NOT influenced by Smile.ly or Snikiddy..
What’s your real name?
Debi
Have you ever fabricated a story or anything on your blog?
No, the stories are real, the feelings are real, my chaos is real. The whole purpose of my blog is so that I can be real and other women will know that they are not the only ones who are not perfect:) Embrace your insanity!
When in the car do you listen to the radio/CDs/iPod/etc?
Usually the radio if I am in the car by myself. I turn it all the way up and sing at the top of my lungs, its the only time I can listen to current music that is actually NEW! Otherwise, I am restricted to CDs, or whatever I have on the Ipod but most likely I’m jamming to nursery rhymes, Dora, the Wiggles, yo Gabba Gabba, Laurie Berkner and Dan Zanes!
Describe the ‘sexiest’ item of clothing that you own
hmmmm…I have lots of sexxxy clothing unfortunately none of it fits right now! My favorite sexy piece of clothing is …
But if the big guy cooperates, soon this will be the sexiest piece of clothing that I will own…
Would you be willing to breastfeed your friend’s three year old child?
No way! Breastfeeding after the first 6 months to a year ( at the max) is a big NO WAY for me.Unless there were extraneous circumstances like..it was the only way the kid could survive and even then..it would still be difficult for me!
1. If you had to choose a country to live in besides USA (or the country you live in), which would it be?
I would have to say Spain, Italy, or Greece. I need sun, great food, and sexxxy men!
2. Which would be worse, wearing flip flops in the snow or wearing gloves in the summer?
Worse would be wearing gloves in the summer. I can’t stand to be uncomfortably hot , extra clothing is not an option in the heat.
3. Fried or Bake and why?
Bake, I can’t stand the taste and feel of grease in my fingers, on my lips, in my mouth or in my stomach!Ewww!
4. If you were an entertainment reporter, which celeb would you love to interview and why?
Alexander Skarsgard, really just because he is hotter than any other man on the planet, also maybe Angelina Jolie because I think she would be interesting to have a sit down with.
5. What was your favorite book as a preteen/teenager?
The Catcher in the Rye, I was quiet and I thought Holden was awesome. I read mostly adult books that were passed down from my aunt who was a few years older. I remember reading the Exorcist and scaring the shit out of myself!
6. List your top 3 guilty pleasure television shows.
The Real Housewives of NY & New Jersey, Jersylicious, and Jersey Couture ( that should all count as one as they are all from Jersey), Vampire Diaries, & True Blood!
7. What bumper sticker slogan best describes you/your attitude/your life?
8. If you were to join a circus – what performer would you be?
I would be the ring leader, because I like making a spectacle of myself and being in charge of everything!
I was watching the Today show yesterday morning, and I saw a segment titled I love my children but I hate me life! Obviously, I was intrigued because, really, who hasn’t thought that? In all honesty, I think that about once a week. But when I think it, its usually because my world is spiraling out of control due to overwhelming circumstances; toddler meltdowns, a messy house, a sassy mouthed preschooler, ME biting off more than I can chew (usually more times than not, its ME) ..and it all happening simultaneously. Motherhood is hard! In the end, its about me and balancing this life I’ve chosen and all of the responsibility that comes with it. In reality, I never actually hate my life..what I hate is the feeling that I am failing at it!
I’m listening to this segment, which by the way was only a snippet of the actually article they were referencing, and I am thinking they are making it sound like these women hate their lives..literally hate their lives because its not what it was cracked up to be. This segment alluded to the fact that this is the norm. I know loads of women and I have never met a woman who has insinuated or said outright “Damn, I wish I could get a refund because Motherhood is really lacking and in no way as fulfilling as I thought it would be!”
Of course, there was nothing that could prepare us for what parenthood actually is…a wild and crazy ride wrought full of hills and valleys,laughter and tears; sometimes within the same day, the same hour or even the same moment! We get pregnant with the intention of creating a baby who is part of our loved one and our self, the baby is a symbol of the depth and breadth of the scope of our love for our spouse/partner/etc. Obviously, being what it symbolizes, we want to believe that something so profound would be a magical experience. But like all things we fantasize about, reality is a little more gritty, dirty, work, and real!
There is a definitely an illusion that is perpetrated about parenthood, especially Motherhood. Come on,how else could we be convinced to go through labor and delivery? It is also not something you can truly understand without experiencing it.
Having my children has been the single most important events in my life, aside from meeting my husband…and you see the three things go hand in hand.The moment I married my husband, I became a wife and the moment when I gave birth to my girls, I was born again, as a Mother. Now, I am privy to a few more of the great mysteries of life. For instance, I know that my heart is capable of growing with the birth of each successive baby, I know that that gigantic heart lives and roams free outside of my body and my biggest job in the world is to protect that heart from getting hurt, and I know that Motherhood is the hardest job that you will ever love!
Of course its not all chocolate and roses, its real. It’s work, but its rewarding maybe not every minute of every day but it is creating something in the world, It’s about perpetuating the species and leaving a legacy. Our children are a version of ourselves and with each passing generation we have left behind a piece of ourselves to live on forever. I know there has been many times when I have felt as if I am being cheated or punished because I can not do the things I did before I had my children. We are human and by nature selfish and in want of instant gratification. Once we have our children, society dictates that we are not allowed those luxuries any longer and that leaves us feeling wanting. This leads to us feeling unsatisfied with our quality of life and that manifests into self doubt. Most days, I feel like I am the only mother having a hard time figuring this all out and why don’t I think every single moment is glorious? What is wrong with me?
But once I realized that this is me evolving into a different version of myself, not worse, but different in my perspective and my scope of experience; then and only then was I able to embrace Motherhood for what it really is… a lot of hard work, laced with moments of profound bliss. I think if it were blissful always, the important moments wouldn’t be as important. The craziness is to keep the balance of things.
When I say I hate my life, I hate that I can’t handle the change. But I take a deep breath, as all parents do, I continue on and before I know it I have arrived at the next moment of bliss and amazement. Just think about it, is there anything that you have ever done in your entire life that felt as amazing as the moment that you first held your newborn baby?
Today, my Mother in law and I took the girls to the splash pad. The day was gorgeous, 90 degree weather, the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze blowing. It was the perfect type of day to take the girls to a wonderful wholesome fun family activity; the local parks department splash pad. My girls are water babies and in the heat, the splash pad is the safest way for preschoolers to beat the heat…or so I thought.
We arrive and the girls are overcome with excitement, dressed in the new bikinis that their Grandma ChaCha had gotten them for this visit. Bella was over the moon about the cheetah print bikini with the hot pink piping on the edges and Gabi was sporting a red, white and blue striped bikini as beautifully as only a 3 year old American girl next door could. They were absolutely adorable.
It was seriously about 100 degrees out, so the splash pad was packed with children running through the glistening cool water.At first the girls were filled with trepidation, it was a little overwhelming with all of the bigger kids running about but soon they became acclimated and were having the time of their life.
Grandma ChaCha and I sat on the bench ,looking on at the girls, mentally recording every grin and smile. Then I started snapping pictures because the girls were just too irresistible not to. It was another one of those days that you just knew memories were happening. Then it all changed.
The splash pad is in the middle of a public park. We had noticed early on that there was a man training a Border Collie. I am always uber aware of our surroundings. I am a people watcher by nature.We thought it was ridiculous but hey , it was his dog and whatever…. we had human babies to watch. Then the man walked his dog over to the splash pad. Not necessarily a great thing to do but whatever, as long as he kept the dog close to him and kept it away from the children. Of course, every single child ( with the exception of mine) ran over to pet the obviously dehydrated Border Collie. My children asked but, first I don’t let my kids pet strange dogs and second, quite frankly, something about this man gave me the heebie jeebies…before he even opened his mouth to talk. He kept skulking around, watching the kids run through the fountains as they sporadically came up to him and asked to pet the dog. It felt like he was one of those guys who uses their dogs to pick up girls but these “girls” were actually “girls” ages 2- 13. I kept my girls close without alarming them…or him. But for some reason, he kept gravitating toward where we were. He kept circling where we were sitting, and then he came in for conversation. The girls were oblivious but he kept smiling at them and trying to engage my Mother in law and myself. At first, I was pleasant. After all, I wasn’t raised in a cave but then things got weird. He smiled at my 3 year old, practically salivating and licking his lips ( like a man who is speaking to Pamela Anderson while she’s wearing her bikini) and says, “My , you sure are a cute little thing!” And then he proceeded to keep trying to chat up me and my Mother in law.Now, it wasn’t exactly what he said but how he said it and the way he was looking at my girls that sent off my Mommy intuition/alarm. I don’t leave anything to chance when it comes to my daughters , I’d much rather insult an adult with my over protectiveness than let my child get hurt because I was too trusting and I think most parents understand that view point. Our children are the priority,all else is less important…period! Then I noticed him sizing up my 5 year old, as he was talking.I felt my skin crawl. At this point, I was despondent towards him and pretty much ignoring his very existence.My main focus was trying to figure out how the hell to get out of this situation short of saying,”Can you please get your creepy mind the fuck off my children you sick bastard!!” So, I tell my girls…”5 minutes, we’ve got to go meet Grandpa!” My Mother in law, looked like she was on high alert as well, so something was definitely not right with this man. He continued trying to engage us, then it went completely creepy. He proceeds to talk at us and tell us that he was in the service but came out and immediately had himself fixed ( why would you tell a complete stranger this? I think what he meant to say was after he was caught for being a molester he was chemically castrated!) because he didn’t want children ( then why are you hanging around the splash pad full of children, Chester?) and he continues to say that it is so easy to have kids, “You blink and you have like four kids!” Something in his tone was as if he were implying that children were disposable. I know you may be thinking to yourself, this woman is completely overreacting. But if you were there, you know that feeling you get when something is most definitely not right with someone? That was the feeling that I had. My stomach was in knots; this man had me about to vomit he made me so nervous being around my children. I suddenly felt creeped out and insulted simultaneously ( it was a train wreck of creepy activity) It felt like that any minute he was capable of pulling out a knife and grabbing my girls and running off…in broad day light…he was that CREEPY!! I grabbed my girls with nothing more than a ,” Let’s go.” I covered them up and we left. Normally, I would have changed them in the car but this freak started following behind us. I was prepared for battle. I was pissed, freaked out, and scared all at the same time. Endorphins was oozing from my pours.My fight or flight response was in overdrive.I have never come in contact with someone whom, I felt, actually were a threat to my children. But this man made me feel afraid for them. It was reminiscent of that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw massacre when the creepy guy gets in the van and then cuts himself and they are stuck in the van with him. You know you don’t want him there, but you are afraid of what might happen if you spook him, Needless to say, we will NEVER go to that splash pad again..EVER.
The moral of the story; it is our moral obligation that if something feels wrong for our children,as their protectors, we must do whatever it takes to keep them safe, no matter how crazy it seems.My only regret is that I didn’t call the cops on this guy for lurking around the splash pad accosting mothers and leering at children and that I didn’t grab my girls and run the minute he looked in their general direction. By the time we left, only about 10 minutes had passed from start to finish but I felt dirty and violated.What do you think? Did I over react? Or does Mommy intuition trump all rhyme or reason?
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I picked Miley Cyrus’ “I can’t be tamed!” Stop laughing! I realize I am a grown woman who is choosing to use a Miley Cyrus song to represent her life but what can I say..it fits! I have been many things at many different times in my life to many different people but one thing has always been constant, I have always been me and I CAN NOT BE TAMED! Just ask the big guy. He has been trying for 13 years, as did my Daddy before that. It is simply impossible. I am woman , hear me roar!Happy Mothering!
