Author

Deborah Cruz

FAWK YOU FRIDAY: July 30,2010

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/30

written by Deborah Cruz

Well, Friday is almost over so I’ve got to get my Fawk Yous in. I’ve got a few, don’t we all.

Fawk you first and foremost to, you guessed it, the bald spot that has decided to descend upon my crown and really mess up my self confidence and my psyche this week. To you, I say FAWK you!

BWS tips button

To the stupid ass, muscle shirt wearing ,drama queen who hosts Ghosts Adventures. Nothing else is on, this douche bag ruins my Friday night quiet time every week..FAWK YOU!!!

To the movie Remember Me, thanks for taking a perfectly hot Patterson and putting him in the most ridiculously melancholy, unpredictable ending movie ..ever!FAWK YOU…remember that!

To the nightmare I had with the machete weilding, homicidal maniac, who I walked in on mid way through him carving my baby up like a swine at the butcher shop, as he smiled at me and my baby cryed with her last breaths. You were so real that I woke up terrifed and lost sleep ( Hello! I already don’t sleep. I don’t need this shit!) When I woke up, my breathing was so shallow and labored that I literally felt like I was going to die.Fawk you nightmare! In the end, the macete weilding maniac got what he deserved and so will you nightmare! FAWK YOU, RIGHT IN THE FACE! Nobody messes with my babies!

2010/07/30 5 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday: Newborns in Ziplocs edition

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/30

written by Deborah Cruz

This throat punch Thursday is astounding to me. When I watched the video and read the article, I literally was speechless, can honestly say that I wanted to throw up a little bit and I certainly lost a good sense of humanity in people. Or rather I should say, I lost my faith in humanity. Once again, disappointed by the lack of scruples and regard for human life. Are you familiar with this story? Here is the video clip. Judge for yourself.

https://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=world/2010/07/29/black.france.babies.cnn

Seems in Douai , France the men are a little more oblivious than they are in the United States. Apparently, this woman, Dominique Cottrez, a nurse, has been married to Pierre-Marie Cottrez for approximately 20 + years . They have 2 grown daughters but she has a little secret. She has given birth 10 times, yet there are only 2 daughters. The math doesn’t add up. And her husband has absolutely no knowledge of her ever being pregnant other than the first 2 times. How oblivious must a man be to not notice a pregnant wife. He said she was overweight so it was easy to conceal. I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that one. Maybe once he could use that excuse or if they had never had a pregnancy together, but 2 daughters and 8 pregnancies later. If he didn’t see, it was because he turned a blind eye. No man is that stupid. The secret would have never come to light had the couple not sold their house. Can you imagine the poor new owners, minding their own business randomly finding baby carcasses in Ziploc baggies while tending the garden. Well, at least that explains all the phantom newborn crying they kept hearing. Seriously, this is not funny, this is sad and disgusting. They are trying to say the woman suffered from a first pregnancy that was “traumatic”. I understand PPD is horrible but to repeat the offense 8 times after giving birth to a second child..what was the difference between #2 and #3?
The babies were born between 1989 and 2006, but their exact birth dates aren’t known.She knew she was pregnant each time, she admitted to it and has said her husband had no knowledge of the pregnancies, births, or the deaths. After the new owners of the house found the babies in the garden, per policy, the police questioned the previous owners and Dominique readily admitted to her gruesome part in the worst recorded case of infanticide in France in recent history. Furthermore, she led them to the remaining 6 bodies buried in the garage.
This weeks throat punch with a Ziploc baggie on top goes to this out of her mind nurse who killed 8 of her 10 children. I seriously think that this woman is insane and most likely dying from the intense guilt, which is probably why she confessed so readily. She was already a mother to 2 children when she started doing this craziness.I can’t imagine what her children are feeling. They must be terrified. The throat punch also goes to her husband, who I believe, has no excuse for letting this happen and in my eyes is a liar. He had to know. There is no way he did not know. Maybe a hard punch to the throat will get his eyes and common sense back into working order. I don’t know what else to say but that I hope karma comes around and gives them exactly what they deserve.

2010/07/30 8 comments

Blogging

It’s Friday; Dance like no one is watching, sing like the whole world is deaf, and smile until your face hurts!

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/30

written by Deborah Cruz

Happy Friday! Where the heck did this week go? Between the bald spot, the big guy coming home,a giant Mommy Meltdown and general perpetual cleaning ; this week has flown by. I’m ecstatic its Friday.I’m headed out to coffee with one of the besties sans children ( did I mention the Big guys home!WOOT WOOT!). Plus , I got a whole 8 hours of sleep ( unheard of) that’s why my Throat Punch didn’t get posted last night but never fear, I will post it as soon as I return from my girl time. Which reminds me, I’d better get dressed:) One more thing, I am really trying to reach 1000 followers by my birthday in September so help a girl out. I promise to follow back, it may take me until Sunday to visit and follow back but I will.Do me a favor, leave your site address in your comment.Also, I finally got a button, so please feel free to snag one of those to show your love for The TRUTH about Motherhood! Happy Mothering!

friday-follow

2010/07/30 11 comments

Marriage and Relationships

Happily ever after

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/29

written by Deborah Cruz

When I was a little girl, way back before I knew anything, I always imagined life and love to be just like every fairy tale that Disney spoon fed me as a child. It went a little something like this; I’d meet a boy, obviously he would be gorgeous, sensitive and funny. His most redeeming quality, he would recognize my absolute amazingness the moment we met. The relationship would be easy and comfortable but full of passion, almost immediately. He’d propose in some uber romantic way, taking my breath away, naturally. We’d have our huge white wedding, and we’d go off into the sunset and live happily ever after.Simple, right?
Problem is that Disney forgot to provide some key elements of romance and romantic relationships. For instance, jerky boys, unrequited love, how sex influences relationships , crushs, heartache, heartbreak, other women, being at “different” places at different times, falling out of love, realizing that Mr. Right is usually not what you were expecting and that what you expect changes over time, the fact that life happens when you are planning to plan and never when you actaully planned it, love is a series of compromises and there are no winners or losers. Love is just two people trying to coexist in a rhythm, that children change absolutely everything about you, your relationship, and how you view the world. Marriage is hard, lots of work and an evolving situation..its like a ride on a roller coaster but it is totally worth it, with the right person.The last thing Disney forgot to tell us little girls, maybe the most important part of the story, is that when we ride off into the sunset it is usually the beginning of something and not the end.
I guess I’ve been pretty blessed.I have the great guy but he’s not without his faults. After all, I never saw Prince Charming farting and leaving dirty socks scattered throughout the living room floor. Our relationship was comfortable..after about the 2nd year of marriage. We had the great big white wedding, but it put us into some debt and I was pretty snookered by the time I arrived at the reception. Lesson to my girls: No sleep+ no food+ nerves + alcohol = easily intoxicated bride. We did ride off into the sunset and 11 years, 21 jobs (between the 2 of us) 10 cities, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 7 vehicles, 2 houses, and 2 beautiful children later, we still work daily at our marriage. You really do get out what you put in, so I am all in. Luckily, at the point he and I met, we had learned from previous relationships what to and not to do. We realize what we have is rare and we work to nourish and grow it. In the end, I did get the fairy tale but only because I endured all the reality that comes with a relationship in the real world. My Prince Charming was everything that I never knew I always wanted. That’s the fairy tale that I want my girls to know. If they go out there thinking there is no work and everything just comes to you ( in love or life in general) they will miss out on many great possibilities.

2010/07/29 4 comments

Mommy Truisms

Mommy Truisms; Because knowing is half the battle

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/29

written by Deborah Cruz

With each passing day of Motherhood, I learn more truths about life, motherhood, children, and surprisingly, myself. I’m sure most of you can relate and agree. Some of you may not, but wait, it may be too early in your Mothering to have seen all this come to fruition..but it will. Happy Mothering!

There is no true handbook for labor because no one would believe it.
There is no effectively honest handbook about being a Mommy because it is truly an indescribable experience.
Sometimes, Mommies just need a hug.
Washing your pits, your face, and your feet~ does not a shower make!Make the time Mommies, no one wants to be the stinky mom. And no kid wants to have the stinky mom!
Coffee and wine are Mommy versions of reds and Valium.
Once you have children, your once beloved pet ( your “first” child) becomes secondary to you and a jungle gym for the kids. No matter how much you loved the dog, no mater how much you spent on doggie clothes, or that Coach doggie collar ( don’t judge me), no matter if that dog even had a middle name and a place at the kitchen table…that dog is now..secondary!
Cereal for dinner is perfectly acceptable in a crunch; no Mommy guilt needed. Hell, in a real pinch…string cheese, apple juice, and a piece of peanut butter toast can pass.(that’s what I refer to as the MacGyver dinner) If they are still hungry, give them some cereal:)
Kid’s won’t starve themselves; when they are hungry they will eat! Forcing them to eat when they are not hungry is only going to cause chaos, tantrums and unnecessary gray hairs for you.
Comparing your children to other children is ridiculous and degrading; don’t do it!
A dusty house is infinitely more acceptable than a dirty kid. And there is no excuse for a kid running around in a shitty diaper for prolonged periods of time unless a) your sniffer’s broke b)you are lying dead on the living room floor!
It’s perfectly acceptable to fight for yourself as much and as hard as you fight for your children. You are worth it!
In Motherhood, most days of life are like a box of chocolates and you never know what great surprise you’re going to get but some days..it’s like a burning bag of shit; and all you can do is take a deep breath, hold your nose and put out the fire.

2010/07/29 24 comments

Personal

Take me out to the ball game

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/29

written by Deborah Cruz

The Family

Apparently, popsicles on a 95 degree day are a bad idea. Who knew?

Look at my 5 year old,Bella. She looks so serious about her hot dog!

She was chosen to participate in her first ever game of musical chairs…on the ball field. Things may have went differently had she any idea what was going on!

Girls gone wild on the baseball field!

Sisters, could you tell? Apparently, they are my Irish twins. Last week, I posted pics of them both, and everyone kept referring to my beautiful “daughter” . There were 2 of them:) Here’s proof.

Daddy and his littlest girl, Gabs, watching the fireworks at the ball field. A perfect ending to a perfect summer day..aside from all the flesh melting heat.

2010/07/29 2 comments

Mom Life

And ..Im back

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/28

written by Deborah Cruz

I apologize for yesterday. It was just one of those days, where everything ganged up and the whole hair spot was just too much for my fragile psyche. At that point , I think a pimple may have sent me over the edge. I also want to thank all of you for your support and love. You Ladies..and gentlemen are by far some of the awesomest people I know. And I know you are all just dying to know what is going on with my hair situation, so here goes.
Obviously, after last nights whimpering episode, I woke up this morning and decided to put as much effort into taking care of myself as I do my girls. I got on the phone with that same ” I’m a Mommy and my kid is sick you better fit them in’ attitude and my doctor (she is also AWESOME) fit me in..immediately. After a morning filled with hypochondriac what ifs, I was finally bound for a professionals opinion. I just knew it was going to be something awful..ring worm of the head, permanent hair loss, a fatal case of undiagnosed lupus. Oh yeah, my brain went there! I was a hot mess. I felt my eyes stinging and felt as if it had to be some thing awful..beyond just my vanity at a bald spot. Though let’s be real..that’s pretty big. It’s not like a sixth toe or something, I can’t keep a bald spot on my part line hidden.
I head in, my doctor knows my husband is out of town and I am stressed, and that I am wound a little too tight these days. She handles me with kid gloves, and I do love her for that. So, she does the basics: temperature..normal, blood pressure…slightly elevated (not surprised after all I was about to stroke out from bracing myself to get the official fatal diagnosis!), balding, scaly spot in my head..check. She decided that it didn’t look fungal….I’m thinking “THANK GOD FOR THAT!”Ewww! Uh oh. That is immediately followed by, “Oh shit! It really might be permanent baldness or LUPUS!!” She informs me, “I’m going to have to scrape some cells to check under the scope”. “Ok, let’s get this done so I can deal with it and fix it!” (I have no time for this..really, I don’t!) So, she scrapes the frigging balding spot, “This may hurt a little”. Me (in my head conversation) “Really, is it really going to hurt? You are scraping my damn skin off my head. I’m pretty sure that is not helping the aesthetics of that spot at all!” She scrapes, I wince, I bleed a little, and she leaves the room.
All the while, my girl are in the room coloring (I told you I am alone with my girls..there’s no family in town). Bella draws a picture of the doctor and shows me while the doctor was out of the room. Me: “Aww, that’s cute but she needs some hair.” Bella: “Oh yeah, I forgot!” Gabi,”Yeah Bella, she no bald like Mommy!” Oh, I can always count on my girls to make me laugh in a crisis.
Doctor returns; diagnosis….Seborrheic dermatitis. Know what that means? Cradle cap! According to Mayo Clinic, Seborrheic dermatitis appears to run in families. Stress (yes!), fatigue (OH YEAH!), weather extremes (heat wave), oily skin (yes), infrequent shampoos or skin cleaning (I clean everyday but hey, you can’t win the entire cause lottery), use of lotions that contain alcohol (I wonder if my cheap wine that I’ve been drinking counts?), skin disorders (such as acne), or obesity (just one more reason to lose some weight!!!!) may increase the risk. Good news, not fatal. Treatment include some baby shampoo and some topical medicine to clear up the skin irritation. Therapeutic hair transplant with the use of hair transplant treatment technology is also an option for the hair to grow back. Thank God! The funniest part, the whole time I was there my doctor kept saying (as she is running her fingers through my hair looking for other spots), “You sure do have a lot of hair!” I told you I had a lions mane..with one spot of mange. Thanks for holding my hand through my mini Mommy breakdown! But, barring any unfortunate turn (damn hypochondria)..I’ back to my same old snarky self; giving you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but..the truth!

2010/07/28 10 comments

Parenting

The perfect ending to a perfectly awful day!

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/28

written by Deborah Cruz

I was all prepared to write something really snarky and funny but alas, it is not to be! After my nightly shower, once the girls were finally asleep, I dried my hair and went in search of those damn couple of rogue gray hairs. Yes, I pick them. I know, not smart. Anyways, I noticed the other day ( by touch ) that there was a little rough patch on my scalp. I figured probably a little sun burn, maybe ..who knows what. Who has time to look? I take a shower, I usually let my hair air dry, I go to sleep. I’m lucky I get to be clean.I have mirrors, I just never have the time to fully utilize them. But tonight, on my gray hair recon mission, I found the patch. I analyzed it. It’s red and flaky, a little smaller than the size of a dime and, to my shock and dismay, my effin hair is missing from the spot. So, I am sitting here whimpering. Yes, actually whimpering. All kinds of horrible scenarios have shot through my head. I know you are thinking to yourself, what kind of moron doesn’t notice her hair has fallen out…enough to have a small patch of missing hair? Me, the kind of busy, stressed out moron who has a lion’s mane for hair and almost always wears it pulled back in a ponytail. That’s who! I spend every waking moment obsessing over every inch of my girls bodies, analyzing it for anything that may need treatment. I am ready for all scenarios..in their lives. But in my own life, I don’t even have time to notice something as obvious as my effing hair falling out? Tomorrow, I call my doctor. Hey doctor, if you are reading this…what the EFF is going on ? I need something to get rid of the red spot, regrow my hair, and stop me from crying..stat!! This day has kicked my ass, and totally added insult to injury~ Is it stress? Am I going bald? Do I have some kind of scalp condition? Some kind of disease? WHAT THE F*CK!! All I know is I am going to bed, to pray to God that this is not serious and reversible and so I can sleep and not think about this shitty situation. Sweet dreams!

2010/07/28 10 comments

Personal

Truthful Tuesday: EFF YOU Tuesday, I heart you!

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/27

written by Deborah Cruz

I am not a passive person, so when life is holding my happiness hostage and hurling lemons at my head …I rant , rave and buck crazy. Today is one of those days and I really need to work through this frustration so I am going to list all of my grievances here, to get them off my shoulders ( so my head doesn’t explode)! If you don’t go for that sort of thing..stop now. Look away! I don’t want a post full of rage and anger so I am going to substitute the word “heart” for “hate” all throughout this post. You know in the spirit of turning my God damn (sorry but its just that frigging serious) frown upside down and all that shit! So be prepared, and feel free to expunge yourself here after I have finished my tirade! Happy Mothering my fellow POW’s!

I heart my husband being gone and me being alone!
I heart that my kids are acting like complete uncontrollable maniacs!
I heart that I am losing my cool and can’t handle it all.
I heart stupid ass people.
I heart waiting on others,for example, the people who interviewed my husband about a new job. I can not stand placing my forever in someone else’s power (its the impatient control freak in me).
I heart feeling fat.
I heart exercise, even more!
I heart never getting to see my friends.
I heart that we moved and moved back with not much say in it.
I heart that I got to see how my life could be only to have it taken away!
I heart that that bothers me so much.
I heart feeling envious of anyone.
I heart that bad things happen to good people; for example, good people dying young or little babies getting cancer.
I heart complainers; so I am hearting myself right now, a little bit!
I heart people who don’t know me at all pushing their unsolicited opinions on how I am suppose to feel (I’m referring to people in real life who don’t know me, have never read me, and don’t care about who I am or how I feel not y’all. You people get me!).Thanks..I really need other people to tell me what I am supposed to feel when they have never taken 1 step in my shoes.
I heart perpetual cleaning! Seriously, is it impossible for a house with children in it to stay the least bit lean?
I heart all the dog shit in my backyard…Dog, can you please stop shitting so much? Don’t I have enough asses to wipe inside the house?
I heart being broke! It’s fabulous and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s so awesome having to decide what to do with that extra $10 in your account..I’m voting for cheap wine!
I heart finally knowing what I want out of life and having to depend on others to achieve it.
I heart feeling old on days like this.
I heart feeling like such a shitty Mom, and not having enough hours in the day to do better!
Mostly, I heart that I just broke down in front of all of you. Now that I’ve shattered your image of calm, cool, collected me, please feel welcome to share what you heart today!

2010/07/27 11 comments

Personal

Wal Mart convention on the Midway

by Deborah Cruz 2010/07/27

written by Deborah Cruz

Ahh, remember the joy and excitement of going to the fair when you were a child? I do. It was something I looked forward to every summer. I have fond memories of going to the fair and couldn’t wait to take my girls. There is just something thrilling about risking your life on rickety rides, the smell of a 3000 calorie funnel cake, waiting for your lemon shakeup as some prepubescent acne faced girl shakes her milkshakes more than your shakeup and doing it all in the presence of pedophiles disguised as carneys (cue the Joe Dirt clip) . I mean, doesn’t that just scream good wholesome American fun? So, of course, I had a ~~memory lapse a lapse in judgment~~ a small stroke and took my girls. Dear God, why did I do that? Oh yeah, apparently everything is remembered through ~~rose colored glasses~~ beer goggles because my memory was a damn liar! That little bastard put me and my girls in danger.
When I was a kid, I was always so excited to go. As an adult, not a little kid spending the day in the safety of their parents making memories or as a teenager sneaking off to meet some boy, a real honest to goodness grown up…a Mommy no less; I’m here to tell you that the fair is no place for a family after dark. Weird people come out of the woodwork like roaches scattering and strange behaviors ensue. I mean there are some things that just can’t be unseen! I swear I do not remember the fair being such a freak show and complete assault on my senses; a plethora of ugly people , the stench of garbage and port-o-pottys enveloped me. There was no escaping it.No offense to anyone who may intentionally associate with ,be related to, or themselves be an avid member of that freak show.
It was like a Wal mart convention on the Midway. Here , I am walking around with my two girls in tow..thank God for my in laws who were with us serving as a little bit of a shield to all of the craziness.

Only the crème de la crème hit the fair after dark. You know the ones; crimped hair, tube tops, camel toes and ass shorts, mullet wearing, one toothed wonders who make up most of the population of the countrified beer garden? Yeah, those are the ones we were hanging out with that night. Luckily, my daughter’s were unfazed and will spend the next 20 years recollecting “the fair” with a great fondness saturated with laughter and recollections of Grandma ChaCha buying them popcorn and Grandpa Denny riding the carousel with them. But one day, when they take their own children, the magic of the fair will be exposed to them and the spell will be broken.God willing. I hope they don’t devolve into the avid nightly fair goers of whom I speak. There are no fireworks or free concert, in the world, worth exposing your children to the FAIR at night!

Moral of the story; there is a reason the fair only comes to town once a year!

2010/07/27 8 comments

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