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Deborah Cruz

Why Every Adult Woman Should have a Best Friend, best friend, friends, girlfriends, niki, best friends, mom life

There are some things that just cannot be argued, like the beauty of a sunset, the love for your child and the importance of a best friend, even when you are all grown up. There some things in life that are absolute and though we may think that we become self-sufficient as adults because we are taking care of children, at our core, we still need those besties we had when we were children; that one person that you could be completely yourself with, tell all your secrets too and she’d love you and support you still, no matter what, even if you are dead wrong and full-on crazy. When we grow up and get married, our husbands fill that role to an extent but there is just something about a girlfriend that cannot be replaced.

This is why every adult woman should have a best friend.

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cory monteith, lea michelle, trayvon martin, Glee, tragedy

COry Monteith. Glee, Trayvon MArtin,Lea Michelle, tragedyYesterday, Cory Monteith was unexpectedly found dead in a hotel in Vancouver at age 31. Last night, I went to bed appalled that George Zimmerman was found not guilty for killing Trayvon Martin. How can he get away with no sort of punishment for taking a human life? This morning my heart is breaking for all the parents involved especially the Monteiths and the Martins. What the hell is this world coming to? As a parent, all of this freaks me out.

Vancouver police confirmed Saturday night that the body of Glee star Cory Monteith was found at the Pacific Rim Hotel. Mr. Monteith checked in on July 6 and was supposed to check out yesterday, hotel workers checked the room when he never came down to check out. The hotel called the ambulance and paramedics pronounced him dead on the scene. He was alone and surveillance footage shows that he was alone from the time he arrived in that night.

I am shocked. I am a long time follower of Glee. My daughters listen to their music and have seen some of the episodes. Finn Hudson, Cory Monteith’s character, has always been one of our favorite characters on the show. He was a heartthrob jock with a heart of gold and a voice like butter. He always had sad eyes and a dedicated love to his on screen romance and off screen love, Lea Michelle, whom I can only imagine is beside herself with grief. Poor woman, I cannot even imagine how distraught she must be.

Cory MOnteith, Lea MIchelle, Trayvon Martin, GLee, George ZImmerman

There has been no cause for death given but Mr. Monteith has been in and out of rehab a couple times and I don’t like to make assumptions but I’ve always felt he was a bit of a tortured soul. We will definitely miss his smile and sweet disposition on Glee. Sending prayers for his family and loved ones in this time of need. It is so tragic that someone so young with everything to live for can just as suddenly be taken away. In times like these, life doesn’t make sense.

When I went to bed last night, the last thing I heard on the news was that George Zimmerman was found not guilty for killing Trayvon Martin. The internet was in an uproar calling the entire legal system afoul and corrupt. The term racism was being thrown around like the air we breathe and everything suddenly became black and white.

Personally, no matter what the circumstances, one thing remains George Zimmerman killed some parents’ child. He took away the reason Trayvon Martin’s parents take breath into their body; he took away their reason for living, he killed their son. It is my belief that this part of the case is fundamentally true without dispute, in the very least, he should have been given involuntary manslaughter and some sort of sentence to give Trayvon Martin’s parents some sort of , be it small, satisfaction. As a mother, I could not carry on in the world knowing that someone who caused the death of my baby was still walking free as my child turned to dust in the ground.

If the last two days have taught me anything that is that life is not fair and bad things happen to good people. People die before all of their living is done, or in some cases, even begun. Do not start today with hatred in your heart, cast your eyes upward to the sky and pray; pray for the tortured soul of Cory Monteith that is gone much too soon from this world. Pray for his parents, his friends and the woman who loved him and has to go on living without him.

Pray for the parents of Trayvon Martin that they might have some kind of peace in their heart knowing their son will never feel the fear he felt on that last night he was on this earth. Pray that we all spend more time enjoying the people that we love because they can be gone forever in the blink of an eye. Today, be a little more tolerant of your children, forget for a moment that 1 million obligations you have and enjoy the moments with your family; don’t rush through them or get annoyed knowing that you have work to do. Today, hug your loved ones and know that life is fleeting so make every moment count. Be present.

corymonteith3

It’s Sunday and so I am just going to say it, God bless you all and please pray for the families of Cory Monteith and Trayvon Martin that they might get through this tragic and horrible time in their lives.

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Robyn Lawley, plus size, bathing suits, fashion, Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday,Robyn Lawley, plus sizeRobyn Lawley launched a plus sized clothing line that starts at size 8.8!!!!! As if girls today don’t have enough of a challenging existence just trying to survive the teen years with their self-esteem and body image in tact, now we are labeling average sized women as plus sized.What message is that sending? And honestly, do we grown women need any more media outlets to tell us we could lose a few pounds? Haven’t we all given Spanx enough of our money? Spanx wins every time. What.the.FUCK?

Gorgeous Australian model Robyn Lawley debuted her plus-size swimwear collection online this week, in hopes that it will eventually become the “go-to brand for swimwear for all women.” The collection includes swimsuits from size eight to 18 and ranges in price from $140 to $200. This idea I love; cute bathing suits for every woman. It is much like the Jennifer Lopez line at Kohl’s (a personal favorite of mine due to the fact that it fits my curves and doesn’t make me look like I am banished to a life of burkas for having an ass), the Kardashian Line at Sears who takes into consideration all body types and Torrid a store that makes fashionable clothing for women sizes 14-24 ( that is more in the realm of plus-sized.) These places and lines are awesome because they give women with a little weight on them cute clothes to wear so they can look like everyone else because believe me just because we are overweight doesn’t mean we want to wear ugly clothes or Mrs. Roper moomoos. We’re thick not blind for God’s sake.

Robyn Lawley, plus size, bathing suits, body image, fashion

Robyn says she swims a lot and found that in order to find swimsuits that fit her, she fell into a category that wasn’t very fashionable. Wait a minute, what? I’ve seen her photos, she is only a size 12 but the woman is 6 foot 2 inches tall. If she were any smaller than a size 12, she’d blow away. I realize a size 12 is considered obese for certain parts of the United States, like Los Angeles and New York but she definitely looks like the average fit woman to me. She doesn’t look overweight and there is no way she is shopping in the plus sized stores. Big and Tall, maybe. There is plenty of fashionable clothing in her size, unless she only shops sample sales. Then yeah, nothing probably fits because all of those pieces are specifically designed for anorexic 12-year-old boys who eat tissue paper and chain smoke. The only thing they get close to nutrition is if they accidentally drink a diet coke with lime. (Gotta keep the scurvy at bay.)

Robyn Lawley, plus size, bathing suits

Lawley, who was the first plus-sized model to star in a Ralph Lauren campaign and appear in the pages of Vogue Australia, hopes her line will change the public’s attitude about plus-sized fashion. Despite the fact that the average American woman wears a size 14 or larger, Lawley said companies still cater to the smaller segment of the population. The whole idea that Lawley is even considered plus sized in the first place is preposterous. She is a beautiful, average body type woman. The fact that any asshole wanted to pat themselves on the back for letting a “plus sized model” fatty, fatty two-by-four that she is in his campaign in the first place needs to be bitch slapped prior to their throat punch.

So this week, my throat punch is to Robyn Lawley for creating this beautiful line of swimwear only to ruin it by caving to the man and labeling a size 8 as plus sized and to our society who thinks it’s acceptable to label clothing in a size 8 as plus sized and worse still to make women feel like their worth is defined by the size of their pants, how much they eat and what size everyone else deems is acceptable. We live in a society where people feel like they can freely comment on other people’s size, shape and how they look. When did it become okay to insult people just because you don’t like the way they look? This is bullshit. Stop letting the media and fashion houses fuck our daughters up! Give them the chance to love themselves before society teaches them to hate their body.

Robyn Lawley, plus size, bathing suits

Instead of all of us trying to starve ourselves to fit the fashion industry and Hollywood’s idea of beautiful, why not make them make clothes that fit all of us without shaming us? After all, they work for us. We buy the clothes that pay their bills and make them famous. It is not the other way around. If we refuse to accept their standards and bend to their will, if they want to stay in business they will need to meet our needs. Who the fuck made them the boss of our world?

Rage against this mind-set for your daughters and your granddaughters. If today’s fashion designers can’t be inclusive, then maybe it’s time for a change in designers not in us.

What do you think of a Robyn Lawley being considered plus size and worse having a line that labels size 8 plus sized?

Robyn Lawley, plus size, bathing suits, body image, fashion

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I just finished week five of Nutrisystem. I am looking  different and feeling different than I did just a few short weeks ago. Nutrisystem is changing my life. It is helping me learn to live in the skin I am in. My journey is as important as the destination.

Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog

Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

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paper lanterns, loss, miscarriage

loss, moving on, friends, life, letting goSitting there, immersed in the moment of a baseball game, the ordinary; the laughter of my girls, the deep, baritone voice of my father-in-law excitedly recounting the last play, my husband sitting quietly by my side and then I glanced upwards towards the sky. I don’t know why, I looked to the outfield and then it happened and everything changed.

 

There on the horizon, just beyond the energy of the ballpark, where people were cheering and happily enjoying a popular summer pastime, in the darkness beyond the cathedral; slowly and one by one, Chinese Paper lanterns lifted higher and higher into the July night sky. For a brief moment, my heart leapt into my throat. I was still and quiet. I did not move. Then I glanced at my husband and gestured in the direction of the soaring, fiery lanterns. He knew.

 

The sight of so many of those Chinese lanterns floating up to the heavens was glorious and magical, especially in such quantity. I am assuming they were being set free in celebration of some newly married couple’s wedding; their first act of creating their happily ever after. I couldn’t move or breathe. I was still.

 

Those airy, delicate Chinese Paper lanterns will always remind me of something bittersweet. That is why I found myself sitting there at the ballpark, surrounded by strangers and the smell of popcorn, unsuspectingly overcome with emotion.

 

Last year, when I miscarried our third child, it emotionally crippled me for most of the following twelve months. I mourned almost constantly. But one day last fall, after my heart had been completely shattered, I received a message on my phone from a friend I’d gotten to know online who had virtually held my hand and helped me through on of the hardest things I have this far had the misfortune of experiencing. I looked at my message and there was a photo of one single beautiful Chinese paper lantern, floating gracefully up into the sky as the sun set at that moment when day meets night. That one single Chinese paper lantern ascending into heaven meant the world to me. I get choked up just thinking about it.

 

You see, my friend, Jessica Watson, is an angel in my eyes. She made a gesture on my behalf and she helped me to heal. Though, I am not sure I could ever repay that act of kindness. I will always remember the evening, a mom who understood the weight of loss, did the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. She heard the unspoken words that I could not voice, she felt the pain that comes with losing someone before you truly get to know them, she saw the hole in my existence that this blow had left and without asking, she gave me the gift of gracefully letting go. She may never know what she did for me that evening but I will never forget her or her beautiful and kind heart.

 

And so as I sat there in the ballpark on Friday night, stunned and transported back to that overwhelming loss, I was reminded that our sweet baby is in heaven and that there are angels here among us. As I watched the paper lanterns ascend, my heart followed into the moonlit sky and then I smiled and heard the excited laughter of my daughters’ beside me, of life going on.

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Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNation

Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNationNutrisystem is keeping me focused. It’s been one of those kinds of weeks; you know the ones where you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off? The ones that start off with you trying to beat the clock on some deadlines and ends with you almost falling out of your attic. I’m telling you, some higher power yanked my by the back of my t-shirt and saved my life. Staying on course was difficult. It’s hard to plan your meals and grocery shop when you are working your tail off just trying to keep up. I know some of you know the feeling.

Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNation

Thankfully, half the work is done for me with Nutrisystem. I have my entrees; I only need to add the sides, fruits and veggies, and extra protein. But even that is near impossible without planning and help. I made sure that I got in my daily 60-minute walk/jogs at least 4 times last week. I shoot for 10,000 steps because then my FitBit tells me that I’m a good girl. More importantly, my pants tell me that I am staying on point.

Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNation

Monday marked the end of my 4th week on the Nutrisytem program and, even with all the chaos of life; I lost another 1.8 pounds for a grand total of 11 pounds and 22 inches lost. I’ve lost 3 inches off of my arms, 4 inches off of my chest, 6 inches off of my waist, 5 inches off of my hips and 4 inches off of my thighs. I don’t know about you, but that thrills me.  I am a long way from the my goal weight of 137 pounds but I am now under the 100 pound goal mark to lose and I am also into the 230’s, which is a HUGE accomplishment of its own. I am proud of myself.

Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNation

I am totally beginning to feel more comfortable with who I am; the skin I am in. Just 11 pounds and my clothes are fitting differently. I am fitting into my life differently. The craziest part of it is that I have begun to enjoy exercising. It’s not something I dread or find myself trying to avoid. I look forward to it. Yes, you heard me correctly.

Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, #NSNation

I’m not doing anything special or expensive. I am just getting up off my butt and moving; walking and kinda jogging. I am no runner and I still weigh over 200 pounds so I have to ease into it. I stretch out before my morning walk. I put on my headphones and hit the beautiful 5 miles of trails that wind throughout my neighborhood. Sometimes, I take my girls but when my husband is home, I go alone and that, my friends, is a gift all its own. I have one whole hour to just be in quiet solitude, well, except for the runners mix I listen to on Pandora every morning and then I return home winded, energized and ready to start my day off with a chocolate/banana protein shake and a chocolate chip scone. It’s that easy and I love the way I feel when I know I’m actively trying to get myself healthy.

weight loss, Nutrisystem, diet,#NSNation, www.motherhoodthetruth.com

And Just so you ladies know that I don’t always stay in my sweats these days…

Nutrisystem, Weight loss, diet, #NSNation

What’s your motivation to get healthy? Stay tuned for a update and vlog next week!

Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog

Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

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Delivery Man, VInce Vaughn, Trailer Debut, DisneyVince Vaughn has a new film, Delivery Man, coming out on November 22, 2013 but today, I, along with 532 of my fellow bloggers, will be exclusively debuting the trailer not yet released. I’ve seen it and before I give you the synopsis, I need to tell you that I think this movie tells a wonderful story of the human situation. I’ve never seen Vince Vaughn play a more likable or endearing character. The film is funny and heartwarming. I can’t wait to see this movie on the big screen.

In the film, Delivery Man, Vince Vaughn plays David Wozniak, an affable underachiever with a knack for making bad decisions in his life. He is unreliable to those who depend on him; his father, his friends and his girlfriend. He’s been stuck in a rut but believes that everyone has a purpose in life; he just hasn’t found his yet.

In 1994, David Wozniak anonymously donated to a fertility clinic but to his shock, due to a mix up at the clinic, he is the biological father to 533 children. Now, he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them are suing to meet their biological father.

delivery man, vince vaughn, 533, disney

David is given an envelope containing the files and information on the 142 children who want to know who he is. Curiosity gets the best of him and soon, against advice from his friend/attorney, he opens the envelope and begins to secretly insert himself into his children’s lives, acting as their “guardian angel”.

Delivery Man, Disney, Vince Vaughn, parenthood, 533, Chris Pratt

Suddenly, the scariest thing to happen to David Wozniak has become, what he believes may very well be, the most beautiful thing to ever happen to him. The children he fathered need someone to look out for them and in the blink of an eye, a selfish, purposeless man, David, has found the greatest purpose of his life, fatherhood. For the first time in his life, he is doing the right thing and life is great.

The movie reminds us, what many parents already know, you are never quite ready for what life delivers but sometimes the best day of your life is embracing the gifts you are given, no matter how unexpected or unplanned they may have been.

Delivery Man, Vince Vaughn, Fatherhood, 533

In the end, David Wozniak has everything, he never knew that he always wanted; a strange, oversized, amazing family and life. Finally, his life has a greater purpose than himself.

Family comes in all shapes and sizes and even though what we have may not be what we expected our life to look like, it may just be exactly what we needed.

Finally, without further ado, here is the debut of the official Delivery Man trailer:

DELIVERY MAN stars Vince Vaughn, Cobie Smulders and Chris Pratt and will be in theaters November 22. This movie is for adults and not small children. It is rated PG-13 for mature themes.

 

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I love this video, it shows just how effectively the New Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer absorbs instantly into your skin, so we women can put our clothes right on after moisturizing. I am not sure that I could put my clothes on quite as gracefully or in as cool a way as Emma, the dancer in the video, but it sure is fun to watch.

Of course, Emma is a professional dancer from London who was trained as an acrobat as a child and then switched to modern dance. She should be in Cirque du Soleil with those skills. I’m a mommy whose groove thang doesn’t work like it used to.

Can you believe the production team started by having Emma try 25 speed dressing tricks before they narrowed it down? Did you see her pull on tights while doing a back somersault across the bed? Holy moly, I would have fallen off the bed and broke my newly moisturized derriere. That was the hardest speed trick for Emma to pull off too, so I don’t feel so bad. Emma said the back walkover into a pair of heels was the easiest trick for her. Show off! I could never have looked so graceful doing those speed tricks; I would have definitely fallen and broken something. Emma was able to do every spot in a single take. Take a look at the behind the scenes video.

 

What’s not to love about the New Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer? It’s freaky fast to apply and more importantly quick to absorb into your skin. It has a convenient 360° spray that dispenses lotion quickly and evenly and you can even hold the can upside down and it still works. It absorbs in 10 seconds or less. What else can you do in 10 seconds? It sure is helpful to get out the door in the morning.  My time is precious, and I am sure yours is too. I don’t have time to wait for my lotion to dry in the morning.

Here are some other tips I have for getting out the door fast in the morning:

  1. Wake up 20 minutes before the children. This is key to getting yourself dressed, ready and one cup of coffee in your system before the kids ever open their eyes. Not being whipped into a frenzy while trying to get little people dressed and out the door is a blessing and will make your life happier.
  2. Plan your breakfast the night before. Nothing wastes time like staring into the abyss of the pantry or refrigerator. Hey, were you raised in a barn? Sorry, I was channeling my mom for a moment.
  3. Make a packed lunch schedule and make lunches the night before and refrigerate over nights o they are ready to grab and go in the morning.
  4. Homework! Empty the kids’ backpacks the night before. Take all papers out of the folders, make sure homework is done and sign everything that needs to be signed the night before not in the morning.
  5. Give baths and showers to kids at night. Trying to get a half-asleep child to shower without consequence is not a good idea. There will be tears, probably yours.
  6. Lay you and your children’s outfits out the night before. Preparation is key to a smooth morning, believe me.
  7. If you follow these steps, you will be out the door in no time with your little ones.

Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer is a quick, continuous 360° spray lotion that moisturizes deeply and absorbs in seconds, so you can put your clothes right on and get on with your day! Available in three formulas – Total Moisture®, Aloe Fresh, and Cocoa Radiant™ – this fast to apply, quick to absorb line of lotions leaves skin instantly soft – not sticky or greasy. Find out more at www.maxthemorning.com!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Vaseline. The opinions and text are all mine.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Vaseline.  The opinions and text are all mine.

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skinny, vanity, weight loss,

Throat Punch Thursday,fat chicks, mean peopleI saw the following on a message board. Am I surprised? No, because people are kind of assholes and people really act like assholes when they can hide behind a computer screen.

“WHY do SOME very obese women wear clothes 4 sizes too small?”

Apparently, we’ve never heard of the phrase, live and let live. Look, I am not so tragically obese that I roam the aisles of Wal-Mart with my belly hanging out below the bottom of my shirt as I scour the joint for Pork Rinds and Mountain Dew but I do take offense to this statement.

https://www.dreamstime.com/-image11545923

I have been every single size between a 4/5 ( in the 90’s, which I imagine with vanity sizing being what it is would be a size 0 today) and I have been as large as a size 20 and I have never walked into anywhere with my belly hanging below my shirt or my clothes being 4 sizes too small.

But before you condemn someone and chastise them for choosing to be a “fat chick” and not wearing clothes that fit, maybe you should consider a few things; maybe she just had a baby and does not yet fit back into her prematernity clothes, perhaps she is destitute and can not afford bigger clothes, maybe she has something wrong with her physically that prevents her from fitting into said clothes, maybe she has a mental deficit that prevents her from knowing any better, or perhaps she is just so fucking comfortable with her body she doesn’t give a shit ( which we should all be so lucky). It appears to me that these Fat chicks wearing clothes that are too small are not the problem but maybe your very narrow minded view of the world and obvious sizist attitude are the problem.

The comments were equally as bad calling heavy women everything from classless to tasteless. Maybe they are doing the best with what they’ve got. Live a day in their skin and then see how easy it is to just dress “appropriately” for your size. Let’s be honest, there are a lot of smaller women who wear clothes that are too small for them as well with body parts hanging out all over the place and you don’t see anyone complaining about that. I think they are both equally offensive.

fat chicks

What do you think about people hiding behind their keyboards to be mean to other people?

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mommy blogger, mommy guilt, blogger, parenting, work-at-home

mommy blogger, mommy guilt,working mom, parentingThe first thing I read this morning was a piece by my good friend, Jessica Gottlieb, Which came first the Anxiety Disorder or the Blog? Her post really resonated with me in a lot of ways but the most important takeaway that I had was the realization that I need to live more and blog less. This is nothing new. I have known this for some time now. Hell, I know that I need to back the fuck away from the computer and get out of my head and into my life. I need to unplug and it has never been as evident as it is this summer.

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