Author

Deborah Cruz

Nutrisystem Week 11 Update

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/19

I just finished week 11 of Nutrisystem and I lost another 1 pound. This means I have officially lost 3 of the 4.6 pounds that I gained in that one weekend at BlogHer. It’s amazing how easy it is to gain the weight and how near impossible it is to lose it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am over 40? I was warned that women over a “certain” age have a more difficult time losing weight than their younger counterparts. Have you found this to be true?

The Nutrisystem food makes it easier than it would be trying to figure this all out on my own but it is still hard losing weight the right way. What I mean is that when you eat right, move and are accountable to yourself it forces you to take stock of who you are and why you are doing this; how you got where you are and why you want to change. It’s been a real eye opener for me.

I used to want to lose weight to look good in my clothes. That was it. There was a time when I thought the motivation behind wanting to lose weight had something to do with appearance and then I realized it had more to do with control and other times I was using my weight as a disguise, to hide from others and hide from myself. The weight was like a giant warm, safe snuggy that I wrapped myself in for protection and then one day, it just became cumbersome and I wanted rid of it. I want rid of it.

How did you decide that you wanted to lose weight? Why? What motivates you to get healthy?

Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog

Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

2013/08/19 1 comment

baby shoes, never worn, loss, grief, miscarriage

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/19

written by Deborah Cruz

Anyone who has ever read this blog before knows that I don’t write flash fiction. In fact, I write the complete opposite of “flash fiction” I write drawn out nonfiction. I’m a story teller who tells you my stories in their entirety, even a moment can last 350 words.But when I saw the Hemingway piece, “For sale: Baby shoes, never worn” again with new eyes, new experiences, they were no longer 6 words. They were like a brick thrown at my heart and the weight of those words brought me to my knees.

I’ve read these words before but I never really knew what they meant, not truly. I never knew the hole in your heart that could be left by losing someone you never got to meet; never got to hold, kiss and cuddle. Never got to hear them call out to you, “Mommy” or wrap their tiny arms around your neck. But, I think you miss them even more because you are missing the promise of something that never came to fruition. You have to cling for dear life to that one single memory, the loss.

Thankfully, I haven’t lost a lot of people who were close to me. I lost my grandparents that I never really knew and I’ve lost two uncles who I was very close to and that hurt. It hurt bad. I felt those losses and I still miss their presence in my life. I wish my daughters could have ran to them when they came to visit and known the giving hearts and comforting smiles of these men. I’d like to say it taught me to appreciate those who are alive even more. It did, for a little while, and then as some sort of a survival mechanism, I had to put that loss on a shelf, so I could continue on. I think that is how we are made; this is how we survive the pain of loss.

Not until I lost a pregnancy, my third child, did I feel the true weight of loss. It nearly killed me. There is nothing like it. The only thing that I can imagine that would come close would be losing a spouse or a parent. I know that sometime in my life I will lose my parents and that scares me. It terrifies me but not for the reasons you might suspect. Not because I won’t know how to live in the world without them but because I didn’t have enough time to know them; to really know them. The hole left by words unspoken and memories not made is an unfillable one. I know that now.

I don’t know why these words have been haunting me over the past couple days. I think it was triggered by watching my friend go through the painful loss of her dear mother and watching another friend give birth and struggle with complications and a very sick baby after losing her twin pregnancy last year. My heart is breaking for these two women. I have all of these feelings swirling around in my mind, in my heart and I I can feel my own scabs being ripped off. I can imagine how their hearts are aching with these fresh wounds. I wish I could do more than pray for these women but they need their space to process; to contain the hole that feels like it will swallow you up. It’s survival.

The pain of losing someone you have so much love for leaves a giant hole in your soul and with them they take a part of you. You don’t feel whole. You feel fractured and broken and it hurts it ways that you didn’t even know it could. It’s an indescribable, all-consuming pain.

Please pray for these two women, Alexandra Rosas and Diana Stone, that their hearts might know peace and comfort again someday soon.

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn

2013/08/19 1 comment

Health Parenting

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate, that is the Question

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/19

written by Deborah Cruz

Did you know that August is National Immunization Awareness Month? Neither did I! It is and whether you believe in getting your children vaccinated or not, there are some things you may need to be aware of. While there are some childhood illnesses that are seldom found in the western world these days, because of vaccinations, there are others that are still very rampant in the world and they do not discriminate by race, color, religion or socioeconomic standing. These illnesses will attack where they can and either you are protected, or you are not. The choice is yours.

Do you get the flu shot? It’s that time of year again, back-to-school otherwise known as Cootiepalooza. Why Cootiepalooza you ask? Well, let’s just say that there is more than just death and taxes that we can count on happening in this life; we can count on back-to-school bringing with it lice, pink eye and the flu. If you have kids preschool through elementary school aged you are acutely aware of what I am talking about. My girls are in first and third grade and since they’ve been in preschool there are two things that I can count on every August; they will be going back to school and we will be getting sick.

Before I had kids, I never got a flu shot. I thought, why would I? The chances of me getting the flu were slim to none though I should have known better since I worked with children. In fact, I had never had the real deal flu until after I had children. While I was pregnant, my Obstetrician strongly suggested that I get the flu shot; “strongly suggested” in the way that a mother strongly suggests that you clean your room if you ever want to see the light of day again. I did it after she explained to me that the flu is more likely to cause severe illness in a pregnant woman than one who is not, that it is safe and that it would protect my baby for the first 6 months of life and, more importantly, babies under the age of 6 months are too young to get the flu vaccine but are also among the most vulnerable to its ill effects. It would have been irresponsible for me to not get the flu vaccination. That was the first time I ever got the flu shot.

Every year after that, my daughters have gotten the flu vaccination with the exception of last year, it completely slipped our minds because we were moving and wellness visits were in May instead of August or September as they normally are. Guess what happened? We all caught the flu. The real deal flu right smack dab in the middle of Nutcracker season. If you have daughters who are ballet dancers, you know what bad timing this was. Aside from the fact that we were bed ridden for 7 days, congested, feverish with cold chills and achy from hair to toenails, we were miserable on every level and our lives came to a screeching halt at the worst possible time of the year. I have never seen my daughters so sick and I never want to again. It was scary. Thankfully, they don’t suffer from any long-term health conditions like asthma or it could have been much worse. They are healthy children and it still knocked them on their butts.

We will all be getting our regularly scheduled flu shots this year, as soon as they are available. Make no mistake the flu is dangerous. Each year about 20,000 children younger than 5 years old are hospitalized from flu complications like pneumonia. You can die from the flu. There is no coming back from death. I can’t justify not taking the chance of stopping something that is so potentially dangerous from happening to my children, especially after seeing firsthand how it wiped them out last winter.

Will you be getting yourself and your children the flu shot this year?

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post to raise awareness about National Immunization Awareness month but all opinions are my own.

2013/08/19 2 comments

miscarriage, loss, pregnancy, I forgot, fertility, motherlode, babble.com, babble, amy klein

Health Throat Punch Thursday

An Open Letter to Babble.com in Regard to Fertility Issues

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/16

written by Deborah Cruz

Dear Babble,

What were you thinking running the article about Motherlode columnist, Amy Klein’s fertility issues, titled Should We Be Sympathetic to a 42-Year-Old’s Fertility Struggles? May I ask, were all the editors on vacation? Was there a hiatus on good judgment and common decency? Seriously, wtf were you thinking? Normally, I am a fan of Babble. Many of my friends write there and generally it’s very PG and non-threatening, a great resource for parents, but this particular post was deplorable. I know from her bio that the author is a comedienne but this shit was not funny.at.all!

And in answer to your “question” …Yeah, Hell Yeah! You should feel sympathetic to anyone’s fertility issues because it’s a problem for the person who has it whether she is 25 or 45. Just like you should feel sympathy and compassion for a rape victim, no matter what she was wearing, how drunk she was or who she was dry humping the night she was raped. The same reason you feel compassion for patients with cancer, whether they smoked every day of their life, drank themselves into oblivion or played with radiation!

You are sympathetic because you are human and you have compassion to people’s struggles. You are sympathetic because you have not lived in their shoes and don’t know their story. You are sympathetic because you shouldn’t kick a person when they are down. You are sympathetic because you don’t want to be the mean kid on the playground; the bullying asshole that everyone else hates. But, instead, you chose to let one of your writers pen a condescending post on her thoughts on fertility issues, from her fertile high horse. Nice move; not very Disney of you, at all.

“These are the days of ugly emotions. Infertility hijacks your schedule, damages your relationship with your spouse and unleashes in you terrible jealousy of other women, women who conceive easily, without thought, without drugs, without dozens of days lost to medical intervention. Women whose biggest problems are swollen feet.”
Those seem like fighting words coming from a 42-year-old woman trying to get pregnant for the first time, I thought. Surely this woman must understand that at her age fertility problems are to be expected when trying to conceive for the first time. How could she be so angry? Didn’t she see this coming?
Moreover, like so many people do when confronted with this sort of thing, I thought, ”Are we really supposed to feel sorry for a 42-year-old woman who is doing IVF when she could just adopt?”

My head nearly exploded when I read the above part of the article. Let’s be honest, I know all about link bait and controversy. In fact, I am no stranger to controversy and I know I piss people off with my strong opinions on everything from gun control to breastfeeding but I would never make fun of a person who is physically unable to do something like breastfeeding, I don’t poke fun at the mentally ill and I certainly would never interview a mother of a child who found her gun and shot himself and ridicule her because I have one thing that this article lacks; human decency.

The article began dripping of judgment and condescension, on a parenting website. This should be a safe place for moms, not a place to be shamed and ridiculed. Then the author said she was going to give the woman the benefit of an interview, for context and understanding, only the entire interview read like this; ( paraphrased; these are not direct quotes ) To be fair: I do not know this writer or her story or her issues, I am only responding to how the piece was written. She may be perfectly lovely and may have just been having an off day but this is how I felt the piece came off and many of my FB followers agree.

Amy Klein (Interviewee) : Explanation, explanation, and explanation

Author at Babble: (dripping with condescension) You should have tried to get pregnant earlier.

Author at Babble: Why don’t you adopt?

Author: I married young because I knew I wanted to get married and I wanted to have a family. In marrying so young, I made a choice that didn’t work out and I’m now divorced, but I have a beautiful daughter. It seems that often women are cornered in these ways: wait to find someone you feel truly compatible with and enter a marriage you feel as certain as possible will last but then deal with potential fertility issues, or marry young and take your chances when you’re still quite fertile. Not that it’s always an either/or situation, but still. Based on the way things have played out for you, what advice would you give to younger women when it comes to love/marriage/babies? I mentioned on Facebook a while back that women should take the time they need to try to find a truly healthy love relationship, but that if they don’t find a great partner by their mid-30′s, they should just have a baby alone.

Author at Babble: That’s why I had my baby when I was young and fertile. I am divorced now, but I have my kid. Maybe you should have thought about all of this 20 years ago…when you were still fertile.

Amy Klein (exhausted and demeaned): Goes Home.

Please, Please, Please editors, read posts before they go live. Babble, I expected more from you. We all do. This post has left a bad taste in my mouth for Babble and I am sure it has for other readers, as well. Try a little human kindness when addressing the issue of fertility.

Sincerely,

Truthful Mommy

2013/08/16 4 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

Wireless Baby Monitor Hacked while Pervert Shouts Sexual Obscenities at Toddler~ Throat Punch Thursday

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/15

written by Deborah Cruz

Did you know that a wireless baby monitor could be hacked? Did you use audio monitors when your children were babies? I did. In fact, I couldn’t have slept at all in the past 8 years without mine; sleeping in the same room was getting old. Now, video monitors and wireless cams are all the rage, the norm even, in baby monitoring. Technology has come so far, why wouldn’t we take advantage of the opportunity to go wireless and high-tech? Well, here is the reason and it might have you completely freaked the fuck out.

Talk about creepy and Throat Punch worthy, some freak hacked an Internet-based wireless video baby monitor of a young family with two small children in Houston. In the last two years, Marc Gilbert and his wife, Lauren, have come to depend on their Internet-based video monitors to watch over their two toddlers when they are in their bedrooms but over last weekend someone else was watching the little girls in their rooms too. This is truly the shit all parents’ nightmares are made of.

Marc Gilbert says he and his wife heard a detached voiced saying sexual things to their two-year-old daughter and it was coming from her room. What the ….????

The couple, like most, have come so dependent on the monitors that they feel like they can’t live without it but they may have changed their mind after what happened. I would imagine it would leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed; unsafe in your own home.

“It felt like somebody broke into our house,” Gilbert said.

Gilbert says he heard a voice in his daughter’s room from down the hall. As he and his wife got closer, what was being said got more explicit and more vulgar. Can you imagine hearing a man’s voice with a British accent coming from within your toddler girl’s bedroom, knowing damn well that no one should be in there and definitely not a Brit with an X-rated vocabulary shouting obscenities at your baby!

“The voice said, ‘Wake up Allyson, you little (expletive),'” Gilbert said.

And he knew it was coming from the camera. CREEPY! Worse still, when he walked in the room the camera followed him, obviously controlled by the pedophile pervert who snuck into his toddler’s bedroom via the camera and was harassing his daughter.

Gilbert immediately pulled the plug on the camera and started doing research. I personally would have ripped that sucker out of the wall and moved. Oddly enough, he did NOT call the police. He believes someone hacked his router and the camera. The assumption by Marc Gilbert is that the person could see Allyson’s name on the bedroom wall and that’s how he called her by her name. Myself, I would be paranoid that the freak knows where we live; where we go and has maybe even been in proximity of the house and the child.

The only saving grace is that Allyson never heard a thing. She was born deaf. She has cochlear implants but has them off at night and slept through the whole disgusting ordeal.

I don’t know about you but the whole idea of wireless Internet cameras has left a bad taste in my mouth after this story. We have daughters and were thinking of installing wireless cameras in the house as a security measure but hell; this makes it sound more like a liability. Instead of protecting our children from outside intruders, these wireless cameras are an open window for any pedophile with basic hacking knowledge. Secure your networks as much as you can; your children’s lives may depend on it.

So this weeks Throat Punch goes to the creepy ass Brit pedophile who was verbally abusing a deaf toddler.

Do you use a wireless video monitor? Does this make you reconsider knowing this wireless video monitor was hacked?

Now, that I have sufficiently scared you to death. Here is something to make you smile!

2013/08/15 0 comment

back-to-school, first day, third grade, letting go, growing up

Parenting

Why Third Grade Sucks & I Prefer the Weeping Mothers of K-2

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/14

written by Deborah Cruz

This year, I was prepared to not be the crying pool of snot that I once was, have been, for the past 5 years on the first day of school. Sure, I was prepared to miss my children but what I was not prepared for was to not be missed.

Every year, I get my girls up, we have a special back-to-school breakfast and then I get them dressed in preparation for our 1^st day of school annual photo shoot. They endure it. I love it and one day, they will thank me for documenting their childhood so they can share it with their own children. I am not a crazy, mamarazzi, I am performing a public service. Damn it!

Anyways, after the photo shoot we drove to school; 30 minutes early, in preparation for all the crying and don’t go’s (them not me)(well, maybe me a little bit) because, that is how it has always been since kindergarten. That’s the way it is always suppose to be. Moms leave their kids, moms cry, kids cry and then at 3 pm it’s lovapalooza. It rocks but not today. Today, maturity kicked me square in my mommy gut and told tradition to go suck an egg!

The girls were both nervous walking into school, squabbling whose class we would go to first. Obviously, I was dropping off the 3^rd grader first because 1) she’s not the one who might throw a tantrum and cry when I try to leave 2) she’s the one who will actually get demerits for being late.

So, me and my 2 girls dressed in their brand spanking new plaid uniforms and sporting the fanciest headbands they could find, because that is the only place they can show any kind of fashion sense whatsoever walk down this new and unknown corridor. Up until now she had been in the same corridor as her little sister. Bravely, we find her classroom. I can feel myself tensing up. I do this every year because like childbirth, I just don’t know how bad the letting go is going to hurt each time.

“Here, we are!” I say.

“Great….” She mumbles, her long silky blonde hair falling gracefully into her eyes, as if she is trying to hide from the rest of the class.

We introduce ourselves to the teacher, who I must say was either a bit flushed or put her blush on in the dark because it was looking a bit Mimi-esque. Never mind, I avert my eyes to stop from staring. The same can’t be said for my 6-year-old whispering beneath her breath, “Mom, what’s wrong with Bella’s teacher’s face?”

“Shhhhhh,” I hush her.

Then I notice the entire class is watching and NO.Other.Parents.Are.There!!

FUCK! I can’t be the mom who embarrasses her 3^rd grader but, FUCK! I haven’t gotten my goodbye kiss. Someone’s going to have to suck it up. So, I go in for the goodbye kiss and I say bye one last time as my 3^rd grader wills me away with her glare. Now, I’ve never had the misfortune of experiencing my child letting go of my hand and running off on the first day but now I know how that must hurt. It appears that this love that my 3^rd grader and I share, is now strictly on the down low; never again to see the light of day on school grounds. My eyes misted up and I sauntered off to the K-2 corridor that I’ve made my home for the past 3 years.

These are my people; the weeping mothers of Kindergarteners martyring themselves to release their grip on babyhood and children who appreciate a mom who covers them in kisses and hugs. I love this hallway. This is where I belong.

My sweet little first grader holds onto my hand for dear life. God, I love that kid. My ego needed that. I walk her into class. I can see the trepidation building in her eyes and I can feel it in her grip on my now turning purple hand.

“Here, we are!” I say.

“Mommy, please stay here!” she whispers.

“I’ll stay for a little while.” And I do but eventually after sweaters are hung, backpacks and gym shoes put away and I’ve settled her at her desk, given her 2000 hugs and kisses and taken as many photos, I give her one last kiss and squeeze and I tell her that I love her and to have a good day. My eyes are filling up, I can feel them burning.

“Mommy, don’t go,” she whispers.

I choke out, “I’ll be back in a little bit to pick you up. I love you!”

And she jumps up and wraps her tiny little hands around my neck and hugs me one last hug; the kind of hug that can get a mommy through 7 hours without her children. I reciprocate. We are reassuring one another as much as we are ourselves. Then she sits down and yells after me as I am walking away feeling empty.

“Don’t forget to buy me some good snacks for tomorrow!”

With that, she lets me go and my heart is good. We’ll both be okay. As I walk away down the hall, past all the weeping mothers of corridor K-2 crumpled in the floor in pools of their own tears and snot, I smile because I’ve got one more year of this corridor and all the hugs and kisses I can ever want and I can cry if I want to. I also know that next time I walk them in we’re going to this hallway first, so I can kiss and hug my girls goodbye properly without the judging eyes of the entire third grade.

Now, I wait til 3 pm for loveapalooza!

How was your first day of school? Was the letting go hard or did your child dismiss you?

2013/08/14 8 comments

Confessions

Back-to-School ~Stop that Train, I Want to Get Off

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/12

written by Deborah Cruz

It’s back-to-school already! My girls start back to school in a couple days and I am decidedly simultaneously ecstatic and sad about back-to-school. Last year, my baby entered kindergarten and while trepedatious I was completely ecstatic to have the day to myself for the first time in 7 years. Then on the first day of school, I was promptly grief stricken. Alone. Crying because I was alone. What the hell was wrong with me? My baby was gaining independence at lightening speed and her childhood was a runaway train. Stop.that.train!

I should have been dancing around the house in my undies, playing air guitar and celebrating my hard earned freedom. Instead, I sat on my couch looking out the window sobbing at my computer, counting the minutes until my babies were back in my arms; the very place from which I was pushing them out the door that morning. The duplicitous of motherhood; it’s enough to make you crazy.

This year is different. I know they are both going to school. I know they both love it and I know their teachers. There is nothing scary about this year. Only the summer went by way too fast and now, I am regretting all the lost moments that I should have spent enjoying my children instead of swatting them away and shooing them into another room so that I could complete my work. It sucked. I sucked and I have the guilt to prove it.

This summer did serve one purpose though, it has taught me to appreciate the moments and to know that next summer, work will have to wait. My girls will always come first. You know the nature of my business is to be a mommy. I write about being a mom in all of it’s many facets. So, when I am doing a shitty job of it; being a mom, not writing about being a mom, it makes me feel like a fraud because in the end, I want to be great mom not a great writer writing about being a mom. So, this summer has taught me some things. The most important being that childhood is fleeting and the older my girls get, the faster the summers go.

It’s like life is this crazy carnival ride we are on together and it just keeps speeding up. It goes by so fast some times that I feel like I just might get sick. Wasn’t it just year that my daughters were born? Wasn’t it just a few months ago that they learned to talk and walk and say “ I Love you”? Where did the time go?

My oldest is 8 and almost as tall as I am. She is becoming such a beautiful and amazing young lady; full of personality and wit. She’s thoughtful and caring and I see sincerity and loyalty in her eyes. Her thoughts and opinions are no longer something I told her, she is forming her own beliefs. I can still see the cherubesque little face I once held in my arms as she looked up at me like I was her everything but it is evolving into the woman she will someday be and it will be here before you know it.

My 6-year-old is funny, silly, beautiful and charming. Her passion and fierce convictions about life teeter on scaring me at times. She has been and will always be an ask permission later kind of child. She’s still small enough to cuddle up into my lap and she loves to cuddle with me at night. I should be forcing her to sleep in her bed alone but, my God, in no time she will not need or want me to cuddle her to sleep. So, I take it all in sucking every bit of marrow out of their childhood. I want to linger awhile and watch them sleep, listen to them speak and truly hear what they are saying.

School starts back on Wednesday and I am going to make today and tomorrow count because once these last days of summer vacation are gone, they are gone forever. Moments in life cannot be DVRed and rewound, they have to be lived while they are happening or they are lost forever. Stop. This. Train. I want to get off.

What are you going to miss the most when your children go back to school?

2013/08/12 3 comments

Catherine Schaible, Herberty Schaible,Pneumonia. faith healing, murder

Throat Punch Thursday

Faith-Healer Parents, Catherine & Herbert Schaible, face Murder Charges for Letting 2nd Child Die~ Throat Punch Thursday

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/08

written by Deborah Cruz

It’s Thursday and do I have a throat punch for you; a Philadelphia fundamentalist Christian couple, Herbert and Catherine Schaible, are being charged with third degree murder for refusing to seek medical attention for their baby who had pneumonia and died.

Catherine and Herbert Schaible are being charged in the faith-healing death of their 8-month-old son, Brandon, who died in April of pneumonia after his parents refused to take him to the doctor opting instead to pray over him. Leaving their sick child, helpless and resigned to his fate. This is unacceptable!

Maybe you think the judges are being too hard on the Schaibles. I mean, after all, they are Christian fundamentalist and they have a strong faith in God and they made a mistake. Aren’t they being punished enough by losing their baby?

The answer would be NO! In fact, it would be HELL NO!! Because, you see, this is not the first time that the Schaibles have let one of their children die before seeking medical attention. Four years ago, they let their 2 and a half year old son, Kent, die of pneumonia because they refused to take him to the doctor and decided to pray over him and leave his fate in God’s hands. He died and they were put on probation for 20 years. The judge stipulating that if any of their children were to ever become sick again, they were to seek immediate medical attention. In April, they ignored that court order and now little baby Brandon lies in a small-unmarked grave next to his brother who died four years ago. Apparently, these assholes think their children are disposable.

The Schaibles’ defense lawyer, Bobby Hoof, argued that Brandon died within 3 days of becoming ill and there was no evidence of malice, which is required for a third-degree murder charge. The judge disagreed and the murder charges still stand.

Catherine Schaible was released into the care of her parents, Herbert Schaible is still incarcerated and their remaining, living, 7 children have been taken into protective state custody.

Look, I get it. I believe in God too. I was raised believing that God can do anything; make the blind see, heal the sick, etc. I was also raised knowing that God helps those who help themselves. People, he gave us the intelligence to develop the medicine to cure the sickness, to keep our children alive. Choosing to ignore that was a willful act of malice. They had the option to treat their child or let them die. The Schaibles have let not one but two of their children die. I am not a judge, but as a parent, I think they are guilty. Guilty of being really shitty parents.

I would do anything and everything necessary to help my children get well if they were sick. Sure, I would pray because I have a faith in God and I believe he can do anything but damn, people, maybe he’s busy saving someone else. Help yourself. Help your children. These people are a menace to society and dangerous to their children. They need to be locked up so their children can survive childhood. They face the possibility of 20-40 years in prison if found guilty. I say, good; Great! Don’t let them out until their youngest is at least 18-years-old.

What do you think? Should the Schaibles be held accountable for the death of their son or are they just victims of their own naïveté? You know my answer. I want to hear yours.

What would you have done if you were Catherine and Herbert Schaible?

2013/08/08 0 comment

Parenting

Stealing Pillows

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/07

written by Deborah Cruz

Exhausted and weary, I frantically searched my bed for my pillow; the pillow that I have had since college that has been my source of comfort for all these years. Yes, I realize, I am a grown woman and I shouldn’t “need” a pillow but I did; I do. I’m an insomniac who gets little sleep and when I do, I am a creature of habit.

I got up and searched the floor surrounding the king sized bed and then my entire bedroom. Desperate for sleep, I tiptoed into my daughters’ bedroom to see if my pillow had found it’s way into a tent or play house. I searched by the light of my iPhone, trying not to impale myself on Barbie heels or stub my toe on an American Girl. Nope. It wasn’t in their tent nor in any make shift play house, not squished in a corner or thrown in a chair.

It was late and my desperation for sleep was rapidly increasing. I went back to my bed and tried to just sleep. Just lie there and drift off to sleep but my brain kept flashing “Where’s that Pillow?” It had to be here, somewhere.

Unfortunately, I am the person who jumps out of bed in the middle of the night if I am not sure that my keys are where they are supposed to be or if I’m not sure I put my credit card back in my wallet at the restaurant. I am that person. So, of course, there was absolutely no way I was going to sleep while that pillow was still out there. God knows where.

I got up and went downstairs and searched the first floor. Not in the living room, or media room. Hell, I even checked the bar room and the bathroom. Hey, with a 6 and 8-year-old, you never know where things might end up. Finally, I gave up; deflated and depressed; exhausted.

I climbed back into bed and in my spot was the tiny frame of my 6-year-old. I gently pushed her over as she clung to a pillow like a sighing little monkey in the dark. She was holding that pillow tight; like it was the last pillow on earth.

I slipped in behind her and cuddled her small body; not the squishy baby she was but not the awkward big girl she will soon become. In this moment, I was comforted holding my sweet little girl who still smells of green apples. She sunk deeper into me and somewhere between obsessing over losing my pillow and morning I drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, I awoke to my sweet little girl still lying beside me and rousing awake. What was she clinging to so strongly during the night? My pillow.

“Hey, where did you get my pillow?”

“I took it!”

“When?”

“Last night when I went to bed.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to feel like I am cuddling with you mommy!”

And then I melted because how could I argue? Why would I argue? They are only this little for a little while so, I gave it to her.

2013/08/07 0 comment

Food

Got Milk?

by Deborah Cruz 2013/08/06

written by Deborah Cruz

If you are a mom, you KNOW how much milk kids consume. My girls are little milkaholics but they come by it naturally, as I am too. We drink a lot of milk, at least 2 gallons a week between us 3 girls but I am limited on space in the refrigerator so that means when I run out I have to run to the store to buy more as space is available.

I was recently part of a virtual briefing session on shelf stable milk. Sounds like something your mom might have kept in her Y2K pantry or maybe someone from the 50’s might have kept in their bomb shelter and all of that might have been true but it is also a nutrient rich, great alternative to refrigerated milk. There is no difference in flavor. You just have to wrap your brain around a new way of storing your milk.

You might be wondering what the heck shelf stable milk is. It is exactly what it sounds like, it is milk that can be kept in your pantry and doesn’t need to take up valuable (and limited) real estate in your refrigerator. You may be using it and didn’t even realize that shelf stable was what it was. I’ve been using it since my girls started school in the form of Horizon’s Organic milk in individual packaging. My girls love the flavors they offer; Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla and plain white milk. It’s the same milk you get in your grocer’s refrigerated section; the only difference is the packaging.

Shelf stable milk has been pasteurized at a higher temperature for a shorter amount of time to preserve taste and nutrition. Refrigerated milk is heated to 165 degrees Fahrenheit for 10-20 seconds then packaged in traditional cartons. Shelf stable milk is ultra pasteurized and heated to 280 degrees Fahrenheit for only 3 seconds, cooled quickly and then immediately packaged into a sterile Tetra Pak shelf-stable cartons that keep out light, air and harmful contaminants. Shelf stable milk can last up to 6 months unopened and unrefrigerated compared to traditional refrigerated milk, which usually expires in 3 weeks. This is awesome because you can stock up when it’s on sale.

It doesn’t taste any different than traditional milk. We are huge milk aficionados and take our milk pretty seriously in my house so I would tell you if it tasted weird. I do buy jugs of organic milk that I keep on hand in the refrigerator for everyday drinking but my pantry always has shelf stable milk in it for lunches, snack times and it also comes in handy if we run out of milk in the fridge. I simply pop the individual milks in the fridge the night before and pack it in my girls’ lunch boxes the next morning. I pack them cold but they can be drank at room temperature or over milk. My girls love it and so do I. My favorite thing aside from it being convenient is knowing that I am sending them something nutritious to drink with their lunches. It’s also great when traveling. I make PB & J sandwiches and put the milk in a cooler. It’s much healthier than stopping for fast food, more cost effective and more convenient.

Back-to-school is right around the corner (one week from today for us) and I think this is a great product to keep in mind for lunches for your little ones. They are easy to find; most stores carry shelf stable milk. You’ve probably just never looked for it and sometimes it is shelved in the refrigerated section. I know for a fact that Kroger carries it Organic Valley brand and quite frequently runs the individual packs for 10 for $10, so you can mix and match flavors. I also know that Wal-Mart carries the Organic Horizons brand.

Have you ever tried shelf stable milk? Would you use it for school lunches?

Disclaimer: This blog post is part of a paid Milk Unleashed blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are all my own.

2013/08/06 1 comment

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