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mommy blogger, blogging, motherhood, blog, social media

Anatomy of a Mommy Blogger

by Deborah Cruz


Throat Punch Thursday,mommy blogger

Mommy Blogger Means Mommy who Blogs

When did Mommy Blogger become a bad word? The other day, I was accused  by one of my readers at another site I write for ( not you ladies, you rock), who apparently doesn’t know me like you all do, of sitting around in my robe all day and thinking up these “ridiculous” articles. I wish! I believe the article was one in which I compared “real” (meaning those of us who are not celebrities. Not meaning to imply that Beyoncé is not a “real” mom because obviously if she has a baby and is taking care of it, she is “real” not imaginary.) Well, apparently Beyoncé reads that website because someone certainly attacked me for that remark and the only person who I can think of that should get that defensive about Beyoncé would be Beyoncé herself or her mama.

Then it hit me, this is what people think of mommy bloggers. They think we sit around in our pajamas all day, eating bon bons and pecking away at the keyboard while we ignore our kids and live in perpetual squalor. It is no wonder, women writers are so afraid of that title. I assure you that I do not fit any of the stereotypes that people think of when they think of “mommy blogger”. In fact, I’m pretty sure most mommy bloggers don’t.

mommy blogger, blogging, motherhood, blog, social media

This illusion of a mommy blogger is not feasible if you think about it because by the very definition of “mommy blogger” we have children, have given birth and/or are pregnant. This does not allow much time for sitting on our asses and eating bon bons though I wish it did. I have never eaten or seen a bon bon in my life because I have kids. Bon bons would never last in my house. As soon as I would try to put one in my mouth some little person would be in my ear asking for a bite and just as suddenly in my mouth snatching it away.

If anything, a Mommy blogger should be defined as a wonder woman like creature who has given birth, is raising children, has the balls and presumably some talent to write about it openly. I also happen to live like a functioning yet severely affected ADHD patient.

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”] You can grab your own Proud Mommy Blogger button under the “about” tab.

A Mommy Blogger is a Multitasker Extraordinare

I sit down to write during naps.Five minutes in someone usually yells out for me. I walk past a toy in the hallway and pick it up. Then I walk into the bedroom to be told that little Suzy needs a drink of water. I grab her hamper and carry the clothes to the laundry room and start the washer. While the washer is filling, I walk to the cupboard to grab a cup. I fill the cup and then I wash the few dishes that are in the sink. I load the washer, walk back to the child’s bedroom and hand her the water. She asks for a tissue. I walk into the bathroom to grab a tissue. Clean the sink and make it free of toothpaste. I pick up the wet towels from this morning. I walk back across the hall, hand Suzy a tissue, give her a kiss and walk towards the laundry room. Out the corner of my eye, I see that the living room coffee table is covered in puzzles and coloring books and the cushions need to be fluffed. I take the laundry to the laundry room. As I walk through the kitchen towards the living room, I see that there are crumbs from breakfast on the table. I grab the sponge and begin to wipe the table. My phone dings. I have a text message from my husband. I call the insurance company to ask about a statement. While I listen to musak, I fluff pillows and put away puzzles. The living room is tidy. I take the pillow the girls drug from my bedroom back to my bed. Musak continues. I notice I still need to fix my bed. I fluff the comforter and realize there are loveys in my bed. More musak. I finish fluffing my pillows and straightening my bed then I walk across the hall to put the lovey on my youngest daughters shelf. Musak is still playing. She stirs and I have to stop what I am doing and soothe her back to sleep. Tip toeing out of the room, the musak suddenly stops and a very loud insurance agent yells, “Mary Jane Magilicutty, How may I help you?” Startled, I run out of the room. 20 minutes later, I am done being transferred, pressing one and explaining to this agent the extent of my stress incontinence. I am about to lose my mind. I walk to my desk to continue writing my article that I started an hour ago when the kids first went down for their nap. Shit! I forgot I need a cup of coffee. I walk to the coffee maker and begin the process of making a cup. I can’t find the creamer. I go in search of the creamer. It’s at the very back of the refrigerator behind the apple juice, organic milk and leftovers. I finally get to it and the apple juice, whose lid was apparently not closed, falls out of the refrigerator and spills on the ground. 20 minutes and a lot of cussing later I am headed back to my desk with tepid coffee after mopping up the juice. I walk over to my desk, sit down and type one sentence and a little one walks up to me and tells me they are awake. Breathe. Wait. Repeat. That, my friends, is the day in the life of a Mommy blogger.

This is my day, every day. I work in 5-minute increments and then I stay up until the wee hours of the night to make up the difference. Bon bons? I can barely sneak in a minute to eat a piece of stale cold toast. So don’t tell me that Beyoncé does more than me before 8 am because I am still asleep and then I sit in my robe all day. Hey fuck you! I run circles around Beyoncé. She has a team of people to do what she does. I am a team of one for most of the day. It’s just short people, who I can barely understand, and me. Being a Mommy blogger means I not only do all the Mommy duties of my day, I throw in researching, writing and thinking up interesting things to say.Well, things to say. Do you have any idea how hard that is when I have a raging case of Mommy brain, 2 little ones in my ear talking about everything that has ever happened to them and anyone they know and trying to remember birthdays, anniversaries, appointments, meetings and deadlines?

It’s hard but I do it because I LOVE it. I love my girls, I love my husband, I love my job and I want it all. Am I exhausted? Yes. Do I say some things that are irreverent? Yes, I am too tired to over think it. Do I make mistakes? Hell, yeah. Do I feel mental? Yes. So throat punch to anyone who thinks mommy bloggers sit around in their robes all day.  Now, pass the fucking bon bons, I’m hungry, exhausted and I have a deadline and I’ve only got 5 minutes before the kids wake up again.

What do you think when you hear the word Mommy blogger?



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Jill SIMONIAN 2012/07/12 - 10:44 am

This is one of my most favs from u yet! Praise! And also, have u been spying on me? Haha. All true except u forgot about washing bottles, putting pacifiers back in the mouths of infants who cant keep it in their mouths during a nap… and cutting strawberries into microscopic pieces so that your toddler doesn’t choke… Oh and then constantly swiffering the kitchen floor. But yeah Deborah, ya pretty much NAILED IT as usual!!!

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:22 pm

Shhh, Jill I’ve got cameras on you:)LOL Oh yes, cutting the food into microscopic pieces and I even had to eliminate some culprits from the diet all together after too close for comfort choking experiences. For example, you will never find raisins in my house due to a near death choking experiment with my first. My second has never even tasted a raisin. I have nightmares of them being grown women, hiding behind some dark recess of a building chewing raisins, surrounded by crackheads:)LOL

KalleyC 2012/07/12 - 11:52 am

Preach the truth sister! Let’s be honst, most of “mommy bloggers” blog at 5 minutes at a time, and forget about commenting. Forget about commenting, it could an hour from the time you read the article to the time you actually leave a comment.

Some people just don’t get it, but they shouldn’t try sharing their ignorance about what a mommy blogger is. We do our best to do it all, all with two hands and two legs, and a full brain.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:20 pm

Amen! We try our best and do what we can:) XO

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms 2012/07/12 - 12:26 pm

Damn this was good. You described a day so well that I was twitching by the end of your post.

Couldn’t find any bon-bons, but I scrounged up a foil covered Easter egg. Go ahead take the whole thing, you don’t have to share. You deserve it. Ellen

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:17 pm

LOL! Proud Mommy Bloggers unite:)

Bruna 2012/07/12 - 1:15 pm

This was awesome! Good on you for standing up for us all. Most of my writing I do once the kids are in bed cause, God forbid, they let me even clean the house through the day. Play with us, Mommy!

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:16 pm

Right, then you feel like you should be getting stuff done. That’s the only down side, if we’re playing with kids we are not writing and if we are writing we are not playing with kids and either way…we feel guilty. We have to follow our guts and sleep less:) THough, I really, really, really need a nap.XOXO Shoot me an email and let me know how the photography is going. I miss you.

Amber 2012/07/12 - 2:02 pm

This was really really awesome. I know I find myself as I’m trying to figure out what direction I want to takes things staying quiet. Almost like I’m ashamed of what I love to do. Which I’m not. It’s the others. But I’m starting to come out of my shell more and more. The reason is because of ya’ll and blogging. This is an awesome post and I hope a lot of people read it.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:15 pm

THanks sweetie! We are proud and we are loud:)

Tonya 2012/07/12 - 3:05 pm

I like this. A lot. That is all. 🙂

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:14 pm

Thanks. I know there are a lot of us out there who KNOW EXACTLY that this is our life. It is loaded with busy work but we love it. We are living the dream. I just wish I had a few more arms and a couple paid breaks:)

Tonya 2012/07/12 - 3:06 pm

P.S. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a Bon Bon. Ever.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:13 pm

What is it even?

Mandy 2012/07/12 - 3:54 pm

THIS! Exactly.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:12 pm

I knew you would understand:)

Christie @ Actual Times May Vary 2012/07/12 - 4:36 pm

So true! I’ve only been blogging a couple of months and while I love to write, it’s extremely hard to do so with constant interruptions and distractions being a SAHM (as you so aptly described).

Then there’s the whole social media aspect…finding time to comment, tweet, etc. I wish I did have a chocolate bon-bon…for its boost of caffeine so I could keep going and going and then go some more…

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:06 pm

Oh yes social media and the bigger your blog and following gets the less time you will have. I feel that what’s suffered the most for me is the commenting on other blogs. I try to read but I just can not find the hours in the day to leave all the comments that I want to. But I do stay pretty active on Twitter and I try to touch base on FB but my priority is writing and my family. BEcause really, if it weren’t for the Mommying I do, I would have never found my Mommy blogger voice:)

Katie 2012/07/12 - 9:45 pm

pfft. I don’t even like bon bons. Does that mean I can’t be a mommy blogger anymore?

Awesome post, yo.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:04 pm

Girl, you just had a baby. In my book, that makes YOU super Mommy blogger. I couldn’t even start blogging until my youngest was 2 because I could not find a spare minute or the brain capacity to function at this level:)You rock.

Jessica @FoundtheMarbles 2012/07/12 - 9:54 pm

I find the term demeaning – depending on who is saying it. Perhaps it’s because I do not blog primarily about motherhood and the assumption by the term is that all bloggers who have given birth blog about potty training and baby wipes. All I know is that in nobody ever called me a mommy marketer and certainly no one has ever called my husband a daddy salesman. 🙂

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:03 pm

I know many who feel that way. I, personally, don’t find it demeaning because I am a Mommy and I blog. I also don’t spend all of my time talking about motherhood or just my children. I am much more broad than that. I don’t take a offense at all. I feel it’s an accomplishment that I can do anything else along with all my Mommy obligations:) I think it just tells people that I am one hell of a multitasker. And you are right, they sure don’t call my husband a Daddy Engineer:)

Kim @Mama By The Bay 2012/07/12 - 10:25 pm

Ha! That about sums it up! I needed this today, thank you!

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 2:00 pm

It’s hard work making all this look easy, right?:)LOL

Jenni Chiu 2012/07/13 - 12:04 pm

Seriously. I screamed false advertising last week because I haven’t had a single bon bon since I started this gig.
PS- It sounds like you do a lot more tidying than I do. I would’ve left the pillows to clean up dog vomit or something equally appetizing.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/13 - 1:59 pm

LOL! Right, I wouldn’t even know a bon bon if I saw one! We were entirely too hard, my friend. XO Miss you mama.

Jess 2012/07/13 - 3:22 pm

I love how outspoken you are. How it’s about YOU and your feelings and not pimping out the next company (not that I don’t mind your giveaways!) but it’s not about being here or there and look at me on this blog! It’s just about about the words, the truth, LIFE.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/15 - 1:37 pm

Your words have made my year. Thank you for being a reader of the TRUTH about Motherhood and thank you for being such a great friend. Thank God for the internet or we never would have known one another:)

Dafra 2012/07/13 - 6:11 pm

This post was awesome! I am not a mommy, but I can only imagine how offended you could have been. You are a hardworking woman, and I aspire to be half the multi task-er you are when I get babies. You rock, and keep being awesome.

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/15 - 1:40 pm

Having it all is always hard. I was very offended that anyone would think that mom’s don’t have anything to do more than sit around in their robes all day. I wish I had a day where I could sit around in my robe. Even when I am sick, I have to be “at work”. That’s just how it works when you have children. You are always on call, always come second and never have enough sleep but your heart is happy because nothing can fill the void that a child fills ( for me).Thank you for your kind comment.

Ashley @ It's Fitting 2012/07/13 - 7:26 pm

This is SO true! And then I had someone tell me that I don’t do anything around the house except what I want to do… Because my perfect day involves wiping butts and missing deadlines.
And you know what? Sometimes it’s ok to ignore your kid. He’s almost 3 and needs to learn how to play by himself, as opposed to having me entertain him every damn minute of the day. 10 minutes for me on the computer to try and firm up a piece won’t kill him.
Also, I’m pregnant, so GIVE ME YOUR BON BONS. 🙂

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/15 - 1:42 pm

Deal, as soon as I ever see a bon bon, I will send them your way you deserve them. Pregnant mommies should always get what their bodies want. Mine always wanted ice cream:) It was unfortunate that both of my children came out of the womb slightly lactose intolerant. I can see that you understand every sentiment in this post. I wish you luck in sneaking in the time to firm up posts, it’s hard finding those 5 minute increments:)

Gigi 2012/07/14 - 3:40 pm

Preach it!!!! 🙂

Deborah Cruz 2012/07/15 - 1:43 pm

I know you know. It is hard work but it is so fulfilling, if not exhausting:) Miss you, mama! XO

Naomi 2012/08/02 - 9:10 pm

I salute you for being able to juggle being a mother and a blogger. I may not be a full-fledged blogger but I know how tiring that can be and you being able to do that at the same time is great.

Cassandra 'CJ' Wunsch 2012/08/29 - 5:27 am

I think I might be a little in love with you right now *g* got any of those Bon Bon’s left? My 4-year-old can SMELL chocolate at about a mile.

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