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prenatal yoga, serenity now, mommy truisms

Mommy Truisms; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Motherhood

by Deborah Cruz

Mommy truisms ~The truth, the whole truth and nothing but my entire truth. I wish someone would have told me the truth, but I’ m sure I wouldn’t have believed them if they had tried! But no more, I refuse to further take part in the vicious cycle of perpetuating the myth of constant Motherhood bliss by sharing my brutally honest truth about Motherhood!

  • When receiving your epidural during transition labor (first of all, if you are  in transition labor..you’ve missed your window of escaping the ordeal pain free), you certainly do not care what the consequences are of an epidural mishap. Chronic migraines? Possibility of paralysis? Death? Bring it on, at that point anything was better than the pain of my labor!
  • Looking into the eyes of your newborn for the first time is, indeed, a Godlike moment filled with spirituality and you better believe it will change your life forever.
  • A baby changes everything is by far the most honest and underestimated advertising slogan of the century; of all time! Hell yeah; Pregnancy changes everything!
  • No penis ever blacked a fetus’ eye! I promise you, it doesn’t happen ..no matter what your husband wants to believe!
  • Sometimes giving into whining, screaming and tantrums is an absolute must. Do not feel like a failure! Do not beat yourself up over it! Let it go! Serenity now!
  • Mom’s Night out is imperative to your sanity! Do it! Everyone will be happier, your husband will get lucky, and the kids will be glad Mommy has pulled the grouchy stick out of her ass! Trust me, I learned this the hard way!
  • Alone time with your husband is an absolute necessity for the survival of your marriage! Don’t feel guilty, if it weren’t for the love that you two share, those kiddies wouldn’t be here. Love your man, love yourself, love your life and you will be capable of loving your children even more.
  • Sometimes a large glass of wine, after the kids go to bed, is what needs to be done to help you decompress enough to move past all of the chaos of the day. Don’t feel guilty! Keep that damn bottle chilled and when you really need it, uncork it, and sip it until you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and all the shit (literal and metaphorical) from the day falls off of you..like a nightie on your honeymoon.
  • Stay at Home Mom(SAHM) is the most underpaid, overworked, 24/7 job that a woman can ever undertake. It will let you know what you are really made  of. It’s the only job that will take you from the throes of hell to the gates of heaven within a 24 hour period and sometimes simultaneously.
  • Mommies who work outside of the home, they have double the work. We SAHM Mommies may be envious at times because they get to leave the house for a few hours, but then they have to deal with the guilt of leaving their children plus come home and do what we do all day…in 4 hours. So, cut each other some slack, its hard all the way around. There’s no getting around it; raising healthy, happy, intelligent,independent,  socially responsible humans is a lot of hard work! But I believe its worth it because in the end, no money can substitute for what a random “Me Love you MOMMY” feels like. That is priceless!

What are your mommy truisms?

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31 comments

Casey 2010/07/21 - 9:34 am

so true

Reply
Big Fat Gini 2010/07/21 - 10:15 am

Your body will be jacked up in 1,000 different ways no matter how hard you work to get back in shape. Your kidneys are now where your liver used to be, your bladder is about a foot lower than it was pre-birth, and you've developed some sort of condition where your feet look like Fred Flintstone's. It's okay!

Great post!

Reply
Home♥Mom.com 2010/07/21 - 10:44 am

although I don't agree with all these were really funny. New follower for ya and thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier 😉
https://home-mom.com
Love your design!

Reply
Home❤Mom.com 2010/07/21 - 10:44 am

although I don't agree with all these were really funny. New follower for ya and thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier 😉
https://home-mom.com
Love your design!

Reply
Christy, Home-Mom.com 2010/07/21 - 10:44 am

although I don't agree with all these were really funny. New follower for ya and thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier 😉
https://home-mom.com
Love your design!

Reply
MommyLovesStilettos 2010/07/21 - 10:49 am

"No penis ever blacked a fetus' eye! I promise you, it doesn't happen ..no matter what your husband wants to believe!"

LMAO!!! I love it!

Reply
Esther - TTBM 2010/07/21 - 11:00 am

Awesome truths! I am sending a link to my husband!

following back!

https://toddlertalesbymommy.blogspot.com/

Reply
Esther - TTByM 2010/07/21 - 11:00 am

Awesome truths! I am sending a link to my husband!

following back!

https://toddlertalesbymommy.blogspot.com/

Reply
~J 2010/07/21 - 11:47 am

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this post! You speak the truth..that's for sure!

Reply
Boobies 2010/07/21 - 11:47 am

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this post! You speak the truth..that's for sure!

Reply
Robin 2010/07/21 - 3:50 pm

Love it!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Baby Boberg & Parents 2010/07/21 - 1:50 pm

Truer words have never been said. I needed that laugh right now. Just got done wrestling my little guy down for a nap!
Why on earth they believe they're hitting the baby with their penis is beyond me. Trying to explain it to them is pointless. 🙂
Gave you an award on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

Reply
Chasity @ The Intertwined Life 2010/07/21 - 10:01 pm

WOO HOO. Well said and SO true.

Reply
addicted2shius 2010/07/22 - 8:41 pm

Hahah hilarious! Especially the "grouchy stick up the a**" part. Sadly so true in my case 🙂

Reply
Claudya 2015/03/27 - 10:14 pm

All true.

Reply

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