Dear Miley Cyrus,

“Don’t you ever say I just walked away/ I will always want you/ I can’t live a lie, running for my life/ I will always want you”

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Haven’t we all been here? That one big love that just wrecks you. I’d say Miley is just about on time. I know I had a couple of these in my early 20′s. Because when you are 20, everything is HUGE and love is the one thing that trumps everything else and when it ends it truly does wreck you and ruin you for awhile but you don’t know that until you have moved past it. When it happens, it feels like the end of everything. Remember that feeling? It sucked.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Where do I start? Miley,I am not your mama, but if I were, I’d give you a big hug. You are having a hard time of it lately but this Wrecking Ball video is not helping your situation. What the hell is all the nudity suppose to mean? I thought it was a heartfelt, plea to save the relationship with your fiancé, Liam Hemsworth, but then the sledgehammer licking came in like a wrecking ball and wrecked the entire video.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

I am baffled by all the nudity and tongue flicking of the sledgehammer? Is it a nod at fellatio? Are you publicly promising sexual favors for his return? I’m not judging. I’m just so effing confused. Miley, I know you were young, independent and embracing your sexuality. We’ve all been where you are at, minus the money and public watching. It’s hard. I understand that you’re trying to grow up and break free of the Hannah Montana monkey on your back but this video makes you seem angry and desperate. One minute it’s begging for forgiveness and the next it’s saying, Go! Get the fuck out of here.

When the whole Robin Thicke debacle happened, I said hey, there are two people on stage stop placing all the blame on Miley. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with twerking, well, except for the fact that it is not very becoming on anyone and it’s kind of skeevy. I expect it from strippers, not so much from pop stars. It’s kind of gross but I’m sure you’ve heard this all before from your own parents. Anyways, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a young woman expressing herself and embracing her sexuality. You’ve got a rockin 20 year-old body, show it off but remember with great power comes great responsibility and that rockin body can get you into some trouble, as you’ve already began to find out. The nudity in the video was like going to church to ask for forgiveness and twerking your way to the confessional. Insincere and confusing.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

You standing alone vulnerable, crying worked but in the blink of an eye you are walking around in your undies in a construction site, which seems very dangerous. Thankfully you wore the boots, which I can only hope are steel toe, but what about a helmet ?  That tiny wife beater and matching panties are cute for playing out construction fantasies in the bedroom but not so much in a place where there is actual demolition and wrecking balls.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Speaking of wrecking balls, I totally get the lyrics to this song. I love this song! Love it! I think you can more than sing, you can SANG! But girl, the gratuitous sex serves no purpose. Maybe you were convinced it portrayed a vulnerability that the lyrics fit and yes, nudity, in my opinion, is just about as vulnerable as you can get so I could have rationalized that, if I tried really hard. But what..is.up.with.the.licking.of .the.sledge.hammer? That was too far. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

In that instant, you went from vulnerable heartbroken woman and expressing herself artistically to gratuitous sexual innuendo and then it went down hill from there. That one lick of the hammer reduced the entire video to nothing more than being naked for the sole purpose of shocking people. Also, wasn’t it uncomfortable being naked on that wrecking ball? It had to be cold and licking the sledgehammer? Why? Just why? It just came in like a wrecking ball and fucked up the entire video.

This video makes me feel sorry for you, question whether you are in crisis and wonder if maybe someone should slip you a couple stabilizers. It’s one thing to have a breakdown but quite another to do it in the public eye. Next time, give a little more thought to what you want the final product to say about the song and about you because as it stands it’s not saying too much about you other than you like being naked and maybe that you are a little bitter. It goes from being a bittersweet love ballad to a raunchy sexual exploitation in 30 seconds flat.

mileycyrus

This video reminds me of that girl who got dumped by the love of her life and at first she’s heartbroken and begs him back and then, indignantly yells a giant, “Fuck You, I never loved you anyways. Take a good look at what you had because you can’t have it anymore” that is what this video does. You are not Taylor Swift. You don’t want to be that bitter bitch. Have your feelings, have your breakdown, you’re entitled to that but do it in private with a couple of girlfriends and a tub of ice cream and tequila like the rest of us.

Unfortunately, to my chagrin, I have to throat punch that damn sledgehammer licking because it was so damn nasty.

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

 

Miley Cyrus, you wreck me.

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