There was no revolution. I turned 40 a couple of days ago, you may have heard. Oddly enough, it passed quietly with dignity and grace. There was no bucking and raging against the night like there was for my 30th or even my 38th. I did not feel overwhelmed with failure or the need to fight my evolution tooth and nail. I was enveloped in peace and all consuming contentment. Sounds strange, right? I’ve never felt this way before, except for the first few minutes immediately after my children were born and on the day I got married. I’m assuming it’s the calm before the storm of life changing events.
I am Resolving to incite a revolution
I am way past the point of making resolutions. After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most. Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!
No MORE Cheating! You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.
Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!
Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity. I may even take a day or two off of social media and just put my feet up and take it all in.
Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and our girls know how very much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?” My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core.
Revolution: A Commitment to Change
Prioritize, Perspective, and Present. The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my disposal because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.
Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like Kool-aid at a Jonestown party. No more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.
Incite a Revolution. I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.
How do you treat yourself well? Do you treat your body well? Your soul? Your mind? You are worth the revolution.
The Revolution Starts Today
**I am hosting a Twitter party this Sunday night September 30th for #Previlean at 9 pm EST/ 6 PST. I hope you can make it. Just follow @TruthfulMommy @PreviMedica and @JessicaGottlieb to join in the conversation. Please leave your Twitter handle in the comments so that we can follow you back! I’d love to find out what you do to treat yourself right? How will you start your revolution?
****Part of this post was originally posted here.
3 comments
Deborah,
Welcome to 40. I’m there too but 9 months ago and it has been an interesting year physically and mentally.
My mom told me a few months ago that 40 was her favorite age. She really knew herself and that she was more confident than ever before. She didn’t care what others thought or said anymore and basically “took the bull by the horns.” I feel many of us women do that at 40. Why do we wait for that year? IDK. But it seems to coincide with life experience.
Anyhow, I am in this revolution with ya. OK, I will be cheating on diets but I am determined to mentally and physically try to be the best person I can be and not repeat past mistakes.
Embracing my cellulite,
~Allie
I. Loved. Turning. 40. It was SO freeing for me! I felt like I finally had the Goddesses blessing to not worry about my filter. I still try to use some eloquence when I tell someone exactly what I think but if I don’t – oh well. They can blame it on my age. I decided that the knot in my stomach from speaking my mind and saying what I though was a small pain in comparison to just not saying anything and letting someone try to gain control and take advantage of situations. I decided that I really don’t care if you don’t like me – I would prefer it if you did but if you decide you don’t because of something that I say or if I call you out on a wrong then I don’t need you in my life anyhow. I decided that life is too short for people who suck the energy out of me and constantly require maintenance and upkeep.
I love your revolution and I’m 3 years into mine. But you’ve inspired me to revolt just a little bit more.
You go, girl and Happy 40th!
Happy 40th Debi! I love this. You are so right. I especially like the part about forgiveness and accepting that you are not perfect. It is hard for us mothers to do that, but I agree it is so important! And something very valuable to pass along to our kiddos. Thanks for this!!
Molly