I see Sick People

Sick People get on my Nerves. Now, before you go all batshit crazy on me for making such an outlandish and insensitive remark right at the holidays. Let me explain. My entire family has been sick for what seems like an eternity the past three weeks. It started with me getting a supercalifragilistic case of sinusitis with a side of ear infection this is par for the course ( if you’ve ever read this blog, you know I ALWAYS  get this. It’s ridiculous the frequency with which my sinuses bitch slap me.) But to make matters worse, my 6-year-old came down with some respiratory treatment-resistant viral devil bubonic plague that hung around for 2 weeks.

Of course, she impeded on my sick time, so I had to suck it up and rub some dirt on it. She missed 8 ( count ’em) days of school due to a nasty fever that would not relent. She hated being stuck in bed and she complained about every single second of it. She wouldn’t eat. She enjoyed me being at her beckon call a little too much. I think she may have developed a slight addiction to her Delsym nighttime and she told me that I was the worst mother ever a couple times in her fever-induced hallucinating state. It was a magical 8 days.

But last Wednesday, she had been fever free for 24 hours and I gladly took her back to school. I’m sure that you’ve all noticed that posts have been a little erratic the past couple of weeks, this is why.

Sick people of the little kind

Thursday I felt like I had the flu. Thursday night, her sister started coughing her little 4-year-old head off. Again, I had to ignore my own symptoms and take care of my little girl. This means today I am at a minimum of three weeks of sick children, which means three weeks since I’ve had a decent nights sleep.Decent for me is 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’m an insomniac for God’s sake, I take what I can get. I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me.

You’ve all been through this. It’s what we Moms do, whether we like it or not. But what’s been super special is that this week the sick child is the angry child and every time she wakes up in the middle of the night with a coughing fit, screaming for water, if I don’t wake from my dead sleep in a split second this is what I hear. ” Mooooommmmmmyyyyy, I’m sick! I need water!!” *Groan* ( split second later) *Louder*”Mooooommmmyyyyyy, I’m Sick!I need water! Do you want me to die?I hate you!!!” What a way to wake up. I was barely even awake before she was tearing me down.

Sick People of the Angry Kind

Sunday evening the Big Guy started feeling achy and discombobulated. I was sure that he was trying to lay the groundwork for doing absolutely nothing on his day off. You know what sheisty planners men can be.

Then Monday, the achy discombobulation turned into chills and general malaise of the man cold variety. Do you know the only thing worse than a 2-week stint of sick children? Five days straight of a combination of the last week of school, a sick child who hates you, another one who’s still coughing and a husband in a pear tree who has been reduced to a 250-pound baby Huey.

I’ve been trying to tend to everyone’s needs ( except for my blogs obviously and my own) but this no sleep business coupled with it being Shark Week may not bode well for the patients of the house. My patience is wearing thin and these pretzels are making me THIRSTY! ( if you’ve ever watched Seinfeld you totally get that reference if not, you think I am a complete moron.) Thank God they are slowly but surely on the mend. I will continue on kissing booboos and taking temps, putting forward my best Florence Nightingale moves and hopefully by Sunday, they will all be well.

How do you deal with a house full of sick people at the holidays? How do you keep from being one of the sick people? Wishing you and yours a very Happy Sick People Free Holiday celebration.

Everywhere I turn, I See Sick People