Flupocalypse 2012: The Vlog
While we’ve all been waiting patiently to see whether or not the Mayans were right and we are on the brink of an apocalypse come December 21, my household has come under fire early in it’s own apocalypse of sorts; Flupocalypse 2012.
It’s been a long time since I have had the true, honest to goodness flu. Sure, I have had bouts of the 24 hour stomach variety and God knows I’ve experienced my fair share of head colds and sinus infections. Hell, I am the poster child for sinus infections. I am an ENT’s wet dream. But the flu, that is a beast of another variety.
The Big Guy and Gabs were home sick all of last week. I mean in the bed, couldn’t move, wouldn’t eat, looking like they were as close to miserable as they could get. I tended to them both and there were a lot of late nights taking temperatures and getting vomited on. There were a couple nights there where Gabs had me awake almost constantly between her coughing, temperature taking and blowing her nose and administering meds and giving cuddles and there is wherein my fatal mistake was made. I neglected myself and by Friday morning, I was bed ridden.
I am not joking. I am like a bull, you can’t keep me down. I don’t take naps or lay in bed unless it is the middle of the night but Friday morning, I was done. I had a fever of 103 for almost 3 days, which may not seem very high but I normally run about 96 degrees so it was fairly high for me.My throat felt like razor blades were run down the back of it and I was coughing up phlegm by the buckets. I was severely congested, I lost my voice, my head hurt form sinus pressure. I was vomiting from drainage and worst of all, my skin hurt for even my clothes to touch me. I was in excruciating pain from head to toe. The only salvation I found was ibuprofen, gallons of water, Mucinex and Wal-Flu ( apparently they took theraflu off the shelves) whatever it was, it worked. I’ll be honest, I was in so much pain I would have drank monkey piss if it made me feel better.Thank heavens it didn’t come to that.
Finally, this morning ( Tuesday) 5 days after the flupocalypse descended upon me, I can finally sit upright. Of course, I got a little too overexcited this morning and thought maybe I should eat something, seeing as how I have lost 7 pounds in the past 5 days. I drank a glass of orange juice. Yes, I do realize in retrospect that this was not a good idea because almost immediately after swallowing it I was doubled over in the fetal position for the next 15 minutes trying to recover. It was liking throwing acid onto an open wound. It was stupid and I don’t recommend it. Back to crackers and broth.
Anyways, I am on the mend I just wanted to let y’all know why I have been missing in action over the past few days. Thankfully, I think Flupocalypse has lifted with the exception of a little congestion and a hoarse voice and I’m still a little weak, probably from the forced starvation. Now, if I can just survive past December 21, 2012.