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A Promise Ring; Friendship with benefits, if you will

by Deborah Cruz

My beautiful little sister came in town this past week to rescue me from my back who had taken it upon itself to vacate the premises. She is awesome like that. She dropped everything, hopped a train and resumed all of my regularly scheduled duties!God, how I love her for that. Her and I have always been very close, despite me being 5 years her elder. We have the best rapport. We also have the best conversations about everything under the sun. She’s my sister, so there’s a definite no holds barred quality to our time together. We are very much alike in most ways but we do differ on one thing…the TV that we watch. What I am saying is that I’m the  Vampire Diaries, Grays Anatomy,Private practice type and she keeps MTV in business. So we were talking about TV the other day and she told me something about the Brett Micheals show that  literally made my laugh my ass off. And I am thanking God for this conversation because without her unending knowledge of all things scandalous, I would have went  my entire life without laughing this hard.

My sister recapped an episode in which  Brett Michaels  gave his “girlfriend”,Kristi Gibson, a promise ring. Just let that marinate for a moment or two. A FUCKING. PROMISE. RING!!! They have been together for 16 years with 2 children, who are  10 and 5.  This means she has not only been his on again off again girlfriend the entire time he’s been doing his Rock of Love show but she was sleeping with him and having his children. And he gave her a fucking Promise ring! There were rumors that he had FINALLY proposed last July but he said “No”  and called the ring  a “Friendship ..with benefits” ring, basically what she had been to him all along. No one needed a fucking ring to know this. It’s like he was saying, Hey, you’re good but there might be something better out there for me. I’ve only fucked about 30 % of the  20 year old population, give me a little more time.I’ll get back to you! *This is not a direct quote but a loose interpretation of what Mr.Michaels may have been thinking:)

Isn’t a promise ring something a 13 year old gives his girlfriend ? I mean, even the Jonas brothers pony up an actual engagement ring and they are practically fetuses. If I were Kristi Gibson, I would probably have kicked Brett Michaels in his balls and snatched his do rag ( hair and all) off of his head. That was not only an insult it was injurious to her spirit…and he apparently did it in front of cameras. Plus, it was after he had already endured his whole health fiasco. So it was more desperate times desperate measures type of indulgence than a show of his true love for her. It was like a great big smack across the face that said..Maybe! When my sister told me of this reality TV flop, I couldn’t stop playing the whole train wreck in my mind. It was on repeat on an endless loop ( like  those 80’s hairband love songs that I used to lull myself to sleep with when I was a wee teenie bopper myself…waiting for my own promise ring:)LOL How apropos.

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Photo courtesy of the internet

 

I guess sometime around Christmas, Brett Michaels made it official and actually proposed to Kristi. It was the season finale of his show Life as I know it , how convenient. What some people won’t do for ratings. It only took 16 years. I hope to God there was a new ring, something of the 10 carat variety to help squelch some of the  embarrassment of giving a grown woman who’d endured the ring of fire ( not once but twice) for you. Myself, I still hope she , even though she said yes,  kicked him in the balls and snatched the do rag off just for good measure. It would only be fitting. Because giving a grown ass woman who has stood by you for 16 years and had your children, is about as close to snatching a do rag and kicking a lady in the balls.

A.FUCKING.PROMISE.RING!!

* It has come to my attention that he did NOT give her a new ring, but used the same ring and has not set a date. Saying something to the effect that it may be the longest engagement in history. I’m pretty sure the only way she’s getting him down the aisle before they are 80 is if another health scare presents itself.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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8 comments

Alexandra 2011/02/26 - 10:32 am

Hey, came over to check on you. So glad you have a sister able to help you.

I was blessed with the same thing: I was on bedrest, and my sister came to help me.

Oh, the fun of having another woman in the house with a shared sense of humor.

The laughing, the wonderful laughing: thanks for making me pick up the phone and call her now.

HOPE YOU”RE BETTER SOON.

Reply
Truthful Mommy 2011/02/26 - 1:15 pm

Alexandra.

Thanks! Sisters Rock! It’s a fact. I am so lucky to have 2 sisters, by blood and several friends who are the closest thing that I can get to blood:) I’m a lucky girl!

Reply
Bruna 2011/02/26 - 12:20 pm

Wow! 16 years or so with the guy and she still stays? I know they have kids together but c’mon, he is obviously taking advantage of her. I agree, she needs to rip off hat rag and give him a good one where it counts and then leave. Any woman deserves so much better than that!

On another note, glad your sister came to your rescue and glad to hear you’re on the mend. We’ve missed you:)

Reply
Truthful Mommy 2011/02/26 - 1:18 pm

Bruna,
I am in total agreement! That poor girl. I;m not sure what the draw is.Maybe girlfriends gotta a t hing for do rags:)LOL

Missed you too!
XO

Reply
Queen Momma-Sweet Merciful Crap 2011/02/28 - 1:38 pm

I’m one of 4 children, 1 sister and 2 brothers, one of which is my Twin. There is definitely a special bond between sisters. Maybe it’s hormonal, quite possibly psychological, most definitely necessary. Neither of my brothers would EVER think of running into the drugstore for a personal item for me, like they were embarrassed or something.. We’re all very close, but sometimes THEY could be real Assholes!

For the record, I don’t think you are! I promise! :handing you a ring: 😉

Hope you’re feeling better soon!

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Queen Momma-Sweet Merciful Crap 2011/02/28 - 1:53 pm

I am one of four, a sister and 2 brothers (one of which is my twin) I agree that there is a special bond between sisters. Whether it be genetic, mental or just plain necessary. Neither of my brothers would EVER run to the drugstore in an emergency for me, but I could always count on my sister. We are all very close but sometimes, THEY could be real Assholes!

I never thought you were, I promise! :handing you a ring:

Hope you’re up and feeling better real soon! 😉

Reply
Jess@Straight Talk 2011/03/23 - 4:43 pm

That is so damn hilarious. How the hell do you do a show seeking out all the whores and then give your chick a promise ring? And still be with her? DAMN.

Reply
Marinka, The Mouthy Housewives 2011/03/23 - 9:01 pm

I’m glad that those crazy kids are not rushing into anything!

Reply

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